Los Angeles, California - January 24, 2009

Pre-Show Results:
 Matt Sydal d Grizzly Redwood
 Rocky Romero d Sal Rinauro

[[ Fade Up ]]

[[ As the pay-per-view intro airs, the camera cuts to the entrance of the arena. Chris Jericho, the LoC World title on his shoulder, leads the way as the remaining members of the Standard follow in behind him. The dominant stable looks ready for action tonight, their title belts shining brightly in the lights of the ceiling. ]]

Chris Jericho: Tonight's the night.

[[ Jericho stops dead in his tracks, turning a full one-eighty, facing his teammates. ]]

Chris Jericho: The things we've done leading up to this, grains of sand in an hour glass. Meaningless.

[[ He clinches a fist in front of them. ]]

Chris Jericho: Unless we finish the job tonight on pay-per-view.

[[ Jericho looks at each and every individual member, making total eye contact. ]]

Chris Jericho: Tonight, The Standard cements its legacy as the most dominant group in this sport's history. Tonight, we remove threats from our radar. After this show, those who stand against us will be few. We've laid the foundation. We've set an example of what we're capable of doing. League of Champions belongs to each and every one of us in this circle of trust right now.

[[ Nods all around. ]]

Chris Jericho: I WILL leave still LoC World Champion, no matter the cost. Kurt Angle and Bryan Danielson both want something I have. Danielson wants my title, Angle wants my life. It's humorous. Those two are like dogs chasing cars. They'd have no idea what they'd do when they actually caught one.. They're all talk. All hype. Chris Jericho is the one true, legitimate man in this company. People think I should be worried.. I'm not. I fear no man. I am the World Champion, I am Chris Jericho.. I am the man who has given this company new breath, new life.. And I will be the man who burns this company to the ground.

[[ Jericho slaps Orton's Tag Team title belt. ]]

Chris Jericho: It's up to you guys to eliminate Adam Pearce and Rhino.

[[ Jericho turns to Edge. ]]

Chris Jericho: No second guessing what I say ever again.

[[ Edge shows no emotion. ]]

Chris Jericho: Got it?

Edge: Yeah.

Chris Jericho: Getting rid of Christian Cage was a blessing in disguise. He was dead weight. He was a black eye to this group. His one second of doubt was enough of a stab in the back to merit what he received. He wanted to align himself with this group AND be friends with a man who wants to take one half of the World Tag Team titles tonight.

[[ Jericho tilts his head back, soaking in the memories of last week. ]]

Chris Jericho: He burnt his bridge with Rhino.. Then we crushed him. Now, Christian Cage is beaten, humiliated, and isolated from the entire company. He's burned all the bridges he's had. We want nothing to do with him.. And do you honestly think CM Punk and the rest of the LoC locker room will accept him with open arms?

[[ He shakes his head. ]]

Chris Jericho: Not a chance.

[[ Jericho smiles proudly. ]]

Chris Jericho: This is a family. It's about loyalty. Edge, you almost second guessed your loyalty last week. Tonight, you make up for it. You and Orton.. Need to obliterate Rhino. Adam Pearce is a wounded dog, awaiting someone to put him out of his misery. But you know the fight Rhino has in him. He needs eliminated.. Tonight.

Randy Orton: Consider it done.

Edge: No one's taking these titles from us. No one.

[[ Edge takes a step closer to Jericho. ]]

Edge: I'm as loyal to this damn group as anyone. I did the deed. I was a part of the ousting of Christian last week. So.. Here's a suggestion.. Don't
EVER question my loyalty again.

[[ Edge is very blunt, surprising the group by standing up to Jericho. ]]

Edge: Got me?

Chris Jericho: Prove it then.

Edge: It doesn't need proven. Tonight, Rhino and Adam Pearce are going to drown in their own blood in the middle of the ring. Randy Orton and Edge.. STILL LoC WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!

[[ Jericho likes what he sees, the fire returning to Edge, one of his most valuable allies. ]]

Chris Jericho: What we will accomplish tonight heading into a new month.. Untouchable.

