DT: Very interesting goings on there at the end of that match and now over here on the Empire Pro side…we’re gonna take a look at a new signee to the company…Dope.
[CUTTO: Still, blurry shot of a devastated television set, plastic shell caved in, tiny bits of broken glass scattered about on the sidewalk…]
DISTORTED V/O: The sickly sweet humidity short circuits reaction time, that is of the physical, while the mind just can’t seem to shut itself off. N’matter how hard he tries, lies down, closes his eyes, takes another few nips, hoping, in a self consciously futile way, that sleep will come, and he can finally stop thinking…and perhaps dream.
But there hasn’t been sleep in ages, and dreams, not since he was a boy. Well, wait, that is to say he doesn’t “go to sleep” so much as “passes out.” It’s the lack of dreaming that’s more troubling. They say dreams are big purges of all the bad stuff that built up in our heads, yeah? Well, this cat doesn’t dream, and tends to ask himself troubling questions as a result. Like “Am I always dreaming?” “Is any of this happening?”
And, of course, he isn’t and it is, and maybe that’s the problem.
And nights like this, there’s nothing to do but stare at the hotel ceiling, watch the fan spin, and plan his revenge…
Well, “plan” might not be the right word. “Brood upon” would be more accurate…And this much brooding simply isn’t healthy. One starts to question one’s own motivations. One starts to undermine faith in himself. Too much thinking, and you go mad. You’ll answer whatever big questions you need to, sooner or later, unless you’re good and dumb. But the tendency is to just keep right on thinking after that, and soon whatever truisms you’ve created for yourself go all wonky…Too much thinking, and you don’t know the difference between right and wrong. You don’t even know who you are.
Sometimes it’s best to just act on your emotions. Sometimes, for a little clarity of intent, it helps to be stupid.
Especially if part of you already knows what your emotions are telling you to do isn’t a very good idea…..
[Fade…..]
[CUTTO: The EPW table]
DT: We’re back from that to more from the Empire Pro side of things as we move into the Television Title match between challenger James Irish and the unique Shawn Hart.
DM: This is a match that could really not only cement Shawn Hart as a force in EPW by beating someone as well-known and accomplished as James Irish but could also really make a name for the TV Title division here in EPW.
TONY FATORA: Th’ following contest is set for one fall, and is for the Empire Pro Wrestling TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP!
MN: WOO YEAH! Top TV title in wrestling baby!
DM: I think New ERA’s TV champ would disagree.
TONY FATORA: Introducing first…
[CUEUP: "I'll Drink to You" by Duke Jupiter, as James Irish emerges from the back with Erin right behind him. He raises his hand and acknowledges the crowd, before marching to the ring, high-fiving some. He slides under the bottom rope, helping Erin as she enters the ring]
TONY FATORA: The challenger, weighing in at two hundred and forty five pounds, he stands an impressive six feet three inches, and hails from Fredonia, New York. With his manager, Erin Flanagan… this… is… JAMES… IRISH!!!
DT: James Irish looking to win some gold here tonight, and he looks in GREAT shape after what he’s been going through recently.
DM: It’s going to be interesting; he’s really coming to the top of his game here in Empire Pro.
MN: Yeah, after he practically BAILED on his partner at Wrestleverse! He’s making a habit of bailing on partners isn’t he?
DM: He turned up for that match, just a little late.
MN: Yeah, whatever – good thing he’s not got a partner to bail on tonight, maybe he’ll just leave the match and give it to the Phenom.
TONY FATORA: And the opponent…
[CUEUP: “Watching the Wheels” by John Lennon, as the TV champ makes his way to the ring through a chorus of boos]
TONY FATORA: Standing five feet eleven inches, and weighing in at two hundred and twenty six pounds, he hails from Orlando, Florida… and since November two thousand and six he has been the REIGNING and DEFENDING Empire Pro Wrestling Television champion… THE PHENOM… SHAWN… HART!!!
DT: The man who has had a strangle hold on that title since he beat Mike Evers back in November, Shawn Hart!
MN: Now, James should just leave now, he’s going to lose anyways.
