TIFFANY MARAIS: The following tag-team contest is set for one fall.

[CUE UP: “Stellar” by Incubus. Sebastian Dodd heads straight for the ring, his face as cocky as ever, as the crowd boo him. On entering the ring, Dodd merely waits in the corner for his partner]

TIFFANY MARAIS: Weighing in at two hundred forty five pounds, he hails from New York City, New York - Your Hero! Sebastian! DODD!

[“Stellar” fades as we CUE UP: “Black Superman” by Above the Law. Boogie steps through the curtain already smoking a blunt. The boos Dodd heard are intensified as Smallz walks to the ring. Sliding under the bottom rope, he makes his way over to talk strategy with Dodd, though not before he blows smoke into the referee’s face]

TIFFANY MARAIS: And his partner, weighing in at one hundred and forty three kilos, he hails from Brooklyn, New York - Boogie! SMALLZ!

DT: Smallz and Dodd are an interesting team to say the least.

DM: True, you’ve got the technical stylings if Sebastian Dodd trying to work with the much more power based Boogie.

MN: Last ever [BEEP] champion.

DT: You’re still high on them doing that, aren’t you?

MN: Yep.

[CUE UP: “Eat The Rich” by Fozzy. JA is met with a hail of cheers, the intercontinental belt over his shoulder as he plays to the crowd. Jogging to the ring, he waits about half-way down the ramp for his partner. Tony introduces him anyway]

TONY: Weighing in at two hundred and fifteen pounds, he hails from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and is the current Intercontinental Champion - Jay! AY!

DM: JA doing the smart thing here waiting for his partner. You don’t want to go into the ring alone against two men the calibre of Smallz and Dodd.

MN: Or where that blunt is.

[CUE UP: "Let's Go" by Trick Daddy feat. Lil' Jon and Twista. The crowd looks around confused as Cruise steps out from behind the curtain, dressed in dark red rip-away pants, a tight red muscle shirt and a baseball cap on lopsided with a bandana tied underneath. Walking with an exaggerated swagger he meets JA on the ramp, and the team enter the ring together. Boogie does not look impressed in the other corner]

TIFFANY MARAIS: From Jacksonville, North Carolina, he weighs in at two hundred and forty nine pounds - Cameron! CRUISE!

DT: What on earth is he wearing?

DM: Looks like he’s trying to imitate Boogie there. Or annoy him, as Smallz jumps him before the bell has a chance to sound.

DT: Referee Andrew Gardell making JA and Dodd get out of the ring as Smallz rocks Cruise with rights and lefts. Smallz now sending Cruise off the ropes... Cruise under the clothesline and SCORES with a flying forearm on the rebound. He tosses the hat and bandana to one side now, and hits a nice scoop slam on the last [BEEP] champion. Off comes the shirt and pants and it looks like Cruise is ready to wrestle under there.

DM: Cruise twisting the arm there, holding it secure as he drives the elbow into the shoulder of his opponent. Cruise is really taking it to Smallz now, and it looks like he dressed that way to unsettle the Brooklyn native.

DT: Cruise now bringing Smallz to his corner, and the tag is made to the smallest man in this match, the Anglo-Luchadore. Up... and down comes JA with a double axe-handle right onto the extended arm of Smallz. Look for the smaller man to try and keep the pace up against Smallz.

MN: Isn’t Smallz the Smallzer man?

DT: Mike, you know how Christmas is coming?

MN: Yeah.

DT: I’m asking Santa for a new co-commentator.

MN: You still believe in Santa?

DM: Leaving those two to discuss their Christmas lists, JA is really taking it to Smallz, using kicks to try and ground the big man. No matter how big they are, when they’re on the mat they lose their strength and height advantage. JA now with some chops to the chest, off the ropes and right into the waiting arms of Smallz, catching the luchador as he went for the cross body block. Smallz now carrying JA across the ring, and DROPS him hard onto the mat.

DT: Dodd now signalling for the tag, and he gets it. Smallz through the ropes as he glares back across the ring at Cruise, who’s... raising the roof?

MN: Meanwhile Dodd takes JA down with an armbar, pulling back on the shoulder.

