DT: Well fans, this upcoming match was arranged at our last edition of Aggression, and it carries a bit of a twist…

DM: That’s right, Dave. By order of Dan Ryan himself, none of the men involved in the main event tonight may interfere in this match, or they will forfeit their place in tonight’s contest to crown the number one contender.

MN: I’m always a fan of seeing ladies get slapped around, so that stipulation ain’t a bad thing in my eyes.

DT: On the other hand, if things go wrong for Caitlyn Daymon, nobody—notably, her husband Rocko—will be able to come to her aid.

[“Freya” by The Sword plays over the PA. To a display of red lights and a video package highlighting her antics with her husband, Caitlyn Daymon steps out onto the stage, bears a wry smile as she poses for the fans, and makes her way to the ring.]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a Stalker’s Rules match set for one fall. Introducing first… from Tacoma, Washington… HERE IS… CCAAAIIITTTLYYYNN DDAAAYYYMMOOOONN!!!

DT: Caitlyn Daymon is coming alone to the ring, throwing herself to the wolves, or THE wolf, so to speak… and I have to wonder, what cruel fate awaits her at the hands of her sadistic opponent?

DM: Let’s not be pessimistic here, Dave. Stalker might think he’s the cream of the crop by throwing around a bunch of tables and chairs… but Caitlyn Daymon at least has wrestling skill. Plus, considering that “spat” with her husband at Wrestlestock, I think we can safely assume that she can take a fair amount of punishment.

MN: Bounce… bounce… bounce…

DM: Just keep your eyes above the waistline, Mike…

[‘Did my Time’ by Korn blares over the PA system as Stalker comes from behind the curtains staring at Caitlyn and smiling.]

TF: And now her oppenent… from Seattle, Washington, HERE IS… STTAAAAAALLLKEEEEEERRRR!!!

[Stalker slides under the bottom ropes and makes his way towards Caitlyn.]

DT: Stalker is circling Caitlyn who’s standing in the middle of the ring. He has a giant grin on his face, like he is looking at a thanksgiving dinner.

DM: Man… this is going to be bad.

MN: Bad? She put herself out there to face this maniac, in the end anything she gets she deserves.

DM: I see you are sucking up to him now.

MN: I do what I have to do.

DT: Well it looks as if Stalker is now waiting for Caitlyn to make the first move. He is standing in the corner now just watching her. 

DM: She is watching him as well. Stalker is just grinning at her and she has a look of sheer anger on her face. 

MN: Yawn This is getting extremely boring. Somebody do something.

DT: Caitlyn crouches down and charges at Stalker, who quickly goes through the ropes and drops down to the outside. Caitlyn bracing herself on the turnbuckle looks down at him confused.

DM: He’s shaking his finger at her. What a prick. 

MN: Looks like he has more planned then just shaking his finger. He’s lifting up the apron and pulling out a chair. He tosses it in the ring as he is grinning at her.

DM: This is not going to be a good thing. He has another chair and tosses that one into the ring as well. 

DT: Stalker is still just grinning at her as he is pulling out these various weapons. Now.. he has.. a ladder? 

DM: Yeah he’s pulling it out now and having a hard time yanking it free. OH MY…

DT: Caitlyn just vaulted herself off the top ropes and splashed herself onto Stalker! His body just crumpled on top of that ladder. And Caitlyn quickly shrugging off the hard fall is back on her feet and wailing away at Stalker with kicks to the back of the head.

DM: She kneels down next to him and grabs his hair, Caitlyn is yelling something into his ear as she SLAMS his head face first into the ladder. AGAIN! And AGAIN! 

MN: Oh my god she isn’t stopping. Stalker is getting his head smashed into the rungs of the ladder, over and over and over. Blood is already spewing out of a cut that opened over his right eye. 

DM: She yanks him off the ladder, gets on top of him and starts laying her fists into his face. Caitlyn is screaming at Stalker with every fist she lays into his face. 

DT: Getting up now she picks up the bloody Stalker and rolls him into the ring. He’s not moving and he is breathing extremely heavy. Caitlyn works on the ladder some more and finally yanks it free from under the ring. She slides it in and climbs in the ring herself.

MN: This match may be over before we even realize it.

DM: Have you forgotten Wrestlestock? Didn’t the Hiroshi/Stalker match last for almost an hour? 

MN: Whatever. 

DT: Focus, guys. Caitlyn is now looking down at Stalker almost planning what she is going to do next.