DM: Don’t be so quick to count James Irish out, Mike
MN: [interrupting] That’ll be Bryan Weatherby’s job when Irish BAILS!
DM: At least he can bail; I don’t think anyone would stump up the money for you if you got arrested.
MN: And why would anyone arrest me?
DT: For being annoying. Bryan Weatherby showing off the TV title belt… and here we go! Shawn Hart springing across the ring, but Irish moves! Hart hits the corner hard, and there’s a series of right hands from the challenger!
DM: Irish picking Hart out of the corner after that HAYMAKER of a right, Irish whip across the ring, and a BIG hiptoss takes him down.
DT: He waits on Hart to get to his feet… and a forearm straight to the jaw!
MN: NO!! His phenomenal smile!
DM: Will be a little crooked now. James Irish spins Hart around… Atomic Drop!
DT: And a HARD DDT in the middle of the ring!
One…
TWO…
Easy kickout there by Hart, who almost got beaten in less than two minutes!
MN: He’s just… trying to tire Irish out! Yeah, that’s right…
DT: Hart had that massive escape against Foxx recently, so maybe Irish will be too much for him. He certainly is right now, as Irish picking him up… and there’s the headbanger’s ball!
Crowd: Four! Five! Six! Seven! Eight! Nine! Ten!!
DT: Hart’s staggering in there, he can’t get a break! Irish with the whip across the ring again… SPINNING HEEL KICK! Shawn Hart is down and rolling to the outside as James Irish celebrates with the fans!
DM: A bit early to be celebrating. I think Hart left himself too open when he charged in, and Irish has just taken full advantage of it.
MN: Who knew he was so smart?!
DT: A lot of people. Erin telling James to stay on Hart, Irish to the outside… thumb to the eye by Hart as they make their way… woah!
MN: Looks like Hart’s going to have Irish repeat school by hitting his head on the desk.
DT: The champ with a knee to the gut, winds up… BLOCKED! Irish slamming Hart’s head into out announce table, and he rolls him quickly back into the ring!
DM: And the champion is begging off!
MN: Strategy.
DT: No, cowering! James Irish looking round to the fans, grabs Hart by the head…
Crowd: Ooooh!
MN: Told ya!
DT: Shawn Hart with a headbutt to the stomach! Follows it up with a hard right hand, and just DRIVES Irish’s head into the knee there! Follows it up with an elbow drop, hooks the leg…
One…
Two…
Kickout by Irish! But Hart’s not too bothered, ramming his knee into Irish’s head!
DM: I think he’s trying to keep Irish away from mounting an offence for a few minutes at least, give Hart the chance to clear the cobwebs from that early flurry.
DT: That’d be smart, as he picks the larger man up…and takes him down with a bulldog!
One…
TWO!
No dice!
MN: Kevin Nash isn’t here.
DT: What?
DM: Vinnie Vegas.
MN: Surprised you didn’t know that, Burger-man.
DT: I’m not even going to comment. Shawn Hart picking James Irish back up, and a stiff right to the jaw rocks the Fredonia native!
MN: Total control, JUST as I predicted!
DM: Or got from the psychic hotline. I saw you on your cell to them earlier.
MN: Shut up! At least my names aren’t switchabable!
DM: Switchabable?
DT: Guys, the match? Shawn Hart taking Irish into the corner, driving the knee to the gut, and takes him down with a sweet release Northern Light’s suplex! Look how stiffly Irish landed there! Hart springs over for the cover
TWO!!
No!
MN: He bailed out of that pin attempt.
DT: Enough about bailing!
MN: Just because he’s the best person to have if you’re in a sinking ship.
DT: *groans*
DM: Hart picking Irish back up off the canvas… right hand by Irish!
MN: DAMMIT!
DT: Hart with a knee to the gut shutting him down, Irish whip into the far corner. Charging in… BIG monkey-flip to take Irish down.
MN: Flipperonie-O!!
DM: Can I hit him?
DT: Go ahead.
MN: Ha-ha – you missed!
