[Fade in as the program returns from commercial. We go to the boys at commentary.]
DM: Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, as our Aggression broadcast continues. We just witnessed a unique superheavyweight contest, but the crux of our action gets started right now.
MN: That's right! Moving on from Clash of the Titans, we've got O Brother, Where Art Thou! It's like MATINEE NIGHT! HA!
[He pauses for a beat.]
MN: ...wait a sec, where the hell did Thomas go?
[Now that Mike mentions it, EPW's regular commentator does happen to be missing from his seat.]
DM: You didn't happen to look up and spot him there in the ring?
MN: In the ring, REALLY?!?
[In fact, EPW commentator and correspondant DAVE THOMAS really IS standing in the center ring with a mic in hand, ready to address the audience.]
MN: Holy crap, Dave has LEGS?!
DM: ...did you huff something while we were off the air?
[The camera focuses on Dave Thomas as he smiles directly into the camera while speaking into the mic.]
DT: Ladies and gentlemen... at this time, would you please welcome to the ring... the former EPW World Heavyweight Champion...
ROCKO DAYMON!!
[The crowd POPS EXPLOSIVELY as "Albatross" by CoC hits the PA. After a moment's wait, "THE UNDYING" ROCKO DAYMON emerges from the entrance, pausing briefly on the stage to allow the fans to savor the moment. The former EPW World Champ and self-proclaimed paragon of professional wrestling excellence looks remarkably emotionless as he casually makes his way to the ring.]
DM: What an ovation for the former champion!
MN: Can you believe the fans still CHEER this LOSER??
DM: Well... say what you will about Rocko Daymon, he put up a valiant effort to take back the World Title at Wrestleverse III, but ultimately fell short.
MN: You got THAT right... and now I assume he's out here to whine about his complete and utter failure.
DM: Daymon wasn't scheduled to compete tonight, but he did request in advance this opportunity to come to the ring and speak to the fans of EPW for the first time since his return. I'm sure he's had a lot on his mind...
MN: I've got something on MY mind right now, like... why do I got to stay back behind this stupid table when freakin' DAVE THOMAS gets to do interviews in the ring?! Do I gotta start up my OWN fast food franchise to get that kind of respect or something?
DM: Dave didn't start up a fast food... nevermind, Mike. Just shut up and listen.
[Rocko Daymon, wearing his street clothes, steps into the ring and joins Dave Thomas.]
DT: Rocko... first of all, thank you for taking the time to come out here on your night off to address the fans. And also... my condolences in regards to the outcome of your match at Wrestleverse III...
[Daymon's gaze, from behind a set of simple aviator sunglasses, pans over the sea of fans as Thomas holds the mic near his face.]
Daymon: ...don't mention it, Dave. While I'm disappointed to be standing next to you here tonight WITHOUT the EPW World Title over my shoulder, I've come to grips with my fate. I suppose it's what I deserve, cause when the time finally came to step up and BE this federation's champion... I was too blinded by my own personal issues to fulfill my duty to these fans. I was more hungry for VENGEANCE than for gold... and ultimately, that's what cost me.
[He shakes his head.]
Daymon: But none of that matters anymore. With or without the EPW World Heavyweight Title around my waist, I will always be a champion in my heart. I am STILL the Paragon of Professional Wrestling Excellence, and I will prove that I don't NEED gold to FIGHT like a champion!
DM: If not a champion on paper, then forever a champion in spirit.
MN: Sounds like the epitaph of a LOSER, if you ask me.
[He earns a supportive pop from his fans, but now Thomas reels in the mic to ask another question.]
DT: But now I have to ask... what lies in the future of "The Undying" Rocko Daymon? If GOLD is no longer your interest, then... what about the VENGEANCE you mentioned? What will you do about the man that had a hand in putting you on the shelf for over a year with an injury that many of us were SURE you'd never come back from? What, Rocko, will you do with the reigning World Heavyweight Champion, "TRIPLE X" SEAN STEVENS??
