The opening guitar harmonics of Saliva's "Ladies and Gentlemen" ring througout the arena.

DT: Looks like Beast has got something on his mind, folks, although, with everything that's been going down over the past few months, I'd make that a pretty easy guess.

MN: Aww, here we go again. Isn't it bad enough I have to see him in TWO promotions, and now he gets extra mic time?

TF: Ladies and gentlement, it is my pleasure to introduce at this time... the former EPW World Heavyweight Champion.... BEAST!

Beast appears at center stage and waits for a few moments, taking in the cheers of the crowd. He then proceeds to the ring amidst a flurry of moving red 
and white spotlights, before climbing into the ring. Beast walks over and grabs the microphone from Fatora.

Beast: It's about time. It's about GOT-DAMNED TIME!

There's a revolution in the air, folks, and one that Dan Ryan doesn't want you to know about. No, Ryan is content to sweep everything under the rug. He'll do whatever it takes to mess with me, with Irishred, with anyone associated with A1E, but when it comes time for anyone to rise up and challenge him, it all gets swept under the rug with the efficiency of an old-school Chicago mafia hit. Like what happened in my match earlier tonight. Two men going at it and putting on a show for the FANS…and he sends his goons down to make a mockery of it.

"I'll throw a bunch of money at you to shut up and not get involved. Defy me, and well, ya get whacked."

I guess it was enough for some people. People I thought wanted to do the right things in this business. People like JA, and Troy Douglas, who have about as much love for Dan Ryan as Mike Neely does for vegetables. Those were people that I thought - that *A1E* thought - would have our backs through all of this. but when it came time to pony up, their spines turned into powder and they wilted and shied away like a vampire from sunlight.

But, back on the home front, it's good to know that unlike these two wankers, there's still people that can't be bought by-

But Beast is interrupted as the crowd starts yelling at Beast to look behind him, and as he does, CHRONIC COLLIZION comes out of the crowd and slides into the ring!

MN: Finally someone's here to SHUT HIM UP!

DT: Chronic Collizion hits the ring, and Beast ducks under a tandem punch attempt and hits the ropes! Beast rebounds and TAKES DOWN CHRONIC COLLIZION with a double clothesline! Beast grabs Erik Black and lands a right hand, but he's quickly VJORKED FROM BEHIND as the big Russian Dalkichev grabs Beast and TOSSES him down with a gut wrench powerbomb!

MN: I think Ivan just KILLED Beast! This is great!

DT: And there's Black to start driving boots into Beast's head, and Ivan joins him as Chronic Collizion just starts BLASTING away at Beast here!

MN: Serves him right for trying to mess with Dan Ryan!

Black and Dalkichev continue working over Beast for a few moments, then something never heard before on EPW programming RIPS through the arena over the PA.

The opening crunch of George Thoroghgood's "Bad To The Bone" plays over the PA, and it doesn't matter if you're an EPW or A1E fan, everyone in attendance is a wrestling fan, and they know exactly what that music means, and leap to their feet, TEARING the roof off of the arena.

MN: Good God, no!

DT: OHHHHHHHHHHHH MY!!! I can't believe it! HE'S HERE!! HE'S HERE!!

Former multiple time A1E World Heavyweight Champion BIG DOG steps out onto the stage, and seeing the chaos in the ring, SPRINTS down the ramp and slides into the ring! Chronic Collizion turn to face Big Dog, but he greets them continuously with alternating right hands while the announcers go APE!

DT: BIG DOG is the man that Beast was referring to as the one that could NEVER be bought! Former Tag Team Champion partner and, I guess you could say former best friend of EPW Owner Dan Ryan is HERE IN EPW to help Beast in the fight against Ryan! He's SLAGGING Chronic Collizion with right hands!

MN: Big Dog should have been smart and stayed in his own dog house! Ryan's going to GET him for this!

DT: Black drops! Dalkichev is rocked backwards! ANOTHER right hand from Big Dog sends Dalkichev reeling! ANOTHER one knocks him down! Black is back up on his feet, and HE'S sent down by a Big Dog clothesline! Beast is back up on his feet now, and he and Black start trading right hands! Dalkichev nails Big Dog with a shot of his own, but Big Dog SHRUGS IT OFF and boots Dalkichev in the guts! AND A BIG CLOTHESLINE SENDS IVAN DALKICHEV OVER THE TOP AND TO THE ARENA FLOOR! AND BEAST NAILS ONE OF HIS OWN ON BLACK, AND THERE HE GOES OVER THE TOP!!

Beast and Big Dog watch as the Chronic Collizion members are IRATE on the arena floor, and Ivan starts to head back into the ring! Big Dog and Beast motion them to bring it, but Black quickly grabs Dalkichev and whispers something to Ivan, and the big man backs down, before the two start heading to the back! Big Dog walks across the ring and grabs the mic that Beast dropped earlier at the start of the Chronic Attack!

BD: Six months ... it's been almost six months now, Dan!

Big Dog paces almost violently while he speaks.

BD: I sat back. Part of me didn't want to believe you'd actually go through with shutting down my home. MY HOME! I kept myself away from you, content to just slap around the lackeys like those two boys that just left here with their tails between their legs!