DT: But Shawn Hart didn’t miss that legdrop! Right across the throat, and this match has taken a real slow-down. Kinda surprising with Hart, better known for flying.
DM: But he’s showing some great tactics here. Lifting Irish up, snapmare take down.
DT: Floats into a cover
One…
TWO!!
Kickout at two by the challenger.
MN: Just a matter of time.
DM: Hart applying a straight-jacket on the canvas now, as Erin Flanagan tries to encourage James – he was in total control up until that headbutt.
MN: Hart was tiring the bailer out. His strength had to take a phone call!
DM: Enough, Mike!
MN: Never!
DT: Shawn Hart trying to keep Irish grounded, but the challenger’s managing to work his way to his feet… trying to turn… YES!! James Irish reverses the straight-jacket, and drops Hart down in that very hold with a foot to the back of the knee!
DM: And Hart is telling the ref he’s nowhere near going to give up.
DT: Hart trying to power his way back to his feet – he’s giving up about twenty pounds here!
DM: True, but where there’s a will…
DT: There’s a way, obviously, with Hart now standing, trying… he reverses NO! Reversal into a straight-jacket drop by James Irish! The crowd going nuts as James Irish slaps Hart on the back of the head. Waits for Hart to get to his feet… back suplex!
DM: Both men going for the neck it seems.
DT: Irish with Hart back up, Irish whip off the ropes… HUGE hip toss! But he’s staying on top of him, taking him down with a headlock take down into the middle of the ring.
DM: Trying to wear him down, take the champion right out of his game.
DT: Hart slapping the mat out of frustration in there, this has got to be infuriating for him! Irish has totally changed the direction of this match.
MN: It won’t last.
DT: Hart trying I think to roll Irish onto his shoulders, but James Irish just wrenches back on the neck!
DM: But Hart’s trying to shake him off with a shot to the kidneys.
DT: Hart with another rabbit punch, and Weatherby’s telling him to stop using the fist. Irish though bringing Hart up in the headlock, switching round to a front-face lock… DNO! James Irish I think telegraphed that one, and Shawn Hart shoves him off as he tries the DDT!
MN: Boo-yah!
DT: Hart quickly hooking the legs, jumps over
One!
TWO!!
Kickout again by the challenger! Both men quickly back to their feet, Irish swings a lariat, Hart ducks. Irish charging in… SLINGSHOT through the ropes by the champion!
Crowd: Booo!!
DT: The crowd letting Hart hear it as James Irish is sprawled on the floor after that tumble!
MN: Loser!
DT: Hart jaw-jacking with the crowd from the apron… double axe handle across the back of Irish! Erin looks a little concerned, but she’s keeping her distance, as Hart lifts Irish up, and just RAMS him back first into the ring apron!
DM: That smarts.
DT: Shawn Hart with James Irish up… scoop slam onto the floor! Bryan Weatherby telling him to bring it back into the ring, but Hart’s ignoring him, whipping the challenger into the barricade. Follows it up
Crowd: WOOOH!
MN: YAY! They remembered the light sign!
Crowd: WOOOH!
DT: Shawn Hart with repeated
Crowd: WOOOH!
DT: chops to the chest, and the fans that were booing him are joining in the
Crowd: WOOOOOOH!!
DT: ing.
DM: It is catchy. Flair should’ve copyrighted it, he wouldn’t have such problems getting divorced if he had.
DT: Shawn Hart rolling back into the ring as Brian Weatherby kept on counting, but he’s right back outside again, SLAMMING Irish’s head off the ring steps! He rolls him back into the ring
One!
TWO!!
Thkickout there, a little more labouredly than we’ve grown accustomed to from Irish tonight!
MN: Just a matter of time now, Bailer!
[*thwap!*]
MN: HEY!
DM: Didn’t miss that time.
DT: Shawn Hart has James Irish back up, hooks him in a reverse headlock… drops him reverse DDT onto Hart’s knee! And a proper reverse DDT has him down! Excellent combo there by the TV champ. Shawn Hart quickly sitting up on the top rope… DRIVES the elbow across the jaw!
One!!
TWO!!
Kickout again by the challenger!
