MN: What is this, Stipulation Night?
TONY FATORA: The following contest is a Beast's Prey match! Already in the ring... BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST!!!
[The lights dim as the voice of Jamie Madrox booms over the PA and the beats kick in beginning Twiztid's "Where It's Goin Down." A single spot light shining down at the entrance way shows Tyrone Walker walking disinterestedly from behind the curtains and to the edge of the entrance way where he stops to scan the building, taking in the entire view for a moment. As the moment passes he turns his attention back to the ring and begins to casually stride to the ring making sure to take his time before he reaches the ringside area. Taking a few quick steps he leaps from the floor to the ring and hurls himself over the top rope and landing on his feet. Taking a few steps into the ring he shuffles over to the farside corner and leans casually into the turnbuckles as he waits.]
TONY FATORA: And his opponent! He hails from Detroit, Michigan! He weighs in at two hundred and thirty pounds! He is TYRRRRRRROOOOOOONNNNNNNNNE... WAAAAAAALLLLLKEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR!!!
[SFX: *DING* - Bell rings.]
[Immediately, Beast charges across the ring and levels Walker with a spear.]
DT: Beast wasting NO time! HUGE spear right from the get-go!
[Rising slowly, Beast stares down at Walker, who's sprawled on the mat in pain. The big man rolls out of the ring and grabs something from ringside. It appears to be the timekeeper's table. Taking the table in one hand and the ring bell in the other, Beast rolls back into the ring. Calmly, he slams the ring bell into the face of a recovered Walker, who goes down as if he'd been shot.]
DT: OH! Beast just rang Walker's bell!
MN: Hah! What a dingaling!
[Setting the table down, Beast pulls Walker to his feet. He picks Walker up, presents him to the crowd momentarily, and body slams him through the table to a big pop.]
DT: Body slam by Beast, right through the table! Cover - One - Two - Three?!?!
MN: Wha'?! It's over already?!
[SFX: ...nothing yet. The timekeeper slides into the ring and grabs his bell. *DING* - Bell rings.]
TONY FATORA: Here is your winnerrrrrrrr... BEEEEEEEEEEEASSSSSSSSSSSST!!!
DT: I think that has to be the fastest match we've ever seen here in Empire Pro!
MN: Yeah, that's weird. I would've thought Walker'd put up more of a fight.
[As the crowd roars, Beast raises his arms in celebration. However, he is oblivious to what's going on behind him.]
DT: What the-
[From the wreckage of the table, Tyrone Walker rises to his feet, brushing himself off as if nothing had happened. He casually walks over to Beast and brings his foot up, hitting the big man right in the crotch!]
DT: NO! WALKER JUST LOW-BLOWED BEAST FROM BEHIND!!!
MN: HE WAS PLAYING POSSUM!!!
DT: WALKER TURNING BEAST NOW!!! BROKEN ARROW!!! BROKEN ARROW ON BEAST!!! DAMMIT, WALKER JUST LAID OUT THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER!!!
[A smile touches Walker's face as he admires his handiwork. He nudges Beast's prone body with the toe of his boot, then turns and rolls out of the ring to stroll casually to the back.]
DT: What a heinous deed by Tyrone Walker! Not only did he apparently throw the match deliberately, he attacked Beast for absolutely no reason!
MN: What a dick! I just wish the boss'd come out here and humble him a little. With a Humility Bomb.
DT: I concur.
[Cut to the backstage area, where Walker's attack on Beast is being shown in slow-motion on a television monitor. The shot pans over to show Christian Sands watching the monitor, smiling thinly to himself.]
SANDS: Still a dumb oaf...
[He chuckles...]
SANDS: I guess some things never change.
[After watching the footage for a moment longer, Sands finally turns and walks off camera.]
TONY FATORA: Th' following contest is a non-title match! It is scheduled for one fall!
[Cue up: "Lose Yourself" - Eminem. "Yours Truly" Adam Benjamin makes his way slowly to the ring. Adam is wearing two English flag bandana's one that cover his head and the other that covers the lower part of his face revealing only his stone cold eyes. Adam makes his way into the ring and stands firm in his corner waiting for the bell to ring.]
TONY FATORA: Introducing first... He hails from the United Kingdom... He weighs in at two hundred and forty-five pounds... He is the reigning Empire Pro Wrestling IN-tercontinental Championnnn... He issss ADAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMM... BEEEEEEEEEEN-JAMIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNN!!!