MN: She is giving him too much time.

DM: Caitlyn is not used to this, Mike. Now she looks like she has something planned. She opens the ladder up while it’s on the ground, picks up Stalker and drops him face first in the open ladder. Caitlyn grabs the top part of the ladder and brings it CRASHING down against the back of Stalker’s head.

DT: Stalker is in a bad spot now and Caitlyn knows it. She lifts up part of the ladder again and SLAMS it down on Stalker’s head yet again. He looks to be completely out of it. Caitlyn climbs out onto the apron, grabs hold of the ropes, hops up.. SPRINGBOARD LEG DROP onto the closed LADDER!

DM: Wow.

MN: Double Wow.

DM: Triple Wow.

MN: Quadipple Wow.

DM & DT: Quadipple?

MN: Anyways, Caitlyn looks like she hurt her leg on that move.

DM: Yeah this might not bode well for her, if she wants to win this she needs to take him out now. 

DT: That might be her plan right now. She pulled Stalker out from under the ladder and is now setting up the ladder in the corner. Stalker is crawling towards the ropes trying to get use them to help himself up.

MN: Caitlyn sees him!

DM: She runs over and pulls Stalker up from behind hair first…. Wait, is he smiling?

DT: Caitlyn spins him around grabs his arm and whips… NO he reverses it and sends Caitlyn FLYING into the ladder!! Dear god she just crushed herself against that ladder. 

DM: Yeah she’s lying crumpled on the mat as Stalker has dropped to his knees and is just smiling at her. She is screaming in pain as she holds her back. 

MN: What’s this maniac thinking, doing that to a woman?

DT: She agreed to wrestle him like you said. This is what she has to deal with.

DM: Stalker’s picked up a chair now. He’s slowly walking towards her fallen body, he lifts the chair up and nails her square on the back! She screams in agony again as she crawls away from him.

DT: Stalker kicks her in the back of the head, but she still continues to crawl towards the ropes. 

MN: This match needs to be called now.

DM: Don’t count her out just yet, she’s got a lot of fight in her.

MN: Against an animal like this? I don’t think so.

DT: Caitlyn reaches her arm out for the ropes and Stalker uses the chair and slams it down on her arm! She spins on to her back and is grabbing her arm in sheer pain. She is kicking at him to get him away from her and he is just looking down at her smiling. 

DM: Stalker sets up the chair in the middle of the ring and picks Caitlyn up who is struggling to get free. He slams his arm down on her back to gain control of her and whips her into the ropes, Drop toe… NO! She skips over his attempt, hops on the chair, and again… TRIPLE JUMP MOONSAULT right into Stalker and they both crash on the mat! 

[The crowd begins a small chant of ‘Holy ****’]

MN: That… was amazing.

DT: This match can’t last much longer, we’ve seen Stalker go to hell and back with Hiroshi, but Caitlyn Daymon is not Hiroshi.

DM: I agree and as of right now, neither wrestler looks like they will be able to continue.

MN: If that’s the case we can all thank Caitlyn’s camel toe for her great performance tonight.

DT & DM: NEELY!!!!!!

MN: All I did was thank Caitlyn’s camel toe for her great performance tonight, it looked to be in tip top shape. For a camel toe that is.

DM: I swear….

DT: Well anyways back in the ring it looks like Caitlyn is finally starting to get to her feet. After that assault by Stalker I don’t see how she pulled off what she did but she seems primed for more. 

DM: Grabbing Stalker by the hair and lifting him up she reaches her hand back and slaps him directly across the face. 

MN: That wasn’t smart.

DT: No.. I don’t think it was. Stalker is now fully aware after being slapped and is staring her down with blood covering almost his entire face. Caitlyn tries to kick him in the gut but he pushes her leg down and OH a right hand from Stalker sends Caitlyn flat to the mat.

DM: Stalker kneels down next to her and lands another right to the back of her head, followed by ANOTHER! Climbing back to his feet now, he has Caitlyn by her hair, he sets her up and WHIPS her into the ladder in the corner.

MN: Ouch.

DT: Yelping in pain as she bounces off the ladder, she stumbles forward right into a waiting Stalker and he pops her back with an uppercut to the jaw. Caitlyn’s real staggered now and Stalker quickly swoops behind her, hooks her, RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP INTO THE LADDER!

MN: Do you guys think that he may have been playing with her this whole time? Letting her waste her energy thinking she had the upper hand?

DM: I wouldn’t go as far as to say that.

