TONY FATORA: Ladies and gentlemen the following is a special “Golem Invitational” match!! 

[CUE UP: “Hurt” by Nine Inch Nails. X-Ecutioner and Golem appear on the stage, the former carrying a sledgehammer, the latter a rather large bound folder and a microphone. They make their way to the ring being bombarded by jeers from the crowd, taking their time. They both carefully climb the stairs, X-Ecutioner stepping over the top rope as Golem vaults into the ring over the ropes. They make their way over to the corner, smiling, as they wait for their opponents] 

TONY FATORA: Introducing first, both hailing from Death Valley, weighing in at a combined weight of five hundred and twenty three pounds... GOOOOOOLLLLLLLLEEEEEMMMMMMMM and his partner, the XXXXXXX-EEEEEEEECCCCCCCCUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTIIIOOONNNNEEEEEERRR RRRRR!!!!!! 

DT: These two put in a good showing at Unleashed, unlucky in their pursuit of the tag team titles. But their attack on Storms and Doe in the backstage area was brutal. 

[CUE UP: "The Final Countdown" Europe. As the opening chords of play, the arena goes black. As the introduction of the song continues, the words "A New Time Has Come" flash on the big screen above the ramp. As the words "The Final Countdown" are heard for the first time, an elaborate display of fireworks and lights signal the entrance of Matt Johansson and Bryan Storms. The two slide simultaneously under the bottom rope, stepping right into the faces of their opponents] 

TONY FATORA: And their opponents, weighing in at a combined weight of four hundred and seventy pounds, “The Perfect Ten” Matt Johansson, “The New Icon” Bryan Stoms....THE SEEEEECCCCCCCCOOOOOOOONNNNNNNDDDDDDDDD.........CCC CCCOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIII INNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

DT: Storms had a hellacious match against John Doe at Unleashed, using a shard of glass and threatening to stab Doe’s eyes out, but this could turn just as ugly. 

MN: Looks like Golem’s got something to say... 

Golem: Woah woah woah...easy there, tigers. It seems you guys obviously haven't read the rules, which I have right here, the one and only copy on Golem's Rules for this special "Golem Invitational" match. According to Rule 14-C, 'All participants must enter over the top rope, or else they will be duely disqualified.’ 

MN: What?!?! Ah, come on, we want blood!!! 

[The crowd boo, as Storms and Johansson start swearing. The ref goes over and Golem shows him the rules. The ref shrugs, turning to The Second Coming and mouthing something along the lines of “That’s what it says”] 

DT: An interesting turn of events here... 

Golem: Fortunately.... 

[Suddenly, X-Ecutioner NAILS Johansson in the gut with the sledgehammer, doubling the Canadian up. Storms stands in shock, before making a move to save his partner] 

Golem:... this match is no disqualification 

[Golem attacks Storms with the microphone, knocking him down to the mat. X-Ecutioner stands with the sledgehammer ready, as the ref checks on the fallen team] 

Golem: Now, ref, according to Rule 37-A, 'If participant A is born with the last name Storms and participant B is born with the last name Johansson, or said participants have to any time in their lives acquired these last names in some manner or fashion, said participants, hereafter referred to as Second Coming, must never both be in the ring in the same time, lest that motion be accepted as an immediate submission and surrender of the match.' 

[The ref looks at Golem confused] 

Golem: If they both enter the ring, they lose. 

[Loud boos. Golem hands the rules to the ref to go over. The ref forces Johansson out of the ring, and then calls for the bell. Storms and Golem circle each other, before Golem charges in, clubbing the smaller man to the mat] 

DT: One of the most bizarre turns I’ve EVER seen, as the Second Coming aren’t even allowed in the ring at the same time!! 

MN: Kinda like Golem then; bizarre. 

DT: Golem laying in the boots after that microphone shot earlier, as he lifts Storms off the mat, hooking in the face lock...SLEDGEHAMMER TO THE RIBS!! X-Ecutioner with those shots, taunting Johansson, who can do NOTHING but stand there and watch. 

[Finally, Golem whips Storms into the corner, charging in with a clothesline as his partner leaves the ring, grabbing a couple of chairs. Golem continues to focus on Storms’ ribs, as X-Ecutioner sets two chairs up facing each other in the centre of the ring, taunting Johansson all the while. X-Ecutioner then moves over to Storms, as Golem steps back. The largest man in the match lifts Storms into the air, slamming him down with a Spinebuster out of the corner. Golem follows it up with an elbow drop, before both men lift Storms into the air, looking to throw him onto the chairs] 

DT: Could be dangerous... NO!! Johansson manages to break it up, throwing what looks like a spanner straight at the back of Golem’s head!! X-Ecutioner drops Storms to the mat, and rushes Johansson, who just LEVELS him with a hard right. 

