DT: Well ladies and gentlemen, what a night it has been here on Aggression. This night has just been chalk full of action.

DM: Absolutely right, Dave. And now, it all culminates with this match.

DT: Troy Windham knows a lot about the CSWA Unified Title, but I’m not sure if he knows too much about the one that is on the line here tonight.

DM: I’m not sure I know too much about the title. This Professor Tremendous is certainly a character, and I’m interested in seeing how he defends this “title”.

(CUE UP: She Blinded me With Science" by Thomas Dolby melding into "Rockafeller Skank" by Fatboy Slim.)

(Professor Tremendous makes his way out from behind the curtain with his title* over his shoulder.)

MN: Who is this guy? And why do I have a feeling that Troy Windham’s absence from television this week shouldn’t worry me?

DM: I’m not too sure about that, Neels. The Good Professor has quite the track record and it will be interesting to see this match, in my opinion.

MN: Yeah, but who really cares about your opinion?

DT: Well guys, I hate to get in the middle of this, but I’ll remind you that this is why we fight the match.

DM: Excellent point, Dave.

MN: Yeah! Let’s get the real Unified Champ out here.

(CUE UP: “Beverly Hills” by Weezer.)

DT: Well guys, this is certainly going to be entertaining. I can’t wait to see what these two are going to bring to the table.

DM: This is really going to be an amazing match, regardless of what Neely thinks. Parents, you may want to put the children to bed, because this is going to be a doozy.

MN: I hate to break up this awkward man-love that you’re laying out here, Matthews, but where the hell is Troy Windham?

DT: That’s an excellent point, Neels. Windham’s music has been playing for some time, but he has yet to step through the curtain. Where the hell is he?

(The music cuts and the EPW-tron comes to life. We see none other than “The Epitome”, himself, Troy Windham sitting in a beach chair with a Hawaiian shirt covering his torso. August and Zoltan! sit on each side of him as he smiles for the camera.)

TW: Aloha, Chazz!

Anyone else find it ironic that I’m the one on the island while the Professor is stuck in the ring? Don’t worry though, I’ve been taking care of both Ginger AND Mary Ann.

(August and Zoltan! snicker off to the side while the crowd rains down with massive heat. Troy ignores them and continues.)

TW: Anyway, sorry that I couldn’t make it to our little shindig there tonight. It really pains me to not be able to show up for a match that I wasn’t even scheduled for in the first place.

But regardless of what my lovely bride wants to think, no one can make a jet just land on a very exclusive island, not even Troy Windham.

So, unfortunately, I’m going to have to take a pass on this week’s match. I hope there are no hard feelings, but I’m sure you can get someone to come take you on for that title that you use to mock the legacy that I built for the REAL title.

So, for now, aloha Good Professor…

(The EPW-tron dies as Windham fades off the screen. The shot then goes to Prof T, who just stands in the ring, obviously distraught.)

DT: What the hell? Who does Troy Windham think he is? He’s disobeying a direct order from the chairman of this company!

MN: He’s outside international waters. Does that count as breaching the contract?

DM: I’m pretty sure that the contract is a worldwide ordeal, and I’m afraid of the ramifications that Windham will face once he’s back in the continental US. But until then, who’s going to face Professor Tremendous? Are we even going to have a main event?

[Cut backstage, away from the cameras]

[Backstage in his office, Dan Ryan sits behind his desk, fingers placidly drumming the table's surface while his head rests comfortably in his other hand. His eyes lift to the clock on the wall, then back to the door, indicating that he has been in this position for longer than the camera has been on him.

Moments pass, and a knock on the door interrupts the silence. Without waiting for permission to enter, the door slowly swings open and Lindsay Troy walks in, dressed in street clothes and wearing a ballcap.]

Troy: Lombardo came by, said you wanted to talk.

Ryan: Mmhmm. Have a seat.

[She covers the distance in three steps, then flops down in one of the chairs. Silence invades the room again and it's not long before Troy mirrors Ryan's pose, dropping her head to her hand and rapping her fingers on her crossed leg. The in-laws just stare at each other and finally, Troy starts to chuckle in disgust.]

Troy: The charlatan and his lackeys didn't show up, did they?

Ryan: He just cut a sattelite feed segment to that effect.

[She sighs, agitated.]

Troy: You can go ahead and color me the complete opposite of shocked, then.

Ryan: You expected anything less?

Troy: I expect nothing from Windham anymore. But, I expect something to be done about it.

Ryan: Something will be done, which is why I wanted to talk to you.

