The scene opens to the sounds of a back yard Fourth Of July barbeque. The sun is shining brightly in the sky and there isn’t a cloud in sight. There is a splash and then churning in the pool, followed by the sound of someone getting out and walking slowly along the pavement. We turn the corner of the household to see the backyard of The Undertaker and Sara Calaway. Sara is nowhere to be found, but we see a trail of water leading from the pool steps to the side lounging chair, where the large frame of The Undertaker sits, eyes covered by dark sunglasses.

The sliding door opens to reveal Tracy, Sara’s best friend who’s staying with the couple at their house and on the road for the next few weeks. She was carrying a boom-box, chord dragging behind her. Placing it under the porch she forgot to close the door, causing Tucker, the Calaway’s Rottweiler pup, who was growing very quickly, to run out and sprint toward Taker. Not expecting it, Taker jumped to feel tiny claws tear into his bare stomach, causing him to immediately sit up with a grunt.

The Undertaker[A Badass American]: Fuckin’ Tucker! That hurt like a bitch!

Putting pressure on the claw marks he rubbed them before roughly petting the pup as Tracy turned on the radio.

Tracy [The Bestie]: Sorry about that Mark.

He gave her an emotionless expression before smiling it off.

The Undertaker[A Badass American]: It’s fine.

After having his fair share of wrestling and his tummy being rubbed, Tucker quickly got to his feet and raced to the his water bowl Tracy was filling.

Sara appeared out of the sliding door this time, dressed in a perfectly fitting bikini. Hair done in two braids cascading over her shoulders she whistled for Tucker after he had some water and let him go back into the air conditioning.

Sara[The Center of This Story]: Beautiful weather for the fourth! Mark you gonna put on some burgers soon?

The Undertaker[A Badass American]: Mhm.

Sara[The Center of This Story]: Santino will be here in a few minutes, he’s been traveling, I’m sure he’ll be at least a little hungry by the time he makes it.

The Undertaker[A Badass American]: Why should I care?

Sara[The Center of This Story]: Mark, you said you’d be good.

The Undertaker[A Badass American]: What I said and what I end up doing are two totally different things babe.

He lifted up his glasses slightly to give her a smile before putting them back on and laying back again. Sara gave him an agitated look before he got up to his feet and worked his way to set up the grill.

Tracy [The Bestie]: Aren’t you worried Mark is going to blow up again and literally kill Santino?

Sara[The Center of This Story]: I talked to him about it, I don’t think he will and if he does, at least Santino won’t get any ideas. But Santino had to come over today, he really doesn’t have any family.

Tracy nodded and switched through the radio stations until she found one that suited her needs, just as a figure came around the side of the house; Santino.

Santino Marella[Unlikely Italian Ally]: Ladies and gentleman, I have arrived.

Everyone turned to look at him, Sara approached and gave him a gentle hug, showing that everything was okay between the two of them, Tracy did the same.

The Undertaker[A Badass American]: Oh look, princess is here!

Santino Marella[Unlikely Italian Ally]: Oh shush Mr. Deadguy.

The Undertaker[A Badass American]: I’m the one making your food, better watch it, I’ve been known to poison a fella or two.

Sara[The Center of This Story]: Cut it out already…how was the trip here Santino?

Santino Marella[Unlikely Italian Ally]: Pretty good, nothing out of the ordinary yanno?

Tracy [The Bestie]: Glad to hear it, no delays…especially on a holiday.

Santino nodded.

Santino Marella[Unlikely Italian Ally]: One thing’s for sure, I’m definitely, hot and clammy, Imma go change into the suit swim and take a dip, if that’s okay.

With that he moved in toward the sliding door and disappeared inside.

The Undertaker[A Badass American]: I’m gonna kill him.

Sara walked over and held onto her husband’s arm.

Sara[The Center of This Story]: Mark, we talked about this.

The Undertaker[A Badass American]: I can’t get him forcing himself on you out of my head.

Sara[The Center of This Story]: Mark, he was drunk. You’ve done questionable things when you were drunk. It happens; we’re all adults here.

The Undertaker[A Badass American]: He’s a questionable adult.

Sara[The Center of This Story]: Don’t ruin this holiday for all of us.

He grunted as the sliding door opened to reveal Santino, standing in a very skimpy and high cut bathing suit.

The Undertaker[A Badass American]: Where’s the other part of the suit Santino?

Santino Marella[Unlikely Italian Ally]: Very funny!

With that Santino approached the diving board, and not so gracefully dove into the pool, leaving Tracy laughing hysterically at his obnoxious dive.

Santino Marella[Unlikely Italian Ally]: How do you like that dive Mr. Deadman?

Sara[The Center of This Story]: Whoa he said, Deadman, not Deadguy.

The Undertaker[A Badass American]: Thank god he finally caught on.

Santino continued to float around the pool and Sara noticed Tracy following him wherever he floated.

Sara[The Center of This Story]: Trace?

Tracy [The Bestie]: Hm?

Sara[The Center of This Story]: Do you…

The Undertaker[A Badass American]: Food’s done!

Santino Marella[Unlikely Italian Ally]: ABOUT TIME!

Santino got up out of the water, as Taker walked with the food to the porch table.

Settling down everyone got their fixings, of burger or hot dog and condiments to go along with it. Santino munched on a hot dog.