[[ The Standard continue making their way to the locker room area as we immediately cut to the ring for our first match of the night. ]]

Match One: Singles Match
 Davey Richards vs. Rhett Titus

[[ The bell rings and Rhett Titus is immediately jumped by Davey Richards. Richards' entire offense is going after the injured eye of Titus, now covered with a pink eye patch. Richards' offense is more stiff than usual tonight, the kicks are making Titus' chest red with every kick delivered. TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER! Richards refuses to pin Titus and hangs him in a tree of woe. Davey charges at Titus and stops a foot in front of him.. PUNCH TO THE TESTICLES! KICK TO THE TESTICLES! ELBOW TO THE TESTICLES! Titus grabs his crotch and screams in pain as Davey is now kicking Titus repeatedly in the face until Titus mercifully falls off the turnbuckles and onto the mat. Richards blows snot on Titus and then points to the floor and yells "CHRIS!!!" Richards dives on the ground and quickly applies the CRIPPLER CROSSFACE! Titus is now unconscious and the referee calls for the bell! Davey continues to apply the hold, refusing to let go at the request of the referee and Larry Sweeney. Titus is still out cold, enduring a hellacious beating tonight in the opening match. The referee finally calls for the bell again, reversing the decision! ]]

Winners: Rhett Titus via Overturned Decision

[[ Paramedics enter the ring to check on the condition of Rhett Titus, who is bleeding profusely after the beat down given to him from the hands of Davey Richards. Sweeney looks at Davey, furious for having the match overturned, costing him the extra money he'd received for winning the match. Sweeney grabs a microphone as the fans chanting "DAVE-Y-RICH-ARDS!" This chant confuses Davey AND Sweeney both. ]]

Larry Sweeney: QUIT CHANTIN' THIS MAN'S NAME! HE DOESN'T NEED THE SUPPORT OF YOU BUMS IN LOS ANGELES!

[[ Davey agrees with Sweeney, but the chants continue. ]]

Larry Sweeney: Davey Richards might have cost me a pretty penny tonight, but baby, I got a deal struck earlier tonight that has made up for it! HAHA! It's made my pockets fatter, and my United States Champion relaxed and calm about tonight's show! Ya' see, Tyler Black isn't gonna' be fightin' Morishima! Oh no, oh no! See, Tyler Black gave me a phone call, and we.. STRUCK A DEAL, DADDY!

[[ Sweeney struts around the ring and finishes his thought. ]]

Larry Sweeney: We want no problems with the Age of the Fall, and Tyler Black.. Rightfully so.. Didn't wanna' face Morishima! He said there were bigger fish to try, and all you bums in California WON'T GET TO SEE THIS MAN FIGHT!

[[ Morishima's music hits and he comes down from the back, the United States title on his shoulder. He enters the ring and raises the title in the air, drawing boos from the fans, but applauds and praise from Larry Sweeney. ]]

Larry Sweeney: Tyler Black went to the SUPER AGENT! He went to the MAN WITH THE PLAN! He went to a man that MAKES THINGS HAPPEN! He gave me a hefty sum of cash and I made matches happen! After a brief meeting with Ricky the Dragon, things got straightened out. Tonight, CM Punk's gonna' be defendin' that Elite Championship..

[[ He looks into the camera inside the ring. ]]

Larry Sweeney: AGAINST TYLER BLACK! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

[[ The fans are actually pumped for this match taking place later on tonight. ]]

Larry Sweeney: And Punk, I hope you lose, pal! As for you smelly bums in this joint tonight.. Morishima has the night off! Him defendin' this belt is like the gays gettin' married.. AIN'T GONNA' HAPPEN! NEVER! NOT WITHOUT THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF CASH! THIS MAN IS A HOT COMMODITY! People are wantin' cracks at the belt, and they haven't earned it! They haven't brokered the deals to make it happen! And until that time comes, Takeshi Morishima is goin' back to Japan.. AND HE'S STAYIN'!

[[ The light go dim and the red strobe lights begin spinning at the entrance as the "The Truth" by Beanie Sigel and the Kill Bill intro hits and Homicide comes running down into the ring with a referee by the collar! The referee is being drug down the ramp as Sweeney is screaming "NO! IT'S NOT GONNA' HAPPEN!" Morishima drops the belt and looks prepared for action! The fans are pumped, anxiously awaiting Homicide versus Morishima. The referee signals for the bell after a threat from Homicide. Sweeney actually balls up on Homicide, getting into his face and telling him this match WILL NOT happen! ]]

Larry Sweeney: Get to steppin', Homicide, you bum!

