[Cue up: “Love Me or Hate Me” by Lil Wayne. The capacity crowd immediately begins BOOING with spite!]
DT: Wait a minute, what’s THIS all about??
DM: I don’t know, Dave… but from the sound of it, it seems like the former champion is here to make his presence known tonight!
[The curtain is violently ripped aside as the “Blue-Eyed Badass” makes his stately entrance, clad in black tights and the new 100% cotton “King of the Gladiators” t-shirt, welcomed with a PEAL of jeers from the audience, but a noticeable contingent of cheers from Stevens’ hometown—and mostly female—supporters.]
DT: Quite a seething response from this Orlando crowd directed at the former champion!
MN: Excuse me, isn’t this Stevens’ HOMETOWN?! Can’t these stupid fans show the man a bit of RESPECT!?
DM: Given how this man acts and operates, I doubt his own MOTHER would cheer for him coming to the ring.
MN: Oh, whatever…
DT: But it looks like he’s dressed to compete! He’s not scheduled to—
DM: Wait, who’s that coming out of the entry-way behind him!
[Literally COLLAPSING out onto the stage is a bruised PAUL FREEMAN, looking like he’s just been mugged in a back alley… and only a moment later, NAKITA DAHAKA follows him out, lighting prodding the EPW General Manager with a couple boots until he forces himself onto his feet. Stevens leads the way to the ring as Dahaka continue to goad Freeman after him. The GM looks completely unwilling.]
DT: Why, that’s Empire Pro General Manager PAUL FREEMAN!! My God, what have they DONE to him!?
MN: Probably asked him nicely to accompany the FALLEN out to the ring, and when he REFUSED, well… convinced him through other means!
DM: I don’t know where this is going, but I have a BAD feeling. The Gruesome Twosome is coming to the ring together with the EPW General Manager practically held hostage, and Sean Stevens has a VERY unsettling smile on his face!
DT: Does the former champion have something up his sleeve tonight??
[Stevens scales the steps, slips through the ropes, and pumps up a turnbuckle to pose for the booing fans around him, several times pointing to his chest and making the “belt” motion around his waist. Dropping back down to the mat, he turns to Dahaka, who has wrangled Paul Freeman in with them. Stevens promptly calls for a mic…]
TRIPLE X: Forgive the interruption, ladies and gentlemen. I know you were all just casually watching tonight’s Princes of the Cage tournament, peacefully gorging your ugly faces and allowing your filthy, cracker offspring to scream and whine until appeased with buckets of ice cream. But you see, new events have recently unfolded backstage … and as the greatest WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION in EPW's six year history, the one and only KING of EPW, and well ... the only really noteworthy thing to come out of Orlando since Mickey Mouse... [Resounding Boos.] I felt it necessary to break the news to ALL of you here tonight and watching at home!
[Stevens turns to Freeman, who practically winces at the cutting gaze of “Triple X,” perhaps fearing more abuse. The former champion approaches him with predatory body language and gets in close to his face.]
TRIPLE X: Come on, Freeman … tell these people what you told ME earlier. It's your turn to talk now.
[Stevens rams the mic into his hand, and Freeman hesitantly takes it. The audience hushes as Freeman unwillingly speaks…]
PAUL FREEMAN: Ladies and gentlemen… earlier in the evening… the former champion “Triple X” Sean Stevens approached the front office in regards to his rematch clause for the EPW World Heavyweight Title.
Now, allow me to explain… every competitor that signs a contract with Empire Pro has a special clause that states if they should ever succeed in becoming the prestigious EPW World Heavyweight Champion, they would be granted an automatic title shot upon losing the title. This is a rule that has stood in place since the beginning of Empire Pro, when I was the original owner.
Fans… I regret to inform you that this… this PIECE OF TRASH—
[Before Freeman can outright curse Stevens to his face, Dahaka steps forward and SMACKS Freeman hard against the back of the head! Freeman rubs the sore spot and regains his bearings.]
PAUL FREEMAN: …I regret to inform you all… that “Triple X” Sean Stevens has DEMANDED his rematch… TONIGHT!
[Resounding BOOS fill the entire arena!]
DM: OH MAN!! Sean Stevens is really jumping on that rematch clause!
DT: But we don’t even know the condition of the champion!! Is this even LEGAL?!
MN: Shut up and listen, Dave!
[Stevens gestures to Freeman to go on.]
PAUL FREEMAN: Ladies and gentlemen… as an executive member of Empire Pro and the designated enforcer of the official rules and regulations… I have no choice but to recognize “Triple X” Sean Stevens’ claim to a rematch!
Here tonight in Orlando, Florida… the EPW Heavyweight Champion ROCKO DAYMON must defend his title in an officially sanctioned rematch… which will begin at the time of the challenger’s request.
