"This is a story three years in the making."
Lindsay Troy's voice echoed throughout the arena, garnering a massively loud mixed reaction from the Madison Square Garden crowd. The camera cuts away from the ringside area to focus on Troy, standing backstage in her ring gear, in front of a white wall. The EPW World Title sits snugly around her waist, the polished faceplate glinting brightly in the fluorescent light. Kenny Lombardo stands silently by, holding a microphone up to Troy's mouth.
"Our history, Xandor, is dependent upon three things."
"Dedication to this business."
"Love of this business."
"And friendship with each other."
"But perhaps the most important thing is neither of these three."
"Perhaps it's conflict."
"Our conflict stems from parts of our history that we've never fully come to terms with, on our own or with each other. Through our own stubbornness, our failure to communicate, we constantly find ourselves at crossroads that will either define us, or break us."
"The EPW World Title is but the latest and, maybe even, our final."
"I refuse to lie and say that I thought the roles we currently find ourselves in would be the roles that will ultimately define us."
"I never thought I would be a World Champion. I never thought you would be the challenger to my World Title."
"I always thought it would be the other way around."
"My mindset comes not from thinking that my so-called 'hindrances' as a human being would have a direct effect on my performance as an athlete in this business. I've proven, time and again, that the fact that I'm a woman has no direct bearing on how well I can talk, how hard I train, how good I am in the ring or how many titles I've won."
"Rather, it is the simple fact that you've been at the top of the mountain before, wheareas my chances at ultimate glory were either snatched away from me out of spite or circumstances beyond my control, such as federations closing, halted my climb to the peak of this industry."
"I've always thought you better than me; as an athlete, as a performer, as a person."
"But now I've realized that, despite what I once thought, our positions in this business must be topsy-turvy. Flip-flopped. I must be the champion and you must be the challenger; I must be the irrational hot-head always with a point to prove and you must struggle with what you think is right, what you think you ought to do and what your Uncle would have done or said."
"In the course of individually defining ourselves, we've come to define one another through the good times and the bad."
"This is what makes our relationship special and unlike any other rivalry in this sport."
"This is why our fans love us."
"This is why Xandor Cross versus Lindsay Troy, parts one through whatever, will be talked about for years to come."
"Our match tonight is the ultimate culmination of everything we've ever fought for and everything we've ever believed in. We may not be at the top of a scaffold, we may not be fighting the Dises and we may not have your Uncle present at ringside."
"What we do have is our history of putting on five-star classics and leaving our blood, sweat and ability between the ropes."
"The only difference between you and I is that I plan on taking the World Title with me after I've left everything else behind."
"You won't be able to make the same claim."
Cut back to ringside.
[In the corner of the screen we see a shot of Lindsay Troy arriving to the arena, stepping out of the back of a limousine with her belt over her shoulder and dark sunglasses on.]
DT: That was Lindsay Troy, the World Champion arriving at the arena a little earlier tonight…and I can tell you…you can cut the tension in here with a knife.
DM: It’s electric, for sure.
DT: Alright, it's time for our main event here, and boy is it gonna be a doozy.
MN: Doozy Dave? What is this, the 1940s?
DM: Stick a pipe in it Neels. We know Dave's lame. Let him be man, let him be.
DT: Thanks Dean... I think. Anyway, there's a lot of stuff that could go down in this match.
DM: Yeah, you have the Troy and Cross dog and pony show. A lot of history there. Plus the guest ref, JA, has issues with Cross and more recently with Troy.
MN: Only because he can't take the truth that he's a choker.
DT: I wouldn't say that Neels.
MN: Well, he choked in A1E, he choked earlier tonight against Karl Brown, he choked against Cross at Russian Roulette... if he can't take Troy telling him that to his face, then he should just hang it up now.
DM: Thanks for the interruption there, mookie. Anyway, back to what I was saying, Dis 3 is still lurking around too. A lot of elements to make tonight EXPLOSIVO~!
MN: Well, just as long as when it does explode, it takes Cross and JA out with it.
