DT: Ladies and gentlemen - welcome to AGGRESSION! I’m Dave Thomas!! With me as always are Dean Matthews and the one and only…. Mike Neely.
MN: Hey-o!
DT: We have a huge night in store! Layne Winters gets a crack at Fusenshoff for the TV Title! Stalker takes on his long time nemesis Rocko Daymon and we have a huge six man main event as The Anthology takes on the team of World Champion Sean Stevens, Ice Tre and the next challenger to Stevens' World Title, Marcus Westcott.
DM: Not to mention Anarky taking on Larry Tact in a huge steel cage match, The First takes on Shawn Hart, and Frankie Scott says goodbye with a match against his long time rival, The Sergeant.
DT: Let's go up to the ring, to Tony Fatora and our first match!
[CUT TO: the ring - SARGE and DRUNKEN TIGER are already in the ring warming up, awaiting their opponents]
TF: The following tag team contest is scheduled for ONE FALL! Introducing first, hailing from PARTS UNKOWN and standing at a combined weight of a number so intimidating, the scale is afraid to list it…they are the team of SERGEANT and DRUNKEN TIGER….THEY…ARE…CONTRAAAAAAADIIIIIIIIIICTIIIOOOOON NNN!!!!
MN: Y’know it’s weird, I just don’t know how I feel about these guys.
DM: Well what are you waiting for, a written invitation?
MN: Something like that…
[Green and yellow lights flash through the crowd as the intro to “Back to the Primitive” by Soulfly begins to play. The audience stirs in excitement while the guitar riff plays, and then BOOOOM! The tribal drums begin to beat, the violent guitar chords are strum with bad intentions, and RICARDO “LIGHTNING” SILVA hops out, bouncing up and down, talking smack to an invisible enemy as the fans grasp for his hands. Behind him is his cousin GABRIEL CARVALHO and MAURICIO DOS SANTOS limping to the ring on a crutch, due to an ankle injury]
TF: ANNNND FROM CURITIBA, BRAAAAAZZZEEEEEEEEELLLL!!!!!! RICARDO SILVA…MAURICIO DOS SANTOS…AND GAAAAAABE CARVALHOOO!!!! SAY HELLO TO THAAAAA JUUUUUNNNGGGLLLEEE STOOOOOOOORM!!!!!
DT: And it looks like Dos Santos is sitting on the sidelines tonight after injuring himself on Powermaster’s trap door at Wrestleverse.
MN: Good riddance. Now the crowd gets to see the REAL reason why these guys are on fire…RICARDO SILVA!
DT: The bell rings and we’re off to the races…Carvalho starting against the big three hundred plus pounder Drunken Tiger. They lock up and Carvalho immediately transitions to the headlock. Tiger tries to pick him up but Carvalho spreads his feet to strengthen his base. Doesn’t matter- Tiger throws him off into the ropes, misses with the clothesline and NIIICE shoulder block executed the second time around by Tiger! Carvalho backs off and regroups.
DM: Drunken Tiger may look soft, but it takes a lot of strength to put down the Brazilian Brainbuster, who is no small man himself!
DT: Silva asks for the tag but it’s a no-go. Carvalho fakes for the lock up and hits Tiger with a nice forearm to the face! Working him in the corner now with kicks…
MN: This Mickey Mouse crap ain’t gonna get the job done. The sooner Carvalho tags in his cousin, the better.
DT: Carvalho tries for a ROLLING KNEE BAR but he can’t get the big man down- OH MY! Tiger just dropped a knee on Carvalho’s face, and now he’s hurt! The Brazilian looks for the tag, but he’s dragged to the opposite corner by Tiger who tags in Sarge.
MN: My wife got a Brazilian once. Lemme tell you…HIGHLY overrated. Trust me folks, sometimes the grass is on the field for a reason.
DT: That’s enough Neely, there’s kids watching!
MN: What? You think they don’t hear about this in health class? I’m just saying…the thing looked like a damn cow tongue with eyes…winked at me and everything.
DT: When are they going to fire you and bring in somebody with talent?
MN: The day they fire YOU and hire Colonel Sanders.
