[CUEUP: “Satisfaction” by Benny Benassi and the Biz. The lights in the arena go out and are replaced by flashing disco lights.]
DT: Oh dear God no……
[The StockTRONs light up every few seconds with a new image of Beau Michaels’ action in Empire Pro. There’s scenes with Michaels feeling up Beast .. grabbing onto the crotch of Troy Douglas keeping him from falling out the cage .. and finally molesting JA.]
VOICE: “It wouldn’t be a GAY-per-view without the Fabulous One, himself..”
[FLAAAAAAAAAAASH!
The arena lights, hell all the lights anywhere, go on at high beams blinding the camera shot.]
VOICE: “And it’s your lucky day.. because WrestleSTOCK … just got .. BEAU-tylicious!”
[CUEUP: “Bootylicious” by Destiny’s Child as the lights go down and the beats thump throughout the arena. Rainbow fireworks fire up from the sides of the rampway as a spotlight shines on the curtain.]
DT: My eyes!! Something’s burning me eyes!!
[The curtains part .. and coming out from behind are three shirtless young men. The sweat drips down their chests and they have straps in their mouths. The walk out and …
*SNAP* *SNAP*
The young men pretend to arch their backs as a chariot is revealed to be pulled by them. The chariot comes from behind the curtain holding Beau Michaels, dressed up as a Roman soldier… except … he’s not wearing a helmet..]
MN: Ah!! Now it’s got me!! AHH!!!
DM: Dear God he’s wearing that same jockstrap he stole from Joey Melton’s laundry last night!!
DT: Needles!! Needles in my eyes!!
[The young men draw the chariot down to the ring. When they get to the ring, the three men get on their knees and Beau Michaels hops off the chariot and uses each young man as a stepping stone to the ring. He enters the ring to the jeers of the crowd.]
DM: It’s got me too!!...Must…..fight…..the pain…..
[Michaels then goes to the center of the ring and reaches down the front of his get up and fondles himself for a few seconds. After a few seconds he remembers why he stuck his hand down his pants, and pulls out a microphone. Michaels then turns the jockstrap from in front of his mouth to the back of his head.]
MICHAELS: “The history that has been made tonight is … [looks down and smiles] ENORMOUS…”
[Michaels looks back up and winks.]
MICHAELS : “To think .. that just moments ago .. I showered in the same shower where Jason Sehorn busted nut after nut..”
[Michaels bites his bottom lip and shudders a little. The crowd, who had originally popped at the mention of Sehorn, now jeer.]
MICHAELS: “Mmmm… the best cornerback in Giants history … although … I prefer when he was the wide receiver…”
[SFX: Crowd JEERS!]
MICHAELS: “But alas … I’m not here to talk about my past pieces of ass… no ...”
[Michaels licks his lips.]
MICHAELS: “I’m here to talk about my FUTURE pieces of ass….. ohhhh yeaaaa…”
[SFX: Crowd jeers. Michaels reaches up and slowly drags the jockstrap over the top of his head .. and pauses as he brings it down the front of his face .. and inhales as its over his nose.]
MICHAELS: “And I must admit .. I was probably more excited last night than anyone in the arena when Joey Melton won the Empire Pro World Heavyweight Championship…”
[SFX: MASSIVE JEERS]
MICHAELS: “Because not only do I … appreciate men in power …”
[Michaels slowly rubs the jockstrap down his chest …]
MICHAELS: “But … then it was every Beau Michaels fantasy COME .. true… JOEY MELTON PART DEUX!”
[SFX: Crowd continues to erupt in Jeers! Michaels slowly moves the jockstrap to his waist.]
MICHAELS: “Two Meltons … perfect replicas … I must tell you … I haven’t been this excited since starring in “Double the Pleasure” with the Carlson Twins…”
[SFX: Fans groan.]
MICHAELS: “Mmmm.. just thinking about doing the wheelbarrow position with two Joey Meltons … makes me wetter than Lindsay Troy when she walked in on Dan Ryan jerking it to Tina Turner..”
