DT: Folks, what a night this has been here already on Aggression! How about that debut for James Irish? Not to mention Mike Evers retaining in his first title defense.

DM: No doubt about it, Dave. This James Irish fellow is new to the Empire Pro ring, but he’s no stranger to the squared circle in general. The man has made a name for himself on other circuits, and now, Dan Ryan has cashed in on that talent. As for Evers, we all had a feeling about that kid. It’s good to see him do well.

MN: Talent? The guy seems to me like a poorly directed, white version of Good Times.

DM: Neels, he just defeated a man that last week was challenging Lindsay Troy for her EPW World Heavyweight Championship.

MN: A man that lost to a woman, Matthews.

DM: That “woman” has been the EPW champion for over a year.

MN: Facing guys like Big Loafy? I could beat him with both of his arms tied behind his back.

DM: I think you mean-

MN: I know what I mean, Matthews!

DM: Okay!

[Suddenly the lights of the arena go dark. "Ride of the Valkyries" pipes through the sound system as the crowd is to their feet booing the arrival of the Highland Park Social Club.]

DT: Well, here they are. The new World Tag Team Champions, Richard Farnswirth and Chip Friendly of the Highland Park Social Club.

[Richard and Chip step through the curtain, the EPW tag team titles shining around their waists. A figure trails behind them, never quite entering the spotlight that follows Richard and Chip to the ring. As they reach ringside, the figure hurries around them and hops up on the apron. Not surprisingly, it's Slambo the Clown.]

MN: These people should show more respect for the new champs!

[Slambo holds open the ropes to allow his best friends to enter the ring. Richard takes the microphone from Fatora and stands center ring waiting for the crowd to die down. The smile on his face is unmistakeable, as is the velvet bag that Chip Friendly has in his hands. Again, Slambo stands back toward a corner, avoiding the spotlight.]

RF: Well, well, well ... [The crowd continues to boo, but it doesn't deter Farnswirth.]

RF: From day one, we promised everyone here in Empire Pro - the so-called athletes in the back, you simpletons in the crowd, and the management - that we were the pre-eminent collection of talent in this business.

[Chip leans in toward the microphone.]

CF: And he means "simpletons" in absolutely the friendliest way possible.

RF: Of course I do, Chipmeister! And so has begun the hostile takeover of EPW by the HPSC. We set the goal of winning these belts, and we made it look easy. Right now, there are people back behind those curtains that are wondering just what our next goal is going to be.

DM: I'm sure they're all just shaking.

RF: But for now, we need to conduct a little business. At Unleashed, the full might of the HPSC was indeed unleashed. The THREE members of the Highland Park Social Club were victorious in a match for the tag team titles.

I'm sure it will come as no surprise to anyone that I knew exactly what I was doing when I had my lawyers draw up the contract for that match. The three of us won the titles, and therefore ... the three of us will defend them!

[Behind Richard, Slambo suddenly perks up. Richard smiles and turns to Chip, who walks up beside him.]

RF: My best friend and yours, Chip Friendly, has a little gift we'd like to present to our PARTNER. Slambo, front and center!

[Slambo nearly leaps to center ring, his energy level having tripled. He can hardly contain himself.]

DT: What's going on here? We can't have three people as "tag team" champions.

RF: Chipster, would you do the honors?

CF: Why certainly!

[Chip loosens the draw string on the velvet bag he's carrying in. With great fanfare, he reaches inside and draws out ... the most hideous excuse for a title belt you've ever seen! It appears to be a strip of tractor tire with a hubcap superglued to the center of it. Nevertheless, Slambo's eyes light up as Chip turns and presents it to him. Slambo clutches the "title belt" to his chest.]

RF: Haha, it always does my heart good to do something nice for somebody.

MN: It almost brings a tear to my eye, guys.

DM: It almost brings my lunch back up.

RF: Consider yourselves on notice, boys. The ENTIRE Highland Park Social Club are now your World Tag Team Champions.

[Richard tosses the microphone back at Tony before the triad leaves the ring to head back to their lockerroom.]

DT: So now the Club is defending under triad rules??

DM: It would certainly appear so.

MN: Why not? Slambo won the damn thing!!

[CUE UP: “Damn” by Fabolous.]

[HUGE pop.]

[As the Fab Girls let out their first “Damn,” Fabolous’s raps bring pyro around the EPWtron. It starts at the top and splits down each side before meeting again at the bottom. Fountain pyros fill the front of the stage and sides of the ramp as Steven Shane makes his way out from behind the curtain to another big pop.]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first! weighing in at two hundred fifty three pounds! from Hollywood, California! “SENSATIONALLL” STEVEEEEEENNNNNN SHAAAAAAAAAANNNNNEEE!

