OPENING VIDEO PACKAGE

RIOT!

The cameras open directly on the Hell in a Cell ominously hung above the ring, extending downward from the rafters.

Billy Mayne: Ladies and gentlemen, this is Riot!, take a moment and bow at the commentary team descended from the heavens themselves, the Goddess Katie Steward and the Olympian Billy Mayne. As you can see Hell in a Cell, for the first time ever, will take place here tonight in the IWC, as three stables collide with one team emerging as the top dogs. I think we all know who is gonna be on the top of the heap after it’s all said and done.

Katie Steward: The studdly and talented Five Star Society has all the goods. They’ll step into the cell and be the only team capable of walking out of it.

Flashbulbs ignite, highlighting the imposing steel structure waiting to descend to the ring and encage three warring stables.

Jackson Adams: Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me….

Attention finally deviates from the cell to the ring beneath it, where the lights rise to reveal Generation Now already present. A mixed reaction greets the Submission Champion Jackson Adams, and his cohort Max Craven. The two of them sit in chairs, belt strewn over Jackson’s shoulder, while their stablemates, the dreaded N.H.B Title holder Riggs, sits with his back propped to a turnbuckle and Psycho paces anxiously.

Katie: Generation Now here to deliver their own eulogy. This is the opportune time for a piss break. I’ll shut up so you won’t miss anything interesting.

Mayne: Awww, I don’t think I could live without hearing your voice for more than ten seconds.

The majority of the Canadians packed into the Ted Reeve Arena have no qualms with ridiculing Adams much the same way he’s badmouthed the Icon, Orlando Cruze, in recent weeks. His berating of the former World Champion isn’t about to stop here on the eve of Hell in a Cell.

Jackson: Orlando Cruze….Orlando Cruze….Orlando Cruze…..

Merely mentioned the name makes Adams shake his own head, as if highly disappointed.

Adams: As much as I hate to give you more undeserved screen time, considering that your too cowardly to wrestle in this ring and as thus have no right to steal valuable seconds from guys who still have the balls to risk life and limb, I have something I HAVE to say about you. Yes, it pains me to so much as mention your name, but I’ll make an exception just this once, because you need to hear what we have to say.

Jackson hands over the microphone to Craven, who sits shoulder to shoulder with his new Generation Now ally.

Craven: When you make mistakes you had best believe your gonna be called out on them, Orlando, and let’s face it, you’ve made A LOT of mistakes throughout your “career.” But none so egregious as trapping the Motherfuckin Empire and the Five Star Society in a cell with Generation Now. Tsk, tisk, what were you thinking?

Now it’s Craven who shakes his head and throws his hands hopelessly into the air. In the process of his overacting the microphone slips from Max’s clutches back into Jackson’s hands.

Jackson: You thought by sticking us in a cell it would solve all your problems, didn’t you, Cruze. Don’t mask your justification for putting us in this match. You KNOW that the only reason you FORCED us into Hell in a Cell was to get rid of us. You refuse to wrestle us yourself so like a coward you hide behind others. You try to get the likes of Simon Cagero and Porno Lad to finish us off so you won’t have to worry about getting your own hands dirty. My oh my how the mighty have fallen. I guess the old Icon truly is dead, deceased, departed, NO MORE.

He pantomimes slitting his throat.

Adams: BBBBUUUUTTT….

Jackson mocks Orlando’s phrase from last week before making a crude jerking off motion.

Jackson:….here’s where you made your mistake. The Motherfuckers and the Negative Star Society aren’t gonna get the job done. Far from it. Like you, their all broken down, their all obsolete, their all unable to hang with the likes of Generation Now. You put your hope in the hands of the wrong men, men who will fail like you have so many times throughout your career.

The boos from the audience could be measured using a seismograph, their reaction rumbling the very ground beneath them.

Adams: Generation Now will step into Hell in a Cell, Cruze, even though it’s just part of your elaborate plan to destroy us. BUUUUUT we WILL overcome the odds. We WILL be the ONE team that emerges victorious, and we WILL stand on the top of the IWC as THE elite stable. Why? Because we aren’t about politics….

Max: Unlike you, Cruze, we represent WRESTLING!

Jackson: Wrestling at it’s finest. We don’t need drama to get ourselves over, all we rely on is SKILL. And it’s our SKILL that’s gonna win us this match tonight. It’s SKILL that will ensure the Five Star Society and the Motherfuckin’ Empire crumble beneath our feet. Beneath the feet of CHAMPIONS!

Jackson holds his Submission Title out to his side while Riggs strokes the golden plate of his coveted N.H.B strap.

Adams: SKILL that you’ve NEVER possess…..

YOU KNOW MY NAME

As the lyrics cut Jackson off he’s sent into a tizzy. He leaps from his chair and flings it over, looking irate that his sentence was cut shy especially by the Icon who now saunters to the stage. The retired Orlando Cruze is met with a standing ovation by his loyal Canadian supporters.

Mayne: Dammit, why can’t Orlando’s work visa be declined in Canada? I thought he was through making live appearances.

Katie: He just can’t stand not having his face on camera. Doesn’t he know television screens crack the moment his mug is shown?

The Canadians continue to give Orlando the reaction a legend of his stature deserves. The finely dressed former Champion tries to get out a word but is cut off by the “ICON” chant from the fans. He pauses, overcome with pure emotion, the chant chilling him to his very core.

Orlando: Good to know that my Lando peeps are representin here north of the border!

The crowd only gets louder, the Icon exciting them so.

Orlando: I would ask if you Canadians were having a good time, but sounds to me like your….

Max: Hey hey HEY! Don’t you pander to them! Don’t you DARE! You can’t come out here and suck up to these simple minded nuggets!

Jackson has to finagle the microphone out of a blood-red Craven’s hands. Max is more fired up and intense than ever before, losing all control over his muscle spasms and his speech. Riggs holds Craven back while Jackson turns to address a surprisingly quiet Cruze.

Jackson: Max is right. Stop treating these fans like idiots. Everyone knows you could care less about how they feel.

The boos only get more deafening.

Adams: If you were really concerned with their feelings you wouldn’t steal time away from the wrestling matches just to get some cheap pops. And if you really wanted to make them happy, you’d stop with the whining and crying about your wee lil’ tumor, and you’d step into this ring to FIGHT.

Orlando tries to let the comments slide down his back. He takes a deep breath and raises the microphone to his lips.

Orlando: Haven’t we covered this already, Jackson? I can’t wrestle….

Jackson: Then you have no business being in this building tonight. If your not gonna lace up your boots, step down that ramp and wrestle then you have no reason to hog airtime. I know, I know, you HAVE to hear these fans cheer and chant your name so you can feel loved. What? Did mommy not breast feed you correctly? Did she tease you with the nipple? Did your daddy withhold praise when you brought home your Mathlete awards? Huh? Is that it, Cruze? Did mommy and daddy not show you enough love so you have to keep coming out here and forcing these people to praise you? Why are you here Orlando, huh, why, what reason could you possibly have for contradicting yourself AGAIN by appearing on Riot! when you said just two weeks ago that you would never show your mug around here again. Go on, explain yourself.

Cruze: Well if you would stop cutting me off and boring the crap out of these fans I would.

Orlando pauses for the obligatory applause.

Adams: Just get on with it.

Orlando: Fine. If you must know, I’m here tonight on orders from the new owner…..

Craven: I’m so sick of you using this new owner as a scapegoat! GARRRRHHH!

Jackson quickly pulls the microphone away from an unstable Max’s lips once again.

Cruze: Uhhhh, yeah, anyway, I’m here because YOUR new boss requested I make an announcement involving tonight’s main event.

The crowd quiets down, showing intrigue. Generation Now does the same, their interest piqued.

Orlando: The NEW co-owner, being well aware of the Five Star Society’s tendency to pull underhanded tactics and screw their way to victory, wanted an insurance policy. He wanted me to name a special guest referee for Hell in a Cell, someone who would ensure that the likes of Dan Douglas and the rest of the Five Star Society stay outside of the cage.

Jackson: Well who is it? Huh? Tell us already and then get the hell out of my sight.

Cruze: Aren’t we an anxious one? Fine then, if you want to be a spoiled sport I’ll go ahead and spill all the beans. Since the decision of who the special ref would be was left in my hands I needed to pick someone I knew could be trusted with such responsibilities. Someone I know will not be swayed or corrupted. Soooooo, without further ado, allow me to present to you, the special guest referee for Hell in a Cell…..my brother, Shaun Cruze!

The Canadians fully erupt as “You Know My Name” hits the PA system in conjunction with Shaun’s arrival. The sight of the striped referee shirt adorning his façade has caused every jaw in the ring to drop. Craven is flipping out once again, going into a Ric Flair inspired tirade in spite of Jackson’s best efforts to keep him under control. Shaun wears a huge grin on his face as he and Orlando bump knuckles on the stage then simultaneously lift their fists high above their heads.

Jackson: I knew it, I KNEW IT!

Jackson stomps his foot and throws a shadow punch.

Adams: I knew that you’d try to find some way to screw us over tonight. And your doing it by exploiting your poor, misguided bro….

