(Suddenly the arena erupts in cheers as the familiar sounds of monks chanting comes over the speaker. Moments later “Figure You Out” by Nickelback comes across the sound system as Beast steps through the curtain to a deafening roar. Beast steps through the curtain and stalks to the ring, a very….unpleasant look on his face. Beast goes straight to a corner and demands a mic, then returns to the center – his head down.)

Beast: Down in Houston….I was absolutely screwed out of my World Title, a title I worked damn hard to win and to defend for most of the year by….(Beast winces, the hatred evident in his voice)….Lindsay Troy.

Now what I want right now….NO….what I demand right now…is for Dan Ryan to get out here and give me my rematch. I want my title back, and I want it back TONIGHT!

MN: Loafy’s getting a little demanding.

(The crowd roars at the prospect of an impromptu World Title match.)

Beast: You wanted to see me unleash the real Beast? You got it. Get out here, Ryan!!

(The arena stay quiet for a few moments aside from the roar of the crowd, until suddenly “ZERO” by Smashing Pumpkins blares to a roaring reaction from the fans in attendance.)

DT: It’s the owner…..

(Ryan steps out and walks simply and calmly to the ring, taking his time along the way.)

DT:….of Empire Pro!!

DM: This could be good.

MN: Don’t give him the shot, boss!!

(Ryan climbs into the ring and holds his hand out for Beast to hand him the microphone. Beast stares a hold in the EPW owner, then finally hands it over. Ryan looks straight at Beast for a moment or two more, as the fans begin to chant “REMATCH!! REMATCH!!”. Ryan slowly raises the mic to his mouth.)

Ryan: NO.

(Ryan begins to toss the microphone aside but Beast grabs him by the arm and rips the microphone from his grasp.)

Beast: NO?? NO?? You’re saying no to me?? You….are saying no to me??

(Ryan simply stares.)

Beast: Oh no no no…not this time. I demand my title shot, Ryan. Not this time, man. I want the shot, and if I have to exert my will by physical means, I will.

(The crowd “ooooh’s” at the threat, but Ryan remains stoic.)

Ryan: (taking the mic back) I’ll tell you what I’ll do, Marcus. You see, I hold your entire career….no, your entire LIFE in my hands….and you know it.

(Beast just stares daggers into Ryan as they stare at each other.)

Ryan: I like you, Marcus. I’ve always liked you…..and that’s why I’m going to grant your request.

(Beast’s face registers a look one part shock and one part uneasiness.)

Ryan: Naturally, there is a condition.

(Beast tenses up once again, visibly annoyed.)

Ryan: You will wrestle a match next Aggression – and then you will wrestle another the Aggression after that. And you will continue to do so until I see the improvement in your demeanor and willingness to…..DO WHAT IT TAKES….(Ryan exaggerates each words, knowing it irks the former champ. Beast for his part clenches his fists harder and harder)….and once I see that change in you, the shot is yours – and you will know once and for all that what happens in this ring, in this building, in my company…happens only because I say it does.

(Beast reaches out for the mic but this time Ryan holds it away.)

Ryan: UH UH….no sir. My company, my time, my microphone. I suggest you go back to the hotel and assess your options. You decide if you want to be the man I believe you can be, or if you want to be jerking the curtain from now until your contract runs out.

Now….get the hell out of my ring.

(Beast takes a step forward, just inches from Ryan as the crowd eggs Beast on. Finally Beast narrows his eyes and turns past Ryan, climbing down from the ring and heading on his way back up the ramp.)

DT: Talk about tension!!

MN: If Beast had been a good little loafy a long time ago, none of this would be necessary!

DM: Sorry to interrupt fellas….but it’s main event time!!

DT: Indeed, let’s go up to Tony Fatora!!

TONY FATORA: Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is set for one fall, with no time limit. Introducing first…

(CUE UP: “Jesus Walks” by Kanye West. Cross comes out to a rousing ovation, his eyes set on the centre of the ring)

DT: There’s Cross, and he’s looking for some real pay-back here against… what do we call this guy? Dis or Dis two?

TONY FATORA: Weighing in at an impressive two hundred and eighty five pounds, and hailing from Los Angeles, California….

CCCCCCCCCCCRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

(Cross starts to jog to the ring)

DT: OH MY GOD!! Dis just clipped Cross’ knee out from under him!!

DM: Why don’t you ask what we should call Dis since he or she is out here?

DT: Dis is stomping away on that knee. Picking the leg up and he slams the knee of Cross right down onto the hard metal rampway!! Someone’s got to get this match into the ring.

MN: I thought this was Dis two?

DM: Whatever you want to call this Dis, he’s really hammering away on that knee. A really smart move, taking Cross out before the bell rang

MN: It hasn’t rung yet.

DM: … as I was saying. Working over the already injured knee you know this is going to give Dis Two the major advantage. Steve Savoy really did a number on it at Russian Roulette, and any smart wrestler would go for the injured part.

DT: Dis now with a knee breaker, and he pushes Cross hard back first into the apron. He pushes Cross into the ring and the bell finally rings. Dis stomping away still on that knee, not letting Cross get to his feet.

