DT: Welcome back, everyone! As promised, it's time for the main event of the evening! 
MN: Oh man, this one's gonna rock the house! Sands is gonna teach Beast some respect tonight, mark my words! 

DT: I think it's the other way around, Mike. Despite his protests, our World's Champion has shown Beast and Lindsay Troy nothing but disrespect, and Beast doesn't like it one bit. 

MN: Yeah, but Sands has Benji at his back! 

DT: And Beast has Cruise. Seems fair to me. 

MN: Only in your mind. It's obvious which team is cooler. 

DT *sigh* Take it away, Tony Fatora. 

TONY FATORA: The following tag-team contest is scheduled for one fall! 

(The haunting strains of "Dark Machine" by Paul Oakenfold cue up, and the lights in the arena go out; the GlobalTron lights up with an image of Christian Sands gazing down from a distance, his face illuminated as if by car headlights through a window. After the first fourteen seconds of the song, a red strobelight kicks in. Smoke machines begin blowing a drifting mist horizontally across the ramp as Christian Sands emerges, striding down the ramp with the mist curling about his feet. He vaults into the ring over the top rope and climbs a turnbuckle, raising the World Title to the booing crowd.) 

TONY FATORA: Introducing first, from Barrie, Ontario, Canada... He weighs in at two hundred and seventy pounds... He is the reigning Heavyweight Champion OF the World... He is CHRRRRRRRISTIAAAAAANNNNNNN... SAAAAAAAAAAANDSSSSSSS!!! 

(Cue up: "Lose Yourself" - Eminem, evoking boos from the fans. "Yours Truly" Adam Benjamin makes his way slowly to the ring. Adam is wearing two English flag bandana's one that cover his head and the other that covers the lower part of his face revealing only his stone cold eyes. Adam makes his way into the ring and stands firm in his corner waiting for the bell to ring.) 

TONY FATORA: Introducing his tag-team partner... He hails from England... He weighs in at two hundred and forty-five pounds and is the reigning Intercontinental Champion... He is ADAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM... BEEEEEEEEEEEEN-JAMIIIIINNNNNNNNNN!!! 

(Cue up: "Headstrong" - Trapt. The crowd pops loudly as Cameron Cruise strides confidently to the ring, trash-talking Sands and Benjamin before playing to the fans.) 

TONY FATORA: And their opponents! First, from Jacksonville, North Carolina... He weighs two hundred and forty-nine pounds... He is CAMEROOOOOOOOOOOONNNNN... CRUUUUUUUUUUUUISE!!! 

(The arena lights fade down to darkness, then slowly come back up in deep blue as the sound of chanting monks fill the arena, and the video screens light up with "BEAST" flashing in different styles and colors of text, mixed in with video clips of Beast executing various moves on his opponents. Immediately, the crowd ERUPTS into a huge ovation. The chanting monks play for about 15 seconds, then fade into Nickelback's "Figure You Out", and as the opening guitar chords hit, a blast of red and white pyro go off around the stage area, then Beast walks through the smoke down the ramp and to the ring. Once in the ring, Beast salutes the roaring fans by touching his fist to his chest over his heart a couple times before raising his hand in the air.) 

TONY FATORA: And finally, from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada! He weighs in at two hundred and ninety pounds... He is accompanied by the Queen of the Ring, the ever-lovely Lindsay Troy... THISSSSSS... ISSSSS... BEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSST!!! 

[SFX: *DINGDINGDING* - Bell rings.] 

DT: There's the bell, and these fans are roaring as we get this match underway! 

MN: Kick their butts, champs! 

[Sands and Cruise start the match. They circle for a moment, then lock up. Sands grabs a hammerlock immediately, wrenching the hold in. Grunting, Cruise goes for an arm wringer reversal, but Sands catches him in mid-move and drops him with a Russian legsweep. The champion spins to his feet and kicks Cruise in the head, then lays his arm across the canvas and drops a pair of knees across the elbow before boosting himself off the mat, delivering a high-angle knee smash to the arm.] 

DT: Sands wasting no time here, going right to work on Cameron Cruise's right arm! 