Before the sentence can be finished two figures slide into the ring from the crowd. The fans erupt as Simon Cagero spins the gargantuan Psycho around and begins delivering rapid fire uppercut shots to his jaw. At the same time Riggs turns right into a trashcan shot to the skull from Too Magnificent. As the Generation Now members scramble from the ring to avoid the remnants of the Motherfuckin Empire the crowd teems with excitement.

Mayne: The Motherfuckers jumping Generation Now!

Katie: And Orlando says that the Five Star Society are the ones using dirty tactics, my perfectly round ass.

Riggs clutches at his skull as he is pulled out of the ring by Craven, ensuring that Too Magnificent can not blast him with another shot from the trashcan. This is all happening as Psycho is chopped and slugged by rapid fire shots from Cagero. Finally Simon leaps into the air, swings around and connects with a kick directly to the big man’s jaw, knocking his legs out from under him. Psycho is dragged out of the ring by Adams, who now has to physically restrain his partner, keeping the Sadistic Savage from re-entering the ring and continuing the fight. Cagero taunts him with words and gestures, begging him to step back into the squared circle.

As the chaos unfolds Orlando watches on, a grin gracing his features. His smile only brightens as Too Magnificent uses his free hand, the other still occupied with a trashcan, to snatch the microphone off the canvas.

Too Magnificent: No, no, noooo, you’ve got it ass backwards boys….

Riggs bites his lower lip and retracts his fist, ready for a fight in spite of being held back by an overly cautious Craven.

Too Magnificent: There’s only going to be two guys who make it out of that Cell, and your looking right fucking at ‘em.

The fans endorse this statement with a standing ovation, especially as Too Magnificent points to the heavens, or more accurately, the hell above. His thumb is then shot into his chest.

Too Magnificent: But don’t worry Riggs, I’m not gonna cripple you completely tonight. No, no, no, I want there to be just enough of you left to face me at Paranoia VII. So I guess you can take my bone chilling statements as a “yes,” YES I will face you at the biggest show of the year, where I’ll finish what I started in the cell and take BACK my N.H.B Championship.

Some fans want to collapse at this point, already exhausted from screaming. Too Magnificent gives them more provocation to deprive their brains of oxygen. The challenge has been answered and Riggs couldn’t be anymore happy. He has just the match he requested against one of his greatest rivals and he has it at the greatest show of them all.

Too Magnificent: With or without AWOL at our side the Motherfuckers will see you in the Cell later tonight.

The reaction from the crowd reaches a whole nother decibel as Too Magnificent’s entrance music hits the PA system, emphasizing his final comments. Riggs’ gaze is unbroken, unable to look away from the man who he’ll finally get one on one at Paranoia VII in a match months in the making.

With the whole dynamic of the Hell in a Cell main event drastically altered via the edition of Shaun Cruze as the Special Guest Referee emotions are running high. Generation Now tries to keep things together in spite of the curveball a smiling Orlando has suddenly pitched them.

The camera cuts to the Hell in a Cell high above the ring once again where the stable wars will reach a whole nother level in the main event.

THE SUMMIT

A close up of Porno Lad’s face sends the crowd into hysterics. Their jeers are damn near deafening. They boo so loud they can barely hear PL obnoxiously chewing his gum. For some yet to be revealed reason a look of disdain hangs over his face. His eyes sullenly stare forward, half opened, dread inhabiting his gaze. There is an awkward silence in the room but not in the stadium, especially as the camera shifts from Porno Lad’s face to the annoyed expression of Christian Savior. He sits on the opposite side of a table, staring across at the Original Prankster.

Much like his “teammate,” Christian seems quite agitated and disinterested. He looks as if he’d rather be anywhere but in the same room with Porno Lad. From the shadows that surround the table emerges Dan Douglas. The IWC President walks with purpose before crouching over the table.

Dan Douglas: Well gentlemen, it appears that the Hell in a Cell match is still on for later tonight.

The mere mention of the cell match leaves a bad taste in both Christian’s and Porno Lad’s mouths.

Dan: Which means that I need you two to be on the same page. If the Five Star Society has any chance of surviving in that cell you two HAVE to start working together.

The thought makes Christian’s skin crawl.

Douglas: Which is why I’ve called this little meeting. The only way for the Five Star Society to get back on the same page is for you two to resolve your differences. The best way to do that is to air your grievances. Christian…..

Dan gestures to the Rising Phoenix who is in the midst of rolling his eyes and coveting the Cartel and US title belts wrapped around his waist.

Dan: We’ll begin with you. The floor is now open.

Before Savior lets lose with his tongue he glares across the table at Porno Lad, who leans in, pretending to be interested in what’s about to be said.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

WOLF ARCANE VS. HURSE

A wolf’s howl symbolizes the arrival of the newest addition to the IWC roster. Japanese lanterns are present on the stage illuminating the features of Wolf Arcane and Medea as they arrive arm in arm. The two embark towards the ring receiving a significant amount of both cheers and jeers, the crowd still unsure of what to make of this mysterious competitor. Medea climbs the steps to the apron and sits on the middle rope, parting them for the competitor with a strong Eastern philosophy. He slips through the ropes and prepares for his first official confrontation inside an IWC ring.

Mayne: Well it’s about time we found out whether this guy is capable of more than just ominous stares.

Katie: Apparently all it takes is having an ominous stare to get a contract here in the IWC.

Billy: Damn our low standards. Anyway, in order for Wolf to FULLY earn a spot on the roster he’s got to put on an impressive showing against Hurse.

Katie: Ha….haha…..hahahahahaha…They call THIS a test? That’s like giving someone an exam while simultaneously handing them the answer key.

Medea claps for Arcane as he paces in anticipation of his opponent, ready to make a big debut here in the IWC. “House of the Rising Sun” slowly descends over the speakers, leading to a piercing pop from the sold out crowd. In spite of his win loss record the crowd is still enamored with Hurse, especially after the traumatic week he’s endured. To their surprise Hurse shows up, not taking any type of hiatus to deal with his emotional stress. Although when the Canadian fans get a glimpse of his face, complete with dark circles under eyes and a sullen expression on his face it becomes apparent that he should have took a leave of absence. Nevertheless he starts down the ramp, unable to bring himself to even look at the fans.

Mayne: Awww, look at the poor little chump. He’s all moody and heartbroken because he’s not gonna be a daddy. Boo-hoo-hoo.

Katie: Why is he even surprised? He should know by now that his sperm jobs more often than he does. There was no way he could impregnate Brooks.

Mayne: And he found it out the hard way last week when that meddling Rick-Rohl revealed the truth, that Robin wasn’t pregnant, that she was just playing him this whole time. She played him like Ron Raeth plays a banjo.

As Hurse slips into the ring the bell chimes and Wolf looks to make quick work of his dismayed opponent. He steps in and delivers a straight chop across Hurse’s chest. The blow connects without any attempt to be blocked. Hurse just falls back against the cables, looking utterly apathetic even as searing pain shoots through his sternum.

Arcane takes hold of the wrist and yanks Hurse forward into a knee that connects directly to the mid-section, doubling the former World Champion over.

Wolf takes Hurse by the jaw, leads him up to his feet and delivers a straight back elbow to his cheek. The strike knocks Hurse into the cables once again before he’s taken by the wrist and whipped across the ring. Hurse charges into the far ropes, ricochets off, comes back in at Arcane and gets caught under the arm and around the back of the head. He leaps into the air, delivering a half nelson face buster.

Mayne: Get a load of this. Hurse isn’t even putting up a fight.

Katie: Does he ever?

Mayne: Point taken. I don’t know though, he just seems more loserly than ever.

Hurse lies on his back, eyes flickering as he fights to remain conscious. Arcane looks to take full advantage of this, reaching his feet and getting a running start before leaping into the knee drop. The point of his kneecap connects right across Hurse’s forehead, sending the Master of Control into full convulsions. Wolf rolls away to his seat, briefly glancing towards a cheering Medea at ringside.

Billy: And Wolf just continues to own Hurse, in much the same way I own every film starring Ben Afflack.

Katie: Goddess, your taste is worse than I thought.

Hurse is taken by the bangs and sat up on the canvas before Arcane delivers a quick soccer style kick right to the sternum, taking down to his back. Arcane then sits Hurse up a second time and delivers another lethal kick to the chest. His boot connects with just enough force to possibly fracture Parkwood’s sternum. Hurse hits the canvas continuing to put up no defense, even as he’s pinned by Wolf.

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Surprisingly Hurse launches a shoulder from the canvas.

Mayne: Ugh, why does he even bother to kick out if he’s not going to fight?

Steward: Ummmmm, because he’s an idiot.

Mayne: Oh yeah, wonder why I keep forgetting that.

Steward: Because you’re an idiot too.

Red blotches are left on Hurse’s skin from the combination of strikes that Arcane is repeatedly hitting him with. Wolf, who has looked very impressive thus far, steps in and takes Hurse by the ears, slowly rolling him to his knees. Medea shouts words of encouragement from ringside.

Medea: He’s got nothing, Wolf, just finish him off and be done with it. He’s about as good of a wrestler as he is a father.

