[Cut to: The scene opens with a camera following a man who’s clearly wearing a mask. The fans erupt, knowing without hesitation that they’re looking at Jerichoholics Anonymous from behind. He’s followed down the hall before the former EPW World Heavyweight Champion knocks on an unmarked door. There is a long pause and JA raises his hand again, ready to knock. At that moment, he hears a voice from inside.]

Fusenshoff: Yeah.

[JA opens the door and walks into the room. The smell of musk mixed with ethanol attacks his nostrils. He knows Fuse doesn’t drink the day of a match, but he still reeks of it. JA steps inside and the camera pans to the TV champion. He is sitting on a bench with his head between his legs, obviously deep in thought and concentrating hard. The fans cheer loudly, though not quite the pop JA received. Fuse slowly raises his head and looks up at his friend, before sitting upright and offering a chair to the masked man..]

JA: This a bad time?

Fusenshoff: Nah, just prepping myself mentally. Not that inclined to spend the rest of my life as Reeves’ lackey.

JA: Damn Fuse, this is one comfy chair. It almost feels like a Swedish massage, minus the happy ending..

[Fusenshoff shifts in his chair a bit. A look of concern and wariness paints his face.]

JA: Whoa, whoa, whoa, don’t take that the wrong way now. I’ve got a lineup of cute young co-eds with fanboy boyfriends to take care of that for me. 

Fusenshoff: Well thank God for co-eds then.

JA: Amen brother. Well, since that ice breaker melted like the Arctic cap, I’ll just get right down to business. I stopped in hoping to raise your spirits a little. You’ve seemed kinda down in the dumps, what with Stalker ruining your matches every chance he gets.

Fusenshoff: Thanks man. The psycho’s been sending me on a downward spiral as steep as a corkscrew now that you mention it. I’ve been drinking like a father at his daughter’s wedding damn near every night.

JA: Well then take him out for good tonight. Hit him fast like J Roll and hard like Howard.. Leave him in the dust like you’re Brian Westbrook and send him home unemployed like the other fifteen percent of Americans.

Fusenshoff: Dude… I don’t watch baseball…

JA: That last one’s a football player actually… nevermind. Just remember, you’re Jeff Carter and he’s Claude Lemieux. He’s all washed up and you’re a young gun, primed to be a perennial Hart Trophy candidate in EPW.

Fusenshoff: Now you’re speaking my language, except I’m a Canucks fan. Either way you should’ve started with the hockey analogy.

JA: Well the Phillies just won the World Series and I figured… anyway, talk to me in June when the Stanley Cup comes to Philadelphia.

Fusenshoff: Not if Mats Sundin has anything to say about it.

JA: He doesn’t.

Fusenshoff: Right… anyway, thanks for the pep talk. I promise you I’ll either climb out of that cage or have to be carried out by paramedics. You can count on that.

JA: Glad to hear it… so good luck. Break an arm.

Fusenshoff: You mean leg. Break a leg.

JA: Don’t do that. Crutches suck.

[The scene fades as JA leaves the locker room and Fusenshoff shakes his head with a grin on his face. It’s a rare and fleeting grin on the face of the Television Champion.]

Non-Title
EPW Television Championship
Fusenshoff (c) vs. Stalker


DT: Now we have a match that was supposed to be a Television Title match, but surprisingly….earlier today Stalker told Lindsay Troy he wasn’t interested in the title.

DM: That shocked me Dave, but there’s already so much on the line in this match. If Stalker loses, he’s done- out of EPW. If he wins, Fusenshoff becomes a member of The Fallen.

MN: Think about it Dean, why hold the title when you own the champion?

DM: A surprisingly good point Mike. You took your medication today didn’t you?

MN: Just my Viagra. I put it to good use too. WOOOO!!!!

DM: Went and bought that new Jenna Jameson video, huh?

MN: I won’t dignify that question with a response…

DM: That’s what I thought.

MN: Let’s get back to the match… Stalker put it all on the line this time Dean. A common expression is ‘put up or shut up’ and that’s exactly what he did.

DM: And Fusenshoff’s playing with fire too. He finally gets his wish- a match without interference. Potentially more if he can end all the torture Stalker’s put him through with a win tonight.

MN: BUT when he loses… he’ll be a member of The Fallen and one step closer to becoming what Stalker wants him to be.

DT: No doubt, the ramifications of this match will have a big effect on all of EPW. Stalker’s been a huge player in EPW for years, boosting the prestige of the Fallen, sending Rocko Daymon to almost a year-long vacation, and making Fusenshoff’s life miserable. On the other hand, Fusenshoff could be put in a position that he never had any intention of finding himself in. We go to Tony Fatora for the introductions…

[Cue up “Did My Time” by Korn over the PA. He cracks his knuckles on the stage as the chorus of boos drown just about everything. Stalker smirks and walks down the ramp as signs read “Leave Fusenshoff Alone” and “Stalker The Career Killer”. He walks off to the side of the ring and walks into the cage. Fans boo him more and more as he holds up his hands, encouraging the jeers.]