MN: THE ARRRRRM BREAKERRRRRR!!! WUHA!!! 

DT: Never speak again. 

MN: Sorry, Davey, but I gotta earn my keep. 

[Sands drives another heavy knee into Cruise's arm, evoking a loud yell from the former CSWA Presidential Champion. Taking the exclamation as a sign of success, Sands drops an elbow across Cruise's shoulder before clasping the arm in both hands, leaning back for an armbar with Cruise still lying stomach-first on the mat.] 

DT: Great psychology here from the World's Champion, as he's trying to keep Cruise grounded and hyperextend that arm back. 

MN: He's trying to snap the damn thing backwards, that's what he's doin'! 

[Gritting his teeth, Cruise rolls over to push Sands into a pinning predicament, but the Canadian kicks out at one. Both men come to their feet. Sands throws a punch, but Cruise hammers him back with an axehandle, following with a pair of knife-edged chops that draw woos from the crowd. He pauses after two, shaking out his right arm in an attempt to get the blood flowing again.] 

DT: Cruise chopping away at Sands now, trying to fight back, but you can see that the right arm is starting to get to him. 

[Taking advantage of Cruise's momentary distraction, Sands fires back, slamming Cruise across the chest with a brutal chop. He whips Cruise into an empty corner and tags in Adam Benjamin, who charges in and stuns Cruise with a corner clothesline, then takes him by the arm and drags him to the canvas with an armwringer. The Intercontinental Champion goes to work, stomping away at Cruise's shoulder with big boots.] 

DT: Benjamin in now, and he's targeting that arm of Cruise's! 

MN: When in doubt, go for the soft spot, I always say. 

[Smirking, Benjamin runs to the ropes and comes back with a leaping knee drop towards Cruise's arm, but Cruise quickly rolls out of the way. Benjamin crashes to the canvas on his knees, and Cruise snaps him all the way down with a DDT before rolling to his corner. He makes the tag to Beast, drawing huge pops from the crowd.] 

DT: Oh, Benjamin misses the running knee drop - and HERE COMES BEAST!!! 

MN: Uh-oh! Don't tell me Benjamin's gonna feel the RAAHR! 

[Beast sets himself in a three-point stance as Benjamin regains his footing, then charges and clotheslines the young Englishman nearly out of his boots. With a barked "Git up!", Beast clotheslines Benjamin a second time. A third clothesline sends Benjamin rolling into an empty corner, where Beast proceeds to stomp a mudhole in him.] 

DT: Benjamin's trapped in the corner, and Beast is taking those massive boots to him! He's all fired up! 

MN: That Beast is an animal, plain and simple. Look at his sloping forehead. He's a Neanderthal. 

DT: No he is NOT! Beast is a very intelligent man with a great deal of talent. 

MN: OOGA BOOGA!!! ME RAAHR!!! 

DT: It's all I can do to keep from kicking you. 

[Not wasting a moment, Beast grabs Benjamin by the shoulders and drags him to his feet, delivering a rough elbow smash in the corner. He promptly beels Benjamin back into the center of the ring, then pauses, pointing directly at Sands with a shouted challenge: "You're next!" Sands flips him the bird.] 

DT: What a beel by Beast - and it looks like the tension between Beast and Sands is starting to flare up! 

MN: It's been doing that all month. What planet have YOU been on, bucko? 

[A quick pull from Beast brings Adam Benjamin to his feet. However, the Intercontinental Champion employs one of the most venerable weapon's in the arsenal of every good heel: The thumb to the eyes. The maneuver stuns Beast, allowing Benjamin to take him down with a neckbreaker.] 

DT: Dammit, Benjamin going to the eyes! 

MN: What? Nooooo. He hit Beast in the NOSE with that thumb, David. The NOSE, I say! 

DT: Are you blind, man? He went right to the eyes! 

MN: The nose. 

DT: You're hopeless. 

[Beast comes to his feet, and Benjamin presses his advantage, moving in to stun Beast with a running forearm; however, the big man does not go down. Frowning, Benjamin tries again, but Beast quickly recovers and turns him inside out with a clothesline! Snorting, Beast heads back to his corner, where he makes the tag to Cameron Cruise.] 

