DM: That's right Dave, and this one is going to be even more exciting than usual, as it pits TEACHER against STUDENT!

MN: More like "Sanity" against "INSANITY".

DT: Some have speculated that Mr. Doe isn't really in the best of mental conditions right now, but then again, you'd HAVE to be a little absent minded to come up with THIS type of match.

DM: It's sure to be brutal Dave. And I wouldn't be surprised if we didn't see a single arm drag takedown, fireman's carry, or technical move of any sort.

MN: Who needs mechanics when you can burn the living crap out of your opponent instead?

(Cue up "Hypocritical" by Methods of Mayhem". )

MN: And here comes the psychopath himself....

DT: John Doe making his way down to ringside, and man does he look ready to fight.

DM: Of course he is Dave... the man's been waiting for this moment! What'd you expect him to do, no show?

MN: Heh, I wouldn't be surprised if Douglas didn't come out...

DT: Well we're about to find out Mike!

(Cue up "Kashmir" by Led Zeppelin.)

DT: And there he is! Douglas making his way down to the ring amidst the cheers of this crowd.

DM: You know, some people say Douglas' strength is the technical matches, but if you look at his history he's a former GXW/GWE Xtreme Champion. He obviously knows the territory.

DT: Good point Dean, he's defin....

DM: I know it's a good point, I don't need you to tell me Thomas.

MN: OOOOHHHH BURNT. Hahaha....

DT: And look at those eyes! Douglas and Doe have locked up in a stare down... look at the hatred these two have for each other!

MN: Only true masters of the stare down can pull it off from OPPOSING corners. So where's the fire.... somebody hit the fire!

DT: Folks I've been advised to inform you at home that this could be a particularly violent match and that viewer discretion is advised. As you can see now, those large steel pipes surrounding the ring are being attended to...

MN: FIIIIRREEEE....

DM: It's about to get VERY hot in here, gentlemen.

(SFX: WHOOOSH)

DT: OH MY! Look at those flames!! They must be at least 10 feet high! Folks I'm serious when I say this, I think the temperature just rose about 10 degrees from where we're sitting!

MN: Aww man is it going to be this freakin' hot ALL match? I shouldn't have worn a sweatshirt...

DM: Listen to these fans! They are PUMPED for this bout!!

(SFX: DING DING DING)

DT: And there's the bell! BOTH MEN RUSH AT EACH OTHER WITH A FLURRY OF PUNCHES!!!

DM: Did I call it or what?

MN: Ouch, this is brutal! Look at them laying into each other!

DT: Douglas getting the upper hand now!!! Tosses Doe to the ropes.... flying forearm to the face!! Doe's down, Douglas absolutely POUNDING his face in!

DM: That's gonna leave a mark...

MN: I have never seen Douglas come out with such tenacity!!

DT: He's certainly a man on a mission right now... look at him go! Rights and lefts! Wait... Doe flips him over!

MN: Oh lord, there he goes...

DT: Doe absolutely flipping OUT! He's punching even harder than Douglas was it seems! At this rate these two will be out of steam before the 5 minute mark!

MN: Yeah but who needs steam when we've got... FIIIIIIIREEEEE!??!?

DT: Douglas pushing Doe off of him now, both men are up to their feet. Doe comes running at Douglas, Troy ducks!!

DM: Comes under the arm... and a NICE german suplex on Doe!

MN: And you thought we weren't going to see any moves Dean...

DM: Well let's consider ourselves lucky.

DT: Doe bounces off the canvas, comes running back at Douglas. Douglas ducks the clothesline, runs for the ropes... and Doe changes direction to follow!

DM: OH MY GOD!

MN: DOE JUST CLOTHESLINED DOUGLAS OVER THE TOP ROPE!!! INTO THE FIRE!!!!!

(SFX: FANS FREAK OUT)

DT: Oh man, we were warned that this match was going to get violent, but so soon??? Douglas' could have gotten burned there, but luckily I think he went through the fire at such a high rate of speed nothing caught....

MN: Oh darn...

DM: But look at him on the arena floor, he's obviously phased by it. He's gotta shake off the cobwebs and get right back in this thing...

