MN: Awwww, is this a Freaks match?

DT: Yes, Mike. Yes it is. We've got Second Coming against Golem and X-Ecutioner.

MN: Bah, the Freaks ain't nothin'. My man Brian Storms will smoke those furry freaks out.

DM: This isn't really my style of match, but it's going to be off the chain anyway. People love tables. People love ladders. Throw 'em all together and add in some chairs, and we're all set, especially with the winning team getting a shot at the tag titles.

DT: Let's take it down to-

[CUE UP: “Otherworld,” as Leonard Johnson walks out to a chorus of boos, heading straight for the announce table. Despite protests from Thomas, he takes a spare headset, sitting down next to Dean Matthews]

LJ: Didn’t your mother teach you not to gawk?

DT: What are you doing out here?

LJ: I’m here to do my old job as a commentator, or didn’t the headset give that away?

DM: I think this booth is getting a bit crowded.

LJ: That's not an issue. I’m here because Mr Ryan was most insistent I be here.

DT: Right... over to Tony Fatora in the ring for the introductions.

TONY FATORA: The following is the number one contenders match for the tag team championships, and is a Tables, Ladders and Chairs match.

[Cue Up: “The Final Countdown” by Europe. As the opening chords of "The Final Countdown" play, the arena goes black. As the introduction of the song continues, the words "A New Time Has Come" flash on the big screen above the ramp. As the words "The Final Countdown" are heard for the first time, an elaborate display of fireworks and lights signal the entrance of Matt Johansson and Bryan Storms. They walk swiftly past the tables and chair surrounding the ring, before sliding simultaneously under the bottom rope to pose on opposite turnbuckles, taunting the crowd.]

TONY FATORA: At a combined weight of four hundred and seventy pounds... “The Perfect Ten” Matt Johansson, “The New Icon” Bryan Storms.... SECOOOOOOOOOOND... COOOOOOOOOOMIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!!!

DT: Second Coming suffered defeat at the hands of Christian Sands and Lindsay Troy at Aggression, and have so far been unable to defeat their bizarre opponents.

DM: They only had the one match against them, Dave.

LJ: They don’t hold a candle to Blitz; neither do those chumps of opponents about the make their way through the curtain, we beat them with their own move LITERALLY.

MN: That was cool!! The way they got the Claw on X-Ecutioner...

LJ: I’m sure Max and Jecht would be more than willing to show you how they did it.

[FADE OUT: “the Final Countdown,” which is replaced by “Hurt” by Nine Inch Nails. Golem is carrying a chair as his larger partner strides determined to the ring, pushing over one of the tables littering the ringside area.]

TONY FATORA: Weighing in at a total combined weight of five hundred and twenty three pounds.... GOOOOOLEEEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMMMM and the XXX-ECUTIONEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DT: The ref having a tough time keeping these two teams separate, as they barge each other in the ring; there’s a lot of bad blood in there dating back to Unleashed, when Golem and X-Ecutioner attacked the Second Coming in the back.

LJ: This match should never have made PPV. Neither side has what it takes to go for the gold; you have to have a good win-loss record in most places, and neither side has managed to beat Blitz yet, Why we were never added to this match still eludes me. But that’s neither here nor there as Storms punches Golem to the mat with a cheap-shot from behind the ref, and we’re go in the number one contenders match.

DT: Indeed we are as Storms and Johansson take down their opponents with hard right hands. Storms picking up the chair that Golem had, and levelling him between the shoulders. Johansson fighting with X-Ecutioner, backing him into the corner now with those vicious and stinging lefts and rights.

LJ: Good, but listen to a pro; X-Ecutioner, that weakling who couldn’t even outlast his partners submission move, in real trouble here, as one half of the Second String connects with square forearms smashes, bone on bone right on the jaw. Storms drops the leg on the neck of Go-loser, who’s not looking too sharp in there. The thing here is to weaken your opponent before taking it to the weapons, the TLC on the outside to put them away.

MN: Yeah, the Second Coming will win because they got strategy skills.

LJ: And they’d STILL be pummelled if Blitz were involved.

DT: Be that as it may, Storms and Johansson are really taking it to Golem and X-Ecutioner as they start by far the stronger. Golem rolling to the outside, trying to run it seems from Storms, who’s following him straight out. Thumb to the eye by Golem, who now rams Storms into the ringside barrier. Johansson still working on X-Ecutioner...

DM: And Golem ramming the ribs of Storms down on the barrier, onto those ribs he and X-Ecutioner worked over in the last match between these two. This is fast paced action all around; it’s just what you’d expect from two teams that hate each other so much.