DM: Neels, you are a hate-filled little man.
MN: Well they deserve it, hogging the main event spots from more deserving guys like Christian Sands and Sebastian Dodd.
DT: Hey, Dodd can't even catch a plane on time to make it here, and you want him to be in the main events?
DM: Whoa, Davey Boy with the zinger. Mark that date on your calendar, cuz that's not happening again soon.
DT: Um, thanks again... I think.
TF: Ladies and Gentlemen, this match is our main event!
[Cue up "Eat the Rich."]
TF: Let me first introduce to your guest referee for tonight's contest! Hailing from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, he's a former Empire Pro Intercontinental Champion... JAAAAAAY... AAAAAAYE!
DT: JA's got his zebra stripes on and it looks like he's ready to go.
MN: I'd say check his pockets for illegal instruments. I don't think he's going to call a clean match here.
DM: And who would he favor, the Patriots' fan who called him a choker, or the guy who tried to superkick him and his girlfriend on live TV?
MN: Umm, you know, I didn't stop to think about that.
DM: I'm not surprised.
[Cue up "Jesus Walks."]
TF: And now the challenger, weighing in at 285 pounds and hailing from Los Angeles, California... CROSSSSSSSS!
DT: Cross looks determined here. He and Troy had quite the war of words to build to this match.
DM: Yeah Dave, and as much as Xandor doesn't want to admit it, it is about the titles especially the biggest prize in the company, the one that his best friend has strapped around her waist.
DT: They weren't too friendly at the last Aggression and all the way up to now though.
MN: Well hopefully Troy will unfriendly Cross all the way out of this stinkin' arena.
[Cue up "Money, Power and Respect."]
MN: See? Here she comes to wipe the mat with that idiot in the ring.
DM: Hush Neels.
TF: And his opponent, from Tampa, Florida, weighing in at 170 pounds... she is the Empire Pro World's Heavyweight Champion... The Queen of the Ring... LINDSAY TROOOOOOOOOYYYY!
DT: Well Troy's giving the belt to our ref for tonight's match...
MN: Yeah, and that's the closest he'll ever get to a World Championship.
DM: Well, I think our Champ just said that to him and he just shot her a look that would melt steel.
DT: Hopefully he won't let his emotions get the better of him. Dan Ryan would be mighty disappointed if JA had a role in this match other than just to call it down the middle.
DM: I don't think JA wants to cross anyone's bad side unless he's about to do something about it. But tonight, it might be the best opportunity for him to do something, seeing that Dan Ryan would be in NO condition to do anything after that brawl with Beast.
MN: What, lay on his shoulders and stare at the lights while he's being pinned? Even in his laid up state, I'm sure Dan Ryan could do that to him.
DM: No, we're not talking about John Doe here...
DT: Hey, hey, hey, Dean, let's leave that situation lie, okay?
DM: Sorry.
[Ding ding ding!]
DT: Alright, our match is ready to begin here! Troy and Cross walking slowly but intently to the middle of the ring. The tension's so thick, you can cut it with a knife.
DM: It's almost as thick as Campbell's split pea soup. Nothing's better on a rainy day.
MN: [smacks self in forehead]
DM: Don't do that Neels, you might give yourself a concussion.
DT: You say that like it's a bad thing, Dean. Anyway, they're still eyeing each other up and Troy EXPLODES in with a hard chop to the chest! Cross is in disbelief!
DM: I don't think he was expecting that. No matter how hard Lindsay Troy emphasized that this was going to be a war, I still think Cross thought he was going to get kid gloves.
MN: Hey, if anyone deserves to get kid gloves, it's me!
DM: Shut up, Neels.
DT: Cross lunges in and throws some wild punches at Troy, but Troy's fighting him off with some defensive maneuvers from her Muy Thai training.
DM: A lot of people think that it's just strikes involved with Muy Thai, but thar's defense in them thar mitts as well.
DT: Cross is still landing some hits on her. He has a massive weight and height advantage. This is turning ugly quick.
MN: You're an authority on ugly Dave. I can buy that analysis.
