[Cut to the backstage area, just outside the office of EPW’s interim Owner and General Manager, as well as the federation’s most prolific World Heavyweight Champion, Lindsay Troy. The door is closed, and perhaps with good reason, as we can hear two very aggressive voices engaged in a verbal war. Troy’s biting words are very prolific as she argues with an as of yet unidentified man. Just to the left of the door is a bench for those waiting for an audience with the Queen of the Ring, currently occupied by two sullen individuals…]

[They are “THE FORMER ESCAPE ARTIST” Erik Black and “THE EX-RAGING RUSSIAN” Ivan Dalkichev, now unwillingly billed as The Crimson Calling. Noticeably bored, they sit with their hands supporting their hanging heads, seemingly waiting for the tumult inside to come to its end. Finally, it does, and we hear Troy sternly saying “just get the hell out”, and the door soon bursts open. A flustered Nathan Fear exits and abandons all courteously by slamming the door behind him. Red-faced [or should be say, CRIMSON-faced! *rimshot*], he turns to his team.]

Fear: Well boys, I have some bad news. Apparently, Ms. Troy is a bit too NARROW-MINDED to realize this team’s potential, which means we won’t be getting that shot at the tag titles at the upcoming Pay Per View.

Black: Oh… shock.

[Erik and Ivan look completely unsurprised and unfazed by this declaration. Their apathy only seems to further agitate their manager.]

Fear: If the two of YOU had been picking up your slack, we wouldn’t even BE in this situation! I swear, sometimes I wonder why I’m blowing so much money on the both of you! I’m trying to spread a message to the American people, and that message doesn’t quite sink in when the two of you go out there and much it up all the time!

[With a gruff rumble of nuisance, Fear stomps onward down the hall, signaling for them to follow. Erik and Ivan take their sweet time getting to their feet and simultaneously shake their heads in dismay.]

Dalkichev: Bro?

Black: Sup, dude?

Dalkichev: This blows donkey balls.

Black: You’re tellin’ me, man. It’s like, ever since the Boss came back, the balls have been surgically stripped from the undeniably awesome tag team we once were. And you wanna know something?

[He turns to his partner, narrowing his eyes.]

Black: I think I’ve had enough of this ****.

[Ivan nods gravely.]

Dalkichev: The same, bro. I just wish we could walk away and tell him to, uh… how do you say, shine it where the sun don’t stick?

Black: Close. But yeah, dude, I know what you mean. Fear’s done nothing but hold us down ever since he came back, and gone to great lengths to royally eff up our mojo, ya know? I’d love to just say to his face that we’re through… but those damn contracts are air tight. We pretty much sold our souls to the devil without really thinking about it all those years ago…

[In frustration, Ivan hits his own palm.]

Dalkichev: D’AH!! I just wish he never came back! I dunno… I just wish, like, he’d go crazy again or something, and we’d be free to do what we did when it was just us on our own!

[Erik nods, and then… *DING!* His eyes widen with a sudden revelation.]

Black: You know what, ‘Van Halen? That right there is a wish that we can easily make into a reality!

[Ivan throws him a questionable look, but Erik is already digging for his cell phone. He dials the one number he dials more than any other number in his contacts list and holds it to his ear.]

Black: Yo, Reggie? Hey, it’s Erik. I was wondering if you could help me out…

[A wry smile crosses “The Former Escape Artist’s” face as we go back to the commentary team at ringside.]

[Silence abounds amongst the commentators as we cut to Nakita Dahaka and Stalker, conferring with one another in the ring.]

DT: Y-yes, well.. as we welcome you back to ringside, the Fallen have made their entrance and are awaiting the arrival of two men who should prove to be quite the handful for the pair.

DM: In looking at the Dark Phenom specifically, times have been a bit rocky of late. But a win here against this newly-formed Cruise/Hiroshi alliance could be just what the doctor ordered to get back on the winning trail.

DT: Well, barring the ingestion of any caustic confectionary treats, I'd wager the Fallen have the upper hand here given their experience together and their chemistry in tag team matches.

MN: You KNOW Reeves is hittin' that, right?

SJH: No doubt, baby! 

MN: Heh - you're feelin' the bigger girls, aren't ya!

SJH: I'd bed her, but I wouldn't wed her.

MN: Word.

DM: Good grief…

[CUEUP: “Wings of a Butterfly” by H.I.M. A train of MUFFINS crosses over the Empire-Tron and the crowd responds loudly with a mixed chorus of cheers and jeers. Seconds later, Cameron Cruise and Kin Hiroshi emerge onto the entryway.]

