Monday.August.13.2007
5:19 pm
Home.Depot
Cody Carson’s black truck is parked in a scorching hot parking lot. The heat can be seen coming off the road in little waves. The parking lot is full and people are all walking into the one, the only home depot. But why, you may ask yourself, is Cody Carson here? Surely Carmen doesn’t trust me enough to get pencil, let alone a saw. We venture inside and find the RWA star. Cody was slowly walking with a kart. As we walked up the aisles he looked a little lost. He made his way to the gardening section and was suddenly assaulted by sales person. “Hello, how can I help you today?”
“I was…” Cody started but the man suddenly interrupted him.
“We have a great deal on out hoses. They are only five for fifty dollars regular eleven dollars a piece.” The sales person looked at Cody and smiled a cheesy smile.
“What the fuck would I need…” Cody started and yet again was interrupted.
“And our hoes on sale as well. Three for twenty five dollars.” By this time cody was getting annoyed.
“Can I see your riding lawn mowers please?” Cody asked. He shook his head as the young man never shut up.
“Oh yes you may, they are right around this corner sure.” Suddenly as they go around the corner you hear a couple of smacks, and BAM BOOM and BANG pop up on the screen in bright yellow and pick letters surrounded by a green or blue jagged edge explosion. Suddenly a man riding on a black riding lawn mower comes around the corner. It is obviously Cody Carson. He stops the mower and Jumps onto the seat striking a poise as a mysterious wind comes from know where and makes is black pants that are not tied around his neck flap in the wind. His boxers and pulled a little to tight and his black shirt has been taken off. This is now wrapped around his head with two eye holes and two pieces of wood glued to the top in little horns. His skin is covered in black paint and he smiles. He drops backs down on riding lawn mower and starts it up. He punches the gas and flies at a great seem of two miles per hour around the corner and after a customer.
“How can I help you citizen?” Cody said in a really deep voice.
“Freak much?” The man said shaking his head at Cody.
Cody reached into the back of his boxers and pulled out a thing of white glue. He smiled at the camera and the scene quickly spun out and back in. The man was now glued to the floor and had his penis and testicular reign nailed to a board. Cody smiled down at him. “That will teach you to respect you‘re super hero’s.” Cody turned and jumps onto the riding mower. “To the Carson mobile.” He zoomed off and smashed into another man. He started to hum the batman theme. “Nanananananana CODY MAN CODY MAN.” Sudden out of no where the store manage appeared. CodyMan, thinking quickly grabbed a bungee cord off the nearby rack and hooked it on a ceiling fan, spinning himself in midair and flying back at the manager, landing with both feet in the mans chest. The riding mower ran over the man at the second and shredded the mans pants, shirt and beard, Cody jumped and landing back onto the mower. He gave it all the gas he could and was around the corner in about five minutes. Suddenly, a younger man tackled him off of the mower and cody was suddenly tied to a pole. “You have the wrong man.” Codyman pleaded.
“Oh really.” The Manager, still in shredded clothes said. “Prepare to die, Codyman.”
“Who are you?” Cody Man asked, all the while working his hand into his boxers and pulling out the leaf blower.
“Who am I?” The manager said. “I am the manager.”
“AHHHH!” Codyman yelled and suddenly turned on the leaf blower, the shear force made one of the men trip and untie him. Cody quickly grabbed a bungee cord and sprung onto a shelf, suddenly all the lights went out. Cody jumped down onto one of the men and the flashes of bam and boom came up again. The man was in the corner with two shiners and a bloodily lip. Suddenly a man jumped out. “Holy galactic gum balls…” Cody paused. “That’s a robin line. Shit….” Cody sprang up over the man and grabbed a hung of wood, shaped like a boomerang. He flung it at the man and caught him in the back of the head. The boomerang flew back at Cody who, in the darkness got it square in the face. “I bet that always happened to bat man.” Cody reassured himself and he got up.
Around the corner a man another man pop out and grabbed Cody from behind. Bam Boom and he was free. The manager came out and tried to grab him but Cody blocked and tossed him up into the air. The man got hooked onto the ceiling fan and started to spin. Suddenly the spotlight hit Cody and he poised. “Never fear, Carson‘s here….” Cut to the batman theme.
Miss Black, I only call you that because I can’t fucking pronounce your first name. I’m sorry that I was trying to give you complements you conceded bitch. How dare I give a person win an ounce of talent a fucking complement. Do you really think I give two shits if you are using Shawn Walsh and Tony B. No. Why the fuck would I? I was warning you to watch your fucking back. I guess that’s to much for the great Lucretia Black right? Well fuck you.
