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It is his first week on the job, and Korver is already letting his presents be known. We fade in on him re decorating the missing Jayson Burrows office. He takes down all of the pictures that Burrows had hanging on the walls. In their places, he put up a pictures of himself and nude pictures. He goes behind the desk and sits down.
Then there is a knock at the door.
Korver: Don’t just bloody stand out there. Come in.
Peaches walks into the office. He is shocked by the new layout of the office.
Korver: Oh bloody Hell. What do you want?
Peaches still looking around confused a bit by Korver’s sense of decoration.
Peaches: I just came by to see if you needed anything.
Korver: Like I would call on you if I needed anything. Only reason I would call on you is if I was looking for a sexual harassment suit.
Peaches sits down in the chair. Korver looks outraged.
Korver: I didn’t tell you to take a seat. This is my office now, not Burrows. You can’t just come in here and make your soar ass at home.
Peaches laughs.
Peaches: You’re a bit feisty. I like that.
Korver: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I bet you like long walks on the beach too.. NOBODY GIVES A FUCK WHAT YOU LIKE!
Peaches: You’re right. Lets talk about what you like.
Korver: This is just great. My first day and I have a fudge packer hitting on me.
Peaches: What’s with the hostility. I am just trying to be friends.
Korver: Yeah, and a dick to suck later.
Peaches: No, that is just a plus.
Korver is pissed.
Korver: Get the Hell out of here!
Peaches gets up.
Peaches: Fine… and by the way, you are perhaps the tackiest person when it comes to decorating.
Peaches starts to walk towards the door, and looks on the wall and sees a picture of Korver hanging. It is a picture of him standing dressed in a nice suit with a black background. Peaches grabs it off the wall. He turns to Korver.
Peaches: If I can’t have beef, I might as well settle for bologna.
Peaches laughs and runs out of the room. Korver gets up to try to catch him, but Peaches is too far ahead of him. Korver makes it to his office door and stops and watches Peaches run down the hallway. The scene fades. The scene fades into the words:
LAST WEEK
Flashes across the screen and it shows highlights of last week’s Parental Advisory highlights of Luther Savage earning himself a spot in the Psycho Circus Death Match, to the One Shot match against CJ Gates and Alyssa Lee where CJ leaves the victor, we also see Twilight Rayn teaming up with Hallow Wicked, As the highlights speed up an explosion is shown on the screen and a big flashing PARENTAL follow by ADVISORY is seen on the screen. The shot then changes to a speeding collage of all of last weeks show highlights and it ends with an echo of Burrows saying "Parental Advisory is ADVISED!!!' A slow fade shot of Jayson Burrow is shown and an image of WU’s Co-Owner Eric Evans, and it quickly fades into clips of different arousing events. Clips of Japan sex tapes, A few scenes of a strippers in geisha houses, and a few assorted buildings being blown up. The highlights continue to quicken in pace until finally they are too fast to even recognize then they stop as the word 'XRATED' is shown on the screen for a few seconds, before it explodes and as the mushroom cloud fades into a Parental Advisory Warning is advised
I'm so addicted to
all the things you do
when you're going down on me
in between the sheets
all the sounds you make
with every breath you take
its not like anything
when you're loving me
The shot shows two stripper cages being lowered on to each side of the entrance gate as a thick cloud of mist and smoke takes over the entrance...
Yeah girl lets take it slow
so as for you well you know where to go
I want to take my love and hate you till the end
Its not like you to turn away
from all the bullshit I cant take
its not like me to walk away
There are Red, Green, Blue, and Gold lights spinning from under the cage follow by a laser impression of two sexy out lines of some fine curves...
I'm so addicted too all the things
you do when you're going down on me
in between the sheets
all the sounds you make
with every breathe you take
its not like anything
when you're loving me
yeahh!!!
There is a small explosion and the laser outlines are filled in with some of Boston's best strippers! And they are dancing there ass off inside the cages..
I know it was getting rough
all the times we spend
when we try to make
this love something better than
just making love again
its not like you to turn away
all the bullshit I cant take
just when I think I can walk away…
The shot switches to the skyline of Tokyo as multi colored pyro along the stage, runway and the ring all erupts at the same time and balloons and confetti is released into the already roaring crowd. The Parental Advisory logo is shown on the projection screen and the what we are calling Advisory girl's hit's the stage just as the cage dancers begin to shed there cloths, as do the stage dancers working the WU stage poles. The camera pans the crowd and it shows assorted signs the fans brought with them before finally settling in on Eric and Alex staring into the camera, ready to call another weeks ring action. Behind the logo we see the jam packed arena
I'm so addicted…
...addicted to you
The camera locks on to Alex and Eric
Alex Horn: I believe Korver is making himself at home
Eric Mark: What would give you that idea?
Alex Horn: Are you serious? Didn’t you see him taking over the office?
Eric Mark: I saw Peaches offer to give him head
Alex Horn: Alright, that’s it…What the hell is going on here? Why are you taking my lines?
Eric Mark: What the hell are you talking about?
Alex Horn: Listen E, you’re the fat dumb fucker, and I am the smart ass, good looking, funny fuck. Its how its been for years.
Eric Mark: I wouldn’t say that. I can be funny to
Alex Horn: Not at all, the only time your funny is when your knocking over women and children at the buffet line
Eric Mark: Happened once, and I told you I wanted the last plate of Mac and Cheese
Alex Horn: THE KID HAD TO GO TO THE ER!!!
Eric Mark: But the Mac and Cheese…
Alex Horn: Sam, save this fat fuck
But instead of going to Sam the camera switches to the back…
The scene fades in on Luther Savage standing backstage. He is looking dead into the camera.
“The WU. Such a talent less place. I mean look around you. Who is here that is worthy? You have two vampires running around bitching about who is gayer when both of them are tied. You have a clown that makes no damn sense half the time he opens his mouth.”
He laughs.
“Such a talent less place, until now. I have come here to save all of you people from this boredom. You see, I am the best, and I will be the best. I am the true talent here in the WU. Not Requiem, Jinx, Skull, Rayn, or Wicked, but me, Luther Savage. All of them are not even worthy of my hand shake.”
He takes off his glasses.
“All of you fans out there are looking at the new face of the WU. I am here to save you from all of these talent less nobodies that inhabit this place. It is a tragedy that all of you had to watch this for so long without me.”
He puts back on his glasses.
“I am Luther Savage, the best in the game today. When I am in the ring, all of you should get out your cameras and use all of your memory or your film on me, because I am as close to perfection that any of you will ever see. I am the new superstar here in Japan, and the only one in the WU.”
He gets closer to the camera and removes his glasses again.
“So you all of you haters out there, prepare to be amazed by me, Luther Savage.”
The scene fades.
One Shot Contendership
Luther Savage vs. Joey Bohnny
Samantha: Ladies and gents, it is time for are opening contest of the night. And it is for the right to meet the One Shot champion next week on Parental Advisory. Introducing first, he is the king of Swing…GIVE IT UP FOR JOEY BOHNNY!
Timmy Gump comes out on to the stage, there is a red carpet and vegas style lights all around the ring, and a 50's style Paparazzi team standing by, along with a group of Roller bladeing, milk shack serving 60's style honeys all around the red carpet.
Timmy Gump: Settle down now, Don't make me get the hose out, haha
Timmy looks at one Joey fan, points and winks
Timmy Gump: Ill be seeing you later honey. But right now its time for the KING BABY!
The opening strings are heard from a guitar
Timmy Gump: Ladies and gents...The King is in the house!
The Lights shut off, leaving a spotlight shinning on the entrance way
Timmy Gump: Its my pleasure to give to introduce...the man...the myth...JOEY BOHNNY!
Right then Joey Bohnny comes jimmy jiving onto the stage, playing the opening strings to his version of Hound Dog, As he strums the cords, the camera gets a shot of all the lovley senor citizens fainting in there seats.
You aint nothin but a hound dog
Cryin all the time.
You aint nothin but a hound dog
Cryin all the time.
Well, you aint never caught a rabbit
And you aint no friend of mine.
Joey Bohnny begins his trademark leg twitch as he makes his way performing his entrance theme, to the ring. With Timmy Gump sinning back up
Timmy Gump: AHHHHHHH....AHHHHHH....AHHHHH
When they said you was high classed,
Well, that was just a lie.
When they said you was high classed,
Well, that was just a lie.
You aint never caught a rabbit
And you aint no friend of mine.
