[The bell sounds. Cut to Tony Fatora standing in the center of the ring, looking typically Italian as he raises his mic.]

TONY FATORA: "Th' following contest... is scheduled for ONE fall, and is a stuh-rrREET fight, with falls counting anywhere! It will be contested f'r SIX MONTHS ownership of EM-piyah Prrrrro Wrestling!

DT: Folks, it looks like it's that time! The match that will decide the fate of Empire Pro Wrestling for fully half of the new year! When the dust settles, it'll be Dan Ryan or IrishRed taking the reins!

MN: It's the fine line between success and failure, and I'm rooting for success, babay! Go boss go!

[Even as Neely's speaking, the Empire-Tron kicks to life with a familiar video, and the rasp of "Zero" by the Smashing Pumpkins begins to pulse through the arena. The fans know the tune well. In a massive wave they rise to their feet and roar their approval even as the broad-bodied figure of Dan Ryan appears, illuminated darkly against the screen behind him. He steps forward and raises his arms to the crowd. The owner of the company has of course changed into his ring gear, and he's smirking the smirk of a cat ready to eat a mouse. With a brisk, confident stride he makes his way to the ring, slapping a few hands indifferently.]

TONY FATORA: Introducing first! He hails from Houston, Texas, and is the owner and chief executive of Em-piyah Pro Wrestling! He isssss DAAAAAAAAAAAAAN... RYYYYYAAAAAANNNNNN!!!

DT: And here comes the owner of the company, in fighting trim! You have to believe as you look at Dan Ryan that he's still in peak fighting shape.

DM: That's right, Dave Thomas. Even though he's a big-shot executive these days, with a guy like Dan Ryan he never loses that cutting edge. I don't think IrishRed knows what he's getting in to.

MN: Just like IrishRed is gonna get cut tonight! Haha! Who does he think he is, coming in here, attacking our boss - INSULTING his DEAD DAUGHTER?! IrishRed's gonna get KIIIIILED! Haha!

DT: I don't know if I'd go that far, but after the humiliation Dan Ryan has put IrishRed through these past few weeks and months, you have to believe that the former MBE Hardcore Champion has a score to settle.

[Bad Company by Bad Company starts to play over the loudspeakers. On the screen the name Irishred in blood red is shown across six four leaf clovers. As Music starts red and green pinpoint spots crisscross the arena and track Irishred as he walks down the ramp. Green cloverleaf spot on center of the ring as Irishred enters, stands with his head back and closed fists touching each other in front of his chest. When he spreads his arms wide the cloverleaf turns to red.]

TONY FATORA: And introducing the challenger! He hails from Yankton, South Dakota, and he weight in at two hundred an' thirty-five pounds! Thisssss issss IRIIIIIISH... RRRRRRREEEEEEEED!!!

MN: Well, Burgerman, looks to me like IrishRed is gonna settle his score right into an early grave. Okay, maybe this guy can beat Hans the Incontinent Viking or the Mongolian Monkeyboy, but he's in a whole different ballgame now!

DT: I wouldn't sell IrishRed short, Neels. This guy has been around this business, and if you look at the fury in his face right now -

DM: - I agree, Dave Thomas. IrishRed has been humiliated and brought low by Dan Ryan, and tonight is his change to pay that back in spades!

MN: The only spade around here is the one Dan Ryan's gonna be using to BURY IrishRed! Woooo!

DT: These two men squaring off in the ring - God, they're just dying to get at each other, and referee David Rosenkrantz can barely hold them apart!

[SFX: *DING* - The bell rings.]

DT: Rosenkrantz back out of ground zero and RYAN JUST LEVELS IRISHRED WITH A HUGE RIGHT HAND TO THE FACE! IrishRed hits the mat like a ton of bricks and now Ryan putting the boots to him! The Ego Buster just stomping away at the IrishRed like a wild dog!

DM: He's got him backed up into the corner and we're just seconds into this match!

DT: Ryan just putting those huge boat-sized feet to the head and chest of IrishRed! Now grabs him by the hair and SLAMS his head into the turnbuckle, and Red's stunned right from the get-go!

MN: The boss is just LAYING down the LAW here! IrishRed doesn't have a chance in Hell!

DT: Now Ryan picks up IrishRed - BIG body slam, and now he's heading out under the bottom rope and to the floor! He's... heading our way?

MN: Oh hey boss!