You know what the funny thing is Black, you fucking miscarried. The lover told the whole fucking world. I’m not even sure you had a fucking child, as you said you got testicles for a reason. So how the hell did you get pregnant. You and king fucking is just out of the Question, I‘m pretty sure he has a dick. I mean hell maybe he is in to chicks with dicks you fucking freak. You and your husband, boyfriend, what ever the fuck he is to you, are two sick fucks. Are you sure you miscarried or did king get the sudden urge of cannibalism again. Did he eat your baby? Are you just to ashamed to tell the world. I know I know, I’m a fucking asshole and I can go to hell, this coming from a woman who would have let her husband eat her baby.
I understand that you don’t need anyone, I understand that SC was built on rivalry. Do you really think I give a fuck? No. You know what… Your fucked. Fuck off. To many people die now adays for you to ever care about your child’s death.
So many people in this world today. So many men and woman dieing for no good reason other then a drug deal gone bad. Who cares any more? They bring this shit on themselves. You may think I’m a cold Hearted prick but if you had a chose between them dieing and you and you kids living one more day, what would you do? Really, No one would or should sacrifice themselves for the worthless garbage of the street.
Some say live life as life lets you live. I say, choose your life. Don’t sit back and let is choose its own path. Guide it to where you want it. Don’t hold back do what you think is right, not what someone tells you. Look at America, it went over to Iraq, not because it was right but because they where thirsty for blood. They watched their people die and for what? Nothing at all. I may be the only Canadian who thinks they did the right thing. People have to ask themselves what they would have done? Wouldn’t you want blood?
See, it’s the same thing with life, fighting, love, pain and wrestling. In life, if someone ends another life, someone close to you, you want blood. You go after them like nothing has any more meaning. In love, if someone hurts you, you want to hurt them back. So you go out and find the cheapest slut you can and prance her around like she is queen, rub it in the others face. Fighting and pain mix, if you get hit, you hit back pain causes that and fighting causes pain. In Wrestling, if you lose, you want revenge, if you win, you boast about how you won. So many people do it, yet none can back it up… Until now.
I don’t say something I can’t back up, I boast about being the next Universal champion because I can. I am soon to be top dog around here, this is my RWA and no one can stop me. Yet people seem to think that all their dream, all their hopes, everything they want will come true by beating me. Beating me just makes you look like a fluke. So no matter what you do nothing will come to you because of it. Your all fucking worthless and you all hate me because I’m not afraid to say it. Truth hurts eh?
You all judge me because you think you know the man I am, or the man I use to be. I’m a better fucking person now then I have ever been. No one in their right mind can stand up to me without getting knocked down. Nathan Gust, Shawn Walsh, Amy Jo, anyone if you want me, well, you not fucking good enough to have me. You all should be shot for thinking you can match up to someone like me. Then theirs Lucretia Black.
Lucretia, I’ve been ignoring you, you’re a worthless piece of skin that can’t wrestler. When you lose to me on reloaded you will sink back into your little fucking shit hole you call a life and once again become the bitch of the ‘family.’ You see Black theirs a thing called talent, you don’t got it. Your having this secret love affair with yourself and you fucking know you like it, Hell, I’m beginning to believe the baby wasn’t Kings. Maybe it was Shawn Walsh’s that’s why you punched yourself in the stomach to miscarry. I see now, you had to hide the fuck fare with Shawn. Its ok, You’re secret is safe with me. You stupid bitch.
As far as you hurting my Carmen, you must have a fucking death wish. Do you not know who her sister is? You think you are sadistic, you think you are hardcore? You got nothing on Jalie Dumas-Thomas. The shit that she does when you fuck with her family makes everything you have ever done in your life seem worthless. Then again everything you have ever done in your life is worthless. You honestly think I’m sacred of you? Jesus Christ you really do think you’re something good around here, don’t you? Maybe my complements went to your head.
But then again, what happens if I lose? Will IT be the end of Cody Carson as he is?
Ha.
What the hell am I talking about if I lose? I’m un-fucking-stoppable. I’m a king bitch. Bow to me and like the dog shit off my shoe. So I can boot you in the face and make you feel privileged to even be in my presence. Fuck this, I don’t even know way I’m talking anymore, you’re a waste of fucking skin any way, and even on you best fucking day, your still not in my league. So vete a la mierda perra. Mother fucker.