DM: Dis is smart to focus on the knee. Whoever’s behind that mask knows that if Cross gets his hands on them then they’re in big trouble. Driving his own knee into Cross’ there, and a nice leg lock, and you can hear Cross screaming NO at the ref.

DT: Dis releases the hold, picking up the wounded Cross now, and a hard slam down, and another knee drop onto the injured knee. Dis now showboating to the crowd… look at the arrogance there, as he turns around and nails Cross with a hard shot to the ribs as he’s getting up using the ropes. Irish whip off the ropes, but Cross on the rebound with a clothesline, and he’s wailing away with right hands on the fallen Dis!!!

MN: Cheat!! Cheat!!

DM: The ref agrees with you there, Mike, pulling Cross off and warning him about the closed fists, but he’s right back on him with a hard, vicious chop there. He lifts him up, and a hard charge into the corner and slam down. He’s not even trying to go for the cover, he just wants to hurt him, and the crowd are going wild as he tries to choke the life out of his opponent. I haven’t seen him this vicious in the ring in some time.

DT: Cross finally let’s go at the count of four, and he’s yelling at the ref, Dis dropping to the outside. Senior referee Pat Jones is forcing Cross back, as Dis struggles to shake off the effects of that concerted attack.

MN: You mean the cheating.

DT: Compared to what this Dis has been doing I’d say it was fair.

DM: It may have been unethical attacking before the bell but it wasn’t against the rules, Dave. Meanwhile, Cross has pushed past Pat Jones, but gets a headbutt for his troubles as Dis springs up into the face of the massive Cross. Dis now grabbing hold of Cross’ injured leg, and slamming it down across the apron. Nothing fancy, but all effective.

DT: Indeed it is, Dean. Dis back in the ring is still focusing in on that injured knee, which not too long ago gave out when he had Steve Savoy up for Golgotha. Dis with a leg lock on the apron, and Cross has got to be careful. Revenge may be one thing but if he keeps in this match he could end up not being able to walk any more!!

MN: Aw… boo hoo.

DM: Cross is trying to pull back on Dis’ chin to break the hold but Dis is having none of that, applying more pressure on the leg. Any leg lock, any hold that attacks your opponents legs at all, can be modified to single out the knee, and it looks like Dis is doing that right now. He’s switching to a standing leg lock, wrapping the leg of Cross around his own. Fans of British wrestling in the eighties might remember Cat Weasel used to do something similar, falling back as Dis just did.

MN: Cat Weasel? What kind of name is Cat Weasel?!?! Was he some kind of freak?

DM: He could probably still kick your ass, stupid name or not, Mike.

DT: Dis dropping back, and Cross is really showing the pain here. Dis releases the hold and another stomp onto the back of the knee. Dis now picking up the wounded Cross, whipping him into the corner. Hard clothesline, and he’s wrapping Cross’ leg round the rope!! Come on, this isn’t fair!!

DM: Still effective. Against someone as talented as Cross you need whatever advantage you can get. Dis breaking the hold at four though, and Pat Jones admonishing him.

DT: CROSS WITH A RIGHT HAND!! Cross fires back thanks to that talking to Pat Jones gave Dis. Dis with a quick thumb to the eye, now off the ropes… BIG sidewalk slam there by Cross.

One…

TWO…

Kickout by Dis. Cross now with Dis in his clutches, picks him up and drops him down across the top rope, and whoever Dis is is going to be singing castrati in the morning.

MN: Weasel Cats, castratis… you two sure you ain’t making this sh…

DM+DT: FAMILY SHOW!!

DT: Cross with a hard clothesline taking Dis down to the outside, and this time Cross isn’t letting up, flexing the knee as he makes it to the outside, and a hard whip straight into the ring post for Dis!!! Cross is taking it to Dis, slamming him down hard on the ringside area.

DM: Cross picking up Dis… snake-eyes onto the guardrail, followed by a whip into the steps!!! Did you see those steps move into the end of the rampway? The top set just bounced!!

MN: This is great!! E-P-W!! E-P-W!!

DT: Cross is vicious here, smashing Dis into the ring post. Referee Pat Jones on the outside trying to get them back into the ring, but Dis blocks another attempt by Cross and scores with a knee to the gut, and a snap suplex on the hard floor. Dis stomping away on the leg of Cross. It may not be fancy or varied but Dis’ offence has been effective, but those shots from Cross have taken their toll, as those stomps look a lot more tired than they were earlier.

DM: You’ve never been slammed into the ring steps, have you?

DT: Thankfully, no.

DM: Then you wouldn’t know how much it can take out of you. Dis is holding his shoulder a little. He was lucky to duck down into them; going in knee first is the worst thing you can do.

DT: Dis now rolling Cross back into the ring, grabbing the leg. Pat Jones trying to make him get back into the ring, but Dis takes Cross over to the ring post.

DM: Shades of Bret Hart here, with the figure four leg-lock on the ring post. Cross is screaming as Pat Jones goes outside and is trying to pry Dis off.

MN: Dis FINALLY letting go. Now THAT’S gonna swing things over to Dis in this one.

