TF: The following contest is set for one fall, and is to decide the Number One Contender to the Empire Pro Wrestling INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP!!

Crowd: *pop*

TF: Introducing first…

[CUE UP: "More Human Than Human" by White Zombie. Anarky steps out to a chorus of boos, but he ignores them as he walks with calm determination towards the ring]

TF: Weighing two hundred and thirty one pounds, he hails from Hartford, Connecticut, 

ANARKY!!

MN: My pick. Abandon HOPE all ye who challenge Anarky!

DT: I still can’t believe what we heard earlier between Anarky and The First. I thought HOPE was going to save EPW from Anthology’s dominance. 

MN: Don’t be daft, Burgerman. 

DM: I don’t think Anarky really cares about what he did but you know with Layne Winter’s temper and how unpredictable First’s been recently, anything could happen. Anarky might want to watch his back.

TF: And his opponent…

[CUE UP: “Wherever I May Roam” by Metallica. The crowd pop huge as Fusenshoff makes his way from behind the curtain, his eyes fixed on Anarky in the middle of the ring]

TF: Hailing from Kamloops, British Columbia in Canada, he weighs two hundred and sixty three pounds and is a former Empire Pro Wrestling Television Champion…

FUSENSHOFF!!

DT: It’s been a long time coming but Fusenshoff gets another chance to earn the right to face the Intercontinental Championship.

MN: Why? Didn’t he lose last time out?

DT: He and Michael Bastard may have lost to the Heirs of Wrestling, but Fusenshoff did damn well in the five way match to determine the number one contender, even surviving effectively a handicap match to narrowly miss out, and he beat the longest reigning Intercontinental Champion in Las Vegas, cleanly. I think he’s got what it takes to be a fine champion. 

MN: If he can get past Anarky, which won’t happen. 

[SFX: opening bell]

DT: Anarky and Fusenshoff in the middle of the ring, circling each other.

DM: There’s a lot at stake so I’d expect a bit of caution early on, but with Anarky you never know.

DT: Both men, collar and elbow in the centre of the ring, Fusenshoff with the weight advantage putting it to good use, but Anarky digs in his heels and throws Fuse back.

DM: Fuse may be bigger and stronger, but Anarky has experience. Plus a lower centre of gravity. He’s smart, for all his brawling. 

DT: Fuse and Anarky back in a collar and elbow, Anarky with a knee to the gut. Right hand from Anarky, Irish whip, Fuse ducks under the wild clothesline, ducks another, SPEAR! Fusenshoff with a spear, and he’s raining right hands on Anarky, the former HOPE member didn’t count on this!

DM: Fusenshoff bringing Anarky back to his feet, getting an earful from the referee. He hooks Anarky, nice snap suplex.

DT: One!

Two!

Kickout from Anarky, but Fuse bringing him quick to his feet with a side headlock, but look at Anarky going straight with shots to the kidneys.

DM: He pushes Fuse off using the ropes and takes him down with a clothesline. 

DT: Fuse rolls away as Anarky tries an elbow drop. Fuse with a forearm to the head as Anarky tries to get to his feet, Irish whip – and a big powerslam!

One!

Two!

MN: Way too early. Easy kickout by the ‘Narkster.

DT: Fuse definitely trying to bring this match to a swift end, a right to the temple of Anarky. Has him back to his feet, hooks the head - big vertical suplex! He brings Anarky back to his feet, side slam. Into the cover

One!

Two!

Another kickout. 

DM: A nice string of offence early on but Anarky can take a lot of punishment.

DT: Fuse with the Irish whip far corner, charges in, Anarky side steps, Fuse puts on the breaks and an explosive powerslam of his own as Fuse turned around! 

DM: Never write Anarky off. He’s got some of the most explosive strength you will ever see.

DT: But he’s not going for the cover, instead raining right hands down on Fuse.

MN: He has no HOOOOOOOPE!

DT: Who?

MN: Both men. 

DT: Anarky with Fuse by the throat, lifting him to his feet, scoop and a slam.

One.

Kickout by Fuse.

DM: Anarky isn’t letting up. An elbow to the top of the head, hooks Fuse – back suplex, but Fuse kicks out of the cover again. 

MN: Is it just me or is this match pretty slow so far?

DT: There’s a lot on the line, Mike, it’s not going to be all flippy and flashy. 

MN: Boo!

DT: Anarky bringing Fuse back to his feet, rocks him with a right hand, but Fuse with a knee lift! Forearm uppercut, forces him back to the ropes with a kick to the gut, and a BIG clothesline sends Anarky to the outside!