[Michaels pauses .. and then purses his lips as he sticks the jockstrap down the front of his pants.]
MICHAELS: “Actually… that doesn’t sound like such a bad thing to walk in on … but alas, been there .. done that … but Joey Melton … Meltons .. he’ll get his shot to see how well he can handle this jelly..”
[Michaels pats his ass.]
MICHAELS: “And until that day … I’m going to keep this souvenir … I’m going to sleep with it by my side … keep it in a special, special place .. until Joseph himself can take its spot.”
[Michaels inhales and then shudders in pleasure.]
MICHAELS: “But tonight .. tonight I’ve got a taste for something a little bit … different. I’ve decided … that in order to prepare myself for the deliciousness that is Joey Melton … I should make sure that I am in tip-top condition .. make sure that I haven’t lost any .. stamina after that crushing blow that JA gave me..”
[The young chicken, who had come into the ring only moments before, says something in Michaels’ ear.]
MICHAELS: “Well.. I take that back .. the blow he gave me was actually quite good .. sans the overusage of teeth.”
[The chicken nods approvingly.]
MICHAELS: “But I digress … I am here … at WrestleSTOCK … to issue a challenge for Russian Roulette.. a very, very special challenge because this man has been on my mind for quite some time…”
DT: Oh man…someone’s about to be in loads of trouble!!
MN: You just said…..!!
DT: I know, I know….dammit.
MICHAELS: “Me and him have something in common … you know … we both CRAVE for Dan Ryan’s affections …”
[SFX: Crowd jeers!]
MICHAELS: “And … when he talked about how some had called him Dan Ryan’s Rottweiler…”
[SFX: FANS POP HUGE!!!]
DT: Oh no…
DM: I know who it is now…this is NOT gonna be pretty…..
MICHAELS: “I only had one thing on my mind …. being on my hands and knees ... being his *****.”
[Michaels looks around the arena … and then sticks his finger in his mouth, before slowly working it out and licking the tip.]
MICHAELS: “That’s why … at Russian Roulette… I challenge ANARKY …”
DM: And there it is…..
MICHAELS: “Won’t you help me out, Anarky? Won’t you get me ready for Joey? I’ll even give you a new moniker, baby… You don’t have to worry about being called Dan Ryan’s lap dog anymore …. BECAUSE YOU CAN BE MY FLUFFER!”
[SFX: Crowd jeers!!]
MICHAELS: “So … man up to it … or else I’m going to come get your ass myself…”
[Michaels starts walking to the ring ropes but stops short and brings the microphone to his lips one last time.]
MICHAELS: “And when I want a piece of ass… I GET THAT PIECE OF ASS …. just ask your boss.”
[Michaels laughs as he tosses the microphone back into the ring. CUEUP: “Satisfaction” by Benny Benassi and the Biz as Michaels, still in full Roman regalia, steps onto the chariot. The young men take their positions and then start pulling Michaels up the rampway and out of the shot.]
DM: Well, these Beau Michaels appearances never cease to amaze.
MN: My eyes are turning back to normal!! Is he gone?!?
DM: God, you’re an idiot.
DT: Folks, I've got to warn all those out there, this next match is bound to be brutal and bloody. If you've got any young ones watching at home, now might be the time to have them leave the room.
MN: Stop being so damned serious! This is *wrestling*, for crying out loud!
DT: Ok, then YOU go outside and let Anarky and Beast throw you around the street!
MN: No way! That's way too violent!
DT: Thanks for making my point for me! Ladies and gentlemen, this next match is a Street Fight! Nothing fancy - no introductions, no burning pyro, no loud music - just two guys so incensed that they want to beat the HELL out of each other! Dean, what do you think about this match between Beast and Anarky?
DM: I don't know, Dave, this could really go either way. Beast is known for his ability to mix it up in volatile matches, as he's shown here in the cage against Christian Sands when he first won the EPW World Heavyweight Championship, and again against Dan Ryan in their own brawl, but you have to remember that Anarky, while being smaller than Beast, is well versed in using his environment to his advantage and bring that SPECIAL kind of pain that only he can come up with! I'm only going to predict a lot of pain, and a lot of blood in this one!