[[ Homicide grabs Sweeney by the shirt, threatening to punch him! The fans are screaming for him to do it, but here comes Morishima! Morishima knocks Homicide to the back and Sweeney gets a few stomps in before referee Nick Patrick forces him out of the ring. I guess we have ourselves an United States title match here tonight after all! Larry Sweeney is insanely nervous outside, knowing he didn't make the match and had no control of it whatsoever! ]]

Match Two: LoC United States Championship
 Takeshi Morishima vs. Homicide

[[ Homicide pops back up and begins throwing haymakers at Morishima, trying to stagger the big man, but to no success. Morishima ends Homicide's offensive onslaught quickly with a lariat. BACK DROP DRIVER! ONE, KICK OUT! Homicide is fired up! Morishima and Sweeney both are stunned at the kick out at one! ACE CUTTER! One, two, NO! Homicide stomps away on Morishima. He goes up top, FROG SPLASH! ONE, TWO, NO! Morishima is up, pissed. Sidewalk slam! Big splash! He picks Homicide up, whips him against the ropes, BIG LARIAT! He picks Homicide up again, BACK DROP DRIVER! Sweeney is on the apron and tells Morishima to do it again! BACK DROP DRIVER! Homicide keeps trying to get up, but Morishima jumps and sits right on Homicide's chest. The valiant effort from Homicide ends as the referee counts to three, giving Morishima another successful title defense. ]]

Winner: Takeshi Morishima via Pin Fall
 STILL LoC UNITED STATES CHAMPION

[[ Backstage in the locker room, we see Christian Cage entering looking bruised up from his beat down last week on Glory. Several members of the locker room look awkwardly at him, unsure of how to react to his presence. He walks with a mission straight to Rhino and Adam Pearce. ]]

Rhino: You want your ass beat now or later?

Christian Cage: Let me explain.

[[ Rhino wants none of it. ]]

Rhino: I told you, man. I told you those guys were slime.

[[ Christian puts his head down in shame. ]]

Rhino: I tried getting you to do the right thing. I tried getting you to stand up to those guys and not give into Jericho's demands. He played you like a puppet, Christian. He got you to do his bidding in an attempt to make up the fact you lost a bunch of matches.

[[ Rhino points to his black eye and the big gash on his forehead. ]]

Rhino: You did this to me.

Christian Cage: I know.

[[ Rhino clinches his fists. ]]

Rhino: I should smash your face in right now for what you did.. But, by the looks of it, The Standard beat me to it.

Christian Cage: I'm sorry.

[[ Rhino and Pearce turn their backs on Cage. ]]

Christian Cage: You listening to me?

[[ Rhino and Pearce go back to planning for their title match later on tonight, ignoring Cage. ]]

Christian Cage: Fine. Be that way.

[[ Christian turns around and begins to walk away as he looks confused by James Gibson's presence. ]]

Christian Cage: You work here?

James Gibson: I reckon you outta' git.

[[ Gibson then turns his back to Cage, who looks surprised by that. Christian continues walking by several roster members, all of which turn their backs on Cage, not even giving him a second glance or thought. Christian looks gutted, sincerely apologetic for what he's done, but knows this is the treatment he's fixing to have to endure for his actions and allegiance to The Standard all this time. Roderick Strong, Matt Sydal, AJ Styles, Jay Lethal, and Ron Killings stand in front of Cage, looking very pissed off. ]]

Christian Cage: Give me a break.

AJ Styles: Get out.

Christian Cage: C'mon.

AJ Styles: Get out of this locker room now.. Or be thrown out. You don't belong here.

Christian Cage: Seriously?

Ron Killings: That's was'sup.

[[ Christian holds his hands up and takes a step back. He side steps the group standing up to him and slowly walks out of the locker room, practically tucking his tail in between his legs and leaving without much of a fight. Christian is totally isolated from the entire promotion now that he's no longer a part of The Standard. ]]

Match Three: Six-Man Tag
 Necro Butcher, BJ Whitmer, and Abyss vs. The Hardy Boyz and Roderick Strong

[[ The savages from the Age of the Fall are simply crushing the team of the Hardy brothers and Roderick Strong. Nothing they can come up with to do can slow down the attack of the three big men. Matt Hardy gets triple teamed and busted open by BJ Whitmer's stiff boot and Necro Butcher's right hand. Jeff comes in and goes crazy, showing no care for his body whatsoever! Roderick Strong comes in, and now all six men are in the ring and havoc is being wrecked in the ring to the fans' delight! STIFF CHOPS ALL AROUND! GIBSON DRIVER ON NECRO! ONE, TWO, NO! Necro tosses Roderick to the outside, who grabs a ladder from under the ring and sets it up! This isn't a no disqualification match! he comes back in and clotheslines Whitmer over the top! Matt Hardy hits the TWIST OF FATE ON ABYSS! Matt Hardy and Roderick clothesline Abyss over the top as well! Jeff hops on the ladder outside that stands tall over the ring ropes.. SWANTON BOMB INTO THE RING ON TOP OF THE LADDER ONTO THE NECRO BUTCHER! One, two, three! Jeff Hardy took a high risk once again and it paid off for his team! What a victory! ]]

Winners: The Hardyz and Roderick Strong via Pin Fall

 

[[ Panic fills the backstage area as paramedics are rolling Rhett Titus, who is an absolute bloody mess, out of the arena and to a waiting ambulance after what Davey Richards did to him earlier tonight in the opening match. Why they've waited so long to try to give him medical help isn't important. What is important, though, is the girlish screams of agony and pain coming from the bloody Titus as he's being rolled out. ]]

Rhett Titus: MY THRUST! BROTHER, PLEASE, PLEASE SAVE MY THRUST!