Joey Bohnny gets to the steel steps and a lovely lady toss' him a handkerchief and Joey dabs his forehead before tossing back into the crowed almost causing a riot, there are false teeth, walkers and Cains being tossed all around in a frenzy
Timmy Gump: AHHHHHHHH...AHHHHHHH
You aint nothin but a hound dog
Cryin all the time.
You aint nothin but a hound dog
Cryin all the time.
Well, you aint never caught a rabbit
And you aint no friend of mine.
Once in the ring, he beings to do the whole Jig, the legs start spazing and the arm goes in a circle motion as he winds down his performance
Samantha: And his challenge for the night, give it up for the world famous…LUTHER SAVAGE!
"Touck the Sky" showers the arena of the WU like it was dirty. The crowd jump to their feet like their is a fire under their ass. Luther Savage comes out from behind the curtain like a cannon. The crowd goes crazy while he dances around on the top of the ramp. He hits a Mike Jackson spin at the top of the ramp. He begins to walk down the ramp. He stops and looks around the arena. The fans love him. He throws his arms up in the sky, and the pyro showers down onto him. The gold pyro is falling behind him. When it is done he walks down the ramp. Luther got a mean ass swagger to his walk. He slides into the ring. He holds his arms up again to the fans from the middle of the ring. Like a sponge he just soaks up all the cheers.
The bell ring and Joey goes right after Luther. backing him into the corner and nailing him with rights and lefts. The referee backs Joey off but he charges right back in nailing Luther with a forearm shot before whipping him across the ring. Luther hits the corner hard and stumbles out right into a running big boot from Bohnny. Joey quickly goes for a pin
...1
Joey Bohnny grabs both of Luther's legs and tries for a pin again.
...1
...2
Luther Savage kicks out again and Bohnny immediately start to nail him with forearm shots
Eric Mark: Joey Bohnny is introducing a little Rock and Roll beat down to the rapper
Alex Horn: Again with the lame Jokes E
Luther shoves Bohnny away an d tries to crawl away. You see a bit of blood trickle from his nose as Bohnny is right back on top of him, nailing him with kicks. Bohnny pulls Luther up and whips him to the ropes. Luther comes back with a handspring into a head scissors take down. Both wrestlers get up and Luther nails Bohnny with a stiff kick to the head that knocks him back into the corner. Luther goes after Joey now nailing him with a spinning back kick to the midsection. Bohnny tries to fire back with a kickoff his own but Luther catches Bohnny's leg and takes him down with a Dragonscrew legwhip. Bohnny quickly rolls out of ring for a breather
Eric Mark: Joey Bohnny just learned that you can't take your eyes off of Savage for even a second
Alex Horn: Elvis is dead and Rap is dying does this match really matter?
Joey slides back in the ring and goes right after Savage. Luther fakes a kick and Joey falls backwards into in the corner and covers up. Luther quickly goes in the corner and pulls Joey up. He whips him into the opposite corner and charges in after him nailing him with big splash. Joey stumbles out of the corner and falls to the mat as Luther goes to the top rope. He leaps off nailing Joey with a double foot stop to the head and Joey rolls around on the mat in pain before once again rolling to the arena floor. Luther goes to the top rope as Bohnny gets to his feet. Joey sees Luther and quickly slides back in the ring only to get a Flying Spinning Heel Kick off the top rope as he tries to get to his feet. Joey looks to be out cold and Luther goes for a pin
...1
...2
...3
No Bohnny shoots a shoulder off the mat at the last second.
Luther starts to circle Bohnny looking for the right time to drop him. He goes to grab Bohnny by the head but Joey fights away from Luther and gets to the ropes. Luther pulls Joey up and lifts him on his shoulders but Joey fights off of Luther’s shoulders. He hooks Luther in a sleeper hold and then suplexes him over. Both men are down and the referee begins to count.
...1
...2
...3
...4
...5
Luther gets up first and pulls Joey up with him, Bohnny kicks Luther in the midsection and lefts him on his shoulders now. Luther wiggles free but gets an elbow to the nose from Joey, Knocking him back in the corner. Joey charges in and tries to take Luther over with a monkey flip but Luther lands on his feet. Luther turns around right into an overhead belly to belly supplex from Joey.
Eric Mark: And this crowd is going while. What great wrestling action
Alex Horn: I’ve seen better action at Bingo night with the seniors
Joey pulls Luther up and nails him with forearm shots, backing him into the ropes. He goes to whip Luther across the ring but Inferno reverses it. Joey comes off the ropes and Luther catches and drops Joey with a Samoan Drop. Luther leaps to the top rope and connects with the Crowed Surf, the ref makes the cover
...1
...2
...3
Samantha: Here is your Winner and NEW NUMBER ONE CONTENDER…LUTHER SAVAGE!!!!!!
Johnny Bohnny rolls out the ring leaving Luther to celebrate a big victory, and he begins his walk of shame. He turns around and looks at the crowd before he continues to go to the back. When he gets to the curtain, and sledge hammer comes from behind it, hitting Bohnny right in the face and cutting him open instantly.
Eric: OH MY GOD! What in the Hell was that?
Mason Dixon comes walking from behind the curtain, holding the sledge hammer.
Lex: Mason Dixon?
He puts the end down on Bohnny’s throat and starts to strangle the life out of him.
Mason: How does it feel Bohnny?
He throws the sledge hammer aside and picks up Bohnny. He takes him to the end of the stage. He puts his head between his legs.
Eric: OH NO! Don’t do it Mason!
Lex: THIS IS GOING TO BE AWESOME! DO IT DAMN IT!
He picks Bohnny up and power bombs him off the stage. The crowd is going crazy.
Eric: OH MY GOD!!! We need medical assistance out here fast.
Mason Dixon goes down to where Bohnny is laying at. The medical team rushes out, but they get taken out by rights and lefts by Mason Dixon. He tries to pick Bohnny up, but Bohnny is out cold, so he drags him by the hair of his head to the back.
Mason: Lets go Joe. We are not done yet.
He gets to the back where we see Chad Vargas, standing and waiting for them.
Vargas: Bring his ass over here!
Dixon does as he is told. Vargas gets on top of Bohnny and starts to sink his fingernails into the cut on Bohnny’s head.
Vargas: How does it feel Bohnny?!
Vargas gets off of him.
Vargas: Stand his punk ass up.
Mason Dixon picks him up by his hair. Vargas gets his signature guitar.
Vargas: Say goodnight slap ass!
He swings the guitar as hard as he can, and he SHATTERS it. He doesn’t break it, he SHATTERS it into a hundred different pieces.
Vargas: Let this be a lesson Bohnny.
He looks over at Mason Dixon.
Vargas: Lets get the Hell out of here.
They leave, and just when they do, the paramedics show up with a stretcher. The scene fades on Bohnny, lying in a pool, and I mean POOL, of his own blood.
Eric: Well ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for a very special segment. We have a sneak peek from the movie that Porter MacLeod stars in as the main villain.
Alex: Fuck, from what I've seen he's my favorite character.
Eric: Without further ado, here is the soon to be blockbuster film starring WU's very own, Porter MacLeod.
~~~
If you could live for forever...what would you devote your life to?
The camera rolls over the green hills and shores of Scotland.
An ancient evil arises to stake claim against this family's name
The camera now shows the end of the blade of a sword that glimmers in the sun.
But the game goes on
The camera cuts to two men doing battle with their swords in the basement of a parking garage. The sparks flying off the contact of the blades. We watch the shadows for a short time. A sword comes out of the hand of one silhouette as the other jabs their sword into the stomach of the disarmed foe. The unarmed man falls to his knees as the camera cues on his face, he is gasping for breath.
And in this game...your head is the prize
The camera pans to the man who is still wielding the sword. It is Porter MacLeod. He makes an evil smirk and speaks:
Porter: There can be only one. And Porter Fucking MacLeod is..the one.
He brings his sword down as we watch the shadows again. The head rolls off of the shoulders of the other and thunder begins booming.
Immortality has its benefits, but comes with a cost.
The camera cues back on Porter as lightning begins surging through his body from the body on the ground.
Taking the head of one immortal brings you all his power, all his knowledge, and all the experience of their long lives.
Porter drops his sword and flexes his body, adjusting to his new-found power.
"Porter...what have you done?"
The camera cues over to another man with a sword.
Porter: Ah, Duncan. It has been decades.
Duncan: Why take the life of an innocent?
Porter: You know the rules of the game, Duncan.
Duncan MacLeod returns to fight off another immortal evil, but this time it is his own blood. His ancestor Porter MacLeod has arisen from the shadows to stake claim to the glory of the family name.
Duncan: But not like this Porter...there are other ways.
Porter: Let me be the judge of that, lad.