DT: OH MY!!! DOE COMES FLYING OUT OF THE RING.... THROUGH THE FIRE!!!! PLANCHA ON DOUGLAS!!! MY GOD!!!

MN: Now that's dedication!

DM: I'll give it to him, he's a little loose upstairs.

(FANS: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!)

DT: Both men trying to get to their feet now... slowly I might add.

DM: I love how the referee is still in the ring... there's no way he's gettin out, unless he wants to come flying out like Doe.

DT: Doe goes to throw a punch, blocked by Douglas. Douglas fires back! Hits one, then another! Whips Doe into the security barrier!!! Comes charging at him... back body drop by Doe! Douglas goes flying into the first row of fans!

MN: And look, he spilled that poor man's beer! That's so freakin' rude...

DT: What's Doe doing? He's coming over to our booth for some reason... grabbing a chair now! I should have known we'd see this from Doe.

MN: DAVE... IT'S AN INFERNO MATCH. I think a chair is the LEAST of Douglas' problems right now.

DT: Yes, but apparently Doe has bigger plans for this chair! He's pulling something out of a bag here at the timekeeper's table... what is that??

MN: Can somebody say LIGHTER FLUID?!?! WHOOO!!!

DM: And the fun begins...

DT: Doe absolutely COATING that chair with lighter fluid... walking it over to the flames.... oh my!!!

(FANS POP!)

DT: John Doe has just set this chair on fire, and his eyes are fixed on Troy Douglas!

MN: Douglas better be prepared to duck once he gets his ass over that barrier.

DT: And look at Doe smiling! He's sick I tell you, SICK! Douglas slowly coming back over the barrier... Doe swings the flaming chair! Douglas evades!!! KICK TO THE STOMACH.... OH MY!!! DDT ON THE FLAMING CHAIR!!! DDT!!!! DDT!!!!

MN: And Doe's doing his best Michael Jackson impression!!! HIS HAIR IS ON FIRE!!!

DT: Doe batting at his hair now to put out the flames... writhing in pain on the floor! Douglas rubbing the back of his arm where it made contact with that fire....

MN: What a puss... Doe's HAIR caught fire! Man, he's hardcore.

DT: Our staff putting out that flaming chair with some fire extinguishers...

(SFX: CROWD BOOS.)

DT: I don't think these fans realize just how dangerous this match really is...

DM: I'm sure they DO Dave, that's probably why they're pissed they put it out.

MN: Douglas pushing our staff back now!! He's wrestling that fire extinguisher off of one of the attendants!

DT: And he sprays it in the eyes of the recovering Doe!! Bashing him in the face now with the base of that extinguisher!! OH MY!!! Look at that!!! Doe's forehead is BUSTED open!

DM: Brutal, just brutal! Doesn't look like Douglas is planning on stopping any time soon, either!

(SFX: FANS POP!)

DT: I want to apologize to our younger fans who are viewing this... this is absolutely sick...

MN: Oh man, I don't think Empire's seen a match like this in a WHILE!

DT: Douglas hits Doe one last time and backs off... now challenging Doe to get to his feet! Look at him... he's screaming at the top of his lungs! Douglas is really amped!

DM: He's gotta be... he's dealing with a psychopath in Doe, here!

DT: Douglas still holding that fire extinguisher, allowing Doe up to his feet. The two lock eyes... Doe's grinning... he spits on Douglas!! Oh my god, I think.... I think he just spit out a tooth!!!

MN: Oh man, that's disgusting...

DT: YES, John Doe just spit his TOOTH at Troy Douglas! Douglas takes a hand off the extinguisher to wipe his face... gives Doe just enough time to charge at him! Takes him down with a spear!! And Doe with another flurry of punches!!

MN: These guys HATE each other... I don't think we could have asked for a better match! The people at home are gettin' their money's worth!

DT: Doe continuing to slam his fists into Douglas' face! Lifts him to his feet, whips him into ring barrier! Grabs him once more... another whip... this time Douglas goes flying into the fire!!! OH MY!!! And I think part of Douglas' tights are still on fire!!! My god!!

DM: STOP, DROP, AND ROLL!

