DT: Folks up next we’ve got Suicide vs. Rob Sampson. There’s been a lot of speculation as to what’s really going on with Sampson right now.

MN: Go ‘head Davey… let the cat out of the bag.

DT: Folks, this will be Rob Sampson’s final match in Empire Pro Wrestling… as he has decided it is now time to hang up the boots. That’s right folks… I’m sorry to inform you that Mr. Main Event is indeed retiring from our good sport of professional wrestling, and this will be one of his last shows.

MN: AWWWWW. Boo frickity hoo.

DT: Show a little class, Mike…

MN: Hey, you think he’s throwin’ a goodbye party?

DT: Normally people don’t do that for THEMSELVES, Mike.

MN: Well why the hell not, I would…

[Cue Up: “Biggest and the Best” Clawfinger. Sampson enters.]

DT: Mike, Sampson’s been relatively silent this past week, and there have been some rumors floating around that Rob’s been trying to duck the mysterious Suicide.

MN: I know I’d be scared. This Suicide guy freaks me out. I mean, nobody’s even seen his face!

DT: Well, Suicide’s about to come on out, so lets go to the ring.

[Cue Up: “” Tool. The lights go to black as the song begins. As the lights come up, Suicide, clad in a long white trenchcoat and fedora, walks calmly to the match. As always, a white mask adorned with the black “Suicide” symbol covers his entire head. He slides under the ropes and stares intently at Sampson, adjusting his fingerless gloves. The two competitors are about to get into things when “Everyday People” by Pearl Jam cues up. Out from the back comes Paul Freeman, walking straight to the ring with purpose. Both Sampson and Suicide eye him up suspiciously.]

DT: What’s Paul Freeman doing out here?

MN: I have no idea Dave… what the hell do I look like, a crystal ball?

[Freeman calls for a mic and it is promptly given to him.]

PF: Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize for stalling this competition, but there’s one important thing I’d like to say. Rob Sampson…

[The fans cheer for Sampson’s name. Some chants of “please don’t go” start up.]

PF: You’ve given your blood, sweat, and tears to this business… and there is absolutely no man out there who could replace you on the Empire Pro roster. Your dedication to this sport, your love for the ring, for the fans, it can’t be ignored. I am simply here to say what’s on everyone’s mind, Rob….

[The fans are cheering wildly.]

PF: Thank you.

[Freeman extends a hand, shaking Sampson’s. The fans pop huge and everyone in the building starts to clap. That is… all except for Suicide. Freeman exits the ring and walks to the back, asking that the bell be rung for the matchup to begin. Sampson salutes the crowd…]

SFX: Bell rings

MN: And here we go in this quarterfinal contest!

[Suicide and Sampson size each other up and final come together in the middle of the ring with a collar and elbow tie up. Sampson attempts to duck under Suicide’s arm, but the mysterious veteran counters with a vicious back elbow to Mr. Main Event’s nose. Very quickly, Suicide hooks Sampson and sends him flying with a belly-to-belly release suplex!]

DT: Big suplex by Suicide, and I’ve gotta say he’s definitely got the early advantage in this matchup.

MN: Leaving the analyzing to me, Davey, that’s what their paying me the fabulous cash to do. You just sit there and be boring.

DT: I hate you.

MN: Just call the match burger-boy.

[Suicide stalks over a stunned Sampson and lifts him up by one arm. He applies a wristlock and attempts to twist Rob’s arm with a standing armbar, but Sampson rolls through and hits Suicide with a spinning heel kick.]

DT: Great veteran move by Sampson to roll out of that armbar and knock Suicide to the ground. Suicide now quickly to his feet-

MN:-He always does that! This guy doesn’t feel any fu-

DT: FAMILY SHOW, NEELY!!!

MN:-fungal growth!!!

DT: Sampson now trying to take the fight to Suicide. He charges, but Suicide leapfrogs! Sampson off the ropes and he absolutely LEVELS Suicide with a vicious lariat!!! Suicide up again, but Sampson has him quickly with a picture perfect standing dropkick!

MN: May be the reason Sampson didn’t say anything this week is because he was, I dunno…PRACTICING???

DT: Maybe, Neely, maybe. Sampson now with the advantage as he hoists Suicide to his feet. Irish whip into the corner, and Rob charges. He’s going for the corner splash.

[As Rob attempts the splash, Suicide vaults himself over Sampson’s head, and Rob hits nothing but turnbuckle!!]

MN: OOOOHHHHH!! That splash was in the KIDDIE POOL!

DT: Nice analogy. Suicide now wailing away on the stunned Sampson with a series of lefts and rights, but Rob isn’t going down! Big right hook by Sampson, but there’s nobody home!!! Sampson brings him into fireman’s carry position….VICIOUS MICHINOKU SUICIDEDRIVER!!!! 