MN: Storms should start wearing rib protection; don’t wanna see him injured, that’d be the low point of his career.

LJ: Enough with the bad puns; why you’re employed is beyond me; you’d never have gotten a job working commentary with me. Regardless, Golem is folding up a chair, placing it on Storms’ chest, and... yep, stamping down hard on it. Johansson sees this, slamming X-Ecutioner down, and a running leap over the top to the outside takes down the clawed one. Stupid thing to do really.

DT: And why’s that?

LJ: Ask Dean, he should know.

DM: Well, from a strategic point it lets X-Ecutioner recover; these matches you can’t afford to help your partner out too much because you always have to be working over on someone.

DT: Be that as it may, Johansson may have helped his partner in a massive way there, as he rams Golem’s head into the steel steps.

LJ: And his blunder comes back to haunt him. X-Ecutioner shaking the cobwebs, and making sure the hard work from Golem isn’t put to waste, rolling outside and slamming Storms down hard. Wasted effort there from Johansson as we’re back to square one. X-Ecutioner now setting Storms up... belly to back suplex on the floor there. Storms is in real trouble; Dave, why don’t you and Mike take Golem and Johansson and leave Dean and I the others? Much easier to call the match then.

DT: Why Mike?

LJ: Because he annoys me playing Storms up like he’s some sort of deity when he couldn’t even take a little punishment from these two freaks.

MN: Hey!!

DM: Leaving Neely and Thomas to bicker, this is Dean Matthews and Leonard Johnson bringing you this match as X-Ecutioner looks to continue pressing his advantage, setting Storms up on a table... no, fighting spirit from Storms as he connects with a kick to the head there, stunning X-Ecutioner.

LJ: Neither side is able to keep an advantage here, and I know for certain that neither would have better luck against Blitz. Storms now trying to protect his ribs, standing on the table... cross body block off the table.

DT: Meanwhile we’ve got Johansson in trouble with Golem, who just threw some of the timekeeper’s water into the eyes of the Canadian. Johansson staggering, as Golem takes the bell...

MN: THE BELLS!!! THE BELLS!!!

DT: Johansson clobbered there by the ring bell. Leonard, could we PLEASE swap before I clobber Mike?

LJ: No deal. Storms pushing the table onto the prone body of X-Ecutioner, and he looks towards the ladder laying along the barrier. He picks it up, carrying it over... and ramming it hard onto the floor, as X-Ecutioner just gets his legs out of the way there. Nice try Mr Storms, but the PERFECT combination of power and speed you are not.

DM: *muttering something* Storms shaking his hands from the impact on the floor there, the ladder dropping harmlessly to the padded floor. X-Ecutioner now able to push the table off of himself, kicking out at Storms, right square in the shins. Nothing fancy and technical from these teams as yet, as I see Johansson working over the arm of Golem now. Thomas and Neely are too busy to bring you this action, but Johansson has Golem’s arm wrapped around the ring post, as he picks up a chair... RIGHT into the arm. Trying to immobilise the claw there by taking the arm out, smart wrestling.

LJ: X-Ecutioner back on the offensive against Storms, working again on the ribs of the smaller man. You can tell he’s looking to put him through a table, beat those ribs up some more. Simple, but effective strategy. Neither team’s able to keep in control here, which is common in these types of matches; never a lot of technical mastery, always carnage. Then again, ANY match with Max and Jecht has guaranteed carnage.

DM: Johansson still taking it to Golem. A nice hammerlock there, rolling him back into the ring. Johansson looking to use some ring skills rather than brawling. Nice dropkick there, and Golem’s favoring that arm. Leonard, did you cut Dave and Mike’s mics?

LJ: I may have, they were irritating me.

DM: Thought so. Johansson now grabbing Golem’s arm, locking in an armbar on the canvas, really wrenching that arm back. Outside X-Ecutioner’s setting Storms against the guardrail, charging in... BACKDROP from Storms, as X-Ecutioner goes down hard on the cement floor. Looks to me like he may have hurt his knee there. Storms moving back over to the ladder, having trouble picking it up; he barely slides it into the ring, and how smart that was I don’t know. The weight of lifting the ladder probably torqued his back a little.

LJ: Johansson releases the arm bar, and stamps away on the shoulder of Glummy. Say what you will, though, neither side should be in this match until they manage the impossible and beat Blitz-

DM: Oh for the love of Pete, would you SHUT UP?!

LJ: Excuse me?