DT: Oh, huge clothesline from Beast! The tag made and - where's Cruise going? 

[Upon receiving the tag, Cruise clambers to the top turnbuckle. As Benjamin stumbles to his feet, Beast takes Cruise from the buckle and presses him over his head, then launches him at Benjamin with a crossbody! Cruise hits Benjamin dead-on as the crowd roars!] 

DT: WOW! Missile-launcher crossbody, courtesy of Beast and Cameron Cruise! What teamwork between these two! 

MN: That was funky! 

DT: Cruise covers - One - 

TWO - 

NO, Benjamin kicks out! 

[Before Cruise can react, Benjamin scampers to his corner and tags back to Sands. The World Champion hits the ring and immediately catches Cruise in the chin with a big boot, knocking him to the canvas. Flipping a middle finger to Beast, Sands places a knee on Cruise's chest and starts slugging away. An angered Beast attempts to come in and punish Sands, but the referee restrains him. This allows Sands to cheat a little, as he uses the ref's distraction as an opportunity to choke Cruise against the mat.] 

DT: Dammit ref, look at the cheating! Sands has that illegal chokehold on Cruise and the ref doesn't even see it! 

MN: That's called smart wrestling! 

[The referee turns back to the action, but Sands quickly releases the hold, pulling Cruise to his feet and whipping him into a corner. He charges in for a running shoulder thrust, but Cruise boosts up and over, catching Sands out of the corner with a sunset flip!] 

DT: WAIT A MINUTE!!! SUNSET FLIP BY CRUISE!!! ONE - TWO - KICKOUT BY SANDS!!! 

MN: Whew! That was close! 

[Both men roll to their feet. An angered Sands charges Cruise with a clothesline, but Cam quickly ducks and hooks the arm, taking Sands to the mat with a backslide!] 

DT: CRUISE BACKSLIDES!!! ONE - TWO - KICKOUT!!! 

[Again, both men come to their feet. This time, Sands meets Cruise with a kick to the gut, scooping him up for a suplex, but Cruise floats through and drives a forearm into Sands' back. Grunting, Cruise hoists Sands up and drills him to the canvas with a hard back suplex!] 

DT: Oh! Big back suplex from Cruise, as he's got the champion reeling! 

MN: This can't be happening! I can't watch! 

DT: I don't think Sands can believe it either! 

[The look of surprise and pain on Sands' face says all that needs to be said. He comes to his feet, holding the back of his head with one hand. Immediately, Cruise moves in and snap-suplexes him, floating over into a cover.] 

DT: There's the cover by Cruise! One - TWO - Sands kicks out! 

MN: Tell me when it's over! 

[Cruise has the momentum, and he knows it. He pulls Sands off the canvas and brings him up for another snap suplex, but Sands floats through and drops down behind Cruise, waistlocking him and dropping him on his face with a high-impact German suplex! He hangs on, drilling Cruise with two more Germans in sequence before releasing him.] 

DT: Snap suplex - NO, Sands floats through and scores with those rolling Germans! 

MN: That's more like it! I love the sound of that. Rolling Germans. Whenever I hear that I get visions of fat guys in liederhosen rolling down a hill. 

DT: I knew it. 

MN: Knew what? 

DT: That you had a fetish for fat men in liederhosen. 

MN: I, uh, I mean, uh, DO NOT! 

DT: Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Mike Neely, lover of schnitzel. 

[Grunting, Sands kicks Cruise in the shoulder, then tags over to Adam Benjamin. The IC Champion slips in and slaps a tight cross armbreaker on Cruise. Sands, meanwhile, flips Beast off, again prompting the big man to step in and again prompting the official to chastise him. This allows Benjamin to reach out and rest a hand on the ropes for extra leverage!] 

DT: Dammit, look at the cheating! This shouldn't be allowed! 

MN: It's Beast's own fault! He's distracting the official! Besides, Benjamin's just using the rope for balance. 

DT: He is not- 

MN: Balance. 

DT: Mike- 

MN: Balance. 