DT: I tell you what, we haven’t seen this guy in the ring that often in the past few weeks, but these fans certainly remember who Steven Shane is.

DM: Undoubtedly, Dave. But I think the thing that has them wrapped around his finger is his actions these past few weeks with the resident thorn in Dan Ryan’s side, Irishred.

MN: And usually, I wouldn’t agree with you on something like that, but that damn Red thinks that he can come in here and run this damn show and ruin what we’ve built up. Quite frankly, it makes me sick, and it’s good to see someone sticking up for the boss on this one.

DT: Are you just saying that because Dan Ryan signs your paycheck? Because I don’t think he really needed that.

MN: Erroneous! Erroneous on all accounts, Thomas! Dan Ryan only gets the respect he deserves from me.

DT: And a little more!

[CUE UP: "Rainmaker" by Iron Maiden.]

[Another HUGE pop.]

[Karl Brown makes his way from behind the curtain to an arena full of screaming fans. He makes his way down the ramp, Intercontinental Title draped over his shoulder. He does nothing but stare straight at Shane on his way up the steps and into the ring.]

DT: What a look of intensity from Karl Brown!

DM: These two really went at it this week, including Shane telling Karl that he lacked charisma and telling him he would be second tier his whole life.

MN: And could Shane be more right? This guy bored me on his walk to the ring, let alone when he has a microphone in his hand.

DM: But, as Karl Brown said all week, it’s in-ring ability that matters to him, and now’s the time to pay up on that charge.

[Brown pulls his title off his shoulder and hands it to the ref. The ref simply walks the title to the corner, due to the non-title stipulation. He then makes his way back to the center of the ring and calls for the bell.]

[DING DING DING]

DT: Well, here we go. We’ll now get to see just which one of these men is going to pull through on their promise and come away from this match with a victory.

DM: Going to be a classic match-up, Dave.

DT: Both competitors step to the middle of the ring. There’s a quick collar and elbow. Shane gets the advantage with that extra weight. Now he quickly locks Brown in a side headlock. Brown with quick defense as he presses his adversary off of him into the ropes.

DM: Shane rebounds, and Brown hits the deck. Shane rebounds once more, and now Brown leap frogs him! Shane rebounds once more.

DT: Hip toss! No! Reversed by Shane! No! Reversed again! Both men are now tangled in the ropes! Neither was going to give an inch on that hip toss, and now the referee must call for a break.

MN: Stop toying with him Shane! This guy’s only a champ because Ryan wants him to feel special! Now take that away from him!

DT: Both men step back to the center of the ring. Shane tries to throw a quick right, but Brown ducks it. Brown tries to throw one of his own, but now Shane blocks it! There’s another shot by Shane!

DM: But Brown ducks this one! Beautiful neckbreaker by Brown!

DT: Shane made a mistake there, and now Brown is on the offensive. He pulls Shane back up to his feet and backs him into the ropes. There’s an Irish whip.

DM: Reversed by Shane! Brown into the ropes. Shane with a back body drop.

DT: But Brown lands on his feet behind Shane! Shane spins around, and there’s a kick by Brown!

DM: But Shane blocks it! Brown is stuck here!

DT: Enziguri! NO! Shane ducked the blow! And now he quickly kicks Brown’s feet out from under him! Brown quickly gets back up to his feet, but on the opposite side of the ring from Shane!

[Crowd pop.]

MN: Karl Brown wanted to preach in-ring ability, and I believe that Shane is simply showing him here that Karl Brown isn’t the only one who can get the crowd out of their seats with great technical wrestling!

DT: But Brown isn’t going to back down by any means. He makes his way back over to Shane. But there’s a kick to the midsection by Shane! He whips Brown into the ropes!

DM: And Brown slides through Shane’s legs! Two points for that takedown from behind by Brown! Shane quickly hops back to his feet.

DT: And an armdrag by Brown! He now holds Shane to the mat with that armbar! Shane screams out in pain as Brown cranks on that shoulder socket!

DM: Brown now releases the hold and bounces off the far ropes. And now he nails the rising Shane with a knee right to the face! Shane just fell backwards and flat to his back! Brown’s going to go for the pin here!

1!

2!

Kickout by Shane!

MN: Stupid move by a stupid German! He’ll never keep Shane down this early.

DT: Neels, Brown is British.

MN: It’s all the same over there. Trust me; I’ve seen a lot of Europeans that steered clear of the Colgate, if you know what I mean.