MN: Man, you stole my line Dean...

DM: Wit doesn't wait, my friend.

DT: Troy Douglas now patting out that fire on his tights... this place is going crazy!

(SFX: CROWD CHANTS: "THEY'RE HARDCORE, THEY'RE HARDCORE")

DT: Doe comes charging in... a surprised Douglas notices at the last second... Belly to belly!!! Doe goes flying to the arena floor! Both competitors on their backs now!

DM: I'm surprised these guys can still find time to work some actual moves into this one... I gotta' give them credit.

DT: Douglas shaking his head... looks a little lost right now. Gets to his feet... Douglas now walking over to the timekeepers table. Looking for something to use, probably...

DM: Doesn't look like he's having much luck. I think the timekeeper's tried his best to hide his goods now that he's been hit up once for a chair already.

DT: Still searching for something, and he finds the ring bell! Holds it up for the fans to see!!! Douglas nodding to the fans now... knocks on it a few times with the hammer...

(SFX: DING DING DING CROWD POPS!)

DT: Douglas turns around, OH MY!!! HE JUST GOT LAID OUT WITH A CHAIRSHOT FROM DOE!!! Doe apparently grabbed that chair from before and just cracked Douglas over the head with it!

MN: Ouch... Douglas on one knee now... AND DOE WINDS UP FOR THE SIDEARM

(SFX: CRAAAACK!!!!)

MN: .... OH MY GOD!! OH MY GOD!! THAT WAS THE SICKEST CHAIR SHOT I'VE EVER SEEN!!!!

DM: I can't believe he's not knocked out... holy crap...

DT: Folks, we know here in the business know that sometimes things can go wrong, but I don't think that was supposed to happen.... Doe just cracked Douglas in the FACE with this chair... and yes.... I think his nose is broken....

MN: Oh yeah, it's definitely broke... look at the blood spewing out of those nostrils.... oh man... that's gruesome.

DT: I've never seen anything like this... the ring attendant checks the starry-eyed Douglas... he's nodding his head that he's alright. But oh my folks, the blood is just pouring out of Douglas' nose right now. You can clearly see that he has broken it....

DM: These things happen Dave...

DT: And Douglas pushes the ring attendant out of the way! He's up on his feet again!!! He's challenging Doe again!! I can't believe this... these two are insane!

DM: I know, I would have at least thought Douglas had some sense, but obviously tonight he's thrown it all out the window.

DT: Doe goes for another chairshot.... BLOCKED BY DOUGLAS!!! Troy wrestles the chair away... slams it into Doe's gut!!! Pushes it up into his throat.... Slams his head down!!! And John Doe just took the edge of that chair straight to the throat!

MN: I guess that would be why he's clutching his throat and gasping for air!

DM: You're so observant Mike.

DT: Douglas setting the chair up on the floor... grabs Doe... OH MY! DIAMOND CUTTER ONTO THE CHAIR! And that's got to put Doe in a world of pain! Right now Douglas has focused on Doe's throat... he's taking the wind right out of him!

DM: It's a good strategy... how's Doe supposed to compete when he can't even breathe?

DT: Douglas up.... and he's shouting again! Man I have never seen him this pumped up before... he screams out to the fans... blood is still pouring out that nose! The fans are responding though!

(SFX: Crowd POP!)

DT: Douglas breathing heavily, grabs Doe and lifts him to his feet. Applies a dragon sleeper from behind!!! And the ref is still in the ring! He can't get outside to check on Doe! He asks a ring attendant to turn off the gas for the fire... ok, he's got it off!

MN: Well there goes our fire! Crap!

DT: The ref sliding out to the floor now... checks Doe's arm!

(Doe's arm drops once....)

(Doe's arm drops twice....)

DT: Checking it for a final time.... this could be it!

(Doe starts to drop his arm, but keeps it in the air!)

DT: And Doe's still alive! He starts to position himself... brings himself around. Throws an elbow into Douglas' gut! And another! Breaks free... and there's a clothesline! My god, both these men have to be so winded right now! They've given it their all up until this point...

MN: Hey, what in the hell is Doe doing?