[The capacity crowd BOOS VEHEMENTLY at the sound of the name of the reigning champion. Daymon remains silent for a moment as he collects his thoughts, holding back the sneer that wants to form on his face, but delivers his answer with calm, calculated certainty.]
Daymon: What will I do about Sean Stevens, Dave?
[He draws in a deep breath and exhales.]
Daymon: ...nothing.
MN: HAH! Damn RIGHT nothing!
DT: "Nothing?" After the man harassed you every night... ceaselessly slandered you on the air... assaulted and allegedly RAPED your wife... and, to top it all off, KICKED YOU from a three story window, thus causing your injury... all you can say is that you'll do... NOTHING??
Daymon: That's right, Dave... NOTHING. I'm going to do the champ this one favor and leave him off the hook. Now... let me tell you why.
[Daymon gestures for the mic and Thomas hands it over. Rocko turns his attention the the camera on the ring while he continues.]
Daymon: After I was eliminated... I found myself at yet another crossroads in my life. I don't know what to say to defend my actions, Dave... but realization of my loss, coupled with the knowledge that yet again, Stevens would be slipping through my fingers... well, it pushed me over the edge. And as I proceeded to MAIM and MANGLE Sean Stevens from pillar to post... busting open his face... throwing him into every hard and unforgiven surface around that ring... tossing aside a DOZEN men trying me to hold me back...
[He shakes his head, trailing off for a beat.]
Daymon: ...I was slowly beginning to realize that I was slipping over to a darker side.
MN: Oh man, the voice of Emporer Palpatine must have been getting to him! DARTH ROCKO!!
DM: Would you pipe down?
Daymon: And then, as I stood over him with the steel ring steps held over my head... knowing right then that I had the power to just END HIS CAREER and be done with it all... I realized I was becoming the very thing I hate.
[He turns back to Dave.]
Daymon: So I walked away from it. I decided that "VENGEANCE" wasn't worth giving up a part of my humanity and integrity that HE willingly threw aside years ago for the sake of glory. When I had the opportunity to finish him off, I showed RESTRAINT... and I'm going to let that fact be the one thing that ultimately seperates Rocko Daymon from "Triple X" Sean Stevens.
MN: That, and a WORLD TITLE!!
[Rocko looks like he's resisting the urge to sneer as he forces the next set of words out of his mouth.]
Daymon: But I'm going to say this right now, because it needs to be SAID: Whether you love or HATE "Triple X" Sean Stevens... he proved that at Wrestleverse III, there is no better man to carry that World Title in this company right now other than HIMSELF. We all know it's a victory he WON'T take in stride... but just the same, he fought honorably, and won convincingly, like a champion SHOULD.
[Daymon's admission draws a mixed reaction from the crowd, but nevertheless, looks as though he's visibly abhorring giving his rival public praise.]
DM: Humble words from the former champion.
MN: BAHAHAHA, what a punk-ass!! The only thing that makes someone even more than a loser is ADMITTING they're a loser!
DM: Well it's not like he's going to DENY Stevens' remarkable show of athleticism and determination at the Pay Per View! He's simply giving credit where he feels it's due.
Daymon: So, Dave... he deservedly has the title, I'm going to allow him to roll with it by doing and saying ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to him from this point on... even in light of all the **** he put me through in the past year of my life. I can die satisfied knowing that just for ONE NIGHT... I was the better WRESTLER... and because I showed restraint, for the rest of our natural lives, I will ALWAYS be the better MAN!
[The crowd begins to POP... until a second voice suddenly breaks in over the PA.]
"Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah..."
DM: Oh no, not HIM...!
[The fans begin to BOO without restraint as the camera cuts to JASON "STALKER" REEVES ambling down the ramp with a mic in hand.]
Stalker: Blah, blah, blah... BLAH, BLAH, BLAH...
[Rocko hands the mic back to Dave Thomas as he prepares himself. Stalker rolls into the ring, as his voice shifts from monotone to comemning. He reaches his feet and walks up to Rocko, practically shouting.]