MN: But Hart’s right back on the attack, picking him up…
DT: And down in a HUGE high-angle back suplex! James Irish just crumpled like a candy wrapper!
DM: Nice metaphor.
DT: Weatherby’s checking James Irish, and Erin looks VERY concerned – he came down pretty hard on the back of his neck there. Shawn Hart swinging his foot at Irish, Bryan Weatherby trying to get him back.
SH: Come on, James, you gonna bail on me?
MN: See? I’m not the only one.
DT: That slap to the back of the head was uncalled for! Bryan Weatherby trying to force Hart back, Hart just shoves him into the corner. Picking Irish up by the hair… Irish is really sluggish, Hart can barely lift him… manages to get him back to his feet, Irish whip… ROLLING back into a Boston crab!
MN: That was SWEET!
DT: Bryan Weatherby quickly into position, but James Irish is already trying to turn his way out of it… and Hart lets go to drop the knee into the small of the back!
DM: A concentrated effort, taking out the spine – if someone’s back and neck are damaged, they’re going to be moving very gingerly, and they’ll be ripe for the
DT: Picking Irish back up again, drops him with a knee to the face. Crossing Irish’s legs over, rolling him… OUCH!!
MN: What do you even call that one?!
DM: A bridging toe-hold reverse figure four into a neck lock?
DT: Shawn Hart is just wrenching on the neck, pulling back… wait! Why is Hart shouting in pain?!
DM: I don’t know, I can’t see from this angle… yes I can! James Irish has a neck-lock on Shawn Hart!
DT: Shawn Hart bridged back too close to James Irish, and the man from New York state is getting Hart to break the hold by practically using it on him! And Hart can’t break the hold because he locked his leg between Irish’s!
DM: This is… one of the more bizarre counters I’ve seen.
DT: James Irish finally breaking the hold, and repeated stomps to the back, the chest, the back… and a BIG splash!
ONE!!
TWO!!!
KICKOUT by the champion, and Shawn Hart is rolling over to the ropes to try and gather his thoughts, I don’t think he expected Irish to come back like that.
DM: But James Irish is taking a bit of time himself, holding the ropes – he charges in, shoulder tackle to take down the champion. Comes back off the ropes – BIG clothesline! Hart’s reeling in there, as Irish scoops him up… SNAKE-EYES into the corner! Not as effective as it would be coming from Dalkichev or Eisenkreuz, but still.
DT: Pushes Hart back into the corner, drives the elbow in and mounts the ropes…punches incoming!
MN: CHEATER!!
Crowd: ONE! TWO!! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIXSEVEN EIGHTNINE TEN!!
DT: Bryan Weatherby trying to get Irish off the ropes… JUMPING DDT!! James Irish jumping up and catching Hart with a DDT on the way down!! Rolls over, the cover
The count
TWO!!
THNO!! SOMEHOW Shawn Hart managed to kick out despite the high impact of that DEVASTATING DDT!!
DM: But Irish is taking control again, dragging Hart to the middle of the ring. Lifting him up… SIDE Russian leg-sweep to take him back down, and switch into an arm-bar!
DT: Shawn Hart though quickly rolling into it
TWO!!
Irish forcing Hart back to the canvas and break the pin attempt!
MN: Come on Shawn! Don’t let it take so long!
DT: James Irish breaks the hold, but takes the champ down with a boot to the head! The crowd really behind the challenger, and he turns to salute them!
DM: Mistake! Shawn Hart gets to his feet and SPEARS Irish as he turns around!
DT: Hart grabbing the legs of Irish – sharpshooter time?
SH: Wanna go home, jackass?
DT: Home?
DM: Hart motioning… FREDONIA CLOVERLEAF!
MN: That’s a Texas cloverleaf, Dean – you need a stronger prescription.
DT: Shawn Hart using James Irish’s own Fredonia Cloverleaf, in the middle of the ring! Going right back to the back he worked on on the outside earlier, and James Irish has nowhere to go!
DM: Hart’s got it locked in tight, too, sitting right down – Dean Malenko would be proud of this one.
