[We go to the ring, where Tony Fatora stands in the center of the ring with the mic in his hand.]
TF: Ladies and gentlemen… the following contest is our MAIN EVENT of the evening!
[“I Did My Time” by Korn hits the PA. The audience BOOS LOUDLY as Stalker appears on the stage, sans light show or pyro. He grins sadistically into the crowd as he makes his way to the ring.]
TF: Introducing first… from Seattle, Washington… he weighs in at 224 pounds… HERE IS… SSSTAAAAALLLKKKEERRR!!!
DT: And less than favorable response for the sadistic JASON REEVES, a.k.a. STALKER, who earlier tonight promised he would END THE CAREER of the World Heavyweight Champion, Rocko Daymon!
DM: Honestly, there’s NO REASON why Rocko should EVER grant this talentless bum a title shot! ESPECIALLY after that video he revealed earlier! What the hell was that… he’s now a LITERAL Stalker, watching the Daymon family like that! It’s just… CREEPY!
DT: That’s hardly scratching the surface, Dean…
MN: Don’t forget the exclusive content at Caitlyngonewild.com!!
DT: Mike… stop using your work-issued laptop to look up pornography!
DM: Yeah, if Rocko catches you with that, he’s gonna break that over your head!
DT: I can’t imagine what he’ll do to STALKER once he gets his hands on him…
[Stalker goes through his regular routine of slipping into the ring and sitting in a corner… and moments later, “You Know My Name” by Chris Cornell hits the PA. Troy Douglas’ video package plays on the Emipre Tron, and the Charlotte, North Carolina fans POP TO THEIR FEET!!]
TF: And his opponent… hailing from Greensboro, NORTH CAROLINA, and weighing in at 260 pounds… he is the EPW INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION… HE IS…
TRRROOOOYYYY DDDDOOOOOUUUUGGGLAAAASSS!!
[THREE LOUD CANNON BLASTS peal over the audience, followed by a MASSIVE pyro as the song enters its chorus and Troy Douglas, proudly bearing the IC Title, strides out onto the stage pumping his fists into the air and getting a DEAFENING reaction from the North Carolina fans in attendance.]
DT: THE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION IS HERE in his home state of North Carolina, and would you LISTEN to this reaction?!
DM: A warm homecoming for this fellow Tar Heel, and what better way to come home than with the EPW Intercontinental Title wrapped around your waist?
DT: Troy Douglas has been with EPW since the BEGINNING, and winning that title from the Sergeant at Black Dawn was the PERFECT culmination to all those years of hard work and perseverance!
MN: Would you guys cut it out?! The only reason why MEGATRON didn’t win was because Sarge didn’t go for the ol’ chair-to-head technique!
DM: That shouldn’t be an effective winning strategy to begin with, though that was a highly emotional match, and it was great to see Douglas finally step up and win one for himself!
DT: I hear you on that…
[Douglas enters the ring and promptly scales a turnbuckle, pumping both fists into the air and getting a HUGE REACTION from the North Carolina audience! He switches off to another turnbuckle for a SECOND BIG POP!! When his music ends, he hands the belt off to the referee and goes to his corner, stretching against the ropes. While his back is turned, Stalker suddenly comes to his feet and makes a BEELINE toward his opponent!]
DT: OH WAIT, HERE COMES STALKER, just BLINDSIDING the Intercontinental Champion before senior official Pat Jones can ring the bell! He didn’t even give him a CHANCE!
DM: The main event is underway, and already Stalker looks to be gaining an early advantage with a barrage of VICIOUS closed-fist punches on Troy Douglas! Stalker’s giving him every knuckle worth, and Douglas can do little more than hold up his arms and wait for the referee to intervene!
DT: I think Stalker needs to have those EARS cleaned out, cause he certainly doesn’t seem to be hearing Pat Jones’ STERN warnings to watch the closed-fist punches!
MN: Well hey, give the guy a break! He lived in a gutter for a few years… you can’t just expect his hygiene to be on the level.
DT: Stalker is fighting without holding anything back, and now drives his FOREARM across the throat of Troy Douglas, CHOKING THE LIFE OUT OF HIM until the ref reaches the count of three and a half and Stalker MERCIFULLY backs off!
DM: Well at least he’s not COMPLETELY ignorant of the rules!
MN: Bah, who needs rules??
DT: Douglas gasping for air, and a bit stunned at that surprise attack… but Stalker gives him not a second of rest as he closes in and goes for an Irish Whip out of the corner—and Douglas REVERSES! Stalker CONNECTS with the opposite corner, and here’s Douglas… greets him with a HIP TOSS that bounces him off the mat!
DM: Great comeback by the IC Champ! But Stalker POPS to his feet and SCREAMS FORWARD with a FOREARM SMASH that Douglas didn’t see coming!
MN: Watch him comeback from THAT, Dean!
DT: Here come the BOOTS to Troy Douglas as an ENRAGED Stalker takes his anger out on the Intercontinental Champion! Must’ve been a blow to his unhinged ego to have Douglas bounce back so quickly.