The fans do not take kindly to the statements made by Medea and neither does Hurse. The references to his “child,” no matter how fictitious he may have been, sends Parkwood into a fury. He yanks Wolf’s legs out from under him and crawls on top of his opponent, delivering rapid fire punches to the face over and over again.

Each shot connects to the bridge of Wolf’s nose, almost as if Hurse is trying to fracture it. The official finally intervenes, grabbing Hurse by the crease of his elbow and pulling him away from his debuting opposition. The spastic Hurse shoves the official away and goes after Wolf once more. This time he walks into the elevated boots of his opposition. Wolf wedges his feet to Hurse’s chest and shoves him off, sending him spiraling into the ropes.

Arcane races to his feet to take advantage only to realize that Hurse has not ricocheted from the cables but has jumped to the middle one. He springs off, twists and delivers a lariat right to Wolf’s throat, bringing both men down to the canvas. Medea unleashes a gasp, stepping back with her face flushing with emotion.

Mayne: As surprised as I am to say this, Hurse is actually doing something productive.

Katie: Is he getting his hair teased?

Mayne: No, he’s scoring some offense against Arcane.

Steward: What’s productive about that? He does it in every match, does it mean he’s gonna win? Good Goddess no.

After successfully laying Arcane out Hurse rolls to feet. Wolf scrambles to an upright base and is then taken down by a running bionic elbow to the scalp. He hits the canvas, rolls across it to his feet and is then drilled across the face with a back elbow that puts down for a third straight time.

Wolf rises to his feet and receives a big dropkick from Hurse, sending him spiraling into the ropes. He falls against them spine first, arms wrapped around the top cable and holding him upright. This puts him in the perfect position for Hurse, who comes rushing in looking to continue his onslaught. However, he runs right into Wolf’s raised boots. The impact of boot to face sends Hurse stumbling back and Arcane flipping over the ropes, landing on the apron.

Mere seconds after landing Arcane leaps to the top rope, springs off, twists in mid-air and delivers a leaping back heel kick right to Hurse’s jaw. Parkwood’s legs are knocked out from under him and he’s sent crashing to the canvas.

Mayne: And Wolf goes right back on the offensive.

Katie: Told ya so.

The crowd unleashes a pop for Wolf when he stands upright and throws his arms up into the air. He turns around and from the corner of his eye spots Hurse trying to get back. This prompts Wolf to bounce from the ropes, get a running start building some momentum before delivering a vicious basement dropkick to the sternum. Hurse leaps to his feet just in time to catch Wolf’s feet under his armpits though. As a result Wolf falls to his back and now tries to avoid being rolled over into the Legend Lock.

Mayne: Legend Lock? When’s the last time he successfully applied this?

Katie: I’m not even going to TRY and remember. I’m guessing it was some time before I was born.

Hurse is trying to force Arcane over to his stomach with the crowd squealing. Before the hold can be established Wolf spares himself by rolling to his side. Hurse tries to hold and as a result is sent flipping over, rolling across the back of his neck and shoulders straight to his feet. He then comes charging in at Wolf who reacts just in time to hit a spinning heel kick.

Hurse collapses to the canvas clutching at his features and stomping his heels against the canvas. All the while Wolf steps to the ropes at his side and lunges into the air, dropping the creases of his knees across the top rope. He flips back into an Arabian Press that misses its mark. Hurse got out of the way just in time, ending up on his seat with his spine pressed against the ropes.

To his surprise he witnesses Wolf actually land directly on his feet, balance himself and come barreling in. He barely has time to react but counters in convincing fashion by delivering a drop toe hold that puts Wolf throat first against the middle cable.

His head snaps back and he ricochets towards the center of the ring, gasping for air. Hurse tries to take advantage, utilizing the ropes to reach his feet before springing from the middle cable. He then twists around in mid-air, going for the lariat only to have Arcane bend forward, catch him around the crease of his knee then shoot him up into the flapjack. Hurse’s face sails into the canvas with bone breaking impact.

He bounces back to his knees, looking incredibly groggy, almost brain dead due to this collision of skull to the canvas. Wolf looks to take advantage by grabbing his wounded opponent’s wrist, swinging around under it and then employing the trapped limb to drag him to his feet. Once upright Arcane delivers a swift kick right to Hurse’s sternum, putting him on his back.

Billy: Those lethal kicks are consistently keeping Hurse down.

Steward: A strong breeze could keep Hurse down.

The Master of Control lies on his back, clutching at the swelling skin on his sternum. Somehow he musters the strength to stand up when Wolf leaps into the air and catches him with a stiff kick right on the back of the skull.

The strike knocks Hurse down to all fours where he tries to shake off the numerous strikes he’s withstood throughout the course of this contest. Wolf looks to impede his recovery, rushing into the ropes in front of the kneeling Parkwood, ricocheting off and going for a big running kick. He slaps his shin in mid-run to inform the crowd of his intentions, but all it does it choreograph his maneuver to his opposition.

Hurse suddenly leaps to his feet, bends forward, catches the inbound Wolf’s ribs to his shoulder and snaps back into the bridging northern lights suplex.

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Arcane escapes defeat by wrapping his arms around Hurse’s waist and sitting up. As a result Hurse is forced to roll back off of the pin to his feet, albeit stooped forward. The reason for his crouched posture is so that he can seamlessly flow from the bridging suplex into the Sanitizer. He places his shoulders to the creases of Wolf’s knees and lifts him from the canvas, allowing him to dangle upside down.

Mayne: And now he’s going for the Sanitizer. I can’t remember the last time he’s even hit this successfully.

Katie: I’m pretty sure Richard Nixon was the president then.

Medea turns away from the ring with a look of indignation on her face, not wanting to watch Wolf fall victim to Hurse’s iteration of the Styles Clash. It seems that Hurse finally has the motivation he needs to deliver his finisher and pick up a crucial, momentum shifting victory. As he prepares to slam Wolf’s face into the canvas a chill goes up his spine, one resulting from the sound piped through the PA system.

Baby: Waa-waa-waaaaaaah!

The shrill cries of a baby’s scream throws Hurse completely off his game. He turns his head towards the stage where the sound is emitting and in the process drops Wolf to his knees.

Mayne: Is that a baby?

Katie: I knew the IWC let infants run the production truck.

Hurse’s face twists with rage as he hears the symbolic pleas of an unseen infant, being cruelly reminded of what he lost last week. The screaming finally stops just in time for Hurse to turn around and suffer an equally as cruel fate, finding himself ensnared in the clutches of a recovered Arcane. He kicks him to the gut, doubles him over and now takes him around the waist. The crowd squeals as Wolf heaves Hurse up into the air, allowing him to dangle over his back and now setting up for what looks to be a crucifix powerbomb.

Mayne: Well, another day, another Riot!, another Hurse loss.

Steward: As if you were expecting anything less.

Arcane steps forward in order to win his debut match with the crucifix powerbomb only to have Hurse surprise him. He wraps his legs around Wolf’s waist and drops forward, overcome with determination. Wolf is pulled down into a roll up with Hurse sitting up, wedging his shoulders to the creases of the knees. He now rises to his feet and lifts Wolf into the air, stepping in front of his shoulders and dropping down into the Sanitizer.

Mayne: WHAT!?! He actually hit it. He actually hit the Sanitizer.

Katie: It must have dropped below freezing in hell.

Hurse rolls Arcane over onto the back of his shoulders with Medea screeching at ringside. She is on the verge of ripping out her hair as the official makes the count.

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Mayne: He won! HE WON!?!

Katie: Wait, wait, wait…..Hurse? Hurse just won a match?

Mayne: Am I hallucinating?

The crowd rumbles with applause as Hurse breaks the pin and rolls to his elbows and knees. In spite of winning this contest he still looks grief stricken. Medea slips into the ring and aids her fallen ally, taking Wolf’s head into her arms and cradling it softly against his sternum. All the while Hurse continues to bow on the canvas, forehead touching the ring.

He sits on his knees, head lowered, face sullen and sunken. His lower lip trembles and his eyes steam with rage.

Mayne: Someone played some serious mind games with Hurse here tonight and it almost added another loss to his laughable record. Somehow, and it defies all logic, he pulled off the win though.

Katie: That’s the only thing Hurse is good for nowadays, a laugh. And come on, honestly, why speculate. We already know who was behind that tinkering with the PA system.

Mayne: Lyle Lovett?

As Hurse continues to break down in the ring cameras switch to the production truck.

COME INTO MY PARLOR

Robin Brooks: You did good….

The Black Widow stoops over the shoulder of one of the lowly, ever so geeky sound technicians. He fidgets with a panel of knobs and buttons, all of which ensuring maximum sound quality. He tries to concentrate despite having the lovely Brooks’ hand on his shoulder and her cleavage inches from his face. The former Submission and X-Class Champion uses her feminine wilds to get exactly what she wants and what she desired tonight was another opportunity to screw with her ex fiancée. She watches the row of television screens stretched out before her, all of which providing different camera angles of Hurse’s distraught features inside of the ring.

Brooks: Here, you earned this.