DT: James Irish screaming in pain from his own submission hold!
MN: Serves him right for that counter earlier. He should just tap and call it a day.
DT: Erin Flanagan is PLEADING with James not to quit, and Hart’s just leaning further and further back!
DM: If he goes back much further he’ll be able to pull off a modified Vixen’s Tail!
DT: James Irish is struggling, trying, and clawing to get some momentum and head towards the ropes.
MN: Not gonna happen! RETAIN THE TITLE!! Retain…
DT: Bryan Weatherby is right there, asking James if he wants to quit, but James Irish is shaking his head, inching his way over to the ropes.
MN: There!! He tapped!!
DM: He did not! He slapped his hand down to give himself more impetus.
MN: Isn’t that what you suffer from, oldie?
DM: No, impotent is what you are. James Irish is trying to shake Hart’s balance slightly and use that split second to start moving to the ropes.
DT: He’s stuck though, I don’t see much of a way out of this.
DM: He’s trying… inching…
DT: Hart releases the hold! Shawn Hart stomping away on the back of James Irish, BIG high elbow drop, rolls him over…
ONE!
TWO!!
THRENO!! James Irish manages to kick out! Shawn Hart can’t believe it, as he picks Irish up and throws him through the ropes back to the outside!
MN: Fun time!
DT: Bryan Weatherby trying to chastise Hart, but Hart just heads straight to the outside and rocks Irish with a right hand! Irish struggling, trying to get to his feet. Hart doubles him up with a knee to the gut, picks him up… NO! James Irish slips out the back door and shoves Hart into the barricade! Hart turns… CLOTHESLINE INTO THE CROWD! SHAWN HART JUST WENT SPILLING INTO THE CROWD FROM THE FORCE OF THAT DISCUS CLOTHESLINE!
DM: And the rest of the crowd appreciates it!
DT: Bryan Weatherby is up to a count of four, as James Irish is on his knees, holding his back. Shawn Hart is trying to pull himself up using the chairs and the barrier, I think he hurt himself when he went over.
DM: James Irish is starting to get back up, rolling back into the ring and breaking Weatherby’s count – he rolls back out though and moves over to Hart.
DT: Hooks Hart in a front-face lock… BIG face-first suplex onto the floor to bring him back over the barrier! James Irish still moving slow after that cloverleaf, but he’s picking Hart up again, and rolls him back inside. Follows him in
One!
TWO!!
THRKickout by the champ!
DM: James Irish not wasting much time though, trying to use the ropes for support to get to his feet. Waiting on Hart… DDT!
ONE!!
TWO!!
NO!! Kickout AGAIN by Hart! James Irish, STILL not able to put away the man that knocked him out of TEAM’s invitational!
DT: But he’s not looking too worried, more fighting the pain in his back. He tries to bring Hart back to his feet… thumb to the eye by the champion! Desperation move, James was building up steam there.
MN: Never!
DT: Shawn now with a kick to the gut, arm-wringer – kick to the shoulder. Wrings the arm again, kick again ROCKER DROPPER! Shawn Hart with the Rocker Dropper!
ONE!
TWO!!
THRENKICKOUT!! Shawn Hart is livid with Bryan Weatherby, yelling at him to count faster!
DM: But look at the consummate champ, grabbing Irish off the canvas as he yells at the ref.
DT: Backing Irish up against the ropes, whip across the ring… BIG dropkick to the face on the rebound!
ONE!!
TWO!!
NO!!
MN: Why prolong the inevitable, James?!
DT: Shawn Hart picking up the challenger… BACKBREAKER! He picks him up again, dragging him to the corner… something big coming up, Dean?
DM: Looks like it.
DT: Sitting Irish up on the top rope, climbing up behind… SUPERBACKSUPLEXNO! JAMES IRISH COUNTERS INTO A CROSS BODY! BUT HE HASN’T GOT THE STRENGTH RIGHT NOW TO COVER!
DM: This is hard hitting action, fans.