Paramedic: What's your "thrust?"

[[ Titus manages to grab his crotch with both hands. ]]

Rhett Titus: WHATEVER DAVEY RICHARDS LEFT DOWN HERE, BROTHER! THERE WAS ELBOWS, PUNCHES, AND MAYBE EVEN KICKS! SAVE MY THRUST! LET MY FACE SUFFER!

Paramedic: Sir, you're losing a significant amount of blood.

[[ Titus is finally pushed out of sight as the camera reveals Davey Richards and Larry Sweeney looking on in pure delight. ]]

Davey Richards: Man, I feel kind of bad. I really ruined him.

[[ He turns to Larry. ]]

Davey Richards: He might die.

Larry Sweeney: Death is a way of life, my man.

[[ Sweeney puts his sunglasses back on his face. ]]

Larry Sweeney: You should've just let go of the hold and won the match. You don't get any money tonight.

Davey Richards: Ah. Well.. Maybe I won't be charged with murder.

Larry Sweeney: We may need to find ya' a safe place to lay low.

[[ Davey nods. ]]

Davey Richards: For sure.

[[ Ricky Steamboat walks in, interrupting the conversation. ]]

Davey Richards: I'm sorry I killed Rhett Titus.

Ricky Steamboat: You'd better hope he lives. This is a professional wrestling company, not a blood sport.

[[ He turns to Sweeney. ]]

Ricky Steamboat: As for you.. I never okayed any switching of the title matches tonight. I never said Tyler Black could change his title match to fight CM Punk instead. Punk is only in the building tonight for promotional work for our LoCDown tour of Japan next month.

[[ Sweeney acts indifferent to everything Steamboat says. ]]

Ricky Steamboat: I will not tolerate you brokering fraudulent deals in my promotion and pocketing cash out of it. The inmates DO NOT run the asylum as long as I'm in charge around here! I have enough on my plate right now with Chris Jericho throwing people off bridges and bloodying anyone he pleases! I refuse to let you be added to that list committing fraud every week.

Larry Sweeney: You'd be nothin' without Sweet N' Sour, Steamboat! People love watchin' Morishima crush opponents! They love watchin' SoCal Val tease gettin' in her birthday suit! You need my clients!

Ricky Steamboat: A man who takes talent from Eric Bischoff and brings it to me instead is valuable.. But, as I said, I call the shots around here. You want to work out deals, come to me. You will not do them on your own.

Larry Sweeney: Business is business, Steamboat! If you don't like it.. TOO BAD! Sweet N' Sour, Incorporated is the backbone of this bush league operation!

Ricky Steamboat: We'll see how the ratings perform when, next week, Takeshi Morishima faces Tyler Black in a singles match. We'll see how well Tyler Black reacts when he finds out you've pocketed the money from this "deal." As for his title match, I'll allow it to go through, just because I've talked to Punk, and he's fine with it.. That, and we have some time on the show tonight, and I'm sure it'll be a great match.

[[ Sweeney rips his sunglasses off and throws them on the ground! ]]

Larry Sweeney: We refuse to show!

Ricky Steamboat: Well.. If you've blacklisted Solid Gold, and you refuse to show up to Glory next week.. I guess you'll have fun managing your men on an independent show in front of seventy-five fans in a livestock barn.

Davey Richards: Oh, man! I hate cows!

[[ Sweeney grits his teeth. ]]

Larry Sweeney: Fine. We'll be there.

[[ He stomps his foot. ]]

Larry Sweeney: But we WON'T LIKE IT!

[[ Pause. ]]

Larry Sweeney: NOT ONE BIT!

[[ Sweeney storms off camera as Davey follows behind. He comes back into picture and semi-bows to Steamboat. ]]

Davey Richards: Good day.