DT: Shut up Mike. This is turning into a pull-apart brawl!
DM: No matter how spunky Troy is, she is not going to be able to win a brawl with Cross.
DT: I agree. Cross' blows are starting to get the better of the Champion. She's absorbing left, right, left and now she's down on the canvas.
MN: Hey! You can't abuse a lady like that!
DM: Well, if Troy's got the testes to stand in the ring with men, then she can take the zip-zop zoobity bop like the men can.
DT: And now Cross is standing over Troy as she's holding her head. Troy tries to shake it off, but Cross grabs her by the hair!
MN: I'm calling social services if this keeps up.
DM: Yeah, and they won't get here faster than my Pizza Hut pan pizza. Pizza Hut, Gather Round the Good Stuff!
MN: [feigns puking]
DT: Easy Mike... Cross dragging Troy to her feet and a closed fist right to the head of Lindsay Troy! The Champion reels back and Cross comes right in with ANOTHER shot to the head!
MN: This is insane! Tell this idiot masked ref to do something!
DM: Hey, it's a title match. He's letting a lot of things go. The last thing anyone wants to see is a cheap DQ very early in the match, Neels.
MN: I don't care! I don't want Lindsay Troy not to be hot anymore!
DM: [sigh]
DT: Cross backing Troy into a corner here, he takes a few steps back, charging in and... TROY MOVED! Lindsay Troy moved out of the way of that Hornet Splash and she goes for the quick roll up...
...one...
...no, JA didn't even get his hand down for the one count before Cross kicked out.
MN: Cheater! Slow count! He's favoring Cross!
DM: Shut up Neels, that wasn't slow. Besides, I think he hates Cross more than he hates Troy right now anyway.
DT: Cross and Troy are up, and Cross catches Troy off guard with a big clothesline!
DM: Troy surprised Cross with that roll up, and Cross surprises her right back.
DT: Cross sizing up Troy and leaps in the air driving his knee into the head of Lindsay Troy!
DM: Hey, I guess that knee is all better.
DT: He has rehabbed it extensively since Russian Roulette. Cross back to the mat and he's got a sleeperhold locked in.
DM: If Troy keeps taking punishment like this, it might be a very short night for her. She has good endurance...
MN: Heh, I know about that first hand, giggity.
DM: Oh, why do I even bother...
DT: Cross leaning down with all his weight onto the Champion. He's really working that weight and height advantage right now.
DM: Yeah, excellent strategy there on the part of Cross. Wear down the Champ and then take her greatest asset away from her, that being her quickness.
DT: Well, she won't be that quick if she's asleep, and even though it's early in the match, she's not looking so hot.
MN: It's still very, very early in the match. Lindz will bounce back, just give 'er time.
DT: As much as I hate to say it, I agree with Neels.
DM: Me too, but I think we're doing it for the different reasons, Dave.
MN: Shut up, Dean.
DT: JA's going over to check Troy, he raises her arm, but the Champion holds strong. JA's breaking out the five count now, one, two, three, and Cross finally breaks. Troy's slumped on the mat and now Cross laying her down on her back. Cross hops back, off the ropes he... NO!
[Troy rolls on her side, swivels and counters Cross' rope running with a drop toehold into a side headlock.]
DT: Did you just see that? Amazing!
DM: I guess she hasn't been worn down too much here. I like this strategy for her too. Wear down the bigger man, take out his strength.
DT: Troy's got the headlock vised in, but Cross is getting to his feet!
DM: Cross has taken his toll early in this match... Lindz is a little weakened...
DT: Cross gets his arms around and... side suplex! Cross covers...
...one...
...two...
...and Troy kicks out. Cross back to his feet and he's dragging Troy into the corner. Scoop and Troy in the tree of woe here. Cross goes back, charges up, he heads in... baseball slide into Tr... NO! OH MY LORD!
[Troy at the last second kips up and grabs the top rope with both hands as Cross crotches himself on the ringpost.]
DT: What an amazing display of dexterity!
