Empire Pro Aggression

Blaine Richards used to be a devilish warrior, one whose name struck fear and awe into his opponents. Now he was older. Much older.

His hair fell down around to his shoulders, curled to a degree and whitened to a perfect age. His face, once strong and proud, still had a look of strength to it, but was noticeably old. He walked with a particular limp derived from the endless beatings and battles he had almost succumbed to, but he hid it as well as he could. For now, he would live through another warrior. One that he believed had the potential greater than his own.

Blaine Richards: Andrew…

He opened the door just a crack. As he looked in, Arson Zanders was found slumped over in his chair with a bottle in his hand.

Blaine Richards: [annoyed] Jesus Christ…

He closed the door quickly and walked over to Arson, grabbing the bottle from Andrew, whose lips made a sucking sound once separated.

Arson looked over at Blaine with sunken eyes.

Arson Zanders: I thought I told you to never call me Andrew. The name’s Arson.

Blaine Richards: [smugl] I remember. Although I still don’t agree with you taking that god awful name. Lord knows your parents knew what they were doing when they named you.

Arson Zanders: [scoffs] My parents…My parents are bigger screw ups than I am. Do you realize how bad they are off?

Blaine Richards: [angrily points to the bottle] Probably a bit better than sucking this crap up. God, I thought we had discussed this already.

Arson Zanders: [nods lazily] We did.

Blaine Richards: And what did we agree on?

Arson Zanders: No more booze.

The truth was so obvious, but it was not setting in with Arson. Blaine looked on with an almost sympathetic look, but just shook his head in disgust.

Blaine Richards: Arson, you’ve got to pull yourself together. This can’t keep happening.

Arson Zanders: And it won’t.

Arson stumbles to his feet, using the chair for support. He almost toppled over, prompting Blaine to come over quickly and balance the young fighter.

Arson Zanders: …this was just a quick side trip.

Blaine Richards: Yeah, a side trip to Hell.

Arson Zanders: Maybe I should ask my mum how it’s like before I go there. Lord knows she’s had quite a bit of experience herself with the ol’ bottle…

He chuckled at the thought.

Blaine Richards: What’s gotten you so upset? You were fine when we made it to the arena tonight.

Arson shrugged off his long time trainer, spitting onto the ground.
Arson Zanders: People like Daymon have gotten to me. Punks like that should be dealt with, Zanders style.

Blaine Richards: What the hell are you talking about?

Arson shakes his head, remembering the days when he used to wander the streets of Chicago as a teenager. How spare change was like the gods smiling down upon him for some good deed he had forgotten he had done.

Arson Zanders: I just got here, and look what I find. Nakita, just another bastard with no credibility. I think I’m about to pick my first fight, Blaine.

Blaine Richards: [cautions Arson] Be careful. From what I’ve heard, this girl is no joke. She may be a woman, but she’ll knock you out in less than a minute.

With a chuckle, Arson punches a hole into the wall, with pieces of plaster and paint coming off from his hand.

Arson Zanders: Let her try. But I think it’ll be the other…other…other…way around…

Arson fell to his knees, unable to keep himself balanced. Blaine took out two pills and placed them in Arson’s hands. He whispered in his ear.

Blaine Richards: Take these pills. They’ll help with the hangover. Go to the lounge and get some food in your stomach. Get yourself together. I want you in the front row with me tonight when we scout out the talent.

Blaine left the pills in Arson’s hands as he got up and left for the door. He looked back and watched Arson stir briefly.

He’ll get up. Even though he’s done, Arson always gets back up.

[CUE UP: "Imperial March" - Rage Against the Machine. A video montage plays, featuring smoke-wreathed images of various wrestlers, some of them leaving blurred trails as they move.
CUT TO: Beast nailing the Absolution on Adam Benjamin.
CUT TO: Karl Brown coming off the ropes with a Quebrada.
CUT TO: Steven Shane standing victorious in the ring.
CUT TO: JA delivering the Karelin Driver to Ron Artest
CUT TO: Adam Benjamin delivering a Shining Wizard to Karl Brown.
CUT TO: Joey Melton, mugging for the crowd.
CUT TO: An unhappy IrishRed stomping Wong-Pei.
CUT TO: Lindsay Troy dropkicking Beast.
CUT TO: JA and Sebastian Dodd locking up in the middle of the ring.
CUT TO: Troy Windham, mugging with the Entourage.
CUT TO: Dan Ryan sitting sedately in a chair, staring into the camera.
CUT TO: With a clash of metal, a logo slams across the screen, its edges flickering.]

DT: Ladies and gentlemen welcome to the Wells Fargo Arena in Des Moines, Iowa and Empire Pro Wrestling’s Aggression 30!! I’m your party host, Dave Thomas. With me as always are Dean Matthews and the one and only Mike Neely!

MN: I’ve never seen so much friggin’ corn in my entire life! Have you two been outside? I think I got dive bombed by a flock of crows for crying out loud!