DM: Must every sentence end in "They're invalids until they beat Blitz?"

LJ: Yes-

DT: Boys, boys, boys! No fighting!

DM: But he started it. Besides, they're invalids until they beat ME.

MN: And shockingly, I'm the only man concentrating on the job. Uh, it looks like Golem just got rammed into the ladder - hell yeah, man, his head's wedged between two steps! That's nuts!

DM: ...This is a new low. Mike Neely's acting more professional than we are. MIKE NEELY.

LJ: We should all hang our heads in shame.

DT: I feel dirty now - but not as dirty as Golem, who's bleeding profusely from the face! Pulls himself out of the ladder - AND STORMS BRINGS HIM UP AND FLAPJACKS HIM FACE-FIRST ONTO A CHAIR!

DM: Now THAT is a facebuster!

DT: I think Golem could be completely out of this match here, as that drop onto the chair has left him immobile. Hold on, what's this? Storms sliding to the floor and setting up a table just outside the ring... He rolls Golem out and sets him on the table... looks like he's getting ready to shoot over the ropes!

LJ: Someone has other plans - BECAUSE X-ECUTIONER JUST BLINDSIDED STORMS with a big elbow from behind!

MN: Oof!

DT: This doesn't look good for Bryan Storms as X-Ecutioner hooks him up... Golem's rolling off the table... X-Ecutioner brings Storms up front-suplex style... AND DROPS HIM TO THE OUTSIDE AND STRAIGHT THROUGH THE DAMN TABLE!!!

(CROWD CHANTING: "HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT!")

DM: THAT WAS FREAKIN' SICK!!! DROPPED HIM FROM THE RING TO THE FLOOR THROUGH A TABLE!!!

MN: AAAAAH! THAT'S MY MAIN MAN WHO JUST GOT KILLED!!! GET UP, BRYAN!!!

DT: What a BRUTAL maneuver by X-Ecutioner! He's turning now, setting up a ladder! The big man is climbing! Climbing towards that contract hanging from the rafters!

DM: Hey, Leonard just dropped his headset and he's going down to watch at ringside. What's up with that?

MN: The freak's gonna win it! Someone call the DQ on him!

DT: X-Ecutioner's got the contract within his grasp! He's almost got it -

MN: WAIT A-

DT: Matt Johansson slides into the ring - GOOD GOD, HE PUSHES THE LADDER OVER!!! IT'S FALLING!!! X-ECUTIONER FALLING... RIGHT OUT OF THE DAMN RING TO CRASH DOWN OVER THE RING BARRICADE STOMACH-FIRST!!! MY GOD!!! X-ECUTIONER HAS TO BE DEAD AFTER THAT IMPACT!!!

(CROWD CHANTING: "THAT WAS SICK! THAT WAS SICK! THAT WAS SICK!")

DM: HOLY FLURKING SNIT, THAT COULD'VE BROKEN X IN HALF!

MN: YEAAAAAAAAH! DEAD FREAK!!!

DT: This match has gotten out of control! Johansson now setting up another ladder! He's starting to climb - wait, Golem latches on to the other side! Both men climbing the ladder for all they're worth!

MN: Come on, Matty! COME ON!

DT: Both men at the top of the ladder! Golem and Johansson slugging it out! Johansson winds up - NO! GOLEM PUTS THE CLAW ON HIM FROM THE TOP OF THE LADDER!!!

MN: NO!!!

DM: It's OVER! Johansson's FINISHED!

DT: The Claw applied to Johansson, who's screaming in pain! This match is going to be finished right here - WAIT - BRYAN STORMS!!! THE CHAIR TO THE BACK OF GOLEM - AND HE GERMAN SUPLEXES GOLEM OFF THE LADDER!!!

DM: OUCH!!!

DT: JOHANSSON REACHING! HE'S REACHING FOR IT - YES! YES! HE GETS THE CONTRACT! SECOND COMING WIN THE MATCH!!!

(SFX: *DING* - Bell rings.)

TONY FATORA: Here are your winners... Bryan Storms and Matt Johansson... SECOOOOOOOOOOND... COOOOOOOOOOMIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!

DT: What a damned brutal matchup between these two teams, but in the end Second Coming walks away victo- what the hell is - BLITZ JUST CAME OUT OF THE CROWD, AND THEY'RE RUSHING THE RING!

MN: Because we got the Freaks - now it's time for the Geeks!

DT: Jecht and Max in as Leonard Johnson comes in from the outside! Pulling Johansson down from the ladder - MAX KILLS HIM WITH A POWERBOMB!!! Jecht now takes ahold of Storms - PRESS SLAM!