TF: Standing six feet two inches tall and weighing two hundred twenty four pounds… from Parts Unkown… a founding member of The Fallen… SSSSSSSTTTAAALLKKKEERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!

MN: Look at the fire in his eyes Dean… I’ve never seen him like this.

DM: He looks as good as I’ve ever seen him Mike. He’s come prepared.

[Cue up "Wherever I May Roam" by Metallica as it hits over the sound system.

"And the road becomes my bride,
I am stripped of all but pride.
So in her I do confide
and she keeps me satisfied.
Gives me all I need."

Fusenshoff steps out from the entrance. No fireworks, just a spotlight, no superfluous spectacles. He's wearing a black leather jacket, wife beater, black jeans and black boots. He’s carrying the EPW World Television Title.

"And my ties are severed clean.
The less I have the more I gain.
Off the beaten path I reign.
Rover wand'rer nomad vagabond
call me what you will...."

He makes his way down to the ring without even looking out at the capacity crowd. His focus and concentration remains unwavering. The only thing on his mind is his worst enemy in the cage. He's not here for the fan support, the achievements, the glory. He's here because wrestling is his release. Wrestling eases his pain.

"Wherever I may roam
where I lay my head is home.
Carved upon my stone:
My body lies, but still I roam... yeah, yeah!"

Fusenshoff leaves his Television Title with the referee. He’s staring Stalker down as he steps into the cage. The two men take their respective corners, both looking to make this match a war.

DT: Look at these men… they’re both ready for Armageddon.

DM: And Fusenshoff looks the same as he always does. He’s the epitome of focus.

MN: He’ll be a great asset to The Fallen.

DM: Don’t jump to conclusions yet Mike.

DT: The bell rings and they’re both very methodical as they meet in the middle of the ring. They lock up as both try to gain leverage. Stalker knees Fuse in the stomach, but he doesn’t flinch. The TV champ returns the assault and Stalker just absorbs the blow. Finally Fusenshoff gets the upper hand and gets Stalker into an inverted headlock. He plants Stalker’s head into the mat and jumps on him before he can get up. Fuse lands rights and lefts before Stalker finally catches one of his swings. He reverses it and throws Fuse off him so he can get to his feet. The two men stare each other down as the fans cheer.

MN: Things are getting fast and furious right from the beginning.

DM: You getting paid for a plug like that, Mike? You know the new movie’s coming out.

MN: Thirty-seven cents every time I mention it.

DM: Wow. Don’t spend it all in one place.

DT: Stalker with a kick to the gut followed by a Fisherman Buster. Stalker picks up Fusenshoff immediately. He grabs him by the hair and slams his face into the cage… not ONCE… NOT TWICE… THREE TIMES Fusenshoff’s face smashes against the cage.

MN: I wonder if Stalker will have the power to make Fuse do that to himself once he controls his every move.

DM: How’s he gonna do that from the unemployment line?

MN: Clever- ridiculous, but clever.

DT: Fusenshoff has been cut open and blood is racing down his face. He’s holding his forehead as Stalker stomps him repeatedly. Stalker gouges his eyes and lets out a warrior’s roar.

MN: Stalker is PUMPED Dean. Watch out now.

DM: He looks good Mike. I’m not gonna argue with you.

DT: Fusenshoff gets to his feet as Stalker runs up for a clothesline. Fusenshoff ducks it and grabs a chunk of Stalker’s hair from behind. He uses his extraordinary quickness for a man his size, lifting up Stalker and executing a picture-perfect inverted Death Valley Driver. He wastes no time, putting Stalker in a Camel Clutch. The fans cheer as Stalker screams.

DM: Wow, that was fast. The tables have turned.

MN: Dammit! This can’t happen. Stalker’s my hero!

DT: Stalker with a brilliant reversal. He chops Fuse’s leg out from under him, who crashes to the mat. Stalker rolls away and jumps frantically at the cage. He starts to climb, but Fuse is fast to his feet and gets his hand around Stalker’s boot just in the knick of time. Fuse pulls to the point where he leaves his feet and they both crash to the mat. Fusenshoff is the first man up and grabs Stalker. He punches Stalker repeatedly… WOOO! WOOO! WOOO! The fans yell as the rights meet Stalker’s cheekbone. Fuse whips Stalker into the cage and his face collides with it. Fuse catches him before he falls, spinning him around… and he lands a Brain Buster in the middle of the ring. Fuse picks him up and hits… THE WHISKEY BOMB!

DM: There it is. I’m surprised he didn’t go for the Domination there, but The Whiskey Bomb is a brutal move too.

MN: NOOO!!!!! This can’t happen! Get up Stalker!

DT: Fuse heads for the cage and is climbing up it with incredible speed. Meanwhile Stalker is out in the middle of the ring. Stalker shows signs of life after about ten seconds and gets himself up off the mat.

DM: It’s too late! Fuse is out of reach now!

MN: I can’t believe this! What about The Fallen? How will Triple X fight so many enemies without an ally?