DT: Enough with the Dave Thomas jokes! Back to the action, and Carvalho just can’t find any momentum after the Contradiction double-team, and that running Liger bomb from Sarge doesn’t help either! For the…
ONE…
TWWWOO…
KICKOUT! Carvalho’s still in it!
DM: Lightning Silva’s just BEGGING for that tag! He may not be an intimidating physical specimen, but the kid’s a game breaker. If he gets tagged, this is a new match!
DT: If that’s going to happen, Carvalho’s gotta mount some offense here and find the opening! But Sarge is making life for the Curitiba native very difficult…DROPS HIM WITH AN INVERTED NECKBREAKER! For the cover? No…Sarge has him up for a suplex!
MN: This Carvalho idiot is the weight holding down Silva’s Jungle Storm!
DM: SILVA’S Jungle Storm? Carvalho’s the one that brought ‘em to the states, and he’s the one that kept them in that big tag scramble at Wrestleverse!
MN: Yeah, you heard me Junior!
DT: Contradiction right now are looking like the next EPW Tag Champions with this onslaught of offense! Sarge whips a tired Gabe Carvalho off the ropes, goes for the spinning back elbow…MISSES!...Carvalho!...DOUBLE UNDERHOOK DDT!
DM: Here we go!
[SFX: CROWD POPS!]
DT: The crowd is willing Carvalho back to life! He’s up now…will he tag Silva? Wait a minute…he does NOT…he’s going for a submission!
MN: Tag him, you crazy man, TAG HIM!
DT: Carvalho has Sarge in a figure four, and the submissions expert has him locked in tight! Silva beyond fuming now; he’s fuming to get into this match! Drunken Tiger is attempting to climb the turnbuckles and…wait a minute? Drunken Tiger is attempting to climb the TURNBUCKLES? What is he DOING?!
MN: You want reward? You’ve gotta take risks, Davey boy!
DM: Can he even get up there?
DT: Yes, he’s on top! The referee is over at the corner now counting down until he disqualifies Contradiction, but Tiger won’t get down! HOLD ON…Silva’s out of his corner now! Tiger leaps off with the axe handle!!!...NO!...SILVA WAS JUST IN TIME! TIGER IS OUT COLD AFTER TAKING THE LIGHTNING SHOT RIGHT ON THE CHIN!
MN: He’s carrying this operation on his back, baby!
DT: Referee’s now pushing Silva back to his corner. Dos Santos is screaming…and now he’s rolling into the ring with that crutch! Carvalho’s telling him to back off but it’s no use! NO!
[SFX: THWACK!]
DT: DOS SANTOS IS JUST…OH!...HE JUST BROKE THAT CRUTCH OVER SARGE’S HEAD! He’s out of the ring before the referee can turn his back…
MN: Now that’s what I call team work!
DT: The crowd is just livid, and Carvalho’s none too pleased himself! He thought he had control of the match, and clearly disapproves of Dos Santos’ methods!
DM: That seems to be the story of Jungle Storm- NEVER on the same page!
DT: Carvalho releases the figure four and tags in Silva, finally! Sarge is dead in the middle of the ring, Drunken Tiger is out of commission, and this Contradiction team is helpless!
MN: Uh oh, GAME OVER!
DT: Silva’s gone up top…Carvalho readies Sarge for the powerbomb…HERE IT IS…DEATHWISH!!!! Silva fresh off the shooting star press makes the cover…
ONE…
TWO…
THREE!!!!!
[SFX: Bell rings]
TF: HERE ARE YOUR WINNERS…JUNNNNGLLLLLEEEEE SSSSSSTOOOOOORRRRRMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DM: Well, one way or the other, they found a way to get the job done, but the leader of this team, Carvalho, just stormed out of the ring, clearly frustrated by Dos Santos’ methods.
DT: And for once it seems Dos Santos and Silva are on the same page!
MN: The crowd may not like it, Carvalho might not either, but Jungle Storm is proving they know how to win by ANY means necessary! If they get Silva in action more, they could be wearing gold real soon!
DT: We’ve gotta take a timeout, folks. More when we return!