But that's just not getting the message across to you, is it Dan?

All those months that we were tag team partners, you told me there would come a day when we would be on opposite sides. But, you also told me that when that day came, I'd see the knife coming.

So much for the word of Dan Ryan!

I've had enough, Dan. No more slapping your punks around. If you want to kill a snake, you've got to chop the head off. So, I'm here, Dan. I'm here, giving you the courtesy that you never gave me. I'm coming after you, Dan. And I'm coming straight at your face.

A1E will be ready for Wargames, Dan. And you can damn sure bet that your partner ... your friend ... will be standing on the other side of that ring from you!

[Dan Ryan, without fanfare…..steps out onto the stage – and the tension in the arena goes to nuclear levels.]

MN: You two screwed the pooch this time!!

DT: Is he actually coming out to confront his former partner??? His friend??

[Ryan starts down the ramp, then seems to pause and think it over….then stops.]

Ryan: Paul – this is disappointing. But I said before that I won’t fight you, and I won’t. I’ve kept everyone working for me from touching you because I promised you that respect.

[A quick shot of Big Dog in the ring catches him rolling his eyes at the mention of respect.]

Ryan: Paul – everyone around us has run their mouths, made their threats. You’re standing in the ring with one of the biggest piles of crap this industry has ever seen…. [Loud boos] ……and you’re right. It’s high time we take care of this face to face.

[A tense moment passes as they stand in silence.]

Ryan: On the night of Vengeance – you and me. I’ll let you know the location beforehand, but I won’t let any of these people know. We’re gonna sit down and talk this out – the way we should have a long time ago – I’ll give you that respect, that you say I should have given you six months ago. We’re gonna hash this out once and for all – and one way or another, if nothing else….we’ll finally understand the other.

But as for any physicalities?? Not tonight – not ever. I’m sorry to disappoint you.

[Ryan makes no other move, save for simply turning and walking back through the curtain, leaving Big Dog staring after him as the scene fades out.]

[Backstage – a very angry Dan Ryan storms the production truck and finds….nobody. He closes his eyes and smiles slightly, letting out a short chuckle.

“New crew members…..”

Another laugh….

“NEW CREW MEMBERS…”

He sighs and turns to leave. “Figures.”]

[The scene opened up in front of the guerrilla position, as EPW reporter Kenny Lombardo stood, microphone raised to the mouth of EPW World Heavyweight Champion , Sean “Triple X” Stevens.

A chorus of boos ensued.]

LOMBARDO: Champ, this match has been brewing for months. You have been a constant thorn in the side of Rocko Daymon from the moment he returned to Empire Pro Wrestling. So much so, that it seems like you were the one that instigated this whole ordeal in order to get this match. It started with heated words that led to a hotly contested match-up. That match-up led to several sneak attacks, stern warnings and random acts of humiliation, which then led to allegations of a sexual relationship between you and Caitlyn Daymon, which finally leads us to here and now ... Black Dawn. Your World Heavyweight Championship on the line. What should we expect from you tonight?

[The champ was shirtless, and in plain black wrestling tights. His EPW World Heavyweight Championship was around his waist, and his hair was loosely pony-tailed. He had on a pair of black Armani Exchange sunglasses that prevented you from seeing his eyes, and was cleanly shaved. 

Triple X adjusted the microphone by pulling it closer to his mouth, as he locked eyes with the camera, dead on.]

TRIPLE X: Sneak attacks, sexual allegations ... humiliation? All of that means absolutely NOTHING at this point. Those things happened in order to get us here. They have nothing to do with what happens from this point on. But, I'll tell you what does. It's about this, Rocko...

[Sean pointed at his heart, simultaneously removing his sunglasses.]

TRIPLE X: It's not about who's the funniest, or who cracks the better joke. It's about who has the most HEART. You like to label yourself a true professional and because tonight isn't about oneupmanship I'll call a spade a spade and agree. Rocko, you ARE a true professional, and you are a great wrestler. You are mentally strong, and technically sound. You have taken some of my best shots, and you still stand tall, and for that you should be applauded.

[Slight applause throughout the arena.]

TRIPLE X: But, you're not going to win my title. This match-up is about determining who is the better man, and Rocko, you are NOT the better man. You like to call me arrogant, you like to call me a lot of things, but one of the things you have failed to take into consideration is the fact that I live and breathe this sport called wrestling. I'm here to be the best, anything less is failure for me, and I will kick, scratch, claw, bite, kill, and die for the EPW World Heavyweight Championship.

“... and, you won't. That's the difference between you and I.”

[Stevens dropped the microphone to the floor, as a loud thud echoes, and he walks out of the camera's view.]

MAIN EVENT
EPW World Heavyweight Championship
"Triple X" Sean Stevens (c) vs. Rocko Daymon


DT: Ladies and gentlemen, at long last the time has come. Rocko Daymon has gone through hell and back to get to this moment, folks. He’s had to overcome the mess that became of the number-one contender’s spot since Russian Roulette, and he’s had to fight off the immense threat posed by Sean Stevens’ newest ally, the demented man known as Stalker who has made it his personal basis to make Rocko and Caitlyn Daymon’s lives a living hell.

