DT: We’re about to be treated to a match between two individuals who are NO strangers to each other. And now they compete for the right to be the number one contender.
DM: Should be an interesting match up. They’re both very talented, respectable athletes, and either one of them would make a great contender against Sean Stevens at Black Dawn.
MN: Bleh…
[“Sigillus Diaboli” hits the PA, and the crowd POPS LOUDLY as the lights slowly flicker to black.]
TF: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is for the Number One Contendership to the EPW World Heavyweight Title, and is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first… hailing from Tokyo, Japan, and weighing in at 245 pounds… he is the MUFFIN MAN… KIIIIINN HIIIIRRROOOOSSSHHIIIIII!!!
[The lights come up on the stage as a waterfall pyro rains from the entry-way. Kin Hiroshi emerges and POSES, drawing a massive pop! With regal grace, he makes his way to the ring. He climbs up to the apron and poses for the fans again.]
DT: At the last Aggression, Kin Hiroshi and JA were paired together to take on the former World Champion, Beast… but they couldn’t connect on the same page. It likely had to do with the knowledge that they’re both competing for the spot in the main event at Black Dawn.
DM: These two have had tough fights in the past. They’re hardly friends, so it wasn’t really expected that they would work well together in any case.
MN: And as a result, Beast just SCHOOLED THEM!
DM: He took advantage of their inner turmoil, yes…
[“Eat the Rich” by Fozzy hits the PA. The audience POPS as the lights go black and a silhouette appears in the entry-way.]
TF: And his opponent… hailing from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania… weighing in at 219 pounds… he is the NUMBER ONE CONTENDER for the EPW World Title… HE IS… JAAAAAYYY AAAAAYYYYYYEEEEE!!!!
[HUGE pop as pyros explode on the stage and JA bounds onto the rampway! Confidently, he makes his way to the ring! He slips in under the ropes and begins playing it up to the fans who cheer him on from all sides of the ring!]
DT: JA’s come very far here in Empire Pro, and as the number one contender, he may finally achieve his dream if he makes it to Black Dawn with a shot against the World Champion, Sean Stevens…
DM: JA has some unfinished business to settle with Stevens that stemmed from their match in the finals of the King of the Cage. JA may have lost, but he’s determined to bounce back and put that belt around his waist.
MN: Sounds to me like he just needs to come to grips with his own inferiority.
[Hiroshi and JA stare at each other intently from either side of the ring. After making his final checks, the ref cues the bell.]
DT: The bell has sounded… and the fight for the number one contender status is underway! Both men advancing on each other… and Kin Hiroshi shoots low for a takedown!
DM: Nearly took JA off his feet, but the Anglo Luchadore has a good guard against that kind of approach… he maintains his balance and counters with a front facelock… and Hiroshi bulls him into the corner!
DT: The referee orders the break and both men back up… but Kin Hiroshi with a BOOT to the gut as soon as the ref gives the all clear, and Snapmares JA to the floor! Kind of a cheap shot, but I’ll give it to him.
MN: I thought you hated cheap tactics!
DT: Well, I don’t hate Hiroshi! The Muffin Man stays in control with a headlock on JA… and now JA works his way back onto his feet! JA takes Hiroshi by the leg… lifts him up and DROPS HIM with a mat slam, and Hiroshi breaks the hold!
DM: Hiroshi back up, and JA puts him down with a dropkick! Hiroshi up again… and JA with a Spinning Heel Kick puts him to the mat once again! Hiroshi up a third time… and JA with a side-kick—and Hiroshi CATCHES him by the foot!!
DT: Look for the enziguri here from JA—BUT HIROSHI DUCKS and flips JA over onto his back!
MN: Heh heh… shot his wad on that one.
DT: JA coming to his feet again, but Hiroshi hooks him from behind, going for a VICTORY ROLL pin! One… Two… and JA kicks out!
DM: Too soon. He’s gotta wear him down a little more.
DT: Both men back on their feet… and Hiroshi, with a Japanese Arm Drag, puts JA back onto the mat! He slaps on an arm bar for added effect… and now JA quickly moves himself near the ropes, and gets his foot on the bottom cable! Hiroshi waits until the count of three from the ref before he breaks the hold!
DM: Smart move by JA, going for the ropes instead of trying to use his energy in breaking out of that submission hold.
DT: It’s been a fairly close fight in these opening minutes, the momentum switching back and forth between both competitors by the second. And knowing what’s at stake, I’m practically at the edge of my seat.