A money clip is extracted from Robin’s pocket and tossed into the lap of the sound tech.

Sound Tech: Wow, this is the first time a woman has ever paid ME for services.

Robin doesn’t listen to the disturbing comments, having no further use for this peasant. She merely stands upright and eagerly rubs her palms together.

Brooks: Now he’ll be sure to come to me.

SPLIT DOWN THE MIDDLE

The camera switches from the bribe to the arrival of the newly anointed IWC Tag Team Champions. A split screen provides duel videos featuring “Bad” Billy Mitchell entering the Ted Reeve Arena with a bag thrown over his shoulder and an insincere smirk on his face. The other side of the screen showcases Fox’s arrival to the ring. With the X-Class Title belt strewn over his shoulder Arcane pulls his wheel mounted luggage around his car, embarking towards the entrance.

Mayne: As you can see the NEW Tag Team Champions arrived earlier tonight but via separate entrances, indicative of the rift between them.

Katie: Good Goddess, Fox takes things way too personally. So what if Billy Mitchell gave him the stunner at the end of last week’s Riot! right after they won the Tag Titles. Get over it already.

Mayne: Yeah, butch up man. I tell ya this much, he’s gonna have to MAN UP, because later tonight Arcane and Mitchell will be in the same ring at the same time for the Tag Team Title Coronation Ceremony, where they’ll officially be handed the belts.

The split screen continues to show off the champs as they head into the building where who knows what awaits them.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Children…..learn from this man

SILVER PLATTER

Porno Lad: Do I really have to sit here and listen to this garbage?

Douglas: Ethan, please, let him finish. You’ll get to respond.

The mighty Porno Lad is reduced to a sigh. He sits back in his chair wallowing and crossing his arms over his chest, FORCED to hear Christian out. On the opposite side of the table Christian tries to express himself coherently without losing control.

Christian: How do I put it delicately? I guess what bothers me about you is……everything.

A groan is heard from Porno Lad.

Savior: On the surface AND deep down your just disgusting. You’re a cretin, through and through.

Porno Lad: Cretin? Who even uses that word anymore?

Dan: Ethan!

Once again Porno Lad takes a soothing breath.

Christian: Normally, being a scoundrel wouldn’t bother me, lord knows I’ve done some pretty low things throughout my career. I’ve speared one or two people maybe I shouldn’t have. I’ve betrayed friends, partners, hell, even family. So it might sound a bit hypocritical of me to sit here and despise another for pretty much doing all the reprehensible things I myself have done. But there’s a difference between us…..

Porno Lad: Oh? I’m sure there’s more than one.

Savior: I EARNED the right to be a son of a bitch, to be a BASTARD. I toiled in the ranks of SCW for years before I woke up and smelt the coffee. Eventually I put an end to all those who tried to hold me back. I became just as ruthless and conniving as everyone who held me under their thumb. After all the years of grief, politics and bullshit I endured, I think it affords me the opportunity to disrespect, screw over, humiliate, manipulate and annihilate whomever I want….

PL again rolls his eyes.

Christian: But what have you endured, Ethan......

Porno Lad: With the exception of your lil’ speech?

Dan: Eeeeethan.

Savior: What trials and tribulations have you suffered? What heartbreak have you overcome? What’s that? I didn’t hear your answer, Porny…oh wait, that’s because you don’t have one. You haven’t been forced to wallow in shit. You’ve been handed everything on a silver platter. You didn’t EARN the right to have Douglas as your backer, I did. I took the World Championship off of Orlando Cruze for this man….

Dan blushes.

Savior: What have you done for him? Nadda. And yet he gives YOU World Title shots while leaving ME out in the cold….

Douglas: That’s not exactly how….

Christian: He gives you preferential treatment over me? Why? You certainly don’t deserve it. You’ve done absolutely nothing to earn it.

The thought causes Christian to tense up.

Savior: You’ve had it so easy, Porno Lad. Everything you want has been at your beckon call, while I’ve had to WORK. I suffered for years, YEARS, Ethan, before I came to the IWC and made it my own personal playground. Even then, I had to bust my ass in order to ingratiate myself to Douglas. And yet you come along, having done absolutely NOTHING, having never toiled or labored for a single, solitary thing, and act like your better than me, like your higher on the food chain than I am? No, no, you think I should play second fiddle to you?

Porno Lad: Hahaha, no need for a second fiddle my friend, I’m the whole damn orchestra.

Christian: No, your nothing, your not even the cowbell, Porno Lad, and believe me, we don’t need more of you.

Now it’s Ethan who becomes a bit more tense. Dan tries to keep a straight face in spite of the fact that he feels like sobbing.

Savior: You’re not better than me, Porno Lad. Until you’ve suffered, until you’ve failed, until you’ve had the quote un quote “legends” spit all over your career, and until you’ve risen above it all, you’ll never be my superior. Not even, my equal.

Christian leans forward so that his words have more magnitude.

Christian: Christian isn’t anyone’s side kick. I’m not Billy Mayne, I’m no minion. I don’t answer to anybody, especially you. So stop deluding yourself. Your not my leader, your not my boss, your not even on my level. If anyone should be calling the shots in the Five Star Society, it’s me.

Porno Lad: Says the man who’s ego led to the destruction of the Conspiracy?

Savior opens his mouth to respond but Ethan cuts him off.

Porno Lad: Says the man holding a title I gave to him.

Attention is drawn to the Cartel Championship.

Porno Lad: Seems to me you were just fine with our arrangement while it benefited you.

Christian: Sure? Why not? If I’m going to be tortured through association with you, I might as well as get something out of it. It’s another case of me EARNING by way of SUFFERING.

Douglas: Alright, alright gentlemen, take a breath. Let’s calm down a little….Ethan..

All attention shifts to the Original Prankster.

Porno Lad: Your rebuttal?

PAT EVANS VS. KATELYN BUEHLER

“Hollywood Whore” erupts through the speakers and brings a collective grimace to every face in the building. Their expressions are indicative of the dread overcoming them at the mere glimpse of Katelyn Buehler AND Jon Rich. The two emerge side by side, Rich’s arm strewn across Katelyn’s shoulders.

Mayne: Now this is how you grab ratings. Red hot chicks and the coolest guys on the planet. And for once I’m not talking about N’sync.

Katie: You would think N’Sync is cool.

Mayne: Like you don’t.

Katie: No, cool is what I am and you will never be. Cool is the Five Star Society, aptly represented by two people rewarded the honor of my company, Jon Rich and Katelyn Buehler.

Billy: And the sssmoookin’ hot Katelyn Buehler is gonna remove one nagging thorn from the side of her man. It’s gonna be Buehler versus Patrick James Evans, a guy who just doesn’t know when to give up.

Rich parts the ropes for Katelyn to enter, getting a glimpse of her posterior in the process. He tilts his head to get a better view before Buehler spins around and wags a finger playfully in his face. Rich slips through the cables from the apron and wraps his arms around Katelyn’s slender waist. The crowd can barely dredge up the strength to keep from vomiting as their eyes are scathed by the image of Rich’s lips connecting with Buehler’s. The lip lock is broken the moment that “Outsider” hits the PA system, resulting in the loudest ovation of the night.

Mayne: How dare Evans ruin this tender moment. I didn’t even have time to get out my camcorder.

The reception only gets louder as the technical tyrant emerges to the stage. After all the relationship and legal issues Evans has endured over the past several months he seems surprisingly calm, retaining his focus on the match at hand. A match that grants Evans an opportunity he shoulder savor. An opportunity that presents him with a chance to obtain retribution.

Billy: Pat coming to the ring with purpose.

Katie: Ewww, he’s all full of purpose and intensity. How frightening. Like we’ve not seen that out of him before. It’s as redundant as his oily hair and unwashed clothing. Seriously, how many times can a guy wear the same pear of black shorts? He’s running on 649 consecutive days.

No time is spent pandering to the impressionable audience, each step Evans takes is full of conviction and determination. He is undaunted by the two on one advantage, something that Jon Rich and Katelyn Buehler have taken full advantage of against their enemies over the past several weeks. The only thing that stops him is intrigue. He actually pauses at the sight of Rich’s raised palm and the sound of his screeching voice.

Rich: Whoa whoa whoa….calm down….hit the breaks.

Jon lightly guides Katelyn behind him, offering his own body as a human shield. Evans has no qualms about tearing through him to get to Buehler.

Mayne: Rich doing what I certainly wouldn’t have the courage for.

Katie: You mean to tell me you wouldn’t throw yourself between a bullet and a member of the Five Star Society?

Mayne: Erm, yeah, I think it would depend on the caliber of the bullet. Pat Evans would be like an armor piercing, magnum round.

A microphone is provided to Jon, who is careful to keep Katelyn shielded behind him.

Jon: Did you really think I would let you, you of all people, put your hands on my property?

Katelyn rubs her man’s bicep and tries to restrain her moans.

Rich: That ain’t gonna happen Pat. I won’t allow you to use her to get to me. If you want me, you’ve got me, right here, right now.

Billy: WHUH!?!

This revelation does not change Pat’s expression in the slightest. He remains as flaccid as an Easter Island statue.