Stalker: BLAH, BLAH, BLAH... BLAH!!
[The final exclamation causes Rocko to briefly wipe saliva from his sunglasses.]
DM: What right does this clown think he has to come out here and interrupt this speech?
MN: Hey, he might be freakin' crazy, but Rocko was putting me to SLEEP in there! Thank Buddha SOMEBODY came out to break up this monotony!
[Stalker points an accusing finger directly at Rocko.]
Stalker: All I've heard since you've come BACK is "Triple X this" and "Sean Stevens that"... and here I'm sitting back there, listening to you sit here and try to save your pride, and this nagging question is eating away at the back of my brain...
[Gripping onto the mic with both hands, Stalker throws his head back and directs the following query to the heavens.]
Stalker: WHAT ABOUT ME, YOU MISERABLE PIECE OF ****?!
DM: Oh boy, here we go...
Stalker: You talk about stopping yourself from ending Trip's career, because you felt like you were turning into something that you didn't want to? Something... that.. you HATED?!
[Taking a few steps back from a poised Daymon, Jason grins from ear to ear.]
Stalker: Something... like.. me?
[A look of disgust crosses Daymon's face as he stares Jason down.]
Stalker: You will never move on, not from me! Remember something about that night where Trip stomped your hand forcing you to fall? IT WAS ME who sent you through that window in the first place.
MN: He's got a point there...
Stalker: I took away your World Title! What you fought so damn hard for and you don't even think to mention my name?
[Dave Thomas reaches the mic over to Daymon but Jason shakes his finger at him.]
Stalker: I'm not done talking. Rocko, you know what? I am glad that you came back. I am GLAD that you choose once AGAIN to ignore me. Because I have plans for you...
[A commotion is seen on the opposite side of the ring... as FUSENSHOFF hops the guard rail with the TV title in hand.]
DM: Wait a second... FUSENSHOFF IS HERE!! But Stalker's not done talking!
Stalker: I am going to finish what I started... FINISH what we started oh so long ago.
[Fusenshoff is in the ring now to an unsuspecting Daymon. Dave Thomas doesn't even realize he's entered the ring.]
DM: Fusenshoff in the ring, but Daymon DOESN'T SEE HIM!!
MN: Oh man, this is gonna be GOOD...
Stalker: Your life.. your career... your future DREAMS and HOPES. I am going to PERSONALLY DESTROY THEM ALL!
[Daymon unfazed by Stalker's yelling motions for the mic. Fusenshoff, looking at the ground unsure of what to do, looks up and Jason nods at him. Daymon goes to turn around and BAM! ...Fusenshoff nails Daymon square in the face with the Television Title, sending Daymon's glasses flying and him straight to the mat.]
DT: Jesus, FUSENSHOFF!!
[With the fans booing loudly and Jason smiling down at Daymon.]
Stalker: And I am going to do ALL OF THAT without even touching you!
["Did My Time" by Korn blasts over the PA as Jason slams the mic down and exits the ring as Dave Thomas checks on Daymon. Fusenshoff stands in silent horror at his own actions. A grinning Stalker mocks his emotions by actually APPLAUDING his work as he approaches him... but the Television Champion suddenly SHOVES HIM in rage before quickly leaving the ring and going up the ramp. Stalker is left in the ring with a sadistic grin, savoring a final look at the hurt Rocko Daymon before leaving the ring and going up the ramp himself.]
DM: The TV Champion looked just absolutely DISGUSTED with what he just did... and I have reason to believe that Stalker's the one forcing his hand against his will!
MN: Maybe he was just trying to save the locker room from being BORED TO DEATH!
DM: You know that isn't true, Mike... but nevermind that now, here comes Dave!
MN: Oh hey, DAVE! Welcome back! Man, I envy you so much right now... you just had a front row seat of watching Rocko Daymon get knocked freakin' COLD!
[As ring officials lead a hurt Daymon from the ring, Thomas takes his seat, looking very disturbed as he puts the headset back on.]