DM: And I don't think Cross is going to have a good weekend after that.
MN: Good, I hope he never has a good weekend again. And now that his nads are crushed, maybe we won't see any little Crosses running around thank God.
DT: Troy dismounts from the tree, and I can't believe her athleticism.
DM: Well, she ain't the Champ cuz she can bench press a million tons now.
DT: I know this, but that was unreal! Troy grabbing Cross by the ankle as he's still holding his groin.
DM: That was so bad that JA is even cringing.
DT: Troy's got Cross by the ankle, and it looks like she's going send an elbow down to Cross' groin!
DM: This is painful to watch...
DT: Wait a second, JA's interjecting himself here physically.
MN: What's he doing? I thought he was going to let this match go, Dean. A rat always shows his true colors!
DM: That wasn't even a coherent cliché, Neels.
DT: JA stepping between Troy and her target. I think he's telling her that's enough of the ball abuse or something.
DM: Hey, the testes are near and dear to JA. I think he's a part of the Ball Preservation Society of America.
MN: What the hell?
DT: Gentlemen, let's get back to the match here. JA and Troy are arguing a bit, and now Troy turns away in frustration. She's dropping the elbow, and lazily I might add... and CROSS ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY!
MN: That's it! String JA up by his shorthairs! He's fixing this match so Cross can win!
DM: I highly doubt that, Neels.
DT: Cross helps himself up with the ropes. Troy goes over... NO! Cross just elbowed her in the midsection! Troy doubled over, Cross with the swinging neckbreaker! Cover...
...one...
...two...
...the Champion kicks out.
MN: Dan Ryan made a mistake! The fix is in!
DM: I highly doubt that, Neels. JA just doesn't want anyone to suffer unnecessary ball pain.
DT: Cross is up. He's got Troy up, Irish whip... tilt-a-whirl backbreaker! Cross is now going to the top rope!
DM: When the big man flies, it brings the IMPACT~!
DT: He's climbing, this MSG crowd is going nuts. JA's looking on...
DM: That's because he knows Cross is going for the move that beat him at Russian Roulette here.
MN: The finger poke of doom?
DM: That's it, no more WCW archives for Neels.
DT: Cross up on the top, he jumps, moonsault on... NO! NO! Troy moved! Troy moved! Cross just ate canvas on that moonsault!
DM: Give credit to the Champion. She's a spry lil' lass now, ain't she?
MN: Don't you patronize the Champ like that!
DM: Yeah, like you didn't patronize Beast every second of his reign.
DT: Troy's dragging herself to the ropes, Cross slow to get up. The ref begins his count, one, two, three... Cross is up and he's holding his gut. Troy is up now too, she hobbles over to Cross. Cross upright, Troy with the no grab enziguir... NO! She misses! Cross ducked! She missed! And now Cross goes right in with an Achilles lock on Troy!
DM: Things just aren't going the Champion's way today.
MN: She'll come back! Cross is a nobody. C'mon Lindz, c'mon.
DM: Yeah, and you complain about my shilling. At least I get paid.
DT: Troy's once again dragging herself to the ropes, but Cross is pulling on that ankle. Look at the pain in Troy's eyes. She's straining.
DM: Well, Cross is putting a lot of pressure on that ankle, Dave.
DT: But Troy's still fighting through it. She's almost to the ropes.
MN: Of course she is. She's going to make it because Cross is a girly man.
DM: Thank you, Kevin Nealon.
DT: Troy's grasping, leaning... and she's finally got the bottom rope! Cross isn't letting go though.
DM: This is uncharacteristic of Cross, especially given the level of professional respect.
DT: But they're big rivals though.
MN: Yeah, so it's natural that Cross would cheat.
DT: Or not, but he's still got it on. JA with one, two... he's skipping the count now! JA rips Cross off of Troy!
DM: See Neels? He's not biased.
DT: No, he's not, but Cross looks like he thinks he is. He's staring a hole right through JA.
MN: Well I don't know why. Cross was clearly in the wrong here.