[Lindsay shakes her head, then slams her propped limb down upon the chair's arm, her face now the mask of anger that she's grown all-too accustomed to wearing.]

Troy: You want me to bail him out? That's what this is about, isn't it? After all this bullsh*t that's been going on for months, you want me to re-take his spot against Tremendous?

Ryan (calmly): We need a main event, Lindsay.

Troy: Then give the slot to K and Kazuo, or the tag teams. At least they all showed up when they were f*cking expected to.

Ryan: Tremendous has already been making the rounds in other companies with his belt*. It's only fitting that we give him the same accommodations that others have given him.

Troy: This is a special attraction BS match, Dan, and honestly, not really all that important in the grand scheme of things. You got him here to goad Windham, and now...SHOCK!GASP!...Windham's not here. The entire planet is simply astounded at this development. What's next? Late-breaking news that the sky is blue?

Ryan: I'm asking you for a favor.

Troy: And I'm asking you to take some stock in what's happening and have some accountability held. I've been pushed for far too long, and I started turning things around when I got that farcical restraining order pulled down. If you really, really need me out there tonight, I'm getting something in return.

[Ryan's eyebrow elevates in INTRIGUE~!, and a smile draws at the corner of his mouth.]

Ryan: What'd you have in mind?

Troy: This...everything...ends at WRESTLEVERSE. My match, my stips, my rules. Just me and Windham, no one else. He brings whatever marriage license he has, and I'll bring the divorce papers.

Ryan: So a ladder match then? No DQ, No Holds Barred, No Interference.

Troy: At its simplest, yes.

[The Queen of the Ring rises from her chair and looks down at her boss.]

Troy: But I have so much more planned for him.

[Cut back to ringside, on the air]

MN: This sucks! Two of my favorite wrestlers of all time and now there's not gonna be a match??

(CUE UP: "I ****ing Hate You" by Godsmack.)

(MASSIVE pop.)

DT: What?!?! No way!

DM: It’s the EPW World Heavyweight Champion! What the hell is she doing out here?

DT: Well, she certainly did not sound like she wanted to be facing The Professor this week, so I’m not too sure what she’s doing at all.

MN: Maybe she’s come out here to apologize and announce that she, too, will be joining Mr. Windham on his vacation. She’s his wife, after all.

DT: I doubt that’s going to happen, Neels.

(Troy climbs into the ring and stares at the Professor. She then nods to the ref, who calls for the bell.)

(DING DING DING)

DT: What?!?! I guess that Lindsay Troy IS going to face Professor Tremendous here tonight!

DM: Well, this is certainly a treat for these fans here in Seattle! I can’t believe that they would try to deny this request at all!

DT: And they’re not, as they’re going nuts right now!

(LIND-SAY! LIND-SAY! LIND-SAY!)

DT: The two competitors encircle each other here as they both step to the middle and lock up in a collar and elbow.

DM: And look at this! A stalemate! Troy has the height advantage, but Professor T has about fifty pounds on her!

DT: And now they break it up! These fans are going nuts here as these two have an enormous amount of tension that you can see dancing in their eyes!

MN: I’m not too sure about, Troy. It could just be pink eye. I hear she gets “infections” a lot.

DT: I’m not too sure about that, but these two are going to try it again. They step to the middle…

DM: And they’re still not going anywhere!

DT: Not so fast, Dean. Troy with a side headlock! She cranks on the Professor’s head, but now he backs her into the ropes and uses them as a springboard to press of the World Heavyweight Champ! Troy hits the opposite ropes and rebounds…

DM: Big shoulder block by Troy, but neither wrestler budges!

DT: She’s going to try it again, Dean. She bounces off the ropes again…

DM: But again they stand toe-to-toe!

DT: And Troy just won’t take no for an answer. She hits the ropes one more time…

DM: And she goes flying for that one and sends Professor Tremendous to the mat with a flying shoulder block!

DT: Troy quickly gets back to her feet and hits the ropes again…

DM: Big front-flip leg drop by Troy! She goes for the quick pin…

1…

2…

Kickout!

DT: Troy going for the early pinfall here, but to no avail. She stays on the offensive, though, and pulls Tremendous back up to his feet. Big knife-edge chop there as Tremendous stumbles back. Troy reaches back and nails him one more time as she backs the CSWA* champ into the ropes. She grabs him by the arm and gives him a whip across the ring…

DM: Textbook hurricanrana by Troy! She’s really showing Tremendous what life in EPW is really like.