Rich: I talked to an old buddy of yours, goes by the name, Dan Douglas….

Pat grimaces at the mere mention of his former associate’s name.

Jon: And he agreed, this issue between us needs to be resolved. It needs to end so that Katelyn and I can progress in our career, so we can take the next step by bringing the IWC Tag Team Titles to the Five Star Society. I’m through letting you stand in my way Pat. Offering me advise I didn’t want to hear, and help I didn’t need. That ends tonight, because I’m pulling double duty. We’re facing off, and we’re facing off right now….

The crowd is given ample reason to cheer, overwhelmed by the prospect of Rich and Evans finally locking up one on one. The thought even brings a twinkle to Pat’s eye.

Jon: And as an added bonus, to give everyone just a small taste of what Buehler and I are going to bring to the tag team division, she’s gonna be my partner tonight. You got it, it’s gonna be a handicap match. Ring the bell.

Mayne: Bombshell, bombshell, bombshell. Rich just dropped a major one right on our heads. It’s gonna be Pat Evans versus BOTH Buehler and Rich right now. What a nice guy Dan Douglas is for giving his old ally this match-up.

Katie: He really is charitable. I mean, he spent a whole five minutes with Sasha Drachewych, most people don’t make it past thirty seconds.

Mayne: Yeah, from what I heard, the stench starts to get to them.

Just as the bell is about to chime as ordered by Rich, Evans has a comment of his own to make. He rips the microphone out of Jon’s palm and lifts it to his lips.

Evans: Give my ole’ pal Dan, a message for me….thank you.

The microphone is swung right into the bridge of Rich’s scalp behind the referee’s back. The official was turned away from the action as he called for the bell. Jon hits the canvas right at Katelyn’s feet. She screeches at the sight of her man taking the nasty tumble then springs into action. In a kneejerk reaction Katelyn charges at Evans and gets caught with a straight flapjack, bringing her down violently face first into the canvas. She bounces from the ring and then flips to her back.

Mayne: This isn’t how handicap matches are supposed to work.

Katie: I guess that greasy haired hobo is still fired up about Jon double crossing him at 2 For 1 Special. Let it go already, Pat. Not like your gonna be able to do anything about it.

Evans steps over the bodies of both his rivals before scaling a nearby turnbuckle. Once he reaches the middle ropes he casts his gaze to the excited fans in attendance before conducting a short poll. He gestures towards Katelyn, and receives a loud reaction. He then campaigns on behalf of Rich, pointing at him and receiving and even bigger response.

Billy: You never waste time when fighting the Five….

Pat flies from the top rope and delivers a Bret Hart inspired forearm to Jon’s face.

Mayne:….AAAAH!

As Rich thrashes around on the canvas Pat raises his foot, about to bring it down into his skull. For some reason he stops, his head turning towards the still stunned Buehler.

Billy: Now what’s he gonna do?

Steward: I hope stripping isn’t one of his options.

Evans steps past the traumatized Katelyn and up the turnbuckle he goes. That’s before coming right back down with another dropping forearm directly to the bridge of Buehler’s nose. Katelyn rolls around desperately clutching at her face, ensuring all the surgeries won’t be undone.

Pat now hops back to his feet just in time to catch the inbound Jon Rich with a punch across the jaw. Jon recovered only to be sent back into a tizzy. As soon as Pat delivers one blow, he’s reeling around into another. Just as Katelyn reaches her feet she’s caught with a strike across the cheek. She twists towards the ropes and ricochets off right into a stiff knife edge chop across the sternum.

Evans then spins around and almost cracks her boyfriend’s chest with the same deadly precision shot. The crowd is overwhelmed with enthusiasm as both Buehler and Rich find themselves in Pat’s clutches at last. Evans takes full advantage of the opportunity. He grabs the back of Rich’s skull and Katelyn by the bangs of her hair, getting a good grasp on both opponents in order to leap across the ring into a stereo bulldog.

The lovers cream the canvas then flip to their backs amongst a riotous reception from the audience.

Mayne: This couldn’t possibly be going any worse…

Katie: It could, if Pat had taken up the stripping option.

Billy: Shouldn’t the power of love overcome all? Isn’t that what those Sandra Bullock movies have been teaching me all my life?

Katie: Minion, I think Sandra Bullock was a bad example.

Before long Rich is rolling to his feet in spite of being weak kneed and incredibly dazed by his head first plunge into the canvas. He just reaches his feet when Evans begins swinging on him. A punch nails him in the temple, followed by a blow to the cheek. The stiff shots ring Rich’s bell and sends him collapsing into a nearby turnbuckle. Once propped against the corner he’s subjected to stomp after stomp to the mid-section. Pat keeps stomping on Rich like he were grapes meshed into wine.

Katelyn tries to aid her lover, rushing in behind Pat and throwing a wild right hand. Evans turns around just time to block the five knuckles headed towards his face and deliver a kick right on target to her stomach. Buehler doubles over and Pat takes full advantage of her positioning. Katelyn’s head is thrust under Pat’s posterior and his arms wrap around her waist.

With a screaming Katelyn is hoisted over Pat’s shoulders, swung around the ring and dropped on the back of her head with the eye of the storm. Buehler bounces from the canvas and sits up, eyes rolling around in her injured skull.

Mayne: He’s even hitting them with moves he’s never used before. I hardly consider that fair. How dare he get experimental.

Katie: I’m sure he did plenty of that in college.

Evans’ dominance could only last so long before succumbing to the numbers game. Rich demonstrates this the moment he dives into the back of Pat’s ankle, knocking his leg right out from under him. Evans collapses to his knees and reaches back for his injured leg. The wounded limb quickly becomes the focal point of Jon’s attack. He urgently rushes to his feet and begins stomping away at the leg over and over again, directing much of his focus to targeting the ankle.

Katie: Ahhh, psychology. Something I’m the empress of.

Mayne: I bow before your technical wrestling mastery.

Katie: Why weren’t you bowing already?

Rich drops down and begins pummeling the ankle with both forearms like a man in desperation. He finally stomps throwing blows in order to reach his feet, grab the creases of Pat’s knees and roll him to his back. He tries to step through at this point and lock in a sharpshooter, a hold that would either finish the match immediately or put Evans at a severe physical disadvantage the longer the contest goes.

Evans isn’t going to allow either of the options to happen. He sits up and drives a right hand directly into Rich’s gut, doubling him over. It puts him in a position where Evans can now reach a knee and deliver a European Uppercut with jaw cracking impact.

Jon stumbles back into the ropes, lightly ricocheting off and stumbling back into the waiting clutches of his former associate.

Pat catches him coming in with an atomic drop. The fans find it particularly entertaining to see Rich’s dropped on his family jewels, which apparently have been doing all of his thinking as of late. He leaps back and Evans stumbles forward to take the advantage. With his fist retracted Evans prepares to do major damage. That’s before he’s caught around the knee, Katelyn leaping in to protect her boyfriend.

Evans trips forward as a result and gets caught around the neck, Rich planting him to the canvas with an X-Factor style facebuster.

Mayne: Excellent teamwork. There so in synch with one another. Behold the glory of the bonds of love.

Katie: If you ever say something like that again I will have to kill you.

Pat flops to his back and clutches at his face, but what he should be protecting is his leg. Now instead of having one set of feet stomping down at it, he has two. Buehler and Rich put the boots to the already swelling ankle. They only stop long enough for Katelyn to leap into the air and drop a knee across.

Evans sits up and clutches at his leg, only to fall back when his injured limb is tugged by Rich. Jon pulls Pat right along into the cables, draping his leg over the middle rope then springing from the very same cable. He gets some significant height before ultimately crashing down onto the ankle rear-end first. Shockwaves of anguish reverberate all throughout Pat’s body, causing the Technical Tyrant to slug the canvas in an attempt to distract himself.

Punching the ring does nothing to protect his ankle, which still dangles over the middle rope. Rich only stops assaulting it when Katelyn insists that she copy his last move, determined to be helpful. She quickly springs to the middle rope and is about to launch herself ass first into Pat’s ankle when her foot slips and she falls back.

Jon looks slightly annoyed as he is forced to catch her, keeping his girlfriend from botching her way into a serious injury. As the crowd laughs and torments Katelyn with a “you fucked up” chant Jon begins screaming at them about their own inability to be perfect.

Katie: Damn that condensation on the ropes.

Mayne: It’s gonna get someone killed one of these days.

Rich continues to secure Katelyn in a rear waist-lock, slowly easing her down to the canvas. As soon as her feet hit the ring Rich’s hold turns from one of protection to one of imminent danger. Evans rushes in behind Jon and before he could break the waist lock, gives Rich a German suplex. As a result of still holding Buehler, she too is flipped over into a German as well.

Mayne: Noooo! Pat just made Rich commit spousal abuse!

Rich and Buehler roll around the canvas clutching at their necks while Evans writhes and grips his ankle.

Mayne: That son of a twisted bast…he hit a stereo German on one damn leg. GODDESS!

