[MUSIC UP: "It's Raining Men" by Geri Halliwell. Shawn Hart and Felicia come out through the curtain. Both wearing black pleather pants. Felicia has a tight white T-Shirt that reads "I'm with Stupid" and an arrow pointing to Hart. Hart has a sleeveless white T-Shirt reading "I'm with Boobage" and an arrow pointing to Felicia. The crowd gives a loud mixed reaction with a bit more boos then cheers.]
TF: The following contest is set for one fall...Introducing first, being led to the ring by Felicia...He weighs in at 226 pounds...Hailing from ORLANDO, FLORIDA....REPRESENTING ANTHOLOGY..."THE PHENOM....SHAWN!...HART!!
[Hart hops on the apron as Felicia claps for him]
DT: Shawn Hart out here tonight looking to atone for the mistake he made last time on Aggression, it was his interference that backfired, costing Anthology the main event!
MN: Even the best of us make mistakes, and Shawn Hart is going to make everything right tonight by beating the crap out of this little freak and setting the record straight that Anthology's running things here in EPW.
DM: We'll see about that, because here comes The First!
[MUSIC UP: "Happy Birthday" by The Birthday Massacre, EPW Edit. The First walks through the curtain wearing his new black EPW T-Shirt reading "Painted Up Freak" cut into a wife beater, black G.I. pants, and black ring boots. His face is painted white with a black X through his eyes and cheekbones and a vertical black stripe running down the middle of his face. His hair is raven black with dark purple at the ends. The First's right arm is taped half way to the elbow with the word "ANTHOLOGY" written on the tape with a big line driven through the word. The First paces around the stage, screaming at the fans and throwing his arms in the air. The fans pop LOUD in reaction to The First's entrance.]
DT:: Say what you want about him Neely, but The First may just be the most popular man in EPW Today.
MN: Bah, these people have no taste at all! The public is a bunch of morons.
TF: And his opponent...He weighs in today at 208 pounds...He hails from SALEM, MASSACHUSETTS...Here is...THEEEE!!!! FIIIIIIIRRRRRRSSSSSSTTTTTTTT!!!!!
[ The First makes his way to the ring, high fiving those who reach out to him, he hits the apron and hops over the top rope, landing on the second rope inside the ring. The First throws his arms up and gets another pop from the crowd.]
DM: This should be one heck of a match, one man seeking to redeem himself for a mistake, the other taking on what is the seemingly impossible task of trying to destroy Anthology, who have just cut a path of destruction across EPW ever since they were formed.
MN: This gothtard isn't destroying Anthology for one simple reason, Anthology can't be destroyed, Period!
[Bell rings, The First and Shawn Hart circle each other]
DT: The two men lock up and Hart starts to muscle The First towards the corner...First with an armdrag! Hart gets back up to his feet and they lock up again...Hart now with a side headlock...First now backs Hart into the ropes...Hart sent to the other side, First with a leapfrog and now Hart comes back...HIPTOSS BY THE FIRST...NO HART COUNTERS WITH ONE OF HIS OWN...NO...FIRST MOVES BEHIND HART AND A BACKSLIDE! HART'S PINNED!
ONE!
TWO!
NO!
DT: Hart out right at the count of two and he just CRACKS The First with a right hand...First staggers back and eats another big right...Hart pushes The First into the corner and now hammers him with a series of shoulderblocks into the stomach...
MN: There you go Hart, I know you like wrestling and all, but that's not what's needed here, you gotta fight this freak, stomp his guts out!
DT: If you want to help so become a manager and you can corner for Anthology and Stevens...Meanwhile Hart now with a scoop and a SLAM of The First...Hart DRIVES a knee into the skull of The First who's trying to get to his feet...He's back up and a PERFECT DROPKICK from the Phenom sends him back down again...Hart with a cover and he hooks the leg!
ONE!
TWO!
NO!
DT: The First out at two and a half [Crowd pops!] Hart now gets First back up and hooks him...BACKBREAKER! Hart is on his game tonight...And now SJH is making his way to the outside...Hart to the top...AND A BIG SPLASH ON THE FIRST!!! THAT COULD DO IT!
ONE!!
TWO!!
NO!!
DT: FIRST KICKS OUT! [Crowd pops!] Hart giving the ref a look of disgust and horror as he's told it was just a two count.
DM: The First has taken some incredible beatings here in EPW, but he's been proven to be tough to keep down!
MN: Bah, quit doing his PR work, Hart has this in the bag!
DT: Hart now stalking The First...He's waiting on him to get up...I think it's time for the Hart On...The First is up...HART SPRINGS AT HIM...HART ON! NO!! FIRST HELD THE TOP ROPE! HART HITS THE MAT HARD! [crowd buzzing!]
MN: DAMMIT!
DT: Hart gets back to his feet...SPINNING HEEL KICK BY THE FIRST! Hart back up again and The First now laying in big right hands with that taped up fist of his...Hart whipped to the ropes...First off the opposite ropes...SPEAR BY THE FIRST!! HE COVERS!
ONE!
TWO!
NO!
DT: Hart out at two...The First wasting no time and now hammering Hart with right hands...Hart staggering...He drops to one knee...FIRST OFF THE ROPES WITH THE SHINING WIZARD!
DM: That's normally the beginning of the end!
DT: The First quickly to the outside, he's up top and setting himself for the Cut The Thread...Wait...Felicia is on the apron! She's trying to grab at The First's legs!