DT: Fair enough, Dean! This match is a No Disqualification match, and can end in pinfall, submission, or knock out! We know that Beast is outside right now on the street outside the arena, and we'll have the feed for you here inside the arena on the EmpireTron so the fans can follow along and we can call the match! Hold on to your hats, folks!
The EmpireTron lights up, and we get a view outside the arena. An Empire Pro official stands at the ready, as does Beast, dressed only in jeans and EPW t-shirt, his hands inside leather gloves with the fingers ripped off. A throng of fans has encircled the area, trying to get a piece of the action, but EPW security has them at bay! Anarky appears around the corner, dressed almost alike, and the two men spot each each other.
MN: Uh-oh! They're locked in! There goes Anarky!
DT: There goes Beast!
Both men take off in a sprint at each other, and meet witih a HUGE lock up that looks like a couple of rams butting heads! The two men battle on the sidewalk, before Beast takes control using his size and power, lifting Anarky off his feet and SLAMMING him up against the side of the arena!
DT: Beast has got Anarky PINNED up against the wall... and now he PLANTS Anarky into the concrete sidewalk! This isn't a wrestling ring, folks! Beast just slammed Anarky into pure concrete!
Anarky rolls on the concrete in pain, while Beast heads over to a nearby bus stop, and pulls the garbage container from it's spot, and heads back to Anarky, presses it over his head...
DT: That's a solid metal garbage container! Beast is going to CRUSH Anarky with it!!! Beast THROWS the garbage container, and Anarky ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY!
The garbage container takes a chunk out of the concrete, and Anarky rolls to his hands and knees to safety. Beast follows and drives a football-style kick into Anarky's ribs! Anarky lets out a howl of pain and rolls onto his back, where Beast begins stomping away at Anarky's ribs!
DT: The former World Heavyweight Champion is just TAKING it to Anarky early on in this match, guys! Well, it's really not a match, but a fight!
MN: Aww, come on, stop that Big Loafy! He's blatantly choking Anarky right here!
DM: Um, Neels... it's "NO DQ"?
MN: It should be illegal for Loafy! Come on, he's got both hands wrapped around his throat!
DM: If Anarky was in control, you'd be giggling like a school girl!
MN: So?
DT: Back to the action... Beast still has Anarky trapped down on the sidewalk, but Anarky is slowly trying to free himself! He fires a couple right hands into the side of Beast's head, then goes to his ribs... oh, Beast dropped an arm down to try and block those shots, and Anarky took advantage and pushed Beast off of him! Anarky gets to his feet, coughing from the choke, and staggering away, trying to put some distance between he and Beast! But here comes Beast! He grabs Anarky by the back of the head and drives it into a light post! Anarky's head just bounced off that post with a sick thud! A second time into the light post!
DM: I think Anarky's bleeding already, guys!
DT: Certainly not a gusher, but Anarky's down, and there IS blood slowly running down the side of Anarky's face!
MN: What the hell does Loafy think he's doing?
DM: Looks like he's searching through a dumpster, to me.
MN: You mean tidying his living room, right?
DT: I would say he's looking for a weapon! And he's got one! Some kind of metal bar! And here he comes after Anarky, looking like he wants to cave his head in! Beast takes a swing...
CLANK!
DT: And Anarky ducked! Beast dropped the metal bar, his hand shaking from the impact! Anarky's got the metal bar!
WHACK!
Crowd: OHHH!!
MN: YES!
DT: Anarky just drove that metal bar into the side of Beast's knee!
Beast: ARRRGH!! HOLY ****!!
MN: Loafy's down! He's clutching that right knee in obvious pain!
Nearby, a black Lexus pulls up near the curb and parks as Anarky starts stomping away at Beast's knee, eliciting howls of pain from the former Champion. Anarky then grabs Beast's leg, and drags him back over to the dumpster, where Anarky DRIVES Beast's leg into the side of the dumpster!