DM: Well, this Brit is staying on the attack here as he pulls The Sensational One back up to his feet. There’s a front facelock.

DT: Nice snap suplex by the Dragon! He quickly floats over and flips Shane to lock him in a lying hammerlock! Excellent move there by the Dragon, as he continues to work on that shoulder that he started off on an armbar earlier.

DM: Well, it’s no doubt in an effort to set up that Dragon’s Bite. The weaker Shane’s shoulder is, the easier it will be to lift him for that reverse implant DDT.

DT: Well, Shane is slowly trying to work his way back up here as he is to one knee. He swings his free arm back at Brown, but the Dragon ducks the blow. Shane is in a world of trouble here if he can’t do something to get Karl Brown off him soon.

DM: Well, Shane reaches for the ropes now, but Brown has himself positioned between Shane and the ropes. There’s no way he can reach them!

MN: Don’t you two worry about Shane. He’s a ring general in there. He’ll figure something out.

DT: It certainly doesn’t look like he has any type of plan now. He’s just spreading his legs to try and at least keep a good base here against Brown’s brilliant positioning.

DM: Look out! That wasn’t just to keep a base! It was to gain leverage to push Karl Brown right back into the corner and force him to break that hold! Brown was nowhere near ready to hit that turnbuckle, and the surprise led him to break the hold!

DT: Shane is still slowed by that shoulder a bit, as he makes his way to the corner where Brown is still holding that back. There’s a stiff right by Shane. And another! And another! He may only have one arm right now, but he can certainly use it!

DM: There’s a whip across the ring to the other corner. Brown hits hard. And now here comes Shane!

DT: But Brown ducks out of the way! That injured shoulder of Shane’s runs right into that turnbuckle! There’s a roll-up by Brown!

1!

2!

NO! Shane oh so barely kicked out of that pinning predicament!

MN: Calm down, Thomas. You and I both know there is no reason to get excited about a Karl Brown near-fall. He’s not going to win this match. You heard what The Sensational One said earlier this week.

DT: Shane slowly back up to his feet as Brown waits for his opponent now. Shane is now up. He swings that right hand at Brown, but the Dragon ducks and grabs Shane from behind in a waist lock.

DM: Big German suplex by Brown! Shane just folded up like an accordion! This could be it if Brown gets the cover.

DT: But he’s not going for the win here!

MN: He’s stupid.

DT: Brown is pulling Shane back up again. There’s a forearm to the lower back, and Shane tumbles face-first into the corner. Brown reaches down and picks Shane up to the top rope.

DM: What the hell is he going to do here?

MN: I believe it’s called homicide. Are the locals around?

DT: Brown now pulls himself up and to the top rope, along with Shane. There’s another waistlock. Good God!

DM: This could be a top rope German suplex by Brown here!

DT: No! Shane held onto the ropes! Brown is pulling with all his might, but The Sensational One realized the danger he was in and held onto those ropes to block the move! Brown is going to have to do something here.

DM: Shane nails him with a back elbow! Brown is reeling on that top rope!

DT: And another! Brown goes crashing to the mat! Shane is trying to regain himself here as he stands up on that turnbuckle.

DM: Oh my God! Shane just nailed Brown with a moonsault! I’m not sure if we’ve ever seen a high-risk move like that from Shane! He’s got the cover!

1!

2!

3-NO!

DT: Wow! I do not believe that Karl Brown just kicked out of that moonsault! What a move by Steven Shane! I can’t believe he pulled off that move.

DM: Well, no secret that Shane is one hell of an athlete, but he’s not the type to bust out big moves like that. He’s more of a mat technician.

MN: The man’s got one arm, and you’re wondering why he’s flying rather than grinding Brown’s head off. Think before you speak, Matthews. Shane is something so sensational, only God can touch him. And he just proved that by showing he can do ANYTHING in that ring!

DT: Well, both men are still slowed after that move as we get back to the action. It looks like Shane will be the first to his feet. He catches Brown with a right as the I-C champ backs up a step. Brown swings back and nails Shane with a right of his own!

DM: And now Shane fires back! But so does Brown!

DT: No! Shane ducks! Kick to the midsection!

DM: DDT by Shane! Out of nowhere with that one good arm of his! Shane bounces back up here now. He could very well be feeling the energy he needs to finish off this match.

MN: He’s had the energy the whole time. He just wanted to show Karl Brown how a real man puts on a wrestling match.

DT: Brown tries to get back up, but Shane catches him and whips him into the ropes.

DM: Spinebuster! Shane just obliterated Brown’s backbone with that spinebuster! That could be it!