Evans falls to his back wincing from the pain, the trauma of the attack on his ankle almost too much for him to withstand. Even after all the damage done Pat reaches his feet, hobbling and limping uncontrollably towards his wounded opponents. He sinks his hands into Jon’s hair and forces him up only to have his leg caught in Rich’s clutches. Jon hoists Pat into the air and then brings him down ankle first across his raised knee. Pat drops back, reaching for his targeted limb, throwing punches at any hands that get near it.

Finally he wedges both feet to Jon’s chest and kicks him off, sending his former ally spiraling across the ring. Rich hits the ropes back first. He stands on the opposite side of Katelyn Buehler, who is reaching her feet outside of the squared circle, her hand reaching beneath the ring.

Mayne: Why is Pat still fighting? Really, why? What’s the point? The Five Star Society have started on a body part and their gonna keep working it over until he taps. It’s inevitable isn’t it?

Katie: Never let me hear doubt in your voice when your speculating about the FSS winning a match, EVER!

Billy: Yes your Goddess-ship, I shall now bow my puny mortal head in sadness.

Katie: Again? Why did you stop bowing in the first place?

Evans, one leg and all, hobbles towards Rich to secure an advantage. Jon steps out of the way of a lariat and now it’s Evans who finds himself propped back first against the ropes. He doesn’t remain against the cables for long, even refusing to let them support him. He steps towards Rich, who lacked the intelligence to stop exposing his back to his opponent. Evans locks in the Time to Go to Sleep before Rich can even react.

Mayne: YOUCH! Fight it Rich, fight it!

Jon trashes from side to side, desperately attempting to free himself from the variation of the Million Dollar Dream. Evans isn’t about to let Jon squirm from his clutches, he applies more torque on the neck and prepares to earn a measure of vengeance by being the first man to ever make Jon Rich tap out. His retribution is denied when a steel chair cracks the back of Evans’ ankle. Once again the referee was out of position to witness this flagrant violation of the rules. He’s too busy looking at Jon’s face, waiting for him to submit. He’s blind to Katelyn swinging a chair under the ropes right into Pat’s injured leg.

The sheer force of the strike is delivered with such crippling force that it causes Evans to break the hold briefly. Rich takes a deep breathe before being locked right back in the Time to Go to Sleep. Pat vigilantly holds on, refusing to allow Jon to escape even as he hobbles on one foot.

Mayne: Are you serious? Evans still has Rich in the Time to Go to Sleep.

A flustered Katelyn slides into the ring, and doesn’t even bother obscuring her cheating from the referee. She pulls the chair back and swings it with all the force she can muster into Pat’s upper back, finally causing him to break the hold.

Billy: Shew, I thought Jon was a goner there for a second. Pat was locked on like a pitbull and wasn’t about to let go. Buehler basically had to put a bullet in the back of his head to make him stop.

Katie: If only you were being literal.

The official has no other choice but to call for the bell, throwing out this match on the basis of Katelyn’s blatant rule violation. This still doesn’t stop a gasping Rich from grabbing hold of the referee’s jersey and shaking him for his decision. Rich finally tosses him aside and takes out his frustrations on a wounded Evans inside. He and Buehler put the boots to his already traumatized body.

Mayne: They said they were going to take him out tonight and they make good on their promises.

Katie: It’s about time someone stuck to their guns.

The chair is now swung violently with bone crushing force into Evans’ ankle. Pat grimaces and rolls to his back as Katelyn wraps the chair around his already damaged leg for a third time. Rich keeps the referee at bay, allowing Buehler to do the damage to Pat’s ankle, slamming the steel over and over it again until it’s surely been fractured.

Mayne: Their completely wearing out that ankle until it snaps like a pencil in the hands of Kindergarten Cop. I love that movie by the way.

Katie: That makes one of you. The Five Star Society doing precisely what they came here for, ending Pat Evans’ career.

Evans continues to groan as the chair is now thrown aside and Rich instructs Katelyn as to her next course of action. He gestures for her to grab the ankle which Buehler does and then he encourages her to apply the submission. Buehler almost botches it but she finally gets the ankle lock applied, forcing Evans over to his chest and ripping viciously at the leg.

Mayne: To add insult to injury, Katelyn’s now got the ankle lock applied. That’s by far the sexiest ankle lock I’ve ever seen.

Steward: You really need help.

Rich keeps shouting at Buehler to twist harder on the ankle, which is precisely what she does. Evans slaps the canvas, tapping out to the pain coursing all throughout his leg. Just when it seems he’s on the verge of being put on the shelf permanently salvation comes in the form of Axl Evermore. The whole arena rumbles as Axl bolts down the ramp straight towards the ring.

Billy: Ohhhh wonderful, here comes Evermore to stick his nose in the business of others yet again.

Katie: I think it’s become his sole purpose in life.

The Canadian crowd is frothing at the mouths as Evermore slides into the ring, once again causing Rich and Beuhler to bail before anymore damage can be inflicted on Evans. Grins adorn the faces of both Katelyn and Jon, knowing that in spite of Evermore’s interference that the damage has been done, that they’ve removed one nagging thorn from their sides. Their grins vanish the moment that Evermore grabs a microphone and opens his mouth.

Evermore: I’ve seen enough of this. It ends here, it ends now. Jon, if you really think picking Katelyn Buehler as your tag team partner is a step up from yours truly, then how about you prove it. Bring both your asses back in this ring. I’m challenging you both to a handicap match right now.

The fans erupt as Axl throws aside the microphone and motions for both Buehler and Rich to re-enter the ring.

Mayne: He can’t be serious? Did Axl not just see what the Five Star Society did to Pat Evans?

Katie: What did I tell you. There is a severe brain-cell shortage here in the IWC.

Mayne: I think there’s about to be even less brain-cells, because Axl is just asking for some head trauma making this challenge.

Jon and Katelyn begin to debate their answer while Evermore paces in the center of the ring.

Mayne: Well are they gonna accept? Are Katelyn and Rich gonna face Axl, two on one? Are we gonna see it?

Katie: Something tells me that a commercial break is coming.

Billy: Find out when we come back from break.

Steward: So predictable.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

AXL EVERMORE VS. JON RICH & KATELYN BUEHLER

The show returns with some action of the thrilling variety. The cameras are fixed on Evermore delivering right hand after right hand to Jon Rich’s face in the corner. He now puts the boots to his mid-section, inflicting as much damage on his former tag team partner as humanly possible.

Mayne: We’re back and I wish I could say we were returning with a better visual.

Steward: Again, a close up of yours truly would have been the perfect ratings grabber.

Mayne: But instead your forced to witness what Katie and I have sat through all during the break. Axl Evermore mugging Jon Rich with Katelyn forced to watch from her team’s corner. Right after we went to commercial the Five Star Society accepted Evermore’s challenge for a handicap match while Evans limped to the back refusing medical assistance.

Katie: Of course he would, because he’s an idiot!

The crowd cheers with every stomp, every punch that connects with Rich, who finds himself sliding down the turnbuckle. He’s now on his seat, being pulverized with shot after shot from a fired up, overly aggressive, vengeful Evermore. Axl even turns, cocks his fist and threatens to strike Buehler, who leaps back from the apron with self preservation in mind. He now returns his focus to Rich, who haphazardly charges out of the corner and gets caught with a kick to the gut.

Before Jon can even respond his head is snapping back as a result of the Fully Loaded Stunner.

Mayne: Fully Loaded stunner by Evermore ALREADY! This has just gone down hill quicker than Lindsey Lohan’s sex appeal.

Katie: Let’s hope Rich doesn’t start dating some butch trucker and exposing us all to repeated crotch shots.

The Canadian crowd is all pepped up as Axl continues to unload on Rich. He now mounts his sternum and begins to deliver repeated right hands down into the forehead of Rich, shot after shot connecting to his skull. Jon tries to protect himself as best he can, but his efforts are futile. It finally takes Katelyn’s interference to once again save her beloved boyfriend. She slides into the ring and rushes in behind Axl who stands just in time to catch her with a discus lariat to the throat, taking her right back down to the canvas.

Mayne: No, now he’s setting his sights on Buehler. Unhand her you fiend.

Axl’s eyebrow arches and a smile extends over his face as he grabs hold of Katelyn’s hair, yanking it just enough to pull her up to her knees. He now drops to the canvas in order to pull Katelyn over his knee where he subjects her to a rather painful, humiliating open hand slap on the behind.

Buehler squeals and rolls off the knee, clutching at her behind. When approached by the referee about his actions Axl lifts his palms and pleads innocence.

Billy: How dare you, Axl, how dare you pimp slap that ass.

In the midst of explaining his actions Evermore barely notices Buehler rushing in behind him. He has very little time to react but thinks quickly. He catches Katelyn with a drop toe hold that sends her crashing skull first right into Jon’s testicles. Rich sits up on the canvas grabbing at his genitals while Buehler rolls away, gripping her rattled brain.

Mayne: NO. Oh, owe, owie, ouch.

Katie: Well, no place her face hasn’t already been.

Jon limps to his feet clutching his family jewels and throwing a right hand at Evermore that is blocked. Axl responds with a straight punch of his own, nearly cracking Rich’s jaw and taking him down to the canvas. He rolls across it to his feet and then finds his spine pressed to the ropes. Axl takes full advantage, rushing in and hitting with a lariat to the throat that sends Rich flipping back over the cables and smacking face first into the apron.