DM: That might be true, but still, I bet he's not accustomed to the ref putting his hands on him like th...
DT: HOLY CRAP! Roll up by Troy...
...one...
...two...
...Cross kicks out!
MN: Ha! That oughtta teach that idiot Cross to keep his mind on what matters!
DT: Both Cross and Troy are up, Troy with a martial arts... no! Cross blocks it! Kick to the gut, piledriver! Piledriver! He covers...
...one...
...two...
...but the Champion kicks out.
DM: The wear is catching up to Troy. I don't know if she can hold off Cross for much longer like this.
DT: Especially given how unrelenting Cross is tonight. He's got Troy back up and he's dragging her over to the turnbuckles, slams Lindsay's head into the top turnbuckle. One, two, three...
DM: And now JA's getting in there again!
DT: Yeah, he's getting pretty physical in this match.
DM: Well, I think he knows that there's a lot at stake here, emotionally as well as professionally.
MN: Hey, he should get involved given how Cross is cheating here.
DT: Cross is not happy again, but he's shaking it off now, gets behind Troy.
DM: This isn't going to be good...
DT: Release tiger suplex by Cross! Oh man, that was all impact, no bridge. Lindsay Troy might be out like a light here. But Cross isn't going to cover here!
MN: That's because he doesn't want to beat our fair Champion, he wants to maim her! This is an outrage!
DT: Cross sizing up Troy and... knee to the head of Lindsay Troy! Now he's going to cover...
...one...
...two...
...thr... NO! Troy kicks out, and Cross is beside himself here. He thought he had the goods to put Troy away, but apparently not.
DM: He's gotta be pissed with himself. He's been rockin' Troy's dome for the last five minutes. A lot of punishment here, and it's either because Cross is holding back or Troy's more resilient than we thought. Given what we're seeing tonight, I'm betting it's the latter.
MN: Of course it's the latter you fool.
DT: Cross back up and stomps on Troy's head repeatedly, picks her back up. Kick to the gut and... Rocker dropper! Cross just hit Troy with that Rocker dropper! And now he's got Troy back up again.
DM: Cross knows how hard it is to put away Troy. These two met in an epic scaffold match encounter in A1E.
DT: Cross whips Troy into the corner, walks in, perching her on the top rope.
DM: Suuuuperpleeex, to the resssscuuuuue!
MN: Never do that again, Dean.
DT: Guys, settle down. Cross climbing up and... no! Troy punches Cross in the face once, twice, three times, four times, Cross falls to the canvas! Troy stands up...
MN: This is where it starts to get good, guys!
DT: Leaps... ELBOW DROP! Reminiscent of Craig Miles! She covers...
...one...
...two...
...Cross kicks out! Both are slow to get back up here.
DM: Well, Cross wore down Troy pretty good.
DT: Both of them are up, Cross over to Troy, hard ch... no! Troy blocks it and a thrust right to Cross' throat! Cross holds his throat, stumbling back, Troy drops back, off the ropes... leaping calf kick! Cross' back against the ropes!
DM: Amazing how Troy has swung momentum back into her favor here.
MN: It's not amazing. It's routine.
DT: Troy's dragging Cross to his feet now, knife edge chop, hard to Cross' chest...
CROWD: WOOO!
DT: ...and another one...
CROWD: WOOOO!
DT: ...and another one!
CROWD: WOOOOO!
DT: Cross against the ropes, Troy with the Irish whip and a DDT from the Champion! Cross down to the canvas!
MN: Troy making this look easy against that punk Cross.
DM: Yeah, easy like getting her butt handed to her earlier.
DT: Troy standing over Cross, and... OH MY LORD! There's that standing shooting star press again! What an amazing athletic move!
One...
...two...
...Cross kicks out!
DM: The crowd's really digging the athleticism.
DT: Troy may be the best pure athlete we have here on the roster. She picks up Cross... snap suplex! Wait, she's got the facelock still on, another snap suplex, what tenacity, back up and yet another snap suplex from Lindsay Troy!
DM: A page out of Eddie Guerrero's playbook there.