MN: What is this guy’s life, a frikkin soap opera?

DM: Well, it is pro wrestling, Neels.

DT: But, Rocko has persevered, and tonight at Black Dawn, Rocko Daymon gets his chance to fulfill his lifelong quest. Tonight, Rocko Daymon has his chance at the EPW World Heavyweight Championship and looks to mark himself down as the sixth name on the list of names that have held wrestling’s most prestigious title.

DM: Of course, he’ll have to get by a little someone by the name of Triple X to get there, won’t he?

DT: That’s right, Dean. The final step for Rocko Daymon will most certainly be the most trying. “Triple X” Sean Stevens has set the world on fire since arriving in Empire Pro Wrestling. He rolled through sixteen men to earn the title of King of the Cage 2007, and he parlayed that into pinning Joey Melton –

DM: -- with the help of Ice Tre – 

DT: -- for the EPW World Title at Russian Roulette. Tonight, he puts that title and his string of dominance on the line. The stage is set, let’s bring out the players and pull the curtain!

MN: You unerring ability to be a colossal dork is unnerving, Burgerman.

[CUE UP: “Death is the Communion” by High on Fire. The crowd goes absolutely BALLISTIC with cheers as Caitlyn Daymon makes her way onto the ramp. This time, she’s got no microphone. She just motions to the back, and fireworks erupt all over Reliant Stadium as the One True Professional Wrestler strides onto the stage, one fist held high in the air. The couple strides to the ring to the roar of the crowd, and Rocko slides into the ring, salutes the crowd in all four corners, then leans against the ropes and waits.]

DT: Rocko Daymon has come so far in EPW, and tonight he gets his shot against the most dominant wrestler in recent EPW history.

[“Death is the Communion” fades out, and then we hear the familiar lyrics kick in…

You don’t have to pick me … to win the title fight
But, I’m gonna wear that championship belt SO tight.

The lights in the arena go dark, but a single spotlight shines as Triple X steps through the curtain and onto the stage to a ferociously mixed reaction. All of a sudden …

BOOOOOOOOOM!!!! Fireworks throughout the 70,000 seat stadium.

… and if I’m wrong, there is no right.

The champ makes his way to the ring, the EPW World Heavyweight Championship held proudly over his shoulder. He climbs into the ring and holds his trophy high above his air, and as the lights in the building come back up, he hands the strap to EPW senior official Pat Jones, who shows the belt to Daymon, then holds it up to the crowd.]

DT: its main event time, folks! To Tony Fatora to introduce the stars of our show!

TF: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL, and is for the Empire Pro Wrestling Heavyweight Championship of the World. The referee in charge of the action, EPW senior official Pat Jones. Introducing first, the challenger…

Hailing from Tacoma, Washington, he stands six feet, two inches tall and weighs in at 243 pounds. He is the officially recognized number one contender, he is the One True Professional Wrestler, he is …. RRRRRRROOOOOOCCKOOOOOOOO DAAAAAAAAAYYYYMOOOOOOOONNNNN!!!!!

[Massive crowd POP as Daymon again holds his fist in the air. His eyes, however, don’t move from the champ.]

TF: His opponent…

Hailing from Orlando, Florida, he stands six feet, two inches tall and weighs in at 245 pounds. He is the Blue-Eyed Badass, the 2007 King of the Cage and the REIGNING and DEFENDING EPW Heavyweight Champion of the Wooooorld…

TRRRRIIIIIPPPPLEEE ECCCCCKSSSSS…

SEAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN STEEEEEEEEEEEEVVEEEEENNNNNSSSS!!!!! 

[SFX: Bell rings]

DT: This is it, folks, the main event!

MN: Yes. We know. We’ve been talking about it for three whole hours!

DT: And Rocko Daymon’s wasting no time! He’s right on Triple X with a flurry of punches, and the champ is backed into the corner! Pat Jones forces a break—but Daymon is right back on the attack with a big forearm right to the side of the head.

DM: Rocko Daymon does this as well as anyone in the business, Thomas. He can be absolutely relentless on offense.

MN: Thank you, CommentatorBot 4000 Z.

DM: Why Z?

MN: Y’know … Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzsssnoorrrreee.

DM: Crap. He fell asleep already.

DT: Stevens pulls himself out of the corner, but the challenger takes him right down and lays in the hard elbows on the ground! Rocko is absolutely pummeling the champ, but Stevens slips free and slides out of the ring for a quick breather.

DM: Rocko’s come in here with the mindset that he is going to try and run over the world champ, and I think Trip needs some time to reformulate his game plan.

DT: Stevens rolls back into the ring … but he doesn’t even have a chance to get back up before Rocko’s laying into him with vicious stomps! Daymon pulls the champ to his feet, whips him off the ropes … and drops the champion with a hard elbow. Rocko with the cover…

ONE…

And a kickout by Stevens at one point five!

MN: You’re timing’s off, Thomas. That was more like 1.273664556.