DT: *sigh* Folks, Cameron Cruise is in big trouble here, as Adam Benjamin is using the ropes to add illegal leverage to this submission hold! 

[The official finally comes to, spotting Benjamin grabbing the ropes; he calls for the immediate break. Benjamin grudgingly complies, but rolls Cruise over, applying a fujiwara armbar.] 

DT: Now the fujiwara armbar from Benjamin! This hold is tearing apart Cruise's arm and shoulder - wait, where's Sands going? 

[The cameras cut to the floor as Sands drops down off the apron. He circles the ring, coming up behind an unsuspecting Lindsay Troy... and with a huge ****-eating grin, he reaches out and pats her on the bottom. The fans boo, and Troy JUMPS about six feet in the air before turning to slap Sands across the face. He smirks at her and pushes her to the floor roughly.] 

DT: THAT'S DISGUSTING!!! SANDS JUST SEXUALLY ASSAULTED LINDSAY TROY!!! 

MN: YEAH!!! MY DAWG!!! TAP DAT ASS!!! 

DT: And Beast did NOT like that! 

[Seeing what happened, Beast drops off the apron, hatred blazing in his eyes as he glares daggers at Sands. The champion merely smirks as the two enemies stare down to a THUNDEROUS crowd reaction. The reaction becomes even louder as Sands and Beast suddenly start slugging away at each other, hammering each other furiously with big rights and lefts!] 

DT: WE'VE GOT AN ALL-OUT BRAWL ON OUR HANDS!!! SANDS AND BEAST!!! BEAST AND SANDS!!! BEAST IS FURIOUS!!! HE WANTS TO CARVE THAT PAT AND THAT SHOVE OUT OF SANDS' HIDE!!! 

MN: KICK HIS ASS, SANDS!!! 

[In the ring, Benjamin still has the armbar on Cruise, but the attention is on Beast and Sands. The two brawl to the guardrail, and Beast slugs Sands over it, following him over. In a rage, Beast grabs a chair and throws it into Sands' face, knocking the champion to his hands and knees.] 

DT: BEAST JUST SAILED THAT CHAIR INTO SANDS' FACE, AND THE WORLD'S CHAMPION HAS BEEN BUSTED OPEN!!! 

MN: NO!!! THAT'S SICK!!! ARREST HIM!!! DISQUALIFY HIM!!! FIRE HIM!!! THIS CAN'T HAPPEN!!! 

DT: Please! Sands is getting what he deserves for what he did to Lindsay Troy! 

[Wiping blood from his eyes, Sands staggeringly retreats through the crowd. Beast chases him; an irate Troy is close behind. The three quickly vanish through a door into the concession area. Cut back to the ring, where Cruise is fighting out of Benjamin's armbar.] 

DT: Folks, it looks like Beast and Sands have brawled into the backstage area, but we've still got a match going on in the ring! 

MN: And Benji's kicking ass! 

[Cruise fights his way to his feet, elbowing Benjamin in the ribs several times. He quickly executes a go-behind, dropping Benjamin to the mat with a textbook German suplex! From there, Cruise slaps on an intense STF!] 

DT: THE CRUISE CONTROL!!! CRUISE CONTROL LOCKED IN- 

MN: TOO CLOSE TO THE ROPES!!! 

DT: Dammit, Benjamin's got his free hand on the rope! The referee's calling for the break, and Cruise gives it to him! 

[Undaunted, Cruise pulls Benjamin off the canvas, setting him up for the Shipwreck. However, he can't pull Benjamin up; his arm is too numb to lift the Englishman. Benjamin quickly backdrops his way out of the hold. As Cruise staggers to his feet, Benjamin runs the ropes and smashes him in the face with the Shining Wizard!] 

DT: SHINING WIZARD!!! SHINING WIZARD!!! BENJAMIN COVERS!!! 

ONE!!! 

TWO!!! 

THREEEEEE!!! BENJAMIN PINS CAMERON CRUISE!!! 

[SFX: *DINGDINGDING* - Bell rings.] 

TONY FATORA: Here is your winner... CAMEROOOOOOOOOOOON... CRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUISE!!!