[CUE UP: "Imperial March" - Rage Against the Machine. A video montage plays, featuring smoke-wreathed images of various wrestlers, some of them leaving blurred trails as they move.
CUT TO: Beast nailing the Absolution on Adam Benjamin.
CUT TO: Karl Brown coming off the ropes with a Quebrada.
CUT TO: Steven Shane standing victorious in the ring.
CUT TO: JA delivering the Karelin Driver to Ron Artest
CUT TO: Adam Benjamin delivering a Shining Wizard to Karl Brown.
CUT TO: Joey Melton, mugging for the crowd.
CUT TO: An unhappy IrishRed stomping Wong-Pei.
CUT TO: Lindsay Troy dropkicking Beast.
CUT TO: JA and Sebastian Dodd locking up in the middle of the ring.
CUT TO: Troy Windham, mugging with the Entourage.
CUT TO: Dan Ryan sitting sedately in a chair, staring into the camera.
CUT TO: With a clash of metal, a logo slams across the screen, its edges flickering.]

[Cut to the ramp, where a wreath of pyro explodes around a scaled down EmpireTron and several bomblike, smoky explosions ripple about the entry way. The camera zooms in on the screen as the pyro finally peters out, then blurs to roving shots of the roaring crowd as a small banner in the corner briefly appears to proclaim that EPW is broadcast en Espanol.]

[We cut to the broadcast booth where Dave Thomas, Mike Neely and Dean Matthews sit.]

DT: Welcome to Aggression 29!!! We are live from the Summit Activities Center in Yankton, South Dakota – the home of assumedly our new owner for the next six months, IRISHRED!

MN: This place is going to hell in a handbasket, Thomas. I think I saw two bikers having sex in the concession area…

DM: Someone watched Happy Gilmore last night.

MN: Huh?

DT: Regardless….. [“Zero” by Smashing Pumpkins starts up and a deafening roar from the crowd erupts as Thomas tries to speak over the fans. A loud chant begins around the Yankton crowd: ‘Red owns Ryan (clap clap clap clap clap)’ repeatedly] …as Mojo said, Dan Ryan is on his way to the ring!!

[Ryan ignores the crowd and slides in under the ring, taking special care not to disturb the papers in the envelope he’s carrying. His trademark smirk however is absent, as Ryan has a very serious, almost dejected look on his face. A table is already set up in the ring, conference room style and Ryan sits at one end, placing the paperwork on the table in front of him with a sigh.]

DM: Boy, I’ve never seen the boss like this!

DT: Maybe because he’s not gonna be the boss for much longer!

[“Bad Company” by Bad Company starts to play over the loudspeakers. On the screen the name Irishred in blood red is shown across six four leaf clovers. As Music starts red and green pinpoint spots crisscross the arena and track Irishred as he walks out onto the main stage. The crowd simply erupts for its hometown hero, and Irishred smiles broadly as he looks into the crowd, then closes his eyes and takes in a deep breath as if doing so for the first time, and with a grin opens them and stares with a Cheshire Cat expression straight at Dan Ryan, who upon seeing this sighs again and closes his eyes, leaning his head back in his chair mid-ring. A green cloverleaf spotlights on the center of the ring, right over the table as Irishred enters, stands with his head back and closed fists touching each other in front of his chest. When he spreads his arms wide the cloverleaf turns to red and he stands there, grinning at the opposite end of the table from Dan Ryan.]

[Loud chanting: “IRISH-RED! IRISH-RED! IRISH-RED!”]

[A microphone for each man is at opposite ends of the table as well. Ryan picks up his, lying next to the folder.]

Ryan: Fine. [Chanting continues] FINE. Go ahead! Rub it in! [Cheering gets louder while a camera shot shows Irishred smiling and nodding his head.] I’m not gonna drag this out, Red. You won, alright? Let’s get this over with.

[Irishred pulls out a long executive pen, and strides over to where Ryan sits and holds it out. Ryan stares daggers in the hometown hero, but eventually reaches out and quickly snatches it from his hand.]

[Irishred waves his arms at the crowd, egging them on. “IRISH-RED!! IRISH-RED!! IRISH-RED!!]

[Ryan twists the pen slightly, exposing the point and opens the folder, finding the spot on the paperwork where his signature is required. He puts the pen down toward the paper, bringing it to within a millimeter of the document….

…and stops.]

Ryan: [Dropping the pen and rising to his feet suddenly.] You know….

[Loud boos as Irishred’s eyes narrow.]

Ryan: …I almost forgot about something I felt I needed to inform you about before we do the transfer of power, Red. I would be remiss in my responsibility if I didn’t share with you some of the things you need to know to effectively lead – if I didn’t set up the proper framework to ensure your success as it were.

[Irishred looks on impatiently as the crowd boos.]