MN: Dave, watching popcorn in the MICROWAVE practically has you on the edge of your seat!
DT: Can it, Mike… Both men back up and circling the ring… and now Hiroshi raises his hand, inviting JA to the test of strength! And now the FANS are getting into it!
DM: JA looks unsure of himself. I think he wants to keep this match a ground and pound, but Hiroshi keeps his hand in the air, beckoning him to step forward! This audience sounds like they want to see it!
DT: And now JA steps forward, and both men lock their hands together!
MN: Eh, that’s the problem with these fan favorites… always doing what the fans want them to do rather than what they SHOULD be doing!
DM: Even though I hate to agree with him, Mike might be right on that… and now it begins! Both men straining against each other, using all of their strength to put the other over!
DT: And it looks like Kin Hiroshi is gaining an advantage, bending JA backwards! You might be right after all, Dean… accepting this contest may have been a mistake for JA!
DM: Hiroshi almost has him on the mat… but OH, JA’s forcing himself back up! Now he’s got Hiroshi back up to where the two of them started!
DT: The fans are going wild… and now JA’s gaining the lead, pushing Hiroshi down to the mat! And he’s got his SHOULDERS PINNED DOWN!! There’s the count… ONE… TWO… NO!! Hiroshi lifts himself up with a sudden surge of strength… But JA keeps pressing him… there’s ANOTHER pin! ONE… TWO… NO!! Hiroshi pushes back! What a fine display of endurance!
MN: Is it Hiroshi’s endurance, or JA’s incompetence? I really can’t tell…
DM: Anything can give at this point… and Kin Hiroshi catches JA off guard with a Legsweep to the mat! He hooks the leg and looks for the STF… but JA breaks free and BOOTS him away! Back to the basics with these two…
DT: JA on his feet, but Hiroshi pounces on him with a double-axe handle smash over the back, forcing him back to his knees! Hiroshi hooks him around the waist… lifts him with a GUTWRENCH… POWERBOMB, and keeps the legs hooked for the pin!
One!
Two!
And JA kicks out!!
DM: The Anglo Luchadore looks a little shaky after that move. He took a sick bump on the back of his head.
MN: Not that he has many brain cells to lose anyway.
DT: Kin Hiroshi is looking to gain an solid advantage in this match… he gets JA to his feet, tucks his head under his arm, and goes for the REVERSE DDT that drops JA back on his head! He’s doing everything to knock JA into next Tuesday!
DM: But JA is still managing to get up off the mat, and Hiroshi is forced to work on him some more! Hiroshi has him back up… hooks him around the face and the leg… there’s the LIFT UP, and—OH MY, that was a hard Fisherman Buster!!
DT: Hiroshi hooks the leg for another pin!
ONE!
TWO!!
OH NO!! JA with the kickout…
MN: Hiroshi can work on his head all he wants, but he must forget that JA’s got a particularly thick skull. That’s why he’s never been able to think of anything original.
DM: I think JA’s originality is a head above others in the fact that he’s an amalgam of MANY great aspects of professional wrestling.
MN: Amal-WHAT?!
DM: Nevermind. I guess YOU’RE the one with the thick skull!
DT: Hiroshi brings JA to his feet again. JA looking woozy, but Hiroshi won’t give him a moment to relax as he whips him into the ropes. Sets up for the back-body drop… but JA with the SUNSET FLIP rolls him up into a pin!
ONE!
TWO!!
THREE—NO!! Hiroshi kicks out! JA almost stole the match right there. But Hiroshi isn’t going to fall for those kind of tricks. Not with a chance at being the number one contender on the line.
DM: Hiroshi’s still looking strong, but JA may be running out of steam. Both men back on their feet… and Hiroshi meets JA with a boot to the gut! EUROPEAN uppercut knocks JA back into the corner! Hiroshi comes back for some distance, and comes charging in…
DT: And Kin Hiroshi just PANCAKES JA with the STINGER SPLASH!! He’s got the fans cheering for him now, and JA stumbles out of the corner… straight into a BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX from Kin Hiroshi! The Muffin Man is just DOMINANT right now! If he keeps this up, he could very well become the new number one contender!
DM: Some might say he deserved that right at Russian Roulette… but now he’s going to earn his chance! Here’s the cover on JA!
DT: ONE!!
TWO!!
THREE—NO!! JA kicks out again! He isn’t about to let his opportunity slip away!
MN: Opportunity? To what! Getting his ass kicked by Sean Stevens just like in the final round of the King of the Cage tournament?