[[ Richards quickly jogs back off camera to catch back up to Sweeney before he notices he's not behind him. Ricky Steamboat crosses his arms, in disbelief at the anarchy that is running through his company. ]]

Match Four: LoC World Tag Team Championship
 Rated RKO vs. Adam Pearce and Rhino

[[ Rhino and Pearce started off fired up and in control, wanting to take the titles and gain a measure of revenge for the beatings they've endured over the past month or so from this tandem representing the Standard. Rhino is unstoppable in the beginning, running through both men with ease. A low blow from Trish Stratus slows Rhino down enough for Edge to go on the assault, opening up the gash Christian Cage made when he busted Rhino open last week on Glory, Now a bloody mess, Rhino makes the hot tag to Pearce, who is immediately met with A SPEAR! Randy Orton comes in and kicks Pearce right in the head! Rhino gets a kick as well. RKO! RKO! Orton taunts and covers Pearce! One, two, three! The champions have retained, ]]

Winners: Rated RKO via Pin Fall
 STILL LoC WORLTAG TEAM CHAMPIONS

 

[[ In the interview set of the backstage area, we see Michael Cole standing by with CM Punk, who is set to defend his Elite Championship next against Tyler Black. ]]

Michael Cole: CM Punk, needless to say, tonight's not what you had planned. You showed up to the arena, expecting to do some promotional work for the pay-per-view, and now, here you are, prepared to defend your championship against Tyler Black. Thanks to Larry Sweeney, he managed to strike a deal with Ricky Steamboat to allow Black to opt out of the United States title match and into an Elite title match against yourself.

[[ Punk doesn't look phased. ]]

CM Punk: That's Larry Sweeney, what can you say?

[[ Punk shrugs it off. ]]

CM Punk: As long as I've been in this sport, you always come to a show ready for a fight. I consider myself a fighting champion, a proud champion. I'll defend this belt against anyone at any time. No problem with me.

[[ Punk turns from Cole to the camera. ]]

CM Punk: Tyler Black, I don't blame you for getting out of fighting Morishima. He's a big guy. He's undefeated. It definitely would've made for a rough, painful night for you.

[[ Punk smirks. ]]

CM Punk: That doesn't mean fighting me will be any easier.

[[ He hoists the title on his shoulder a little higher, displaying it to the camera. ]]

CM Punk: Your little revolution, it hits a major speed bump tonight. You want gold because you think it'll give you power in League of Champions. I want championship gold because it means you're one of the elite in League of Champions.. I am the Elite Champion. I am the man who defends his title the most in this company.

[[ Punk looks sternly. ]]

CM Punk: You have no idea what you signed yourself up for, Tyler. You think fighting me will be an easier task than fighting Takeshi Morishima..

[[ Punk shakes his head. ]]

CM Punk: Still doesn't mean you're going to win.

[[ Punk crosses his arms, making a big 'X.' The scene slowly fades as Punk begins walking to the curtain, ready to defend his title. CM Punk versus Tyler Black is NEXT! ]]

Match Five: LoC Elite Championship
 CM Punk vs. Tyler Black

[[ Punk and Black, very similar in their styles, took one another to the limit in this title match. The champion was at a disadvantage, having no idea he was even going to wrestle at this show. Punk controlled early on, keeping the challenger on the defense from Punk's kicks and strikes. Black kicks out of a Pepsi Twist and manages to beat Punk back to his feet, hitting a DDT! He picks Punk up, GOD'S LAST GIFT! One, two, kick out! How did Punk do that!? Punk is now receiving kicks and forearms, staggering him back, hurricanrana sends him to the mat. Black goes up top, PHOENIX SPLASH! One, two, NO! How is Punk doing this? Punk ducks a clothesline and kick in the gut, GO TO SLEEP! Black is OUT! Allison Wonderland hops on the apron and distracts Mike Chioda! HERE COMES JIMMY JACOBS! Jacobs swings his cane at Punk, who snatches it away! Punk throws Jimmy's cane in the crowd, but Jimmy pulled a railroad spike from the cane! HE STABS PUNK WITH THE SPIKE! Black is up, GOD'S LAST GIFT! Jimmy slides out of the ring as Chioda turns around and sees Black covering Punk! One! Two! Three! NEW ELITE CHAMPION! CM Punk has been screwed!!  ]]

Winner: Tyler Black via Pin Fall
 NEW LoC ELITE CHAMPION

[[ Leticia Cline and Bryan Danielson are standing backstage, preparing to do an interview. Danielson is getting into a pre-match zone, slapping his face, jumping up and down, getting the blood circulating in his body as Leticia begins. ]]

Leticia Cline: Bryan Danielson, one month ago, you were defeated for your World Championship by Chris Jericho. Now, on pay-per-view, you get your rematch.. Although, Kurt Angle has now been thrown into the mix.

Bryan Danielson: I wasn't defeated.

[[ He points his index finger right in Leticia's face. ]]

Bryan Danielson: I was ROBBED!

[[ Danielson's tone is very serious. ]]

Bryan Danielson: And tonight, I make it right, okay?