Santino Marella[Unlikely Italian Ally]: Yummy in my belly!

The Undertaker[A Badass American]: You’re used to small dogs aren’t you Santino?

Santino slowed down his chewing before placing the hot dog on his plate.

Santino Marella[Unlikely Italian Ally]: You think you’re funny Mr. Deadguy, oh but you are anot!

The Undertaker[A Badass American]: You sure about that?

Santino Marella[Unlikely Italian Ally]: QUITE sure!

The Undertaker[A Badass American]: Well you know what I’m sure about?

Sara[The Center of This Story]: MARK, Santino, CUT IT OUT.

The Undertaker[A Badass American]: No, no Sara, let me get this out.

Santino Marella[Unlikely Italian Ally]: If Mr. Deadguy has something to say…well let em’ say it!

Taker stands up and rolls his neck.

The Undertaker[A Badass American]: I’m sure, that if I would have been able to do what I wanted to do to you the other night, you wouldn’t be breathing right now. I’m SURE, that if I did what I wanted to do to you right now, you wouldn’t be breathing in a few minutes. I’m sure that I would do bodily harm to you, because Santino, I just want to break your neck in half.

There was silence for a few moments, Santino gulped loudly.

Santino Marella[Unlikely Italian Ally]: YOU HURT ME!? Why on earth would you want to hurt ME! What could I have possibly done…THE OTHER NIGHT…to make you so mad?

The Undertaker[A Badass American]: It’s hard to believe you don’t remember a damn thing.

Santino Marella[Unlikely Italian Ally]: Well Ia don’t.

The Undertaker[A Badass American]: You were dancing on top of a table which was funny as hell…until you brought my wife up on it and attempted to make out with her.

Santino formed an “OHHH” expression with his face, slowly backing up as Taker got closer.

Santino Marella[Unlikely Italian Ally]: I….Mr. Deadguy…didn’t mean anything by it…alcohol does crazy things…

The Undertaker[A Badass American]: So we witnessed.

Tracy ran forward and came between the two of them, as Taker kept walking forward.

Tracy [The Bestie]: Mark…let’s think about this again…okay?

Santino Marella[Unlikely Italian Ally]: Yes MAHK.

The Undertaker[A Badass American]: Don’t call me that.

With that, Santino got his foot caught on the hose, causing him to stumble backwards, dragging Tracy along with him. Trying to grab Tracy, Taker stumbled forward also, and with little grace at all, all three of them crashed to the water’s surface, leaving Sara laughing hysterically on the porch.

Taker not dressed in a bathing suit, came up for air first, standing and slapping the water with anger.

The Undertaker[A Badass American]: Damn it Santino!

Santino and Tracy came up next, realizing she was still in his arms, Tracy looked up and smiled.

Santino Marella[Unlikely Italian Ally]: So, sorry ‘bout that.

Santino spit out the remaining water in his mouth as Sara approached the side of the pool and looked down at her beloved family. With Sara beginning to laugh, it led everyone to laugh; even Taker had a small smirk on his face.

Sara[The Center of This Story]: If only people saw inside my life, saw how crazy it is. Maybe they would understand why I get my aggression out in the ring…because you guys make me crazy, I got to let it all out before I go absolutely insane.

The Undertaker[A Badass American]: Yea, yea, yea.

Slowly Taker approached before quickly grabbing Sara by the forearm and dragging her into the pool.

Laughing she splashed him and stood up, only to wrap her arms around his neck.

The Undertaker[A Badass American]: Your first match as champ is on Meltdown in a few days….you got that handled?

Sara[The Center of This Story]: If I can handle you about to kill Santino every five seconds, and if I could handle that bitch Dawn Marie…well yea, I think I have Maryse handled too.

The Undertaker[A Badass American]: Mhm.

Taker looked over to Santino, pointed and said:

The Undertaker[A Badass American]: Watch your ass, no foolin’ around anymore.

Santino nodded and continued to talk to Tracy, both of them seeming to be in intriguing conversation.

The Undertaker[A Badass American]: I think you started something between them.

Sara[The Center of This Story]: I don’t know yet; we’ll see. But back to Maryse, I haven’t seen much of her so I gotta cover all grounds. Gotta be prepared…

The Undertaker[A Badass American]: Babe, I think you already have all your bases covered.

He lifted her off the pool so she was sitting on the side, feet still in.

The Undertaker[A Badass American]: It’s good to be focused, to prepare, but with Maryse…pfft…babe…you’ll be just fine.

Sara rolled her eyes.

Sara[The Center of This Story]: The infamous Undertaker is telling me not to prepare?

The Undertaker[A Badass American]: No, you absolutely have to prepare, but don’t kill yourself over it.

Sara[The Center of This Story]: You don’t want me to kill myself over it because you have other things in mind.

The Undertaker[A Badass American]: It’s Fourth Of July…gotta celebrate.

Sara[The Center of This Story]: No, I’ll prepare, and come Meltdown we’ll have another victory to add to the record books.

The Undertaker[A Badass American]: Does that mean no celebrating?

Sara[The Center of This Story]: We’ll see.

The scene fades with a slow kiss between husband and wife, as a new romance is slowly starting to bud behind them.

END ROLEPLAY.