DM: Note Dodd’s positioning here; he’s got his left leg in front of JA’s throat, so if the masked one tries to pull away to relieve pressure he gets choked and since he’d be the one choking himself, nothing the ref can do about it.

DT: But there is something JA can do, as he quickly throws his legs up, locking Dodd in a head-scissors, taking him down now. Dodd quickly pushes himself out of the hold, and both men up now. JA goes for an arm-drag of his own, but Dodd counters that with an Irish whip to the corner. Following him in, and JA goes up and over. Sunset flip

TWO

And a quick kickout there from Dodd as JA went for a quick pin attempt. JA now with a headlock on Dodd, working over the neck.

DM: JA’s Karelin Driver is a devastating move and you can see here he’s setting up for it. Though how he’s going to do that when THAT happens is beyond me, as Dodd hits a nice high-angled back suplex to break out of it.

DT: Dodd now going over, and he makes the tag to Smallz, who comes in and just CLOBBERS JA with a clothesline there. Smallz with a couple of quick boots there, focusing on the shoulder of JA, as he now picks him up and throws him into the corner. Big chops here from Smallz

MN: WHOO!!

DT: JA in trouble here as Smallz is being much more methodical than we’re used to seeing from him. Now he lifts him up over his head, LAUNCHING him like a torpedo across the ring there. What uncanny strength from the six foot nine man there.

DM: Looks like he’s trying to bait JA into tagging in Cruise. A man of Boogie’s calibre would normally follow him straight in there, but he’s actually taunting him into making a tag. JA obliges, and Cruise comes in. boogie stands there shouting at the Jacksonville native, as Cruise... raises the roof again?

DT: Ho boy, that looks to have Smallz steamed, as he charges in... drop toe hold by one half of the former tag team champions there. Smallz quickly up, charging in again, but gets sent straight back down thanks to a back body drop from Cruise. Cruise REALLY looks like he had Smallz scouted, doing everything he can to throw him off his game.

DM: That’s a smart thing to do, especially in a tag team match; if one member of the other team isn’t focused in the ring it makes things a lot easier. Ask Sands how easy it was to win the titles when Melton wasn’t focused on the ring.

DT: Smallz now coming in again, but Cruise just clotheslines him down to the canvas, following it up with an elbow drop. Smallz starting to look in trouble here as Cruise has total control it seems.

MN: Cruise control?

DT: *groan*

MN: Well, it looks that way, as he stops Boogie from making it to his feet with a well executed drop kick there.

DM: Smallz scampering to his corner, tagging out. He’s still professional enough to know when he’s not thinking as clearly as normal, though I doubt he EVER thinks clearly. Dodd now back in, and we’re back to square one, as these two lock up. Dodd with a go behind into a hammerlock, but Cruise counters with a hammerlock of his own. Dodd with a sweeping toe hold, locking Cruise down on the mat with a float-over headlock.

DT: Cruise trying to power up but... unsporting but effective move there from “Your Hero” with the thumb to the eye there. Dodd releases the hold, but a nice version of the elbow drop as he lifts himself just enough to drive the point of the elbow down into the back of Cruise.

DM: The thing for Dodd to do now is to keep Cruise grounded, with quick tags in and out. I don’t think they managed enough damage on JA earlier, so they’re going to have to keep Cruise in as long as they can.

DT: Dodd now picking Cruise up, whipping him into the corner where Smallz is waiting. The tag is made, and Smallz and Dodd with the double team now, stomping Cruise into the corner. Smallz with the whip across the ring... HOLY!!!

DM: NICE move there, as Smallz hits a clothesline as Dodd scores with the drop toe hold.

MN: Ouch... Cruise was folded up BETTER than an accordion there, or worse if you’re Cruise, as Smallz powers Cruise to his feet. Scoop slam there by Smallz, who’ smiling as if he were the mouse who got the cheese now finally being able to hurt Cameron for the way he mocked Smallzter earlier.