DT: Stalker is to his feet, but Fuse has his hand on the top of the cage. It’s just a formality now. This one’s over.

DM: Done deenee! Mike, are you crying? Mike?

DT: Stalker runs to the entrance door of the cage. He’s shaking the entire cage and screaming as loud as he can. Fusenshoff is losing his grip and looks like he’s about to fall.

DM: Wow, Stalker is a man possessed.

MN: ::sniffle:: ::sniffle:: Wha-?

DT: Fuse is hanging on for dear life. Stalker lets out a demonic scream and his hand have blood all over them. The whole cage is shaking and Fuse has lost his footing. The hand he placed at the top of the cage is the only thing keeping him from falling….

OH MY GOD!

DM: OH MY GOD!!!

MN: OH MY GOD!!!

DT: Ladies and gentlemen, Stalker just ripped the door of the cage right off its hinges!!! Two more tugs and the door is completely separated from the cage. Fuse has regained his footing and looks down, wondering why the cage isn’t shaking anymore.

Stalker: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

DT: Stalker has the cage door above his head and tosses it with force into the center of the ring. He’s breathing heavily and staring at his bloodied hands. His eyes are like saucers as he turns his head and looks at the opening- his opportunity for victory right in front of him.

MN: YES!!!! YES!!!! YESSSSS!!!!!!

DM: Damn you Neely, my ears are gonna be bleeding like Stalker’s hands and Fuse’s face if you don’t shut up!

DT: Fusenshoff takes two steps down the cage, trying desperately to get down before Stalker walks out the opening where the door used to be- a fleeting attempt. Stalker sees this and his face is that of a man possessed. Fuse looks ready to jump down, and Stalker times his next move perfectly. As Fuse is falling, Stalker dives at his feet and Fuse spirals out of control in mid-air. He lands hard on the shoulder he’s been nursing since Beast dislocated at an Aggression more than six months ago.

MN: This is the best night of my LIFE!

DM: Here comes the World Champion, “Triple X” Sean Stevens. He’s running down to the ring.

DT: Fuse is crawling on one arm toward the door. Stalker picks him up by his hair, but Fuse is still fighting it. Triple X watches from the opening of the door, but doesn’t step inside yet. He just watches his partner with a huge grin as Fuse struggles to break free.

MN: Looks like Stevens wants a front row seat.

DM: There isn’t much hope for Fusenshoff now. Not much you can do when your opponent maniacally rips the hinges off a steel door.

MN: You can say that again. AAAHHAHAHAHA!!!!

DT: Stalker is in a tug of war with Fuse, only instead of rope, it’s the Television Champion’s hair. Stalker uses Fuse’s momentum and just slams his face into the mat. The extra force knocks Fusenshoff out cold. He picks him up and drags him to the center of the ring.

DM: Oh man, this is gonna hurt.

DT: Stalker with the EVENFLOW onto the steel caged door! He picks up Fuse again… ANOTHER EVENFLOW! The crowd is a chorus of boos. Stevens is egging them on from the side of the cage. Stalker stands up and throws up his fist as the crowd rains jeers on the Fallen member. Someone throws popcorn at the cage and a few kernels land in the ring. Stalker picks up Fuse again… A THIRD EVENFLOW! Fuse’s body is completely limp.

DM: Somebody stop this! He’s gonna kill him.

MN: Yeah, probably. HAHAHA!!

DT: Stalker finally leaves the ring as “Did My Time” by Korn plays over the sound system.

TF: Your winner and STILL a member of The Fallen…. SSSTTAAAALLKKKKKEERRRRRR!!!!

DM: What a psycho!

MN: What a hero!

DM: Stalker had this thing won when he used his rage and insanity to rip apart a steel door! The rest was just as crazy!

MN: Nothing wrong with that. He sent a message to ALL of EPW what he’s capable of. Everyone backstage saw this… no one will want a piece of Stalker now. Plus he’s got the World Champion and the Television Champion watching his back. Don’t look now he’s getting back in the ring.

DT: Stalker is holding the Television Title and a Fallen t-shirt on his shoulder and has a microphone in his hand. The World Heavyweight Champion is standing right beside him. Fusenshoff is still a bloody mess in the middle of the ring.

Stalker: You fools have witnessed first-hand the full power of The Fallen tonight. The EPW World Heavyweight Champion… The EPW Television Champion… and the craziest, most unpredictable son of a b***h this federation has ever seen. Bring on all challengers, because we have a new pet, and a dangerous one at that. I’ll do whatever I want with him; sneak attacks, run-ins, and anything else I can come up with in my sick, twisted head! This is a call-out to everyone. No one is safe. Each and every one of you better watch your back!

DT: Stalker just threatened everyone willing to challenge The Fallen. Stevens just picked up Fusenshoff, who’s still completely out of it. They throw the Fallen shirt around his neck and strap the Television Title around his waist. Then they carry Fuse out of the ring and up the ramp, laughing as fans toss drinks, popcorn and snacks all over the place.

NEXT