DT: And now a standing shooting star press by the champ! She holds for the pin…

1…

2…

But Professor Tremendous kicks out again!

DM: Troy isn’t happy with the resiliency of Professor Tremendous at all, but she is not going to slow down on him at all.

DT: Absolutely not, as she pulls him back up to his feet again. There’s a stiff right hand. Followed by another!

MN: Ref! Can we stop these closed fists?!

DT: Well, the ref isn’t really saying anything and that’s not stopping the EPW World Heavyweight Champion! She nails him with another! She cocks back one more time…

DM: But Tremendous ducks! He steps through behind Troy.

DT: And Troy turns around right into a kick to the midsection, followed by a DDT!

DM: Professor Tremendous really came out of nowhere with that move, but it may have taken just a bit out of him as well, as both of the competitors are down now!

DT: The Good Professor won’t stay down long though, as he pulls himself back up with a little bit of help from the ropes. Troy is also getting back up…

DM: But Tremendous sends her right back down with a double axe handle to the back!

DT: Tremendous steps around behind the fallen Troy now. He reaches down and locks her in a vicious chinlock!

DM: Troy is screaming out in pain here as she tries her damndest to try and find the ropes to break this hold!

DT: She’s really stretching here. Can she…

DM: Yes! Troy gets to the ropes and The Professor must break the chinlock.

DT: But he’s not going to let Troy get back up to her feet cleanly! He drills her with a kick to the side of the head that sends her back to the mat.

MN: This guy is smart. I think I know why they call him Professor.

DT: You’re just now figuring that out?

MN: Oh yeah, like you knew already, Thomas.

DM: Well, actually-

MN: Can we get back to the action?

DT: Sure thing, Neels. Tremendous is pulling Troy back up here. He pulls her into a standing front facelock…

DM: Big sitdown front brainbuster by Tremendous!

DT: He’s got this one won! There’s the pin…

1…

2…

3!

NO!!! Lindsay Troy JUST got her foot on the ropes!

MN: Are you sure? I think she was late!

DT: I’m not sure either, Neels. But it doesn’t matter what we think. The ref says she got the foot on the ropes, so there is no pin.

DM: And Tremendous is very frustrated here. He’s agreeing with you, Neels.

DT: But he’s not going to let it affect him as he pulls himself back up, followed by Troy. The champ swings a right, but Tremendous ducks it…

DM: German suplex! Tremendous bridges…

1…

2…

Kickout by Troy!

DT: Another nearfall, but the champ is able to get out of it again.

MN: Is the ref watching her shoulders or her boobs? This is ridiculous!

DT: Well, she was clearly up on that one.

MN: Says you and the ref. Pervs!

DT: Tremendous pulls Troy back up again now. But there’s a right to the midsection! And another! Lindsay Troy is trying to fight her way out of this…

DM: HUGE roundhouse kick there by Troy! Tremendous just crumpled to the mat like a ton of bricks! Both competitors go down as they try to regain their bearings!

DT: Well, they’re both stumbling up here as it looks like Tremendous is going to get the edge, but Troy isn’t far behind. They make one final shake of the cobwebs, but Troy is hitting the ropes! She rebounds…

DM: Front flip neckbreaker by Troy!

DT: And it’s like the champ has been totally revitalized here! She hops back to her feet and looks to have a lot of enthusiasm as she waits for Tremendous to get back to his feet…

DM: He’s up! Troy sneaks around behind him…

DT: Reverse suplex forward slam! Troy’ going to make the cover…

1…

2…

Kickout!

DM: Both of these competitors are going through their entire repertoire, but are also refusing to let the other get the pin!

DT: This has been one hell of a match, but I must say, I’m extremely anxious to see what it’s going to take just to get one of these two to stay down for a three count!

MN: And I’m anxious to see what it’s going to take to keep you from sounding like a damn fanboy every time Lindsay Troy steps into the ring!

DT: She’s the EPW World Heavyweight Champion, Neels! How could you not be excited?

MN: I see Lindsay Troy matches like a trip to the dentist. You always feel better afterward, but you never wanted to go in the first place.

DT: I don’t know about you, Neels. But what I do know is that Lindsay Troy has pulled Professor Tremendous back up again here. She whips Tremendous into the corner…

DM: And then follows him in with a big clothesline!

DT: And now Troy is picking Tremendous up to the top rope.

DM: She could be looking for the “All Hail the Queen” here.

DT: Troy climbs up with him…

DM: But Tremendous catches her with a right to the midsection! And another! He pushes Troy off the top rope!

