[Cue up: "American Nightmare" – Rob Zombie. The screen completely shreds away, revealing a rapidly shifting blue grid backdrop intercut with video clips of various wrestlers, many leaving blurred after-images as they move.
CUT TO: Beast nailing the Absolution on Lindsay Troy.
CUT TO: Fusenshoff coming off the ropes with a flying forearm.
CUT TO: The Forsaken standing victorious in the ring, holding the tag titles.
CUT TO: JA delivering the Karelin Driver to Rocko Daymon.
CUT TO: Kin Hiroshi delivering a Shining Wizard to Frankie Scott.
CUT TO: Shawn Hart, mugging for the crowd.
CUT TO: Stalker going over the edge of a building on the heels of Rocko Daymon.
CUT TO: Lindsay Troy dropkicking Beast.
CUT TO: Troy Douglas and Larry Tact locking up in the middle of the ring.
CUT TO: Dan Ryan sitting sedately in a chair, staring into the camera.
CUT TO: That image shattering, showing Lindsay Troy sitting on a throne style chair, with a smirk on her face.
Cut to the blue grid, which ceases shifting and fades to an all green background. In one swift motion, what looks to be a huge paintbrush buzzes past leaving a black streak across the bright green. The words "UNLEASHED 2008" are then imprinted.]
DT: Ladies and gentlemen welcome to San Francisco, California….and Empire Pro Wrestling’s UNLEASHED!! I’m Dave Thomas and of course alongside me are the one and only Mike Neely….and of course….Dean Matthews.
DM: Nice jacket, Neely.
(Neely you see, is wearing an Oakland A’s jacket as we sit in the home of the San Francisco Giants)
MN: What??
DM: Wrong team, douchebag.
MN: What’s the difference??
DM: About fifty miles and about fifty death threats.
MN: Well, as long as there’re no earthquakes, I’m good.
DT: We’ve got an amazing show tonight, topped off by not one, not two, not three….but four title matches. Fusenshoff and Stalker will compete in a Stalker Rules match for the vacated Television Title, Troy Douglas and Larry Tact will face off for the Intercontinental Title, Forsaken will defend the World Tag Team Titles against the team of Craig Miles and Beast, and last but not least……JA will defend his World Heavyweight Title against the former champion “Triple X” Sean Stevens…in a steel cage.
DM: What a night!
DT: Let’s get the party started right away. The first match of the evening involves “Phenomenal” Frankie Scott and Omega, The Craziest Bastard in Wrestling.
DM: At Aggression 39 Frankie Scott stole Barb, Omega's “manager” I guess you could say.
MN: It's a chair Dean, a steel chair. Just call it what it is- the wacko thinks talking to a steel chair is okay.
DM: There's obviously something wrong with the guy, but that doesn't change the fact that he's almost 300 pounds of power in the ring. I don't know what Frankie's thinking pushing the buttons of this behemoth.
MN: At least Tom Hanks had an excuse for talking to a volleyball in Cast Away. The guy was isolated on an island for seven years.
DM: Yeah, well who's gonna stop Omega from doing whatever he wants? Just like 6'3, 250-plus bikers can get away with having a ponytail after forty, Omega can talk to chairs all he wants because no one’s gonna say anything.
MN: I guess you have a point there Dean. He's nuttier than a Baby Ruth, but he has the strength to get away with it.
DT: Here comes Omega now, followed by an introduction from Tony Fatora.
[CUE UP: “Redeemer” by Marilyn Manson plays over the speakers as Omega makes his way out to a mixed reaction from the fans. Barb is noticeably absent from Omega's clutches and the monster looks ready for a fight. He is fuming as he makes his way down to the ring. He climbs over the top rope and waits in his corner.]
TF: Ladies and Gentlemen, tonight's opening match is standard rules. Standing six feet, eight inches tall and weighing 295 pounds, hailing from Somewhere in Missouri.... The Crrrraziest Bastard in Wrestling... OOOOOOOOOOMEEEEEEEEGAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
MN: You're right Dean, the man is a monster and in my book, can do whatever the hell he wants.
DM: It'll be interesting to see if Frankie brings Barb to the ring to torment Omega. If it were me, I wouldn't do anything to unleash the rage inside the gargantuan lunatic.
[CUE UP: “Phenomenon” by Thousand Foot Krutch plays over the arena speakers. A full video rolls on the huge titantron of Frankie wrestling stars like Dan Ryan and the Sergeant, doing an interview and signing autographs. Fans cheer loudly as “Phenomenal” Frankie Scott runs out with Barb in his left hand. He stops in the middle of the runway looks back at the video and then points toward the fans as pyrotechnics blow all around him. Scott emerges from the smoke to run around the ring and shake all the fans hands. After he finishes, he hops on the ring apron and leaps over the ropes to rush to each turnbuckle for a photo opportunity with Barb for the fans. He hands the barb-wired steel chair to the referee.]
DT: And this one starts with both men squaring off. Omega is staring daggers at Frankie as he stands his ground. He seems to be getting more and more upset as Frankie moves around the ring and he simply rotates while watching the smaller wrestler. Frankie suddenly charges at Omega and executes a clothesline. Omega doesn’t move at all after the maneuver. Frankie looks perplexed and decided to bounce off the ropes. He flies at Omega again and tries for another clothesline. Once again Omega doesn’t budge at all and Frankie is frustrated now. Scott bounces off the ropes once more- third time’s not a charm this time. He makes a big mistake here as Omega catches Scott by the neck… CHOKESLAM!
DM: Whoa!