[Cue up: "Kashmir" - Led Zeppelin. The crowd erupts as Troy Douglas walks down the ramp, his gaze focused on Benjamin.]
TONY FATORA: And the opponent! He hails from Greensboro, North Carolina! He weighs in at two hundred and sixty pounds! Thissssss isssss TRRRRRROOOOOOOOY... DOOOOOOOOUGLAAAAAAASSSSSSSS!!!
[SFX: *DING* - Bell rings.]
DT: And were under way - OH!
[Immediately, Douglas shoots across the mat and tackles Adam Benjamin to the canvas, catching the Intercontinental Champion by surprise. Benjamin grabs Douglas by the head and forces him to the canvas instictively, trying for a headlock, but Douglas rolls through and grabs a tight armbar. Fighting to his feet, Benjamin flips out of it, but Douglas calmly clotheslines him.]
DT: Douglas off to a hot start here, taking Benjamin down with that big clothesline!
MN: MEGATRON, TERRORIIIIIZE!!! DESTROY THE MAXIMALS!!!
DT: ...Never. Do. That. Again.
[Benjamin quickly regains his footing. Douglas moves in and delivers a few chops, evoking woooooos from the crowd as he forces Benjamin into the corner. To the delight of the fans, Douglas chops away some more. However, Benjamin rakes Douglas' eyes roughly, reversing him into the corner and opening fire with his own hard chops.]
DT: It's like a trip to the woodshed out there! Chops all around!
MN: Big Daddy English is PISSED! He's just choppin' like a maniac!
[After a few more chops, Benjamin slugs Douglas in the face, then drives a few shoulders into the bigger man's gut. He hooks Douglas by the head and snapmares him out of the corner, kicking him in the back of the head. The impact causes Douglas to keel forward, landing on his face.]
DT: Big kick there by Adam Benjamin, as Troy Douglas looks dazed!
MN: If Big Daddy English kicked ME in the head I'd be pretty dazed, too.
[Grabbing Douglas by the hair, Benjamin pulls him to his feet and sets him up in a standing headscissors. He brings Douglas up and over with a crisp snap suplex, taking the wind out of him. As Douglas recovers his breath, Benjamin drags him off the mat and whips him into the ropes, scoring with a running neckbreaker on the way back.]
DT: Douglas off the ropes, right into a neckbreaker by Yours Truly! Benjamin covers! One - TWO - Douglas with the shoulder up!
MN: Neckbusta! Woo!
DT: I thought that joke was played out.
MN: Never.
[Holding the back of his head, Douglas stumbles to his feet. Benjamin promptly sweeps him back to the mat with a driven DDT. The impact of the move spikes Douglas' head into the mat, causing him to actually stand on his head for a moment with his legs twitching in the air. Finally he slumps down, hitting the mat on his face.]
MN: Ouch!
DT: Picture-perfect DDT by Benjamin DRILLS Douglas into the mat!
[Benjamin smiles faintly as he surveys his handiwork. He waits as Douglas comes to his feet, using the turnbuckles to pull himself up. As Douglas stands, Benjamin charges into the corner, but Douglas sidesteps. Benjamin hits the turnbuckles face-first and bounces out of the corner, and Douglas sweeps him off his feet and DRILLS him with a stiff spinebuster!]
DT: Benjamin into the corner - OH! HUGE spinebuster by Douglas!
MN: The Energon is starting to flow!
[As Benjamin wobbles to his feet, Douglas whips him into the ropes, catching him on the rebound with a hard belly-to-belly suplex. Holding his back, Benjamin again stands. Douglas moves in and delivers a few stiff karate strikes, then whips him to the ropes again and brings him up and over with a powerslam, holding on for the pin!]
DT: Powerslam by Douglas! The cover!
One -
TWO -
Benjamin kicks out!
[Douglas resumes his rally immediately. He drops a pair of elbows on Benjamin and covers him again.]
DT: Another cover by Douglas!
One -
TWO -
Kickout by Benjamin, but Douglas again covers!
One -
Kickout! Another cover!
One - Kickout!
MN: What's with all the covers?
DT: Seems Douglas is trying to wear out Benjamin, as all these kickouts take energy!
[Grabbing Benjamin in a waistlock, Douglas heaves him off the canvas and drops him with a big german suplex. Benjamin pops to his feet, staggering around the ring in a daze. This allows Douglas to kill him dead with a huge lariat.]
