CUT TO: Beast nailing the Absolution on Adam Benjamin.
CUT TO: Karl Brown coming off the ropes with a Quebrada.
CUT TO: Christian Sands and Lindsay Troy standing victorious in the ring.
CUT TO: Troy Douglas standing victorious on a turnbuckle.
CUT TO: Adam Benjamin delivering a Shining Wizard to Karl Brown.
CUT TO: Golem cradling his claw, smirking.
CUT TO: Boogie Smallz lighting up a blunt.
CUT TO: Lindsay Troy dropkicking Christian Sands.
CUT TO: JA and Sebastian Dodd locking up in the middle of the ring.
CUT TO: Dan Ryan sitting sedately in a chair, staring into the camera.
CUTTO: With a clash of metal, a logo slams across the screen, its edges flickering.]
(Cut to the ramp, where a wreath of pyro explodes around the EmpireTron and several bomblike, smoky explosions ripple about the entry way. The camera zooms in on the screen as the pyro finally peters out, then blurs to roving shots of the roaring crowd as a small banner in the corner briefly appears to proclaim that EPW is broadcast en Espanol. Various signs are visible in the crowd: "Dis 5" with an arrow pointing down, "Savoy is still my phenom!!", "Dodd = Workrate", "Where's Karl Brown?", "JA Is The King!", "DIS FEARS CROSS!", "Unleash the BEAST!!", and finally, "Dan Ryan Ate My Pork Chops".)
(We cut to the broadcast booth where Dave Thomas, Mike Neely and Dean Matthews sit.)
DT: Ladies and gentlemen welcome to the beautiful RCA Dome in Indianapolis, Indiana and Empire Pro’s Aggression!!!
MN: Hell yes! I brought my circa 1943 basketball and before the night is over, I will have Jimmy Chitwood’s autograph right here!!
DM: You do know that was just a movie right?
MN: Did you see the way he led Hickory to the state championship? From a school that small? Their mascot was a baby duck for crying out loud! That’s talent!
DT: Moving right along…..tonight we see Blitz return to defend the tag team titles in a big eight man tag against practically the entire Television Title field, we’ll see Foxx take on Karla Starr as well as a huge main event, where we’ll see the team of Ken Cloverleaf and AJ Cirrus take on Steven Shane, Cross and EPW World Champion Lindsay Troy.
(The Empire Tron flickers to life and we see the inside of Dan Ryan’s office. A few seconds later Paul Freeman steps in and sits down. Ryan stares at some paperwork on his desk, then glances at Paul with a raised eyebrow.)
Freeman: You uh…wanted to see me.
Ryan: Yeah Paul….(Ryan puts his pen down and sits back, giving Freemen his full attention.) As a matter of fact, I wanted to talk to you about your announcement last week. You know, the one about signing Hornet.
Freeman: Look, I meant to talk to you about that. The paperwork is all there. I covered all of my bases.
Ryan: All except I can’t get hold of the man or get any confirmation from his office in Greensboro. Seems he’s on the road right now doing some shows. Odd that he’d agree to be here during a tour.
Freeman: Look, I’ll find out what’s going on and make sure it’s all in order.
(Ryan’s eyes narrow)
Ryan: I don’t like this, Freeman.
Freeman: I’ll take care of it. I promise.
(Ryan sighs, annoyed.)
Ryan: Fine. But I want some sort of confirmation from Hornet’s people soon, or there’s gonna be trouble, Paul.
Freeman: Yes sir.
(Ryan motions to the door and Freeman stands up and exits. As he leaves, he mutters under his breath in a mocking tone “there’s gonna be trouble, Paul.” Ryan hears it but ignores it. A few moments later and his intercom buzzes.)
Ryan: Yes, Phyllis?
Phyllis: Sir, Marcus Westcott is here to see you.
Ryan: (annoyed) Fine, send him in.
(The door swings open and Beast steps in, fully confident, chest out and walks over to Ryan’s desk. Ryan looks up, not even pretending to tolerate the intrusion.)
Ryan: What….do you want?
Beast: I want my World Title shot.
(Ryan bursts to his feet in anger, surprising even Beast)
Ryan: YOU WANT YOUR….
(Ryan calms himself and sits back down, adjusting his collar.)
Ryan: You want your title shot, huh?
(Beast smirks)
Beast: Yeah, that’s what I want.
Ryan: You know what, no….no, fuck it. You have five minutes to get to the ring.
Beast: (Taken aback) Excuse me?
(Ryan stands, intense and stares a hole in the former World Champion)
Ryan: The ring….five minutes.
(Ryan crosses around Beast and storms out of the ring as in the arena the crowd cheers this development. Beast stares after Ryan as the shot cuts back to ringside.)
DT: An interesting development folks as the boss doesn’t look one bit happy.
MN: Jimmy Chitwood won’t like this either.
DM: Mike for the last time, Jimmy Chitwood isn’t….
(The broadcast crew is interrupted by the deafening roar that comes as “Zero” by Smashing Pumpkins blares over the arena speakers.)
DT: And the boss is coming to the ring!!
(Ryan stalks to the ring and slides in underneath. He paces the ring in a circle and calls for a microphone.)
Ryan: Tick tock, tick tock Beastie….you have two minutes….NO….make that ten seconds…..
(The crowd starts to count down in unison – TEN…..NINE…..EIGHT….SEVEN…..SIX ….FIVE….FOUR….THREE…..TWO…..
And then, “Figured You Out” by Nickelback comes over the speakers as Beast steps out onto the stage – gives his fans a look and a nod and then starts his way to the ring. Beast looks at Ryan the whole way, but takes a few moments to slap a few hands – including a child nearby that has a “Beast of the East” t-shirt on. A few moments later the big man climbs into the ring and starts to walk toward Dan Ryan, who raises a hand and stops him)
Ryan: Hold on just a second. I’ve got a little something for you, Marcus. I’m sorry to say that you will not be getting your World Title shot any time soon.