DM: I don’t know how smart it is to let Anarky outside. He’s proficient with almost everything out there. 

DT: Anarky quickly back to his feet, grabs Fuse by the ankle and drags him outside. Right hand by Anarky, Fuse fires back, knee lift by Anarky and he shoves Fuse back into the barrier!

MN: It’s breaking down. Thumb to the eye by ‘Nark, smashes Fuse’s face off the steel, and drives him back against the ring post. Nice.

DM: Anarky throwing Fuse back into the ring, and a targeted knee to the small of the back. 

DT: It’s been back and forth action in the early going, Fuse kicking out again at the one count. 

DM: Anarky grabbing the leg of Fuse, and a headbutt? To the side of the knee?

DT: It’s a weird move.

DM: I’ll say, but then again, Anarky isn’t a typical technician. And he’s got a hard head. 

MN: I know. It took him long enough to dump HOPE like the crap-fest they are. 

DT: Anarky slowing the pace down again, targeting the knee of Fusenshoff. Kicks on the side of the knee from Anarky, and he is really going to town there. 

DM: Anarky throwing the knee into the canvas. 

DT: And another knee to the back. 

MN: All over. Anarky wins, let’s just move on with the show.

DT: Anarky with the cover, but Fuse quickly kicks out again. Anarky bringing Fuse back up to his feet, slugs him with a right. He’s got him backed up against the ropes, kick to the gut, and a big swinging neckbreaker on the former TV champ!

DM: It’s only been a couple of minutes but Anarky really is starting to pull away.

DT: He’s not trying the cover though, instead throwing Fuse through the ropes. Anarky following him, clubbing axe handle to the back and a headbutt to the kidneys. 

MN: I’m definitely liking the new attitude he’s got. HOPEless.

DT: How long do we have to put up with these jokes?

MN: Oh, quite a while.

DT: Sigh. Anarky with another right hand to Fuse, hooks the head, could be a DDT – but Fuse blocks it! Fuse holding on to the barricade, Anarky spotted it and rattles him with another clubbing blow, but Fuse with a shot to the abdomen. Anarky not fazed, right hand to the face, Fuse fires back with one of his own. Anarky, Fuse, Anarky – blocked! Fuse with a flurry of right hands!

DM: They’ve got to be careful about the count.

DT: Fusenshoff with a knee to the gut, grabs Anarky and hurls him shoulder first into the barricade!

DM: The count! It’s eight!

DT: Fuse must’ve heard you. I thought that count was a little quick but Fusenshoff breaks it. Back outside, Anarky’s back to his feet but Fuse with a kick to the gut and another to the face, and an atomic drop on the outside.

DM: Hooking the head, and a very nice bulldog on that thin padding.

MN: Dean, I’ve been meaning to ask for years – does the outside really hurt more than the ring?

DM: There’s a bit more padding on the outside but it’s going straight onto the floor, usually cement. So, yes, the outside does hurt more, it’s one of the reasons for my knees being so bad.

DT: Fuse again interrupting the count, hooks Anarky’s head – hard side Russian legsweep! 

MN: Ouch! Did you see ‘Nark’s head snap off the floor?

DM: Fusenshoff dragging Anarky back to his feet, rolls him back inside. Anarky holding his head, Fuse comes in and an elbow from the second rope.

DT: One.

Two!

Kickout by Anarky. Fusenshoff fighting back and seizing control with authority.

MN: He won’t keep it.

DT: I don’t know, Mike. Fuse grabbing Anarky, backbreaker. Turns Anarky over, and into a camel clutch, but Anarky fights out quickly with elbows to the jaw.

DM: But Fuse does the right thing. Instead of trying to get away, jumps up and drops his weight on Anarky’s back.

DT: But he’s not going back to the camel clutch attempt. Instead, he’s got Anarky up, shoves him back into the corner, and a driven shoulder to the ribs. Bringing Anarky out of the corner with a snap-mare, a knee to the back, off the ropes – misses the big boot!

MN: Anarky rolling to the outside, smart man, smart man.

DT: He’s holding his back and ribs. Fusenshoff following him outside, Anarky spots him and he’s already back in the ring.

DM: And you see why he’s such a smart brawler. If that even makes sense.

DT: Fusenshoff cut off as he tried to get back in the ring, Anarky with a very quick boot to the face and he follows it up by smashing his knee into Fuse’s left knee, and a knee to the head.

DM: It’s been a high impact match so far. You kind of expected it with these two, but I’m surprised it’s not degenerated as much as I thought it would.

MN: What do you mean?