DM: Knowing what he went through to become the IC Champ, it shouldn’t be any surprise. Douglas will ALWAYS come back and ask for more, much to the ire of his opponents, because he REFUSES to stay down!
DT: Stalker, finally has had enough of kicking away at his prone opponent… now he has Troy Douglas by the HAIR and pulls him to his feet! Going to the ropes—AND HE THROWS DOUGLAS RIGHT OVER!! Oh no, WAIT!! Douglas, HANGING ON to the top rope with his fingertips, manages to stay on the apron!
DM: And Stalker is none the wiser, now arguing with referee Pat Jones about the pulling of the hair, his back pointed RIGHT at Troy Douglas, now sliding back under the ropes and into the ring!
MN: Come on, Stalker, turn around!
DT: He’s too busy going into detail about how he could literally EAT the referee’s face… and that gives Douglas plenty of time to get into the three-point stance! He’s got Stalker in his sights… and now the crazed one turns around—
DM: OH MAN, and goes RIGHT INTO ZERO G’S as Troy Douglas FLIPS HIIM THROUGH THE AIR with that charging clothesline!! That put Stalker in La-La Land and put these FANS back into the match!
DT: Stalker back on his feet, disoriented… walks straight into a SCOOP SLAM from Douglas, who beckons him back to his feet! Stalker up again… a SECOND Scoop Slam… and STILL, Stalker gets to his feet in a daze!
DM: Well why the hell not? Douglas with a BOOT to the gut… puts Stalker down definitively with a SWINGING NECKBREAKER, and quickly floats over for the cover!
DT: One…
Two…
No dice! Douglas back on his feet, shaking his jaw after that unforeseen assault at the beginning of the match. You really have to give him credit for keeping his poise and being able to overcome Stalker’s extremely BRUTAL approach to this sport!
DM: That’s what makes him the champ, Dave.
MN: No, he’s the champ because that dumbass Sergeant DIDN’T USE THE CHAIR!!
DT: Let’s just hope STALKER doesn’t get any similar ideas, as he now gets to his feet, shaking out the cobwebs. Douglas is already on him, taking him by the arm and WHIPPING him to the ropes! Stalker on his way back… telegraphs a CLOTHESLINE, but Douglas CATCHES HIM and rolls him to the mat with a BACKSLIDE PIN!!
One!
Two!
And another kickout by Stalker!
DM: Stalker looks like he’s getting flustered now! Back on his feet, with an ANGRY kick to the—NO!! Caught by DOUGLAS, who instead flips him around… transitions BEAUTIFULLY into a Back Suplex! And all Stalker can do to avoid this offense is roll under the ropes to the outside and regain his bearings!
DT: Looks like Stalker’s initial strategy to get down and dirty is backfiring as Troy Douglas forces him to wrestle!
DM: Hey, it’s the art of the ring! If Stalker can’t take it, he’s got no business being in there…
MN: You have NO IDEA what the hell you’re talking about, Dean! “Blah blah blah, WRESTLING!! Blah blah blah, TECHNICAL!!” Screw that! Jason Reeves represents the finest in EXTREME wrestling, and whether you love it or hate it, there’s a devout audience for that kind of thing!
DM: Bah… “extreme” is dead.
DT: Referee Pat Jones is on the count of six as Stalker continues to pace on the outside of the ring, watched very intently by his opponent, who stands waiting in the center of the ring. Here’s Stalker slipping in—but DOUGLAS comes right at him, forcing him back to the outside!
DM: Stalker needs to get something going on here. He couldn’t have just come into this match with attacking Douglas before the bell as his ONLY strategy!
MN: Whatever happened to the best strategy being NO strategy!?
DM: That NEVER happened, Neels.
DT: Pat Jones at five once again… Stalker taking his time while the Intercontinental Champion watches him like a hawk. Here’s Stalker back on the apron, and Douglas once again advances—NO!! Stalker with a SHOULDER THRUST through the ropes that Troy didn’t see coming! And that gives the crazed one the opportunity to grab the IC Champion by the HAIR and RIP HIM out of the ring!
MN: Oh yeah, DOWN AND DIRTY like it oughta be! Now you’re gonna see what EXTREME can do, Dean-O!
DM: Shut it, Mike…
DT: Regardless, Dean, Mike carries a point in this being Stalker’s forte! Douglas looking a little stunned after that bump to the outside, and it gives Stalker the opportunity to BOUNCE his forehead off of the apron with VICIOUS force!
MN: OOH, that’s EXTREEEEME!!
DT: Douglas reeling after that blow to the head, and Stalker quickly grabs him from the side… pulls back for a RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP RIGHT INTO THE BARRICADE!!
MN: Aw yeah, that’s HARDCOOOORRREE!!
DT: Stalker bringing his opponent to his feet again… hooks him for a SECOND RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP into the barricade!! He’s sucking the LIFE right out of those ringside Charlotte fans watching their local hero take a beating like this!