Mayne: Why did they agree to this? Huh? Huh? They just got done wrestling a grueling match against Pat Evans, they were in no way prepared to face Axl Evermore too. Evermore knew this. Yep, that’s why he challenged them. All the pieces are starting to come together now.

Katie: Of course, Evermore challenged them because he knew they were at half strength. What a cunning little bastard.

The shaken Buehler tries to reach her feet but is cut off by Evermore, who swoops in and drills her to the side of the head with a forearm strike. She collapses back to the canvas only to be grabbed by the hair and yanked back to her feet. She is then held up by the chin so that she can see into Axl’s eyes, into his inner turmoil.

Axl: You? He picked YOU!?! Over me!?! Seriously?

All Axl can do is shake his head, shoulders sinking. That’s before he snaps himself out of his funk by delivering a straight palm strike to Katelyn’s cheek. Buehler is sent spiraling across the ring and spilling into the nearby turnbuckle, falling against it for support. Her legs nearly cut out beneath her yet somehow she remains upright, in large part thanks to the ropes which provide her with a base of support.

An “Axl” chant commences from the crowd, every fan rallying behind Evermore and his attempt at vindication. He turns to set his sights on the perfectly placed Buehler, the damsel now in serious distress. Evermore overlooks the fans at this point and then gets a running start before spearing her directly to the ribcage. Katelyn screams in pain before hunching forward and clutching at her gut.

Axl now performs a standing back flip, lands on his feet and charges in with a second spear inflicting even more punishment. Buehler almost coughs up a lung, in agony at this point. Evermore suddenly performs a third back flip and then charges in for another spear but this time Rich reaches through the ropes, grabs Katelyn by the wrist and pulls her down out of the way. As a result Axl flies through the ropes and rams his shoulder right into the exposed steel turnbuckle post.

Mayne: I’ve said it about a billion times already, but again, thank you Jon Rich.

Katie: It’s nice to see him do something productive for a change.

Jon doesn’t stop with pulling Buehler out of the way, he immediately takes hold of the steel chair that was put to use earlier against Evans. Now it is swung right into Evermore’s arm, sandwiching it between the chair and the steel post. Axl cries out and drops away from the turnbuckle, flopping around gripping at his badly damaged shoulder.

The bell may be chiming, indicative of yet another disqualification but neither Buehler nor Rich can care less. Jon slips back into the ring with chair in hand.

Mayne: This impromptu handicap match thrown out but Katelyn and Jon aren’t through with Evermore yet. They’re about to remove the last obstacle separating them from capturing the Tag Team Titles.

Katie: Unless of course you count the champions.

Katelyn quickly stretches Evermore’s arm out over the canvas to expose the already bruised bicep. After placing a foot on Axl’s wrist to hold the arm in position, Jon pulls back the chair and swings it right into the shoulder and then into the bicep, and then into the elbow. Evermore convulses on the canvas, trying to cradle his injured arm to his sternum but having no such luck.

Billy: Looks like Evermore is gonna be sharing a hospital room with Evans.

Katie: And here I thought Perfect Strangers set the bar for odd couple situational comedies.

After taking a few more whacks at the arm Rich throws the chair aside and removes his foot from the wrist. Before Axl can tend to his wounded limb he’s rolled over to his stomach by Buehler so that Jon can apply the fujiwara armbar. Evermore’s shrill roars cut through the building. The Canadian fans are heartbroken at the image of Axl’s own submission hold being used against him, inflicting untold amounts of damage on the already battered arm.

Mayne: And now Rich is using Axl’s own submission against him. This is by far the funniest visual ever.

The referee stands back barking at Rich and Buehler, pleading with them to stop this but is powerless to do anything more to save Evermore. Finally Jon breaks the hold of his own accord, rolling to his knee and eyeing the roaring Axl.

Mayne: The damage has been done and the message has been sent. Jon Rich and Katelyn Buehler have just taken out BOTH of their biggest rivals in one night. This couldn’t have worked out any better if they had planned it.

Katie: First they break Evans’ ankle, and then they rip apart Axl’s arm. It’s about time that Katelyn and Jon started living up to the Five Star Society’s expectations.

Evermore continues to hold his swollen arm across his chest, grumbling and mumbling, his words gibberish but nevertheless insulting. Katelyn sashays towards Rich and wraps her arms around his waist, putting her head affectionately against his chest. He throws his arm over her shoulders and the two join in watching Evermore squirm.

A CALL TO ARMS

The crowd is jarred from their somber dread, now reacting like drunken co-eds in a Girls Gone Wild video. The motivation behind their switch in emotion stems from the sight of both Simon Cagero and Too Magnificent standing on opposite sides of Michelle Blacker. The two still look to be surging with adrenaline based off of their antics earlier in the night. In fact, Too Magnificent still has the very trashcan he used on Riggs’ skull hanging over his shoulder.

Michelle: Backstage Blacker standing here with the MOUSA….gentlemen…

She finally turns to address them.

Michelle: Earlier tonight you fired the first shot and perhaps gave yourselves a definitive psychological edge headed into Hell in a Cell…..

Too Magnificent: Psychological what now?

Too Magnificent looks towards Simon, who shrugs.

Too Magnificent: I don’t know about Simon, but I wasn’t thinking ahead or about psychology when I went out there earlier and took this trashcan to Riggs’ skull. My only motivation was the thrill, the thrill of introducing this steel can to the man holding my STOLEN N.H.B Championship.

He slaps the dent that Riggs’ skull left in the can.

Blacker: That’s all well and good, but do you think having a psychological advantage will overcome the disadvantage of being one teammate short in the cell?

Simon: Well oh no, my oh my, we’re fucked because AWOL upped and decided not to be a team-player.

Simon looks grief stricken before he bucks up.

Cagero: I don’t know what crawled up AWOL’s ass and I don’t care, but the truth is, we need him. Or at least it be nice to have him at our side when we step into that cell.

Michelle: But didn’t he say….

Simon: Can that shit double D….

She looks down and judges her cup size.

Simon: Fuck speculation, let’s deal in fact. You know, I know, all my fuckers out there know….

As he gestures towards the camera the crowd pops.

Cagero:….that AWOL is here and he’s watching. He’s just biding his time, waiting to strike. Well I say, why waste all that pint up aggression AWOL?

He addresses his comments to the camera, as if it were a conduit directly to AWOL’s ears.

Simon: Why not put it to good use? Instead of participating in some convoluted run in, or doing some self mutilation, or setting something on fire, or masturbating to Rob Zombie movies….you get my drift….why waste all that rage, why not use it in the cell, tonight. You know you want to AWOL, and you know this Hell in a Cell is the closest your gonna get to having your match with Generation Now.

He becomes a bit more stoic and serious.

Cagero: Just accept the inevitable, Anthony. Your not gonna get a better chance at good ole’ fashion payback than here and now. Come to your senses, stand by our side in that cell, take your vengeance against Generation Now, and for once use your aggression for something productive. No, no, I don’t mean beating up some faceless referee, or chatting it up with the animal kingdom, I mean coming to that ring and doing your fucking job. Don’t pass up the opportunity to be locked in a cell with Riggs and Jackson Adams. Don’t be stupid.

Simon forces the microphone away from his lips as he and Too Magnificent leave the interview area. Michelle watches them walk away while licking her lips.

RICK-ROHL VS. ROBIN BROOKS

“The Game” ushers one Black Widow forth to the stage. Robin Brooks storms through the curtains to the stage and doesn’t show one inkling of backing down. Before the fans even have time to properly react with discourse Robin is already rolling into the ring and pacing back and forth. Clearly she is wasting no time tonight, all business, 100% of her focus squarely on overcoming Rick-Rohl and punishing him for a long list of transgressions.

Mayne: Robin is about to prove an age old saying true….

Katie: That there is no greater fury than a woman’s scorn?

Billy: Nooooo, but that’s a good one, let’s go with it. I was gonna say you shouldn’t wear white after labor day, but yours makes more sense.

Katie: A LOT more sense. I understand Robin, we have a lot more in common besides the fact than amazing looks and amazing wrestling skill. Over the past few months we’ve both been hunted, backed into corners. Everyone has wanted a piece of us….

Mayne: There’s only one piece that I want of you, Goddess.

Katie: If I can refrain from vomiting I’ll finish my thought. Rick-Rohl is about to find out what women like us our capable of when cornered. Just you watch.

The Black Widow looks truly menacing as she paces in anticipation of this grudge match several weeks in the making.

NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP!

To the stage gyrates Rick-Rohl, who receives an outpouring of support. He shimmies down the ramp, throwing his muscular, half nude frame around to the delight of the females and the amusement of those male onlookers. Rick elicits some type of reaction from everyone in the building, rather it be favorable from the fans, or one of disdain from the onlooking Black Widow. Her lips are sneered with disgust as she watches Rohl climb to the apron and continue to do some pelvis thrusting.

Billy: Rick-Rohl audaciously dancing his way to the ring….