TRIPLE X: I'd say right now sounds pretty swell.
PAUL FREEMAN: Folks, I’m sorry, I—
TRIPLE X: Alright, shut up, your turn to talk is over.
[Stevens goes to the ropes and points a finger at Tony Fatora.]
TRIPLE X: You, Dumbass Number One… do your job! And while you’re at it, tell Dumbass Number Two to pull the cork out of his ass and ring the bell! And somebody GET A REFEREE DOWN HERE NOW!!
[Stevens drops the mic and removes his shirt, tossing it to a cluster of young female fans in the front row, who immediately rip it to shreds, as a few ring officials hurry to their tasks.]
DT: I just CANNOT BELIEVE this is HAPPENING right now!
MN: Oh come on, Dave! I was getting BORED watching all this stupid tag action! Now we get a TITLE MATCH!? MAN, talk about a huge surprise!
DM: This is INDEED a surprise, but I still can’t shake the feeling that Sean Stevens knows a little more than he’s letting on right now! We don’t even know if the champion is in the ARENA tonight, and to be quite honest, just watching “Triple X” push the hard-working Empire Pro employees around tonight is making me sick to my stomach!
DT: You’re not alone, Dean-O.
MN: Oh, shut up, the both of you! We’re practically the HIGHEST PAID employees! Who CARES about those ditch-diggers?!
[A referee comes running down the ramp as Dahaka prevents Freeman from leaving the ring, and Tony Fatora reenters the ring.]
TF: Ladies and gentlemen… the following contest is an officially sanctioned REMATCH for the EPW World Heavyweight Title! Introducing first, the challenger… hailing from Orlando, Florida and weighing in at 245 pounds. He is the 2007 Wrestler of the Year… the former EPW World Heavyweight Champion… the “Blue-Eyed Badass… SEAN… “TRIPLE ECKS”… STEEEEEVEEENNNS!!!
[Stevens briefly throws his arms into the air, getting TREMENDOUS HEAT from the fans…]
[…when “DEATH IS THIS COMMUNION” suddenly hits the PA! The fans POP to their feet!! We just see Stevens turning to the entrance when the LIGHTS go to black and a red haze forms over the stage!]
DT: OH MY, THE CHAMPION IS HERE!! We haven’t seen or heard anything from him in several weeks, but he’s HERE TONIGHT in ORLANDO!!
DM: This must settle the mystery at last, Dave! If Daymon’s HERE, then he MUST be ready to defend his title!
MN: Oh yeah, well WHERE IS HE?!
[Moments pass, and nobody appears on stage. The music continues for another minute. Stevens can be seen impatiently pacing back and forth in the ring.]
DT: I… don’t know quite how to answer that one, Neels. The music is playing, but still, nobody has stepped through that curtain.
MN: Great, so somebody call up the guys in the sound truck out back and tell ‘em to stop screwing around!
DM: You know, maybe we were wrong, but—
DT: Wait, THERE HE IS!!
[A TREMENDOUS POP shakes the arena as ROCKO DAYMON, in full wrestling regalia, steps through the curtain and onto the stage, looking intently at the man waiting for him in the ring! On his left shoulder the World Heavyweight Title hangs loosely. In spite of the cheering fans around him, his eyes do not leave Sean Stevens, who stands with a broad smile on his face.]
TF: And his opponent… hailing from Tacoma, Washington, and weighing in at two hundred and forty three pounds… he is the EPW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION… He is the Legend, the Myth, the MAN…
ROCKOOOOOO DAAAAAYYYMMMOOOOONNNN!!!
DT: The champion IS HERE!! And he looks READY TO DEFEND!! I don’t believe it, we’re going to see a REMATCH of their Black Dawn epic battle here TONIGHT, and—
DM: OH MAN, LOOK AT THAT!!
[The cheers suddenly become GASPS of shock and awe as Daymon drops the belt from his shoulder and reveals a CAST and SLING in place on his right arm, earlier obstructed by the large belt. Daymon looks at his wounded limb for a moment and into the crowd of stunned onlookers, somewhat apologetically, and with the title in tow makes his way to the ring.]
DT: Uh… uh… ladies… ladies and gentlemen, I… I don’t know quite what to SAY right now… it… uh, it APPEARS as though Rocko Daymon is legitimately INJURED!!
DM: This must have been why everybody’s kept it a secret! That injury is a DEATH SENTENCE to Rocko Daymon’s title reign, and now he’s being FORCED to come down here and defend thanks to Sean Stevens’ rematch clause!
MN: OH MAN, THIS IS THE GREATEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE!!
DT: This WAS all part of Sean Stevens’ plan! He intentionally kicked him off the ledge of that window to INJURE him and secure a virtual FREE RIDE back to the World Title!
