May 6, 2007
Boise, Idaho

-[[ We go backstage where we see one of Solid Gold Wrestling's newest talents, signed specifically for the newly instated SGW Women's Division, Irish phenomenon, Rebecca Knox.. Clad in jeans and a white tank top, she looks pumped to be making her television debut here tonight.. Addressing the camera, the fans at home, she begins to speak. ]]-

Rebecca Knox: Top o' the mornin' to yuzz, lads!

-[[ She's practically hopping in place as she speaks. ]]-

Rebecca Knox: Wednesday noight, ya' heard de' announcement straight from de' mouff o' Eric Bischoff.. Solid Gowld Wrestlin' Women's Chompionship on de' line inna tournament true-out de' month o' May and let me tell yew somethin'.. It dudn't matta' if I come out vic-trori-ous, I'm just happy ta' be'ere, competin' with some o' de' best athletes in de' world today and in front o' de' greatest fans in all de world.. The Solid Gowld Wrestlin' fans!

-[[ The fans in the Mayhem arena pop, whereas some LoC supporters chime in with boos.. She cups her ear, a big smile on her face.. And then raises an eyebrow, looks disgusted and her voice goes shrill. ]]-

Rebecca Knox: ...HECK NO, I DUN'T MEAN THAT!!

-[[ The boos come from all sides now. ]]-

Rebecca Knox: I'm here for one rayzon and one rayzon only.. To become de' first Solid Gowld Wrestlin' Women's Chompion!! To beat up skeevy nackers like Lacey and Mercedes Martinez.. JAYZUS! SHE'S GOT A FACE LIKE DE' EARL OF HELL'S ARSE! And to take the so-called greats o' our division like 'dose hoors, de' Dangerous Angels an' turn'em into a couple o' banjanxed pox bottles!

-[[ A loud "USA!" chant breaks out. ]]-

Rebecca Knox: If ya' dun't believe I'm goin' all de' way.. Then joost hump off, 'cuz it dudn't matta' if ya' steppin' in de' ring wit me or chewin' on a brick.. Soona' or lata'.. YA' GONNA BE SEEIN' A DENTIST!

-[[ She pumps her fists, owned. ]]-

Rebecca Knox: I know ya' wantin' de' gowld.. But ya' can want it so bad ya'd lick it off a scabby leg, it just dudn't matta'.. Because if ya' comin' for me gowld, then ya' gonna be CRUISIN'.. FOR A BRUISIN'! Fact o' de matter is.. I'm de' best dang technical wrestler 'round 'dese parts! I'm goin' to de' top in Solid Gowld! I'M CLEAN AS A WHISTLE.. AND SHARP AS A PENCIL! And it dudn't matta' who ya' are.. Allison Danga'.. Dezzy Haze! Cheerleader Melissa.. You'll be leavin'.. IN A BOJANGLE!

-[[ She pops the straps on her top like a pair of suspenders. ]]-

Rebecca Knox: DAT.. IS THE WAY IT IS....

-[[ A pause.. ]]-

Rebecca Knox: AND DAT.. IS A LESSON.. FROM THE SCHOOL.. OF THE K-NOX!

-[[ Fade. ]]-

Match One: Singles Match
Lance Storm vs. Ace Steel

[[ Lance Storm is seeking revenge from what Colt Cabana did to him last night on Glory by taking out one of Colt's friends and trainer in Ace Steel. The match was back and forth to start, Ace trying to get back in the rhythm of things due to this being his first LoC match since signing a contract. Storm wrenches away on parts of the body, overtaking Ace, and ending the match with the Straight Shooter. Lance Storm takes out one of the Second City Saints with ease. ]]

Winner: Lance Storm via Submission (13:46)

[[ After that match we fade from Lance Storm celebrating in the ring and we cut to a pre-taped promo. We see Edge, the Rated R Superstar standing in front of a black and grayish mixture background. Edge has a cocky smile on his face, wearing a "Crude and Lewd" gray t-shirt and jeans. He removes his sunglasses and hangs them on the collar of his shirt. ]]

Edge: Sunday Night Mayhem.. The little show where people with no futures in Solid Gold and League of Champions come to desperately try to save their careers one match at a time. What a waste of air time! I think, right now, I'm the only reason people's even tuning in! And no.. I'm not here to wrestle.

