TF: The following is a tag team contest scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…

[CUE UP: “All Secrets Known” by Alice in Chains. Michael Bastard steps from behind the curtain, his face in a scowl. He stalks to the ring as his manager, The Amazing Logan, taunts the crowd]

TF: Weighing two hundred and twenty eight pounds, he hails from Flint, Michigan, and is accompanied to the ring by his manager, The Amazing Logan…

MICHAEL… BASTARD!!

MN: What a sick, vicious guy!

DM: You like him, don’t you?

MN: After what we saw back in February? Hell yeah!

DT: Michael Bastard had an amazing day on February 10, beating John Doe and Kenneth Williams before putting on a hell of a display against former EPW Intercontinental Champ and SWIFT MMA specialist Jonathan Marx on Sin City Showdown. But tonight he’s got his hands full teaming with someone he’s never teamed with against tag team experts.

[CUE UP: “Wherever I May Roam” by Metallica. The crowd pops as the lyrics kick in and Fusenshoff steps from behind the curtain. He makes his way down to the ring without even looking out at the capacity crowd. His focus and concentration remains unwavering as he slides into the ring, heading to his corner and talking briefly with his partner before resting his head against the top turnbuckle pad]

TF: And his partner, weighing two hundred and sixty three pounds and hailing from British Columbia, Canada…

FUSENSHOFF!!

DT: Someone else who had a stunning night, beating The Dragon cleanly in a match of the year contender before competing in the War Games match at the joint event.

MN: But didn’t he get beat by Cameron Cruise?

DT: Yes.

MN: Shows how good he isn’t. 

TF: And their opponents, led to the ring by Alexandra Malone…

[CUE UP: “The Sh*t” by Danger Mouse and Jemini. As soon as the popular quote hits over the speakers, a barrage of trumpets blasts throughout the arena speakers. A quick series of red, blue, and gold lights flash throughout the arena in tune with the music as “The Sh*t” by Danger Mouse and Jemini blasts loudly. 

With Alexandria Malone leading the way down to ringside, the trio of rich, asshole punks start to make their way down to the ring, a single spotlight shining down on them the entire way. Ryan Gallway talks trash to the fans near ringside, babbling incoherently. Frank Pierce looks rather dismissive of the crowd, trying to avoid them touching him at all costs. Mack Brody brings up the rear for the group, checking himself out in a compact mirror the entire time, making sure that each and every strand of his golden mane is perfect. 

Gallway and Pierce lift Alexandria up first into the ring. Both men leap over the ropes and pose on either side of the turnbuckle. Brody climbs over the ropes and flexes his muscles for the crowd while Alexandria Malone raises her hands out, showing off her charges to the world]

TF: Frank Pierce, Ryan Gallway and “Midas” Mack Brody…

THE HEIRS… OF… WRESTLING!!

DT: All three are taking part?!

MN: Why not, Dave? You sing the praises of Fusenshoff, he should be able to take on all three on his own to hear you.

DM: The referee’s telling the Heirs that it’s two on two, and he’s forcing them to choose someone to stand with Alexandra.

MN: I’ll do it!

DM: She’d break your leg before you got near her.

DT: Looks like Gallway’s sitting this one out, they’re going for the power game. Fuse and Bastard deciding who’s going to start, Bastard really wants at the Heirs! There’s the bell and Bastard rushes past Fuse, double clothesline as the Heirs were getting instructions from Alexandra!

MN: No fair!

DT: They should have heard the bell. Pierce back up first, Bastard with a jab rocks him back. Irish whip, and a head to the gut!

DM: That’s different. 

DT: Mack Brody coming in to try and help his partner, clubbing axe handle as Bastard tried to scoop Pierce off the mat. 

MN: And Fuse is in too! The ref has no control already!

DT: Fusenshoff in to help his partner against the two-on-one, tackles Brody. Michael shoots him a look but has Pierce by the hair, headbutt!

[As Bastard looks to press the advantage with a striking attack, Fuse and Brody are exchanging rights hands. The biggest man in the match quickly gains the upper hand with a thumb to the eye, throwing Fuse back into the corner, but as he charges in with a clothesline attempt, Fuse moves out of the way, scooping Brody up onto his shoulders. On the far side, without even noticing what’s going on, Bastard sends Pierce across the ring with an Irish Whip]

DT: BIIIIG TOSS BY FUSE!

DM: I don’t think they even knew what was happening, they just did it!

DT: Fusenshoff with a huge display of power, tossing Brody onto the incoming Pierce!

MN: And finally the ref’s getting some order.