Adrian Paul returns in this exciting new addition to the franchise, starring as the lead role, The Highlander, Duncan MacLeod. Porter MacLeod stars as himself but only this time he is another immortal, the first and oldest Highlander.
Will Duncan vanquish evil yet again, or will he sacrifice what he believes in to keep from fighting his own bloodline?
This January, watch this epic battle as we see who the true Highlander really is.
The camera cues on Porter and Duncan circling each other in a battle stance for a long moment, then Porter charges Duncan as the screen goes black and the title of the movie comes on the screen.
HIGHLANDER: The Family Tree
There can be only one...Highlander
Alex: Porter is fucking badass in that movie. Did you hear him say it?
Eric: Yes I did.
Alex: I'm Porter Fucking MacLeod. Oh that was great...I'm going to the midnight release on that one. Dudes cuttin off other dude's heads...this is going to be the best one of the series.
A Thousands Volts Match
Prime Time Championship
Porter MaCleod © vs. Troy Gafgen
Samantha: Are next bout of the night is for the Prime Time Championship and is a first ever…THOUSAND VOLTS MATCH!
Eric Mark: Now what the hell is a Thousand Volts match exactly?
Alex Horn: Look, man. We got damn near the same job. If you don’t know this shit then why you think I do?
Samantha: Introducing first the challenger…the Hardcore MVP…TROY GAFGEN!
Perfect Insanity hits and the arena goes pitch black. We then see smoke from the entrance ramp. Then red pyro explode and Troy Gafgen walks out from the curtain. He waves to the fans and slaps some of the fans hands as he walks down to the ring. He then goes into the ring and raises his arms which sets off more pyro as the crowd cheers him.
Samantha: Introducing next, he is the Real Deal and the current Prime Time Champion…PORTER MACLEOD!
“AH FUCK OFF” is heard as the fans recognize it to be the voice of Porter. The fans begin their long, droning chants of “Poorrrrrter, Poooorrrrrrrter” and the first notes of the song play.
“If your looking for trouble
Your in the right place
Don't look at me like that, or i'll headbutt your face
i'm a mean motherfucker
i was born that way
and just because I wear a skirt don't think i'm fuckin' gay
Cause i'm an evil Scotsman
and Jimmy is my name
i'm a sheep shagger from Aberdeen
and causing pain is my game
Porter peeks out through the curtains and looks around. He then steps out from the curtains. He slowly walks to down the ramp, chomping his gum arrogantly and taunting the crowd.
“Now if your a womanv married or not
al take all your kit off and i'll dive in your mot
i'll take your legs and spread them wide
and then i'll put a wet suit on and shag you from inside
i'm an evil Scotsman
and My name is Jock
and the girls are all gaggin' for a portion of my 10" cock
He points to his chest, saying he is the Real Deal and walks up the steps. At the top of the steps he stalls, placing his hands on his hips he looks around nodding his head. He throws his hands up quickly and shakes his head wildly then quickly jumps over the top rope while holding onto it.
Yes i'm an evil Scotsman
and my name is Jock
i've got one hand in my pocket
and i'm playing with my 10" cock
He motions for the camera to come closer and spits his gum on the lens. He laughs and then goes to the corner of the ring. He lies across the top turnbuckle and puts his hands behind his head, waiting for his opponent.
i don't care where you come from
if your big or your small
i've fought the best
and i beat them all
If your english or irish
you wont have to die
but if you are a German you can kiss your arse goodbye
i'm an evil Scotsman
and Jock is my name
if you don't like the rules don't play the fuckin' game
yes, i'm an evil Scotsman
my name is Jock!
and the girls are just dying for a portion of my 10" cock.
The camera pans above the ring to where a black item hangs from the ceiling. Upon closer inspection it appears to be…a teaser gun?
Eric Mark: Is that what I think it is?
Alex Horn: Oh…OH! I get it now! Ha! Thousand Volts! You get it?! That’s funny!
Eric Mark: God you’re dense…
Both men are in the ring, as well as the referee Weener pulls both men into the center of the ring and appears to talk to them, apparently relaying the rules of the match to them. Their eyes stay trained on one another the whole time. But before Weener even has the chance to finish Porter shoves him out of his way and spears Troy to the mat. With no hesitation Porter begins laying into Troy with furious fists, blasting Troy with punch after punch to the head as the Tokyo fans go wild at the explosive beginning! Porter lifts Troy’s head up and slaps him hard across the face with a mocking smile, just before he slams the back of his head against the canvas one hard time for good measure. Porter then climbs to his feet and climbs to the top rope, coming down with a hard hit to the head of Troy using both hands. He then goes crazy with stomps to any part of Troy’s body that his foot can reach. Porter then pulls Troy to his feet, grabs Troy's arm and twists it hard, throwing it behind his back using his own leg to trip up Troy while still holding his arm and causing it to lock up, he releases his arm and stomps him hard in the back.
Eric Mark: Wow! Porter’s on fire already!
Alex Horn: I don’t know but what the hell did Troy Gafgen do?! Do you see Porter’s face? Looks like he’s trying to punish Troy for something!
Eric Mark: For thinking he’s on Porter’s level?
Alex Horn: Could be…
Porter continues his assault on Troy but in the middle of one last kick, Troy catches Porter’s foot in his hand and shoves him back hard. He then flips to his feet and flattens Porter with a clothesline. As soon as Porter pops back to his feet Troy nails him with yet another. But again, a resilient Porter MaCleod leaps up once again, this time to receive a nice standing dropkick from Troy. This time Porter stays down. Troy slouches against the ropes, using this idle opportunity to catch his breath and regain his composure. After doing so, he suddenly drops down to the mat and rolls out of the ring. Troy then slips under the ring and pulls out a huge ladder. At the sight of this the fans react tremendously, prompting a slight smile from Troy. He picks up the ladder and tosses it over the top rope with much effort, making sure it lands right across Porter’s legs in the process in the process. The Real Deal screams out in pain as Troy slides under the ropes and retrieves the ladder.
Eric Mark: Troy Gafgen has turned the tables on this matter somewhat and has already gotten out the ladder!
Alex Horn: And he just threw the damn ladder on Porter! I know that shit had to hurt!
Eric Mark: And Porter’s now setting up that ladder to achieve the foal of this match. To retrieve that teaser guy and shock the holy hell out of your opponent!
With the ladder now standing tall, Troy grabs onto one of the rungs and begins to make his ascension. As he does so, Porter, who has now drags himself over to the ropes, using the ropes to pull himself to his feet. As he does so his eyes immediately fall on Troy making his way up the ladder. Porter halfway throws himself across the ring and latches on to the foot of Troy. With one huge, mighty tug Porter yanks Troy off of the ladder, sending him crashing to the mat! Seconds later the ladder too comes crashing down, right over Troy’s torso! Porter catches wind of this and immediately performs a guillotine leg drop right onto the ladder, smashing it down into Troy in the process. In a matter of seconds Porter is rolling off of Troy, grimacing in pain as his last move has caused him damage as well. He rolls around on the mat obviously in pain as Troy lies completely immobilized beneath the ladder. Porter finds the strength to begin pulling himself up to his feet, favoring his right leg once there as a result of the leg drop. He then pulls the ladder off of Troy and once again sets it up. Troy stirs before slowly regaining his mobility. He climbs slowly to his feet just as Porter begins to climb. Troy makes his way around the ladder to the other side and begins climbing right along with Porter.
Eric Mark: Both men are making their way up the ladder with a purpose. Especially Troy. Look at him go!
Alex Horn: I know, right?! You’d think the cops were chasing him or something!
Even with Porter’s head start Troy shoots up the ladder like lightning and meets his opponent at the top. Porter doesn’t notice just how close Troy is to him until Troy hits him with a hard, closed fist shot to the face. Porter attempts to shake it off and fires back with a hit of his own but Troy blocks his shot and punches him hard again. Porter swings again, this time connecting with the side of Troy’s head. The ladder shakes underneath their movement. Troy grabs Porter by the back of the head and bounces his face right off the top of the ladder not once, not twice, but three times! Troy then hits him with one final punch that sends Porter sailing to the canvas below and leaving Troy alone on the ladder. Troy reaches for the teaser gun, but it is too far to grab. Troy climbs up a few more rungs and at last stretches his arm out far to grasp the teaser gun and yank it from its holdings! Just as he does Porter pushes the ladder out from under him and Troy lands hard on heis back, keeping the only teaser firm within his grasp.
Alex Horn: Troy Gafgen got the teaser!
Eric Mark: But he has to USE it in order to win the match!
Alex Horn: Damn, this shit is NOT gonna feel good!
