[Meanwhile, backstage sometime during the Hart-JA match…]
“How do I look?”
Joey Melton checked himself out in a locker room mirror of the United Center and asked Adrian Evans, friend, spiritual sage, prescription drug runner, for a more objective assessment.
“I’d be terrified of you. Flex for me one more time, Champ.”
Melton curled his right arm to shoulder height and flexed his bicep as hard as he could. Maybe the Earth didn’t quake, but both men are easily impressed. “Looks to me like you’ve over trained. Massive!”
“You’d be scared…”
“Damn straight.”
“But will Lindsay? She’s seen me watch the last twenty minutes of ‘An Officer and a Gentlemen.’ Adrian, Lindsay knows I’ve been through sensitivity training!”
“See, I thought that was just a rumor.”
“I thought I was going to lose her.” Evans backed up. “Adrian, come on. I’m still me. Joey! I,” A tear formed in the corner of Adrian’s right eye. “I was poor and desperate, what did you want me to do?”
“Rob a train on horseback, crap man. Something.”
“I was young and impetuous.”
“It was last year!”
“I’d never been to a men’s retreat before. I was broken, alone and curious.”
“I don’t care what you were, I’m devastated. What about me?!”
“Eddy Love was there too,” Little Voltron doubled over. “Didn’t see that one coming. He and Melissa were having problems. She wanted to go back to school, Eddy didn’t know what school was. That sort of thing.”
“And Hornet on pain killers about the same time. Great. Just shoot me dead and paint me yellow.”
“You know, I’m not ashamed to say it. I felt empowered by the decision. So much of our problems as men, Adrian, are due to a breakdown in communication. I enjoyed learning it was okay to expression yourself. Okay to cry and be free.”
“Wait a minute. Was that why you handed out pottery as Christmas gifts this year?”
“Apparently, I’m quite gifted.”
“Oh for fuck’s sake.”
“What? I would’ve taken ice sculpting but the freezer at Camp went on the shits.”
“Great. You’re about to get your ass kicked by five men, but you can make Baby a new salad bowl.”
“Make fun. Keep all
that pent up
frustration and rage
bottled up. It’ll
kill you. Meanwhile
I’m happy. I’m…”
“What?”
“As nervous as a gerbil in a gay bar. I don’t know what to do tonight. I feel like I wanna…”
“If you say cry, so help me God…”
“Throw up, asshole.”
“You’re as white as a ghost. Sit!”
Melton sat on a chair.
“It’s the first time for me.”
“First time, what?” Evans wet a washcloth and dotted at Melton’s forehead.
“Facing Lindsay in ring. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”
Adrian stopped in his tracks and looked cross. “What you’re supposed to do? You do what you’ve done for nearly twenty years. You steal the show. You go out there get the job done and come back with the World Heavyweight Championship. That’s what you do, Melton.”
“Yeah, but…”
“I know it was different for you when women were whores and after show conquests. Better days, but you’re in the ring, you’re in love with a woman who’s dicked over previous lovers in front of national audiences. Joey, no man she’s never dated has been left the better for it. She’s a fucking dialect. So, I’d suggest you get your head out of your ass and show some backbone man. Make no mistake, Lindsay Troy will destroy you if the moment presents itself, and when you’re weak and beaten in her eyes, she’ll move on.”
“Shut up.”
“You better separate business from pleasure, because she for damn sure will.”
“You don’t know her, Adrian. You don’t know! She’s in her room right now, as torn up as I am!”
“Birds of a feather flock together….”
“Yes! I’ll prove it. I’M GOING TO BE THE BIGGER MAN! I’m going over to my lover and I’m going to put her mind at ease. Walk this way and be proven wrong.”
“I hope I am…”
“Sunshine…”
Melton knocks twice on Troy’s locker room door. “Beautiful…it’s me. Got a minute?”
A dull rustling in the background answers before Lindsay grunts, “Yeah.”
“Watch the master work,” Joey flashes a wry smile at Evans and opens the locker room door.
Inside, Evans and Melton quivered as an icy smoke billows under their feet. They stood in amazement as Lindsay Troy, fists taped and bloodied, went to work on a large, hung, piece of meat.
“Sweet Mary, is she training for you or Apollo Creed?”
Troy grunted and delivered a series of hard, brutal upper cuts to the ribs. “Hang on…” Lindsay stepped back and unleashed a roundhouse kick.
“Baby?”
“Dude, you’re fucked.”
“What?” Lindsay hastily asked, curing an itch above her lip with her bloodied right hand. “How much time until we’re on?”
Troy buried one last shot into the emasculated opponent, blood spurting in every direction as she connected.
Melton backed up and tripped over Adrian’s cowering body. “DON’T KILL ME.”
“Joey…”
“Joey!”
“JOEY!”
“Huh?” Melton snapped out of his daze, rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands and found Troy sitting on the couch next to him.
“I need to finish getting ready, and so do you.”
“Ready? Yeah. Yeah you’re right. Lost track of the time.”
The pair sat in awkward silence, like they had been sitting in before Melton dozed off. Lindsay picked some lint off the couch in an attempt to ignore the big pink elephant in the room that was the realization that the two of them were <i>really</i>, <i>actually</i> going to have to fight each other. Yeah, they had talked about it, but now the day was upon them and first-fight jitters left them tongue-tied.
Joey gazed around the room to get his bearings then glanced at Troy, who was now pulling at an unraveled thread on her shirt. "So..."
"Sooooo...."
Pause.
"This isn't a 'repeat after me' game, Lindz."
"I know."
Pause. A stray cat's been run over on the road outside the United Center, both are sure of it.
"We're gonna be fine after this, right Joey? I mean, I know we discussed everything weeks ago but..."
"But this is a clusterfuck with four other people."
"Pretty much."
"Hmm." Melton looked deep in thought, no easy task for the man. "Take everyone else away and this is no different than us sparring in that Dungeon of yours."
Lindsay nodded; this was one of the rare times that Melton not only made sense, but was eerily serious about something. "You're right...for once."
"Than...hey now."
"We'll be alright...how can we not be, right? Now scram, I need to stretch and get dressed and get taped up."
"But...but you know that's my favorite part!"
She grinned, pulled Joey to his feet and pushed him towards the door. "Out! I'll let you help me cool down later."