DT: There was nothing to enjoy about what just happened in that ring, Mike. I only hope that down the line, that sick bastard Stalker gets what's coming to him, PERSONALLY from Rocko Daymon, and Fusenshoff finally manages to cut loose and compete as a free man!
MN: Yeah, well, we can't ALL live in a perfect world, can we?
DM: I'd rather strive for a perfect world than living in STALKER'S world!
DT: I have a feeling there is more to this story that will unfold over the coming weeks... but for right now, we've got tag team action on the way.
Contradiction vs. Men of Constant Sorrow
[FADEIN: The rampway as The Men Of Constant Sorrow are making their way to the ring, heads down, not reacting to the crowd as "Man of Constant Sorrow" by the Stanley Brothers plays over the PA.]
DT: The Men of Constant Sorrow making their way out here, they don't exactly seem very...I don't know...Active...
MN: Well they are full of sorrow, what do you expect?
DT: WAIT A SECOND! CONTRADICTION JUST CHARGED OUT AND ARE ALL OVER THE MEN OF CONSTANT SORROW! Drunken Tiger beating the daylights out of Arthur and The Sarge is hammering away on Burnett. Contradiction getting this match into the ring...The ref now keeping them away from Burnett and Arthur, after a few seconds of letting them recover he's calling for the bell [Bell rings!] and we're underway!
DM: This match might have just started but clearly Contradiction have been chomping at the bit to get ahold of their opponents tonight.
DT: The Sarge putting the boots to Arthur and now sends him to the ropes...HIGH ELEVATION BACK BODY DROP! Arthur crashing to the mat and now Sarge makes the tag to Drunken Tiger.
DM: But in making that tag, Sarge left Arthur by himself and Arthur was able to make a tag himself to Burnett!
DT: Contradiction just getting started in tag wrestling and I'm sure that's something they'll see on the film and work to correct. Burnett and Drunken Tiger now circle and the Tiger now grabs Burnett and throws him into the corner...Tiger with a couple right hands rocks Burnett and now he whips him into the corner...Tiger charges...NOBODY HOME! Burnett now firing away with kick after kick to the mid-section of Drunken Tiger...Burnett tags in Arthur and the two men send Drunken Tiger to the ropes...FLAPJACK BY THE MEN OF CONSTANT SORROW! A cover!
ONE!!
TWO!!
NO!!
DT: Arthur continues the attack on Drunken Tiger with a series of knees to the head...Arthur now pulls Drunken to his feet AND SLAMS THE BIG MAN! A quick cover!
ONE!!
TWO!!
NO!!
DT: Arthur now getting Drunken Tiger to his feet as Arthur now sends him into the ropes...Sarge with a blind tag on Drunken Tiger as he hits the ropes...Drunken Tiger off the ropes...Arthur with a clothesline...Drunken Tiger ducks it...DRUNKEN TIGER OFF THE ROPES WITH A CLOTHESLINE AS SARGE DIVES AT THE BACK OF ARTHUR'S LEGS!! ARTHUR DOES A THREE SIXTY IN MID AIR!!
MN: Man they just about beheaded him!!
DT: Drunken Tiger chargs at Burnett as Sarge makes the cover!!!
ONE!!
TWO!!
THREE!!
[Bell rings!]
BF: Here are your winners...CON!!!! TRA!!!! DICTION!!!!
DT: What a devastating move out of nowhere and just like that Contradiction move up another rung in the tag team division!
DM: You have to think these guys could be in line for a crack at the tag titles currently held by Larry Tact and Jared Wells of Anthology!
DT: We'll be right back after a quick break!
(CUTTO: Backstage)
DT: Fans, I'm getting word that there's been an altercation of some sort, backstage! We've got a camera back there now, so let's take a look....
(The camera is heading down a hallway, and at the end we can see someone lying facedown on the floor.)
DT: It looks like they aren't moving...
MN: Forget attacked, they've been knocked the hell out!
DM: Who is it, though?