DT: Hiroshi slapping the mat in frustration… and now he brings JA to his—OH, BALLTAP from JA!! Follows through with a SIDE RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP, and now the fans are cheering for the Anglo Luchadore!! What a TREMENDOUS comeback!
DM: JA just took everything Hiroshi gave him… and the moment the Muffin Man put his guard down, he let him have it!
DT: Both men lying on the mat, and the referee begins the ten count. Hiroshi beginning to stir, but it looks the wind’s been knocked out of him! And now JA is showing signs of life…
DM: The fans are really getting into it now… JA using the ropes to get to his feet, and Hiroshi’s almost made it back up!
MN: Oh, the anticipation is KILLING me…
DT: Hiroshi up… and so is JA! Hiroshi stepping forward, but JA fires back with a KNIFE-EDGE CHOP across the chest! And another! And ANOTHER!! JA working Kin Hiroshi into the corner, laying into his chest with heavy chop after chop… and there’s the Irish Whip to the other corner!
DM: JA follows and presses into Hiroshi’s chest with his knees… MONKEY FLIP out of the corner!! Kin Hiroshi just went for a ride!
DT: JA’s making a comeback… Hiroshi back on his feet, tries to back himself into the corner, but gets a KNEE to the gut for his efforts! JA hooks both arms… BUTTERFLY BACKBREAKER!! Jeez, that looked painful…
DM: JA’s got Hiroshi weakened, and now he knows this is his chance to make the cover!
DT: Here it comes…
ONE!
TWO!!
THREE—NO!! Kin Hiroshi manages to kick out! He’s still got fight left in him! He’s not going to let this chance slip through his fingers!
MN: He really just needs to get used to disappointment…
DM: JA isn’t quite finished… he gets Kin Hiroshi to his feet, and BLASTS HIM with a released German Suplex in the middle of the ring, and… he ignores the cover! No, he’s going to the TURNBUCKLE!!
MN: Oh, great…
DT: JA scaling the top rope… he’s going to put Kin Hiroshi away for good! Hiroshi is laid out in the middle of the ring, and JA has him right where he wants him… HERE WE GO!!
DM: JA off the top with the FROGSPLASH—AND HIROSHI MOVES OUT OF THE WAY!!
DT: MY GOD!! JA just came CRASHING DOWN on nothing but hard canvas!!
MN: HAHAHAHAHA!! Seeing that made my day…
DT: This match is beginning to take a toll on both competitors… but now Hiroshi is on his feet, and with JA hurt after that suicide dive from the top rope, he’s ready to put this one away!
DM: Now’s the time to act. JA’s risky move ended up backfiring, and this is the perfect opportunity to go for the finish.
DT: Hiroshi looking for the H.L.B… he has JA up, and sets him onto his shoulders—but JA is trying to SQUIRM FREE!! Hiroshi’s got him locked in place… but now JA uses his free arm to grab onto the top rope, and he’s hanging on for dear life!!
DM: JA’s made contact with the ropes, and now Hiroshi has to break contact! The referee is telling him to put him down, but Hiroshi is telling him no! And now the referee is threatening to disqualify him!
DT: Come on, he’s SO CLOSE to putting this one away!
DM: Rules are rules, Dave! And Hiroshi knows it! And he just TOSSES JA over the ropes to the outside—OH WAIT, JA’S FOOT CLIPPED THE REFEREE IN THE HEAD!!
MN: REF BUMP!! REF BUMP!!
DT: I think Hiroshi tosses JA over the ropes in frustration, but I don’t think he intended to take out the referee… and, OH WAIT, COMING DOWN THE RAMP RIGHT NOW!!
MN: IT’S STALKER!!! He’s here to pay Hiroshi!
DM: Oh, that bastard!!
DT: Stalker’s got a chair, and I bet I know what he’s going to use it for!! Hiroshi doesn’t see him coming cause he’s bending over the ref, and now Stalker slides into the ring… and OH MY GOD, he just WRAPS THAT STEEL CHAIR over the back of Kin Hiroshi’s head!! The Muffin Man didn’t see it coming!!
DM: That son of a *****!! I oughta go in there and rip his arm right out of the socket!!
MN: WHY?! This is the most interesting this match has been since the bell rang!!
DT: The referee didn’t see a thing… and neither did Hiroshi, or JA, who’s still lying on the outside! Stalker standing tall in the middle of the ring, and… WAIT, HERE COMES ROCKO!! ROCKO DAYMON is sprinting to the ring looking for payback!!
DM: Finally! This is the first time I’m GLAD to see that bonehead!