MN: Hey, sometimes you have to stand up and act, you can't let a crime be committed...And that would be what having this freak win this match would be!
DT: The First now kicks Felicia away...CUT THE THREAD!!! NO!!! HART MOVED!!! BOTH MEN DOWN!!
MN: Yes! Finally some justice!
DT: It's amazing how justice in your mind is people interfering in The First's matches.
DM: Both men are hurt here, this really is anyone's match!
DT: You got that right, the ref giving both men a ten count, we're up to 6 already...Hart pulling himself up by the ropes...Hart now pointing at Felicia...She's looking at the Phenom and he nods...Felicia jumps on the apron and now she's trying to get into the ring! What the hell is this? The ref now holding her back, trying to get her to stay out of the match!
MN: It's like what I said before, sometimes you have to stand up for what's right, or in this case, provide a distraction so Anthology can put this punk to sleep!
DT: You might be right about that...Hart now looking down the rampway as The First is slowly getting to his feet...Hart CLOTHESLINES The First down and now again he's looking at the rampway...Hart looks exasperated as he's not seeing the cavalry coming to save the day...The First meanwhile is pulling himself up by the ropes and he's holding his throat from the effects of that clothesline.
MN: Yeah that shot must have really rocked the little fre--...OH DAMMIT NO! FELICIA TURN THE REF AROUND!
DT: Hart now turns around as The First is back to his feet and holding his throat...FIRST BLASTS HART IN THE FACE WITH BLUE MIST! [Crowd pops!]
DM: I don't have my poison mist Wikipedia handy, but I'm sure that's not good for Hart!
DT: Hart blinded and staggering...FIRST WITH A SOULBREAKER!! [Crowd pops big!] First yells to the ref, who turns and sees the pin!
MN: NO DAMMIT! NOT THIS WAY!
ONE!!
TWO!!
THREE!!!
[Bell rings. Crowd pops! MUSIC UP: "Happy Birthday" by The Birthday Massacre, EPW Edit]
TF: Here is your winner...THEEEEEE FIRRRRRRSSTTTTTTT!!!!!
[The First climbs out of the ring and begins high fiving fans as he makes his way to the back...He turns around to let out one more yell before heading back up the ramp.]
DT: A big win here for The First as he's defeated another member of Anthology here, it almost seems like the tide is turning in this war between him and this faction.
NM: In your dreams buddy, he may win a battle or two, but he's losing the war.
DT: Shawn Hart getting to his feet in the ring he looks stunned and upset...I think he's asking for a mic.
[Hart yells for a mic and finally gets one.]
HART: "I've had it........... I'VE HAD IT!!! I'm sick and tired and SICK of giving EVERYTHING I have to ensure that the NUTBAG BROTHERS get theirs, while the man the fans reeeeeeeally want to see, the jiggiest JACKHOLE this side of Jersey, Shawn Jessica Hart, gets STUCK with scraps!"
[The fans respond to SJH. Some with cheers, some with jeers, but most seemingly in agreement with this statement on some level.]
"Before I made my GRAND RETURN to this God-forsaken place, Anthology was NOTHING but a couple of weasels trying to wiggle their way into the main event. I'm the one who legitimized this whole operation, the guy that brought the whole thing together... HELL, I'm the person who coined the Anthology term! And where has it all gotten me?! HMMM?!?! What have I got to show for it?!"
[He looks inquisitively to the crowd, then turns his attention back to the hard camera.]
"NOT A GODD[FCC]AMN THING!! It's the same old story, week in and week out... Cruise and Wells get theirs while the Phenom's duckets somehow keep finding their way into the hands of the latest has-been to join the fold!"
[SJH SPITS in anger.]
"But ya know what? I'm BETTER than that! Chrissakes, I'm the LoC Champion... and the HEAVYWEIGHT CHAAAAAAMPIOOOOOON of the UNIVERSE!! I'm bigger aaaaaaaaaaaand better than you jokers could ever DREAM of being. And so it is, right here.... RIGHT NOW, with all the Hart-broken Phenom Fiends and GOD HIMSELF as my witnesses, that I declare... ONCE AND FOR ALL... that I, SJH, the Prime Minister of Gettin' Sinister in the FLESH.... AM FINISHED!!!"
[The crowd cheers.]
"Finished taking my marching orders from a coupl'a wancy-pants posy boys. FINISHED playing second-fiddle to all the INFERIOR talent around here. And FUH-FUH-FINISHED letting other people keep me from getting that which is practically OWED to me.... a shot at EPW gold! Call it an outrage, call it a mockery, my Magic 8-balls calls it the TRUTH!
And the truth of the matter here, Cameron Cruise, Jared Wells... Mr. Tact, Mr. Edmunds, Copycat... is that as relates to aaaaaaaaaaall things Anthology..............
I QUIT!!!
The PHENOM has left the building!!!"
[MUSIC UP: "It's Raining Men" by Geri Halliwell as Hart throws his arms up in the air and gets another pop from the crowd. Hart drops the mic and heads to the back/]
DT: I...I can't believe this! Shawn Hart has just quit Anthology!
MN: That fool! He's throwing away the only good thing he had going for him!
DM: You spent this whole match telling us how great he was Neely.
MN: But...But that was when he was a member of Anthology...This new Shawn Hart who just tossed that all away...He's an idiot!
DT: What shocking news, the first major defection from the Anthology camp is the The Phenom Shawn Hart, is this a bad omen for Anthology's matches later tonight?! We'll find out fans! Stay tuned!