Eric Mark: Tell me about it! Where does the staff come up with this stuff?!
Porter sets his sights right on Troy and goes for him immediately just before Troy lunges at him with the teaser gun! Porter immediately jumps back and stares wide eyed and cautiously at the teaser wielding Troy Gafgen. Porter begins to circle Troy as Troy keeps on the offensive, attempting to connect the teaser with Porter’s body in vain. In one near fatal lunge attempt Porter manages to kick Troy in the gut. He then grabs the hand the holds the teaser and uses his other one to toss Troy into a headlock. Troy begins punching away at Porter’s gut but Porter doesn’t let go. He squeezes Troy’s hand until he at last drops the teaser. Porter then runs forward and smashes his face right into the mat with a bulldog! Immediately afterwards Porter scrambles for the teaser gun! Troy raises himself up off the mat just as Porter jams the teaser gun into his side, sending a shock all through Troy’s body! Weener calls for the bell!!!
Samantha: Here is your winner and STILL PRIME TIME CHAMPION…PORTER MACLEOD
Alex Horn: Shit, that was crazy.
Eric Mark: It sure was. Porter MaCleod comes out on top!
The scene opens up inside of an office somewhere in the arena. Our current camera view is from the desk towards the door. After a few moments of relative silence, the door to the office opens up and in walks the newly appointed replacement in the WU, Carmine Korver. He is looking at a few pieces of paper in his hands as the camera moves around behind him and to the left. He walks forward, towards the desk, and drops the papers on the top. As he does, the swivel desk chair behind the desk turns, and sitting in the chair....
Is C.J. Gates. He is wearing the same Sherlock Holmes outfit from last week, puffing away on the fake plastic pipe. Korver takes a quick glance back to the door, as if half expecting to be jumped from behind. Gates takes a puff off the pipe and then lowers it from his face.
C.J. Gates: No need to worry, Mister Korver, you are not here to be punished quite yet. I'm sure you know who I am, so I won't go through the introd---
Carmine Korver: Actually, no, I don't really know you who are. I've seen you around but you're name never stuck.
C.J. Gates: Fair enough. A busy man like yourself sees many people and many names. Anyways, my name is C.J. Gates, WU's One Shot champion and the man chosen to lead the investigation into the disappearance of Jayson Burrows, the man you're filling in for.
Gates extends his hand for a handshake, but all Korver does is cross his arms over his chest.
C.J. Gates: Now that we have those pleasantries out of the way, I figure we can get down to business.
Carmine Korver: How the hell did you get into my office?
C.J. Gates: merely a formality, Carmine - can I call you Carmine?
Carmine Korver: No.
C.J. Gates: Alright Mister Korver. Anyways, I would just like to ask you a few questions regarding the case.
Carmine Korver: Are you saying I'm a suspect?
C.J. Gates: Well, naturally. After all, the man you're filling in for---
Carmine Korver: Replacing…
C.J. Gates: Just went missing, and you saunter up to the arena last week as if nothing happened. Now, normal people would be all whacked out that the position they are stepping into has had it's share of kidnappings--
Carmine Korver: Only one…
C.J. Gates: But you were as calm and cool as a cucumber. Doesn't scream innocence to me.
Gates takes another fake puff.
Carmine Korver: I assure you that I am nothing more than the replacement. Besides, I'm your boss. I shouldn't have to answer any questions of yours. Unless, that is, you want to find yourself unemployed.
Gates strokes his chin and then gets up from the seat.
C.J. Gates: Normally, I would be worried. However I was given permission by one Ari Chase to question you.
Carmine Korver: I'm above Ari Chase.
C.J. Gates: Well, yes, you are tall. Maybe that helped you in the kidnapping?
Carmine Korver: What are you talking about?
C.J. Gates: I'm talking about you being a suspect in an ongoing abduction case. I'd appreciate some co-operation on your part.
Carmine Korver: Listen, if you leave this office right now, I won't fire you, and I'll set something up with Ari. Right now, I've got some work to do, that doesn't involve talking to inferiors.
C.J. Gates: Fair enough. Just answer me this. Where were you the night the victim disappeared?
Korver doesn't answer, and instead just gives Gates a stern look. Gates nods his head, takes a fake puff, and then turns to exit.
C.J. Gates: We'll be in touch. Don't leave the country without letting us know.
Gates exits and Korver closes the door. He walks over and takes a seat behind his desk and shakes his head as the scene fades to black.
Eric Mark: What an interesting match up this shaped up to be. As all three of these stars are fighting for a chance to enter the Psycho Circus Death Match
Alex Horn: Yes sir. I don’t even care about all that. As long as I get to watch Alyssa. That’s all that matters to me!
The cameras then cut to the ring where Samantha stands.
Samantha: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is for advancement to the Psycho Circus Death Match. Introducing first…ALYSSA LEE!!!
The lights lower considerably as the beginning of Good Charlotte's 'The River' begins to play. A strobe light kicks on flashing the colors purple and blue in rhythm with the music. The chorus is heard playing at first.
Baptized in the river
I've seen a vision of my life
And I wanna be delivered
In the city was a sinner
I've done a lot of things wrong
But I swear I'm a believer
Like the prodigal son
I was out on my own
Now I'm trying to find my way back home
Baptized in the river
I'm delivered
At this point Alyssa comes walking out from the behind the curtains so that she's now in the public eye. She stands at the top of the ramp surveying the entire crowd before walking down to the ring. Every so often she glances at the fans on either side of her and smirks at them. She finally makes it to the ring and walks up the steps. She stops on the apron and looks around at the crowd before climbing into the ring between the second and and first rope. Once in the ring she holds up her arms as her smirk widens into a smile. She then lets her arms down and turns to face the ramp. The house lights come back on as she stares down her opponent.
Samantha: And next up we have…TWILIGHT RAYN
'Are You Afraid' is heard around the arena. as the keys of a paino begins to play. After the first break the lights dim and power down like there is a power outage. and the spotlight shins on the entrance where we see Twilight Rayn, playing the paino. As the question is heard again "Are you Afriad?" before Twilight stands up away from the paino and begins he walk down the steel ramp. the words "Only Afriad of Losing!" is heard before Twilight rolls into the ring.
Samantha: And last but not least. Give it up for HALLOW WICKED!!!
When the beginning of The Serpentine Offering starts, the lights go out and show complete darkness. Then the path lights up blue and fog starts to rise from the walk way. When the music hits, the lights come back on, but they are blood red. Hallow Wicked steps out from behind the entrance curtain and steps onto the stage with his trench coat on. He looks around at his crowd for a few seconds. He walks down the ramp when the words start in the song, and on he stops half way and looks at a selective few fans and smiles at them. When he gets to the ring, he takes off his trench coat and looks up the ramp way and awaits his next victim
Eric Mark: There’s no telling what to expect from this match.
Alex Mark: I could careless about what happens as I enjoy the bouncing of Alyssa lee
Both Twilight and Alyssa pummel Wicked with rights and lefts, unintentionally teaming up against Wicked. As Rayn nails Rayn with a punch to the gut, Alyssa uppercuts him hard and sends him flying into the ropes. Rayn is on him immediately with a dropkick to the face and Alyssa follows up with a hard clothesline. Neither one allows Wicked to fall though, both taking an arm and whipping him into the ropes across the ring. As he returns they flatten him with a double flap jack as Weener looks on, nodding in approval. Not letting up, they begin laying the boots to him, stomping Wicked viciously and with no remorse, the same goal in mind for the both of them. They then lift him up together and once again go wild on him with a barrage of calculated punches and kicks. Just as it looks grim for Wicked he suddenly powers out of their attack, shoving both Alyssa and Rayn away with a monstrous effort. Rayn lands painfully on his head and his face goes slack, seemingly re-aggravating an injury he just received not so long ago. Wicked looks at him with a smile and begins to stalk towards him just as Alyssa comes out of nowhere with a flying forearm!
Eric Mark: And Alyssa knocks Wicked off his feet once again.
Alex Horn: Twilight is looking like a dead fish up in there!
