TF: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is for one fall....introducing first, already in the ring....here are Ray Rock and Big Johnny Mambo...THE ROCKAMAMBINATORS!!!

[Polite applause turns to a buzz as Golem and X-ecutioner rush the ring and send Tony Fatora running for cover.]

DT: Golem and X-ecutioner wasting no time!! Golem sends Ray Rock over the top with a clothesline!! Johnny Mambo tries to fight off X-ecutioner, but he ducks a right hand!! Golem steps up behind Mambo!! X-ecutioner leaps up....Total Elimination!!!

MN: Holy crap!! They busted out an Eliminators move!!

DT: Golem with the cover!!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THREE!! THIS THING IS OVER!!!

DM: What the hell???

[SFX: Bell rings.]

TF: The winners of this match.....GOLEM & X-ECUTIONER!!!!!!!!!!!!

DT: What complete and total domination here by Golem and X-ecutioner!!

DM: Those poor bums never stood a chance.

DT: Well, as the ring clears out, it's time for Sebastian Dodd to take on Cross here.

DM: Thank you very much Mr. Roboto.

DT: What's that supposed to mean?

DM: That introduction was robotic.

DT: Hey, I have a hard job here.

MN: So hard that a monkey could do it.

DM: Well, your job is easier than Dave-o's there, so shut your pie hole.

[Cue up: "Stellar" by Incubus]

MN: Ah, my hero! Sebastian Dodd, the Messiah of Empire Pro!

DM: Self-proclaimed Messiah. If he really were that good, he'd have walked out with the Intercontinental strap.

MN: Blasphemy, Matthews! Repent!

DM: Hey, I'm not saying he's not good, but c'mon here.

DT: Well, Dodd's looking like he's got a chip on his shoulder here.

[Cue up "Til I Collapse" by Eminem]

DT: Here comes Cross!

DM: Former A1E World Heavyweight Champion.

MN: Hey, don't you know they're the competition?!

DM: Bah, it's still a world championship.

DT: Cross heads to the ring, Dodd doesn't look like he's impressed at all.

DM: Well, he doesn't have to be impressed, but he has to respect Cross.

DT: Dodd and Cross advance to the middle of the ring and WHOA! What a slap!

MN: The Messiah just slapped the taste out of that blasphemer's mouth.

DM: Well, I guess he doesn't respect Cross either. That could be a mistake.

DT: Cross looks very angry. He's charging at Dodd, and HIP TOSS!

MN: Ah, who's making the mistake now?

DM: Cross just made a mistake there, but if Dodd starts getting cocky, then he's gonna be in for a rude awakening.

DT: A spinning neckbreaker?

MN: Shut up!

DT: Cross is back up, but Dodd sends him back down with a lariat. Dodd in early control here.

MN: Because Dodd is God. The Messiah.

DM: You know, when God sends a giant ass lightning bolt down and fries you, I will laugh so hard.

MN: Dodd would never do that

[Neely gets static shock.]

MN: YIKES!

DM: See?

DT: Dodd to the canvas with a chinlock, but Cross is powering back up, back to his feet. One elbow to Dodd's ribs, two, three! Cross is free. He grabs Dodd, whips him off the ropes and OH NO! Backfire! Dodd just hit him with a flying cross chop!

MN: Praise Dodd!

[Neely gets another static shock.]

MN: YEOW!

DM: To quote a great dog, "God is pissed."

DT: Cross and Dodd both up, and Dodd right in with the snap suplex. Crisply executed. Dodd now with the boots to Cross, really taking it to the former head of the XWF.

MN: Christ, what is it with you mentioning the competition?

DM: We'll they're not exactly competition if they're not running right now.

DT: Guys, the action?

DM: Oh yeah, WHAT A MOVE BY DODD! WHOO!

MN: Dean-o, it was only a leg drop, although a God-like leg drop.

[Shock]

MN: Dammit, why are Freeman and Ryan so cheap with the electrical work?

DM: I don't think it's them.

DT: Anyway, Dodd with a leg drop and now he's got Cross in a seated sleeper. Wearing down Cross here.

DM: Sound strategy.

DT: Ref raises Cross' hand once and he keeps it up.

DM: Dodd's still got a ways to go before he can zip-pah-dingity-doo win this match.

MN: You're strange.

DM: Not as strange as you pretending to worship 7500X up there.

MN: Blasphemy!

[ZAP]

MN: OUCH!

DT: Heh. anyway, Dodd breaks the hold and SLAMS a double axhandle to the back of Cross' neck. Knee drop, cover!

One!

Two!

....but Cross kicks out with authority!!

Dodd back to the attack with another leg drop. Back up, another knee drop. He's merciless.

DM: Yeah, God usually shows mercy. What say you now?

MN: Nothing, I don't like getting shocked.

DM: Score one for the good guys.

DT: Dodd picks Cross up and GERMAN SUPLEX with a bridge!

One!

Two!

..Cross kicks out again!

DM: Dodd's bringing it. Cross hasn't even gotten out of the gate yet. I have to say, I am impressed with Dodd.

DT: Dodd picks Cross back up and goes for a hip toss! NO! Cross blocks it and LARIAT! HUGE LARIAT!

DM: Wow, now Cross impresses me. We may have a match yet.

DT: Dodd gets up stunned and CROSS WITH A DROPKICK! Bringing it to Dodd, Cross whips him and SPINEBUSTER! Floats into a cover!

One!

Two!

...but Dodd kicks out!!

MN: Divine power stopped it!

[ZAP]

DM: I though you were tired of getting zapped?

MN: Shut up.

DT: Cross up and he's got Dodd, knife edge chop!

CROWD: Wooo!

DT: Another chop!

CROWD: Wooo!

DT: A third chop!

CROWD and DM: Wooo!

MN: Hey, shut up.

DT: Dodd's knocked into the corner. Cross whips him out into the other corner. Dodd stumbles out, Cross to the top!! OH GOD! MISSILE DROPKICK!

DM: BONANZA!

DT: Cross is up and covers!!

One!!

Two!!

..Dodd kicks out!

MN: Good job Go...

[ZAP]

MN: OUCH! I was gonna say guy! Sheesh!

DT: Cross picks up Dodd but Dodd counters! Small package!

One!

Two!

Cross kicks out!

Both men get up, Cross with a jab, but Dodd blocks it. Dodd sends back a knife edge chop!

CROWD: Wooo!

DT: Another chop!

CROWD: Woo!

DT: And another!

CROWD and MN: Woo!

DM: I guess turnabout is fair play.

DT: Dodd back on the offensive, he's got Cross and DDT! Cover!

One!

Two!

..thr.... NO! That was close!

MN: Yes! Dodd! Go!

DM: Staying out of trouble?

MN: Trying to.

DT: Dodd picks Cross up! He's going for the D-O-DDT!

MN: Yes! Yes!

DT: Cross breaks free! Cross breaks free!

MN: NO!

DT: Cross kicks Dodd in the gut and... GOLGOTHA! GOLGOTHA! COVER!!

One!!!!

Two!!

THREE!!!

Tony Fatora: Your winner by pinfall!!!!.......... CROSS!

MN: No way!!

DT: And look!! Cross is over Dodd and sees him still moving...and HE'S NOT DONE!!! CROSS PULLS HIM UP!!! GOLGOTHA AGAIN!!!!!

DM: He's dead!!

MN: He'll be fine. Give him three days.

DT: Oh man....ladies and gentlemen, we'll be right back!!

[Cut to a commercial for Burger Sultan and the new Sultan's Choice Combo.]