DT: Cameron Cruise is very accomplished as a tag team wrestler, but if this new-found friendship with the Muffin Man continues to develop, I think this could be as formidable a team as any that he's been a part of in the past.

[CUTTO: Tony Fatora, standing beside Dahaka and Reeves in the ring.]

TF: And their opponents... coming in at a combined weight of FOOOOOUR HUNDRED EIGHTY-NINE POUNDS........... KIIIIN HIROOOSHIII... and CAAAAMEROON CRUUUUUUUISE!!

[CUTTO: With the pyrotechnics booming behind them, Cruise and Hiroshi begin the march to battle looking cool and confident.]

DM: I think we could take it even further, Dave. Because if this thing's legit, I think the whole of the tag team division is in for a whole heap of trouble. Not to mention their individual merits.

[Cam and Kin continue to storm down the ramp and toward the ring, seemingly on a collision course with their opponents. Inside the ring, Nakita and Stevens look equally focused.]

MN: Well, all I've got to say is I'm glad Cameron Cruise has finally pulled his head out of his ass and found himself a credible counterpart.

DT: I think Joey Melton might have something to say about that.

SJH: Psshhh... Melton's like the Sarah Palin of wrestling. You might think he's HOTTER than Mama Hart's Three Alarm Chili, but when ya get right down to it... he doesn't have the GOODS to get the job done! And neither does Cruise for that matter! Hiroshi's gonna carry his ass like I carry this commentary team!

[Kin is the first to climb the steps and squeeze through the ropes. Cruise follows in short order. Almost immediately, the official forms a barrier between them and the Fallen.]

DM: Anybody else you'd like to call out before you do your job, Hart?

SJH: Michael Bay will perish in flames!!! The Island SHANT be forgotten!

MN: Hear hear!

[After some gamesmanship from both sides, the official finally manages to get the teams into their respective corners.]

DT: Alright now, both teams look to be in position. The Muffin Man slides back through the ropes, leaving Cruise to start the match. On the other side, it looks like Stalker is first up.

DM: Both men had harsh words for one another in the weeks leading up to tonight's match. Now we'll see just who has who's number.

[The referee calls for the opening bell!]

DT: And we're underway here, as Reeves approaches his opponent.

DM: Look at Cruise smirk at him. I'm telling ya, something has gotten into Cameron Cruise.

DT: Cruise... appears to be shrugging Stalker off. Total disrespect being displayed by the former tag team champ... and STALKER RESPONDS WITH A SLAP TO THE FACE OF CRUISE!

DM: He's obviously not gonna put up with this kind of overt cockiness.

DT: Hard smack by Stalker, and yet Cruise CONTINUES to goad him. Cameron Cruise is sneering and snorting, practically BEGGING Reeves to try it again!

SJH: Shoot, if it's a smack he wants - I'd be tickled PINK to oblige.

DT: Hiroshi is shouting some instructions to Cruise now... and it looks like we're finally going to have a serious match. Cruise now - approaches Stalker and it looks like he's challenging him to a test of strength!

MN: Old school 'rasslin at its finest, folks.

DT: Cruise has his hands up in the air and Stalker, who appears anxious to impose his will in this match-up, is easing his left hand into Cruise's.

DM: My money's on Stalker.

DT: With one set of hands locked in, Stalker now motions his right hand toward-

[SMACK!]

DT: Cameron Cruise UNLOADS a slap of his own to the face Stalker!

DM: Apparently he doesn't respect anything anymore.

DT: Cruise attempting ANOTHER slap, but Stalker ducks it and counters with a BIIIG UPPERCUT!!

SJH: There ya go, nnnnnndaddio! Smack yo ***** UP!

DT: He took that one right on the chin and is slumped over in pain! And here's Stalker now with a KNEE LIFT, connecting square with Cruise's face! 

DM: That'll learn 'im.

DT: Cruise is doing his best to regain his bearings and rub some feeling back into that chin, but STALKER won't have any of that as he looks to continue the assault.

MN: Stalker looks PISSED!

DT: Reeves has his clutches on Cruise's slumped shoulders. but CRUISE is back up in a hurry and CHARGING at Stalker with a lariat attempt! Stalker quickly sidesteps Cruise, and as Cameron turns back to face his opponent, STALKER catches his hips... AND NAILS HIM WITH A SIDE SUPLEX!

SJH: He's hurting, Dave. He's taken hard shots to the chin and now the ribs as well. I love it.