Twilight rolls around the ring as Alyssa picks Wicked up and throws him into the corner. Alyssa pauses for a moment before charging across the ring only to have Wicked move out of the way at the last second. Alyssa crashes into the corner! Wicked then capitalizes on the moment and hits Alyssa with a reverse DDT! As Alyssa cradles her head in her hands Wicked is on her once again, grabbing her by the throat and dragging her to her feet almost effortlessly. He turns to Rayn with an almost sadistic smirk before powering slamming Alyssa damn near through the ring. With Alyssa sprawled out on the canvas, Wicked places his boot over Alyssa’s throat, applying slowly pressure, cutting off Alyssa’s oxygen supply until she’s blue in the face. Weener suddenly shoves Wicked off of Alyssa, putting an end to the choking. He glares at him angrily but doesn’t do anything but pick Alyssa up once again. He throws her into the corner and smashes his boot into her face, splitting her lip. Blood begins to pour out of the wound as Wicked makes his way over to Alyssa and grabs her by a handful of hair in one hand. He then viciously pushes his thumb into Alyssa’s eye, digging his nail in, causing Alyssa to cry out loud before he spins her around and slams her face off the turnbuckle.
Eric Mark: This is insanity. Alyssa Lee’s getting absolutely destroyed in there!
Alex Horn: And Twilight Rayn is STILL looking like someone hit him with a truck!
Eric Mark: Something’s obviously wrong with him. I think he really may be hurt in there.
Weener looks to Twilight Rayn and immediately goes to him, kneeling at his side and checking to see if he’s alright. He touches his face and then shakes him, watching as he suddenly comes to. In the meantime, the crowd looks on in absolute amazement as Hallow Wicked stalks over Alyssa Lee who rests against the corner turnbuckle. Wicked charges forward and lunges delivering a massive shoulder into Alyssa’s chest. Wicked doesn’t allow Alyssa to fall to the mat as he simply lifts her to the top turnbuckle and explodes with a right hand that has Alyssa almost out on her feet. Wicked backs up a step and as if he hears something turns around instinctively in time to see Twilight Rayn. Wicked ducks in the nick of time, but in the process he manages to springboard Rayn up in the air. In the air Rayn manages to shift his weight and send Alyssa to the outside of the ring with a dropkick. Rayn manages in the process to catch himself and he springboards back up to the top rope. Wicked runs forward and manages to drop Rayn testicles first on the top rope. Wicked uncharacteristically begins to climb the turnbuckle and he shoves Rayn’s legs between his legs and grabs hold of Rayn’s waist.
Eric Mark: This doesn’t look good for Twilight Rayn!
Wicked looks towards the crowd and pulls Rayn backwards as he leaps backward delivering a vicious second rope piledriver.
Rayn lies flat on his back, twitching, eyes rolling in the back of his head. The horrified look on Weener’s face shows just what sort of damage may have been done to him. Weener covers his open mouth with his hands. But his glare turns evil once again as his eyes focus on Hallow Wicked, who has now climbed back to his feet. He drops his hands at his sides and then points in Wicked’s direction, muttering something that can only be heard by him. In a matter of seconds he is stalking across the ring. When Alyssa is back on her feet! She heads straight for Wicked and nails him with a dropkick to the back! Wicked smashes into Weener and sends him flying out of the ring, crashing loudly onto the floor outside! Now he lies just as motionless as Twilight Rayn!
Eric Mark: OH MY GOD! WICKED JUST ACIDENTALLY TOOK OUT WEENER!
Alex Horn: Son of a bitch! There’s no ref! What the hell?!
Wicked quickly shakes the move off and looks outside of the ring at the unconscious ref with an unreadable expression. Alyssa Lee suddenly grabs him by the shoulder and spins him around, looking to go for a punch straight to the face, but Wicked doges it just in time and looks to finish Alyssa off, But Alyssa dodges his finisher and drops Wicked with a kick in the jewels, followed by a deadly spinning heel kick. Wicked is down on the mat, Rayn makes a run at Alyssa, but he pays for it with a power clothesline from the Fatal Attraction! Alyssa grabs the legs of Wicked and locks in the Key of Love (sharpshooter) but at the same time Wicked in covering Rayn…
Eric Mark: There is no REF!
Carmine Korver suddenly makes his way from the back and runs down to the ring! Wicked is taping out but is still covering Rayn, Carmine makes the cover! As Weener calls for the tap out victory
ONE…
TWO…
THREE!!!
The bell rings! It’s over!
Eric Mark: What the hell just happened? Who won?
Alex Horn: Beats me.
Carmine and Weener talk in the center of the ring as Alyssa looks to be celebrating, Wicked leans against the ropes. Carmine and Weener walk over to Samantha and whisper there decision into her ear
Samantha: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winnerS…And Moving on to the Psycho Circus Death Match…HALLOW WICKED…and ALYSSA LEE!!!
Eric Mark: There both going to Season Beatings to fight for the WU Championship!
Alex Horn: Guess it’s the right call, Wicked was tapping and covering.
Fuck the Pain Away comes on the speakers, which means one thing and one thing only. Peaches is coming down to ringside to address the Japanese fans. He come from behind the curtains, carrying the Ari Chase cut out from last week. He carries it down to the ring and throws it under the ropes into the ring. He then climbs the stairs and gets in the ring. He picks up the microphone that is waiting for him in the corner.
“HI GUYS!”
The gay pride cheers him while the straights boo him.
“Guys, I have a problem right now. See, I sent out a challenge to Ari Chase for Season Beatings, and he denied me! Little old me!”
The crowd boos.
“So, tonight, I am seeking answers from Mr. Chase.”
He stands up the cut out.
“So, Mr. Chase, first off, why won’t you face me in the ring?”
A voice is heard from the speakers. You can tell that it is Peaches voice, just disguised a little bit.
Ari: “Well, Mr. Peaches, I am afraid that I will like it.”
Peaches: “Like what?”
Ari: “Like the way you touch me in the ring.”
Peaches: “Mr. Chase, we are on live TV.”
Ari: “Well, it is true. I have struggled with my sexuality for years.”
Peaches: “It is ok to be afraid Mr. Chase. It really is. I was afraid too.”
Ari: “Really?”
Peaches: “Why yes I was.”
Ari: “The second reason is because I know that you will spank me like a two year old and embarrass me in front of everyone.”
Peaches: “Oh come on now Mr. Chase. Are you really that afraid of losing to a gay man?”
Ari: “Yes, I am.”
The crowd laughs at Ari.
Peaches: “Oh come on now guys. Take it easy on him. This is tough to talk about.”
Ari: “There is also another reason.”
Peaches: “And what reason is that?”
Ari: “I find you extremely attractive, and I am afraid that I will let my libido get in the way of our match.”
Peaches giggles.
Peaches: “Understandable Mr. Chase. So, I will make a deal with you. If you fight me at Seasons Beatings, I will..”
He leans in and whispers in the cut outs ear.
Ari: “REALLY? You’ll do that for me?”
Peaches shakes his head yes.
Ari: “I will think it over.”
Peaches: “Well, take you time, because this is my last offer.”
Peaches music hits and he picks the cut out up and carries it to the back.
Scaffold Match
One Shot Championship
CJ Gates © vs. Chad Vargas
Samantha: The Following is a Scaffold match and it is for the One Shot Championship. Introducing first the challenger…CHAD VARGAS
The scene opens up to a jam-packed WU arena. Many signs can be seen being held up by allot of the fans in attendance. All of a sudden Kid Rock’s “Cowboy” blasts over Wrestling Unplugged's P.A. system as Chad F’N Vargas emerges from the darkness behind the curtain. The crowd boos immediately at the sight of Vargas. Dressed ready to wrestle, he's wearing his yellow and purple wrestling tights, and a black "King Cobra - World Tour" muscle shirt. He’s topped off with his signature purple tinted Ray bans. In his left hand, he clutches his personalized acoustic guitar. Vargas struts down the aisle mouthing obscenities to the crowd the entire way. He finally reaches the steal steps, and slowly climbs up them and into the ring. He climbs up onto each of the four turnbuckles, raising his arms and guitar high in the air. He climbs down after a few minutes and pyros blast off around him off of all four turnbuckle tops as soon as his feet hit the mat. He takes off his shirt and flexes his muscles for the crowd, as they boo louder. Vargas smirks arrogantly as he sets his guitar down, arrogantly awaiting his opponent
Samantha: And now your Champion, He lives by the motto ‘Go Big or Go Home’ give it up for CJ GATES!
The lights dim down as "Shooting Star" by Black Stone Cherry begins to play throughout the arena. After a few moments, C.J. Gates steps out from the back wearing his wrestling attire, custom "GO BIG OR GO HOME" T-Shirt, black cowboy hat, with the WU One Shot championship around his waist. He is followed by Vincent James, who is standing tall. Gates rushes out to the top of the ramp and pauses, looking out over the ground, bopping his head to the beat, before he begins to make his way down the ramp and to the ring, with James following. Gates climbs up the steel steps and enters between the top and middle ropes - making sure not to knock off his hat. He bounces around the ring a few times before settling down and removing his hat and t-shirt, getting ready for action.