RYAN, offmic: Get up, Neely.

MN: --Oh, uh, okay! Kick his ass, boss!

DT: Well, fans, Dan Ryan has just taken Mike Neely's chair and we're barely a minute into this match!

DM: He's just hitting the gas and taking off, Dave, and - wait a second - IRISHRED IS UP ON THE APRON AND HE COMES DOWN ONTO DAN RYAN WITH A DOUBLE AXEHANDLE TO THE HEAD!

DT: IrishRed out of nowhere with the axehandle off the apron, and Ryan falls back over our table! IrishRed laying the huge lefts and rights into the face of the big man! -Oh, watch out, they're falling right over our table!

MN: Geez! Look at them go!

DT: Red getting the better of it - grabs a MONITOR and SLAMS IT AGAINST THE FOREHEAD OF DAN RYAN! Ryan's in a daze - Red pulls him up and SHOVES him over the barricade and into the audience!

DM: Like the parting of the Red Sea, the fans are making way for Dan Ryan and IrishRed!

DT: Now Red over the barricade with the monitor in hand, but a dazed Dan Ryan is on his feet... Red swings the MONITOR - OH MY GOD DAN RYAN JUST USED A FAN AS A HUMAN SHIELD!!! THAT INNOCENT FAN JUST GOT SMASHED IN THE FACE WITH A TV MONITOR AND HE'S DOWN LIKE A TON OF BRICKS!

DM: HOLY ####! We are SO SUED - AND NOW RYAN BLASTS IRISHRED IN THE FACE WITH A HUGE FIST! ANOTHER ONE and IrishRed's falling back against the ring barricade!

MN: Geez, this match has barely started and already, the carnage!

DT: Ryan taking ahold of the arm of IrishRed - Irish whip to the Irishman straight down the aisle - OH, an EPW security guard just stuck his FOOT out and TRIPPED IrishRed, and down goes the smaller man!

DM: And there you see one of Dan Ryan's biggest advantages: He's got the entire EPW staff on his side, and he's not afraid to use them to get an edge here tonight! Who else are we going to see coming out of the woodwork to attack IrishRed?

DT: Ryan with Neely's chair in hand now, stalking manfully up the aisle... takes a HUGE overhand swing at IrishRed, but Red rolls out of the way just in time! Ryan swings again, but Red gets out of the way in the nick of time and jumps back through the doors into the concession area! Ryan's right behind him and RED KICKS THE DOORS CLOSED AND SMASHES THEM INTO RYAN!

DM: Ryan stunned - and Red opens the doors and FLIES THROUGH WITH A CLOTHESLINE! RYAN'S DOWN!

MN: Aaaaah! He can't do that!

DT: It's a street fight, Mike Neely - anything goes, and IrishRed is using that to his advantage! Red picks up Neely's chair - and SLAMS IT ACROSS THE BACK OF DAN RYAN, AND THE EGO BUSTER IS HOWLING IN PAIN! AGAIN RED WITH THE CHAIR, AND ONE MORE FOR THE ROAD!

MN: Somebody stop him! How dare he use my chair for those wicked purposes!

DT: Red tossing the chair aside now and going for the cover! One - TWO - Ryan kicks out with authority!

DM: A few chair shots won't take the Ego Buster down; he's a former World Champion in his own right and he can take a LOT of punishment!

DT: With a heave IrishRed pulls Ryan up from the floor and drags him through the door by the arm, into the lobby and concession area... SHOVES Dan Ryan up against a solid brick wall and lays in a few chops! Ryan's still dazed, but he reels with the blows!

MN: Somebody's got to stop that dwarf! Aaaah!

DT: There's the Irish whip by IrishRed - DAN RYAN SMACKS FACE-FIRST INTO THE OPPOSITE WALL, JUST FEET AWAY, AND STUMBLES RIGHT BACK INTO IRISHRED! Red turns - OH MY GOD GERMAN SUPLEX ONTO THE UNFORGIVING TILE FLOOR!!!

DM: HE HOLDS ON FOR A BRIDGE!

ONE -

TWO -

RYAN KICKS OUT!

DT: Good GOD, I think I see CRACKS in those tiles!

MN: I think I see cracks in the boss' NECK! Damn that IrishRed!