DM: It’d be wise to remember that Troy Douglas has suffered through a LOT worse than this!
DT: Well, Stalker may soon be upping the ante as he peels Douglas off the barricade… takes him by the arm—WHIP RIGHT INTO THE STEPS!! What a SICKENING collision of flesh and steel crashing into one another!
MN: Hoo hoo, daddy, that’s INTEEENNNSSEE!!
DT: Stalker continuing the punishment, and Troy Douglas is just in too much PAIN to do anything about it right now! He’s got Douglas by the arm once again… pointing him right to that STEEL POST with the WHIP—AND DOUGLAS REVERSES!! OH MAN, Stalker just went FACE FIRST into that post and it laid him out COLD!!
MN: Wakka wakka, that’s—
DM: SHUT UP, MIKE!!
DT: Seriously, you’re giving me a headache.
MN: Isn’t that what I’m PAID to do?
DM: The fact that you get a paycheck for just sitting there and saying NOTHING important worries me to no end. Let’s just put our focus back on the match as Troy Douglas regains himself and slips back into the ring, while Stalker, coming to, dawdles as he comes to his feet. Looks like Douglas has something PLANNED here!
DT: I’ll say, Dean! Douglas holding onto the top rope, waiting for Stalker to come to his feet… and VAULTS TO THE OUTSIDE with a BODY PRESS—AND STALKER STEPS TO THE SIDE!! OH MAN, Douglas just took a BELLYFLOP to the mat outside!
DM: That could have done some SERIOUS damage to his rips, Dave… and perhaps Stalker realizes this too, cause that’s where he’s currently KICKING the Intercontinental Champion while he lies on the ground in pain!
MN: You can knock his style of wrestling all you want, Dean, but it GETS THE JOB DONE, and that’s all that matters.
DT: Well, Stalker’s trying to get the job done NOW as he pulls Douglas off the mat and rolls him back into the ring. Douglas trying to make it to his feet, but Stalker slips in at his blindspot… waits for him to stand—AND KNOCKS THE SPIT OUT OF HIS MOUTH with a RUNNING KNEE LIFT!! GOOD NIGHT!!
MN: Need further proof, Dean-O?
DM: Let’s see if he can keep Douglas’ shoulders down for the three…
DT: Here’s Stalker with his first pin in the match…
One!
Two!
NO!! A kickout by Troy Douglas!
DM: Just as I predicted.
DT: A punishing match thus far. Undeterred, Stalker pulls Douglas back to his feet to keep the offense going… and there’s a nasty WHIP to the corner! Douglas connects HARD, and Stalker follows—NAILS HIM with a heavy CLOTHESLINE—and that goes RIGHT INTO A BULLDOG!!
DM: A surprisingly solid combo from Stalker… but is it enough to keep Douglas DOWN?
DT: I guess we’re about to see as Stalker hooks the leg for the pin!
ONE!
TWO!
NO!! The Intercontinental Champion kicks out once again! But how much longer can he hold out under the dominant WRATH of Stalker?
DM: He needs to regain his momentum quickly, or any hopes of a win here in front of his N.C. fans will quickly be defenestrated!
MN: …“defenestrated?!” WHAT?
DM: Look it up, Mike.
DT: Stalker, keeping the heat on, as he gets the IC Champion to his feet. Douglas is looking a little exhausted now, and it’s becoming harder and harder for him to defend himself properly from these frequently STIFF attacks from Stalker! Stalker has him around the waist… looking for a GERMAN SUPLEX—OH, but Douglas PITCHES FORWARD and rolls Stalker’s shoulders to the MAT!
ONE!
TWO!
And a KICKOUT by Stalker after that near fall!
DM: Oh, Reeves wasn’t happy about that, Dave! Here he comes tearing to his feet… and Douglas, OH!! Walks right into a KNEE from Stalker that was going into his abdomen that sends him tumbling to the mat! Douglas nearly had that turned around, but failed to take into account his opponent’s short temper!
DT: Stalker is DEFINITELY giving Troy Douglas something to remember him by in this match! This is sure to leave a mark… now he has the Intercontinental Champion’s NECK over the second rope, and DRIVES that knee right into his back! Come on, listen to the ref, and BREAK IT UP!! He’s cutting off his air supply!
MN: Eh, it’s not like much oxygen goes to Douglas’ brain anyhow…
DT: The referee finally ORDERS him off, and Stalker breaks the hold, but he’s testing Pat Jones’ patience with his BLATANT disregard for the rules! Jones gives him a stern warning, but you just KNOW it’s in one ear and out the other.
DM: Probably why this bum dropped outta high school…
MN: Hey, just because somebody dropped out of high school, it doesn’t automatically mean they’re a BUM!
DT: Back in the ring… Stalker disrespectfully blows off senior official Pat Jones, coming back to Douglas as he comes to his feet. Stalker going for a SCOOP SLAM—BUT DOUGLAS SLIPS DOWN HIS BACK!!