Eric Mark: Both these men are high flyers and risk takers. That won’t help them once they are 15 feet in the air.
Chad starts to climb one side of the scaffold as Gates slowly makes his way up the other. They both reach the top and stand slowly looking around at the crowd and how far the fall was before turning their attention to each other. They approach each other carefully , neither wanting to be the one to make a mistake. Gates looks up at Chad and then goes right after Chad’s knee with a kick. Chad hops backwards a bit on one leg and then drops to his knees as Gates moves in. Gates starts to nail Chad with forearm shoots but Chad answers back with a chop across the chest that sends Gates backwards,. CJ falls down but manages to stay on the scaffold as he stares at Chad in shock. Chad slowly gets to his feet and moves in nailing Gates with a knee as he tries to get up. Gates falls to his back but quickly turns over to his hands and knees to avoid being kicked off.
Eric Mark: Smart move by Gates. You don’t want to find yourself on your back.
Chad drops to his knees and starts to nail Gates in the back with climbing blows. Gate’s legs begin to hang off the scaffold and Chad begins slamming CJ’s head onto the scaffold. It almost looks as though Gates was going to lose his grip but manages to get his legs back on the scaffold. Gates rakes Chad’s eyes and Chad starts to back up trying his best to stay on the scaffold while clearing his eyes out so he could see. Gates slowly crawls toward Chad and gets up on his knees. He begins nailing Chad with forearm shots and then slams the back of Chad’s head against one of the metal parts of the scaffold. Chad holds the back of his head and Gates tries to shove him over and off of the scaffold. Chad struggles to not go over the side and catches Gates with his own rake of the eyes.
Eric Mark: Anything goes when you are up there fighting for your survival.
Alex Horn: There goes my idea of a DQ victory
Gates screams out in pain but is smart enough to roll over on his stomach, Chad crawls over and straddles Gate’s back. He pulls back on Gates’s head and begins nailing him with forearm shots before slamming his face into the scaffold. Chad gets to his feet and then stands with all his weight on CJ’s head. Gates screams out in pain but manages to turn and grab one of Chad’s legs. Chad falls forward and CJ holds on to his leg and starts to get up. He lifts Chad’s leg up and slamming it into the scaffolding and Chad now yells out in pain. Gates does it again and Chad clutches his knee in pain. Gates steps over Chad and walks to the edge of the scaffolding. He turns and takes a few steps toward Chad and kicks him in the head and Chad rolls with half his body hanging off the scaffolding.
Eric Mark: Chad Vargas can barely stand and CJ Gates could possibly have a separated shoulder.
Alex Horn: This one may come down to who has a body part they can still move.
CJ Gates begins to nail Chad in the face with forearm shots forcing Chad further of the scaffolding. Chad manages to wrap one of his arms around Gates’ leg causing him to fall to his back and then manages to get his feet back on to the scaffolding. Chad manage to get to his hands and knees and begins nailing CJ with punches. He grabs CJ by the head and slams the back of his head into the metal scaffolding and then tries to roll CJ off of the scaffold. CJ now hangs off the side and was fighting with everything he has not to fall as Chad gets to his feet. Chad kicks CJ in the head and CJ slips off and screams out as he almost fell but manages to grip the scaffold with both hands.
Eric Mark: We may be seeing the beginning of the end for CJ Gates here. That’s the last place you want to be in this match.
Alex Horn: I don’t know about that. The last place you’d want to be is falling and missing the ring. Talk about a career ender.
Chad stands over CJ as he struggles trying to pull himself up. He stomps on CJ’s hand and you hear CJ scream out in pain and let go only to quickly grab hold of the scaffolding again. Chad drops to his knees and begins prying CJ’s fingers lose but CJ manages to grab part of the metal bar frame under the scaffold. He begins making his way toward the steps used to climb to the scaffold and pull himself up. Chad is right there to meet CJ and goes to kick CJ. Gates manages to land a forearm shot to Chad’s knee and Chad stumbles backwards, almost falling off the scaffold before dropping to his knees as CJ makes his way fully back to the scaffold.
Eric Mark: That was a close one. This match was almost over.
CJ begins to kick Chad’s leg repeatedly as Chad yells out in pain. CJ drops a knee right to Chad’s knee causing Chad to scream out in Pain. Chad begin to scoot back on the scaffold trying his best to avoid the knee strikes from CJ. Chad continues to back up and CJ kicks him in the chest. Chad ends up hanging upside down off of the scaffolding but has his leg hooked around one of the metal bars to keep from Falling. As he hangs upside down. CJ begins to work over Chad’s knee with kicks and punches and then tries to free the leg so Chad would fall. Chad yells out in tremendous pain but manages to kick CJ right in the nose with his free leg. CJ falls backwards and almost off of the scaffold with blood pouring from his nose as Chad struggles to pull himself upright and free his leg.
Alex Horn: That shot from Chad Vargas may have broken CJ’s nose.
Eric Mark: But look at the Damage to Chad. He can’t even stand on his leg.
Alex Horn: This match is anyone’s to take now. Someone’s gonna take a long fall.
Chad crawls over and sticks his fingers up CJ’s bloody nose and looks as though he’s trying to rip it away from CJ’s face. Gates screams out in pain but manages to grabs Chad’s head and slam him face first into the scaffolding. CJ’s quickly tries to roll Chad off the scaffolding but Chad hangs on to CJ’s body almost taking him with him. CJ holds on to the Scaffolding but is pain as he has to Support Chad’s weight as well. The crowd gets to their feet as Chad hangs onto CJ and finally grabs hold under the scaffold platform. Chad begins kicking CJ in the stomach trying to get him to let go. CJ almost falls but manages to grab hold of Chad’s waist , forcing Chad to support both their weight as the crowd goes completely silent.
Eric Mark: Chad struggling to support his weight and CJ’s.
Alex Horn: The question is what happens if both wrestlers fall to the mat. Who is declared the winner here.
Eric Mark: You have to called a draw then and Gates keeps his title.
CJ starts to pull himself up Chad’s body forcing him to use all his strength just to keep hold of the scaffold. Chad tries his best to shake CJ loose but CJ manages to grab the under of the scaffolding so that he is hanging as well. CJ swings and kicks Chad in the midsection but Chad fires back with a kick of his own. Chad moves closer to CJ and head butts him in the nose. CJ lets go with one hand and yells out in pain but quickly manages to grab the scaffolding again and kicks Chad in the stomach. You see a pained expression on Chad face as he fires another Head butt right into the nose of CJ Gates. You can see CJ begin to struggle to hold on but one look down and he grabs the scaffolding harder.
Alex Horn: Someone’s gonna take a long fall here.
Eric Mark: It may come down to who can just hang on the longest
CJ swings his body and Catches Chad with both feet to the chest. He does it again and then warps his legs around Chad, using all his strength to try and force Chad to let go. Chad shows amazing strength as he grabs CJ by the head and head butts him hard into the nose and mouth while holding in with one hand. CJ yells out in pain and lets go of Chad with his legs as Chad grab on to the scaffold with both hands again. CJ is now bleeding from the mouth as well as the nose but refuses to let go as he kicks at Chad’s knee. CJ manages to land a kick directly to the knee and Chad yells out in pain. Chad kicks CJ right back but CJ swings and brings his knees up, nailing Chad in the head with both knees causing Chad to almost fall.
Alex Horn: What a shot by CJ Gates. Chad was rocked by that one and may be losing his grip.
Eric Mark: It’s even amazing that Chad Vargas held on after that shot.
Alex Horn: You do what you have to when there is a 15 foot fall beneath you.
Chad seeming CJ is bit shaken up tries to nail him with both knees in the face again but CJ manages to lift his leg up catching Chad right in the midsection. Chad gets the wind knocked out of him and one hand slips off. The crowd all get to their feet as Chad struggles trying to grab the scaffold with his free hand . CJ moves in and nails Chad with a head but of his own then swings and spears Chad spears Chad! Sending Both men crashing down to the matt!
Samantha: Here is your winner Chad Varga---
Ari Chase makes his way down the ramp and whispers into the air of Samantha, before grabbing the mic
Ari Chase: What the hell is wrong with you people. CJ Gates SPEARED Chad off of the scaffold, making him the winner! This is clearly why Unplugged needs to be censor!
Eric Evans steps out on to the stage
Eric Evans: Would you just shut the fuck up! No one cares about your censor bullshit! I’ve sat in the back and listened to you preach and moan for the last two weeks, but I’ll be damn if your going to just hand a championship victory over to your little personal Ass wiper. They way I see it, they both went off the scaffold at the same time. Making this here match end in a draw.
