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“Cody? What are you doing?” she asked, barely awake. “Carmen baby, Jalie was up all night, talking seth, to I stayed up with her.” Cody said, smiling a little. “I made you some breakfast.” “Oh, you shouldn't have.” Carmen replied as she got up on her elbow and wiped the sleep from her eye. “French toast. How did you...” “You told me once.” “And you remembered?” Cody smiled, “of course I did.” “Well, you didn't have to...” “Yes, I did. You deserve it after all the shit that has happened. My shoulder, the match… But anyway, Jalie is gone for a while… I let her have my truck so she could go mudding. I have to wash the thing anyway.” “Cody...” Cody stood up and smiled, leaning down and kissing her on the forehead. “I love you.” “I love you too.” “I hope I can make everything up to you.” “Keep doing this and you might make it up to me a lot faster.” Carmen said with sarcasm in her voice. She leaned over and started eating as Cody left the room and went back downstairs. He cleaned up the kitchen and got the mail by the time Carmen had come downstairs. He smiled at her and flopped on the couch where he had been sleeping the night before and opened an envelope. He read the letter, snorted, then tossed it aside. Carmen walked into the living room and smiled at Cody. He looked at her in awe, as she was wearing nothing but his old Vancouver Canucks jersey. “I hope you don't mind me wearing this...” she said with a smirk. “N-n-no.” Cody uttered. “Okay, good. I’m going to have a shower. ” “Okay.” Carmen bit her bottom lip and looked at Cody, leaning up against the wall. “The puppy is sleeping, Jalie isn‘t here. Jay is off somewhere… seth is… Well… You want to come?” Cody nodded and smiled, running off upstairs shower as Cody chased after here. He caught her at the top and tackled her down she rolled on top of him and kissed him. “Promise me one thing.” Cody said. “What?” “We won’t become and boring couple.” Carmen kissed him and the two started to make out. They finally broke apart. “Cody, with you, nothing is boring.” Cody leaned up and kissed her. She pushed herself off of him and walked toward the shower. She closed the door and Cody rolled onto his stomach. The water started and the door opened just enough to see Carmen’s head. “Come on.” Cody pushed himself up and walked to the bathroom. The phone rang. Cody mow in a pair of blue jeans ‘Kiss my ass’ T Shirt picked it up. “Hello?” He answered. “Cody, man, where the fuck are you?” “Stryker?” “Yeah, numb-nuts.” “My nuts are fully active. Anyway, what the fuck do you want?" Cody asked, fearing for the worst. “The press conference.” “What!?” Cody yelled. “Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you that I signed you and Carmen up for this thing.” “You‘re the load your mom should‘ve swallowed, you know that right?” “Just get down here, fast.” Cody hung up and slammed the phone down and the scene faded out. We reopened in a room filled with men and women separated on opposite sides and two podiums on a small platform. Cody Carson and Carmen Dumas are pushed out onto the stage, Cody shook his head and flipped off Jimmy. Jimmy just smiled at him. “Cody, do you think it is tougher being a man then a woman?” A woman screamed. “I've never been a woman so I really can't say.” Cody replied with a smirk. The same woman screamed out, “but men don't have to go through birth, or sex with a control freak.” “Jesus, what kind of press thingy is this.” Cody retorted. “The differences between men and women.” A stage hand said loud enough for them to hear. Cody nodded to him and started. “Well, lady, do you know how tough it is being a man...? If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist.” Cody took a deep breath. “If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy. If you work too hard there is never any time for her. If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum. If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your ass and find something better. If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favouritism. If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity. If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment. If you keep quiet, it's male indifference. If you cry, you're a wimp. If you don't, you're an insensitive bastard.” Cody stopped to think for a minute then continued “If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman. If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination. If she asks you, it's a favour. If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you're pervert. If you don't, you're gay. If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're sexist. If you don't, you're unromantic. If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain. If you don't, you're a slob. If you buy her flowers, you're after something. If you don't, you're not thoughtful. If you're proud of your achievements, you're full of yourself. If you don't, you're not ambitious. If she has a headache, she's tired. If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.” Cody looked over at Carmen who is giving him the “eye”. He smiled and continued. “If you want it too often, you're oversexed. If you don't, there must be someone else. NO WONDER MEN DIE BEFORE WOMEN! THEY WANT TO!” This caused the men to break into cheers as Cody chugged some water. The women looked on in shame, knowing that ninety percent of what he said is true. Carmen stepped up as the same woman that asked Cody the question started questioning Carmen. “Statistics prove that men become smarter during sex, do you know why?” “Because they’re plugged into a genius.” Carmen