DM: HE SLAPS ON A DRAGON SLEEPER!! Oh man, that came from NOWHERE!! I wonder if he was playing possum this entire time!
DT: Stalker is FRANTICALLY trying to break free, but the IC Champion has him pinned down near the center of the ring! Imagine the EXCRUCIATING feeling he has in his back and neck right now… and it’s no wonder we see him now trying to INCH his way to the ropes!
DM: Oh yeah, I bet he’ll be BEGGING the ref to break that hold right away! I bet those danged old RULES we supposedly don’t need sound pretty good right now, huh Mike?
MN: Bah…
DT: Stalker within distance… Douglas looking for a leg-scissor on the body to keep him held down, but Stalker SQUIRMS free! He KNOWS he’s in a tight spot, and not willing to get dragged back away from them ropes!
DM: THERE!! His foot tagged the bottom rope… just barely. OOH! And Troy Douglas just DROPS him on the back of his head! How’s it feel, Stalker?
DT: A pleased reaction from his local fanbase… Troy Douglas standing back and letting Stalker come to his feet on his own power. He’s showing he can survive when Stalker fights at his level! Being a survivor is what put the Intercontinental Title around his waist!
MN: Yeah, after FOUR YEARS of choking!
DM: A thing of the past now, and Troy Douglas is MORE than willing to silence those who continue to doubt him! Let’s see what he’s got in store for Stalker now as he brings him back to his feet, hardly giving him time to recover from that Dragon Sleeper. There’s the hook around the face… and the leg… lifts off into a BEAUTIFUL Fisherman Suplex with a bridge pin!
DT: Could see a pinfall right here!
ONE!
TWO!
NO!! A collective sigh of disappointment from the audience as Stalker kicks out!
MN: See! SEE! He can hang in there, TOO!
DM: Meh…
DT: Troy Douglas has this match back in his control, and all he needs to do now is keep Stalker from regaining that dangerous momentum…
DM: Or better yet, find a way to just finish him off! Douglas bringing Stalker back to his feet… there’s a whip—AND A REVERSAL from Stalker! Douglas returning, and NAILS Stalker with an elbow to the back as he goes for the Back Body Drop attempt! Douglas setting him up… and DRILLS HIM WITH A CRADLE PILEDRIVER!!
DT: FOLLOWS THROUGH WITH A PRAWN HOLD!!
ONE!!
TWO!!
THRE—OH NO!! Stalker continues to kick out!
DM: Sometimes, that guy can be a cockroach…
MN: Now you’re just stealing my lines, Dean-O! I practically INVENTED the “cockroach” tag!
DM: Yeah, and I just effectively STOLE IT!!
DT: Troy Douglas continuing to stay in control of this match… giving Stalker every last bit of his energy to put him on the mat for the count of three! What’s he have planned next?! Bringing Stalker to his feet… OH!! There’s a sidekick that bounces Stalker off the ropes—AND RIGHT INTO AN STO from the Intercontinental Champion!
DM: But he ain’t done, Dave! Douglas quickly bouncing to his feet, and now climbing to the top rope! High-risk maneuver coming up… AND DOUGLAS DIVES!!
DT: BIIIIIIG DIVING HEADBUTT into the STERNUM of STALKER!! Oh man, that HAS to be it!! Here’s Douglas with the pin…
ONE!!
TWO!!
THREE—AW NO, COME ON!!
MN: How about THAT, Dean-O!
DM: It’s a sign of persistence, okay, but Douglas has him RIGHT where he wants him right now!
DT: Right on that one, Dean, as Troy Douglas, UNDETERRED, brings Stalker back to his feet! There’s a HIGH-ANGLE SPINEBUSTER that SHAKES the ring… and now this capacity crowd is going WILD AS DOUGLAS SETS HIM UP FOR THE SCORPION DEATHLOCK!!
MN: Oh no, ESS-DEE-ELL!! ESS-DEE-ELL!!
DT: WAIT, STALKER WITH A SMALL PACKAGE—
ONE!!
TWO!!
THREE—OH NO!! A DESPERATE KICKOUT by Troy Douglas, who nearly let this match slip through his fingers!
DM: He ain’t gonna let that happen a second time!! Douglas back up, meets Stalker with a CHOP across the chest… now he’s looking for a chinlock to keep him down—but Stalker sinks his hands in and REVERSES with a CHICKENWING—RIGHT INTO A GARGOYLE SUPLEX!! Man, looks like that bum has some wrestling talent after all!!
MN: See, he just whips it out when he needs it. Or just when he wants to make it look inferior.
DT: Troy Douglas in a bad situation now as he tries to get to his feet… but Stalker meets him with a HARD toe to the stomach… hooks both arms, and JUST PANCAKES THE IC CHAMP with a Double-Underhook Suplex!!
DM: Douglas was doing so well… and then…
MN: SAY IT, DEAN!! JUST SAY IT!! I KNOW YOU WANT TO!!
