Once again the camera opens to find the set for Billy's Broadcast, the weekly, most esteemed interview show known to the world. Greater than anything Opra could ever produce, thanks to Billy Mayne's obvious lower endowments, oh wait, maybe he isn't better in that department considering who he's being compared with. Nevertheless, again the set is found located within the crummy, cheap rest stop off 1-75 Highway, Jon Rich seated smack dab in the middle of it on a stool held together by elmer's glue and duct tape. Billy is seated across from Jon in what appears to be full riot gear, shielded in black padding and a bullet proof helmet while he tries to move the cards around in his hands but is having trouble doing so. He briefly turns his attention to a figure off camera, perhaps his ever helpful stagehand.

Billy: This damn helmet better not give me hat hair. You know how much conditioner and hair spray it takes to fix that?

He turns towards the camera and pulls back the protective glass face plate to reveal his smiling features, a condascending grin plastered on his face.

Mayne: Well hey there IWC fans, or those who mistakenly turned on this station hoping to find an old woman discussing her vagina. This is Billy Mayne, master of Billy's Broadcast, joined by IWC's greatest, second rate performer, Jon Rich, welcome Jon...

Jon looks at Billy and quirks a brow.

Jon: Speaking of second rate, who got the idea to broadcast here?

Billy: It was the only place that would take my food stamps as a down payment for renting it, but that's neither here nor there, lets try to get this unpleasantry past us as quickly as possible shall we?

Jon points

Jon: OH MY GOD BILLY!! DRIVE BY!!!!

Jon laughs as Billy ducks down in terror, but can't move much thanks to his suit.

JOn: Sorry, Billy. COuldn't help myself, especially with you all up in your nice ole Riot Gear. THis isn't Reno 911, you know.

Billy: That wasn't funny at all Jon. Do us both a favor and let me handle the comedy, you can just sit there and continue to be as boring as you are in the ring. But if you want to know about my riot gear, I assure you it's a neccessity, especially after what that PMS driven Robin Brooks did to me last week.

A conniving grin comes to Billy's face at the mere mention of Robin Brooks.

Jon: And if you didn't have your head shoved so far up your ass about the Beta Bitches you would have seen that coming. After Born Again, I have to say, her allegiences are pretty well known. That should make you happy. She and Parkwood stole another one.

Billy: Heh, everytime what she did to your team at Born Again is mentioned, it just brings a big sappy smile to my face. But seeing as Robin Brooks had anything to do with the defeat of your team, my happiness is somewhat diminished. But speaking of the walking STD, what are your feelings towards her over what she did, or should I say what she was forced to do at Born Again?

Jon: Forced to do? FORCED TO DO? You make it sound like she didn't have a choice. Everyone has a choice to do whatever they want to do. Granted, some people have crappy choices to choose from, but it's a choice nonetheless. Robin chose her path. Just as I have chosen mine. My path puts me directly in front of the line of the Alpha Generation. That's where I belong. It's no where I was forced to be, but a place I chose to walk to.

BUt to answer your question on how I feel about Born Again, I have to say I feel a bit shitty about it. I went in there to make sure that we in the IWC were the ones left standing. Instead, both teams were still standing and the AG got a cheap win. So, I guess Robin being with them fits. I hear she comes real cheap! That's all Parkwood can afford, you know?

Mayne: Your lack of sympathy greatly amuses me.

Billy snaps his fingers, requesting something from his stagehand. A hand reaches from a stall holding a piece of toilet paper with writing on it. Mayne begins to read his next question on it.

Jon: And when the definition of "ghetto" was re-defined, we all stood and watched in awe!

Billy bats his eyes in confusion.

Billy: So do you have prolonged plans for the Alpha Generation now that you and the rest of the roster were squashed horribly at their hands, and made to look like complete and utter jobbers? I imagine even you couldn't be stupid enough to keep fighting this pointless war, as I think you'd realize that you actually want to go onto have a somewhat productive career in this company.

Jon: Squashed? What part of "cheap win" didn't you get or uderstand? Do you even watch the matches you're supposed to be commentating on, or are you just another guy trying to be like Bobby Heenan? At least he was entertaining, what's your excuse?

Billy: Why thank you, comparisons between myself and Bobby Heenan are always welcomed, if not utterly cliche in every manner. I mean, we don't have much in common with the exception of rotting livers, but watching your guys performances on a weekly basis would drive anyone to hit the bottle hard. Which is how I assume Roxas Knoxx ended up with you in the first place.....

Jon: And you can drop that right now!

Mayne: But that's neither here nor there right now, I'm just glad to see you be the bigger man and admit when you've been humbled in every way by a superior opponent.

Jon: They are in no way superior to me. Shall we go through the list of my encounters with them? All through the ULW:R when Jackson Adams and the rest of the AG B-Team... I went through them. Put me in the ring with Desolation, it took the rest of the AG to get him the win. This big match at Born Again, it took a sneak attack to get a cheap pinfall win that they didn't even deserve. You think they are superior? How many lines of LiLo have you been snorting?

Billy looks up from his notes scribbled on toilet paper then looks around as if confused, like he heard nothing Jon just said.

Billy: Um, bless you.

Billy's eyes cut back and forth in bewilderment

Mayne: But even though you keep referencing the superiority of the Alpha Generation I'm afraid we have to move onto something a little less interesting, yourself. So allow me to ask you a couple of hard hitting, serious questions now, if you have the mental capacity to understand and answer them.