DT: Stevens rolls to his feet, but Rocko’s too quick for him! He drives a knee straight into the gut, and lights up Trip’s chest with a vicious chop! And another! And a response from Stevens! Daymon! Stevens! Daymon! Stevens!

MN: NEEEEEELLLYYYYY!!!!

DM: Um, no.

MN: Damn.

DT: These two are circling the ring, absolutely chopping the daylights out of each other … Stevens blocks … and a boot to the gut! Daymon doubles over, and he tastes a running boot from the world champion.

MN: Yeah, but it was an ’86 black leather boot, so it probably tasted awesome. 

DM: Boot snob.

DT: Daymon scrambles to his feet, but the world champion is right there to pounce. Knee to the side of the head by Triple X … irish whip … and he plows Daymon to the ground with a shoulderblock! Stevens hits the ropes … BIG LEAPING ELBOW connects right to the sternum! The cover…

ONE…

And a half! Daymon’s out easily, but Sean Stevens has begun to assert control in this match.

DM: The champ, apparently, is here.

MN: Hey, infringing on registered trademarks is MY DEAL, Matthews! Poser.

DM: Tool.

DT: The challenger uses the ropes to pull himself up, but Stevens greets him with a big forearm right to the chest. Irish whip by the champion … leapfrog by Daymon, and he hits the ropes again … but this time runs straight into a beautiful dropkick, and the challenger tumbles to the oustide.

MN: Is it alright if I start using my list of Rocko Daymon bowling ball jokes now?

DT/DM: NO!

MN: I never get to have any fun.

DM: That’s the point, Neels.

DT: Rocko gains his bearings on the outside, but here comes Triple X. Suicide dive … FAKEOUT! Stevens bounced off the ropes, and Daymon’s got no idea what’s going on.

DM: In about two seconds, he will.

DT: Daymon turns around … baseball slide dropkick by the champ! Daymon goes crashing into the guardrails! 

DM: See, toldja.

DT: Stevens rolls to the ringside area to keep up the attack, and he just threw Rocko Daymon shoulder first into that guardrail once again! One more time, and he might break that fencing wide open!

MN: Please let that happen. I wanna see random geeks try and rush the ring.

DT: Triple X rolls the challenger back into the ring, but he’s not letting up. He takes measure … and drops the knee right on the back! Sean Stevens has started to absolutely dissect Rocko Daymon here, Dean.

DM: We’ve seen this side of Sean more and more since he became world champion. The man with a notorious reputation for risk taking has become cold, calculating and very, very effective.

MN: You are such a nerd.

DT: Stevens pulls Daymon to his feet … but not for long, as the champ brings him straight back down with a hard snap suplex! The champ floats over and hooks the leg…

ONE…

TWO…

But that’s all! Stevens can’t get any more than two as Rocko Daymon kicks out, but the champ spins right around and clamps on a tight chinlock.

MN: BOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRINNNNNGGGGGGGGG~!

DM: Um, Mikey?

MN: Yeeessh?

DM: Stevens is the guy you like.

MN: He is?

DT: Yeah, he is, Mike.

MN: Oh. GO BORING DUDE!

DT: Stevens is clamping down, trying to wear out the challenger and restrict his air flow, but Daymon is battling up. Elbows to the side of the head, but Trip just locks down even further! Daymon continues to struggle … he’s to his knees, but he can’t break the hold.

DM: This certainly won’t finish off Rocko, but he does need to get out of this hold if he wants to have enough stamina to last with a cardio machine like Sean Stevens.

DT: Rocko continuing to battle to his feet, and he’s finally reached a vertical base! He’s throwing elbows right to Sean’s gut, but the world champ has that hold locked down tight.

MN: Okay, seriously, how does somebody have this kind of grip? Did he buy extra Stick ‘Em or something?

DT: Rocko struggling out … drops down with a jawbreaker to break free! Stevens tumbles into the ropes … slingshots himself off and absolutely CRUSHES Rocko Daymon with a lariat! Now Stevens scrambles to the second rope … takes flight and connects with a guillotine legdrop! The pin…


ONE…


TWO…


NO!!! Rocko Daymon has taken quite a beating in the early portions of this matchup, but he’s not going to give in yet.

MN: Dude. It was a LEG. DROP.

DT: Stevens trying to keep up with the assault. He pulls Daymon up … front facelock, but Daymon reacts on pure instinct and rams him straight into the corner! Stevens wobbles out of the corner, BIG BACK BODY DROP! Rocko tossed him high in the air and Sean Stevens landed flat on his back!

DM: Rocko absolutely needed that right there, because if Sean Stevens kept chopping him down, Rocko Daymon’s long-awaited World Title shot could be very short.

DT: The challenger waits for Triple X to get to his feet, and Rocko greets him with a hard kick to the leg! Irish whip by Daymon … and he catches the champion with a quick swinging neckbreaker! He pulls Stevens to his feet … double underhook, into the butterfly suplex!!!! Daymon rolls over and hooks the leg…

ONE…

TWO…

Kickout by Stevens! The champion tries to roll away, but Rocko’s right on him!