[Rising slowly, blood trickling ever so slightly down the back of his head, Golem heads towards Johansson, who simply pulls the smaller of his opponents over the rope with a slam to the outside. X-Ecutioner tries to leave the ring, but Storms, having recovered somewhat, leaps over the chairs, hooks the larger man in a waist lock, and executes a release German suplex, narrowly missing the steel chairs. Holding his ribs, Storms folds up one of the chairs, bringing it down across the leg of the big man, as outside, Johansson whips Golem into the steps knees first] 

MN: Wow!! This is great!! These two teams are REALLY laying into each other now, and it looks like the Second Coming have found a way to counter that not being allowed in the ring at the same time rule. 

DT: Absolutely Mike, as Storms now starts working over the legs of the big X-Ecutioner with a leg lock, and Johansson just POUNDS on Golem on the outside. Picking him up again.. NO.. Golem slips out, and takes Johansson OVER the security barrier with a clothesline from behind. 

[Quickly sliding back into the ring, Golem attacks Storms, kicking him in the damaged ribs. Storms yells out in pain, releasing the hold, as Golem applies a sleeper hold. X-Ecutioner gets to his feet slowly, limping over towards Storms, and connects with three hard right hands to the gut. He then turns, running the ropes, and on the rebound, goes for a flying clothesline] 

DT: X-Ecutioner into the air... HOLY!! He missed, and went HARD into that chair Golem set up earlier!! Storms lucky he ducked there, as Golem stepped out of the way. X-Ecutioner looks in real pain, as Storms lays into Golem with lefts and rights. Irish whip setting up a.. back body drop, and Golem lands hard. 

[Meanwhile, Johansson has managed to clear the cobwebs, calling for Storms to get out of the ring. As Storms slides out on one side, Johansson slides in on another, taking up one of the chairs in the ring and LEVELLING Golem and X-Ecutioner as they try to get it out of his hands] 

MN: Johansson’s going mental with that chair, as he attacks like a man possessed. This match has been brutal, as Johansson lifts Golem up and slams him down hard, following him down with an elbow. Goes for the cover... X-Ecutioner breaks up the count. 

[X-Ecutioner drives Johansson’s head into the canvas twice, before lifting him up in a gorilla press and, in a feat of strength, takes him down with a powerslam. Rather than covering, he stomps away, signalling for Golem. X-Ecutioner lifts Johansson up again, as Golem goes down on one knee. From the outside, Storms slides a third chair straight at the ankle of the big man, causing him to drop Johansson unceremoniously to the mat. Golem stands, going straight to work on the Canadian, as X-Ecutioner goes to the outside to battle Storms. The two slug it out, before Storms ducks a right hand, moving behind and nailing the big man with a German suplex right on the floor. Inside, Johansson manages to reverse an Irish whip into the corner, catching Golem as he falls out, executing a picture perfect fisherman suplex] 

DT: Johansson has the cover!! One... 

TWO... 

THR..NO!! Golem just manages to fight out of the cover, as Johansson slams him down hard next to that chair, going up top... SHOOTING STAR PRESS!!! Johansson with the shooting star, as Storms is fighting to keep X-Ecutioner on the outside... TWO.. 


THREE!!!!!! THE SECOND COMING HAVE WON!!! 

MN: Holy cow!!! What a hard fought brawl there!!! Huh?!? 

DT: What? 

MN: Golem’s signalling for the mic as Storms and Johansson celebrate on the outside. 

Golem: Not so fast...according to Rule 46-U, this match is a Submission only match. You can't win via pinfall. 

DT: Another rule?!? I thought the ref had checked the rule book. Storms and Johansson can’t believe it, as the ref checks the rules again. 

MN: Well boo hoo, I guess the Coming should have read the rules themselves. 

DT: How could they? The ref has the only copy there is. 

MN: So? They should’ve thought about that sooner. 