said with a grin. That even made Cody smile. The woman was trying to being serious, but Carmen obviously wasn‘t. “Carmen, do you know why God put men on this earth?” “The vibrator can't mow the lawn.” Cody busted into laughs, falling on the podium and looking as though he was about to piss himself. The woman gave Carmen a stern look, but Carmen just smiled. The ladies and the men in the crowd were getting a kick out it all. “I don't know who made these questions up, but the next one is... What do electric trains and breasts have in common?” “They are intended for children, but men end up playing with them.” Carmen replied, looking over the crowd as they laughed. “Okay then, why do men snore when they are on their backs?” “Because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor-lock.” With that, everyone started laughing. “Miss Dumas, that was not an appropriate answer.” “I call them as I see them.” Carmen replied. “Anyway, the final question. Why is a mans viral yellow and his sperm white? Who the fuck made these up?” “The answer to the first question is so that he knows if he's cumming or going. And as for your second, I have no clue. And I couldn’t care less.” Suddenly a brawl started up, just like a firecracker. Everyone started to fight Carmen and Cody smile and walked toward each other. Cody put an arm around her and the two looked out at the men and women fighting. “God, I hope our kids are like this.” Cody said. “The day wouldn‘t be boring, that’s for sure.” Carmen replied. Stryker comes storming out onto the stage and walks right up to Carson. “I helped you, and I ask you to do one thing serious and you fuck it up.” Cody frowned “He‘s right.” Cody walked over to the mic and tapped it. “STOP!” he yelled. Everyone stopped and looked at him. “Why do you fight each other. Jimmy Stryker put this thing on, If anything you should beat his ass.” Carson points to Jimmy and everyone storms the stage Carmen runs to Cody the the two sneak out the back.
Match talk Vanity. The quality or condition of being vain, or in other words, self-pride and worth. Value is what it’s about. Taking pride in your work and accomplishments, among other things. It’s the right to be cruel and unusual. The right to be conceited and self centred. The right to care about nothing but yourself. In all of my life, one word couldn’t describe so much. It couldn’t mean so much that it actually makes me stop and think. For one second, the word Vanity just sends a chill down my spine. For one moment, I taste a sweet breath of air. For one simple heartbeat, I realize what it’s all about, and then I wake up. Vanity. It’s not for the weak hearted. You’ve got to be a real man to live that kind of a life. In no way, does the act of being vain, constitute the rights to be a complete moron, but more importantly, a complete jackass. That’s who I am, and what I am all about. I am a vain person. A cold hearted selfish son of a bitch who wants nothing but to be the best. That’s who I am, and that’s who I want to be. It’s always been that way. Even since I was a lonely little boy. I’ve always pondered that thought. But, along with being the best, comes the reward. The most thought of and most respected items of them all. A title. Much like the word Vanity, it sends shivers down my spine. A Title is everything that a wrestler could hope for and dream of. A Title is the one special accomplishment that dubs you to be the best. It’s every wrestler’s one true goal. I guess being the best doesn’t always guarantee you everything in life. Why? Who knows why? The only the question that remains, which is the only question that matters, is the question of when. When will I win the big one? Today? Tomorrow? Next Tuesday? You’ll never know. I’m not going to prove anything to anyone but myself, this Sunday. I know what I’ve got to do really. Lightning. Sooner or later, after it’s all said and done, I’ll be standing in victory. Shall it be this Friday? We’ll see. They say that good things come to those who want it most. Well in that case, I guess I deserve to be a champion. I think it’s a plausible case. I live for this business. Everyday, I work, sweat and bleed for this business. I stop at nothing to become better and better, because I feel the need to do so. Nothing completes me better then to step in that ring face to face with an opponent, and battle it out for sweet victory. Few men get the kind of opportunities that I get, but few men take advantage of that fact. I’ve been given the opportunity more than once to deliver my sense of superiority, wisdom and greatness to this very business, and I have failed before. Well, I’m not going to fail this time. This time, I will make my presence in that ring known. I will deliver my best work, to the best of my ability. Balls out to the very end. Should I walk out of Vanity, my hopes and dreams will finally come to reality. If not, then I will never rest until my deed is done. Fear me, for I am “The Extreme One” It all started in this very place. Back to the dungeon where I trained to become a superstar, just six years ago. Back where it all began. I took my first bump in that very ring. I received my worst bruises in that very ring. I fought some of the best matches in that very ring. Not only that, but I succeeded from that very ring. To be honest, though, I don't know why I even mentioned the whole "if I lose" scenario. I mean, look at these two. Sure, Simon has more experience then HG, I hope. But only here in AWA. As far as wrestling as a whole, hell, as far as he knows, we're equal. He can proclaim himself the best cruiserweight in the company but right now I'm not buying it. Sure, maybe