DM: I think he's going over to where the ring attendant was at...

DT: Oh my... no... he can't be... DOE IS GOING FOR THAT VALVE.... DOUGLAS IS LAYING RIGHT NEXT TO THE FIRE PIPE!!! HE CAN'T BE SERIOUS!!!

MN: OH BUT HE IS!!!

DT: DOE HITS THE VALVE.... THE FLAMES IGNITE!!! DOUGLAS ROLLS OUT THE WAY!!! OH MY, HE GOT SO LUCKY THERE FOLKS!

(SFX: CROWD "OOOOOHHHH")

DM: You got that right, he just narrowly evaded that surge of flames that came out of that pipe!

MN: But look at it this way fellas, we got our fire back!!! Hey you guys got some marshmallows...

DT: How can you think about food at a time like this, Mike??? Doe almost crispy fried Troy Douglas!

MN: I dunno man... but this is freakin' great! It's like total carnage!!! People are being set on fire, Douglas has a broken nose, Doe's lost a tooth, both these guys are bleeding profusely... this is just PERFECT!

DT: And Douglas is charging at Doe again... they're exchanging punches once more! These men are giving it their all!!! RIGHT by Doe! LEFT by Douglas! RIGHT by Doe! RIGHT by Douglas! My god their heads are snapping back faster than I can count!

DM: Now THAT'S how you punch a man, Thomas. Of course, if it was me, I wouldn't NEED to utilize such a basic feature of my wrestling repertoire.

MN: I don't think they're really lookin for anything more, Dean... I mean come on... what are you gonna' do, bash a guy's skull in or flip him over for a takedown. That crap works great in other matches, but these guys just want to kick the living crap out of one another!

DT: And that's just what they're doing Mike! And these fans are giving them their appreciation!

(SFX: Crowd cheers wildly!!!!)

DT: And Doe gains the advantage!!! A right by Doe! Another right by Doe! A left! And Douglas is stumbling backwards.... a kick to the gut by Doe! Douglas is doubled over.... standing headscissors by Doe!!! HE HOISTS DOUGLAS UP FOR A POWERBOMB... HE'S GOT HIM ON HIS SHOULDERS!!! Oh my... he's walking Douglas over to the flames... he can't do this... he just can't....

MN: DOOO IT! DOOOO IT!

DT: DOUGLAS REVERSES! DOUGLAS REVERSES!!! HURRICANRANA!!!! DOE IS WRITHING AROUND IN THOSE FLAMES! OH MY GOD!!!! SOMEONE HELP THIS MAN!!! PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!

(SFX: FANS POP HUGE!!!)

MN and DM: HOLY SHIT!

DT: DOE IS ON FIRE! DOE IS ON FIRE! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!! Oh thank heavens, attendants are putting Doe out with fire extinguishers... I can't believe this... this is absolutely amazing.

(SFX: FANS BOO)

DT: What do these people want??? They're not going to be happy until someone DIES here tonight!!!

MN: I can't believe what we just saw... do you realize that John Doe was just on fire???

DM: He only said it fifty times, Mike.

MN: I'm just amazed...

DT: Douglas with a cover!!! It has GOT to be over after that!!! THE REF IS COUNTING... THE FANS COUNTING ALONG WITH HIM!!!

(ONE!)

(TWO!)

(HESITATION.....)

DT: OH MY, NO!!!! DOE GETS A SHOULDER UP!!! I can't believe this??? How in the HELL did that man just get his shoulder up off of the floor???

MN: It doesn't matter Dave... the ref's sayin' the pin has to occur in the ring!! Remember, this may be an Inferno match, but it's not falls count anywhere! Douglas is being told this by the ref...

DT: So it didn't even matter if Doe got the shoulder up or not???

MN: Apparently not.

DM: That could be costly for Doe. While it was a great show of courage, it had to take something out of him to get that shoulder up off the floor in his condition.

DT: Douglas slams the floor with his fist now... obviously frustrated. He puts his hands on his head... look at his face guys, he has GOT to be upset right now.

MN: Yeah but he's gotta keep his composure if he wants to put Doe away...