[[ Leticia nods. ]]

Bryan Danielson: Kurt Angle has his own agenda. He wants to give Chris Jericho his just desserts for what he did to Karen, and that's fine, okay? All I care about is leaving that match, leaving this arena, leaving this city.. LoC World Heavyweight Champion.

[[ He turns to the camera and points to himself. ]]

Bryan Danielson: I've said it once, I'll say it a thousand times until I'm blue in the face.. I am Bryan Danielson, the "American Dragon." I am the rightful LoC World Champion because I NEVER LOST THE TITLE! I am League of Champions. I am the reason this company exists, the reason this company has expanded to Canada and now, Japan in February.

[[ He pauses and looks into the camera, not even blinking. ]]

Bryan Danielson: I am the best goddamn wrestler in the world.

[[ Kurt Angle storms into the scene and right into Danielson's face. The two aren't even an inch from one another as Leticia sticks the microphone in between them to get every word. ]]

Kurt Angle: Tonight in that match..

[[ Angle is nearly foaming at the mouth. ]]

Kurt Angle: Stay out of my way.

Bryan Danielson: You can have Jericho, just give ME the title.

Kurt Angle: I'm going to KILL Chris Jericho.

[[ Pause. ]]

Kurt Angle: Literally.

Bryan Danielson: All I want is my title.

Kurt Angle: All I want is Jericho.

[[ Angle pokes his finger into Danielson's chest. ]]

Kurt Angle: You stay out of my way.

[[ Danielson smiles arrogantly. ]]

Bryan Danielson: It's kind of ironic we stand here, opponents on the pay-per-view debut of the second version of League of Champions.

[[ Danielson scratches his chin. ]]

Bryan Danielson: I seem to remember the first LoC pay-per-view, "Pride." You know? When I made YOU TAP OUT!

[[ Danielson slaps Angle's finger off his chest. ]]

Bryan Danielson: Do what you want to Jericho, okay? You still away from MY World title.

[[ Pause. ]]

Bryan Danielson: Or it'll be déjà vu.

[[ The camera pans back over to Leticia Cline as Angle and Danielson have a brief stare down. ]]

Leticia Cline: And there you have it.. Tensions are at an all time high here tonight at Retribution!

[[ Fade. ]]

[[ The clinging of champagne glasses followed by a view of the members of Sweet N' Sour, Incorporated fill our screens. The entire group is partying, celebrating the success of the group in its matches tonight. Sweeney is yakking away on his bluetooth headset as Sonjay Dutt is dressed as a waiter, serving drinks to all those in attendance. ]]

Sonjay Dutt: You want a drink, Larry?

[[ Sweeney hangs up his phone call, surveys the glasses on the tray Sonjay's holding. He grabs one, takes a sip, and then SPITS the champagne right in Sonjay's face! ]]

Larry Sweeney: YOU'RE WORTHLESS!

[[ Bobby Dempsey looks on, eating a sloppy Joe, relieved it's not him getting picked on. Sonjay wipes the residue off his face. ]]

Sonjay Dutt: What about Dempsey? I actually wrestle! How am I worthless?!

[[ Sweeney looks to Dempsey, who is now in total fear. Sweeney grabs the sloppy Joe from his hands and crams it right in his face! Parts of it drop from his face as Sweeney looks right at him, irritated. ]]

Larry Sweeney: YOU'RE PATHETIC!

[[ He then slaps Dempsey! Sonjay laughs. ]]

Sonjay Dutt: Idiot.

[[ Sweeney turns and slaps Sonjay! ]]

Larry Sweeney: Ignoramus!

[[ Rocky Romero and SoCal Val come from the restroom of the locker room. Val is adjusting her dress as Davey Richards approaches Romero, curious. ]]

Davey Richards: What were you two doing in there?

[[ Romero looks concerned after looking at Davey. ]]

Rocky Romero: Yo, bro, is that blood all over you?

Davey Richards: Yeah.

[[ He looks proud as he looks at SoCal Val, trying to impress her. ]]

Davey Richards: I practically murdered Rhett Titus tonight.

[[ Back on subject. ]]

Davey Richards: But back to business... What were you doing?

Rocky Romero: Oh.. Uh.. We were..

[[ He scratches his head, and Val chimes in before Romero can think of an excuse. ]]

SoCal Val: Washing our hands!

Rocky Romero: Yep! Washin' our hands. Gotta' stay clean, bro.

Davey Richards: That's true. Germs is a definite way to get sick.

[[ Romero looks to Val, neither believing that worked. ]]

Davey Richards: Glad you guys were being safe. I should probably wash this dried blood off me. I probably have herpes all over my tights.