DM: You’re lucky they didn’t leave a souvenir on your shoulder while flying overhead. They could’ve…..wait, weren’t you wearing a different shirt earlier tonight?

MN: Yes.

[Matthews just smiles.]

MN: Shut up, Dean.

[“Sober” by Tool kicks up over the speakers and the crowd stands to its feet as Anarky steps out onto the stage and walks to the ring. He offers up no fanfare and simply calls for a mic.]

ANARKY: "Welcome, ladies and gentlemen... to the NEW Empire Pro Wrestling.

"You and I have just begin what I hope will be a most... rewarding relationship. You see, the old management... well, let's face it: business just wasn't taken care of like it should've been.

"Instead, certain... sores.. were allowed to grow, like a fungus. A plague on this league. For now, though, Mr. Red has been left... half the man he was.

"Sorry, Red. You know how it is. Play with fire, get burned, right?"

[Boos.]

ANARKY: "Now, the past is the past. And Red, you WILL pay for your transgressions.

"But first, I must deal with something else. You see, it isn't enough to stand here, before you, barking orders and exposing the lies perpetrated by this league.

"No, my friends, things are going to change around you. You want a piece of me? You can come and get it like everyone else.

"Now, I could start at the bottom, beating on nobodies like Rocko Daymon and Beau Michaels.

"But... I just feel... it won't give me what I need.

"Long has it been since I felt that sweet taste... the pure sound of bones cracking... the begging of mercy.

"Beast.

"You and I... we have unfinished business. You see, not so long ago, yoU SHOULD have had your ass handed to you. But no. You escaped my tainted caress.

"But things have begun anew, and let no sin go unpunished.

"Beast, I'm going to give you a chance. Let's face it... you? You're no match for me. A weak, spineless little coward.

"So you and I and another man... we shall have a three-way dance at the next Aggression. Oh yes, my friend.

"Who shall it be....... hm. Steven Shane?"

[Incredibly loud boos.]

ANARKY: "No, Beast... too f*cking easy. Y'know what? I'm gonna let you pick.

"Go ahead. Pick someone. Anyone. I don't give a f*ck.

"Because I'm gonna hunt you down like the dog you are. And I'm going to show this entire LEAGUE how the new EPW runs. I'm going to show you what happens when some half-assed talent thinks it's something it isn't.

"Beast, the clock is ticking. You can pick whomever you like. Makes no difference to me.

"Because this is MY league now. This is MY home. Not yours. Not Red's. Not anyone's.

"This all belongs to me now...

"... you just don't see it yet."

[Anarky is interrupted as the lights in the arena turn red and white.]

MN: Who DARES interrupt The Chairman?

[The sound of chanting monks fill the arena, and fade out into Nickelback's "Figure You Out", and the crowd lets out a HUGE pop as Beast steps through the curtain, wearing a blue security officer's uniform, and carrying a clipboard full of papers.]

MN: Oh, jeez, it's Loafy. Why did he have to ruin a great moment like this? And what's with the gay getup?

DT: Oh come on, Neely, will you shut up for a moment? I'm sure there's a reason why Beast is out here.

MN: Yes. To torment us, I'm sure.

Beast: 'Narko, dear boy, I'm SURE you've got a lot of business to take care of, now that Red's out injured. I mean, now that you've got all the STROKE around here, and I'm sure your ego isn't going to stroke itself, and neither is your shriveled penis...

[Crowd pops, and Anarky simply smirks at Beast, though his eyes tell a different story.]

Beast: ...you must be a REALLY busy man. Or, is that what your little assistant Shane is for? And here I thought Dan just hired him for his good looks and typing speed. But enough of that... I've got some business to take care of.

[Beast holds up the clipboard in the air.]

Beast: This right here is a signed order from Irishred himself. Since he can't be here to properly fulfill all of his duties, he asked me to help him out.

DT: For those of you that don't know, Irishred is home with a broken leg and a concussion, most likely suffered at the hands of those men in the ring themselvs, along with Dan Ryan.

MN: You hush. Not a damned thing's been proven, so unless you've got some real proof, I suggest you shut your mouth before Anarky does it for you.

Beast: I couldn't possibly say no to the man that hates Dan Ryan's guts just as much as I do, so I guess you could say I've been DEPUTIZED.

DT: What the hell?

Beast: As per Irishred, I have accepted the position as HEAD OF EPW SECURITY!

[Anarky looks at Beast, a little confused.]

MN: Well, that explains the gay uniform.

Beast: Listen up. That means that whenever a couple of jackoffs like you and Dan Ryan decide to get a little out of hand, I'M going to be there to restore order. I'm the head Enforcer hombre. That means that anytime anyone tries to take things into their own hands, that they're going to have to go through ME to do it. I'm here to uphold Red's ideals and keep you ass-clowns in check. I'm here to keep this company from spiraling out of control, and make sure your heads don't get any bigger than they already are.