WHAM!
DT: And a SECOND time, Anarky smashes Beast's leg into that dumpster!!
MN: Break it!! Break the damned thing clean off!
DT: And here goes Anarky up on TOP of the dumpster... SENTON ONTO BEAST'S LEG!!!
Beast rolls away screaming in pain, and Anarky needs a few moments to recover.
DM: That's exactly what we talked about at the top of the match, guys! Anarky will do pretty much anything, including sacrificing his own body if it means he's getting a chance to injure his opponent!
DT: And it's no secret that both these guys want to injure each other, Dean! Beast and Dan Ryan have had a long history of opposing each other here in EPW. Beast joined forces with Irishred to assist Red in his corporate challenge against Ryan, and has been Red's right-hand man since he helped Red win control of EPW! But Dan Ryan had his own ace up his sleeve in case he lost, and that ace was Anarky! Anarky has been Ryan's "Co-Chairman" along with Irishred, and it's really like Ryan has never lost control! Naturally, in these settings with Beast and Anarky being the two right hand men, they've gravitated towards each other, and all hell has broken loose!
MN: And maybe Anarky will finally retire the Big Furball!
DT: Looks like he's trying to, Neels! Anarky's got a hold of Beast's leg, and he's trying to do more damage to it, but Beast is kicking out in desperation! Anarky can't get a good grip on him! Anarky stalks around Beast, who is sliding around on his back on the concrete, using his left leg to keep Anarky at bay! Anarky tries to shoot in and grab Beast's leg, but Beast catches Anarky with a boot to the mouth!
Anarky staggers backwards, his hand clutching at his mouth, and Beast awkwardly gets to his feet, but almost falls over again due to the pain in his leg! Beast grabs at his knee, stifling his yells of pain, and tries to shake his leg out and work it over.
DT: And here comes Anarky, charging at Beast, looking to wipe out the former Champion... BUT OHHHHHH!!! SPINEBUSTER BY BEAST RIGHT ON THE CONCRETE!!
Crowd: POP!
And Beast falls right back down to the sidewalk, clutching his leg!
DM: You'd think that Beast is pretty much defenseless here, but he pulled that one out! However, now I think it's just a matter of time before Anarky finally injures Beast until he can't take it any more! I just don't know how much Beast can fight back!
DT: Beast is one of those guys what will go until he's no longer able to, but I think I have to agree with you, Dean! Having that leg injured that much will pretty much take any of Beast's power moves away from him. He's going to have to come up with something big and dirty to end this match! But now, he's satisified with just crawling on top of Anarky, and driving right hands down into his face! There's another huge right hand! A third! A fourth! Beast is PUMMELING Anarky here! Here comes another - but ANARKY JUST DODGED AND BEAST PUNCHED NOTHING BUT CONCRETE! Anarky pushes Beast off of him, and both men fight to get to their feet! Beast tries to come in with a big boot, but Anarky catches his leg! DRAGON LEG SCREW on that injured knee of Beast, and you can hear that knee tearing from here!
Beast rolls to a stop in front of the parked Lexus in a great deal of pain, clutching at his knee.
MN: Whoever's driving that car might want to think of moving it. Knowing these two, I can see it being used as a weapon!
DT: No doubt! Beast is slowly trying to get to his feet. And look at Anarky! He's just stalking Beast! He could probably put him away at any time, but he really wants to maim the man! Beast is up, and here comes Anarky... BACK BODY DROP BY BEAST AND ANARKY SPILLED ALL OVER THE HOOD OF THAT LEXUS!
Beast falls to his hands and knees, before finally using the car to help himself up and work his way around to the back of the car.
MN: Good thing for tinted windows! We can't see what the driver's reaction is! Bad timing if he's just here to pick someone up!
DT: And Beast rolls over onto the back of the car, getting onto his hands and knees on the trunk! Here he comes over the roof of the car... FLYING ELBOW DROP - or as much as he can fly, anyway - right into the HEART of Anarky!