[[ Sweeney kicks Bobby Dempsey in the balls and stands on top of his back as he is on the ground on all fours. Sweeney taps a fork against his glass to get everyone's attention. ]]

Larry Sweeney: I have a big announcement that will rock the foundation of Sweet N' Sour!

[[ Sweeney adjusts his suit coat, puffing his chest out boastfully. ]]

Larry Sweeney: Our family is growin'! In honor of our travelin' to Japan in February.. I have established a new win of Sweet n' Sour.. SWEET N' SOUR INTERNATIONAL! AHAHAHAHA!! Welcome to our family... KENTA! NAOMICHI MARUFUJI! AND GO SHIOZAKI!

[[ The camera pans over, revealing the three standing there the whole time. Marufuji and KENTA holding onto new title belts. Sweeney hops down and slaps Eddie Edwards' away from them. ]]

Larry Sweeney: I don't trust you, pal!

[[ Sweeney puts his arms around KENTA and Marufuji. ]]

Larry Sweeney: Also, to go along with the International Championship Chris Hero valiantly won after thirty-two-

Chris Hero: Thirty-six.

Larry Sweeney: Ahem, thirty-six intense hours.. KENTA and Marufuji here just won a twenty-four team tournament to become the first-ever INTERNATIONAL TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!! The first round consisted of ladder matches. Round two was nothin' but table matches. The semi-finals were all about the chair matches! Man o' man.. Those finals.. Jesus H. baby, it was a triple threat, TLC match!

Chris Hero: So it was basically all TLC matches?

Larry Sweeney: But at different intervals.. Then yes, a TLC match in the finals.

[[ Sweeney dabs the towel against his forehead. ]]

Larry Sweeney: After that thirty hour day, the Legion of Doom and The British Bulldogs never saw KENTA and Marufuji here comin'! They steamrolled right through 'em!

KENTA: Bulldog.. Dead.. RIP.

[[ KENTA, Marufuji, and Go all point to the sky. Davey Richards wipes a small tear from his eye. ]]

Davey Richards: RIP, Bulldog, RIP.

KENTA: Hawk.. Dead.. RIP.

[[ Morishima joins in with his Japanese brethren and point to the sky. ]]

Larry Sweeney: Hey! Enough out of you guys!

[[ Sweeney switched gears to change the subject. ]]

Larry Sweeney: I've worked deals all day! In Japan, Hero, my man.. You're defendin' your title against top talent in Japan! Sara Del Rey, my queen, you're gonna' defend your title! Marufuji and KENTA, those International Tag titles gets solidified all throughout February!

Sonjay Dutt: What about me?

[[ Sweeney snatches his glasses off and smiles like a Cheshire cat. ]]

Larry Sweeney: I have a plan for you, Sonjay Putt.

Sonjay Dutt: It's Sonjay Dutt.

Larry Sweeney: If I was able to find a gun with one bullet, and legally be able to shoot it at someone.. Who know who'd I'd aim it at?

[[ He doesn't even give Sonjay time to answer. ]]

Larry Sweeney: I'd line you, Eddie Edwards, Kevin Costner, and Bobby Dempsey in a line.. And I'd fire it right at you and let the bullet fly through all of ya'! I'd kill you all with ONE SHOT!

Chris Hero: It'd never make it through Booby Dempsey.

[[ Hero pauses. ]]

Chris Hero: Why the Kevin Costner hate? He made "3000 Miles to Graceland" and "Bull Durham."

Larry Sweeney: That schmuck also made "Waterworld."

Chris Hero: Touché.

[[ Sweeney grabs Sonjay by the cheeks, smashing the together. ]]

Larry Sweeney: You're gonna' be busy babysittin' the other newest member of Sweet N' Sour, Inc.

[[ He points to the catered food table in the back. There stands Mike Tyson, former boxing champions, gorging himself with a plate full, and by full, literally overflowing with food. Jaws drop upon the sight of Tyson, who is "Iron" no more, and simply a broken down shell of his former self. ]]

Larry Sweeney: "IRON" MIKE TYSON!!

[[ Tyson sits his plate down, taking a chicken leg with him as he walks and greets Sweeney. ]]

Larry Sweeney: "Iron" Mike Tyson, folks!

[[ No one looks thrilled. ]]

Larry Sweeney: If none of you people praise this decision, you'll all sit at home and eat pork and beans, livin' off your ZERO dollars a month income and that ZERO benefits package that comes with it! I'll take all of your earnings and I'll buy myself a new pair of CROCODILE SKIN BOOTS!