[[ He smirks. ]]

Edge: That's what these other jobbers are here for. Me, I'm here to make something perfectly clear.

[[ Pause. ]]

Edge: Bryan Danielson, I want your LoC Championship.

[[ Edge is very stern in his delivery. ]]

Edge: I've been in LoC since day one, just like you have. I've won matches, beaten some of the best the company offers. I have won World titles that mean twice as much as the World titles you've won. And yet, you think you're some big shot because you're undefeated.. I'd be undefeated too if I got to fight Shawn Michaels, Rob Van Dam, and Beef Wellington every damn week!

[[ Edge rolls his eyes. ]]

Edge: You sent out these contracts for title matches, knowing some no name jobbers were going to pick them up, sign them, and think this was their one shot at fame. You didn't send them to people who DESERVE title shots, Danielson! Me, me.. I DESERVE A TITLE SHOT!

[[ His eyes go wild. ]]

Edge: Jim Cornette has made a match next week.. Kurt Angle versus Christian Cage. Don't get me wrong, there's no dissention in the ranks among Sports Entertainment Xtreme, there's no bad blood brewing between the greatest tag team in the history of professional wrestling.. I just want a shot at the World title. A title shot that is long overdue.

[[ Edge licks his teeth and continues. ]]

Edge: Next week, The Cutting Edge debuts in League of Champions on Glory. Jim Cornette, if you're the man of the people.. If you're the man who cares about the wrestlers and their opinions.. You'll be on the show. You'll listen to me! You'll then GIVE ME A TITLE SHOT!

[[ The veins in Edge's neck are very noticeable. ]]

Edge: And when I get that shot, I WILL become the LoC World Heavyweight Champion.. Because I am.. The Rated R..

[[ Points to himself. ]]

Edge: ..Superstar.

[[ Fade. ]]

Match Two: Ladies Tag Team
The Dangerous Angels versus Portia Perez & Tiana Ringer

[[ Fast paced, stiff contest that the Dangerous Angels dominate with their superior skills and experience. Tiana Ringer puts up a hell of a fight, working Allison Danger's back when she gets the opportunity. Tiana and Portia tag in and out repeatedly. Allison Danger manages to catch Portia off guard with the Lovelace Choker and makes the hot tag to Sara Del Rey. Sara Del Rey owns Portia with power slams and a series of vicious Yakuza kicks. Portia tags in Tiana Ringer quickly and Del Rey leaves her laying with the Royal Butterfly! As soon as Del Rey gets up, Portia is in the ring and throws a clothesline but Sara ducks it, release German suplex and Portia lands right on her head! Her neck has to be broken! Sara tags in Allison and she immediately puts Tiana Ringer in the STF and pulls back on it for the submission victory! ]]

Winners: The Dangerous Angels via Submission in 14:38

-[[ Tiana and both of the Dangerous Angels, even, circle around Portia and begin checking on her. She's not moving. EMTs are deployed from the back with a stretcher. Once the full extent of Portia's injuries are known, everyone will be informed. ]]-

-[[ Mayhem Exclusive Footage ]]-

SGW Shock - 5 / 2 / 07

-[[ The footage begins after Shock went off the air.. We see Mark and Jay Briscoe walking around inside of the ring.. They appear to be the only ones around with the exception of one or two people up in the stands collecting trash.. The massive hole that Samoa Joe and Austin Aries plunged through is still gaping wide open.. The Briscoes are still in their gear, Jay has his hoodie over his head.. Mark hocks and spits down into the hole in the ring. ]]-

Mark Briscoe: Shit, brother.. Them boys didn't win nothin'!!

-[[ Jay shakes his head under the hood, chewing a big wad of gum. ]]-

Jay Briscoe: Hell naw, they didn't!! They didn't beat us!!

-[[ Jay stomps his feet and points down with both hands. ]]-

Jay Briscoe:This fuckin' ring did!!

-[[ A few members of the ring crew, Lance Starr and a man who looks conspicuously like Val Venis make their way down to the ring and begin tinkering away at it, taking it apart as the Briscoes continue speaking. ]]-

Mark Briscoe: That's right.. Whoever put this ring up... DIDN'T MAN UP!!