DM: All of Stalker's weight toppled right over Cruise's midsection as the two came crashing to the mat. A perfectly executed suplex by Stalker.

DT: Quick cover by Stalker!

ONE....




TWOOO.....




KICKOUT BY CRUISE!

DM: Little early in the match, but I like that Stalker's looking for the win.

DT: Stalker quickly back on the attack as he grabs Cruise by the legs, flips him over on the canvas…… and DROPS an elbow - rrrrright to the small of his back! Cruise is trying to muster up some strength and crawl away, but Stalker pulls him back toward his corner. Nakita quickly reaches out and the tag is MADE as the Dark Phenom makes hops into the ring.

SJH: The Dark wha?

DT: Dahaka wasting no time at all here as she steps over Cruise and hooks in with a reverse chin lock!

MN: Pshhh... rest hold city.

DM: Now Neely, we can't underestimate the cumulative effect of these kinds of holds. If she keeps it up, Cruise is gonna be fighting for each and every breath!

DT: Nakita is really cranking on that neck! Cruise is in trouble early!

DM: Cruise is in a bad position, here. He's too far away from the ropes to get a hold on them and Nakita is really cinching in on that neck. It's almost morphed from a chin lock into a rear naked choke-like maneuver.

MN: LOOK OUT!

[Out of nowhere, Kin comes into the ring and connects with a stiff kick to Nakita's neck.]

DT: Hiroshi enters the ring illegally and DRILLS the Dark Phenom to break the hold! Nakita is DOWN!

SJH: Kin's on it like I'm on onion booty!

DT: The referee is now admonishing the Muffin Man, guiding him back to his corner... and now Stalker is back in the ring with some harsh words of his own for Hiroshi! The referee is struggling to keep these two apart.

DM: He's gotta be careful here. This thing's gonna break down if he can't reel it back in.

DT: Dahaka is finding her feet after the blow from Kin Hiroshi, but Cruise is getting up as well…. Nakita with her back to Cruise... and as she turns back toward the man he catches her with a jab to the stomach! Cruise... struggling back to his feet now as Nakita also struggles to get back to a standing position. Cruise - sizes Nakita up.... and CONNECTS with a KNIFE-EDGE CHOP to her chest!

SJH: Look at those babies bounce, Dave.

MN: HOLY HOOTERS!

[SMACK!]

DT: Cruise continues with ANOTHER chop across the chest of Nakita Dahaka! Cruise setting in with a THIRD chop now!

SJH: That bastard - he's damaging the merchandise!

DT: Cruise now... grasps Dahaka by the wrist and SWINGS her toward the far-side ropes with an Irish Whip! Back the other way now and Cameron Cruise swings around Nakita and locks in a SLEEPER HOLD!

DM: One good turn deserves another.

DT: Cruise is really wrenching in on the hold. He has a vice-like grip on the head of the Dark Phenom! Cruise now, backing into his corner and reaching out for the tag! Here comes Kin Hiroshi with a series of hooks and jabs to the midsection while Cruise continues to yank back on Nakita's neck! The referee initiates a count, but Cruise alertly finds his corner before its conclusion.

SJH: So I know I'm a total jackhole, but even I will tell ya that double-teaming a broad like this is NOT cool.

DT: Now it's Nakita and Kin Hiroshi... with Nakita already reeling. Hiroshi... scooping Nakita up, and DROPPING HER with a hard body slam! Nakita is doubled over in pain!

MN: The Muffin Man ain't messin' around.

DT: Hiroshi YANKS Dahaka up by her hair, pulls her back to her feet.... and sends her SHOOTING face-first into the turnbuckle! The impact of that Irish whip was so great, Nakita was repelled backward upon impact... and here comes Kin, catching Nakita as she stumbles backward and sending her back down to the canvas with a LEAPING BULLDOG!!

DM: Dahaka's in big trouble, Dave.

DT: Hiroshi drops to the mat, rolls over Nakita, and the official is there for the

ONE........




TWOOO........




STALKER is in for the save!

DM: This isn't the first time 'round the block for the Fallen. They weren't about to go out like that.

DT: And now the official is pushing Stalker back into his corner.... meanwhile, CAMERON CRUISE has reentered the ring and the two men continue to punish Nakita! Hiroshi's got the Dark Phenom propped up and Cruise is pounding into her with his fists! Stalker is doing his best to get the official to take notice, but the referee just wants him out!

SJH: Oy... the only thing on this girl that should ever be getting pounded is her sweet ass! These guys are crossing a line.

MN: Come now, Shawn. Girl wants to play with the boys... she's bound to get roughed up every once in awhile.