DM: Why? It seems as though the whole "loose cannon" thing has been working quite well for these guys tonight...

DT: Douglas now slowly making his way over to that valve.... and he turns the flames off himself. Comes back to Doe, pulls him up onto his shoulder and rolls him under the bottom rope. Man, you can really see where Doe's body was burned by those flames! That could be a second degree.... I'm not a doctor, but he has GOT to be in serious pain.

MN: It doesn't take a doctor to know that the blisters on Doe's skin are probably quite painful.

DT: I don't even know how Doe's going to continue in his condition... this is so sickening. But at least there's going to be an end to this carnage. The ref following the two into the ring now... Douglas flops down on Doe for the pin.

(ONE!)

(TWO!)

(KICKOUT!!!!!)

DT: DOE KICKS OUT! DOE KICKS OUT! I can't believe it!!! The man is suffering from severe burns, and he STILL kicked out!! And my god... he's... he's LAUGHING!!!!

MN: Now THAT..... THAT IS HARDCORE!!! AHAHA HOLY CRAP THIS GUY IS NUTS!

DT: And look at the look on Douglas' face!!! He doesn't know WHAT to think!! I think that even with him being a former Xtreme Champion, I doubt he's ever faced a competitor like Doe! This is truly something wild, ladies and gentlemen!

DM: But look at what Douglas can do now... he's got Doe in the position to use a more technical attack. Doe can't retaliate with his normal ferocity... he's weakened...

DT: You're right Dean... and that's exactly what Douglas is going for right now! He's got Doe up in a fisherman's suplex! Slams him down to the canvas! Opts not to go for the cover! What's he thinking?

DM: I don't know but that's a FATAL error on the part of Douglas, you have GOT to pin your opponent if you've got him in this position.

MN: He obviously knows that Doe's a freakin' madman. It's going to take something big to finish him off....

DT: And it appears that Douglas is making his way to the corner! What's he going to do... I can't believe he's even thinking about taking this risk! He's taking an awfully long time getting there guys... but I can't blame him. I don't think he can even see straight. That broken nose is obviously messing with him right now...

MN: Yeah he's got to have a concussion or SOMETHING....

DT: Douglas slowly ascending the ropes now.... I think he's going to go for a moonsault!! He can't be thinking this... he's got his back to Doe.... but Doe is up!!! Doe is up!!! Stumbles up behind Douglas!!! This crowd is going wild.... they're trying to warn Troy!! Doe lunges with all his effort... PUSHES DOUGLAS OUT TO THE FLOOR!!!

MN: Oh man, he must have flown at least 20 feet.... pulled a total superman!!

(SFX: CROWD BOOS)

DT: And John Doe is so sapped for strength right now... I don't think he can capitalize! Both men are pretty much motionless right now.

DM: Gentlemen have you EVER seen a match like this before in your life?

DT: No way....

MN: Not me man... this is beyond what I even IMAGINED could have happened here tonight. I'm speechless....

DT: Dan Ryan might want to think about outlawing this type of match on future cards... because if this type of match becomes common, we could see our entire roster transfer over to the injured reserve VERY quickly.

DM: Let's take another look at some of the brutality thus far... this is just sickening folks, watch this...

(Shots play through on a double picture cut-in. Doe is moving slightly on the right side of the screen as the left shows Douglas getting a botched chairshot to the face.)

DT: Yeah that's clearly where Douglas' nose was broken, you can almost hear it snap. Just disgusting I tell you....

(Another shot plays through of Doe rolling around on fire, but on the right hand side of the screen he is up and walking slowly.)

DM: And again, the fire taking its toll on John Doe... but wait... break back to live action fellas...

DT: It appears as though John Doe has recovered first... he's rolling out of the ring... looking for something under the apron.

MN: What the hell's he gonna' pull out now, a chainsaw?

DM: I wouldn't put it past him....

DT: NO... Doe's got a table! He's pulling out a table from under the ring!

(SFX: FANS POP!)

DT: John Doe now sliding the table into the ring, slowly following it in. And it looks as though Douglas is up on the opposite side now as well.

MN: Man, I seriously want to just take the time out to say great match to these two guys, I'm honestly impressed.