[[ Applause fills the room. Morishima and Tyson have a bit of a stare down as Tyson smiles big at Morishima. ]]

Mike Tyson: Look at 'dem titties!

[[ Tyson gives Sweeney a thumbs up. ]]

Mike Tyson: Imma' fornicate wit' her first.

Larry Sweeney: That's a man, Mike.

[[ Tyson pays Sweeney no attention and turns to Sara Del Rey, liking what he sees. ]]

Mike Tyson: And her next.

Sara Del Rey: No.

Mike Tyson: C'mon, baby.. I'm Mike Tyson!

Sara Del Rey: Not impressed.

Mike Tyson: I could sell out Madison Square Garden masturbatin'!

[[ Sweeney attempted to step in between, then stopped, realizing Tyson was probably right. ]]

Sonjay Dutt: Not even Moses could part those legs! And believe you me, I've tried!

Mike Tyson: Imma' bust those thighs like boulders. Then I'll grab your snatch and never let go. I'll bring it a lot of pain.

Larry Sweeney: Alright then.. Mike, nice meetin' ya'.

[[ Sweeney begins pushing Tyson towards the door, knowing it's soon that Del Rey snaps and critically injures Tyson.. And probably Sweeney too. ]]

Larry Sweeney: The limo's waitin' outside. I'll call ya'!

[[ The door shuts as Sweeney shakes his head. ]]

Larry Sweeney: Mike Tyson's kind of a creep.. No?

[[ Fade. ]]

Match Six: LoC World Heavyweight Championship
 Chris Jericho vs. Bryan Danielson vs. Kurt Angle

[[ Chris Jericho was basically in a handicapped match in this one. Both Angle and Danielson wanted to do damage to Jericho, with neither man allowing the other to make the pin fall and win the match. Danielson is only worried about getting his title back, and Angle is more worried about crippling Jericho once and for all for what he did to his ex-wife, Karen. Jericho is beaten by both men repeatedly, given no break. Angle and Danielson do an array of double team moves, until Danielson turns on Angle to try to make a pin fall attempt. While Angle and Danielson now fight it out, Jericho slides under the bottom rope and to the floor to recover from his beating. Danielson sees Jericho on the outside and DIVES! Jericho goes smashing into the guard rail as Danielson draws praise from the fans. Angle goes up top, SOMERSAULT OFF THE TOP ROPE ONTO DANIELSON! Angle grabs Jericho and hooks his leg, ANGLE LOCK ON THE OUTSIDE! Danielson breaks it up by kicking Angle in the face! He rolls Angle into the ring and starts pummeling the champion on the outside. Jericho pokes Danielson in the eyes and escapes to the ring. Angle attempts a German, but Jericho does a back flip in mid our, not taking the bump. Jericho catches Angle as he turns around with the CODE BREAKER! One, two, no! Almost three! Angle gets up and head butts Jericho to the ground. Danielson gets on the apron to reenter the ring, but Angle shoulderblocks him to the outside. This allows Jericho to grab Kurt by the tights and roll him up! One, two, he grabs the tights, three! Chris Jericho has retained the LoC World title thanks to the pulling of the tights! ]]

Winner: Chris Jericho via Pin Fall
 STILL LoC WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION

[[ Bryan Danielson slides back in the ring and looks at Kurt Angle, disgusted for taking the pin fall loss and ending the match before he could get back in the ring. Danielson feels truly robbed of his championship. Chris Jericho and Trish Stratus go back up the ramp, the LoC title in Trish's hands. Jericho takes it from her and holds it in the air, drawing a massive amount of heat from the fans. Bryan Danielson leans over the top rope, looking on, furious at the very sight of Jericho holding his World Heavyweight Championship. Jericho disappears, and Danielson's troubles arise once again. ]]

[[ ..JOHN CENA.. ]]

[[ CENA IS BACK! He slides into the ring from the crowd, behind Danielson's back. Danielson turns around right into AN F-U! The fans are popping huge for the return of the Chain Gang Soldier from injury! "CENA! CENA! CENA!" chants break out all over the jam-packed arena here in Los Angeles! No one knew when he was going to return from that vicious assault Danielson laid on him several weeks ago for costing him the LoC Championship. Cena looks down at Danielson, then to the fans.. They know what's coming next. "YOU CAN'T SEE ME!" He runs against the ropes, pops, stops.. FIVE KNUCKLE SHUFFLE! The fans pop loudly as Danielson rolls out of the ring. Chris Jericho looks on from the top of the ramp as Cena points to him, telling him he's next in line! The Standard stands tall tonight, but now with John Cena back, how much longer will that remain so? ]]

[[ Fade out. ]]