MN: Doesn’t matter how many times you say that, Davey, it still sounds gay.

DT: Daymon hooks the head and the leg … Fisherman’s Suplex – no! Stevens slipped behind, hooks the waist … HYYOOOOGEEEE RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX BY THE CHAMP!!!! Rocko Daymon landed right on the back of his head and neck! Stevens scrambles across for the pin…


ONNNNNNEEEEE…



TWOOOOOOOOO…


NOOOO!!!! Daymon rolls the shoulder off the mat at the last moment and stays alive! 

DM: Sean Stevens is going to have to pull out every trick in the book if he wants to put Rocko Daymon down for good. 

MN: Or he could just kick him in the head really hard and have it be over in like five seconds. I’d take option B.

DT: Daymon pulls himself up, throws a few forearms, but Stevens swats them all away … and slaps the challenger right across the face! And again! One more time!

MN: YOU GOT ***** SLAPPED! **clap clap clapclapclap** YOU GOT ***** SLAPPED!

DM: Exactly how has nobody whacked you upside the head with a steel pipe yet?

MN: I’m lovable, Deano. It’s just my way.

DT: Rocko is incensed, and he’s swinging wildly, but Stevens is dodging them all! The champ’s slaps may have gotten inside the head of the challenger! Big swing by Daymon – and a miss! Daymon turns around … straight into a big European uppercut! And another! Irish whip by Stevens … into the big belly to belly suplex, and Daymon rolls outside once again!

MN: Is the damn ring greased or something? This idiot keeps sliding out to the floor. He must have ball bearings in his tights or something.

DM: Bad mental image, Neels. Bad mental image.

DT: Stevens rolls to the outside, grabs Daymon, and he just rammed the challenger’s back straight into the hard edge of our announce position! And another! Now he sets for the charge … OH MY!!!

MN: Ummm … ouchie?

DM: Yes, Neely. Ouchie.

DT: Rocko Daymon moved at the last minute, and Sean Stevens basically speared the side of our broadcast position! Daymon rolls inside to break the count, but he’s back out and he’s going to work on Sean Stevens on the outside. He pulls the champ to his feet … and whips him straight into the post!

MN: Apparently it’s the top of the hour, because that thing just sounded the loudest gong I’ve ever heard!

DT: Daymon still on the hunt. He’s moving around those mats on the outside and exposing the concrete! Rocko Daymon’s going to try and put an end to Sean Stevens’ title reign right here on the concrete floor!

DM: Well, he would still need to get him back in the ring, Dave.

MN: Even I knew that, Captain Obvious.

DT: Rocko hooks the head … he’s calling for the brainbuster on the damn concrete! He brings Stevens up … the champ slips away at the last moment and shoves Rocko head first into the ring post!!! 

MN: Ouchie. Big ouchie.

DM: You are just so erudite and wordy, Neely.

DT: Rocko’s staggering out of the corner … Stevens hooks him … OHHHHHHHHHHH DEEAARRRR GAAAAAWWWDDDD!!!!! Sean Stevens just gave Rocko Daymon an inverted DDT on the exposed concrete floor! Rocko Daymon’s got to be out cold, but this isn’t good enough for Sean Stevens! What the hell is this guy doing?

MN: He just spilled my Coke, that’s what he did!

DT: Stevens has stripped our desk, and he SLAMS Daymon right down onto the surface! Pat Jones’ count has reached eight, but Stevens rolls back in the ring and he heads up top!

DM: This is bad, this is very, very bad for Rocko Daymon.

MN: This is going to ROOOL! By the way, I’m getting the hell out of Dodge. Broken bits of particle board aren’t recommended by my dermatologist.

DM: You have a dermatologist?

MN: Sure! Gotta keep up my girlish good looks, right?

DM: Yeeeeeah.

DT: Guys? Title match? Guy on table? Scary thing about to happen?

MN: Point taken. RUUUUUUNNNNNN!!!!

DT: Stevens is on top, ready to fly – but here comes Caitlyn Daymon! She’s imploring Triple X not to do it, but he just shoves her away!

DM: Umm, he probably shouldn’t do that.

MN: Dude, have you SEEN Caitlyn Daymon for the last year?

DT: Stevens takes aim … he FLIEEESSSSS 


…



…



CROWD: HOLY $#@&! HOLY $#@&!!!!

DT: Sean Stevens tried a full twisting shooting star press, but Rocko Daymon rolled away at the last second and the World Champion absolutely SPLATTED against our announce desk! 

DM: OH. MY. GOD. 

[CUT TO: Slo-Mo replay. Stevens takes off, but just as he rotates to come down, Daymon rolls off the desk and Stevens slams through it, causing the wood to immediately shatter and sending the champion crashing to the ground. The camera cuts back to a live shot, and both men, barely moving, are beginning to show cuts on their faces that will soon leak blood.]

DT: Dear god, can either of these men make it back into the ring!

PJ: ONNNNNEEEEE!!!!


TWOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!


FOUUUUUUUURRRRRR!!!!!!


FIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVEEEE!!!!


SIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXX!!!!!!


