CUT TO: Beast nailing the Absolution on Adam Benjamin.

CUT TO: Karl Brown coming off the ropes with a Quebrada.

CUT TO: Christian Sands and Lindsay Troy standing victorious in the ring.

CUT TO: Troy Douglas standing victorious on a turnbuckle.

CUT TO: Adam Benjamin delivering a Shining Wizard to Karl Brown.

CUT TO: Golem cradling his claw, smirking.

CUT TO: Boogie Smallz lighting up a blunt.

CUT TO: Lindsay Troy dropkicking Christian Sands.

CUT TO: JA and Sebastian Dodd locking up in the middle of the ring.

CUT TO: Dan Ryan sitting sedately in a chair, staring into the camera.

CUTTO: With a clash of metal, a logo slams across the screen, its edges flickering.]

[Cut to the ramp, where a wreath of pyro explodes around the EmpireTron and several bomblike, smoky explosions ripple about the entry way. The camera zooms in on the screen as the pyro finally peters out, then blurs to roving shots of the roaring crowd as a small banner in the corner briefly appears to proclaim that EPW is broadcast en Espanol. Various signs are visible in the crowd: "BEAST IS A BEAST!", "Where's Lindsay?", "'84 FORD CROWN VIC: NEW WORLD'S HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION", "CAMERON CRUISE IS SO HOT!!!", "Dirty Diaper Dodd", "Big Daddy English Rules", "WE ARE JA-AHOLICS", "Dan Ryan Will Eat Your Babies", "TRUE IDENTITY OF DIS: ELI FLAIR", and finally, "We Came To See John Doe!"]

[Cut to the announce table at ringside.]

DT: Ladies and gentlemen welcome to Aggression!!!! Alongside me as always are Mike Neely and Dean Matthews. What a show we've got lined up for you tonight as we begin the Russian Roulette Tournament to determine the new #1 Contender to Beast's EPW World Heavyweight Championship!

MN: Big Loafy's in trouble, Dave, I can feel it. Whoever comes out of this tournament is going to be primed and ready to finally take that big belt from around his waist!

DM: I wouldn't be so sure, Neely! Sure, the new #1 contender is going to be hungry, but the Champ has held that belt for an awful long time, and there's a reason for that!

DT: Great points from both sides, gentlemen, but all I know is that whoever comes out of this tournament is going to have the chance of a lifetime, and they'll put up the fight of their career for the chance to be the absolute best that EPW has to offer!

MN: Alright, enough talking! Let's get this show on the road!

DM: Sounds like a great plan to me, bo-

[ Matthews is cut off as the sounds of chanting monks fills the arena and the lights change to a deep blue. The chanting monks fade into Nickelback's "Figure You Out", and the fans pop as Beast walks out onto center stage, decked out in jeans and a black EPW t-shirt with the letters lit up in flames, and his World Heavyweight Championship slung over his left shoulder. ]

MN: Holy crap it's Big Loafy! What the hell is he doing here?

DT: Well, although the Champ isn't scheduled on this week's episode of Aggression, I guess he's got something on his mind!

[ Beast enters the ring and his music fades out as he accepts the microphone from Tony Fatora. ]

Beast: I know we've got a tournament to get to, and a new #1 contender to crown, so I'll make this as quick as I can...

MN: Great, I have time to go get a hot dog and hit the tanning salon!

Beast: But I just have a couple things that I need to say.

[ Beast lifts the his title off his shoulder and holds it high in the air. ]

Beast: This is the EPW World Heavyweight Championship! This title symbolizes being the absolute best that this company has to offer. When you carry it, you speak volumes without ever having to open your mouth. Everyone knows what you had to do to win this title. Everyone knows what you have to do to keep it.

THIS TITLE IS EPW.

Beast: And let me tell you something right now, if little pukes like Sebastian Dodd can't get that through their head, then they don't belong in this business!

DT: Whoa! A shot right out of left field from the Champ!

Beast: Now, I know what you're thinking. What I have got against Dodd? We've never met one on one. We've never had issues outside the ring. But after what you said this week, Dodd, I have lost any and all respect.that I had left for you. And just because the Champ decides to name drop you in his promo, Dodd, doesn't mean that he's praising you. No, son, when the World Champion stands up and takes notice of a little punk like you and slams your ass, it's not because he's scared. It's because he's got something to say, and when the Champ speaks, rookie, you'd better sit up and take notice. You could learn something from what he has to say.