DM: I thought with these two it’d be hard for the ref to not throw it out. They really tore into each other in the build-up and both’re known for brawling.

DT: Anarky is also known for heavy hitting, and that’s what he’s doing with those mounted punches. The ref manages to get him to stop – or not!

DM: He’s always had a temper. 

DT: He’s running the risk of being disqualified! 

MN: No! Don’t get DQ’d you HOPEless moron!

DT: He’s finally stopped. I sometimes wonder if he uses his fists so much because he wants time to consider whether to use another wrestling move.

DM: Could be. He’s got Fusenshoff up, scoops him – backbreaker. Both men have attacked the other’s back and ribs, Anarky going after the knee too. 

DT: Especially with that nice switch from the backbreaker to a knee breaker. Cover

One

Two!

Kickout by Fuse.

MN: As if that’s gonna stop Anarky. Just gives him more excuses to hurt you., Loafy Two.

DT: What?

MN: His new nickname.

DT: Sigh. Anarky with Fuse backed up in the corner, connecting with elbows to the side of the head. Switches track, grabs the leg and stretches it round the second rope – oh come on!

MN: I love this HOPEless guy! Hammering away on the knee as he stretches it out.

DM: I’ll admit it’s a nice move, holding Fusenshoff’s ankle with his own leg so he can lean back and get a full punch in.

MN: Maybe I should call Fuse Loafy Junior? Lil’ Loafy?

DT: Anarky getting another earful from the ref, but he’s right back at the knee. Breaks the hold at the count of four. Look at him, he doesn’t care about the ref’s authority!

MN: Just because he told him it was a one count.

DT: Anarky moving back in, but Fuse with a left forearm! Anarky rocked, moves back in, another forearm! Anarky moves in a third time, Fuse with a fist to the ribs, elbow to the back, hooks the head – TORNADO DDT! TORNADO DDT!

DM: But he can’t go for the cover. 

DT: Anarky’s been hitting the knee hard, Fuse gets an arm over, into the cover

TWO!

Shoulder up by Anarky.

DM: Fusenshoff is holding the knee, but takes Anarky down with a shortarm clothesline. Brings him back up again, Irish whip – into the tilt-a-whirl slam!

DT: ONE!

TWO!!

No. No, I thought he had him. Fuse with Anarky by the hair, but Anarky shuts him down with a kick to the knee.

DM: Anarky takes Fusenshoff over with a vertical suplex.

DT: One!

TWO!

No! No. I thought he might have had it, Anarky hooked the stronger leg but Fuse able to kick out with his upper body strength.

MN: Strong body odor.

DM: You’re like Homer Simpson. You get dumber every time we’re on air.

MN: Yeah, well… your Mom!

DT: While the kids play, Anarky is trying to choke the life out of Fuse! He breaks it at four and a half, and kicks the former TV champ out of the ring.

MN: And yet the people boo him! He’s successful, talented, and showed he doesn’t need losers backing him up, and yet they boo.

DT: I don’t think anyone can dispute Anarky’s talent, but his methods and his attitude are atrocious. 

DM: And he doesn’t seem to care if the fans boo him either so your point’s moot, Mike. 

DT: Fusenshoff slow to get back to his feet as Anarky continues showboating in the middle of the ring – no, he’s seen Fuse. 

DM: Anarky with a grin on his lips, what’s he planning?

MN: HE’S SAFE!

DT: And he might have knocked out a few teeth! Anarky with a baseball slide, and Fuse went head first into the barricade. 

MN: That could cause brain damage. Except when Fuse is involved. He’s so pickled his brain’s already gone. 

DT: Anarky being admonished by the ref, but he’s ignoring it. Heading outside, this is where Anarky is most dangerous. He’s stalking Fuse – and he clips the knee!

DM: Fusenshoff’s a big man, a strong man, so this is a good idea. 

DT: Anarky stomping away on the knee, and drives it into the arena floor. Picking up Fuse, his knee’s gotta be hurting. Anarky rolls him back inside, the cover

One!

Two!

Shoulder up by Fusenshoff. Anarky doesn’t look all that upset by that. 

MN: He wants to prove that Fuse is all talk, just like most everyone else Anarky’s beaten. And he enjoys hurting people. He’s cool like that. 

DT: Anarky hooking Fusenshoff by the head, fisherman’s suplex blocked! Anarky with a shot to the back, tries for a fisherman’s but it’s blocked again! Anarky, Irish whip far side, Fuse ducks the clothesline, flying shoulder tackle! Anarky is down, Fusenshoff’s not able to capitalize. 