Jon: Perhaps now is the time for one of my gay jokes towards you that I would prolly get another written warning about. GO right on ahead. Hit away.

Billy: Hmmmm, gay jokes? Don't bring your father into this conversation Jon. It's uncalled for. But moving right along now with the type of questions I get the big bucks to ask, the type of money that let's me buy my wife the jumbo tampons, instead of the smaller, easily leak through types. Jon, what's your favorite color?

Jon: The same as Steven Tyler's.

Billy: Oh, I like that guy. Especially when he does the Popeye impressions, and spits water out of his mouth like he were a fountain. But I always hated those little twin girls he was in that show with.

Jon: He's the frontman for Aerosmith, dipshit. That color would be pink!

Billy: Aerosmith? Are they the ones with the face paint and the fruity black matching outfits?

JOn: That would be KISS!

Billy: No, I don't think now's the proper time for us to be making out Jon, but thanks anyways, I'm kind of flattered.

Jon: Oh... I so walked into that one!

Billy: So Jon, here's my next serious question. On a scale of 8 to 10, how would you rate Jackson Adams' godly aura?

Jon: How would YOU rate this aura?

Billy: Oh, I see how it is, always dodging the tough questions sir. Do you want to wear the interview pants around here Jon? Because I don't think mine would fit over your fat ass. Anyway, on a scale of 8-10, I'd probably say about a 37.

Jon has had enough and takes the toilet paper, wads it up, and shoves it into Billy;s mouth.

Jon: You know what? I've had about enough of this pro Alpha Generation shit from you. When you want to ask some serious questions, feel free. But let me tell you this: The AG are about to have thier power taken away from them. You see, on this next Riot, I'll be a part of a match with will determine who will get a shot at the IWC World Championship. That's right, I'm talking about you, Parkwood. Everyone knows that as long as you wear that belt, you can make it seem as if you have the power. That's all fine and dandy! But how are you going to stop it when I win that match and come after you. Not for my own glory, but for the IWC! The way a real man operates, not hiding behind Desolation at every chance you can. Oh, no! You want a hard hitting interview? How about asking Parkwood where his balls are? Does he have what it takes to hold the former student at bay? Does he have what it takes to keep the IWC down? Ask him those questions, Billy. Ask away.

Billy tries to talk with the mouth full of toilet paper. Finally he gags and spits it out.

He finally spits it out as his lips begin to tremble and a finger raises to his eye, trying to hold back something. Finally he can't hold it in as spit flies from his mouth and laughter erupts.

Mayne: You, World Champion? Hahahahahahaha

Jon: You, a credible commentator? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Billy stops laughing and gets serious for a moment.

Billy: Now now Jon, no need to aim below the belts with your comments.

Jon: I'm sorry, Billy. BUt my goal in life is to be just.... like... you!

Billy smiles arrogantly.

Mayne: Why thank you, I do believe that's the goal of half the men in America, and disturbingly half the women as well. And speaking of manly women, how has Roxas Knoxx been doing? Still taking it up the ass from random sailors and that grumpy old cancerous hasbeen of a manager of yours?

JOn: I hope we're getting this on tape. I hope Billy here gets the same letter from the IWC legal team about spouting off gay jokes.

Billy: Hahahaha, please, I'm like the villian from Lethal Weapon 2, I have immunity, there's nothing anyone can do to touch me. Unlike the lines upon lines of men who pay to touch Roxas.

Jon: Yeah! She's told me how much oyou've offered her. For some reason, you just don;t understand that no matter how much you offer, you'll never get a chance ot touch her.

Billy: Yeah, that's strange, you'd think after all this time she's spent with you, she'd fancy herself a man who actually has a penis, or at least a set of balls that weren't made of cotton. Let's talk about your relationship with Roxas for a moment shall we, how's that going? Thinking of rearing any bastard three headed children with her?

Rich: Why would she want a kid that looked like your mother?

Mayne: Ohhhh, how wonderfully clever, you must have some Jewish writers providing your material.

Jon: And I hope the legal team got that Billy here is a bigot!

Mayne: A bigot you say, nah'. Just a realist. And speaking realistically Mr. Rich, I have to say that based on what we've heard here tonight, that your aiming a little too high with your career. Challenging Desolation? Please. Like you've even got a shot in hell of beating the man. The only reason I'd like to see that match is to watch him embarrass and humiliate you again.

Jon: I never challenged Desolation. I know what you're doing Billy, trying to start some shit thinking that I would be afraid of this supposed Dark Man, but I'm not. Not in the least. No,w if there is nothign else, I actually have a real job I have to get to in the morning so...

Mayne: Oh, I'm sorry, am I keeping you from standing in the ring wasting all the fans time? Heaven forbid I do that. I guess since your picking fights with the AG though, it be smarter to spend more time with Roxas, considering that after guys like Desolation are done with you, they'll have plenty of time to spend with her. Maybe Curb Stomping her putrid little face into oblivion. And think, it will be all your fault.

Jon: Are you a little sore cuz she turned you down for a date? Get real. I'm out of here.

Billy chuckles to himself while watching Rich leave before Jon stops and turns.

Rich: Oh, and before I forget...

Jon grabs the previously busted stool he was sitting on and smashes it over the side of Billy's shoulder and helmet, knocking him out of his chair.

Jon: I'll see you around.

Billy is laid out on the floor with broken pieces of stool lying all around him.

"Don't Worry, Be Happy," plays in the background as the show abruptly switches to a cartoonish smiling face of Mayne.

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