(Beast frowns as the crowd boos.)
Ryan: Last week, you let yourself be embarrassed….HUMILIATED…by Adam Benjamin. Tell me, Marcus – how come I left the arena last week….(Ryan raises his voice and gets right in Beast’s face)….THINKING ADAM FUCKING BENJAMIN HAD MORE BALLS THAN YOU DO?!?!
(The crowd boos again as the Beast seethes.)
Ryan: No, you don’t get a World Title shot Marcus. But yeah…you do have a match tonight. You do have a job to do. In fact…you’re gonna open the show….you’re gonna JERK THE FUCKING CURTAIN.
(LOUD boos.)
Ryan: Tonight you face….in front of this live audience, the type of opponent that you will face from now until the end of your Empire Pro contract. You will face the first in a long line of the very finest…..MIDGET WRESTLERS IN THE WORLD.
(Beast’s eyes go big as Ryan still glares at him, eyes furious)
Ryan: Tonight you make the debut of your new midget wrestling career against……BEAST-LET!!!
(Suddenly some generic rock music comes up and a diminutive man comes out on the stage, dressed just like Beast except for a short puffy tail coming out of the back of his trunks and a small bag over his shoulder. As he comes down the ramp he looks into the crowd and yells “raahrr!!” “rahrrrrr!!”)
(Cut to a shot of Beast’s face, where he stands in disbelief and we can make out the words “No way, no fucking way”)
Ryan: Good luck, Beast. It’s too bad. You coulda been a contenda….
(Ryan spikes the microphone as Beast-let climbs in playing to the crowd and holding out his “claws” toward Beast in threatening fashion.)
MN: OH MY GOD!! THAT IS CLASSIC!!! WHAT A GREAT IMPRESSION!!
DT: Are you kidding me?? He’s nothing like Beast!! Boy, I feel for this guy….
(Ryan gets to the floor and stands near the corner, hands folded over his chest. Beast for his part, simply stands in the ring dumbfounded.)
DT: This….this Beast-let guy is stalking the much much bigger Beast here….this is ridiculous…is Dan Ryan really expecting Beast to wrestle a match here??
DM: This is pure and utter humiliation, Dave…nothing more, nothing less.
DT: Beast-let now running the ropes and Beast is just standing there incredulous….Beast-let diving and….headbutt to the knee??
MN: What the hell??
DT: Beast-let grabbing his head and he’s….he’s going to that bag of his….what the heck is this….he’s….he’s pulling a….a steak from his bag???
DM: A stake?
DT: No, Dean-o….it’s a steak…a freakin’ prime rib!!
MN: Chitwood likes steak.
DT: And now he’s….he’s THROWING STEAKS AT BEAST!!!
(Beast-let throws several steaks at the big man as the crowd laughs along. Beast looks at the crowd and frowns, then looks back, visibly annoyed.)
DT: Beast getting very aggravated here….Beast-let back to the bag, pulling some sort of sign or something out…..OH MY GOD….
(A LOUD collective “OHHHH!” from the crowd as Beast-let holds a sign up with a doctored photo of Beast bent over in a maid’s dress and Adam Benjamin behind him in orgasmic glee.)
MN: Damn….even I can’t laugh at that one. Ouch.
(Beast looks at the picture as Beast-let hops around the ring showing it off to the crowd, who all laugh along. Suddenly Beast charges Beast-let and stomps him to the mat. Beast overpowers the small man very easily and pummels him in the corner.)
DT: And Beast has had enough!!
(Beast picks up Beast-let in one fell swoop and twists him over his head and spikes him down on his neck. Beast-let lies in the ring, twitching.)
DM: My God, he may have killed him!! What is Marcus Westcott thinking?? The man’s eighty pounds at most!!
(Beast slides out of the ring and goes to the Spanish announce table, clearing it with a swipe of his hand. He glares at Ryan and slides back into the ring, pulling Beast-let to his feet and hoisting him over his shoulder. Beast goes to the corner….)
DT: My God, what is he doing here?? Don’t do it, Beast!! NO!!!
(Beast gets to the tope and dives – shoulder first with Beast-let through the table and to the concrete below. Beast-let writhes on the concrete, his eyes going back in his head.)
DT: This is too much, dammit!! Too much!! Get someone out here!!
(Beast snatches up a chair and begins to drive it into the prone body of Beast-let. Beast lets up for a moment and looks down at the small man – and Beast-let uses his last energy to grab his little Beast-let tail and wave it in surrender, which further angers Beast, who drives the chair back down again and again and again.)
DM: He’s snapped!! He’s absolutely snapped!!!
DT: Medical personnel are FINALLY coming out here…it’s about damn time!!
(Beast stares down at Beast-let, eyes wide and chest heaving. He shoots a glare at Dan Ryan. “I guess I showed him”….except Dan Ryan was smiling….broadly.)
DM: And Dan Ryan is happy!!
MN: Of course he’s happy!! This is what he wanted all along!!
(Beast stares at Ryan, then turns back to Beast-let as the medics tend to him. Finally he just backs away, eyes still flashing and out of control….and walks back up the ramp, while a sound he wasn’t used to blared in his ears…..boos.)
DT: These people are letting Beast hear it, and rightfully so!! He had no reason to brutalize that poor man like that!!
(The camera catches a shot of Dan Ryan, a wide Cheshire cat grin on his face as we fade to a commercial for Empire Pro's Russian Roulette, now on DVD.)