DM: Anarky’s the first to his feet, but Fuse with a headbutt to the ribs, shot to the jaw – Anarky with a thumb to the eye. 

DT: Anarky pushing Fusenshoff to the ropes. Irish whip, reversed, UP and over but Anarky lands on his feet!

MN: Right hand by Anarky, no!

DT: Fusenshoff with a forearm smash, and Anarky off the apron into the barricade. Fuse by the HOLY COW!!

DM: I thought it’d take something big to turn the tide. 

DT: Fusenshoff with a rope-assisted dive onto Anarky, and both men spill into the crowd!

MN: That was stupid!

DT: The ref quickly over to check on both men, security are clearing some space to keep the fans safe. Anarky somehow caught Fusenshoff but he couldn’t keep his balance and they… toppled into the crowd.

DM: I don’t even want to guess who came off worse there. Fuse may have hurt his knee on the landing, but Anarky went back first into the barricade and almost bent in two, it’s the same thing which ultimately caused Rick Rude to retire from the ring.

DT: Well, Fuse is certainly moving first, forcing his way past the ref and nailing Anarky with a right hand. He climbs over the barricade, bringing Anarky with him, back suplex on the back of the neck on the floor. 

DM: I think whichever of these men goes for the Intercontinental Championship is in for a lot of pain, Anarky has taken apart Fuse’s knee with a lot of high impact blows but his back might be gone. 

DT: Anarky trying to crawl to his feet, Fuse follows him – thumb to the eye from Anarky as Fuse tried to pick him up. Irish whip, but Fuse reverses and it’s Anarky back first into the steel steps!

DM: And Fusenshoff following it up with a suplex on the floor. A lot of offence, targeting the back. 

DT: Fusenshoff dragging Anarky to his feet, he throws him into the ring. Following him back in, drops the knee!

One!

TWO!

Kickout by Anarky, that had to hurt as he twisted his back to get the shoulder up. 

DM: No doubt. 

DT: Fusenshoff with Anarky, slams him down by the corner. Climbs the ropes, pumps a fist to the fans – SPLASH from the second rope!

One!

TWO!!

THRE NO! Kickout, barely, by Anarky there! Two quick kickouts just have to hurt. 

MN: And now what’s that drunkard doing? 

DT: Fusenshoff bringing Anarky to his feet, he’s signaling for The Domination! Standing headscissors, lifts him up

DM: But Anarky with thunderous right hands as he’s on Fuse’s shoulders! 

MN: And his knee’s given out! Ha!

DT: Anarky lands on Fuse, and finally lets up with those fists by using the point of his elbow. Slowly brings Fusenshoff to his feet, Irish whip into the corner. Anarky holding his back, stomps the knee of Fuse. He sets Fuse up on the top rope, his back’s straining you can see. Hooks the head, but Fuse blocks the superplex attempt! Anarky with a clubbing blow to the back, Fuse won’t let go of the rope!

DM: Anarky hammering away at the jaw of Fuse, but Fuse blocks! Fusenshoff with a right hand of his own, and shoves Anarky away!

MN: But Anarky lands on his feet.

DT: Fusenshoff trying to get to the top rope, Anarky dives in – crotches him!

MN: No little Drunkard Loafies running around any time soon. 

DT: Anarky back to the second rope with Fuse, hooks the head, the fans on their feet – he flips him off?

DM: Anarky yelling something at Fusenshoff

DT: Anarky telling him it’s over, HURRICANRANA BLOCKED!! FUSENSHOFF WITH A POWERBOMB OUT OF THE CORNER AS ANARKY WENT FOR A HIGH RISK MOVE!

MN: YOU IDIOT!!

DT: Anarky landed hard, Hoff though not able to make the cover.

DM: I think he twisted his knee as he landed the powerbomb. 

MN: Thank the Gods!

DT: Anarky is out in the middle of the ring, Fusenshoff trying to sort his knee out, he’s hurting, trying to use the ropes to stand. 

DM: Anarky isn’t moving, Fusenshoff realizes it. The cover.

DT: One!!

TWO!!!

THREE

NO!! No no no no no! How on Earth did he kickout of that, I thought he was done. 

DM: Fusenshoff couldn’t get the cover done quickly enough or properly, his knee’s bothering him too much. 

DT: This has been a high impact match, the fans are deflated after Anarky kicked out. Fusenshoff with Anarky by the hair, Irish whip into the corner. The Hoff follows him as slowly, he’s limping pretty badly, but a right hand to the jaw. Snap mare out of the corner, elbow drop.

One!

TWO!

Kickout again by Anarky! Fuse looks dejected in there, he’s in a real fight, look at the bruises showing on his face. 