DT: James Irish trying to pull himself up by the ropes near Erin, she’s willing him on as Hart is trying to catch his breath, that had to knock the wind out of him! James Irish, the challenger, looking for his first gold in Empire Pro Wrestling… he’s back up, waiting on Hart… DOUBLE ARM DDT! DOUBLE ARM DDT!
ONE!!
TWO!!!
THRNOOO!! AGAIN Hart with the kickout!
MN: Come on, Champ!
DT: James Irish, trying to pick Hart up again SMALL PACKAGE!
ONE!
TWO!
THRENO!! James Irish this time managing to kick out at the last second from that sudden small package!
MN: And no Beau Michaels in sight.
DT: Both men slow to get to their feet, Bryan Weatherby trying to check on Hart. Hart’s in the corner, Irish charges NO!!
DM: Squashed ref! Over ice!
DT: Shawn Hart pulled Bryan Weatherby into the corner as he got out of the way, and James Irish just FLATTENED the referee!! HART ATTACK! HART ATTACK! HART ATTACK!!
DM: Not the same.
MN: But there’s no referee!! DAMMIT!!
DT: Shawn Hart pulled the ref in the way, and hit the Hart Attack on Irish, but the ref’s hurt! Bryan Weatherby is on the canvas, Hart’s going for a cover, but he only has himself to blame!
MN: Bryan slipped into the corner, you know it.
DT: He did not slip, Mike. Hart’s yelling at Weatherby to get into position, but Weatherby’s still trying to get his breath back – he’s holding his right shoulder, the one that hit the corner. Hart giving up on the cover, he’s got James Irish up by the hair. Boot to the gut, and LIFTS him onto the top rope! Is he going to try a suplex again?
DM: Looks like.
DT: Shawn Hart, following James Irish up to the top rope – this has been a see-saw match-up tonight! Right the way up, hooks the head… BLOCKED! A clubbing blow to the back, he tries again, but he can’t dislodge James Irish from the top turnbuckle! Looks like he’s going to change his move… HURRICAPOWERBOMB! POWERBOMB! SHAWN HART JUST BOUNCED FROM THAT TOP ROPE POWERBOMB REVERSAL BY JAMES IRISH!! Irish is sitting back on the ropes, trying to get himself into position… FUNK NUMBER FORTY NINE! FUNK NUMBER FORTY NINE! HE HIT IT! HE HIT IT!!
MN: STOP HAVING AN ANEURISM!
DT: James Irish into the cover, and Shawn Hart isn’t moving! Bryan Weatherby, crawling, dragging himself into position, Erin Flanagan willing him on, the crowd willing him on, James Irish willing him on…
DT: ONE!!
MN: No….
TWO!!
DM: If he drops his hand a third time it’s over!
DT: THREEEENO!! NO!!
MN: HALLELUJAH!! DODD BE PRAISED!!
DM: Bryan Weatherby was too hurt to count at the right speed, and that gave Hart time to kickout!
DT: James Irish can’t believe it! He’s yelling, what does he have to do to win this match?
DM: Beat Hart.
DT: Here he comes again, slowly picking Hart up… INVERTED ATOMIC DROP!! Shawn Hart in real pain… SMALL PACKAGE! HART’S NOT MOVING!
MN: KICKOUT SHAWN!!
DT: Bryan Weatherby again drags himself into position…
DM: What the?!
DT: ONE!!
DM: What’s he doing here?!
TWO!!
WHAT THE HELL?!
DM: FRANKIE SCOTT JUST PUSHED THE SMALL PACKAGE OVER!!
DT: NO! NOT LIKE THIS!!
ONE!!
TWO!!!
THREE!! THREE!
MN: YES!!
[SFX: *dingdingdingding*]
TONY FATORA: Th’ winner of the match… and STILLLLLL Empire Pro Wrestling Television Champion… THE PHENOM… SHAWN… HART!!!!
DT: What a cheap win for Shawn Hart and just what the hell is Frankie Scott doing out here anyway?!
DM: I don’t know, but this certainly would be an odd pairing…..Shawn Hart and Frankie Scott. Maybe we’ll hear something more later tonight or tomorrow on our second night.
DT: Well, let's hope so.....