DT: Pat Jones admonishing Dis, but you’ve got to know he’s not going to disqualify either competitor unless he absolutely has to. Both competitors now back in the ring, as Cross is using the ropes to try and get to his feet. Dis with an arm drag, and he floats over to work on the knee again. Not to sound clichéd but he’s like a pit bull going in for the kill.

DM: And cross doing the smart thing and making it quickly to the ropes. He’s going to have to keep Dis away from that knee.

DT: Dis with a kick to the gut as Cross rises, and a DDT takes the big man down.

DM: Dis is starting to take his time, and he’s still holding that shoulder from going into the steps. Looks like he’s setting Cross up for either a piledriver or a powerbo

DT: Nope, as Cross with a take down, slingshoting Dis into the corner!!Look how Dis bounced there!! School boy roll up

TWO!!

NO!!! Dis with a kickout. Both men are slow to get up. Dis fires off a right hand, but Cross scores with one of his own. Those punches look tired as both of them are going back and forth. Cross with a block, and a right hand!! Another block, and he’s starting to pummel Dis!! Hard whip to the ropes and a HUGE powerslam there!!! One

TWO…

THRNOO!! Dis somehow gets the shoulder up!!!

DM: That may not have been the smartest move on Cross’ part. The way he span looks like it’s hurt his knee again, but he’s still trying successfully to stand. Dis up now, rushing in but Cross takes him down with a clothesline.

DT: Cross now with a standing headscissors. HE’S GOT HIM UP FOR GOLGOTHA!!!

MN: HIS KNEE GAVE OUT AGAIN!!

DM: One…

TWO…

Kickout from Cross. A lucky break there after a very unlucky break, his knee obviously isn’t strong enough to support the weight going for Golgotha right now.

DT: Dis is in a bad bad way though right now…..Cross now charging Dis, bad knee and all and DIS PULLS THE REFEREE RIGHT IN BETWEEN THEM!!

MN: REF BUMP!! REF BUMP!!!

DT: Dis took some of the brunt of that as well and in fact all three men are down in the ring……WAIT A SECOND!!!

(The crowd rises as EPW World Champ Lindsay Troy rushes down to ringside and slides into the ring.)

DT: It’s LINDSAY TROY!! THE WORLD CHAMPION IS HERE!!!

(Troy immediately pounces on the prone Dis 2 and starts wailing away with rights and lefts to the head.)

DM: She said she was gonna take out some revenge on this impostor as she calls him, and she’s doing just that!!

DT: Dis 2 trying desperately to cover up and now TROY IS GOING FOR THE MASK!! SHE’S GOING FOR THE MASK!!!

MN: No!! No fair!! DQ!! DQ!!

DT: LINDSAY TROY HAS THE MASK HALF OFF AND…..WAIT…..WAIT JUST A SECOND….

(Someone slips out from underneath the ring, dressed exactly like Dis two and charges into an unsuspecting Lindsay Troy, knock her off balance and out of the ring.)

DT: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS??

DM: There are more of them????

(The new Dis quickly rolls Dis 2 to the side of the ring and rolls him to the outside, then slumps down on the mat.)

MN: I can’t believe this!!

DT: This new…Dis?…I don’t even know what to call this guy!!

DM: Dis 3??

DT: This new Dis is lying in the ring while Dis 2…..the one that wrestled this match is still out on the floor!! Cross is now coming to his feet, as is the ref….THIS….THIS NEW DIS!! ROLLUP ON CROSS!!! THE REF DOESN’T KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON!! THE COVER!!!

ONE!!!

TWO!!!

THREEEEE!!!!

DM: Oh my God!!

(Dis 3 immediately leaps to his feet and slides out of the ring as a shocked Cross looks on. Dis 3 goes over to a slumping Dis 2 on the outside and pulls him up to his feet, hugging him.)

DT: Look at Dis 2!! He doesn’t seem to know what’s going on either!!

TF: THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH…..DIIIIIIIS TWOOOOOO!!!!!!!

(Dis 3 races around the ring to the ramp as a strange dry ice style fog begins pouring into the rampway)

DT: Dis three on the getaway and he goes right up into that fog!! Lindsay Troy is up and coming to her sense and she gives chase!! Troy into the fog as well and….out the other side???

MN: Ooooh!! Magic!!

DT: Dis 3 seems to have disappeared and Troy is left looking around!! Dis 2 now hightailing it out through the crowd and we’ve got yet another mystery on our hands!!

DM: Never a dull moment my friend!! Never a dull moment!

DT: Ladies and gentlemen, I don’t know what to make of this entire situation. All I know is that this Dis 2 has apparently caught a break with a win over Cross, even though he never pinned the man.

MN: Did you or did you not see a man in the Dis costume pin Cross?

DT: Well yes but….

MN: Case closed.

DT: Case closed my ass, Neely! There was another man in that ring and you know it!!

DM: I’m more disappointed that we didn’t get to see who Dis 2 was, and now we’re left to wonder who DIS 3 is.

DT: A mystery to be solved another day it would seem. For Mike Neely and Dean Matthews, this is Dave Thomas bidding you all farewell…..GOOD NIGHT!!!!

(Fade to Credits….and to black.)