MN: There's dents all over the trunk and roof of the car! The hood is crushed!
DT: Beat fights to get to his knees, and he pulls Anarky up after him... Beast pulls Anarky's head down.... HYOOOGE KNEE LIFT to the face and Anarky is sent flying backward off the car to the street below as Beast crumples back onto the hood of the car!
DM: That'll rearrange your face!
The door to the black Lexus opens up...
MN: Looks like our driver has finally had enough of these two guys fighting on his vehicle!
DT: IT'S DAN RYAN!! OH NO!! IT'S DAN RYAN!!
MN:: WOOHOO!
DM: This can't be good for Beast.
Ryan gets out of the car and calmly shuts the door, before walking up to where the front tire is. Beast notices him and freezes!
MN: Aw man! Did you see the look on Loafy's face! That was the moment you realize you're in a WHOLE lot of trouble!
Beast kicks out at Ryan with his good leg, but Ryan catches it, and pulls Beast closer, before driving an elbow into Beast's bad knee! Beast howls out in pain as Ryan drags him off the car and unceremoniously dumps Beast on the concrete, before once again pulling Beast up to his feet and grabbing him by his hair and jeans...
CRASH!
DT: DAN RYAN JUST DROVE BEAST'S THROUGH THE DRIVER'S SIDE WINDOW!!
Ryan just dumps Beast back onto the ground, and leans on the car, folding his arms, and enjoying the view!
DM: And Beast is just BUSTED. UP. right here! He's bleeding profusely!
DT: It's not looking good! And this match is No Disqualification! Anarky and Dan Ryan can team up on Beast all night if they want to! Anarky is up on his feet! He's coming back for Beast, and he and Ryan just nod and smile at each other as Anarky passes him! Ryan non-chalantly points at the back of the car, and hits a button on the car remote - the trunk's open! Is Anarky and Ryan going to throw Beast in the trunk?
MN: Do you really think Ryan would want blood all over the inside of his Lexus?
DM: He cared enought to use Beast's face to smash his window!
MN: Good point!
Anarky heads to the trunk and reaches in... closes the trunk, and comes back winding a chain around his right fist!
MN: Uh-oh... now, he's just going to TOY with him!
DT: Here comes Anarky... he calmy steps over Beast, and drives that chained right hand right into Beast's forehead! There's a second shot! Anarky's just MEASURING Beast! There's a third shot! A fourth! MY GOD, THIS IS JUST A BEAT DOWN! Anarky gets off Beast, pulls him to his feet, and THROWS him across the trunk to the sidewalk!
Beast isn't even yelling in pain anymore. He's just a crumpled mess on the sidewalk! Anarky pauses to talk strategy to Ryan, then heads back around the car to Beast, pulls him to shaky legs, and nails him with a few right hands.
MN: Fall, damn you! FALL!!
DM: Beast is like Rocky taking a beating from Ivan Drago! He just won't go down!
DT: He's taking all kinds of punishment... looking pretty wobbly now, and Anarky backs up several paces... He's just going to run Beast over! Here he comes.... WAIT!! BOOT TO THE FACE by Beast! Beast grabs Anarky... DESPERATION RELEASE GERMAN..... RIGHT THROUGH THE STORE FRONT WINDOW!!!
Crowd: HO-LY ****!!! HO-LY ****!!!
MN: HOW THE HELL DID HE *DO* THAT?!?
DT: That was nothing but pure survival instinct, Neely! It has to be!
Ryan rushes into the store to check on Anarky, who is stirring, and he gets to his knees, REFUSING any help from Dan Ryan! Anarky finally gets back up after several moments, face POURING with blood!
DM: Now BOTH men are busted WIDE open! There's enough blood flowing here to bring a few people back from the dead!
MN: Guys! Look at Anarky! He's SMILING! He's ENJOYING this! He loves being thrown through plate glass windows!