(A couple Event Staff members have arrived on the scene, and they roll over the person onto their back to reveal...)
DM: Whoa!
DT: MARCUS WESTCOTT!
MN: Had it coming to him, if you ask me.
DT: I'm not sure what to say, folks. Marcus clearly has had some issues of late, with Craig Miles and Anarky. But did it really have to come to this?
DM: I think whoever did this better make sure they aren't discovered. Somehow I think Marcus won't take it lying down.
MN: No way, this is great! Now we won't have to listen to his big Canadian mouth for the rest of the night!
DM: I'll be sure to let him know that later.
MN: Hey, wait, I mean.... don't you dare!
DT: Folks, we'll be back after a short break, and maybe get a few answers about this shocking attack.
CUT TO....
[FADEIN: First, standing in front of a mirror, his face painted white, one side of his face is already painted up in a Kefka style make up, but black instead of red. The background is the tea party, with the little girl drinking tea, and the two plush horses on either side. Layne Winters appears in the reflection of the mirror standing behind the tea party]
CHILD: AHHHH!!!!!
[The little girl RUNS as Layne comes over and angrily punts the tea party table into mid-air! Tea cups and pots are broken and scattered across the floor. He takes a stuffed animal into his hands- RIPS IT INTO PIECES! Picks the table up, smashes it down, breaks off a leg, and uses it to bash the few unbroken cups. Meanwhile, First remains stoic in front of the mirror, only casually turning to survey the madness behind him]
LAYNE: WHAT THE F[BLEEP!] IS WRONG WITH YOU?! YOU’RE A G0DDAMN GROWN ASS MAN! [Kicks a plush horse against the wall violently] I’m in my locker room warming up, sweating, preparing myself for battle in the ring, and YOU?! [Kicks a pot!] YOU’RE OVER HERE HAVING TEA WITH KIDS AND STUFFED F[BLEEP!]KING ANIMALS!
[Layne picks up Princess Sparkle Pony, and that’s when First DIVES after her, holding on for dear life as Layne tries ripping the pony away from him. The two men struggle for a bit, First dropping to his knees and crossing his arms over Layne’s to try and secure his favorite stuffed animal. Finally, Layne lets go and First flies backwards to the ground, sitting Indian-style with Princess Sparkle Pony in his hands, his hair covering his face.]
LAYNE: Oh, GROW THE F[BLEEP!] UP! How on earth did a sad sack of excrement like you get to the main event? And I wondered how guys like Cruise and Tact walk around here with titles- NOW I KNOW! You won’t even stand up for yourself after I’ve trashed your little imaginary rendezvous here, how the HELL do you expect to take a title off Stevens, or Cruise, or ANYONE? You’re like that talented regular season team that can’t do JACK SH[BLEEP!] in the playoffs ‘cause they don’t got the fortitude…don’t got the BALLS! Sound familiar? Look at you…pathetic…you’re something out of Gothic Tiger Beat, you sorry son of a b[bleep!]. LOOK UP AT ME WHEN I’M TALKING, YOU FREAK! [First shoots a quick look at Layne, but slowly draws away his eyes] Go on, HIT ME! Do something about it! Or can you not muster the NERVE?
FIRST: [glances back up at Layne] ...You are but one of the unending moving parts that currently spiral around me that will decide if Sean Stevens and I are to win tonight. I am left to hope...[Winces at using that word]...You will not only win, but also maim Larry Tact such that he can not assist Anthology in the main event...So no, I will not strike you...I can not fight you....Instead I will merely wish you good luck.
LAYNE: LUCK?! Hell, I’m maiming Tact if I gotta do it in a wheelchair or on crutches. His fate was decided when he signed on the dotted f[bleep!]ing line! I don’t need “luck,” but maybe you do. You wanna be the champ? You wanna take Stevens’ spot? You want Cruise’s belt? Then MAN-THE F[BLEEP!]-UP!
[Layne spits on Princess Sparkle Pony, leaving the room as First watches him walking away.]
NEXT