DM: He’s heading back to the corner, this might not be such a good idea. Slowly climbs to the second rope – yup, Anarky’s caught him. I thought he would.

DT: Anarky was just a bit quicker there, and manages to hit a couple of boots to the injured knee of Fusenshoff. Fuse sitting on the top rope, Anarky brings him back down – and he’s biting him!!

MN: All’s fair in love and war.

DT: This is neither, Mike, there are rules against biting here!

MN: Maybe he’s gotten hungry? He’s been out here a while now.

DT: Anarky spits in the face of Fusenshoff, hooks the head – CHAOS BREAKER!! CHAOS BREAKER! 

MN: HA!! ANARKY WINS AGAIN!!

DT: The cover, doesn’t hook the leg

One!!

TWO!!

THREE!! THREE!! DAMN!!

DM: Look again.

MN: NO!!

DT: YES! Fusenshoff with his foot on the bottom rope! How on earth did he manage that?!

DM: You weren’t watching, were you? 

DT: Anarky is furious!

DM: He should be. If he’d hit that move a few inches further into the ring, it’d be over, but Fusenshoff on instinct knew where the ropes were. 

DT: Anarky is berating the ref, but there was nothing wrong with the count. The ref explaining he saw the foot on the rope as he made the three, the count stands at two. 

DM: Anarky better be careful here, he’s right in the ref’s face.

DT: He’s forced the ref back into the corner! The ref trying to tell him it was two, two. Anarky raising his fist at the ref

ONE!!

TWO!!

THRENO!! Fusenshoff almost stole it with a schoolboy , I think he’d’ve had it if it weren’t for the ref still backing away from Anarky when he scored with the roll up!

DM: Anarky back to his feet quickly, lunges at Fuse who side steps, hooks the waist…

DT: GERMAN SUPLEX!

ONE!!

TWO!!!

THREEEEENO!!!! No!! Anarky this time using the ropes, got a hand out to them!

MN: Phew!

DT: Fusenshoff looking to press his advantage. He’s calling for Domination!

DM: Can his knee sustain it?

DT: Standing headscissors, goes no, back reversal!

ONE!

TWO!!

Oh! So close! Anarky with a bridging pin attempt! Right hand by Anarky, knee to the gut, small package

TWO!

Kickout by Fuse again!

MN: Don’t lose your cool, champ-to-be, you’ve got him.

DT: Anarky is beside himself, he’s thrown almost everything he has at Fusenshoff and it hasn’t paid off. Not even the Chaos Breaker could keep Fusenshoff down! He’s got him up again, going for the Chaos Breaker, Fuse fights out, kick to the gut, WHISKEY BOMB BLOCKED! Anarky moves out of the way, hooks the head, suplex NO! Fuse with a reverse DDT!

ONE!!!

TWO!!!!

THRNO!! Hell no say Anarky! After all the punishment these two have thrown at each other it is STILL not over!

DM: Fuse rolling to the ropes, he’s trying to get to his feet, his knee is probably screaming at him. 

DT: He’s carefully putting his weight on that injured leg. Moves back towards Anarky, Anarky with a thumb to the eye, hooks the head, PILEDRIVER!! 

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO! NO!! FUSENSHOFF STILL KICKS OUT!!

MN: JUST DIE DAMMIT!!

DT: Fusenshoff will not die!

DM: But Anarky won’t quit either. 

DT: Anarky bringing Fusenshoff back to his feet, kicks out the knee. Forearm to the back of the head, off the ropes – running lariat!!

One!!

Two!!

And another close call, another narrow escape!!

MN: This has got to end soon!

DT: Anarky breathing heavily, holding his back, he picks Fusenshoff up again, Fuse with a right hand, shut down with another shot to the knee

MN: CHAOS BREAKER!! CHAOS BREAKER!!!

DT: Anarky hits the Chaos Breaker a second time!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THREE!! NO!! NO!! FUSE GETS THE SHOULDER UP!!

DM: LISTEN TO THESE FANS!!

MN: ANARKY! COME ON!!

DT: Anarky is furious, he grabs Fusenshoff, has him in position – CHAOS BREAKER!! CHAOS BREAKER!!

MN: THIS HAS TO DO IT!!

DT: ONE!!!



TWO!!!



THREE!! THREE!! ANARKY HAS DONE IT BUT BY GOD DID HE HAVE TO WORK FOR IT!!

[SFX: bell ringing]

TF: The winner of the match, by pinfall, and NEW… number one contender to the Intercontinental Championship…

ANARKY!!