MN: Come on, Dave, you can’t deny that’s BRILLIANT!!
DM: While that may be debatable, Mike, I don’t think there’s a SOUL in this arena that doesn’t want to see Stevens’ head on a pike right now!
DT: And what about the champion? What can he DO with an injury like that?
DM: Nothing, Dave. He can do nothing but come to the ring and go through the motions!
[Daymon rises on the steps and enters the ring, taking great care not to aggravate his arm. He pays no mind to the audience, keeping the title dangling in his healthy hand as he approaches the center of the ring and stands eye to eye with Stevens, who hasn’t stopped smiling since seeing him appear with the cast in place. The music promptly ends, and while the two foes are practically nose to nose with Daymon staring daggers into the heart of his old rival, Dahaka shoves Freeman toward them and puts a mic into his hand.]
PAUL FREEMAN: Mr. Daymon… there’s no easy way to say this. As the World Heavyweight Champion, it is your DUTY to defend the title when required to. And if you are unable to, then you have no choice than to forfeit the title to the challenger… Sean Stevens…
[Daymon holds the belt out in front of him for a moment later, looking at up close for a final few moments… and finally, he recklessly THROWS IT at the feet of Sean Stevens. With his final act as champion made, Daymon turns and steps through the ropes, again tending to his arm, and heads up the ramp without delay.]
DT: I can’t believe it. He just THREW it down on the mat! That’s it… the short-lived reign is over.
DM: As a former wrestler, I can say beyond a doubt that there’s no worse feeling that having to give up something that precious to you over something completely out of your control.
[Back in the ring, Stevens savors the sight of Daymon leaving in shame for a moment longer, before bending down and retrieving HIS title and proceeding to strap it to his waist. Behind him, Dahaka can be seen wrenching the mic out of Freeman’s hand and props one of Stevens’ arms.]
DAHAKA: Ladies and gentlemen… HERE is your NEW EPW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION…
“TRIPLE X”
SEEEEEAAAAAAANNNN SSSTEEEEEEVVEEEEEEENNNSSS!!!!
[Stevens immediately pumps up to a turnbuckle and POSES over a mass of jeering fans, pointing at the belt and his face simultaneously as dozens of lights from press photographers flash from beneath him. “Love Me or Hate Me” by Lil Wayne pumps over the PA, and the now former World Champion Rocko Daymon continues walking up the ramp without looking back.]
DT: “Triple X” is the WORLD CHAMPION once again! Who would have BELIEVE… the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE changing hands here tonight on Aggression!
DM: Anything can happen in the sport of professional wrestling, Dave, and this here tonight proves just that! I think by reacquiring that title, “Triple X” Sean Steven also secures himself as EPW’s first TWO-TIME World Champion!
MN: Alright, POWER to the new champ!
[Stevens promptly goes to Fatora and rips the mic from his hand and points up the ramp, where Daymon is still slowly walking back to the locker room.]
TRIPLE X: Hang on, Rocko! I got something to say to you…
[As if not hearing him, Daymon continues up the ramp and onto the stage.]
Triple X: Hey… HEY!! ROCKO!! What, did the fall kill your HEARING TOO?! I F*CKED YOUR WIFE! The very least that you could do is FACE ME, you piece of sh*t!!
[Daymon ignores him again and disappears unceremoniously through the curtain.]
TRIPLE X: Well, FINE!! I don't need to stare at your ugly mug to say what I need to say!
[Stevens turns away from the stage and faces the crowd to address them…]
TRIPLE X: You people want to know what a B*TCH is?! A b*tch is a guy can't even break through the glass ceiling right! A man who fights his entire life for one moment, only to--
[...And finds that his mic is cut off. He thumps it against the heel of his hand, to no avail. He checks Dahaka's mic to find that it's not working either. A scowl crosses his face then, and he stomps over to the corner closest to the timekeeper's station to demand a new mic.]
[It's at this precise moment that the opening chords to "YER MAJESTY" by SHINEDOWN rip through the arena. Stevens' head snaps to the curtain and Freeman looks a little bit relieved to see Lindsay Troy sauntering out onto the stage with her own microphone in hand. The crowd roars as the Queen signals for the music to stop, gives pause, then raps her own mic against her hand. The resounding feedback echoes off the confines of the arena and Troy lifts the mic to her lips, satisfied.]
TROY: That's funny. Mine works.
[Laughter from the crowd. Stevens? Not finding it funny.]
TROY: I heard there was this thing going on out here and I was watching everything unfold and I felt compelled to go check the nameplate on my door. You might be wondering why. See, I was pretty sure that the placard had the word OWNER on it but, pfft, you never know...my eyesight could be going. So I got up out of my fancy leather chair, walked the whole ten feet to the door in my fancy shoes and WOULDN'T YA KNOW IT, it DID say OWNER on it! What a coincidence!