MN: He’s the MAN!!
DM: Damnit, Mike, SHUT THE HELL UP!!
DT: Stalker’s waiting for him as he rolls into the ring… Stalker with the CHAIR-SHOT—but Daymon CATCHES the chair before it can connect, and he just RIPS IT out of his hands!!
DM: Get him, GET HIM!!
DT: Rocko SWINGING THAT CHAIR, but Stalker rolls over the ropes to the outside, and he just missed having his head taken off!! You just KNOW Rocko is pissed about Stalker leaving him to the wolves earlier tonight!
DM: Wait a second, the referee’s come to… and now he sees Rocko, and the chair, and Hiroshi lying on the mat!
DT: I think he’s getting an idea, but I think it’s the WRONG idea… and wait, he’s signaling the bell!!
[The ref waves his hands in the air and gives the cue to the timekeeper, taking the chair out of the bewildered Rocko Daymon’s hands and discussing something with Tony Fatora.]
DT: What the hell is going on? Is it over?
DM: He must think that he took out Hiroshi with that chair!
MN: Wow, what a moron…
DT: JA’s back on his feet, coming back into the ring and wondering what the big deal is. Let’s see what Tony has to say…
[Fatora nods to the ref and raises the mic.]
TF: Ladies and gentlemen… as a result of interference from ROCKO DAYMON… JA has been DISQUALIFIED!!
DT: Oh, come on!!
[JA throws his hands into the air in anger. Rocko approaches the referee, shaking his head, explaining that he wasn’t the one that interfered. Outside the ring, Stalker CACKLES madly!]
TF: As a result, here is your winner…and NEW Number One Contender to the EPW World Heavyweight Title…
KIIIIIIN HIIIIIRROOOOSSHIIIIII!!!!
[The audience is torn between a POP and a JEER… mostly the latter as a result of the shady finish. The reaction is mixed, but VERY thunderous.]
DT: Well, talk about controversy! Rocko Daymon came to the ring to prevent Stalker from interfering, and ended up being the one it fell upon!
DM: Man, JA is not happy about this! To lose a shot at the world title over a DQ is just a terrible thing.
DT: Wait a minute, JA attacking Rocko from behind!! He takes him by the waist… KARELIN DRIVER!! MY GOD, he just DROPPED ROCKO DAYMON on his HEAD!! Why in the HELL did he just do that??
DM: JA didn’t see Stalker hit the ring either! He thinks Rocko is the guilty one!
DT: Look at STALKER on the outside!
[The camera cuts to Jason Reeves, pointing at his fallen nemesis in the ring and laughing. Meanwhile, the referee, in the process of helping Kin Hiroshi back to his feet, comes at JA and tells him to lay off. JA has to be restrained from attacking the dazed Rocko Daymon any longer, and the referee removes him from the ring.]
DM: This was a part of Stalker’s plan all along! Coming to the ring to avenge Hiroshi’s interference in his match against Cross at the last Aggression wasn’t his only agenda… he wanted Rocko to follow him to the ring so the interference ruling would be pegged on HIM, and now JA’s taken his frustration out on the scapegoat!
MN: You gotta admit, that IS a pretty clever scheme.
DT: It’s UNJUST, is what it is! JA just attacked the man who came to the ring to keep things fair!
[JA and the referee argue with each other as they go up the ramp to the backstage area. Back in the ring, Hiroshi comes to his feet, holding the back of his head. Even with “Sigillum Diaboli” playing and realizing that he is the new number one contender, celebrating is the last thing on his mind. He sneers as he sees Rocko Daymon trying to come to his feet in a daze, the chair right next to him. Without hesitation, he picks the chair up and…]
DT: OH GOD!! Kin Hiroshi just LAID OUT Rocko Daymon with that chair!!
DM: I guess JA and the referee weren’t the only ones who were duped! After all, Hiroshi didn’t see who hit him from behind…
MN: Stalker’s having the time of his life right now!
DT: Kin Hiroshi is just GOING TO WORK on Rocko Daymon with that chair… and now he’s setting it on the ground! He’s bringing Rocko to his feet… what’s he doing?
DM: He’s got Rocko on his shoulders! He’s going for the H.L.B. on the chair!!
DT: No, this isn’t RIGHT!!
DM: BAM!! JAPANESE BURNING HAMMER ON THE CHAIR!! Jesus Christ, he nearly BUSTED Rocko’s skull open!!