DT: What? What’s he want to say?
MN: Douglas CHOKED!! He CHOKED like he always does, and now Stalker’s ready to finish him off!
DT: We’ll just see about that! Stalker bringing Douglas to his feet… BIG WHIP TO THE CORNER that just knocks the WIND right out of Troy’s lungs! Wait, Stalker going to the opposite corner… he’s signaling for Rocko Daymon’s patented BACK-FIRST SPLASH!!
DM: Oh man, first the video of his home and family, and now copping his moves! Stalker is REALLY doing everything he can to insult the World Heavyweight Champion here tonight!
DT: Stalker charging forward… NO!! DOUGLAS DASHES TO THE SIDE, and Stalker goes BACK-FIRST into nothing but a HARD CORNER!! And wait, Douglas with a boot to the gut… AND SETS STALKER UP TO THE TOP ROPE!!
DM: END OF THE ROAD!! HERE IT COMES!!
DT: Douglas pumping up to the second rope and hooks one of Stalker’s arms, getting this screaming crowd into it—OH NO!! LOW BLOW!! LOW BLOW FROM STALKER’S FREE ARM!!
MN: HAHAHAHAHA!! Looks like he forgot to hook THAT one!
DM: Douglas coughing up on the mat, and Jones just RINGS THE BELL!! SCREW THAT!!
[The bell rings and the fans BOO LOUDLY!!]
TF: Ladies and gentlemen… Senior Official Pat Jones has DISQUALIFIED Stalker from this competition! As a result… here is your winner—
[Fatora doesn’t finish as he suddenly finds himself ON THE GROUND, having his seat taken under him from Stalker!]
DT: What’s Stalker doing here on the outside now?!
MN: Use your brain, Dave! Chair plus Stalker equals OUCH!!
DM: Stalker’s bringing that chair with him back into the ring… come on, now, the match is over!!
DT: Troy Douglas has done NOTHING to deserve a beating! Here’s Pat Jones, ordering Stalker from the ring—
[*CRACK!!*]
Crowd: BOOOOOO!!!!
DT: OH JESUS, HE JUST STRUCK THE SENIOR REFEREE WITH THAT CHAIR!!
DM: OH, COME ON!! He’s just doing his job!
MN: Shoulda chose to flip burgers!
DT: Wait a second, Stalker putting his attention back on Troy Douglas… sets the chair up in the middle of the ring! Come on, somebody STOP this!!
DM: Stalker bringing the Intercontinental Champion to his feet! Whips him to the ropes—DROP TOE HOLD!! OH MAN, DOUGLAS GOES FACE FIRST INTO THAT STEEL CHAIR!!
DT: What an INSULT to the Intercontinental Champion and his local North Carolina fans, who are CLEARLY unhappy to see the victory of their hero RUINED by this DISPECABLE man!
DM: And he isn’t DONE, Dave! Stalker setting the chair flat on the mat… Douglas is somewhere else, but now Stalker bring him back to his feet… he’s looking for an EVENFLOW ON THE CHAIR!!
DT: Oh no, come on, the match is OVER!!
MN: Nobody to help him now!
[“DEATH IS THIS COMMUNION” booms over the PA! The crowd POPS WILDLY as Stalker suddenly looks to the stage… and a FURIOUS ROCKO DAYMON stomps out, sternly making his way down the ramp and ripping off his t-shirt, eyes fixated on the man in the ring!]
DM: Time to eat those words, Mike!
DT: THE CHAMPION IS HERE!! ROCKO DAYMON IS HERE FOR STALKER!!
DM: And man, he looks PISSED!! I’d be too after seeing that video of Stalker’s!!
[Stalker TOSSES Troy Douglas aside as Rocko slides into the ring. As soon as he comes to his feet, both men COLLIDE in a flurry of rights and lefts!]
DT: OH MAN, IT’S THE BRAWL TO END THEM ALL between Daymon and Stalker!! Both men FEROCIOUSLY burying each other’s knuckles into the others’ face! There’s sweat and blood flying ALL OVER THE PLACE!!
DM: These men have been wanting to beat the hell out of each other for some time, and Rocko Daymon has HAD ENOUGH!!
Crowd: POP!!!
DT: And it’s the Champion, ROCKO DAYMON, getting the UPPER HAND!!
MN: Oh yeah, beat up on a guy after a MATCH when he’s TIRED!
DM: That’s beside the point, Neels. Stalker has had this beat-down coming for a LONG time!
DT: Stalker can HARDLY defend himself from the ONSLAUGHT of BIG, FACE-CRUSHING RIGHT HANDS from the World Champion! He’s bouncing Stalker off the ropes as if his chin were his own PUNCHING BAG!!
DM: Rocko, switching from rights to left… ONE… TWO… HERE COMES THE DISCUS PUNCH—OH NO!! Stalker DUCKS and drops the champion to the outside!