DM: And look at Johnson laughing his ass off!

DT: Second Coming can't even defend themselves! They're battered and bloodied after that hellacious match! Max brings Storms up - DAMMIT, MAXIMUM IMPACT TO BRYAN STORMS!!! AND JECHT FOLLOWS WITH THE JECHT BOMBER!!!

MN: NO! DOGG! GET UP AND KILL!!!

DM: I KNEW there was a reason Chuckles was at the booth.

DT: Now Blitz bringing Storms off the mat again - BLITZKRIEG!!! THE BLITZKRIEG HITS, AND BRYAN STORMS IS DOWN AND OUT!!!

MN: That was uncalled for!

DT: This crowd is booing like crazy as Leonard Johnson gets ahold of the microphone!

JOHNSON: As they say, to the victors go the spoils - and there's nothing I enjoy more than spoiling things for the victors. Storms, Johansson, what makes you two invalids believe that you really earned that title shot tonight? So you beat a furry freak and his loafy friend - but you still haven't beaten the perfect combination of strength and speed! You're NOTHING, my friends, until you can stand up and defeat Blitz in the ring.

DT: Wait a second...

MN: Huh?

[The cause of Dave Thomas’ distraction comes from an area in the barricade in the blind-spot of those in the ring, as a dark-haired man in jeans and a flannel shirt hops the barricade. The man’s uncanny speed leaves his image as a blur as he crosses over to the commentator’s desk. Mike Neely receives an unwelcoming surprise.]

JOHNSON (oblivious): This marks a new beginning in tag-team wrestling in Empire Pro Wrestling. From this day forward all will learn to fear this perfect combination, the strength, the speed.

MN: Whoa—

DT: Mike!

[The man, still unnamed but seemingly familiar, leaves the table, with Mike’s chair in hand. He quickly slides into the ring...]

DM: Mike, are you okay!

MN: That son of a bitch stole my chair!

DT: Who is that?!

JOHNSON: And - (notices Black) YOU!

[...and the man proceeds to decimate the members of Blitz in sequence. He opens up with a bullet-like sidekick into the face of Leonard Johnson, knocking him back into the turnbuckle. Before the competitive members of the team can react, Max finds his head enveloped in the chair. The mere surprise, as well as the impact, sends him to the mat like a ton of bricks. But before he even hits the ground, the unknown assailant has already laid attack on Jecht, delivering a swift kick to the gut, and following through with a double-underhook sit-down facedriver.]

DT: That’s...

DM: Jesus Christ, he kicked the livid SHIT out of them!

DT: Wait a minute, that’s—

MN: What about my chair, damnit?! I’m not doing this show standing up!

DT: That man is Erik Black!

MN: ...wait a second, did you say Erik Black?

DT: The very same...

DM: Holy shit.

[Black stands stolidly in the ring over his fallen victims, looking at his work with a disgusted look spread over his face. He looks briefly to Leonard Johnson, put into another world from the kick to his face. Then, on the outside of the ring, he notices Golem and Bryan Storms coming to their feet.]

DT: Erik Black of the Crimson Calling... the first and former EPW Tag Team Champions, who mysteriously left EPW earlier this year...

MN: But if he’s here, then where’s—

DT: OH MY GOD, LOOK OUT!!

[In an amazing spectacle of high-flying technique, Black sprints to the ropes, arcs over them in a graceful flip, and decimates both Golem and Storms on the spot.]

MN: WHOA!! What the hell is this?!

DT: That’s Erik Black—

MN: I know its Erik Black, but what the hell is GOING ON HERE?!

[Black quickly comes back to his feet and descends upon a wounded Bryan Storms, straddling his chest and laying into his face with a barrage of heavy rights. The look in his eyes is that of pure rage.]

DM: Where has Erik Black—and the Crimson Calling, for that matter—been all this time? Where are Ivan Dalkichev and Nathan Fear? And why the hell has Black gone totally APESHIT on the other teams!

DT: I can only imagine the answers to those questions, Mike... and I as well have no idea as to why Erik Black has come down here to engage in this TOTALLY unforeseen attack! ONE MAN is in total control of THREE TEAMS!!

MN: Wait, security is finally here!

[A troupe of black-shirted men boldly make their way down the ramp. Black’s eye quickly catches their presence, and he wisely comes off of Storms to make his retreat through the audience. A security guard quickly hops the barricade in pursuit, but Black, aggressively shoving people out of his way, disappears into the crowd.]