DT: For the love of God, Rocko Daymon is getting up, and he’s rolling Sean Stevens into the ring! Can he make it!


PJ: SEEEEEEEEEVVVVVEEENNNNN!!!!!!


EEEEEEEIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGHHTTTTT!!!!


NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEE!!!!


DT: Yes! They’re back in the ring! Rocko Daymon rolled Sean Stevens underneath the bottom rope at the last moment and saved his shot at the world title! He rolls over for the cover…


ONE…



TWO…



NOOOO!!!! Out of desperation, out of complete instinct, Triple X rolled his left shoulder off the mat at the absolute last second!

MN: This guy is seriously not human. He is Mecha-Stevens, champion of the universe.

DM: Or he’s just really, really tough, Neely.

MN: Mine is better.

DT: Daymon pulls himself up, grabs Stevens … he’s gonna lock in the Tacoma Cloverleaf!

MN: Still don’t know what kind of cloverleaf grows in Tacoma.

DT: Rocko hooks the legs … Stevens cradles him down! Rocko’s shoulders are on the mat…


ONE…



TWO…


THRRRNOOOO!!! Daymon broke Stevens’ small package at the last possible instant!

MN: Why the hell are you so obsessed with Trip’s small package?

DT: Daymon rolls up to his knees … OH! Sean Stevens kicked him right in the face! Rocko Daymon just got knocked into La La Land … and Stevens spikes him straight to the mat with an implant DDT!

MN: What? He didn’t DDT Caitlyn!

DT: Rocko is dazed right now, Stevens hooks the leg…

ONE…

TWO…

THREEE!! NO! Rocko got his foot on the ropes and he is still going in this one!

DM: We haven’t yet reached the 15 minute mark, Dave, but these two men are absolutely SLAUGHTERING each other in this match. Where won’t Rocko Daymon and Triple X go in order to claim the EPW World Championship?

MN: The bus.

DM: What?

MN: I don’t think they’ll go on the bus. Have you ever been on a bus here in Houston? Not something you want to experience in your life. Ever.

DT: The challenger is barely to his feet, and the champ is measuring him up! He might be looking to put this one to rest with that X-Factor superkick!

MN: See, I told you kicking him in the head would work!

DT: Rocko to his feet. He turns around … SUPERKIIIIIIIIIICCKKKK – NOOOO!!! Daymon rolled underneath and Trip JUST missed! The champ turns around … straight into a spinning backfist from Daymon! Sean Stevens is stunned! Daymon drives a boot into the gut … standing headscissors …


…



POWERBOOOOOOMBBBB!!!! And he holds Stevens down for the pin!



ONE…


TWO…


THRRRRNOOOO!!!! Stevens presses his shoulders off the mat … but Daymon flows through straight into the Tacoma Cloverleaf! He’s got it locked in dead in the middle of the canvas! Could this be the moment for Rocko Daymon?

MN: Uhhhhh … dunno?

DM: Wow, Neels. Really going out on a limb there.

MN: It’s what I pride myself on, Deano.

DT: Rocko’s got that Cloverleaf hold cinched in tight! He is arching back, putting all that pressure on the legs and lower back of the world heavyweight champion, and I don’t know if Sean Stevens can withstand any more of this!

DM: Rocko Daymon has perfected this hold over a long, long wrestling career, Dave. He knows how to absolutely torture a man’s back with this hold to the point that he doesn’t want to get out of bed for a week.

MN: Hey, if I had to deal with Caitlyn, I wouldn’t want to get out of –

DM: Cram it, Neely. She’d whip your ass.

MN: And I’d love every, single minute of it.

DT: Sean Stevens is howling in pain, ladies and gentlemen! He is crawling, inch by inch, slowly towards the ropes, trying to break this hold, but I don’t know how much longer he’s going to be able to hold on without tapping! Pat Jones is asking Stevens if he wants to give up, but the world champ is saying, in not so many words, that he wants no part of that!

MN: I think I just heard him, Davey, and I didn’t think you could do that to a camel!

DM: And that’s a really, really bad thing to call our senior official’s mother.

MN: And, what kind of pudding? I need to right this stuff down, Deano. It’s gold, Matthews, GOLD!!!

DT: Stevens has been in this hold for more than two and a half minutes now, and I don’t know if he can hold on any longer! Triple X lunges for the ropes, but Daymon pulls him back! He’s still got the Tacoma Cloverleaf locked in right in the middle of the ring, and he’s clamping as tight as he can!

MN: I need a massage after watching this.

DM: Because of the back pain?

MN: Yeeeeeeaaaah. Back pain. That’ll do it.

DT: Stevens crawling on his elbows to reach the ropes … almost there … almost there … NOOO!!! Daymon pulls away once again! My god, how long can a man stand this kind of pain?

DM: I’ll be the first to say that I was as good as anyone inside the ring, Dave, but I would’ve been out several minutes ago just to avoid future damage to my career. But, that’s the value of the world title. Sean Stevens went through hell to get it, and he’ll go through hell to keep it.

DT: Sean Stevens is getting close to the ropes, but he’s getting close to tapping!!! This is going to be it!!! Stevens is going to tap! He --- what the HELL?