[Hiroshi pops to his feet and raises the chair in the air, pumping up his fans and making the “Number One” gesture while pointing to himself. Unseen to him, Stalker cheers him on the outside, taking delight in watching his two rivals turned on each other. Hiroshi turns to the fallen body of Rocko and begins stopping him again when a booming voice comes over the PA.]
“Alright, that’s enough!”
[The Muffin Man backs away as “Zero” by the Smashing Pumpkins his the PA. Dan Ryan emerges on the stage, looking somewhat pissed.]
Ryan: Here, Kin… look at this.
[He points up to the Empire Tron, showing a replay of Stalker slipping into the ring and hitting him over the head with a chair. Hiroshi seems taken aback by this revelation.]
Ryan: You want somebody to break apart? Look no further than that man standing right there…
[He points to ringside, where Hiroshi sees Stalker for the first time. Stalker mockingly waves back to him. Hiroshi, enraged, throws the chair out at him, but Stalker dodges it.]
Ryan: Alright, now CUT IT OUT!! Kin, you might be the new number one contender by default… but seeing as how the man you just laid out had the balls to come out and save your ass, I figure he deserves the same chance that you had.
DT: What’s he saying?
DM: Oh please… please don’t let him say what I think he’s going to…
Ryan: That’s right… at the next Aggression, you’ll be putting you’re newly acquired title shot ON THE LINE against Rocko Daymon.
[Hiroshi’s expression is mixed, and generally unreadable. Rocko Daymon is only slightly conscious to hear this news.]
DM: ****!!!
DT: What an announcement! It will be Hiroshi and Daymon at Aggression! I guess Daymon’s one-man performance against the Proletariat was enough to convince the EPW Owner Dan Ryan that he deserves another shot at the World Heavyweight Title!
[Stalker shrugs upon hearing this, going over to the barricade as though he’s about to exit through the audience. Dan Ryan spots him and begins walking down the ramp.]
Ryan: Where do you think YOU’RE going, Stalker?
[Stalker suddenly halts as Dan Ryan comes to ringside and approaches him, jutting a finger directly into his chest.]
Ryan: Seeing as YOU feel the need to poke your nose where it doesn’t belong every time either of these men are in the ring, I think I’m going to put you in a position where, for once, you CAN’T interfere!
DM: Oh, THANK YOU!!
Ryan: In fact, I’m going to do you a favor, Stalker. I’m going to leave you with the choice of which of these men go on to fight Sean Stevens at Black Dawn. I’m making YOU the guest referee!
DM: DAMN!!!
DT: Oh, MAN!! Stalker as the referee in the match between DAYMON and HIROSHI!? He hates the BOTH of them!
[In the ring, Hiroshi shakes his head in utter disbelief. Stalker’s eyes narrow as this news sinks in. Dan Ryan leans in close, looking grave.]
Ryan: And you WILL decide a winner, Stalker. If not, then you can watch Black Dawn back at whatever homeless shelter you crawled out of!
[Ryan turns away and heads back up the ramp as “Zero” plays again. The camera zooms in on Stalker’s expressionless face… which suddenly stretches into a smile as he hops the barricade and exits through the audience. In the ring, Hiroshi takes a last look at Rocko Daymon, his future opponent. He only shakes his head in disgust and leaves the ring, heading up the ramp and making more “Number One” gestures while pointing to himself, playing up to his fans. Rocko, weakly, rolls from the ring. Ring officials come to assist him, but he pushes them away, collapsing over the barricade and picking himself up again in pursuit of Stalker.]
DT: This situation just keeps getting more and more convoluted. Just as soon as a new number one contender is announced, the right to face the champion is on the line AGAIN! And with Stalker involved, you know things won’t pan out easily…
MN: Yeah, if Stalker keeps interfering, I think it would be safe to assume that Sean Stevens won’t even have to defend his title at Black Dawn!
DM: What I’m interested in is how JA is going to react to this news. This match was blatantly robbed to him, and now ROCKO DAYMON is the one who gets to fight for the title shot?
DT: Daymon has competed fiercely to earn his place in the main event… but you are right, JA can’t be happy about this. And discovering that Stalker has cost him his title shot must not sit well with him.
MN: Eh, he never would have HAD a title shot if it weren’t for Stalker in the first place! Rocko should have been the number one contender from the onset!
DT: Actually, I think it would have gone to Kin Hiroshi…
DM: Would the both of you shut up! JA was the rightful number one contender to begin with!
DT: Hiroshi!
DM: JA!!
MN: PRINGLES!! …er, I mean, ROCKO!!
[Cut to commercial as the commentators continue arguing.]