MN: You’re right the camel toe is definitely not a push over.

[Dave Thomas reaches over to Neely’s microphone and rips the cord out from the table tearing it apart.]

DT: Folks Mike Neely is currently experiencing technical difficulties and will be unable to commentate for the rest of the match.

DM: Thank god.

DT: Caitlyn is crumpled on the mat and Stalker is looking over her…. He looks like a damn psychopath.

DM: He’s picking up a chair and Caitlyn is getting to her knees. Stalker kicks her back down to the ground, lifts the chair above his head and brings it CRASHING down on her back. 

DT: She’s yelling out in agony now and Stalker slams the chair down on her back again! He’s just toying with her now. 

DM: A THIRD chair strike… a FOURTH!! Caitlyn is just being turned into pudding…

MN: Why the hell’d you unplug me, assclowns!

DT: Welcome back, Mike… back to the action in the ring, the death toll is sounding for Caitlyn Daymon… Stalker sets the chair on the mat, and now he’s bringing her to her feet! Could this be it?

DM: I think so! EVENFLOW!!! EVENFLOW, HEAD-FIRST ON THE STEEL CHAIR!!

MN: BAM!! I bet she hasn’t taken a shot to the forehead like that since her honeymoon with Rocko!

DT: This one is over, folks… but wait a second, what’s this? Stalker brings her BACK TO HER FEET?!

DM: Adding insult to injury! He’s setting her up over the chair again… and a SECOND EVENFLOW!!

DT: GOD IN HEAVEN, is he trying to KILL her?!

MN: Maybe, Dave. We know he really, really, REALLY doesn’t like Rocko Daymon.

DM: Here’s Stalker with the cover…

DT: It’s about time he showed some mercy…

One!!

TWO!!

NO!! HE JUST STOOD UP!!

DM: What the HELL?! Why doesn’t he just finish this!

MN: Cause the ho hasn’t suffered enough! Man, can’t you guys think of this yourselves, or am I the only one here who can think INSANE!

DT: I’m sure 80% of your thoughts are insane to begin with, Mike, so I’m not terribly surprised at that. What DOES surprise me, is Stalker’s continuing this match, although considering it’s a Stalker’s Rules match, I guess he can do whatever he wants.

DM: The referee is getting on Stalker’s case about breaking the pin… OH NO!! Stalker just grabs him by the head and TOSSES HIM out of the ring! Now he’s going after the OFFICIALS, that no-talent bastard!

DT: Apparently, this match isn’t over until Stalker says it is. Now it’s Stalker alone in the ring with Caitlyn Daymon… and as we discussed before, NOBODY can come to her aid now! She is at the mercy of that sadist standing in the ring!

DM: Stalker, picking up that chair again!

DT: OH NO, COME ON!!

[*CRACK!!*]

DT: STALKER JUST HIT HER WITH THE CHAIR AGAIN!! MY GOD, that was RIGHT IN THE HEAD!!

DM: And he ain’t done yet!!

[*CRACK!! CRACK!! CRACK!!*]

DT: Somebody STOP HIM!! He’s KILLING HER!!

MN: He isn’t killing anybody! He’s just sending a message!

DM: Pretty harsh message, if you ask me! Caitlyn is just a bruised mess in the middle of the ring, and Stalker is THOROUGHLY unhinged right now!

DT: FINALLY, he drops the chair… but now he’s asking for a mic!

DM: Dang… I cringe every time I listen to this guy talk.

[Stalker goes to the ropes facing the entry-way and points right at the stage, ignoring the vehemently booing crowd around him.]

Stalker: ROCKO!!

MN: Uh-oh…

DT: I had a feeling it would come to this!

[Stalker fervently runs a hand through his stringy black hair, getting impatient.]

Stalker: I KNOW you’re back there watching this, Otter Boy, so if you know what’s best for your WIFE, YOU’LL GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE NOW!!!

[“Death Is This Communion” by High On Fire promptly hits the PA, and the audience POPS as a very angry Rocko Daymon, in wrestling attire, appears on the stage, holding a mic. His eyes, full of white-hot rage, are fixated on the man in the ring.]

Rocko: Reeves, you unbelievable coward! What’s between you and me has NOTHING to do with her! If you want to settle this, you’ll let her go… NOW!

[Stalker ponders this.]

Stalker: Hm… well, okay Rocko, if you insist.

DT: Did I just hear that?