Ryan: See, the pressures of running a wrestling company all by yourself can drive a man crazy. I mean, the sleepless nights, the worry about buyrates and ticket sales, keeping the talent happy – it’s enough to drive a man crazy. And you know, I have about five minutes left as owner….and I really feel like with the way the stress has been getting to me lately I need some help in my ownership duties…

DT V/O: But he’s not even gonna be owner!!

DM V/O: Shh Thomas!!

Ryan: And like I said before, I would be …well just plain irresponsible if I were to pass this stress onto you during your stint as owner.

[Irishred looks on confused, not happy with this turn of events, but not yet sure where it’s going.]

Ryan: So, what I’ve decide to do is to create some positions on the company payroll. Some staff, as it were. See, I need help as owner. It’s hard! Damn hard! So I’ve decided to create a Chairman position.

DT V/O: A chairman?? What is he talking about??

MN V/O: Oh I hope this is going where I think it’s going…

[Irishred is seen, getting angrier and angrier.]

Ryan: [For the first time, the smirk is seen – as Ryan’s eyes narrow with a sinister grin.] And this chairman, Red? I’m giving him equal powers to book, hire, pay and otherwise run my company should I need such help.

[Loud boos as Irishred flips out, screaming in Ryan’s direction that he can’t do that, that’s it’s in violation of their agreement, etc.]

Ryan: Whoa whoa whoa!! Settle down! You’re not owner yet!! You’re not owner yet, Red!! You don’t tell me what to do! Not yet, buddy!! Yeah! That’s right! In five minutes, Red!! When I sign on the dotted line, you may be owner but guess what?? You’ve got a new partner.

DT V/O: What an unbelievable turn of events!!!

MN V/O: Dan Ryan is brilliant!!!

Ryan: AND NOW…. [Ryan waves dramatically to the crowd.] …I’d like to introduce to you the new Chairman of….

[“Damn” by Fabulous starts up – and Steven Shane struts down the ramp with a big smile on his face.]

DT: Steven Shane!! The new chairman is Steven Shane!!

DM: Oh man, Irishred is not gonna like this one bit!!!

[Shane strides confidently to the ring, while a shot of Ryan sees him looking at Shane oddly. Shane goes right up to Ryan and gives him a big hug, saying ‘I won’t let you down’ but Ryan stops him short. Shane looks at him, confused.]

Ryan: Uh…Steven, what’re you doing here?

SShane: Whattyou mean, what am I doing here? I’m the new Chairman…..[beat]…I am the new Chairman…right?

Ryan: Well actually…..no.

[Shane’s eyes go wide with shock. The crowd gives a loud mixed reaction as Irishred just looks on, continuing to fume.]

Ryan: BUT! You reminded me. I'm also creating a secondary position. Vice President of Operations - who will work under my new chairman. That man, Steven...is you.

SShane: Wait just a second. You mean to tell me that after all this time, running interference for you and staying loyal to the company, you’re passing me up for this?? Are you ****in’ kidding me?

Ryan: Now Shane – you’ve been loyal, it’s true. But I never promised…

[Irishred’s eyebrows raise, still upset but a little curious about this exchange.]

SShane: [getting in Ryan’s face, to the approval of the crowd] “YOU NEVER PROMISED? AND WHO EXACTLY IS MORE FIT FOR THIS JOB THAN ME?!?”

Ryan: [Stepping back and pointing around behind Shane to the ramp.] “He is…”

[“Sober” by Tool.]

DT: Wait a second…that music. Somebody…wait… no way….

MN: What??

DM: Oh I can’t BELIEVE this!!

MN: What?!?! Who is it??

[The music plays and the crowd stands to his feet buzzing, as everyone in the ring is focused on the entrance-way.

Then, a figure emerges from the curtain – wearing a Municipal Waste t-shirt, and in street clothes otherwise. A gasp of shock suddenly fills the arena and jaws drop as thousands of people look at a man they never expected.

ANARKY.

MN: WAIT!! Anarky?? Wait, what???

DT: Holy ****….

DM: Sponsors!!

DT: To hell with sponsors!!

[The crowd buzzes like Elvis just rose from the dead and walked into the arena – not sure what to do. Steven Shane just stares, fazed beyond believe and Irishred does likewise, not knowing what to think. Anarky comes down the ramp in full skull face paint and slides into the ring, calmy as can be and takes the mic from a smiling Dan Ryan, who backs off and gives him the floor.

Anarky continues a stare at Ryan, then turns and looks Irishred dead on.]

ANARKY: "Y'know, 'Red... life's funny.

"There I am, watching my home rot into a cesspool of cancelled gigs and false promises...

"And the days wore on and on. And the need grew greater. And so it went.

"But as fate would have it, my phone would ring, and who would be on the other end of that line? None other than my good friend, Dan Ryan.