DT: The referee forcing Fuse from the ring, Michael Bastard has Brody by the head, knee to the temple. Pierce rolling to the outside and it looks like we have a match now. Big scoop and a slam, quickly into a cover.

One!

Two!!

Easy kickout by Brody, and Bastard with a tag to Fuse.

[The crowd pops as Fusenshoff enters the match [officially], kicking Brody in the head. As the big man gets back to his feet, Fuse grabs him in a side headlock. Mack quickly forces him back to the ropes and tries to fire him off, but as he pushes Fuse simply shifts his weight, taking Brody over in a takedown!]

DT: A bit of technical wrestling from Fusenshoff, trying to isolate Brody.

DM: And a non-technical right to the skull.

MN: CHEAT! Closed fist!

DT: Brody is trying to power his way out of it, Fuse with another right hand, releases the hold and a knee to the head. 

One

Two

Another kickout, but Fuse is still on the attack! Has Brody up, knee to the gut, tags in Bastard – BIG double suplex!

[As Fuse leaves the ring, Bastard smashes his knee into the back of Brody’s skull. The Amazing Logan yells at him to do it again, and Bastard obliges before throwing Brody across the ring with an Irish whip]

DT: Bastard charges in, but Brody with a knee to the face! Bastard staggered, comes in again, STO! STO! And the big man quickly makes a tag, shaking the cobwebs.

DM: That’s what makes tag team specialists so special. He knew he wouldn’t be at his peak with those shots to the head so he’s taking a rest.

DT: Frank Pierce in, up to the second rope and drops an elbow to the back of the head. 

One

Two

No dice. They may be after tag team gold but that kind of early cover won’t cut it. 

MN: It could have done! Never know.

DT: Frank Pierce with a rear chinlock, and look how he spins it around so Bastard’s facing the Heirs of Wrestling corner – smart move. 

DM: And it’s smart because Brody can keep an eye on Fuse. 

MN: You’re looking at the next tag champs, you know. Of course they know how to cut the ring in two.

DT: The referee making sure it’s not a choke, but Michael Bastard fighting his way back to his feet, elbow to the gut – DDT by Pierce!

One!

Two!!

And another kickout by Bastard. 

[Unperturbed, the Heir member peppers Bastard with right hands. The ref starts his count but only gets to three before Pierce brings Bastard back to his feet, tagging in Brody. The big man drops to one knee as Pierce hits a Russian leg sweep onto Brody’s knee!]

DM: Great double-team move there, and Brody with a reverse DDT out of it.

MN: Hell yeah! Break that Bastard!

DT: MIKE! Family show!

MN: What? That’s his name!

DT: Sigh. Mack Brody playing to the crowd, Gallway and Malone are pleased with how things are going. Bastard back to his feet, Brody with a right hand, hooks the head, T-Bone suplex!

MN: This is just a demolition. 

DT: Bastard’s holding his back, Brody rattles him with a boot to the head. Brings him back up, has him against the ropes – right hand by Brody misses! Bastard ducks under, fires off a right, another right, Irish whip far side and a BIG running lariat! Mack Brody took too long after the T-bone!

DM: Brody back up, Bastard in with another clothesline and Brody’s outside!

DT: Michael Bastard following him quickly, Malone and Gallway trying to check on Brody but Bastard with a kick to the head. 

[As Gallway and Malone are forced away by the referee as Bastard grabs Brody by the hair, throwing him head-first into the barrier. Frank Pierce leaps down with a double axe handle across the back, saving his partner from further punishment. This forces Fusenshoff into action, as he sprints round and tackles Pierce with a forearm]

DT: This is breaking down!

MN: Fight fight fight fight!

DT: Bastard joining Fusenshoff in the attack on Pierce. Fuse grabbing Pierce, atomic drop and Bastard with a spear! These two are really impressing me with their teamwork! This could impact the big announcement we’ve got coming after this match.

DM: But Brody in and clips Bastard’s knee. Fusenshoff being ordered round to his corner by the referee, Brody checking on his partner – and Gallway with an Enziguri behind the ref’s back.

MN: Boo-yah!

DT: Oh come on! This is meant to be a tag match not three on two!

MN: It’s the Heirs of Wrestling against Bastard and Fuse, there are three Heirs. So three people to beat, it’s only fair. 

DT: Brody rolling Bastard into the ring. Tags in Pierce, Brody exposing the ribs… elbow from the second rope. Michael Bastard is one tough

MN: Bastard?

DT: But he really needs to make the tag, Fuse is itching to get in there, he’s like a caged animal!

DM: Pierce controlling Bastard with an armbar, clubs the shoulder and forces him to one knee. Logan’s trying to get his man back to his senses, Bastard’s trying to swipe at Pierce but nowhere near. 