DM: And he's coming after Beast! Beast is down on the sidewalk! He's pretty much done! His knee can't support many more moves like that!
DT: Anarky walks through the wreckage and back out to the sidewalk, grabbing Beast and hauling him to his feet! Anarky SHOVES him hard against that Lexus that Ryan brought here earlier! There's a knee to the head! He DRIVES Beast's head back into the car! And now he's got Beast back up to his feet... he's rolling Beast onto the trunk of the car and climbing up after him. Now, he rolls Beast up to the roof. What the hell is he doing? He pulls Beast to his feet...
MN: JESUS CHRIST!!!
Crowd: HO-LY ****!!! HO-LY ****!!!
DT: OH NO!! OH NO!!! CHAOS BREAKER FROM THE ROOF OF THE CAR TO THE STREET BELOW!! BEAST HAS BEEN DESTROYED!!
MN: YYYYYESSSSS!!!!
DM: Anarky SACRIFICED himself for that one, folks! He landed hard!! But, he's getting back up!
DT: Oh, this is just wrong! NONCHALANTLY placing the boot on Beast's chest, and here's the official's count!
1...
2...
3!!!!
DT: This one's over! It's all over! Anarky has utterly decimated Beast here at Wrestlestock!! I can't believe it!!
MN: I think I'm going to cry! Or cream myself! I don't know which!
DT: What a street fight! But it's time for the main event! Let's go back inside!
[CUTTO: Inside Marcus LaRoque’s office. In one hand he is holding the New ERA of Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship.. in the other, a paper document. He places each on in its own steel briefcase, which have been carried up to his office from their not-so-protected area earlier.]
LaROQUE: “Done is done. In a few minute…”
[LaRoque stops as he hears commotion outside his office door. The door quickly flies open and walking into the room, with two staffers hugging an arm, is Larry Tact.]
LaROQUE: “What the hell?”
[The female staffer lets go and stands at attention. Her hair is in her face so she quickly moves it to the side.]
STAFFER: “I tried to get him to stop, but he insisted on making sure that everything was in order himself.”
[LaRoque slowly moves his eyes from the disheveled staffer to Larry Tact, who stands there with a grin on his face.]
LaROQUE: “Are you mad? You can’t be in here!”
[Tact takes a few steps forward, the scrawny male staffer still hooked to his arm. Tact stops, shakes the staffer off, and continues on his way to LaRoque .. and the briefcases.]
TACT: “I wanted to make sure that everything was in order myself.”
LaROQUE: “So I was just told.”
[Tact looks down at the briefcases.]
LaROQUE: “But you need to be out .. you should be heading to the gateway to make your entrance.”
TACT: “No. After all the **** that New ERA management has put me through I want to make SURE that what they say is going to be in these briefcases is ACTUALLY there.”
[Tact grabs the piece of paper.]
TACT: “This is the contract for the World Heavyweight Championship shot at BANNED in the US?”
[LaRoque nods, becoming impatient.]
LaROQUE: “It is.”
[Tact places it back in the briefcase.]
TACT: “Good. And I see the World Heavyweight Championship is already here … fantastic. I can rest easy now.”
[Tact looks down.]
TACT: “You’ve dropped your pen.”
[Tact bends down and reaches for the floor.]
LaROQUE: “I didn’t even know I had a pen with me … I’m losing my ******* mind.”
[Tact stops on his way up and looks at the bottom of the briefcases. He spots his mark and smirks.]
TACT: “It’s ok.”
[Tact hands the pen to LaRoque.]
LaROQUE: “Thanks.”
[He looks at it.]
LaROQUE: “.. I’m not even staying at the Marriott.. I haven’t even been there…”
[Tact turns and heads towards the door. Without even looking back he responds.]
TACT: “You can stop by my room tonight then and join in the celebration when I win the World Heavyweight Championship….”
[Tact exits the room, and LaRoque watches him leave before shutting the briefcases. He tosses the pen to the female staffer and reaches for the phone.]
LaROQUE: “You can have them come get the briefcases, we’re all set here.”