-[[ Mark leans over the ropes, making sure the ring crew hears him. ]]-

Mark Briscoe: You hear that, mother fuckers!? Because you didn't MAN UP, we lost our fuckin' match tonight!! What the hell's your problem, huh!? Ya'll not get paid enough to MAN UP and put this thang together right!?

-[[ They do their best to ignore him. ]]-

Jay Briscoe: I don't know, Mark.. Maybe it's not them.. Maybe the RING needs to MAN UP!! Ain't nothin' got its ass whipped tonight like this ring!! Maybe if the ring MANNED UP a little bit, people wouldn't be crashin' through it so damn much!!

-[[ Jay stomps the ring. ]]-

Jay Briscoe: YOU HEAR THAT, RING!? MAN UP!!

Mark Briscoe: Man, brother, that's the stupidest shit I ever heard!!

-[[ Jay looks like Mark just slapped him in the face. ]]-

Mark Briscoe: It was the fuckin' turnbuckle that broke off.. It's the TURNBUCKLES that need to MAN THE FUCK UP!!

-[[ Mark turns and grips the top turnbuckle tightly in his fist. ]]-

Mark Briscoe: BOY, YOU BETTER MAN UP!!

-[[ Jay stomps over, pointing his finger at the turnbuckle and screaming. ]]-

Jay Briscoe: YEAH, BITCH!! MAN UP!! DON'T YOU GO BREAKIN' OFF AGAIN!! YOU HEAR ME!? MAN UP!!

Mark Briscoe: MAN UP!!

Jay Briscoe: ALMOST HURT MY ASS!! MAN UP!!

-[[ They both turn around, huffing and puffing in anger. ]]-

Mark Briscoe: Yeah, that's right.. They'll MAN UP next time..

Jay Briscoe: Shit, they be stupid not to, brother.

-[[ Suddenly, it's as if Mark notices that a camera is watching them and he turns his attention to that.. Mark points into the camera as Jay takes notice and begins staring into it with a pissed off look on his face. ]]-

Mark Briscoe: You see that, World's Greatest Tag Team!? No, screw that.. I'm not calling you that.. To us, you're just Haas and Benjamin.. WE.. ARE THE WORLD'S GREATEST TAG TEAM!! And you know why!? Because at Supremacy, we had what it takes to MAN UP and become the first DUAL IMPACT CHAMPIONS!! MAN UP!!

Jay Briscoe: MAN UP!!

Mark Briscoe: You didn't beat us tonight.. You ain't got what it takes to beat us!!

Jay Briscoe: MAN UP!!

Mark Briscoe: And startin' next week on Shock, we gonna prove that we the best tag team in the damn world!! Because we take on anybody!! We ain't afraid o' nothin'!! Far as we're concerned, Paul London and Spanky.. We supposed to fight ya'll next week... YOU BOYS WANNA MAN UP FOR A TITLE SHOT!? MAN UP!! YOU GOT ONE, SON!!

Jay Briscoe: MAN UP!!

Jay Briscoe: 'Cause far as we care.. We either gonna go into Total Destruction as fightin' champions with a fuck load of MOMENTUM.. Or we ain't goin' into Total Destruction AT ALL!! WE DEFENDIN' OUR BELTS EVERY WEEK UNTIL THAT DAY!! NON-TITLE IS FOR PUSSIES, SON!!

Jay Briscoe:MAN UP!!

Mark Briscoe: YA'LL THANK YA'LL SEEN MANNIN' UP SO FAR!?! YA'LL AIN'T SEEN NOTHIN' YET!! THE BRISCOES IS MANNIN'.. THE HELL.. UP!!

-[[ Jay grabs the camera by the sides and begins shaking it as he yells. ]]-

Jay Briscoe:IT'S ON, HAAS AND BENJAMIN!! YA'LL BETTER BE READY TO MAN UP!! MAN UP!! MAN UP, BOYS!! YA'LL AIN'T SEEN NOTHIN' YET!! WE AIN'T EVEN GOT STARTED!! MAN UP!!

Mark Briscoe: MAN UP!!