MN: HAHAHAHA!! Talk about taking the wind out of your sails…
[Daymon successfully lands on his feet, but is now looking up at a laughing Stalker back in the ring. Stalker turns around… and the Charlotte fans EXPLODE as TROY DOUGLAS sprints at him!]
DT: AND HERE’S DOUGLAS WITH A LARIAT!! Oh man, he just sent STALKER to the outside!!
DM: And right at the feet of Rocko Daymon, who continues the punishment!
[Standing tall in the ring, Pat Jones raises the arm of Troy Douglas and hands him the EPW Intercontinental Title before quickly jumping out of the ring to join the other officials storming the ringside area trying to break up the brawl. “You Know My Name” by Chris Cornell hits the PA as the Intercontinental Champion scales to the second rope and holds his arms HIGH over the cheering mass of Charlotte, North Carolina fans!]
TF: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner… the Empire Pro Intercontinental Champion… TTRROOOOOYYYY DDOOOOOUUUUUGGLLLAASSS!!!
DM: Well, he didn’t win quite the way he wanted to, but he’s the man standing tall in that ring, and these North Carolina fans are MORE than pleased to see their local champion in this way!
DT: It’s what they came to see, Dean! Troy Douglas is the standing example of how four years of hard work and dedication to this sport CAN pay off!
MN: Why the hell are we still talking about “Troy Douglas”?! Get a load of this slobber-knocker out here by the ring!
DT: Oh my, looks like the officials are having some trouble breaking these two up!
DM: Can you blame them?!
[It takes three white-shirted ring officials on either man to pry the two apart. Even then, the audience CHEERS IN EXCITEMENT as Rocko Daymon EFFORTLESSLY tosses aside the men holding his arms back, and LUNGES upon Stalker once again, hands fiercely trying to wrap around his neck!]
DT: WHOA!! I don’t think ANY form of manpower is going to split these two up!
DM: I think the officials finally realize that, Dave, as they’re now backing off and letting these two at it! Even Troy Douglas has come out of the ring and is pulling people aside, trying to PROTECT them from these two reckless brawlers!!
DT: OOOoohh… Daymon just CLOCKED Stalker with a HARD forearm to the face that just put him dazed on the floor! Is that the end of it then?
DM: Looks like he’s going for a mic…
[The audience quiets as Daymon takes the mic from Fatora and point right at Stalker as he’s picking himself off the ground and the wiping the blood from the corner of his mouth. Rocko doesn’t seem to notice he’s wearing color himself from a cut over his eye as a result of the fracas.]
Daymon: Reeves, you CRAZY SON OF A *****!! You want me THAT BAD?!
SO BE IT!!
Tonight, YOUR career is effectively OVER!!
[The audience POPS WILDLY as Daymon drops the mic and CHARGES AT STALKER while he comes to his feet!]
DM: I guess it’s NOT over!! OOH MAN!! Daymon just PLOWED into Stalker like a FREIGHT TRAIN that sent both men tumbling over the barricade!
DT: Daymon is out for BLOOD tonight! Ladies and gentlemen… this is an unscheduled fight between both men! Our broadcast was supposed to end a minute ago, but obviously something BIG is going down between these two individuals! We’ll try to stay with this as long as we can!
MN: Yeah, until the network producers call up and threaten to give us a 3 AM timeslot!
DM: That can’t be good for our ratings…
DT: I hardly think either of these bitter enemies CARE at this point as they now carry their blood feud into the AUDIENCE!!
[Members of security quickly flock into the crowd and part the ocean of fans as Daymon, mounted over Stalker, BURIES fist after hammering fist into his bruised and broken face, cutting open many old scars and creating several new ones!]
DM: Boy, those fans who shelled out the extra cash for ringside seats are REALLY getting their money’s worth now!
DT: That’s an understatement, Dean! I think EVERYBODY here in attendance is about to bear witness to something MONUMENTAL… and our fans watching at home may MISS OUT if this isn’t wrapped up soon enough!
MN: Daymon’s going for a CHAIR!! Hey, where’s Douglas? Is he still around? Somebody tell him to take notes!!
[Daymon leaves a stunned and sputtering Stalker on the floor, folding up many of the steel folding chairs set up for the ringside fans and yanking his foe to his feet by his clumped hair. Stalker gets an arm up…]
[*CRACK!!*]
[…but it BARELY pads the force of the chair SWUNG INTO HIM with full force, knocking him OFF HIS FEET and into five more chairs set up behind him!]
Crowd: OOOOooooohhh…
DT: Rocko Daymon is like a MAN POSSESSED!!
DM: Well, knowing pathetic perverted bastards like MIKE are probably out there whacking it to him and Caitlyn right now probably doesn’t sit well with him.
MN: Hey now!! Number one, I might be pathetic, but I’m HARDLY perverted! Number two, if I had a video of MYSELF on the internet boning a chick as hot as Caitlyn, I’d be STOKED!!