[Anarky heads to the ring ropes and leans over them, pointing a finger at Beast.]

Anarky: Head of Security, huh? Head Enforcer? That’s something I’d like to see you try. Try enforcing me, Beast. Make a wrong move, and you're going to PAY for it.

Beast: I'm looking forward to it. As for your match suggestion?? You've got it. You'll get your three way dance, and I'll announce the third person this week. Til then....chairman.

["Figure You Out" plays over the PA again, and Beast leaves the stage, leaving Anarky staring after him.]

Tape Delay From the Far East..
"The Ego Buster" Dan Ryan vs. Ling-Long, the Double Amputee

DT: Folks, our next match was supposed to come to you LIVE, but unfortunately, due to rules of international waters; we could not have a floating ring with lights in the middle of the ocean at night.

DM: But never one to disappoint, we here at EPW were able to have a ring in the middle of the ocean in the middle of the day. Therefore, the match that you are about to see is videotaped. However, we will be watching along with you and making all the calls.

MN: Yes! There’s nothing like calling a match that’s already happened.

DT: Is that sarcasm, Neels?

MN: Me? Nooooo…

DT: Well folks, we see that Dan Ryan and Ling-Long are already in the ring here.

DM: And Ling-Long certainly seems to be having a time simply standing up here. How the hell is he going to actually wrestle “The Ego Buster” here?

MN: Maybe he’s going to smell him to death with the nose he doesn’t have.

DT: Certainly an interesting strategy, Neels. But I doubt that’s going to happen. The two step to the middle of the ring here as the ref calls for the bell…

DM: And Ling-Long catches Ryan with a right hand that caught The Ego Buster on the blindside! And now another!

DT: Ling-Long looks to be taking it to Ryan here. He hops to the ropes. And now he rebounds…

MN: Can you really call that a rebound?

DT: Well, Ling-Long comes off the ropes…

DM: OH MY GOD! Dan Ryan just took Ling-Long’s head off with a devastating clothesline there! Ryan goes for the cover…

1…

2…

DT: But Ling-Long kicks out!

MN: Well, that was stupid.

DT: Apparently, Ling-Long is taking this match seriously as he gets pulled back up to his feet here by Ryan. Ryan stands Ling-Long vertically…

DM: But Ling-Long spits right in the face of the former owner of Empire Pro!

MN: That’s not a good move either…

DT: Ryan wipes the spit off his face. He draws back…

DM: And he nails Ling-Long right in the…

DT: Nose space?

MN: That move was obvious. He should’ve smelled that one out.

DT: Dear God, Neels.

MN: You didn’t think it was obvious?

DT: You’re out of control. Back to the match…

DM: Well, Ling-Long has unfortunately found himself in a gutwrench here… And there’s a belly-to-belly suplex!

DT: Ryan goes for another pin here…

1…

2…

Kickout by Ling-Long!

DM: I don’t believe what’s going on here! Why does Ling-Long continue to kick out when Ryan is trying to finish this match as quickly as possible?

MN: It seems as though he has more guts than limbs… I mean brains.

DT: Well, Ryan pulls Ling-Long back up here again. But wait! Ling-Long falls right back to the mat!

DM: And he’s grabbing onto Ryan’s leg with both arms! What the hell is he doing?

DT: I don’t know! Ryan is walking around and trying to kick Ling-Long off of him, but Ling-Long is holding on for dear life!

MN: I think I’ve seen this move before.

DT: Where would you have seen a move like this?

MN: My kid’s daycare. One of his classmates eventually forced the teacher into submission.

DT: And still, I’m not surprised.

DM: Well, I think that Ling-Long is going to find out that this move isn’t always successful.

DT: Dan Ryan has finally stopped in the middle of the ring here. He draws back…

DM: And a HUGE double axe handle to the back of Ling-Long!

DT: The double amputee falls to the mat in a slump. Ryan reaches down and grabs him by the throat.

DM: And he lifts Ling-Long right off the mat like that! He pulls him up and over his head… chokeslam!

DT: Dan Ryan has had enough of Ling-Long’s games here, it would appear. He reaches down and pulls him back up again. This time, he pulls him into a standing headscissors…

DM: Humility Bomb!

DT: Ryan makes the cover…

1…

2…

3!!!

DT: Dan Ryan has survived the challenge that Irishred has put before him here tonight!

MN: It wasn’t that difficult of one.

DT: Absolutely true, but Ling-Long didn’t- What the hell?

DM: Ryan has pulled Ling-Long back up here! What’s he going to do with him?

DT: He lifts him up over his head…

DM: And Ryan gorilla presses Ling-Long over the top rope and into the ocean! I don’t believe this! This must be a message to Irishred!

DT: Folks, we’ve got more action to come, and I assure you that it will be LIVE and within this arena. Don’t go anywhere!