DT: Smallz dropping the knee on Cruise’s chest there, setting Cruise up and burying him with a double arm DDT. Smallz locking in a dragon sleeper near the centre of the ring now, trying to cut of the oxygen supply to Cruise’s brain whilst applying pressure to the chest and neck which that AMAZING double team move a few moments ago must’ve injured.

DM: JA’s trying to get the crowd behind Cruise, but look how Boogie’s cutting them out of it by standing Cruise up slightly and dropping him down on the outstretched knee? Working as many places as he can here, Boogie’s really got this move locked in tight and it’s going to be difficult for Cruise to break it.

DT: Referee Gardell now checking with Cruise, who looks to be going under here.

DM: Those big arms of Boogie arm pressing in against the blood supply, and without any blood supply to the brain the body shuts down.

DT: And Gardell’s checking that now, lifting the free arm of Cruise up... it falls once. Up again... NO!!! JA, sensing the match in jeopardy, breaks up the move with a springboard dropkick. He starts taking it to Smallz with quick kicks to the legs and ribs... NICE jumping spinning back kick to the face there, and Smallz is down. Gardell’s forcing JA out of there, but it looks like Cruise is starting to stir... HEY!!

MN: Nice presence of mind there as Dodd comes in and attacks Cruise with a shining wizard as he tries to get up. Dodd claps his hands and he and Smallz setting Cameron up. Electric Chair drop position as Cruise is on Smallz’s shoulders. Dodd with a springboard up top.

DT: Looking for... we won’t be able to tell as Cruise just NAILED Smallz in the eye and then DRILLED Dodd with a powerbomb from the big mans shoulders. Gardell is making Smallz get out of the ring, with Cruise closest to his corner, still feeling the effects of that move a few minutes ago, but Dodd came down hard on the shoulders and neck there, so this race for the tag could decide the eventual outcome of the match.

DM: Dodd is the first one to get to somewhat of a vertical base, as he uses the ropes to try and pull himself over to Boogie. Cruise is barely crawling over to JA, and it looks like he won’t make it as in comes the stoned one to dish out some more punishment, dropping the elbow onto the back of Cruise there.

DT: Pulling Cruise back now, he slaps on an STF to try and keep him grounded, working over the legs here as he also pulls on the back. Boogie really looks like he’s still not happy over the actions of Cruise earlier, coming out dressed like that, as he hasn’t let him get a chance to tag out for a while.

MN: Cruise is trying to claw his way over the stormy seas of the canvas to the safe haven of the coastal ropes, argh.

DT: OK... urge to hurt him...rising?

MN: Cruise?

DT+DM: YOU!!

MN: Meep.

DT: Getting back to the match, and Cruise is inching himself over to the ropes, trying desperately to break this hold. Almost...

DM: And Dodd gets involved, distracting the ref, allowing Smallz to keep the hold on. Nice continuity and team work here from Smallz and Dodd, cutting the ring in half and preventing Cruise from making the tag. Dodd gets past Gardell and he and Smallz pick Cruise up. Boogie whips Cruise off the ropes... tilt-a-whirl back breaker there, followed up by a leg drop from “Your Hero”. They drag Cruise like a ship-wreck over to the corner, and Smallz tags out, leaving the smaller member of the team in there to take out Cruise with a right hand. Cruise fires back weakly with a right of his own, as Dodd just smirks there. He sets him up, whipping him into the corner, following him in... SHOULDER TO THE GUT there from Cruise.

DT: I don’t think that was intentional, Dean.

DM: It was effective though, as Cruise fell in time from the corner to wind Dodd, who’d started looking for a splash. Dodd is now trying to pick Cruise up.

DT: And Cruise has none of that, as he ducks behind and PLANTS Dodd with a neckbreaker. Cruise is looking hurt here, and now might be his last opportunity to tag out. Gardell checks both men and starts the count... one

Two...

Three...

Four...

MN: Dave can count, folks. Isn’t he smart? OUCH!!!

DT: Five... six... seven... Cruise is inching himself towards JA, as Gardell stops the count at eight for Dodd. Dodd with a hard blow to the back of Cruise. Locking him now for a German suplex... CRUISE LANDS ON HIS FEET!!!

DM: Cruise ducks under a spinning clothesline from Dodd, and makes the tag!!!