I'm gonna say this, and say this only once, so Dodd, you'd better listen and listen good.

It's time to get your head out of your ass and see the light, son. EPW World Champion, or full-time mid-carder, I am not going to stand here and listen to you spout your S(FCC) any longer! If you think that because Cross has won like bazillion World Titles all over the world - A1E included - that this makes him mean nothing to EPW, then you need someone to screw a new brain into your head. If you think that JA winning the A1E Tag Titles and the A1E Cyber Title makes him a big steaming pile of crap in EPW, you're barking up the wrong tree. And if you think that I won the EPW World Heavyweight Championship here in EPW just because of my work over in A1E, then son, you've got another thing coming. Cross, JA, and myself - we're all EXTREMELY TALENTED WRESTLERS. Cross won all those World Titles because he's a GREAT WRESTLER. JA won those titles in A1E, and he's won the EPW Intercontinental Championship because he's a GREAT WRESTLER. But I get it now, Dodd - you're just jealous that JA accomplished something here that you couldn't do. And rather than get off your ass and do something about it, you'd rather sit on your ass and complain "Waaaah! I'm hurt! Waaaah! I lost the EPW Intercontinental Championship to a better wrestler! WAAAAH MY PUSSY HURTS!!"

[ The crowd pops! ]

DT: Wow, Beast is really giving it to Dodd here, guys.

Beast: And I don't even have to get into the long list of people that I've defeated here in EPW to earn and hold onto this World Heavyweight Championship, Dodd. I may have got my start in A1E, but son, where were you when Dan Ryan and Paul Freeman was issuing invitations to join EPW? They sent them to - you guessed it - GREAT WRESTLERS from all over the world, trying to build a great new company from the ground up.

I got one of those invitations. I was HERE.

Where were you, Dodd, when EPW first opened its doors? I was HERE.

Where were you, Dodd, when EPW held its inaugural tournament to crown the first ever Champion?

You weren't anywhere to be found! AND GOD DAMMIT, I WAS HERE!!!

[ Another pop from the crowd! ]

Beast: Dodd, I have been here from DAY F(FCC)ING ONE! I was here when guys were kicking and scratching their way through that first tournament, trying to establish themselves in this new land called EPW. It all hasn't been roses, either. I've had my lumps. I've tasted the failure, when I lost to Christian Sands in that first title match. From day one, I've wrestled my ass off for this company. I've sat out cards when I've been asked for this company. I've won, I've lost for this company. I've bled for this company. I've had my heart torn out of my chest in front of the world for this damn company! I've worn a dress for this damned company!

And I've proved myself to be the very best in this company, and I've carried it on my god damned shoulders, all the while travelling and getting my ass kicked in A1E all at the same time! Not once have I backed down. Not once have I given up!

I've done it ALL for this company!

So when you walk in here and proclaim yourself to be the Messiah for EPW, the one that lives and breathes this company and would die for this company, all I can say is TAKE A F(FCC)KING SEAT IN THE BACK SON, CAUSE I'M FIRST IN LINE!

[ Cheers fill the arena! Beast holds the title in the air again, and leans his head back, shouting for all he's worth.]

Beast: EYE... AM.... EEEEEE PEEEEE DOUBLE-YOOOOOOO!!!

[ Pop from the crowd! A "BEAST!" chant starts in the arena! ]

Beast: Do you hear that, Dodd? Do you hear these fans? They know what the real deal is. You could have been part of that. You had your shot to come prove yourself and come after this title, and prove everything you've ever said, but instead, you sit there at home, crying in your milk about how you got screwed over, about how the MAN is holding you down, and watch as eight OTHERS get their shot at this title. If you were truly EPW, you'd have gotten back up off your ass and kept plugging away, but no, you chose the low road, and chose to piss and moan instead.

You're not EPW, son.

YOU AIN'T SH*T!

[ Pop! ]

Beast: Now, before I take up too much more time, I'd just like to take this opportunity to wish everyone in the #1 Contender Russian Roulette Tournament the best of luck, and may the best man win. I'll be waiting for you when you do. You've all got a very long, hard road ahead of you to make it to the PPV in one piece, and to claim your shot at the Gold. You're going to have to fight your asses off to get to the PPV, and just when you think it's over, that you've done it, and that your journey is over...

You're going to have to step into the ring with the EPW World Heavyweight Champion.