Ari Chase: The hell is does, I demand Replay!
Eric Evans: This isn’t the NFL Dick. The match ends the way we all saw it, and next week Right here on Parental Advisory it will be CJ Gates vs. Chad Vargas vs. Luther Savage for the One Shot championship, and if you don’t like that, The I advise you to take the week off, polish your bible, anything but be in the way of interfering in matches.
Alex Horn: Bout time someone shut that fucker up.
Eric Mark: What a Main event for next week Lex!
Alex Horn: Indeed.
The scene fades in on Porter, walking down the WU hallway. Porter turns and goes into the Superstars cafeteria area. He goes in and he sees someone dressed up as Santa sitting in the corner and Jenny Harris sitting on his lap. Porter goes over to where the Santa is sitting and just stars at him.
Porter: What in hell, lad.”
Santa: “HOHOHO! MERRY CHIRSTMAS PORTER! Come sit on Santa’s lap.”
Jenny Harris gets up.
Harris: “Do it Porter and he’ll give you what you want.”
Porter: “I am not going to for two reasons. One is, well, I don’t believe in that fictitious bullshit. Second reason is…”
Eric Evans storms into the room.
Evans: “WHO IN THE FUCK LEFT THIS STOCKING FULL OF SEX TOYS IN MY OFFICE!? Did you do this Mac? THIS IS BULLSHIT!”
Porter turns around and faces his friend. Porter is trying not to laugh.
Porter: “I didn’t do E.”
Santa picks up a long plastic cane, and extends it towards Porter’s kilt. He lifts up the kilt and looks underneath. Porter feels his skirt being lifted.
Porter: “What the fuck lad?”
He turns around. Santa drops the candy cane and tries to act casual, but Porter isn’t buying it.
Porter: “Was you just looking at my ars boyo?”
Santa says hoho in a gay voice.
Santa: “HOHOHo…….”
He then realizes the voice he is using, and quickly changes it to a deep voice.
Santa: “I mean, HOHOHOHOHO!”
Evans and Porter look at each other. Evans reaches over and pulls the beard off of Santa while Porter pulls the hat off. They both see that it is Peaches.
Evans: “YOU COCK SUCKING HOMO!”
Porter: “Why doesn’t that surprise me?”
Evans: “You creepy little bastard. Did you leave this shit in my office?”
Peaches: “Well, lets think about this for a second Eric with an open mind. I was thinking a long dinner, and get a couple of shots of Crown in you and then you and I go back to the hotel and we….”
Double E cuts Peaches off.
Double E: And we cut off your shit stained cock if you come within ONE FUCKIN FOOT of me, you fuckin' fairy faggot cock goblin”
Porter laughs.
Peaches: “Why would you want another sex toy? I already gave you a stocking full.”
Evans takes the stocking full of sex toys and hits Peaches right across the face with it. He then tries to do further damage with his fists, but Porter steps between the two.
Porter: “Lad. Lad, calm down. I don’t have the money to bail you out for murder.”
Evans: “I’LL LOAN IT TO YOU! JUST LET ME GO!”
Peaches somehow finds a way between the two men, and runs out of the room. The scene fades.
Samantha: It is time for are main event of the night!
The crowed gives Sam some love
Samantha: Introducing first…Give it up for CRIMSON SKULL!!!
A child’s voice is heard singing this line.
“A tisket, a tasket, the scarecrow’s out his casket.
Turn out the lights and lock the door, praying that he passes”
It pauses for a moment and then a green lightning bolt hits the entrance ramp out of nowhere. The music starts.
“A vision of the dead in the inbred backwoods, mother fucker born inside a tool shed, Momma never loved me never paid me no attention.”
At this time Skull emerges from the backstage area, walking with his scythe in hand.
“Daddy was a rapist, thirty years upstate Fulton County Prison. And I was raised by my own will, surviving off of scraps and bones, bear traps and road kill. Spending my days and my nights all alone, and my mind is gone, there’s something wrong with my dome. They should have put me in the tomb, I didn’t ask for this life, when they cut me out the womb with a dull pocket knife. Now I walk with a scythe and a murderous ability, a corn-fed mother fucker filled with hostility.”
At this time he stands at the ringside, looking to the fans for a moment. He places the scythe against the ring post and begins up the steps.
“Cracked out and I’m gone off that moonshine, 180 proof wine, made from a musk a dime. Out in these corn fields, learning all these reaper skills. Swinging, slicing, chopping, dicing, country boy born to kill.”
He enters the ropes and straightens out the sleeves of his trench coat, pulling it off, sleeve by sleeve.
“A demon spawn, the child of a bastard son, Seven born at seven and the seventh child fathered one. Soul black, full of pain. Bodies in the field, blood pouring like rain. A demon spawn, the child of a bastard son, Seven born at seven and the seventh child fathered one. Soul black, full of pain. Bodies in the field, blood pouring like rain.”
Once he has removed his trench coat, he slowly takes off his hat. The music goes on and fades away as Skull slowly raises his arms high above his head. He looks up, to the heavens apparently and then slowly brings his arms back down. Once he does this he points to a ring post and a lightning bolt strikes it. He does this to the next ring post, the next one, and the next one, until all the ring posts have been struck by the lightning. Once this is done, he throws his arms up quickly, sending all four posts up in a green flame.
Samantha: And introducing next….JINX!!!
We were running though the town
Our senses had been drowned
No place we hadn't been before
We learned to live and then
Our freedom came to an end
We have to break down this wall
Too young to live a lie
Look into my eyes
The Words 'Deadly Jokes are Funny' flashes across the screen, followed by quick flashes of Jinx's face, it begins to speed up every time, then finally is explodes spilling blood all over the screen, followed by a ton of clips of Jinx in action as will as some very disturbing shots of him being himself.
Ready, set, go it's time to run
The sky is changing we are one
Together we can make it while the world is crashing down
Don't you turn around
The Lights begin to fade As the dim lighting remains three spotlights slam down over the entrance ramp almost in unison.
We are looking back again
On loneliness and pain
Never been so wide awake
Breathe slowly in and out
somewhere beyond the clouds
I can see the morning break
Too young to live a lie
Look into my eyes
One after the other the spotlights illuminate the entrance way as a figure appears to vanish through the lights right as they begin to shine. Finally a spot light snaps down on the center of the ring illuminating a dark figure covered in a large purple cloak down on his knees reaching to the heavens.
Leave it all behind you now
The final wall is breaking down
We are all it's all about
Nothing can stop us now
I promise you right know
I never let you down
The Camera gets a close look and we see Jinx
Samantha: And finally…give it up for the WU Champion…REQUIEM!!!
The arena lights slowly fade from full light, to dead darkness. Nothing at all can be seen, minus the dancing cigarette lighters in the crowed from the anticipating fans. After but a moment, a distorted voice is heard over the loudspeakers, repeating the following cryptic tongued message.
Nad nehw draeh fo eht noitcerruser fo eht daed, emos dekcom. Rrehto dias; Ew lliw raeh eeht niaga no siht rettam.
A massive explosion follows the tongued sermon as the words to Boondox - Torn Possession kick in. Flames begin to dance upon the stage and the entrance ramp, and the same mysterious fog pours in.
I can hear the devil callin but I can't find a way.
I can feel myself fallin but I can't find my way.
Angels in my ear tellin me don't 'let go.'
Demons in my ear tellin me to LET GO!
When I'm fightin for my soul and they both want control.
The fog fades as the chorus ends. Requiem can now been seen, towering on center stage.
I'm surrounded by the dark become a stranger to the light.
Put all my hopes into the fact that everything will be alright.
But as I sit here crippled nervous in a state of shock.
Times become my enemy I'm staring at a broken clock.
And every hour on the hour some thing strange is taking place.
Apparitions on the wall voices and my soul is raped.
I can't explain it am I burnin' in that fire pit?
Has the devil come to claim what's his for all the times I needed shit?
Requiem, with his head down and his long, grey streaked black hair in his eyes slowly walks from center stage onto the ramp through the fog and the dancing flames.
I tried sleeping but still I could feel it creepin.
Call off the deacon bloods leakin right from the ceilin.
I hear the rain fallin tappin on my window sill.
Shadows crawling babies crying make it all seem surreal.
And what's that tickin in my head.
I know for sure that I ain't dead.
If that's the case then why the fuck am I still sittin in my bed.
I'm tryna scream but no sounds so I'm reachin for the phone.
I need to call some one right now to tell me what's goin on.