DT: Dan Ryan is seeing STARS here as a visibly intent IrishRed pulls him off the floor! Chops for good measure, and Ryan's weaving on his feet! Irish whip by the smaller man - WAIT, RYAN IS SOMEHOW ABLE TO REVERSE IT - IRISHRED GOES FLYING INTO THE T-SHIRT STAND AND THE WHOLE THING COLLAPSES!!!

DM: And DOWN GOES RYAN, too! He pulled that whip out of NOWHERE, and now he's down and holding his head in pain!

DT: But look at IrishRed! He's struggling to pull himself out of the wreckage, dazed, hurt... AND HE'S GOT A LINDSAY TROY T-SHIRT SOMEHOW TANGLED OVER HIS HEAD!!!

MN: Haha! That's the best I've ever seen him look!

DT: --Wait a second, THE T-SHIRT GUY JUST SLUGGED IRISHRED IN THE BACK! IT'S ANOTHER OF DAN RYAN'S CRONIES! IRISH RED TURNS AND POPS THE T-SHIRT GUY IN THE MOUTH, AND DOWN HE GOES!

DM: AND HERE COMES THE JANITOR!!!

DT: OUT OF NOWHERE HERE COMES JIMMY THE JANITOR WITH MOP IN HAND! CRACKS IRISH RED IN THE BACK WITH IT! RED FALLS TO HIS KNEES! JIMMY THE JANITOR AGAIN - NO, RED SPEARS HIM TO THE GROUND AND PUNCHES HIM IN THE HEAD SIX OR EIGHT TIMES!

MN: GO, MINOR SERVICE STAFF! SAVE GRAND MASTER DAN RYAN!!!

DT: THIS IS DESPICABLE! The service staff ATTACKING IrishRed while Dan Ryan just stands there recovering his wind and laughing! And IrishRed is ENRAGED! RUSHES Dan Ryan - NO, Ryan BOOTS HIM RIGHT IN THE FACE AND KNOCKS HIM TO THE TILE FLOOR!

MN: Hey, there's an idea! When IrishRed loses this match and gets thrown out of the business he could get a job polishing boots for a living! Haha!

DM: When?

DT: Ryan not letting IrishRed recover; he grabs him by the neck and pulls him to his feet, drags him over to the hot dog stand and BASHES his face on it! There's a line of fans there just waiting to be served!

MN: What's he doing now- he's going behind the hot dog stand!

[RYAN: Hi, somebody order a weenie?]

DT: -- MY GOD, CHOKESLAM!!! CHOKESLAM!!! DAN RYAN WITH THE HUGE CHOKESLAM AND HE DRILLS IRISHRED THROUGH THE WEENIE STAND!!! GOOD GOD, THE CARNAGE!!! AND IRISHRED HAS BEEN BUSTED OPEN PRETTY BAD!!!

[RYAN: One jumbo-sized weenie, good to go!]

DT: THIS IS JUST DISRESPECTFUL AND SICK!! -AW, AND NOW HE PUTS THE FOOT ON IRISHRED'S CHEST!

One -

TWO -

IRISHRED KICKED OUT!!!

DM: What heart IrishRed has! He's not going to quit until he's given Dan Ryan everything he's got!

MN: No, he's gonna quit TONIGHT! Haha!

DT: Dan Ryan is not happy with this! He pulls a bloodied Red to his feet by the hair, and just belts him in the face! And again! Now picks him up press-slam style - my god, Ryan's CARRYING IrishRed through the lobby like a toy!

MN: Where's he goin'?

DM: Looks like he's heading for the exit!

DT: Ryan with IrishRed held high over his head, stops in front of the big glass front doors...GOOD GOD, HE'S GONNA THROW HIM THROUGH THE DOORS!!! NO! NO, BOSS, DON'T DO IT! GOOD GOD, DON'T DO IT -

DM: --HE DID IT!!! AAAH!!!

DT: MY GOD!!! DAN RYAN JUST HURLED IRISHRED AT THOSE GLASS DOORS AND SOMEHOW THE GLASS HELD!!! THERE'S A HUGE SPIDERWEB OF CRACKS WHERE RED HIT THE GLASS BUT IRISHRED DIDN'T BREAK THROUGH AND NOW HE'S ON THE FLOOR IN A HEAP!!!

MN: AWWWWH!

DM: IrishRed isn't moving, guys! He hit that door pretty hard!

DT: Ryan looking down at the limp IrishRed and SMIRKING! Now poking him with the toe of his boot!