[The ref, having checked the rules, calls the Second Coming back to the ring. Storms, holding his ribs, enters the ring, as Johansson goes to his corner. X-Ecutioner and Golem, weapons in hand, bait Storms, who inches over. Golem and his partner swing for Storms, who ducks under, dropkicking Golem from behind, and attacking X-Ecutioner with a flurry of punches. Golem gets to his feet quickly, bringing a chair straight to the back of Storms, whose cries of pain are clearly audible throughout the arena. X-Ecutioner picks up the smaller man, driving him back first into the corner, as Golem goes outside, looking under the ring for something to use. Johansson starts to make his way towards Golem, who finds a table, sliding it into the ring. Taunting Johansson, he slides in at the last minute, causing Matt to swear and slap the mat in frustration. Meanwhile, X-Ecutioner has taken the padding off of one of the turnbuckles, connecting with a Snake Eyes onto the exposed metal, causing Storms to bleed from the forehead. Golem sets up the table, tossing Storms onto it, before climbing the corner, as X-Ecutioner looks to throw him onto the prone Storms] 

DT: And look at this carnage. Golem up top... X-Ecutioner hands him a chair now, as Johansson tries to rouse his partner. X-Ecutioner throws Golem... STORMS MOVED OUT OF THE WAY!! Golem goes straight through that table onto the chair he was holding, as Storms quickly crawls over for the tag!! Johansson pulls him out, and he’s just LAYING into X-Ecutioner with those kicks and fists. Scoops him up...slam ONTO that chair in the centre of the ring. 

MN: I don’t know what to say. This is way better than I thought it would be, as neither team is able to get a clear advantage. 

[Johansson executes a snap suplex on X-Ecutioner, before turning his attention to the recovering Golem. Lifting him up by his bloodied hair, he snapmares him back down, dropkicking him in the back of the head. Seeing X-Ecutioner starting to rise, Johansson takes him down with a clothesline, as Storms moves round the outside. Johansson tosses the larger man out to his partner, then goes back to work on Golem, tieing him up in the ropes by the neck, leaving him there whilst he goes to help Storms] 

DT: Double teaming here from the Second Coming on the outside, as Storms suplexes X-Ecutioner onto Johansson’s knee!! The ref’s trying to help Golem... I don’t think this is what Golem had in mind when he wrote the rules. 

MN: No way. This is MUCH better than I thought it would be. Johansson with taking apart the steps.. Storms putting X-Ecutioner’s leg on the lower steps... 

DT: Don’t tell me...NO!! Golem manages to somehow springboard over the ropes and take Johansson out. Looks like the ref managed to untie him, but he’s holding his throat. He may have just saved his partner from a broken leg, as Storms attacks Golem now. 

[From behind, X-Ecutioner clubs Storms down. He then picks Johansson up, dropping him throat first across the security barrier, before rolling Storms back into the ring. He finds his sledgehammer, using the end of the handle to nail Storms right in the solarplexus, before lifting him up in a bear hug, as Golem slowly makes his way into the ring. Setting up a chair, Golem taunts Storms as best he can, before applying the claw, that overgrown nail finisher of his. Storms screams momentarily, but refuses to give up from the combined pain] 

DT: Storms fighting with everything he’s got, but those sledgehammer shots early on must’ve taken their toll on him. He’s trying to punch Golem away... X-Ecutioner swinging him like a rag doll. 

MN: And I thought what Storms did to Doe at Unleashed was brutal. 

DT: The ref’s checking on Storms... he’s fighting it... HIS ARMS’VE GONE LIMP!!! Bryan Storms looks to be out of it here, as Golem steps off the chair, going outside... he’s attacking Johansson, stopping him from helping his partner!! 

MN: The ref’s checking Storms... he lifts the arm.. it falls. He’s totally out of it!! 

DT: The ref checking a second time... if it falls again, it’s all over. 

AND THERE IT IS!!! The ref signals for the bell, stopping the match after Storms’ arm drops a third time!! 

MN: Aww, man!! 

[SFX: “ding ding ding”] 

TONY FATORA: Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of this match by submission... GOOOOOLLLLLLEEEEEEEMMMMMMMM and the XXXXXXX-EEEEEEECCCCCCCCCCUUUUUUTTTTTTTIIIIIIOOOOOOOONNNNNN NNEEEEEEERRRRRRRR!!! 

DT: I think that was one of the most unusual matches I've called in awhile, Mike. Second Coming fought valiantly, but in the end the odds were stacked too heavily in favor of Golem and X-Ecutioner. 

MN: That's so bull, man. Those freaks had the unfair advantage. 

DT: Yes, but those were the stipulations. Perhaps a future rematch will yield a more fair result. 

MN: Yeah, like my dogg Storms kicking the freaks from here to Kathmandu. 

DT: We've got to take a quick break, folks, but when we come back - WAR GAMES! 

MN: WOOOOOOOOOOO!!! 

[Cut to a commercial for Burger Sultan as the second ring and the cage begins to lower...]