DT: BIG lariat there by Douglas!
MN: YEEEE-HAWWWW! He's ropin' them cows with that there lariat! Megatron: Metal Cowboy!
DT: Douglas covering!
One -
TWO -
Benjamin with the kickout!
[Pausing for a moment, Douglas ponders his next move. He then picks Benjamin up and lifts him for a vertical suplex. Benjamin floats through and comes up behind Douglas to roll him up.]
DT: Wait! Rollup by Adam Benjamin!
One!
TWO!
Oh, Douglas kicks out of it!
MN: Benjamin popped that out of nowhere!
[Both men come to their feet. Douglas shoots towards Benjamin and throws a clothesline, but Benjamin ducks it and swings himself up into a crucifix, dropping to bring Douglas down into a pinning position!]
DT: CRUCIFIX pin by Benjamin!
One!
TWO!
Douglas fights out of it!
[Again, both men get up. Douglas fires off a kick to the gut and stuns Benjamin. He tries for a powerbomb, but Benjamin rolls through with a sunset flip. Douglas rolls all the way through, but Benjamin shoots forward to clip Douglas' legs. He boosts over Douglas and applies a rear chinlock.]
DT: Benjamin with the chinlock applied on Troy Douglas, trying to wear him down!
MN: ...Chinbusta?
DT: Not really. This hold is cutting off the circulation to Douglas' head, making it that much harder for him to function.
MN: Good old Big Daddy English. He knows his stuff, yo.
DT: Douglas trying to fight out of the hold - trying to make it to his feet!
MN: Benji ain't lettin' him, man!
DT: Benjamin keeping Douglas firmly on the mat! Douglas' arms are in the air, but they're starting to drop!
MN: Down they go!
DT: Douglas is looking limp here!
MN: Limp as a noodle!
DT: Here's referee Pat Jones to check on Douglas! Raises the arm once - Drops!
MN: I think Megatron's out of Energon!
DT: Raises the arm again - Drops twice!
MN: One more and it's over!
DT: Raises the arm again - NO! DOUGLAS KEEPS IT UP!!!
MN: HE'S ALIIIIIIIVE!!!
[Douglas' eyes fly open as the adrenaline begins to flow. He fights his way to his feet and elbows out of the hold, leaving Benjamin stunned. Running the ropes, Douglas comes back with a big clothesline that rocks Yours Truly. As Benjamin comes to his feet with the aid of the ropes, Douglas charges him and delivers another clothesline, sending himself and Benjamin over the ropes to the outside, where they land in a heap!]
DT: This match is spilling to the outside!
MN: BRAWL! BRAWL! BRAWL! BRAWL!
[Both men come to their feet. Benjamin chops Douglas, but gets slugged to his hands and knees for his troubles. With a huff, Douglas picks Benjamin up and drops him ribs-first across the railing!]
DT: OH! Douglas making use of the terrain to pick apart Benjamin here!
MN: I wouldn't wanna hit THAT thing!
[In the ring, referee Pat Jones is beginning his count. As he reaches four, Douglas grabs Benjamin and drops him on the railing a second time. He then goes to whip Benjamin into the ring steps. Benjamin quickly reverses, however, and Douglas is sent back-first into the steel stairs, flipping over them to land in a heap near the announce table! Holding his ribs, Benjamin falls to the floor in pain as well.]
DT: OH! DOUGLAS TASTES STEEL!
MN: But Big Daddy English is down too!
DT: You're right! If neither of these men can get up before the count of ten, they'll be counted out!
[Douglas is the first to his feet, using the railing to pull himself up]
JONES: Eight!... Nine!...
[Hearing the count, Douglas lunges for the ring.]
JONES: ...TEN!
[SFX: *DINGDINGDING* - Bell rings.]
DT: Oh! Benjamin and Douglas both got counted out!
TONY FATORA: Ladies and gentlemen, by virtue of a double count-out, this match has been ruled... A DRAW!!!
DT: What a disappointing ending to a great match, as it looked like Benjamin and Douglas could've gone for a lot longer than it did.
MN: Man, count-outs suck. I want a rematch.
DT: As do I, Mike. Either way, this was nonetheless a great match, and both men really showed themselves to be athletes of the highest caliber.
MN: Even Megatron.
DT: We've got to take one more break, but when we come back, it's the main event! Don't you DARE touch that dial!
[Cut to a commercial for the International House of Strudel.]