MN: Goodnight, Robby!

DT: Suicide with the cover…ONE…TWO…THR-NOOOO!!!! Sampson kicked out at two and seven eighths!!!

MN: How do you announcers always no the exact time when guys kick out?

DT: We don’t. It just sounds dramatic.

MN: Oh. Alright. 

DT: Suicide now goes right back to work. Irish whip in to the ropes, and Suicide NAILS Rob Sampson with that patented spinning back knuckle punch!!!

MN: Did he really patent it?

DT[Thinking]: Yes, I believe he did, Mike. Suicide now bounces off the ropes and drives his head into Sampson’s chest with a diving headbutt!!! Pin again … ONE … TWO … SAMPSON GETS A FOOT ON THE ROPES!!!! Rob Sampson simply will not go down!!!

MN: Calm down, Thomas. We’re only a couple of minutes in. Jeez, you play-by-play guys.

[Suicide pulls Sampson up, but Mr. Main Event blocks him with a shoulderblock to the stomach. He bounces off the ropes and hits the doubled-over Suicide with the Shining Wizard.]

DT: Shining Wizard!!! You know what that means, Neely!

MN: You’ll shut up now?

DT: No, The HEADLINER!!! Sampson hoists him up, has him in position…SUICIDE SLIDES DOWN SAMPSON’S BACK AND HITS A NECKBREAKER!!!

MN: Man, everything Rob does, Suicide has an answer for.

DT: That he does, Mike. Suicide seems to have Rob Sampson scouted perfectly after the Triangle Match these two were involved in last week. Sampson gets to his feet once more, but Suicide meets him with a vicious Phantom Kick. He just damn near took Rob Sampson’s head of!!!!

MN: Man, that would REALLY hurt!

DT: What would?

MN: Getting your head taken off, moron! 

DT: Somebody make him stop. I beg of you. Please.

MN: Heheheheh.

[Meanwhile, Suicide has clamped Sampson into a Japanese Armbar. The referee comes over to see if Rob wants to submit, but he fervently shakes his head in the classic “No” gesture. Sampson crawls towards the ropes, but Suicide yanks violently at his right arm and brings Sampson back to the center of the ring.]

DT: Suicide’s got that armbar locked in real tight, and if Rob Sampson can’t find a way out of this hold, he’ll find himself saddled with not only a loss, but a dislocated shoulder as well.

MN: You know, Davey, even though I’ve seen very little of Suicide, I gotta say that injuring Rob Sampson is probably his main intention. This guy’s friggin’ vicious!

[Sampson again tries to make his way to the ropes, but this time, when Suicide pulls back, Sampson uses his own weight against him and brings him to the ground with an amateur style takedown.]

DT: Looks like Rob Sampson may have finally figured out the enigma that is Suicide. He stands over Suicide, and drops a knee right across his chest! Sampson off the ropes, looking for a legdrop, but Suicide alertly rolls out of the way!!!

MN: The mystery is apparently still unsolved! Call us if you have any information about the unsolved mystery of wrestling legend Suicide!

DT: Suicide is now back in control off this match. He sends Sampson into the ropes, and nails him with a big flying forearm smash!!! He hooks Sampson up, and brings him crashing to the mat with a double underhook Suicidedriver!!! He brings him up again, and drops Sampson on his neck once more with a Tombstone Suicidedriver! He’s looking to break Rob Sampson’s neck, for Chrissakes!!!

MN: Like I said earlier, not surprised at all. This one might be over.

DT: Apparently Suicide doesn’t think so, as he’s gonna look for YET ANOTHER SUICIDERIVER!!! He hooks him again, but this time Sampson nails Suicide with a low blow!!! Rob Sampson refuses to let Suicide keep him down!!! He locks in a front chinlock on Suicide, and he drives him to the mat with an Implant DDT!!! Cover by Sampson … ONE … TWO … THRE-NOOOO!!!! Suicide kicks out just in time!!!

MN: Definitely not enough to beat Suicide.

DT: Rob Sampson is digging into all the reserves he has tonight, folks. He’s been hit with three monstrous Suicidedrivers, but he still won’t go down for the three count. However, that neck has got to be in a world of pain right now. 

MN: Eh. I’ve seen worse.

DT: Sampson now brings Suicide to his feet. Irish whip into the ropes…SHOW STOPPER!!!! Terrific Superkick by Rob Sampson!!! He sets Suicide up…HEADLINER!!! INVERTED DEATH VALLEY DRIVER!!! THIS HAS GOT TO DO IT!!!

MN: I wouldn’t be so sure, Thomas. Suicide’s already up!!!

