[The crowd is COMPLETELY apathetic as Stoltz and Cage initiate a weak tie-up. They jockey for position for a moment or so. Cue up: "Zero" - Smashing Pumpkins, and Cage and Stoltz stop dead as the crowd ROARS. They know what's coming.]
DT: Uh-oh, we all know what that means - and there's the Ego Buster!
MN: He looks PISSED!
[Taking a moment to soak in the roar of the crowd, Ryan strides to the ring, steps between Cage and Stoltz, and grabs the mic from Tony Fatora.]
RYAN: Boys, I've got a problem with you two. You've failed me. When I allowed you two to wrestle here in EPW, I made it clear that I expected you to do your jobs and promote your matches. Yet you haven't done that. Therefore, you're both fired.
[HUGE crowd pop!]
RYAN: Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way. The easy way involves you walking out the door, no questions asked. The hard way involves you NOT walking out the door. The choice is yours.
[The crowd chants "HARD WAY! HARD WAY! HARD WAY!" as Stoltz and Cage stand silent. After a moment, Cage sighs, hanging his head. He slides out of the ring and walks dejectedly to the back.]
DT: Looks like Brien Cage has decided to take the easy way!
MN: Hah! Bet we won't be seeing HIM again.
DT: But what about Stoltz?
[Back in the ring, Stoltz works up his courage and goes face to face with Ryan, though it's obvious that he's this close to pissing himself with terror. Ryan stares back calmly... then smiles like a cat spying a mouse.]
RYAN: The hard way it is.
[Abruptly, Ryan boots Stoltz in the gut as the crowd roars its approval. The Ego Buster slugs Stoltz a few more times, then stuffs him into a standing headscissors, heaving him off the canvas to DRILL him with a brutal Humility Bomb! From there, Ryan presses Stoltz over his head, then borrows a page from the GUNS playbook by pressing the little man from the ring into the third row of the crowd!]
RYAN: Boys, clean up that trash, will ya?
[A "RY-AN! RY-AN!" chant erupts as security guards make their way through the crowd, dragging Stoltz unceremoniously to the back. Cue up: "Zero" - Smashing Pumpkins as the crowd continues to go berserk. Smirking, Ryan steps out of the ring and makes his way to the announce table.]
DT: Well, that's it, folks! Derek Stoltz and Brien Cage are GONE and, uh, it looks like the owner's joining us here at the broadcast position!
MN: What's up, boss? There's an extra headset for ya-
RYAN: I see it, Mike.
DT: Glad to have you at ringside with us, Mr. Ryan, and I see the cutting of dead weight continues!
RYAN: Exactly. That's exactly why I'm down here with you right now. Introduce the next match.
DT: With pleasure. Folks, this next match features a debuting talent going up against a young man who's made quite a splash here in EPW! It's Eric Dane versus one of Empire's most... unique young stars, John Doe!
MN: I tell you, that guy's a maniac! I heard he killed someone!
RYAN: He's a character, but that's why he's under contract. If he can draw fan interest and earn the promotion a few bucks, I'll take him.
DT: Let's go to the ring!
[Pyro and Fireworks go off in the arena as New ERA flashes all over the big screen near the top of the rampway. The arena turns pitch black as the camera catches the fans as they start to look at each other. CUEUP: ‘Sic' by Slipknot over the PA. The big screen flashes between a blurred face and film of a wrestler. Blue pyro fires off at the entrance ramp as the words John Doe flash and shake on the big screen. From behind the curtain, a wrestler walks out on the ramp and "John Doe" makes his way to the ring.]
TONY FATORA: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, weighing in at two hundred and fifteen pounds... The man known as JOOOOOOOOOHN... DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOE!!!
[The arena falls to silence, and Doe heads to his corner, waiting for his opponent to arrive. And there he waits. And waits. And waits.]
[Cut to the ramp as a staff member in a white golf shirt jogs to the ring and whispers something to Tony Fatora, who nods.]
TONY FATORA: Ladies and gentlemen, we regret to inform you that Eric Dane is NOT in the building!
DT: What?!
RYAN: Yeah. The kid took one look at some of the guys in the locker room and ran away scared. I guess some people aren't cut out for big-league competition.
DT: I guess!
MN: Aw, man! But people were expecting a match!
RYAN: Mike, I've got it covered.
[Setting down the headset, Ryan gets up from the broadcast position and heads to the ring, taking the mic from Tony Fatora. He points at John Doe.]
RYAN: John, I don't know you personally, but I DO know that you've been a loyal member of the Empire Pro roster. You've promoted all of your matches to the best of your ability and you've devoted time to improving yourself, which makes you a company man in my eyes. So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to scrap the upcoming match between Cliff Young and Kevin Watson and make it a triple-threat elimination match. If you can pin both Young and Watson, I'll be nice and let YOU tell them they're fired. Deal?
[Ryan holds the mic out to Doe, who nods.]
DOE: Deal.
RYAN: Good man. Fatora, bring out the sheep, will you please?
[Tossing the mic back to Fatora, Ryan turns and strolls back to the booth as Doe stretches in his corner.]