MN: It's SO over.

DT: With a chuckle Ryan reaches down to pick up the limp IrishRed... my God... I can't believe he's gonna put him through more Hell!

DM: -- WAIT A SECOND, RED WITH THE DROP TOE HOLD--

***KSSSSSH***

DT: OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!! RED WITH THE DROP TOE HOLD AND DAN RYAN JUST WENT FALLING FORWARD TO SMASH THROUGH THAT GLASS DOOR!!! MY GOD, THE CARNAGE!!! THE CARNAGE!!!

MN: MY GOD, HE KILLED HIM!!! RYAN'S BLEEDING FROM A THOUSAND LITTLE GLASS CUTS!!!

DT: DAN RYAN WANTED TO SEND IRISHRED THROUGH THE GLASS BUT IRISHRED, IN DESPERATION, GAVE HIM A PIECE OF HIS OWN MEDICINE -- MY GOD, IRISHRED LEAPS THROUGH THE DOORFRAME!!! COLD SHOT!!! THAT KNEE TO THE KIDNEYS OF DAN RYAN!!!

MN: NO!!! IT CAN'T END LIKE THIS!!!

DT: IRISHRED WITH THE COVER!!!

ONE!!!


TWO!!!



THREE!!!



--NO!!! REFEREE ROSENKRANTZ IS SAYING DAN RYAN GOT THAT SHOULDER UP IN TIME!!!

MN: YEEEEEEEESSSSS!!!

DM: Dan Ryan just got THROWN THROUGH A GLASS DOOR and had a KNEE SLAMMED INTO HIS KIDNEYS, and he still kicked out! I guess waiting to catch his wind back there while the staff beat up IrishRed paid off!

DT: IrishRed doesn't believe it! He rolls Dan Ryan over into the glass and starts POUNDING ON HIS FACE WITH BOTH HANDS, and oh god Dan Ryan's bleeding from all over his forehead!

MN: Look at what IrishRed's done to him! That's horrible!

DT: Those hard right hands to the SKULL of the owner of EPW, and IrishRed now coming to his feet - looking around for something he can use as a weapon! Looks like he's also bleeding from the forehead heavily! Guess he hit that glass pretty hard himself!

DM: Both of these men have taken a lot of punishment already!

DT: Uh-oh, IrishRed spots... something! He starts down the big flight of stairs leading up to the arena... hey, look, there's a couple of bums out there huddled around a burning drum of something!

MN: --Hahaha! IrishRed just pulled the coat off a bum!

DT: IrishRed with that ratty, smelly bum's coat held in both hands... my God... MY GOD IRISHRED JUST TOOK THE COAT BY THE SLEEVES AND WHIPPED THE OTHER END OF IT INTO THE BURNING DRUM!!!

DM: IRISHRED HAS A ******* FLAMING WHIP!!!

DT: DAMMIT, SOMEONE NEEDS TO STOP THIS MATCH!!! THIS IS JUST INHUMANE AND WRONG!!! IRISHRED STARTING UP THE STAIRS, THAT FLAMING COAT SPINNING ABOVE HIS HEAD!!! Ryan's just made it up to a knee!

MN: SOMEONE STOP HIM -

DT: IRISHRED WHIPS THAT FLAMING COAT ACROSS DAN RYAN'S BACK, AND RYAN IS SCREAMING IN AGONY!!! THIS ISN'T RIGHT!!! GOD, IRISHRED AGAIN FLOGGING RYAN ACROSS THE BACK WITH THE FIREBRAND, AND LOOK AT THE ANGRY RED MARKS ACROSS DAN RYAN'S BODY!!! SOMEONE NEEDS TO STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!!!

DM: IRISHRED HAS SNAPPED!!! LISTEN TO HIM CURSING AND HOWLING AS HE HAMMERS AT DAN RYAN WITH THAT FLAMING BUM COAT!!!

DT: THIS IS JUST INHUMAN!!! IRISHRED IS NOT LETTING UP!!!

DM: --RYAN SUDDENLY SPRINGS UP FROM THE GROUND AND SPEARS THE HOLY HELL OUT OF IRISHRED WITH ONE HUGE BURST OF ADRENALINE!!!

