[“Imperial March” reverberates throughout the arena and a video package flies by on the screen.
Lindsay Troy unmasking as Dis, holding the EPW World Title up for all to see.
JA hitting the Karelin Driver on Rocko Daymon.
Cameron Cruise hitting Fusenshoff with the Shipwreck.
Felix Red and First, perched on opposite turnbuckles, then diving down onto their opponents.
Fusenshoff, clotheslining Stalker over the top rope.
Larry Tact and Jared Wells stalking to the ring with the EPW World Tag Team Titles around their waists.
“Triple X” Sean Stevens standing victorious on top of a cage, face bloodied, holding the EPW World title up high.
And finally…. A dais with a throne upon it and Lindsay Troy sitting front and center, leaning back and staring right into the camera.
Then…
BOOM!!
The stage is illuminated by a veritable bonanza of booming pyrotechnics as the camera pans over the crowd, cuts to the ring from a wide angle, then concludes its journey with a smash cut to the broadcast team.]
DT: Ladies and gentlemen - welcome to AGGRESSION! I’m Dave Thomas!! With me as always are Dean Matthews and the one and only…. Mike Neely.
DM: What a night!
DT: Indeed we have a huge show in store. The Television title is on the line as the First takes on Layne Winters!
DM: The increasingly unstable Anarky takes on Sean Edmunds…
DT: Fusenhoff fights for his freedom tonight. Stalker has promised to let Fusenhoff out of his enslavement if he can beat former EPW World Champion Rocko Daymon in a Stalker's Rules match tonight!
MN: This one is tough for me, I mean, Fusenhoff remaining enslaved is awesome, but on the other hand, Rocko Daymon being beaten half dead would be great to...I guess I'm just rooting for carnage here!
DM: Plus Shawn Hart may pay for leaving Anthology as he's fighting Larry Tact...Copycat and Cruise take on Contradiction!
DT: And in our main event, the number one contender to the World Heavyweight Title Marcus Westcott takes on Anthology member…Jared Wells…
[CUEUP: A Looking In View by Alice In Chains]
DT: And speaking of Mr. Wells…
[PYRO goes off all over the arena as Jared Wells walks out to the front entrance and stops. He is wearing a black & white Armani suit, hair spiked and styled with one half of the EPW Tag Title over his shoulder. Crowd is very Pro-Jared Wells as he seems to acknowledge the crowd. He makes his way down to the ring, grabs the mic and stands in the middle of the ring to a huge ovation]
[Chants of "JARED" break out as he is almost beside himself]
JARED WELLS: You know, just about fifteen minutes ago I was in the locker room getting ready to come out here do my thing. I got myself psyched, stretched out, got myself mentally prepared to come out here and talk to you people. But the burning sensation came from the waist below and I had to take a PEE-DIDDY. Heading to the urinal I felt like something was missing in my head and I wasn't sure. I was almost a lost of thought walking to the bath room. BUT THEN IT HIT ME!! It wasn't the fact that I took a two minute pee and it smelled of ammonia. It wasn't the fact that I thought fighting urine that smelled like ammonia would be cured by drinking lots of water. IT IS..........
JJJJJJJJJAAAAAAAARRREEDDDDD WELLS APPRECIATION NIGHT!!!!!
[Crowd pops and chants of "JARED" break out again]
Let's clarify reality to the guys in the back that call Anthology a bunch of LOSERS or a JOKE.
SEAN EDMUNDS! I have been friends with Sean Edmunds for twelve years plus. Sean Edmunds has been world champion plenty of times and its safe to say he is the most ENTERTAINING WRESTLER ALIVE TODAY BAR NONE! He's spent more money bailing me out of jail than most of you in the back have made your entire career. He is one of the GREATEST wrestlers alive today.
COPYCAT! Not only did I hate this guy but he was my greatest and toughest opponent EVER in my career. Who would have ever thought that Jared Wells and Copycat would be on the same page after all these years. None of you saw it but I did and so did Copycat. Call it respect, call it a comeback, but him and I saw that the EPW needed to learn a lesson about the road we paved. Oh we have your attention now don't we EPW? Copycat is by far one of the GREATEST wrestlers alive today.
LARRY TACT! Same with Copycat I hated this man much of my career and I will admit he was one of my greatest opponents ever as well. Larry Tact proved to the world he was world champion by paying his dues. When I called on Larry Tact it wasn't an ego problem, it was respect and he knew what the intentions were when Anthology was formed. We currently carry the EPW World Tag Team Titles and there is a reason why. Larry Tact is one of the GREATEST wrestlers alive today.
CAMERON CRUISE! You know, I look at the current EPW Intercontinental Champion a bit differently than the gentlemen I talked about before. Cameron Cruise didn't grow up in the business at the same time with the likes of Edmunds, Tact, Copycat, Wells. Cameron Cruise called me one day when I was sitting home collecting a pay check bored to hell with my mexican friend doing drugs and he said "WHAT HAPPENED TO JARED WELLS? What happened to the man?" Long story short, Cameron Cruise got me off my ass and we built a dynasty like NON OTHER! Cameron Cruise paid his dues to be where he is at. There is a reason why Cameron Cruise is the current EPW Intercontinental Champion and there is a reason why he is one of the greatest wrestlers alive today!
[Crowd pops. Jared then takes his jacket off and loosens his tie and jumps around]
NNNNNNOOOOOWWWW ONTO DADDY!!!! We are LLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIVVVVEEEEEEEE in CHICAGO TONIGHT!
[Crowd pops again as Jared Wells calms down and acknowledges the crowd]
MARKY WESCOTT!!! In Chicago, fifteen years ago I met a blonde one night, I walked out the bar door with her and she changed my life forever. The only difference is I got up the next day and walked out on her and had to start paying the price. However, the price was big because here we are fifteen years later she's still waiting for DADDY to come home right now!!! Believe me, back then I wondered if she kept the baby or not. Sad part is I don't even remember her name but its almost a warm feeling knowing I have a little bastard son somewhere that I don't know. DADDY IS PROUD!
Tonight Marky I will prove to you that my lifestyle is better than yours. I will prove to you that my feet are bigger than yours. I will prove that I'm more entertaining than you. And I will prove to the number one contender in the EPW that I'm a better wrestler.
The Beast yesterday. Marcus Westcott today. Dick Mittens tomorrow. Jessica, Marky Westcott smile B[BLEEP]CHES its Jared Wells Appreciation Night! You both will appreciate the DANGLE TONIGHT IN CHICAGO!!
[Jared Wells drops the mic, and heads back]