"Now, normally, I'd have hung up the phone and gone back to burning down orphanages... but he asked me such a strange question. He wanted to know if I could help remove a problem that had a arisen. A disturbance, if you will.

"As you can imagine, I laughed in his face. Who the f*ck is Irishred and why the F*CK do I care?"

[Boos.]

ANARKY: "Then Dan says... the company's yours. Consider him a gift. EPW is the tool through which you may... show him how we operate.

"Well then, 'Red... then a great big smile came across my face.

"Oh yes. Chairman Anarky. I like the sound of that.

"It is unfortunate for you, 'Red, that this is how we should meet. I don't really know you... I certainly don't care about what you've done, so don't bother telling me. I see you've annoyed Dan Ryan where he's going to pay me quite handsomely merely to make you my little plaything. My dolly.

"My precious.

"Oh yes, Red. You don't know me... because you and I have never been together before now. You're a virgin, to me, you see. And in my eyes, that makes you special.

"The gleam still fills your eyes with hope, and you think this game can be won...

"Savor this moment, Red.

"Oh, and one more thing.

"Dan Ryan has had many... glowing... things to say about your performance thus far. Do not disappoint me. I repeat.

"Do... not... disappoint me. For if you do... if you prove to be weak, like the rest... if you prove to be nothing more than another walking carcass, flapping his gums about what he's done or how he's the exception...

"... then I will make you pay. Again. And again. And again. And you will BEG ME... for mercy.

"But I am not a merciful man, Red. I am not... capable.

"So you see, this is who I am. But it can't be explained, Red. Only felt. Only breathed... and impaled, of course.

"Don't worry about it, Red. None of this is fair anyway. Like I said, the deck's stacked. You're just here to get your ass kicked and shut the f*ck up, so... "

[Anarky lets out a yell as he leaps onto Irishred savagely with rights and lefts and tackles him to the ground. Within seconds, Dan Ryan is also on him, kicking him in the ribs, the head, anything he can get to. Steven Shane looks on in simple shock as this goes on, not knowing how to react….]

DT: OH MY GOD!! ANARKY JUST JUMPED IRISHRED!! DAN RYAN IS IN ON IT TOO!! THIS IS MAYHEM!! THIS IS….WELL…ANARCHY!!!!

[Shane, finally goes over and joins in as all three men wail away on Irishred. Ryan and Shane step back finally, Ryan’s chest heaving in anger as Anarky drives fist after fist into the now bloody head of Irishred, who at this point is simply trying to cover up. Anarky grabs anything he can find, the chair closest to him in the ring, the very table itself which he tips over on top of Red. Ryan, stalks over to the table and picks the pen and the microphone back up, and goes over to Red again, pulling Anarky up and off of him and getting right in his face, blood pooling all over the mat.]

DT: My God!! Someone get Irishred some help in there!! He’s busted wide open!!

Ryan: YOU DON’T BEAT ME!! YOU HEAR ME, YOU BACKWOODS BADLANDS JACKASS?!?!

[LOUD boos, which Ryan ignores]

Ryan: YOU THINK YOU’RE GONNA OUTSMART ME?!?! YOU DON’T OUTSMART ME!!! I’M IN CONTROL HERE, RED!! YOU HEAR ME??? I’M IN CONTROL!! YOU WANT TO RUN THE COMPANY?!?! YOU WANT THESE PAPERS SIGNED???

[Ryan digs the pen into Irishred’s forehead, coating it in blood as Red screams his head off in the ring and tries to fight him off. Ryan gets up suddenly and stalks back over to the paperwork, signing his name quickly in a mixture of blood and ink.]

Ryan: [slamming the pen down in Red’s face, who at this point is too delirious to respond.] There!! The company’s yours.

[Anarky snatches the mic out of Ryan’s hand as Ryan leaves the ring.]

Anarky: And Red… try and clean yourself up. You're in the main event against Steven Shane in the first round....

[Anarky once again drives the corner of the wooden table into Irishred’s throat, prompting Ryan to turn and pull him off, all the while Anarky spitting and cursing at Red on the canvas.]

[Medical personnel rush to the ring and slide in, with Ryan, Shane and Anarky safely out. The three men are seen walking up the aisle, Anarky with a disgusted snarl in Red’s direction. Shane still dazed and Ryan not even looking, but staring forward as he walks toward the top of the ramp. The crowd boos heavily until……

LOUD pop as Beast comes barreling out from the top of the stage and stops dead in his tracks in front of the three men, who all come to focus on him. Slowly, the men part. Anarky stares right at him, Ryan smirks and Shane smiles as they allow him to walk through, turning to cover his back, then turning and breaking into a sprint to the ring to check on Irishred. Beast checks on the new owner and glares back up as the three men exit.]

DT: Folks, we’ve gotta take a break after this. I can’t believe what just happened.

DM: There’s just too much to go over, Thomas. I can’t digest it all!

DT: We’ll be right back!!