DM: Damnit, not this psycho again!

DT: Stalker has just burst through the crowd, and he grabbed Sean Stevens’ hand just before it slapped the mat! He’s pulling, and damnit, Stalker just placed Steven’s hand on the bottom rope, and this unholy alliance of Sean Stevens and Stalker has saved the world title for the moment.

MN: Woohoo! EVIL DEMENTED WEIRDOS SAVE THE DAY!

DM: And this evil demented weirdo has a pissed off woman on his tail!

DT: Here comes Caitlyn! She pulls Stalker off the mat and she is getting her claws into him! She is taking out all her frustration on the man who has made it his mission to stop her husband from winning the EPW championship, and we’ve got security out here to keep these two apart!

DM: Hell hath no fury, dudes.

[Stalker and Caitlyn Daymon, both with incensed looks on their faces, are separated to other sides of the ring with several security personnel holding them back until they calm down. In the ring, Daymon is exhausted from expending so much energy in performing the submission, while Stevens is holding his back as he crawls to his feet.]

DT: Back in the ring, Stevens is finally up, but here comes Daymon! He scoops him up … hooks him for a tombstone piledriver – TRIPLE X REVERSES!!!! The World Champion somehow managed to shift his weight and he’s got the challenger set up … and he SPIKES him into the mat with the tombstone! He falls onto Rocko for the cover!



ONE…




TWOOOOOOOO…




THREEEEE!!!! NO! NO!!! Pat Jones saw Rocko’s foot on the ropes and the count is broken! Dear Lord, I thought Rocko Daymon was done, but he was close enough to the ropes to force the break!

DM: Wow, I’ve got no idea whatsoever how Rocko Daymon had enough left in the tank and was aware enough to put his foot on the bottom rope.

MN: He’s a cyborg, Deano. He used his Rope Homing Device located within his neural net to track down the nearest available wrestling-based cable.

DM: You are a giant, giant dork. But, I really, really want whatever you’re on, dude.

DT: Stevens and Daymon are both exhausted, but they are still fighting, folks. The champion pulls the challenger to his feet, and blisters him with a nasty chop right across the chest! Irish whip by Triple X … SAMOAN DRIVER!!! And the champ is headed up top!!!

DM: If I were him, I wouldn’t be doing this so soon after crashing through a table.

MN: If you were him, we’d be in some bizaree mirror universe where up is down and monkeys are leopards.

DT: Stevens takes flight … PHOENIX SPLASH!!! Corkscrew 450 Splash connected beautifully, and Stevens crawls over for the pin…



ONEEEEE…



TWOOOOO….



THRRRRNOOOOO!!!! TWO POINT NINE!!! Rocko Daymon got his shoulder off the mat at the very last second before Sean Stevens retained the world title. These two men are going to absolutely INCREDIBLE lengths to put each other away!

MN: I’m scared, Deano. The robots are taking over.

DM: Good for you. Wanna cookie?

MN: HELLS YES~!

DT: The champ brings Daymon up to his knees … hits the ropes … Shining Wizard! He turned Daymon’s head inside out! And he’s signaling that it’s time to put this thing to an end!

DM: He won the world title with that X-Terminator, and if he hits his version of that Osaka Street Cutter this time, this one is over.

DT: He’s got him WAAAAAY UP … Daymon slips out! The challenger slides behind … side Russian legsweep! He holds on, rolls through … and hits another! He pulls Stevens to his feet … and he flips the bird right at Stalker … and he drops him with the third legsweep! Float over for the pin…



ONEEEEEE…




TWOOOOOO…




NOOOOO!!!! Sean Stevens gets the shoulder up! He tries to pull himself up, but Rocko rolls through with a neckbreaker! The challenger brings up the champ, whips him into the corner and he’s charging up the engines on the opposite side!

MN: This move still has the coolest frikking name in history.

DT: Rocko’s revving up … PHANTOM TRAAAAIINNN!!! Running back splash in the corner! Stevens wobbles out … SMALL PACKAGE DRIVER!! This one has to be over!



ONE…



TWO…



THREEEEEEE!!! NO!!! NO!!! Hold the phone, Sean Stevens kicked out one more time, and I can not believe it!

DM: Sweet heavenly Lord, maybe these two are robots.

MN: See, I was right all along.

DM: I hate you.

DT: So do I.

MN: That’s why I make the big bucks, Dawgz.

DT: Daymon pulls Stevens up … double underhook … it might be time for the Brain Rocker! He’s got him hooked … NO! Stevens escaped with a low blow, but I don’t think Pat Jones saw it! Caitlyn Daymon is on the apron SCREAMING at Jones!

DM: If I were Caitlyn, I wouldn’t want him disqualified, seeing as that might eliminate any chance of her husband winning the world title.

DT: Rocko is stumbling on the other side of the ring and – DAMNIT NO!! Stalker’s got the world title, and he BLASTS Daymon with it! Daymon is dazed on his feet, he turns around … STRAIGHT INTO AN X-FACTOR!!!! Sean Stevens nailed the superkick, security has pulled Caitlyn Daymon off the apron, and Triple X might have just ended this one! The pin…




ONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…




TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...




THRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I DO NOT BELIEVE IT! Rocko Daymon, after taking a belt shot from That Damn Stalker and a superkick from Sean Stevens is somehow, someway still in this match.

MN: He’s a robot, dudes. A fu—

DT: FAMILY SHOW!!!

MN: FULBRIGHT SCHOLAR ROBOT!

DM: Not buying it, Mikey.

DT: Stevens can not believe that didn’t end it, and he is absolutely INCENSED! He’s laying into Daymon with kicks, punches, hard elbows! Daymon shoves him away … Stevens off the ropes … RRRRRRROOOOOOAAAARRRRRIIIIINNNGGG ELLLLBBBOOOOWWW!!!!!

MN: Wow. THAT was overexaggerated.

DM: Seriously, Dave. You need to calm down a little, man.

DT: Stevens hooks Daymon for the X-Terminator – Daymon counters again! Rolls through with an inside cradle…

Stevens is too close to the ropes! Daymon spins to his feet … turns right into a Northern Lights Suplex from the champion…


But Daymon is too close to the ropes!!! How the hell do these guys keep doing this?

MN: WHY DOES NOBODY LISTEN TO ME ABOUT THE ROBOTS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

DM: Because you’re the world’s biggest moron.

DT: Daymon rolls to his feet … Superkick by Stevens – Daymon catches his foot! Turns him around … BRAIN ROCKER … NO!!! Stevens bridges over! He’s got Daymon’s shoulders on the mat…


ONE…


TWO…


THRRRRRRRNOOO!!!! Daymon shoots the shoulder off the mat! And Stevens is SWEARING to Pat Jones that it should have been three! And – no! Not again, he’s giving Stalker the chance to come up from behind with the belt!

DM: Here it comes!

DT: Rocko turns around…



SFX: CRRRRAAAAAACCCCKKKKKKK!!!!



DT: Caitlyn Daymon nailed Stalker with a chair before he could hit Daymon with the belt, and Stalker just slumped off the apron! Stevens turns around … SPEAR FROM DAY—NO!!! Nobody home, and Daymon rammed shoulder first into the ringpost! Stevens grabs him, and puts him on top!

DM: If he tries this, he might not just beat Rocko Daymon, he might end Daymon’s career.

DT: He’s up top, but Rocko’s fighting back! Punches, forearms, elbows between these two men! They are waging an EPIC BATTLE on the top rope here! Daymon with a forearm … blocked!!! Big right from Triple X, and he’s got the head hooked! X-TERMINAAA – NOOOO!!! Daymon shoved him off! Stevens back up top – big kick to the gut by Rocko!!! Double underhook….

YESSSSSS!!!!

BRAIN ROCKER FROM THE TOP!!!! Can he do it! Is it Rocko Daymon’s time? 

MN: ROBOT REVOLUTION~!

DM: Holy hell, what a move!

DT: He collapses on Stevens for the cover…



ONNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!





TWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!




THRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! YES!!!! YES!!!! Somehow, someway, Rocko Daymon has done it! 

[SFX: Bell rings, Crowd EXPLODES!!!!]

[CUE UP: “Death is the Communion]

DM: Unbelievable!

MN: Holy crap, what a match!

DT: Rocko Daymon’s career long odyssey is complete here at Black Dawn! He went through hell, and finally, he outlasted Sean Stevens in an all-time EPW classic to be crowned EPW World Heavyweight Champion! Ladies and gentlemen, tonight you have witnessed the coronation of Rocko Daymon!

[CUT TO: Pat Jones in the middle of the ring, handing the World Title to a tired, bloody, nearly weeping Rocko Daymon, who is being held up by his smiling wife.]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match…

AAAAAAAAANNNNDD NEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWW Empire Pro Wrestling Heavyweight Champion of the World … RRRRRROOOOOOCCKKKKOOOOOOO DAAAAAAAYYYYMOOOONNNNNNNNN!!!!!!

DT: What an unbelievable night here at Black Dawn, capped by one of the most incredible battles we have ever seen in the four-plus year history of this great company! Rocko Daymon has etched his name forever into wrestling history tonight, becoming the sixth person to hold the greatest title in wrestling today! The journey is complete, but you can be sure that Sean Stevens won’t take the loss of his title lightly. For now, however, it is a night for Rocko Daymon to celebrate the greatest day of his wrestling career. For Mike Neely and Dean Matthews, I’m Dave Thomas signing off from EPW Black Dawn at Reliant Stadium in Houston. We leave you with our new Heavyweight Champion of the World, Rocko Daymon. Good night everyone, and we’ll see you on Aggression!

[The camera pans back to show Rocko Daymon standing on the top turnbuckle, holding the title belt high as fireworks go off throughout the arena and the crowd cheers wildly. The shot cuts to an tired Sean Stevens, who holds his head down and walks to the back, before cutting back to Daymon’s celebration. The shot holds for a while, with the crowd providing the rhythm to “Death is the Communio” before we…

FADE TO THE EPW COPYRIGHT.]


FIN