DT: SPEAR!!! THAT SPEAR COULD'VE KNOCKED OUT A BRICK WALL AND OH MY GOD BOTH MEN FALL OFF THE STAIR AND THEY'RE TUMBLING ALL THE WAY DOWN FROM TOP TO BOTTOM! LISTENING TO THOSE SICKENING THUDS AS DAN RYAN AND IRISHRED BOUNCE DOWN THOSE COLD AND UNFORGIVING CONCRETE STAIRS!!!

MN: AAAAH! They probably broke something!

DT: Well, looks like IrishRed dropped that flaming coat near the top of the stairs, but both men have hit the bottom and are lying there bleeding and hurt! I can't believe the carnage we have already seen tonight, but it looks like both men are starting to stir!

MN: Dan Ryan has been on the bad end of a lot of this stuff, but what goes around, comes around! IrishRed isn't gonna make it!

DM: They're slowly getting up!

DT: With a little help from the railing, Dan Ryan is the first to make it to his feet, however, unsteadily... IrishRed on his hands and knees, crawling across the concrete... Ryan staggers after him... pulls him to his feet and SLAMS him face-first into - wait, that wasn't there a minute ago!

DM: It's a bus! Ryan just slammed IrishRed into the side of a Greyhound bus that just pulled up!

MN: Maybe when Red loses this match he can DRIVE that bus for a living!

DT: Ryan turns Red around - chop across the chest! Red reverses him! Chop! Another chop! Ryan reverses again! Now Red - and they've reversed their way to the door and - WHAT THE HELL LOOK WHO JUST JUMPED OFF THE BUS!!!

MN: IT'S ICE TRE!!!

[Leaping out of the bus with a chortle, Ice Tre brandishes a 2x4! Both Ryan and IrishRed seem thrown off by the distraction.]

DM: IrishRed is, of course, yet ANOTHER participant in the upcoming King of the Cage tournament and -- Tre is cocking back with that heavy 2x4!!

DT: He SWINGS for RED! RED DUCKS!!!

MN: Tre BLASTS the BOSS with a 2x4!!! Dan Ryan goes down!! Ice Tre drops it in shock and dismay!!

DT: Irish Red KICKS Tre in the gut, hooks him -- DDT ONTO THE 2X4!!! Tre is busted open!!

DM: And Irish Red goes right back on task, going after Dan Ryan with that 2x4!! Tre is being helped away by those two bums, he is bleeding proFUSEly!

DT: What a NIGHT!

MN: You gotta hand it to Tre, the stupid bastard! He takes a beating and keeps on coming!

DT: But he just inserted himself into a WARZONE!

DM: Welcome to EPW, Ice Tre!!!

DT: Now Red pulling Dan Ryan to his feet... slams him against the side of the bus - which happens to be the OPEN DOOR and BOTH MEN tumble aboard the Greyhound!

[CUT TO: The bus. The passengers gasp in surprise.]

DM: Dan Ryan and IrishRed are on a bus!

DT: Ryan manages to shove Red up against the toll box and starts hammering at the head and shoulders - Wait a minute, the bus driver just broke it up!

[DRIVER: No shenanigans on the bus!]

MN: What?! This isn't shenanigans, it's wrestling!

DM: Ryan and Red just look at the bus driver, and I think they're both out of it!

[DRIVER: C'mon, pay the fares!]

DT: I don't think Dan Ryan realized it, but he's just pulled out a crisp new twenty-dollar bill from his trunks and paid the bus driver!

[DRIVER: Siddown. Next stop, Vegas!]

DM: VEGAS?!

MN: WHAT?!

DT: MY GOD, DAN RYAN AND IRISH RED ARE ON A GREYHOUND BUS TO VEGAS!!! And now they're looking at each other, realizing what's happening... Red DECKS RYAN IN THE FACE BUT THE BUS DRIVER BREAKS IT UP!!!

[DRIVER: HEY! I said NO SHENANIGANS!!!]

DM: Wait a...

DT: Ryan and Red looking at each other again, looking at the referee David Rosenkrantz who is ALSO on the bus...

MN: But... but what's gonna happen to the match?!

DT: Well, I dunno, but Ryan and Red are shuffling to the back of the bus and taking their seats, with the referee between them, and it looks like we're going to Vegas!

MN: But- but the match!

DT: I... don't know what's going to happen, Neels, but I guess we'll have to take a break and move on to the next contest while Dan Ryan and IrishRed are on the road to the City of Sin!

DM: Man... this match is NOT over! We will come RIGHT back to watch the action!