DT: Holy s(FCC)t!!! Nobody ever gets up from the Headliner, and Suicide just popped up like he was bouncing on a trampoline!!! I’ve never seen ANYTHING like the way this man absorbs pain!!! I am in SHOCK!!!

MN: You ain’t the only one. Rob’s kinda freaking out too.

DT: Rob Sampson can’t believe anyone got up that quickly from his finisher!!! Sampson turns around, and Suicide is waiting for him!!! PHANTOM KI-NOOO!!! Sampson rolled under it! Suicide spins around … SHOW STOPPER REDUX!!!! He hit him out of nowhere with that kick!!! Sampson goes quickly to the top, and I think he wants to end this!!! He’s gonna try for a moonsault!!

MN: Davey, I don’t think Rob’s going to hit much.

DT: Why’s that?

MN: Because, if you would stop marking out, you would realize that Suicide is standing RIGHT BEHIND HIM!!!

DT: OHMIGOD!!! I thought that Show Stopper had knocked Suicide out cold!!! He’s standing on that second rope right behind Rob Sampson!!! Sampson has no idea what’s going on!!!

MN: He does now, Suicide’s just nailed him in the back with a knife edged chop!

DT: Suicide has Sampson up in Torture Rack position. Tell me he’s not gonna do this, Neely!!

MN: OH HELL YES HE IS!!! He’s gonna kill Rob Sampson right here and now!

DT: He sets him up… BURNING HAMMER!!!!! BURNING HAMMER FROM THE SECOND ROPE!!!! ROB SAMPSON’S NECK MUST BE BROKEN, AND THIS MANIAC SUICIDE IS RESPONSIBLE!!!! He pins, but it’s all elementary, as Sampson’s unconscious! Here’s the count …1…2…3!!! Suicide moves on to the semifinals, but the greater concern has to be Rob Sampson’s neck. Folks, the EMTs are coming out to check on Rob Sampson, but Suicide is most certainly not concerned!

MN: I’ll say, because he just left the ring without even having his hand raised by the referee.

WINNER: SUICIDE   

[Cut to backstage are where Suicide is just now walking away from his match with Rob Sampson.]

Interviewer:  Suicide, how could you…

[Camera shows Dan Ryan walking into view, obviously leaving for the evening.  Ryan crosses paths with Suicide, and the two stare one another down.]

Ryan:  You put Mayhem in the hospital, having me lose one of my wrestlers on the roster.  Now, you take out Sampson, and I don’t even know if he’ll be coming back.  Give me one good reason why I don’t…

[The crowd starts to chant “bullshit.”  Suicide places a calm hand on Ryan’s chest, as he pulls his mask off his head with the other.  He stares right in Ryan’s face, no emotion showing, as the fans eat it up.]

Suicide:  Let me explain something to you, Mr. Ryan; under no circumstance will you warn me about what I do in that ring.  The last thing on my mind is playing it safe.

[As Ryan starts to speak, Suicide interrupts him.]

Suicide:  Wait a minute… I get it.  You know, I think I get all of this.  Why you are so worried.  Is that fear in your eyes, Mr. Ryan?  Fear for, not everyone else in Empire Pro… but for someone in particular?

Ryan:  What the hell do you mean? I’m…

Suicide:  Yes, I do see it in your eyes. [smirks] No worries, Mr. Ryan, I’ll comply.  Just know this: if it’s my destiny to face them for your little World Title…

[Suicide turns his head and starts chuckling a bit.  He then snaps his head back, his face with a serious expression on it as the fans play into it.]

Suicide:  I’ll have no qualms in going through them.

[Suicide walks away as Ryan and the interviewer follows their gaze at them.  The camera pans to Suicide, who stops short, his head lowered by his eyes looking behind him.]

Suicide:  You can’t stop me, Mr. Ryan.  The only way you’re going to be able to do it … is by yourself… physically.

[The fans start ooooh’ing as Suicide walks out of view.  The camera pans to Dan Ryan, as he has a pissed off look on his face.  He then sheds a menacing smile as he starts laughing lightly to himself.  Ryan turns to the interviewer, handing him an envelope.

Ryan:  Hey, get this to Mr. Freeman ASAP.

Interviewer:  Yes, sir.

[He nods his head and then walks out of the camera’s view.  Cut back to Dave and Mike.]

DT:  I wonder what’s in that little envelope?  You know, I’m also anxious to see what Ryan has to say to Beast about his comments this week…

MN:  Good thing Ryan was on his way out … and no WAY would somebody stop him to tell him what the cool cat said in his little mic spot.

DT:  But what’s this stuff with Suicide?  He’s taken out two members of our active roster already?  What’s next?