DT: Hiroshi has the waist lock on Nakita, gathers himself... AND SENDS HER FLYING ACROSS THE RING WITH A RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX!!

DM: Sick impact on that suplex!

DT: The official finally turns back to the action in the ring, but Hiroshi has already retreated back to his corner and Cruise is back in the ring.... without being tagged, I might add.

MN: Rules are meant to be broken, Thomas.

[CUTTO: A close-up of Kin as he cracks a grin.]

DM: Look at Hiroshi smile. These guys are obviously out here to prove something tonight.. and whatever it is, it isn't good.

DT: Nakita is pulling herself toward her corner as Cruise stalks and saunters toward her…. Stalker’s hand is stretched out for the tag, but Cruise will have none of that. He’s got Nakita and he’s… he’s pulling her up by the hair!

SJH: Now I’ll be the FIRST to admit that hair-pulling is sexy like Sally Struthers in the proper-setting, but what kind of statement do these jokers think they’re making here?

DM: C’mon Shawn, you know as well as anybody that stuff like that is part of the game. Not saying I condone it, but I think a girl with the gumption of Nakita Dahaka knows what she’s up against.

DT: Cruise – propping Dahaka up, locking in the neck, hoisting her into the air…. And DROPPING her with a vertical suplex!

DM: Look at the face of Hiroshi, he’s still having a good laugh at all of this.

MN: Maybe he’s just on a sugar high from one of those muffins!

DT: Cruise going for cov- No, no…He looks to be mounting Dahaka’s limp body from behind..

SJH: Say WHA?!

[In the background, Hiroshi drops to the floor and begins to move covertly around the ring.]

DT: Cruise is now PULLING THE HAIR of Nakita Dahaka! It looked as if he was set to go for the pinfall attempt, but instead Cruise continues his dirty deeds! The referee is warning Cruise to stop, but he’s got a death grip on Nakita’s hair!

MN: Wait a minute… what’s Hiroshi doing?

DT: Cruise has Dahaka by the hair, but Hiroshi is making his way towards Stalker… Stalker doesn’t see him!!

[SMACK!]

DT: Hiroshi takes Stalker’s feet out from under him and his face smacked HARD against the ring apron as a result! Stalker is DOWN and the referee is forced to turn his attention away from Cruise and Dahaka! Hiroshi has Stalker back up on his feet now and…

[CRASH!]

MN: Yeeeouch!

DT: Stalker is sent HARD into the guard rail by Kin Hiroshi! His head LITERALLY bounced off the rail like a rubber ball! Stalker is writhing in pain on the arena floor! The referee is threatening to disqualify Cruise and Kin, but Hiroshi is quick to retreat back to his corner. Meanwhile Cruise has Dahaka up on his shoulders… and DOWN HARD to the canvas with a POWERBOMB!!

[Seconds after taking his place in the corner, Kin begins to ascend the turnbuckle.]

DT: Dahaka is in a world of hurt right now, and it looks like the Muffin Man is going up top!! The official is pleading with the man to return to his corner, but…

DM: Look out!

DT: GUILLOTINE LEG DROP ON DAHAKA!! Hiroshi hit the top rope, then CONNECTED on the leg drop – right across the neck and chest of the Dark Phenom! The official is motioning toward Hiroshi, but Kin quickly rolls under the bottom rope and out of the ring! Cruise… drops down for the cover… he’s got her leg…. the official is there-

ONE….







TWOOOO….






THREEE!!!!

[DING! DING! DING!]

TF: The WINNERS of this match…… KIN HIROSHI… and CAMERON… CRUUUISE!!

DM: Woooow!

DT: Nakita Dahaka has been PINNED by Cameron Cruise, and the Fallen have FALLEN!!

DM: They reeeeeeeally pushed the rules to their limits at the end there, Dave… I think they got away with just about all you can without getting smacked with the DQ..

SJH: Terrible… It’s one thing to cheat, it’s another to cheat with STYLE. These guys have NO style! They’re just a couple’a JACKHOLES out to make a name for themselves… and they’re doing it at the expense of a helpless woman!!

MN: Pshhh… like you never had a rough encounter with a chick.

SJH: Hey, those girls were bought and paid for!!! They knew they were gonna leave with sore booties AT BEST!

DT: The official is raising the hands of Hiroshi and Cruise. They’ve notched the win despite their actions here, as Stalker is still shaken up on the outside…

DM: He probably doesn’t even realize he’s lost yet.

DT: Hiroshi and Cruise look to be-