DT: I don't think I've ever heard you talk like that Mike...

MN: Well, this is just insanity...

DT: Indeed it is. Doe now propping that table up in the corner... he's wedging it in there, I guess he wants to make sure it's not going anywhere...

DM: Douglas is back in the ring though Dave...

DT: Yessir, and he's found enough energy to make a charge at Doe! Doe sidesteps! CLUBS Douglas in the back of the head! Takes out his legs!! Goes for a quick cover!

(ONE!)

(TWO!)

(KICKOUT!)

DT: And he's not going to get it there... man how long can these two keep up this level of competition? Doe pulls Douglas up to his feet... SNAP SUPLEX! AND ANOTHER!!! Douglas looks to be in some serious pain! But you've gotta remember those suplexes are taking a lot out of Doe as well... his back is completely covered in blisters from that fire!

MN: Yup, you're right Dave... look at him whincing. He knows that wasn't the smartest idea in the whole world.

DT: Doe picking Douglas back up... shot to the gut by Troy!! Fires a right hand at Doe's face!! And another!!! Douglas starting to come back here!

(SFX: CROWD POPS!)

DT: DOUGLAS WITH THE WHIP... HE'S GONNA SEND DOE INTO THAT TABLE! NO!!! REVERSAL AT THE LAST SECOND!!!!

(SFX: BOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!!! Sparks erupt from the table as Douglas impacts it, followed by a plume of smoke. Troy comes flying out the corner and lands unconscious on his stomach. The crowd jumps at the sound....)

DT: OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! I THINK I JUST JUMPED OUT OF MY SEAT!!! Doe had that table rigged with explosives!!!

DM: GENIUS!! PURE GENIUS!!!

MN: WHAT????? I CAN'T FREAKING HEAR YOU GUYS!!!

DT: The referee looks bewildered!!! I don't think even HE knows what just happened! Doe with the cover!!!! This can't be how it ends!!! THIS CAN'T BE!!! DOE'S GOT HIS TIGHTS, PULLING BACK WITH ALL HIS MIGHT.....

(ONE!)

(TWO!)

(THREE!!!)

(SFX: CROWD BOOS TREMENDOUSLY)

DT: AND JOHN DOE HAS JUST WON THIS MATCH!!!!

DM: Oh man... what a finish... I didn't even see that one coming...

(SFX: RING ANNOUNCER: "AND YOUUURR WINNNERRRRRRR..... JOOOOOHHNNNNN DOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!")

MN: HEY, WHY'S DOE CHEERING??? I DIDN'T HEAR NO BELL!

DM: MIke, you can't hear anything man... I think the explosion blew out your eardrums or something....

MN: WHAT??? I CAN'T HEAR YOU.... I THINK THE EXPLOSION BLEW OUT MY EARDRUMS OR SOMETHING!!!! I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, I NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!

DT: Folks, an absolutely stunning finish to an amazing matchup.... John Doe walking... stumbling rather... away with a win here. I don't think he can even raise his hands to celebrate. These two competitors, they deserve some serious respect for this one. One for the books, there's no doubt about it. Let's go to a commercial guys, I think we need a breather after that one... somebody go find Mike.

DT V/O: Wait, we’ve got something in the back.

(The scene is a hallway in the arena. JA is wiping residual toothpaste out of the eyeholes in his lucha mask. Eisenkreuz walks by.)

EK: Grüß dich, Herr Anonymous.

JA: Hey, what’s up big guy.

EK: Not much, not much. I hear you are having qvite ze moral dilemma for your match.

JA: Oh me? Man, everyone’s got an opinion on that. I mean, can’t I just wrestle my own match?

EK: Ja, du kannst. But, tell me, vould you be able to live mit yourself if you ended his career?

JA: I won’t. I mean, people come back all the time. You do what you have to do to win. That’s right. Win… win.

EK: You can still vin vitout injuring his knee furter. Go for ze neck or someting. Vin anoter vay.

JA: Geez, leave it to the German guy to strike as my conscience.

EK: Heh, vell, good luck.

JA: Thanks…

DM V/O: Well, he’s getting it from all sides.