he was at one point in time. But now…We're just supposed to take his word for it. Honestly man, what do you have to show for yourself? That you were a former Continental champion? Oh, that's right. Longest reigning. Fact still remains that you don't have that title now. And if you want me to believe you're some superstar lightweight, then fucking prove it. I see you don't like me. I'm cocky, arrogant, all that charming stuff. But do you really think I give a fuck what you think of me? I don't. Actually, I hope you hate me. Just justifies my assaulting you on Showdowm. Otherwise… Damn, I might have to feel guilty. And yes, I do realize I'm coming off as a cocky motherfucker. But guess what bitches? That's the point. Because I am a cocky motherfucker. With good reason. You see, while some people talk the shit and don’t back it up, I talk the shit and back it up twofold. Go ahead, call me a drunk, call me a bum, call me a piece of trash. There’s nothing that will bother me. Because I have heard it all before. Now, you might expect me to sit back and wait for you to make the first move. And I really should, but I’m pretty confident that I can kick your ass. Even on YOUR best damn day… You’re not even in MY league. You think you’re the Franchise, the big dog, the man. Well guess what… REALITY CHECK mother fucker. Your are nothing but a piece of shit with a fucking title on his shoulder. I mean come on. You have beat pathetic losers and fucking idiots in this fed. The scum of the jobber world. One more rung on the ladder to top in the sport? Then you get someone like me who comes flying off the turnbuckle to kick the fucking ladder over, right Simon? The boss of Gave you the x title shot right? He gave it to you. You didn’t have to earn it, it was given to you. But I wonder if you know why he gave it to you? You see, He gave you the X TITLE shot instead of the CONTINENTAL TITLE because YOU SUCK! Your nothing but a washed up champion who is trying to make a climb to the top. Your like a regular Hulk Hogan, every time you get put down and shown up you try to pull your asses from the ashes and fight back up. Face it, YOU ARE A FUCKING LOSER! Ha, jealous of you? Jealous of you? What the hell is there to be jealous of? I’m three time the man you are in and out of the ring. I don’t reply on people like the fans. I don’t give a shit about anything any more. You… You get up in the morning look in the mirror and tell yourself “I Am a better man…. I am the better man… Mirror mirror on the wall, who‘s the better, talented and the man the oozes sexuality… Me or Carson. ” And ever morning you see my face. Your nothing to me, and you could never have want I have. I know I know, you have the X title… You know what, You can stick the X title up your ass. Luck, that is imposable. You know why… Because Luck in mental you fucking idiot. Someone who makes a miraculous thing happen isn’t lucky man, you are just that fucking good. And you want to know why I’m sticking my nose in your business… Ha, that is a question that… I think everyone else has figured out… But seeing as you’re a dumbest motherfucker in the back, I kind thought you wouldn’t get it. So let me enlighten you. You see dumbass, it isn’t because I’m Attached to you… Its not because I like pulling your strings, although that is fun…. Its because you claim to be the best… But when faced with a challenge you turn out to be a little fucking school girl. You see, you haven’t ever been tested by the likes of me… and it bugs you that I beat you. Me, A rookie beat you Sensation. Its pisses you right off every time you see me, to the point of exploding. You know that you can’t beat me and you hate the feeling. So you put up this shield of lie after lie, telling more yourself then anyone else, that I’m a fluke, that I’m no good. But you know deep down that every time you see me, the “sensation” that I laid upon you grows. You know that all the shit you talk and all the people you beat will never take that away… Not until you beat me. And even if you beat me some way… Its still going to be there. Your going to ask yourself… Am I a fluke or is he? And when that happens… The sensation that you where will die and melt away and I WILL RULE YOU! Thing? THING? Carmen a thing? Ha Ha Ha. Man your going to make me piss my pants. You fucking hilarious. Just because you, what ever the fuck she is to you won’t put out for ya, doesn’t mean Carmen doesn’t for me. And Jesus man, what are you talking about ten cents. She won’t settle for a penny less then eleven. Some of you fucking idiots might think I’m serious… I’m not. Simon you still don’t know what to expect from you fucking imbecile. Just shut up and learn from your mistakes… And your mistake is opening your mouth. So you’re a mountain dew drinker eh? That lowers your sperm count… Ahh It doesn’t matter anymore. Poor Guy hasn’t seen action in what…Twenty Years. Hell‘s Guardian, I know you have talent, and I’m sorry that you have to team with something like that. But Look at it, Sensation beat your brother… I tried to help him. Really I did, but he get in my way… so he got hit to. At first I thought it was one of Sensation’s goons. Nah, I’m shittin you man, I bent the motherfucking chair over your brothers head just for shits and giggles. But you do what you have been… Keep your mouth shut you stupid some of a bitch. And I hope you and you dumb ass Brother burn in hell. I mean its not like you guys have a fucking career. Nat, I’m cool wit you. But if you fuck with me… Well, you get the picture… But now, I’m tired and my throat if dry… So peace out and keep the rye comin.
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