MN: Hey, don't associate Lindsay with a lying, cheating, stealing SOB! She's dainty and innocent like the driven snow.
DM: Dude, I think she'd be offended if she heard that said about her.
DT: Troy now up, she heads outside the ropes on the apron. She leaps up... SPRINGBOARD TWISTING ELBOW DROP!
DM: What a move!
MN: See? I told you she was the best pure athelete we have in Empire!
DT: No Neels, that was me. Troy covers...
...one...
...two...
...but Cross again kicks out. Troy's going to the top rope.
DM: She might be looking to finish Cross off here.
MN: I hope so!
DT: Troy perched on the top rope... FROGSPLASH! Frogsplash from the top!
One...
...two...
...thr... NO! Cross kicks out! Cross kicks out!
DM: That was a high impact splash. But Troy doesn't look suprised.
DT: Well, she has been through wars with Cross before. She knows it'll take a lot to put him away. Troy back up, she drags Cross to his feet to. Knife edge chop...
CROWD: WOOOO!
DT: And now Troy up to the top rope again. She's lining up the wobbly Cross and... HURRICANR... NO! NO! NO! CROSS JUST COUNTERED WITH A BIG POWERBOMB!
DM: This is huge! Check the impact on that bomb!
DT: Let's check it out again on the TiVo Rewind Replay!
[Split screen to Cross powerbombing Troy in slow-motion while both competitors stir on the canvas to JA's 10 count on the live screen.]
DT: Troy can't even get the torque to take Cross down and he's got this counter from get-go one here.
MN: Blah blah blah, let's stop giving him a verbal bl...
DT and DM: FAMILY SHOW!
MN: ...bl... ah forget it, I can't get my way out of that one.
[Back to a full live screen. Cross is up first.]
DT: Back to live action, and Cross may have this match in hand.
MN: No he doesn't! And if he does, he only has it because he's cheating!
DM: Yeah yeah.
DT: Cross grabs Troy. He's signaling with the throat slash!
DM: Looks like we're goin' to Golgotha!
DT: Cross with Troy in the headscissors, up and he's got her upright but... NO! At the last possible second before he dropped her, Lindsay Troy kicked Cross' bad knee out from under him with a desperation backthrust of her boot!
DM: She is a magician!
MN: That's why she's the Champion!
DT: Cross down in a crumpled heap! Troy, holding her back, she's up, and now she's got Cross by the legs.
DM: Goodnight Irene...
DT: She's got the legs grapevined... she's trying to get Cross turned over. He's struggling, fighting.
MN: Give in! Let her turn you over! It's all over!
DT: Cross is fighting and Troy is straining! It's a battle of the wills!
DM: It's like a tug of war in there!
DT: You're telling me, Dean. Lindsay's straining, straining... wait! She just punched Cross in his bad knee! Cross is over! Cross is over! Troy locks onto the legs and arches back to grab Cross' head!
DM: The Dynastic Cycle! The Dynastic Cycle! She's got him locked in!
DT: Oh my Lord! Cross is screaming out in pain!
MN: Tap! Tap you silly bastard! It's all over!
DT: Cross is straining. I hate to say it, but you might be right Neels. Cross may not have an escape here.
DM: Look at the pain in his eyes, Dave. His knee's gotta be on fire here, but he wants that World Championship so bad. He doesn't want to give up.
DT: Even JA is cringing at Cross' state. This is bad! Cross wants to win the title, but he's in an awful way... wait a second, he's dragging himself to the ropes!
MN: The hell? How is he doing this? His head is stretched back!
DT: I don't know, but he's inching closer to the ropes! If he can just reach the ropes.
DM: I don't know how he's doing it. I don't know, but dagnabbit, he's doing it. Do you believe in miracles?
MN: No I don't, Al Michaels, and I'd thank you not to say that ever again.
DT: Cross is almost there! It's almost as if he's willing himself to those ropes. This crowd can't believe it, JA can't believe it, hell, I can't believe it!