DM: Come on, he’s gotta be kidding…

[To everyone’s amazement, Stalker helps Caitlyn to her feet and gently leads the hurt woman to the ropes… suddenly grasping her arm and FLATTENING her with a clothesline. 
The audience BOOS LOUDLY as Stalker whips around to face Rocko again.]

Stalker: YOU ****ING MORON!!! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE telling me what to do! I’M the one making the demands around here, and this ***** doesn’t leave the ring until YOU GIVE ME WHAT I WANT!!

DT: I don’t believe this! Stalker is holding Caitlyn Daymon for RANSOM!!

DM: And Rocko is completely powerless in this situation. The match, to my understanding, is STILL happening… and if Daymon so much as enters that ring, he can say goodbye to all his hopes and dreams of going into Black Dawn for a shot at the title!

MN: Not a bad scheme, actually.

DT: That’s a horrible thing to say, Mike!

MN: Well, hey! Maybe Rocko now regrets blowing off Stalker all those times!

[Rocko shakes as he tries to control his rage and restrain the urge to sprint into the ring and smash Stalker’s face with his bare hands. He keeps his poise… and raises the mic again, speaking very clear and quietly.]

Rocko: What do you want, Jason?

[Stalker squints.]

Stalker: What do I want?

[His eyes suddenly bulge and he STOMPS HARD onto the mat in a sudden fit of rage!]

Stalker: WHAT DO I WANT?!

I WANT WHAT’S MINE!! I WANT MY REVENGE!! I WANT to silence the voices of doubt and humiliation that have haunted me for the past SEVEN YEARS!! I WANT this ENTIRE WORLD to recognize me as the most DANGEROUS MAN IN PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING!! I WANT Scarlett Johansson to use my face as a BIKE SEAT while I wipe my ass with $100 bills!!

MN: Hey, me too!

DT: Shut up, Mike!

Stalker: What I WANT, Rocko… is YOU!!

I want YOU in a LAST MAN STANDING match… just like our last dance, seven years ago…
I want to break your face open… and leave you a crippled, bleeding mess that even your own mother wouldn’t recognize…

And I WANT IT AT BLACK DAWN!!

[The crowd stirs restlessly as Rocko rolls his eyes and raises the mic.]

Rocko: Rest assured, Stalker… you’ll get your match. You’ve been asking to get beat like a rented mule for quite a while now. But the fact of the matter is, if I win tonight against JA and Kin Hiroshi… I’m going into Black Dawn to compete for the title. If that happens, Reeves, then you’re just going to have to wait.

[Stalker looks dumbstruck.]

Stalker: …wait? You’re asking me… to WAIT!?! YOU THINK I’M ****ING AROUND HERE!!

[Angrily, Stalker drops the mic and reaches into his pocket, pulling out a hand-held device…]

DM: What is that…?

DT: Oh my GOD!!

[The camera zooms in on the object to reveal a BOX CUTTER! Stalker extends the blade to show it’s real. He holds it up for the audience, then finally to Rocko… before stooping down to Caitlyn and DRAWING IT ACROSS THE SIDE OF HER FACE!! Caitlyn SHRIEKS as the blade slices into her cheek! Rocko’s eyes widen in PANIC and he takes a step toward the ring… but forces himself to a stop, knowing his title shot is in jeopardy.]

DT: GOOD GOD IN HEAVEN, HE’S CUTTING HER!! THAT SADISTIC BASTARD JUST CUT OPEN A DEFENSELESS WOMAN!!

DM: Man, oh man, the censors are going to burn our asses for that one…

MN: A bit over-the-top, but HEY, it’s entertainment, right?

DT: OH CUT THE CRAP, Mike! There is NO justification for what that insane man just did!!

DM: Rocko can only sit and watch as this MANIAC tears his wife to pieces! I bet he’s REALLY regretting his decision to allow her to compete in this match!

[Stalker picks up the mic again, holding up the crimson-stained blade for the audience to see.]

Stalker: SEE THAT, ROCKO?! That’s what I call a TIP OF THE ICEBERG!! I’LL CUT HER FACE TO RIBBONS if you so much as THINK I’m willing to wait on this one! Then you can live with the guilt of leaving your wife MAIMED because you wanted your worthless title shot!

[Stone-faced, Rocko slowly makes his way down the ring. The audience grows a few decibels louder as the anticipation builds. Daymon comes to a stop right next to the ring, his eyes burning daggers into the man standing in the ring.]