1!

2!

Kickout by Brown!

DT: And Shane can’t believe it! He’s really bringing it to Karl Brown here, but Brown is taking it all and then kicking out afterwards!

DM: Well, Shane is looking to finish it here. He pulls Brown up and into a standing headscissors. We all know Shane likes to set up the California Clutch with a devastating powerbomb. Shane heaves him up.

DT: But the shoulder gave out! Shane can’t get Brown up because of that injured shoulder! He tries again!

DM: But Brown reverses with a back body drop! Shane’s spine comes crashing down on the mat! Brown is wobbly, but he turns to face his rising opponent.

DT: Shane swings a right. But Brown ducks it!

DM: Russian leg sweep! Shane hits the mat hard. Brown bounces right back up and gets behind his opponent. Could it be?

DT: Dragon’s Bite! Karl Brown just nailed that dragon sleeper-slash-reverse DDT! Shane is out of it here and Brown slumps to the mat on top of him. Hooks the near leg!

1!

2!

3!

MN: The ropes! Shane got his foot on the bottom rope!

DT: And the ref is telling Karl Brown that right now! Brown didn’t have the energy to hook that far leg, and Shane managed to get that foot on the ropes! This match will continue!

DM: But how can it? These men are absolutely spent! They waged a war of words earlier this week, and now, they’ve waged a war of physicality, not sparing each other anything!

DT: Well, Brown is back up to his feet, as Shane is pulling himself up on the ropes.

DM: Brown meets Shane with a kick to the midsection. There’s an Irish whip.

DT: But Shane reverses! Brown rebounds!

DM: Tilt-O-Whirl backbreaker by Shane! How did he manage that with only one arm?

MN: Because he’s more Sensational than you’ll ever know, Matthews! Pin him Shane!

DT: Well, that doesn’t look to be happening, Neels. Both men are on the mat here. Shane is on a knee, but that’s not much further than Karl Brown, who is on his back.

[Pop.]

DM: These fans are looking for something big to happen here, and I’m sure they’re going to get it! Listen to them cheering on these two men!

DT: Shane is up, and he makes his way to the fallen Brown.

MN: Look out! He’s got that killer look in his eyes!

DT: Shane grabs Karl Brown’s legs.

DM: California Clutch! All he needs to do is turn it over here!

DT: And he does! Karl Brown is locked in that California Clutch, and he is screaming in pain!

DM: One of the most devastating submission moves of all time. Many greats have used it, including Bret Hart and Sting, both multiple time World Champions.

DT: And now Shane has it locked in here on the Intercontinental Champion, but Karl Brown is trying his best not to give up.

MN: But he’s nowhere near the ropes! Steven Shane out-sensationaled Karl Brown again here by making sure that the opponent was right in the middle of the ring. It would take a crane to pull Karl Brown close enough to the ropes to break this hold.

DT: Shane certainly has it locked in and in a good position, but Brown is not giving up. He’s making Shane earn this tap out.

DM: Don’t speak too soon though, Dave. Brown has that arm up and it looks like it could come crashing down at any minute.

MN: All he has to do is accept the fact that Shane was right and he was wrong. Slap that mat you bad-toothed moron!

DT: He’s not going to do anything like that, Neels. He’s got too much warrior in him to give this one up yet.

DM: But now he’s slumped to the mat. He might have won the mental game, but his body could have very well given out on him!

DT: The ref will do his job and check him here as he lifts up the near arm.

1!

DM: Things are looking grim now.

DT: The ref lifts the arm again.

2!

MN: It’s all over! Ring the bell now!

DM: Brown is out of it here.

DT: One last chance as the ref lifts the arm again.

MN: Here we go.

!

DT: NO! Brown catches his hand before it hits the mat! He quickly crawls for the ropes!

DM: But Shane pulls him right back to the middle of the ring! Brown is stuck again with what could have very well been his last-ditch effort!

DT: Brown raises his arm!

[DING DING DING]

MN: Yes! He tapped out!

DT: Karl Brown tapped out to the California Clutch! What a match these two just put on!

DM: Hold on a second, Dave.

TF: Ladies and gentlemen, this match has went to the full extent of the time limit. Therefore, the referee has declared this match a DRAW!

MN: What? Did the damn ref have a freakin’ stop watch? It was two more seconds and Shane had this match won! I demand a reverse decision!

DT: Rules are rules, Neels. Shane might have made Brown tap, but he didn’t get him to do it within the time limit, so the match must go down as a draw.

MN: I don’t believe this. Bush got a recount!

DM: No doubt about it though, this was an excellent match though.