DM: Just one more grab and he's got the ropes.
DT: Cross is inching, he lunges for the ropes, he's not there! He's trying to drag himself to the ropes, one more inch... he's reaching, reaching...
MN: No! No!
DT: No! He's tapping! He's tapping! He can't move his body anymore! Oh man, oh my Lord, so close.
MN: YES! YES!
[DING DING DING]
DM: Oh man, so close, but so far.
DT: And to think, Cross was so close to winning, but the wily Champion, Lindsay Troy, pulled yet another one from her bag of tricks and pulled this one out.
DM: You have to hand it to Troy, you have to.
TF: Here is your winner, by submission... AND STILL EPW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...
..."THE QUEEN OF THE RING," LIIINDSAYYYY TRRROOOOOOOYYYYY!
DT: Oh man, Cross is rolling out the ring, slightly limping to the back, head down, but he has nothing to be ashamed of. And now Lindsay's in the ring and JA's handing her her belt. Raising her hand too.
DM: That's gotta be a little bittersweet for JA, raising the hand of someone who badmouthed him like that.
DT: Well Dean, JA is a professional, regardless of what anyone in any other corner of this business would say. And now Troy's looking JA in the eye.
MN: Clock him! Clock him! He tried to screw you out of the match!
DM: Shut up Neels, he called a fair match.
DT: Yes he did. And now Lindsay Troy is extending her hand to JA! JA accepts!
MN: I think I'm going to be sick.
[Troy tells JA, "You called a good match. I respect that." JA nods.]
DM: Oh shove it, Neels. Sportsmanship's good, mmkay?
DT: And thank you very much for joining us here on pay-per...
[The arena lights go black.]
DT: What the hell is that?
DM: I don't know, but I'm a little skeeved.
MN: Hold me.
DM: No Neels, go hug Ray Rock or something.
[A spotlight shines on the far left corner of the ring as white smoke billows from either side of the spotlight. Suddenly, the ring opens up and from a hydraulic lift comes DIS 3 into the ring.]
DT: That's Dis Three! Dis Three! Oh my Lord, I can't believe he's going to interrupt Lindsay Troy in her moment of triumph!
MN: Hey, let's give the guy a chance here. Maybe he's come to say Lindsay is going to save 15 percent on her car insurance by sticking to Geico. I know I did.
DM: Damn you Neels! Geico's my endorsement! Stop stealing my heat!
[Dis 3 reaches into his cape and pulls out a house mic.]
DIS 3: I TOLD YOU THE SINS MUST BE REPAID! THE SINS ARE SIMPLE LINDSAY TROY... PLAGARISM. YOU USED ME TO MAKE YOURSELF A STAR IN THIS SPORT... BUT NOW I USE YOU... AS MY STEPPING STONE IN SHOWING I AM THE GREATEST WRESTLER IN THE HISTORY OF THIS INDUSTRRRRYYY.
[The house lights come back on. Behind Lindsay Troy and JA are two figures dressed in black sackcloth robes and fright masks. One's big, one's kinda slender.]
DT: My God, no! Turn around!
DM: Just when you thought things couldn't get weirder...
DT: NO! Those two goons of Dis Three just assaulted Troy and JA! The bigger one's on JA and the smaller one is assaulting Troy. Wait! They turned it around! Troy raining rights and lefts down on the one goon, JA with chops, sends the big one over the top! This crowd is going nuts!
DM: Troy and JA, the unlikeliest duo in all of Empire Pro!
MN: Oh, stop making me vomit!
DT: And now Troy is advancing on Dis Three, and Dis Three's not moving. It's almost as if he wants her to come over and attack her.
DM: I don't know about this, something fish...
DT: OH MY GOD! THE BIG ONE JUST CAME BACK IN THE RING AND LAID OUT JA WITH A STEEL CHAIR! JA IS OUT COLD!
DM: Troy better look out behind her too...
DT: And the skinny one just came back in the ring too! And he tackles Troy! He's raining punches down on a prone Troy, and now the big one drops his chair and helps! Oh my, I'm going to be sick! Lindsay Troy doesn't deserve this! She just won a hard-fought match!