-[[ The feed abrupty shuts off as they scream "MAN UP" into the camera. ]]-

-[[ Fade. ]]-

Match Three: Tag Team Match
America's Most Wanted vs. That 70's Team

[[ Joey Ryan was recently resigned to LoC, but Disco Machine is still trying to get back in the company. AMW is fired up from the start, and they wipe the floor with their opponents. Chris Harris and James Storm want as much momentum as they can get en route to getting a Tag Title shot, and they show it here. The finish comes with a Death Sentence on Disco Machine, which gets an easy three count for the former NWA Tag Team Champions. ]]

Winner: America's Most Wanted via Pinfall (11:29)

[[ Backstage we see Michael Cole standing by with Ron Killings, the Suntan Superman. Cole gets the signal from the cameraman and begins the interview. ]]

Michael Cole: Welcome back to Mayhem.. At this time, I'm standing by with Ron "The Truth" Killings. Ron, your tenure in LoC hasn't been the best of times that you probably imagined, what do you plan on doing to turn that around.

Ron Killings: It's like 'dis, Cole.. 'Da Truff gonna' keep goin' out to 'at ring each and every week.. He gon' keep fightin' and scrappin'.. And when everyone least expects it.. BAM! 'Da Truff done wun 'da LoC title!

[[ He's very energetic to be a man of little success. ]]

Ron Killings: You gots to lose to learn how ta' win, Cole. It makes 'chu a betta' person.. Know whut ah'm sayin'?

Michael Cole: Indeed I do..

[[ Killings gets floored! CHRIS MASTERS!? What the hell is he doing here? Jillian Hall is all smiles as she joins the fray as well. ]]

Chris Masters: You know what will make you a better person, Ron?

[[ He picks Ron Killings up and applies the Masterlock! ]]

Chris Masters: THE MASTERLOCK, BABY!

Jillian Hall: Cole, look at this fool!

Michael Cole: Chris Masters?

Jillian Hall: No!

[[ Killings is being swung like a rag doll. Jillian smiles and points to Killings. ]]

Jillian Hall: This is what a loser looks like! This is what Chris Masters does to people! Jeff Jarrett got the same treatment, and we ran him out of Solid Gold! Now we're leaving Solid Gold ourselves!

Michael Cole: Why?

Jillian Hall: Opportunities. There's bigger fish to fry in League of Champions. There's better opportunities. Opportunity only knocks very seldom

Chris Masters: And when it does.. It cannot break my Masterlock!

Michael Cole: But what if Jeff Jarrett shows up in League of Champions for revenge?

[[ Masters slings Killings to the ground. Jillian looks pissed Cole brought it up. ]]

Jillian Hall: He won't.

[[ She looks into the camera. ]]

Jillian Hall: People who retire from wrestling stay retired forever.. Duh.

Michael Cole: No, they don't!

[[ Jillian and Masters walk off as people check on Ron Killings. Chris Masters has made the jump to LoC! ]]

Match Four: SGW Television Title
Jimmy Jacobs vs. John Walters

[[  Lacey isn't with Jimmy tonight. He's on his own. John Walters wrestles Jimmy to the mat and completely schools him. John Walters goes for the Hurricane DDT early on but Jimmy slips out of it and gets a roll-up for two. John Walters dominates Jimmy in such a convincing fashion that the fans actually get heavily behind Walters, sensing a title change is going to happen for the first time on Mayhem. Jimmy bails to the outside and Walters follows him out and begins beating him like a grown ass man. He slugs away at Jimmy and turns him around to push him underneath the bottom rope but Jimmy kicks backward into John's crotch.. Walters goes down, clutching his balls and Jimmy begins pulling him toward the ring apron.. Once Jimmy has him close, he flips the apron up and crawls underneath, pulling John underneath up to his ankles.. After a few seconds, Jimmy climbs back into the ring.. Walters tries to get up but can't!! The referee counts John Walters out and Jimmy Jacobs has retained the championship! ]]

Winner: Jimmy Jacobs via Count Out in 18:19

-[[ The referee, after the match, goes to check on John Walters only to find out that Jimmy Jacobs tied John's boot laces to the steel supports under the ring!! John Walters looks disappointed as Jimmy backs up the ramp, singing the praises of Lacey with the TV Title in his hands. ]]-

Fade out.