Stalker: Come on, Rocko… you think you’re being brave by just standing there, doing NOTHING?? Your wife needs you, and all you can do is sit there and look angry! What does that say about YOU, Rocko? Are you REALLY the kind of man that would put a TITLE SHOT before his WIFE?!

DM: Interesting point…

DT: I can’t believe Stalker is forcing him to CHOOSE between Caitlyn’s well-being and a shot at the title!

MN: He may not even EARN that shot tonight! Caitlyn could be taking this mauling for nothing, just because Rocko refuses to step down from his high horse and do the RIGHT thing.

DT: There’s no “right” in this, Mike…

Stalker: I’M GETTING IMPATIENT, Rocko!! COME ON!! Get your ass in here… FIGHT ME!! Fight for your WOMAN!! Or maybe you’re GIDDY over the prospect of having your balls licked by a JIGSAW PUZZLE!!

[Caitlyn, from her place on the mat, suddenly lunges up and tries to grab the mic from Stalker’s hand.]

Caitlyn: NO, ROCKO!! DON’T LISTEN—

[WHAM!! Stalker knocks her away with a hard SLAP to the face, sending her sprawling back to the mat in a heap. Daymon’s eyes are again filled with panicked concern for Caitlyn.]

Stalker: You’re only holding out for a title that you only have a CHANCE to win… and a very small one at that. But I have a newsflash for ya: that BELT isn’t your destiny, Rocko… I AM!!! I AM YOUR DESTINY, whether you choose to accept it or not!! NOW ****ING GET IN HERE AND FACE YOUR FEAR!!!

[Rocko approaches the apron as the audience lets out a mixed reaction… and finally, he raises the mic.]

Rocko: No, Jason…

[HUGE surprise reaction from the audience. Even Stalker seems taken aback.]

DT: WHAT?! Is he just going to LEAVE HER IN THERE at the hands of that LUNATIC?!

MN: Man, what a punk…

[Rocko points at Stalker, his expression growing angry again.]

Rocko: You think you can control me with FEAR? You think hiding in dark corners and terrorizing this ring when nobody expects it gives you the power to take anything you want? **** THAT!!

I’m not going to be bent by your threats, Reeves, you freaking psycho! If you can’t learn to work your way up to MY level for the right to face me, then that’s YOUR problem! But little do you realize that the more you try and cut me down with this psychological warfare, the stronger I become…

You’re not going to accomplish anything if you continue this. All you’re going to do is piss me off beyond all belief… and when it comes time to pay the piper, I’m going to make those seven years you keep *****ing about seem like HEAVEN compared to the hell I’m gonna put you through…

[Daymon tosses the mic aside and stands perfectly still, bracing himself for the grisly scene that awaits him, no matter how painful it will be to stand idly by and watch the love of his life brutalized in the ring.]

DT: I don’t believe it…!!

DM: He’s got balls, I’ll give him that… but probably lacking in brains.

DT: Parents, if you have small children in the room, tell them to BEAT IT!!

[Stalker’s expression slowly changes from shock to sheer rage… and with FURY, he raises the box-cutter again…]

[…and suddenly DROPS IT!]

DT: WAIT!! What’s this?!

[Quickly, Stalker takes a handful of Caitlyn’s hair, yanks her to her feet, and VIOLENTLY throws her over the ropes to the outside! Rocko is INSANTLY beneath her, catching her before she can topple to the mat and setting her back on her feet, holding his hand against her bleeding cheek. The two make their way back up the ramp.]

Stalker: HEY ROCKO!!

[The husband and wife duo stop in their tracks and turn back to the ring. Stalker flashes his usual sadistic grin.]

Stalker: Good luck tonight!

[“Did My Time” comes over the PA once again as Stalker drops the mic and falls into a corner, sitting by himself as Rocko curses him on the ramp and leads Caitlyn to the backstage area.]

DT: Well, THANKFULLY, this tense situation has come to a somewhat peaceful ending… although I’m sure the battle between Rocko Daymon and Stalker is far from over.
DM: Daymon dodged a bullet there… and now he’s got everything riding on his shoulders going into tonight’s main event. If he can’t overcome the seemingly unstoppable momentum of Kin Hiroshi and the uncanny talent of JA, Stalker’s never going to let him hear the end of it. Even worse, all THIS will have been for nothing.

DT: That’s just the price a man will pay to earn his shot at the EPW World Heavyweight Title. This entire thing is about to boil over, but we’ve got more action on the way. We’ll be back after this commercial break, fans, so don’t go away!