Upon the finishing of the last sentence, Requiem comes to the end of the ramp. The view flies by, going left to right to catch the full view of the fog, the flames, and Requiem standing at a standstill.
I can hear the devil callin but I can't find a way.
I can feel myself fallin but I can't find my way.
Angels in my ear tellin me don't 'let go.'
Demons in my ear tellin me to LET GO!
When I'm fightin for my soul and they both want control.
Requiem now turns quickly towards the ring steps. His long, black trench coat flaps from the rapid movement. He makes his way up the steps.
Seven days and nights go by and I ain't seen the fuckin sun.
Layin here surrounded by a priest some crosses and a nun.
Speakin in a foreign language but I seem to understand.
Crucifix is burnin flesh right when they placed it in my hand.
Holy water feels like torture fallin on my head.
Demons whisper in my ear don't worry son your almost dead.
Moms cryin daddies packin pictures flyin on the wall.
I can hear my grandma talk in tounges some where down the hall
Once up the steps, Requiem wastes little time stepping over the ropes into the ring. He twirls around, showing his coat flap in the rapid wind once more. He slowly takes off his coat.
Next thing I noticed I'm wakin up I'm in an empty room.
Some what unfamiliar was I sleepin in an empty tomb.
And then a light from up above.
I heard a voice filled with love.
A lady dressed all in white I didn't who she was.
And I can't explain the calm.
After the shock pain in my arm.
All I know is I feel warm and I don't care what's goin on.
The Sorrow walks his coat to his corner, and drapes it across the top rope. Without a hurry, he turns back towards the better side of the ring, and awaits.
Weener stands in the ring now with the three competitors circling him. At the first sign of the bell the three of them rash in the middle of the ring. Fists fly every which way until finally, Requiem and Wicked are left standing. The two of them gang up on Jinx, stomping away at him with no mercy as he writhes on the mat below, trying his best to escape the double attack to no avail. The both pull him to his feet and send him sailing across the ring. As Jinx returns both Req and Skull nail him with a double clothesline that nearly takes his head off. As Jinx goes down, the two continue to batter him as Skull lifts him up and throws him into a full nelson, exposing him vulnerably and allowing Req to unleash painful knife edge chops to his chest. As Skull releases him, Req then hits him with an atomic drop.
Alex Horn: Damn! Poor Jinx!
Eric Mark: He’s getting hammered in there already.
Alex Horn: I don’t know what’s up with this dude. He used to be good.
Req steps away form the scene and watches as Skull lifts Jinx to his feet. Skull immediately begins laying the forearms to Jinx’s head, backing him up into the far corner where he then hits him with a massive boot to the sternum. The powerful Skull then slaps a had around Jinx’s throat, looking as though he is about to go for a choke slam, but instead just holds Jinx’s there, clutching his neck in his hand, seemingly trying to crush the poor man’s throat in the process until Weener finally forces him to break the chokehold. With a shake of his head Crimson Skull then shoots Jinx clear across the ring where he runs into an impressive Big Boot from Requiem!
Eric Mark: And Requiem with the Big Boot to Jinx!
Alex Horn: You would think this was a damn handicap match, though. Both of them are really taking it to Jinx.
With Jinx down, Req soon goes for the pin.
ONE…
TWO…
Crimson Skull rushes over and drags Req off of Jinx, stopping the three count before it has a chance to happen. Req’s head jerks up and he glares at him with a snarl. He suddenly leaps to his feet and takes off in Skull’s direction, obviously intending a spear, but he quickly counters the move and lifts Requiem high into the air, bringing him right back down onto the mat with a vicious powerbomb. The crowd roars at the move as Skull stands above Requiem, circling him and basically daring him to get up. The apparent team work they had going on against Jinx has obviously melted away as he grabs a handful of Requiem’s hair and hauls him to his feet. The much small competitor flails, trying his best to get out of his grasp. He then slaps his arms around her for a belly-to-belly supplex but Requiem surprises him with an eye gouge that causes Skull to release him and stumble back. He then immediately follows up with a dropkick as he tries to bring the big man down to the mat. However, Skull only stumbles a bit more. Req jumps up and goes for another dropkick, this time managing to back Skull up into the ropes. Now with this small opportunity Req heads for the corner and then runs full speed ahead, grabbing Skull by the hair and driving his face into the canvas with a bulldog. He then immediately covers him.
ONE…
TWO…
KICKOUT!!!
Crimson Skull nearly sends Requeim ten feet in the air as he tosses him off of him!
Alex Horn: Dayum! Requiem was doing pretty good there!
Req lies in the corner of the ring trying to regroup as both Skull and Jinx make it to their feet. As soon as Skull spots Jinx he immediately runs over him and smashes him in the face with his boot, knocking the unsuspecting Jinx out cold. Eric Evans paces the ring outside, cheering on Requiem as he also begins making his way to his feet. He slowly stalks towards Crimson Skull, hoping to catch him off guard but he immediately spins around as soon as he meets him. Req quickly ducks a clothesline attempt, coming out on the other side of him. As he spins around this time Req nails him with a face buster. Receiving the desired affect on the monstrous man but nowhere near putting him away, Req immediately picks up Skull and drops him with a Pump Handle slam. This time, he hooks his leg in another attempt to end it.
ONE…
TWO…
TH…
NO!!! Skull kicks out once again!
Alex Horn: Goddamn!
Eric Mark: Skull refuses to stay down.
Req slaps the mat in frustration. He then hops back to his feet and bounces off the second and crashes down on Skull with a leg drop but just as he does so Skull raises his knees in which Req lands right across. He immediately drops to the mat, clutching his thigh in pain. The agony is etched all over his face as he rolls around the ring while Skull lifts himself up. Once again, he stalks towards Req and yanks him to his feet by the hair. He has somewhat of a grin on his face as he looks at him and shakes his head. After a slight pause, he then punishes him with a reverse DDT that flattens him in mere seconds. Eric Evans demands for Req to get up as soon as he hits the mat and Skull shoots him a look. He then drops to the mat as well, going for an elevated armbar but the much Req manages to slip out of his grasps. Skull doesn’t let it bother him though, instead standing to his feet as he begins to devastate him with stomp after stomp, wearing Req down with a boot that has to be much worse than any he’s ever encountered, undeniably dominating him in the process. Once again, Skull lifts Req to his feet. Still clutching a hand full of hair, he jams his finger into Req‘s mandible.
Alex Horn: See what I meant? Game over right here.
Eric Mark: You might be right, Lex
Alex Horn: HELLHOUND SLAM!!!
Crimson Skull signals to a totally insane crowd with the vulnerable Requiem‘s mandible, but suddenly Requiem surprises him with a kick to the midsection of Crimson Skull, Requiem doesn’t lose a step as he whips Skull off the ropes and delivers the EULOGY!
Alex Horn: OH! DAMN!!!
Eric Mark: He reversed it! Requiem Reversed!
Requiem doesn’t take the cover instead he looks at Jinx who is on his feet. The two look at each other as Requiem steps aside and motions to Jinx to make the cover as Requiem rolls out the ring and heads to the back, Jinx shakes his head as he quickly covers Skull, hooking his leg!!!
ONE…
TWO…
THREE!!!
Samantha: Here is your winner…JINX!!!
Alex Horn: Requiem just handed Jinx the spot at Season Beatings!
Eric Mark: A sign of friendship?
Alex Horn: Whatever it is, Jinx is going to Season Beatings!
Eric Mark: Will that’s it for this weeks Parental Advisory, Happy holidays to all, and we’ll see you next week!
Alex Horn: Screw all that PC crap, and tell everyone to have a MERRY CHRISTMAS!
The scene quickly goes to static. It comes back on to show Jayson Burrows, sitting behind his desk. It is a hidden camera. This has to be two weeks ago. You can tell by the shitty quality of the picture. He picks up the remote control to his television and turns it off.
Jayson Burrows: Another successful show.
He gets up and goes to the door that leads out of his office. Once he gets there, The door is slung open, hitting Burrows in the face. He stumbles back and knocks over the little hidden camera that was sitting on his desk. You can no longer see the Burrows, or the person who slung the door open.
Burrows: Who in the Hell are you? Did child support put you up to this?
Stranger, with is voice disguised.
Stranger: SHUT UP!
Burrows: Son of a bitch!
The scene then goes back to static. It comes back up in a black room where the only light is shining straight down on a tied up Jayson Burrows. He has dried out blood on his head. His mouth is taped shut.
The disguised voice is heard again.
Voice: He is not dead….. Yet!
The camera that is focused on Burrows drops down to where it is looking at the ground. You hear Burrows moaning as it goes to static again.
The WU logo appears.
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