MN: But what if she's going to save on her car insur...
DT and DM: SHUT UP!
DT: Oh my, I don't like where this is headed... Dis Three's guards have Troy by the arms and now he's approaching...
DIS 3: AND TO SEAL YOUR FATE... I WILL SEAL IT... WITH A KISS...
[Dis 3 lifts up his mask halfway and kisses with tongue Troy against her will.]
DT: Oh, this is despicable.
DM: If I were Joey Melton, I wouldn't be taking this lying down.
DT: And now he's standing up, removing the rest of his mask...
DM: It's not... it's not...
DT: IT IS! IT IS! IT'S.... TROY WINDHAM! TROY WINDHAM! TROY WINDHAM IS IN EMPIRE PRO! TROY WINDHAM! THE EPITOME! HE WAS DIS THREE! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!
MN: Yes! Yes! Finally, someone to represent this company with pride!
DM: Oh shut up Neels. Just minutes ago, you were slurping up Troy, and now you're against her?
MN: Yeah, well that was when she was facing Cross. Then she had to go and fraternize with that loser JA and I don't think you're grasping that TROY FRIGGIN' WINDHAM is in Empire now.
DT: I can't believe this. This crowd can't believe this. They're throwing cups and garbage into the ring. Windham unmasking his minions, still grasping a beaten Troy... and it's August de la Rossi and The Mysterious Zoltan. I can't believe it. I'm so disgusted.
DM: Man, I thought they quit.
MN: Haha, they fooled you. They fooled you good.
DT: And now Windham's bending over to force himself on her again. I think I'm going to throw up.
DM: Enough is enough.
MN: It hasn't been enough yet!
DT: I'm going to... wait!
[Troy spits in Windham's face before he can force-kiss her again.]
DT: No! No Lindsay, you just made it worse. I can't believe it. I'm going to be sick.
[Windham brings the mic to his mouth again.]
TW: See, Lindsay, [wiping the spit from his face] my leading lady... I thought you were going to do something like that. But I'm a gentleman, Lindsay. I'm not going to be like one of the trogladytes in the back and hit you. No. Because a real man doesn't need to hit a woman to get over in pro wrestling's minor leagues. But I've been studying the magic of Hollywood in my dubious plot to get you right where I have you right now... and it'd be a shame if I let the personal lessons from David Blaine go to waste. So here's the last magic trick I am ever going to do...
DT: What does he mean last magic trick?
[Windham pulls something from cape and clicks it... WHOOSH!]
DT: OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! HE DIDN'T! FIREBALL! FIREBALL TO THE FACE OF LINDSAY TROY! OF ALL THE DESPICABLE THINGS TO DO! OH MY LORD!
DM: Dave, I'm with you. I'm about to be sick.
[Trash begins to FLY into the ring now. Windham and the Entourage are unfazed by it though, being veterans of trash ducking in NFW and CSWA.]
MN: I don't know why you're all sick or why these fans insist on pelting the ring with garbage. This is easily the single greatest thing I've ever seen in Empire Pro history! Troy Windham! And he had all you fooled.
DT: I... I... I just can't fathom this. I'm too numb for words.
[Windham pulls a bottle of Evian out of his cape, drinks a sip and then pours the rest of it on Lindsay's burnt face as she's rolling around on the canvas, holding her face. August is in Lindsay's face, yelling at her about the greatness of the Entourage and Troy Windham.]
DT: This is just sickening. Lindsay Troy's laid out. JA's laid out. The Entourage and Troy Windham... I'm... I'm at a loss for words.
MN: YES!
DM: Hey Neels, why don't you just shove it man. This is bad. I... this sucks.
DT: I'm Dave Thomas, disgusted and signing off Black Dawn for all you. I hope you at home enjoyed yourselves before this display.
[The last shot on the screen is of Windham and the Entourage standing over a fallen Troy and JA as the customary trademark graphic flashes across the bottom of the screen.]
FIN