[Sarcasm? It's dripping. Troy starts to walk slowly down the ramp.]
TROY: I'm bringing this up because everyone and their MOMS knows that Sean Stevens wouldn't have the SACK to bring this little clause up to me. Might be because he has mommy issues. Might be because he's a spineless piece of sh[BLEEP]...
[Pauses.]
TROY: Yeah yeah, family show, whatever. Or it might be because Seanykins knows that I still carry the Stars with me and I'd just as soon cut grooves in him deeper than the ones in the Aggro Crag than listen to this ridiculousness. Because believe me, this ispretty ridiculous, almost as much as Paul Freeman thinking he's the end-all, be-all executer of EPW Law. That...would be me.
[Crowd: RAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!]
TROY: Oh what, did you think with Dan gone that meant the mice get to play their way. Why do I always have to straighten you people out?! [Shakes her head] Anyway Paul, you can peace on outta there now.
[He moves to leave. ]
[... Just as Nakita Dahaka steps in front of him, staring a hole in him that keeps him still, if only for a moment.]
TROY: [to Dahaka] Really wouldn't be doing that if I were you. [to Stevens] Gotta thank you though, Sean, because you bought me some time from having to deal with this as the first line of defense. I had an inkling that you'd try to pull some shenanigans, so I called an emergency board meeting earlier to ratify that pesky little loophole, which was really just Dan and I talking about "America's Got Talent" and then me telling him I was changing the game up.
[Crowd: RAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!]
[Troy enters the ring and she's smirking.]
TROY: See, nobody gets handed ANYTHING for free in my company. You get a rematch as your right for being the last champ, something that EYE never got, but you don't get to name it without a sign-off on my part. As far as I'm concerned, Rocko Daymon has vacated the title [Crowd: BOOOOOOOOO!] but you are NOT the new EPW Heavyweight Champion. [Crowd: RAHHHHHHHH!] You want this title back? You earn it on Aggression 38 by taking on the Number One Contender. Who, by my calculations...
[She breaks out the Blackberry Pearl and makes a show of ostentatiously pushing random buttons on it]
TROY: Is Jericoholic Anonymous.
[Nakita Dahaka wrestles a mic out of the hand of Tony Fedora and hands it to Sean, who casually raises it to his mouth.]
TRIPLE X: JA? That's about as ridiculous as your spiel about never getting a rematch for MY title. Unless, Russian Roulette didn't count? Then again, if one man beat the hell out of me and my spouse at the same time, I'd probably try to forget it, too. You see, you think you run things around here, Troy ... but, the truth of the matter is since that moment where you lost your smile, leaving Empire Pro high and dry because you lost your first match in two years ... it ceased from being your promotion. I'm the one who carried Empire on his back, I'm the one who kept it relevant, and I am the only person that can realistically call this promotion “mine.”
F[Bleeeeeep]k you, f[Bleeeeeep]k JA, and f[bleeeeeeeeeeep]k your stupid idea. This is MY belt.
TROY: Hey, no skin off my nose, Craggy. You don't like it, then don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya. I'll make sure to FedEx you your last paycheck in the mail. Consider your ass, and your contract, TERMINATED.
[A gasp through the arena, then massive cheers.]
TROY: [grinning] Oh, right, Dan said I could add that part in.
TRIPLE X: It figures. The SECOND most overrated wrestler on the planet delivering long distance insults from the FIRST. How cute. But, I'm not giving either of you what you want. I could quit today and go make a million dollars just for being pretty, but when I do quit ... it'll be on MY terms.
TROY: Ah ah ah...changing your tune now. Figures. [SMIRK~!] Well fine, Harvey Two Face, guess I'll be seeing you at 38. But one more thing before you go.
[She holds out her hand.]
TROY: I'll be taking that belt back now.
TRIPLE X: If you wanted to touch the EPW World Heavyweight Championship again, all you had to do was ask, Lindsay.
[He slings it at her feet.]
TRIPLE X: Hang on to it until Aggression 38. Hell, take it to JA's locker room, and let him get a glimpse of it. It's as close as the both of you will EVER get to calling it yours.
DT: Gentlemen, it looks like we have ourselves a main event for Aggression 38!
DM: I, for one, am excited! Triple X vs. Jerichoholic Anonymous for the richest prize in our industry! No hand-outs, nothing's for free, you have to WORK to be the EPW World Champion, and Lindsay Troy laid down the law tonight!
MN: Her jealousy is so blatantly obvious, it's sickening! Whether Triple X is awarded the title tonight, or beats JA next week, the end result is still the same!
NEXT