[*CRACK!!*]
DT: OH MAN!! ANOTHER chair shot from Rocko Daymon that sends Stalker FLAILING into a crowd of onlookers! This is getting a bit close to our loyal fans!
MN: Well, you SAID they were getting their money’s worth!
[Stalker is on his feet once again, teetering in place. Rocko brings the chair back for another strike, when Stalker suddenly reaches out and pulls a young teenaged fan out in front of him! Daymon is already mid-swing, but abruptly STOPS inches away from the kid’s face! His sudden hesitation is all Stalker needs to grab a chair of his own and CLOCK the World Heavyweight Champion across the face while he stands with his mouth agape!!]
[*CRACK!!*]
DT: OH NOOO!! STALKER TURNS IT AROUND!!
MN: Why the hell was he STALLING?!
DM: He wasn’t going to HIT A FAN, Mike! There’s no reason why anybody else should be hurt because of Stalker’s ridiculous mind games!
DT: What a COWARD for using that fan as a human shield!
MN: You call HIM a coward when Rocko assaults him after a tough match?!
DM: How many times has STALKER attacked ROCKO after a match??
MN: That’s beside the point…
[*CRACK!!*]
[*CRACK!! CRACK!! CRACK!!*]
DT: OH MAN!! STALKER IS COMPLETELY UNHINGED!! He’s just putting CHAIR after CHAIR into Daymon’s back as he tries to push himself off the ground!
DM: No doubt, he’s trying to KILL the man that beat him seven years ago!!
[Daymon’s broad back is a bruised and bleeding mess, but Stalker, savagely CURSING at the top of his lungs, shows no mercy as he DRIVES the top of the chair down onto Daymon’s spine and presses his boot down on the back of Daymon’s head, trying to crush it like a melon!]
DT: Daymon’s in a dangerous position now!! Stalker is going to fulfill his promise in ENDING his career tonight!! But wait… HERE COME THE FANS!!
DM: Security can’t hold them back!!
[Coming to the champion’s rescue are at least a dozen loyal ringside fans who BURST through the barrier of security officials and flock around Stalker, grabbing his arms and quickly disarming him! Stalker promptly turns his wrath from Rocko to the FANS, knocking a few of them OUT with hard shots to the face that send them yelping and crying out in pain!]
DT: OH MY GAWD, STALKER’S TARGETTING THE FANS!!
MN: Well, they shoulda kept out of this!! If you don’t want to leave a wrestling show with a black eye… DON’T TOUCH THEM!!
DT: Security’s trying to get a hold of this situation as quick as they can… and I’m now being told that the network is ORDERING us to end broadcast!
DM: Well, ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of Dave Thomas and Mike Neely, I’m Dean Matthews, and we’ll see you—
DT: BUT WAIT!! We’re getting the order from our OWN production crew to keep following this skirmish! To hell with the network, we’re giving the FANS what they want to see!!
MN: This is gonna take a bite out of paychecks… I can see it already!
[Stalker continues pummeling the fans as both teenagers and security guards FRENZY in the ringside area! Rocko Daymon, coming to his feet, sees the carnage and quickly pulls a few fans aside to make way as he THROTTLES HIMSELF into Stalker, knocking him to the floor and out of the mob of disorderly fans! Security quickly forms an arm-linked barrier to keep the two brawlers out of the audience!]
DT: This fight is getting WAY out of control, but continues, nevertheless, and neither of these men are willing to STOP until the other is DEAD or SOMETHING SIMILAR!
MN: Comatose?
DT: I wouldn’t doubt it… both men back to their feet, letting the FISTS FLY!!
DM: Man, they’re faces look like HAMBURGER!! Now Daymon’s pressing Stalker up the steps, trying to get this brawl AWAY from the fans and everybody else getting involved!!
DT: OOOHHH NOOO!! Stalker ABRUPTLY takes Daymon by the head and drives his NECK over the safety rail!!
MN: Kinda ironic, considering how that rail was put in place for SAFETY!!
DT: Stalker’s got Daymon by the leg… and begins DRAGGING HIM UP THOSE UNFORGIVING CONCRETE STAIRS!! The champion’s head takes a damaging BOUNCE with every step!!
[Stalker carries Daymon the rest of the way up the stairs until they’re standing right outside one of the gates. Security finally has the opportunity to block the fighting off from the crowd as Stalker takes Daymon by the hair and drags him through the gate, followed only by the lone camera following the action. Stalker tries to get Daymon to his feet, who promptly rallies and BLOWS STALKER AWAY with a Discus Punch that knocks him back into the tiled wall!]
DT: And Rocko Daymon BITES BACK!! Daymon’s on him like flies on honey, and now he’s got both hands in Stalker’s hair and he’s turning that tile into POWDER WITH STALKER’S CRANIUM!!
MN: HE’S GONNA KILL HIM!!
DM: Does he deserve anything LESS?!