DT: Pierce wringing the arm again, sends him off into the corner. Tag to Brody, Pierce charging in but Bastard ducks under! Brody charges, Bastard ducks under again, off the ropes, FLYING DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!

MN: But he’s tired.

DT: Michael Bastard drops to his knees after the double clothesline, but he’s back up, breathing hard, Fuse is yelling at him to make the tag! Bastard making his way towards Fuse, Pierce grabs him by the ankle – FOOTSTOMP! And there’s the tag!

MN: NO!

DT: Fuse in and takes Brody down and a clothesline, Bastard got the tag after stomping on the back of Pierce’s head – I think Pierce might have busted his nose on that. Fuse with Brody, swinging neckbreaker!

One!

Two!

Kickout at two, but Fuse still in control as Malone is checking Pierce on the outside. Bastard getting to words from Logan, Fuse hooks the head, DDT! The big man now, up to the second rope – blockbuster!

One!

TWO!!

THNO! Pierce saw what was happening and saved Brody there!

DM: And the referee’s forcing Pierce out. I wonder what’ll happen if Fuse and Bastard manage the win tonight?

MN: Not gonna happen. 

DT: But Fusenshoff is in complete control right now, continuing his impact offence with a knee to the gut and implant DDT! He’s not going for the cover, instead picking Brody back up, and a HUGE scoop slam!

DM: And Bastard tags himself back in. I don’t know how smart that is, Fuse is on a roll and Bastard can’t have recovered yet?

DT: Nonetheless, Bastard up to the top rope. Fuse picks Brody up, cross body!

One!

TWO!!

Kickout by Brody! Fuse shakes his head as he steps outside, Bastard brings Brody to his feet, Sucker Blast!

One!

TWO!!

And again Pierce in to break up the fall!

DM: And Bastard looks pissed!

DT: Michael Bastard going after Pierce, and Brody uses it as a chance to attack! Pierce steps through the ropes, back in off the tag. Winds up a right, blocked! Bastard fires a right, Pierce ducks under, backslide!

ONE!

TWO!!

THRENO! No! So close to stealing it there!

MN: Come on! Beat the Bastard already! Or the wino!

DT: Michael Bastard up first, Pierce tries for a takedown but Bastard with a big gutwrench suplex! Pierce slides across the ring, and he’s in the wrong part of town! Bastard in with a splash into the corner, tag to Fuse who comes in, inverted atomic drop by Bastard – Atomic Drop by Fuse – knee to the face by Bastard, and a BIG reverse suplex by Fuse!

ONE!!

TWO!!!

NO! no! Brody in to break it up!

MN: And Bastard tackles Brody. 

DT: Fuse and Pierce going at it, Bastard and Brody, the ref’s lost all control – again! 

DM: Right hands from Pierce to Fusenshoff, Fuse with a knee to the gut. Pierce is against the ropes, Fuse with a clothesline and both men are on the outside. 

DT: The ref’s trying to break up Brody and Bastard, Fuse and Pierce are down on the floor, Fuse up first – PRECISION POINT! NO! DAMMIT!

MN: YES!

DT: Ryan Gallway just attacked Fusenshoff on the outside with the Precision Point, Fuse’s head hit the ground hard!

DM: And the referee never saw it. 

DT: Frank Pierce rolling back into the ring, Bastard has Brody back in the corner and is stomping a mudhole – Break Your Damn Backbreaker! Dammit the Heirs are going to steal this!

MN: Can’t steal what’s yours. 

DT: The ref’s trying to get one of the Heirs out of the ring, Brody shakes the cobwebs. Pierce with Bastard, Irish Whip towards Brody

ASCENSION!! 

ONE!!

FUSE TRYING TO GET IN,

TWO

GALLWAY HAS HIM BY THE ANKLE!

THREE!! The Heirs of Wrestling steal it! Crap!

[SFX: Ding ding ding ding]

TF: The winners of this match, by pinfall…

THE HEIRS… OF… WRESTLING!!!

[CUE UP: “The Sh*t” by Danger Mouse and Jemini. Gallway and Malone roll into the ring to celebrate with Brody and Pierce]

DT: A hard-fought, stolen victory for the Heirs of Wrestling tonight, but I don’t think we’ve seen the last of Bastard and Fusenshoff. Those two impressed me for their first time teaming. 

MN: They were useless! You’d expect that with Fuse on the team. 

DT: The Amazing Logan’s checking on Bastard, Fuse looks pissed at what happened at the end but this match is in the books. Heirs of Wrestling pick up another win. 

MN: And looked damned impressive doing it.