MN: Chokeslam early by Omega. Frankie dropped the ball there.
DM: I think Frankie underestimates just how much Barb means to Omega. That steel chair is Omega’s conscious, it’s his control. Without Barb we have a madman running around EPW wreaking havoc. It seems to be helping him in the ring right now.
MN: I noticed you said ‘it’ instead of her. Not a believer Dean?
DM: Believe that a steel chair can talk? Not in this lifetime.
DT: Omega is waiting for Scott to get up. Frankie is on all fours when Omega stomps him back into the mat. This happens repeatedly until finally Omega lifts up his foe by the hair. Three backhanded slaps to the chest later Frankie is caught in the corner. Omega lifts Scott up onto the turnbuckle when Frankie starts to really fight back. He punches Omega repeatedly with rights until the giant stumbles backward. Frankie reaches the top turnbuckle lightning fast and is aerial in seconds. A flying missile dropkick finally takes Omega off his feet. Scott jumps on Omega for the pin.
One…
Two…
Kickout!
DM: Nice retaliation by Scott. There’s no quit in this guy.
MN: Except when it came to the ‘American Idol’ gimmick. He quit that like a one-night stand who won’t stop calling the next day.
DT: Frankie picks up the big man and executes a flawless high knee lift. Omega stumbles, allowing Scott to bounce off the ropes and lands a flying cross-body. Omega falls as Frankie rolls the maneuver into an armbar. The fans go wild as Omega shrieks in pain and Scott throws his head back, putting real pressure on the bicep. While squirming, Omega flails his open arm into the rope and the referee breaks the hold.
DM: Size is a factor here as the six foot eight inch man-mammoth is able to reach the rope with relative ease.
MN: The rope was within reach the whole time. All that pain was completely unnecessary. What was Omega thinking? Oh yeah, he wasn’t.
DT: Frankie gets to his feet first and grabs Omega by the back of the head as the man tries to get up. Frankie lands a bulldog and the fans cheer some more. He stomps on Omega a bit before picking him up. He executes a Full Nelson into a front leg sweep and jumps up, heading for the turnbuckle.
DM: Frankie looking exceptional here. After the way he started, I don’t think anyone saw this coming. He’s putting on a show.
DT: Scott is standing on the top turnbuckle. He chooses to play it up for the fans. About ten second later he finally launches off the top to land an Elbow Drop. Omega rolls out of the way and Scott lands hard on the mat. Omega goes for the immediate pin.
One…
Two…
Kickout!
DM: “Phenomenal” Frankie Scott might’ve been able to put it away there, but he posed for the crowd instead.
DT: Omega’s back in this and looking to go on a rampage. He lands a haymaker on Scott, who falls back into the ropes. POWERSLAM by Omega and Frankie definitely felt that one. Omega yells into the air and the fans don’t quite know what to make of it yet. He picks up his adversary and executes a belly-to-back Suplex. He goes for another pin since he’s down there already.
One…
Two…
Thre… No! Kickout at the last second by Frankie Scott!
DM: He’s one tough son of a-
MN: Family show! Family show!
DM: Son of a-
MN: HEYYY!!! What did I just say?!
DM: Gun, Mike! Son of a gun! Lay off the coffee ya’ nut.
DT: Omega still on the attack as Frankie is doing everything he can to fend off this attack. The Craziest Bastard in Wrestling is in the midst of a rageaholic bender and he’s focusing it on Frankie Scott. A powerbomb leaves Scott holding his back in pain and squirming on the mat. Omega picks up the smaller wrestler and flings him into the ropes… Spinebuster! Frankie is starting to lose his sense of awareness as Omega is just destroying him. Throwing Scott’s arm over the back of his neck and lifting him up, Omega plants Scott with a neckbreaker.
DM: This is getting ugly fast.
MN: Domestic abuse clinics see less action than this.
DT: Omega looks like a man on a mission as he picks up Frankie once again and whips him into the ropes… he lands a Spinning Sidewalk Slam and signals for The End. Most of the fans are cheering now at this impressive display of power. Omega nails THE END on Frankie Scott and all that’s left is to go through the motions now. He pins his defeated foe.
One…
Two…
Three!!!!!
DM: What a beating at the end there.
MN: You said it Dean. I sure hope Barb teaches this guy the fruits of being as evil as possible in this business. He has real potential.
TF: Your winner… by pinfall via his finisher, The End… The Crrrraziest Bastard in Wrrrrrrestling… OOOOMEEEEEGAAAA!!!!!
DT: The referee hands Barb back to Omega and the monster hugs the barb-wire chair in a fit of glee. Omega is bleeding from squeezing the chair so hard. He looks to be tearing up as he walks around the ring oblivious to what’s going on. Meanwhile, Frankie is pissed and seems to be fishing around in his trunks.
MN: BRASS KNUCKS! YES!!!
DM: Oh no! Look OUT!
DT: Frankie has the knucks and walks right up to Omega. The joy and tears are the last controlled expression on his face as Frankie lands a brass knuckle sandwich on Omega. The big man stumbles around and Frankie side steps. He lands another right and Omega drops Barb. One last right and Omega falls in a heap outside the ring, right in front of us at the announcer’s table. Frankie puts the knucks back in his trunks and grabs Barb once again.
MN: Scott took Barb again after that vicious assault. I like this guy more and more all the time.
DM: Once again Omega lets Barb slip from his grasp. I don’t know if that’s ultimately the best move by Frankie though. Omega is a terror when he’s angry. I wouldn’t push his buttons any more than I’d have to. f