[Daymon continues BASHING Stalker’s head into the wall, leaving a blood-spattered divot among the white tiles, screaming like a BANSHEE until Stalker goes limp and crumbles in a heap at his feet. Daymon is left breathing heavily, walking further up the ramp…]
DT: Oh, thank God it’s OVER!! Somebody check on Stalker… my God, it’d be a wonder if his brains weren’t coming out of the back of his head right now!
DM: Quick, Dave, the network’s SCREAMING AT US right now!
DT: Right, right… ladies and gentlemen, for Dean and Mike, this is Dave Thomas, we’ll see—
MN: HE’S ALIVE!!
[A bloody hand grabs Rocko by the shoulder and FLIPS him around! Before he can react, Stalker’s BOOT is in his stomach…]
DT: EVENFLOOOOWWWW!!! Oh man, Stalker just DESTROYED the World Champion with that snap DDT!!
DM: Tell me it’s over!
DT: I think NOT, Dean!
[Stalker grabs the unconscious Rocko Daymon to his feet and drags him further through the gate, into the lobby, where the entire far wall is made up of large floor-to-ceiling double-pane windows. Stalker eyes them with some sinister delight.]
DT: Oh my God, please tell me he isn’t thinking of what I THINK he’s thinking of!
DM: Dave…
DT: Stalker picking Rocko Daymon off the ground and onto his shoulders! My God, THROUGH THE WINDOW?!
DM: We HAVE to go off the air, NOW!!
MN: Hey Dean, remember when you asked me what DEFENESTRATION meant?
DM: DAVE!!
[Stalker holds Daymon on his shoulders, and begins SPRINTING toward the near window with a rebel yell! Daymon’s eyes flutter open as they pass by the camera, and out of desperation, Rocko REACHES FOR IT!! The fans at home view a world of BLURS as the camera swings around and ends up going into Stalker’s FACE, who curses madly as he collapses to the crowd! The camera rolls for a moment and goes to static as it hits the ground. The audio picks up a scuffle and the sound of glass breaking.]
DT: Oh no, our camera is down!
DM: We gotta go to black…
DT: Not yet, come on, somebody get another camera out there!!
DM: Dave, this is serious! The network is SCREAMING AT US!!
MN: Yeah, Dave! Think about the fans who want to watch their CSI: Special Victims Unit, or whatever crap comes on after this!
DT: GET ANOTHER CAMERA OUT THERE, DAMMNIT!!
[Our view returns as a camera hurries through a doorway and into the parking lot, quickly pitching it’s view skyward and catching the window where the action continues to happen! The fans CHEER as we see Rocko Daymon back in control, fiercely RAMMING Stalker’s face into the glass window pane repeatedly, causing a spiderweb of fractures to spread out from the point of impact!]
DT: That window looks like it could give way at any minute! But Stalker nearly looks DEAD!!
[Stalker is finally limp and unmoving, perhaps even not breathing, and Daymon tosses his beaten figure out of view. With labored breathing, the World Champion leans on the glass window overlooking the parking lot below, victorious.]
DM: Good, Rocko won the fight, can we GO TO BLACK ALREADY?!
DT: Okay, fine… ladies and gentlemen, we’re the broadcast team, this is Aggression, tune in next time when—
[*CRASH!!]
OH MY GAAAAAWWWDDD!!!
[Like a Die Hard villain, STALKER, seemingly back from the dead, PLOWS INTO DAYMON AND CARRIES HIM THROUGH THE GLASS!! There’s a RAIN of glass shards as both men tumble over the edge!! Many fans in the arena SCREAM IN TERROR!!]
DT: DAYMON’S HANGING ON!! HE’S HANGING ON!!
[The camera, never leaving the two enemies, zooms in on Rocko Daymon as he clings to the edge of the window, palms of his hand DIGGING into a blade of glass, while Stalker continues to cling around his waist, trying to drag him down! Both men are in a state of absolute limbo as Daymon DESPERATELY tries to climb back inside!]
DM: By his fingertips, and STALKER’S there with him, but… Dave, we’re going off NOW!
DT: Ladies and gentlemen, I’m Dave—
[The audio abruptly cuts out as we’re given a lasting image of Rocko Daymon hanging by his fingertips… when a pair of jeans and cowboy boots suddenly appear right above his head. With a beacon of hope in sight, Daymon reaches up with his free arm for the other man to help him up…]
[…and gets a cowboy boot BURIED into his jaw!!]
[Fans in attendance SCREAM as Daymon’s grip finally slips away and both men PLUMMET THREE STORIES TO THE PARKING LOT BELOW…]
[*CCCRRRAAAASSSSHHHH!!!*]
[AND ON TOP OF A CAR!! Windows EXPLODE as two human forms CAVE IN the top and disappear somewhere amid a mess of twisted metal and glass!! In the distance, sirens can be heard approaching, and the camera pans back up to the window…]
[Standing there, with a victorious and evil smile on his face, is “TRIPLE X” SEAN STEVENS… standing beside NAKITA DAHAKA…]
[Cut to black. Copyright. THE END.]