DT: And now he perches as he waits on her to get back up…

DM: Rocker dropper! Tremendous just jumped off the top rope and nailed Troy with that Rocker dropper! There’s the pin…

1…

2…

3-NO! Troy JUST kicked out!

DT: I cannot believe this action! What is it going to take with these two?

DM: I’m not sure. Wonderful action here.

DT: Troy starts to stumble up now…

DM: But Tremendous sends her right back down with a bulldog!

DT: And now he’s hovering over the champ. Could it be…

DM: The Final Exam! Tremendous locks in that inverted STF!

DT: But look at that! Troy is instantly in the ropes for the break! Great awareness there by Lindsay Troy!

DM: And look at the frustration on The Professor’s face! He can’t believe that Troy got the break on that!

DT: Well, he pulls the champ back up here. He nails her with a stiff slap to the face as he backs her into the ropes! There’s an Irish whip…

DM: Spinning heel kick by Troy to reverse it! How did she do that?

DT: I have no idea, but she is clearly in control now! She makes her way back up as she looks to go to the corner here. She pulls herself to the top rope, where she waits on Tremendous to get back up…

DM: The Crowning Glory! Troy just nailed Tremendous with that corkscrew moonsault into a DDT! She’s going to make the pin…

1…

2…

3!!!

MN: What?!?! Professor’s foot was on the ropes!

DT: I don’t think the referee saw it, Neels!

MN: Oh yeah, of course! But he saw when Troy’s foot was on there two seconds AFTER the three!

TF: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner… and NEW CSWA Unified* Champion… Lindsay Troy!

MN: I don’t believe this! This is a travesty! After the amazing effort that Tremendous put up against Troy Windham in Rio de Janeiro and then this wench comes in and steals the title in a match that wasn’t even scheduled! This was supposed to be the rematch!

DT: Actually, it was initially Troy versus Tremendous.

MN: But they changed it! It was supposed to be Tremendous/Windham II!

DT: I’m not too sure about the validity of Tremendous/Windham I.

MN: Of course you’re not. You’re always the one in question…

(CUE UP: She Blinded me With Science" by Thomas Dolby melding into "Rockafeller Skank" by Fatboy Slim.)

DT: What the hell? Why are they playing Professor Tremendous’s music?

MN: It’s another referee! And this time, it’s a CSWA “official”. Maybe we can get some justice here!

DM: That’s no referee! It’s the Team Tremendous midget! What the heck is he doing?

DT: Well, he’s got a microphone and he’s entering the ring.

(The midget looks to Troy and gives her a motion, as if to say “May I?”. Troy obliges and hands him the CSWA Unified* Title.)

Midget: Ladies and gentlemen, as the “official” CSWA referee on hand tonight, it gives me great pleasure to give to you, our NEW CSWA Unified* Champion…

PROFESSOR TREMENDOUS!

DT: What? Troy just won the title!

(Troy stares at the midget in shock as he drapes the title over the still-fallen Prof T.)

Midget: Mrs. Troy-Windham, we at the CSWA would like to thank you for participating tonight and really lighting this EPW crowd on fire.

I really wish that I could grant you the belt after your three-count, but due to The Good Professor’s foot being on the ropes while the three was counted, I cannot honor this title switch.

Therefore, Professor Tremendous will continue as the CSWA Unified* Champion until your husband decides he wants a rematch. However, we do encourage you to try your hand again as well, as I’m sure that our champ would welcome you again, just like he does all comers.

(CUE UP: She Blinded me With Science" by Thomas Dolby melding into "Rockafeller Skank" by Fatboy Slim.)

DT: I don’t believe what I just saw! Lindsay Troy was just stripped of the CSWA Unified* Title!

DM: It looks like Professor Tremendous has stolen another win!

DT: Par for the course, Dean. The man doesn't know how to act honestly.

DM: Great match though! And it's hard to get upset about not winning a belt that's really not his to defend anyway.

DT: True enough, Dean. So Lindsay Troy standing tall tonight....

(Cut to Lindsay Troy leaning on the ropes looking at Team Tremendous as they back up the ramp with smiles on their faces. The fans boo them as they go, but erupt in cheers when Lindsay Troy thrusts her EPW World Title into the air and climbs a turnbuckle.)

DT: That's all from Seattle, Washington! Next week, Wrestleverse! For Dean Matthews and Mike Neely I'm Dave Thomas...good night!!

(Fade to copyright info)