[CUE UP: Nickelback's "Figure You Out". The crowd pops as Beast leaves the ring and heads over to ringside where he takes a seat and puts on a head set.]

DT: Powerful words from the Heavyweight Champion of the World - who even now has joined us here at ringside!

MN: Oh snap, it's Bi-

DM: MIKE.

B: Big Loafy, huh?

MN: I didn't say anything!

B: I'm watching you, Neely. I'm watching you very closely.

MN: Meep.

B: Yeah, that's what I thought.

DM: While this is certainly fascinating, maybe we should get this show on the road.

DT: Sounds like a good idea to me, Dean. Let's take it to the back!

B: Joy.

[We cut to the parking lot, where Kenny Lombardo patiently stands next to a parked limousine, the engine still running. He turns to the camera with a bright, beaming smile.]

KL: Hey guys, its Kenny here! Right now, I’m standing next to Nathan Fear’s private limo, where I’m told the members of the Crimson Calling are having a pre-match meeting inside the vehicle as I speak.

[The door is suddenly opened from within. Erik Black steps out first, looking psyched, and also as though he would go off on anybody. He pays Kenny a momentary glance, then holds the door open for his manager, Nathan Fear, to step out.]

KL: Ah, Mr. Fear! Could I have a word?

NF: Not now, I’m busy. Watch the car a minute longer, Erik...

[Straightening his tie, Fear walks out of the frame, leaving a dismayed Kenny holding a mic. Finally, Ivan Dalkichev steps out, holding with him a strong iron cane. He comes to his feet, testing his right leg out slightly, then nods satisfied.]

KL: Oh, Mr. Dalkichev! How is your leg doing?

ID: Much good, thanks.

KL: I see you’re carrying a cane... would there be any possibility that your leg isn’t 100% for this match?

[At this, Erik Black steps forward.]

EB: Here’s the deal, Ken. The strategy is to put me in the ring as much as possible to wear away at the other side. Ivan only steps in when we have absolute control, to put the nail in the coffin. The less he’s in the ring, the less of a chance his leg has to go out again. We’re taking extra special care of it tonight. As for the cane... shit, I just told him it made him look like a pimp, and he won’t let it go. I don’t even think he uses it...

ID: Big Russian Pimp, at your service! HAHAHAHA!!

[The smaller men step back a bit at his roaring laughter.]

EB: As for Dark Carnival, they’re going down. Now, I take my hat off to both veteran talents, but what have they done to impress anybody lately?

[Dalkichev lumbers away as Black is focused on the mic.]

EB: The answer is nothing! Powers and Poe are washed up! They’re HACKS, Kenny! I could probably fight them myself with my arms tied around my back! Of course, things will be too easy considering we have Ivan, who... uh, Ivan?

[Erik looks around as he notices his partner is missing, and Kenny does the same. Suddenly the spot him.]

EB: Hey, Ivy!

[The camera pans around, showing Ivan approaching the four illustrious Empire Girls, signing autographs for a pair of male fans.]

EB: Ah, geez...

[As Erik jogs after the Raging Russian, Ivan comes between Tiffany and Miyoko. With two girls on either side, his massive arms corral them closer to his barrel chest. He’s wearing a massive grin.]

ID: Good evening, ladies! Would there be interest in Big Russian Love?

Ruby: ...ew, God.

ID: They say, bigger you are, BIGGER you ARE! HAW HAW HAW!!

[The girls tremble under his boisterous laughter, and Black finally catches up.]

EB: Damnit, Ivan! You’ve gotta get this pimp stuff outta your head! Come on, we’ve gotta get ready...

[Erik leads his partner away, who favors another lustful look at the group of ladies left behind. The Crimson Calling step into the arena as the irritated Empire Girls shake their heads and look at each other.]

Ruby: Gawd, what a freak...

Miyoko: And could SMELL him? I nearly died...

Candy: Yeah... but you know, for a guy that big, I bet he IS... you know... packin’?

[The other three look at her unbelieving.]

Ruby, Miyoko, and Tiffany: Eeeeewwww...

Ruby: Candy, that is SO gross...

Tiffany: Don’t tell me you’re actually thinking about sleeping with him...

Candy: What, wouldn’t any of you, if you knew he was THAT well-endowed?

Miyoko: ...well, maybe. But he’d have to take a shower first.

Tiffany: Yeah, definitely.

Ruby: ...just as long as it’s REALLY big...

[Cut to a commercial for EPW Aggression for XBOX.]