DT: JA in now with a front moonsault OVER the top rope, taking Dodd down. JA now with an enziguri taking Dodd down, but here comes Boogie Smallz... JA takes him down to the outside with a flying headscissors. JA on fire here as he hits a snap suplex with force there. Climbing the ropes... four-fifty splash!!! The cover,

TWO

Kickout there by Dodd. JA looking to end it here, but Smallz is in again, with a thunderous flying forearm taking the smallest man in the match down.

DM: Cruise now trying to get back in, as Gardell makes Smallz get back to the apron... SHIP WRECK ON DODD!!!

DT: The ref was too busy reprimanding Smallz that he never saw that.

MN: BULL!! This is a screw job!!! DODD’S A HERO!!! HE DESERVES BETTER THAN THIS!!!

DT: Maybe so, but Smallz is still arguing with Gardell. JA back up, seeing Dodd down... running over to Smallz... springboard... NICE!!! A beautifully executed Asai Moonsault off the top rope there from JA as he ALSO connects with a somersault kick to knock Smallz off the apron to the outside. Gardell making the count...

TWO...

NO! Kickout by Dodd! I thought that was three!

DM: So did JA! He's insisting to the official that that was a three count!

DT: Referee Andrew Gardell insists Dodd got the shoulder up at the count of three. JA finally gives in and turns... but Dodd's crawled back to his corner and tagged in Boogie Smallz!

MN: TOKE DAT STUFF, BRO!!!

DT: Smallz in like a house afire! Right hand to Dodd! And again! And again! Whips him off into the ropes - Clothesline takes down the Intercontinental Champion!

DM: I think Smallz could do it here, Dave.

DT: Now Smallz setting up JA... He's looking for a Power Bong here! Bringing JA up - JA TURNS IT INTO A VICTORY ROLL!!! ONE - TWO - THREE!!! JA HAS DONE IT!!!

MN: WHAAAAT?!?!

DM: Whoa! Out of NOWHERE!

[SFX: *DING* - Bell rings.]

TIFFANY MARAIS: Th’ winners of this match by pinfall - Cameron Cruise and JAY! AY!

DT: A valiant effort by Boogie Smallz and Sebastian Dodd, but in the end it's JA and Cruise with the narrow win -

[Cue up: "Everyday People" - Pearl Jam. The crowd reacts with some confusion as General Manager Paul Freeman walks out onto the ramp, mic in hand.]

DT: - Hold on, it looks like our second in command is out here for some reason!

MN: What's he up to?

FREEMAN: Boogie... I'll tell this you you straight. You're a hell of a competitor. If that were all there were to it I wouldn't be out here saying what I'm about to say. But... I'm sorry. We got the results in from the drug test. The good news is... you didn't fail a single drug test...

[CROWD: *POP!*]

FREEMAN: ...You failed EVERY drug test. Miserably.

[CROWD: *BOOOOO!*]

FREEMAN: I'm sorry, Mr. Smallz, but I'm a slave to company policy. If I make an exception for you, I have to make one for everybody, and I'm not prepared to do that.

...You're fired.

[The crowd's reaction is decidedly mixed. Cut to the ring, where an indignant Smallz yells profanities up at Freeman. Back to the ramp, Freeman holds up his hands in an 'I had no choice' fashion before vanishing backstage.]

DT: Wow! What a bombshell from GM Paul Freeman, as Boogie Smallz is out the door for failing drug tests!

DM: Are you really surprised, Dave?

DT: ...Come to think of it, no.

[Cut to the ring, where Smallz has grabbed the mic from Tiffany.]

SMALLZ: Yo, Freeman! You think y'all problems is just gonna go away by givin' a brotha' the pink slip, punk? You ain't got ish on me, trick! Enjoy it while it lasts, mofo, 'cause y'all ain't seen da last of Boogeezey in da heezy fo' sheezy. BELEE' DAT!!!

[Cue up: "Black Superman" - Above The Law. The crowd roars in mixed elation and anger as Smallz stumps to the back.]

[Cut to a commercial for Tailpipe Stuffers' used autos.]