Katie: Yep, but he won’t be able to dance with his legs shoved up his ass. Brooks is gonna bend and contort him like a dead hooker in the trunk of Damian Angel’s car.

Billy: He deserves to be beaten worse than a prostitute, he brought it all on himself.

Steward: Damn straight he did. For starters his name is so 2008. That’s cause alone to beat him savagely.

Upon entering the ring Rick is treated to an image of Brooks’ sneering face. She paces in anticipation of the bell chiming. Never before has she been so eager to hear those three symbolical rings. The official turns and signals for the start right before he’s grabbed by the jersey and flung towards Rohl, Robin employing him as a weapon.

Mayne: What the hell?

Rick acts quickly, catching the ref and then sweeping him aside just as Brooks steps in and punts him to the uprights. The official turns around just time to spot Robin’s foot caught in the clutches of the dancing bodyguard. A look of panic stretches across Robin’s face, now pleading with Rick who pretends to lend a sympathetic ear. Finally he just shoves the foot down, steps forward and almost rips her head off with a lariat. Brooks hits the canvas and rolls across it to the outside of the ring.

Mayne: Where is Robin going? She was so eager to start this match and now she’s trying to get away from Rick.

Katie: Obviously Rohl is employing dirty tactics. Plus this is all strategy. Robin will compete when she WANTS to compete, not a second sooner. She’s like me, she doesn’t answer to authority.

Brooks clutches at her throat while moving around the ring, trying to keep her distance from her opponent. Rohl closes the gap, departing the ring, grabbing Brooks by the hair and then depositing her back into the squared circle. Brooks reaches her knees, scooting across them urgently into the far cables. She lunges through them, landing on her feet.

Rick follows the same path that she set, scrambling after Brooks, ending up outside of the ring as well. He steps up right behind her and grabs at the locks of her hair. Brooks releases a loud squeal as she spins around, being taken by the jaw. Her head is raised so that she can see Rick’s flapping lips and the sincerity in his eyes.

Rohl: You think you can just walk away from this Brooks, huh, huh? After everything you’ve done to my boss…..my friend…..your not gettin’ away with ANYTHING!

Rohl yanks her forward, elevates her high into the air and finally deposits her into the ring with a gorilla press. Brooks flies through the ropes and lands on the canvas, quickly scrambling across it once more.

Mayne: Why isn’t the referee doing anything about this?

Katie: Because he’s the same type of deficient idiot the IWC ALWAYS employs.

The dominate and vengeful Rick leaps into the ring just in time to cut Brooks off as she attempts to flee. He grabs hold of her leg and drags her back to the center, lifting his foot and attempting to stomp in her face. She rolls out of the way just as the boot misses her skull and collides with the canvas.

Rohl stomps after her, foot barely grazing her cranium. She rolls to her knee and then tries to punch Rick right in the testicles. However, much like earlier her plan backfires, her wrist caught in Rick’s clutches. A grin is produced on his face, shaking his head before he yanks on the arm and drags her to her feet. He then catches her by the throat to a rousing response from the crowd.

Steward: Unhand her, don’t you dare chokeslam her Rick, don’t you dare! Don’t make this Goddess perform some heavenly intervention.

Rohl hoists her up into the air only for Brooks to slip her nails into his eyes and rake them, freeing herself from his clutches. She lands on her feet mere inches separated from Rick-Rohl and then leaps forward, the top of her skull colliding directly with the dancer’s gut. The official watches closely, but did not see that her skull went a little south of the belt, inflicting punishment on the crotch region as well.

Mayne: That’s the perfect area on Rick’s body to target.

Katie: But from what I’ve heard, it’s not that big of a target area.

With Rick doubled over, clutching at his lower extremities Robin has him perfectly placed for the Spider Bite. She takes him around the neck, drops to his seat and successfully connects with the stunner. Rick’s neck snaps back as does his body, the big man collapsing to the canvas.

Instead of going for the pinfall Brooks gestures to the turnbuckle. The crowd groans as Robin calls her shot, slipping through the ropes and scaling the turnbuckle in preparation for the shooting star press.

Mayne: Could we behold the beautiful Flying Star from the venomous Black Widow? It’s been so long since we’ve seen it.

Katie: Longer than it takes my Minion to solve rudimentary mathematical equations.

Billy: That’s not true, as long as I can count on my fingers.

The crowd grimaces collectively as Brooks reaches the top rope, stabilizes herself and prepares for the all too fatal leap. She just begins to take off when she spots Rohl reaching his feet beneath her. He barrels in the direction of the Black Widow, who takes flight from the uppermost cable and soars over his head. As she travels over the behemoth her boots nail him in the back of the skull, almost taking him from his feet. He twists into the corner, falling against it with both arms dangling upon the ropes.

Brooks ducks into a roll ending up on her feet then turning towards her prone prey with cheetah like speed. The villainous vixen rushes in and leaps towards Rohl, throwing a lariat towards his throat. However, Rick reaches out, catches Brooks across the chest and sweeps her legs out from under her, driving the Black Widow to the canvas with a standing STO.

Mayne: YIKES! Ring rust….

Katie: Yep, exactly. That’s all this is, ring rust. Robin hasn’t wrestled in months, of course she’s not going to be on top of her game.

Billy: Yeah, she’s far more use to being on top of things other than her game.

Steward: Pardon?

Mayne: Sorry, it’s kind of hard to repress my deep rooted sexism.

Brooks arches her spine from the ring as she rolls towards the center, trying once again to create some distance between herself and her opponent. Rohl doesn’t let her get very far. He pounces upon Brooks, snatching the bangs of her hair, forcing her to an upright base then scooping the Black Widow to his shoulder.

The crowd pops as he rushes across the ring and delivers the running powerslam. No wait, just mere seconds before he can drive Brooks into the canvas she’s slipping from his shoulder and landing behind his back. She now rushes in to take advantage only for Rohl to turn, catch her gut to his hand, heave her into the air then drive her down to the canvas with organ bursting velocity. The spinebuster sends Brooks into convulsions and opens the window for a Rick-Rohl victory. He drops to the cover and hooks both legs.

1

2

The Black Widow’s shoulder evades canvas and staves off defeat.

Mayne: Alright Brooks, time to employ your super secret weapon. Come on, do it.

Katie: Your Goddess thinks that the world’s most powerful weapon would be a picture of you bending over in a speedo.

Mayne: I actually have that photo. See its right here in my wallet…..

Steward: Get it away before my vision is permanently damaged.

Rohl groans as he reaches his feet, stretching his neck from side to side and all around to work out the kinks of the stunner. After doing some quick stretching Rohl goes back to work on his traumatized opponent. Brooks is snatched by the bangs and forced to her feet, the Black Widow all shaken up after the stiff slams she’s endured throughout this match.

Her punishment is not complete. Rohl snatches her around the neck with both hands, physically hoists her from her feet and then tosses her spine first into the turnbuckle. She lands against the corner and would have fallen if her right arm hadn’t hooked the top rope. It holds her up just long enough to endure a running knee strike directly to the ribcage.

Brooks bends over nearly coughing up a lung while Rick backs to the center of the ring and gets another running start. This time he charges right into the elevated boots of Brooks, but before they can catch his jaw he catches them. Her ankles fall directly into his palms, causing Brooks to begin hyperventilating in terror.

A sinister grin forms across Rohl’s features, Rick beginning to nod as if to symbolize that Brooks is indeed in his clutches. He now yanks on her feet only for Brooks to flip completely over backwards and land in an upright position.

Rick is flabbergasted at the sight of this, prompting him to rush forward only to be given a swift dropkick directly to the shin. The blow knocks his legs out from under him and sends Rick toppling forward face first into the second turnbuckle pad. His skull bounces back and the ricochet causes him to reach his feet where he’s drilled with a spinning heel kick to the noggin.

Robin’s heel catches him right on the back of the skull and knocks his face down directly into the top turnbuckle pad.

Katie: Now she’s starting to get back in her groove. I think it dawned on her that she was being beaten by a half naked man wearing a bowtie.

Mayne: You know what’s funny?

Katie: The size of your penis?

Mayne: Nevermind.

Brooks hastily rushes to her feet and then charges in behind Rick, snatching him around the waist with both arms. She seems to be on the verge of dropping into a roll up only for Rick to surprise her via the elbow to the temple. The shot sends her spiraling across the ring to the center where she doubles over clutching at her cranium. Rohl spins around and comes charging in only to fall victim to a devastating leaping knee strike right on the jaw.

The brain scrambling strike knocks Rick back into the turnbuckle, his hefty frame falling into the corner with Brooks looking to take advantage. She rushes in, leaps into the air and gets caught across the sternum for another standing STO. This time Brooks falls to the canvas and delivers a shocking counter via the arm drag. Rohl flips over Brooks’ body and hits the canvas with force. He goes rolling across it straight to his knees. The moment he gets one foot beneath him Brooks comes charging in on the verge of taking full control. She charges right into the raised boot of Rohl though, Rick leaping to his feet and delivering a violent big boot that topples his rival.

Mayne: Noooo, not again.

Brooks collapses to the canvas, palms engulfing her face as she rolls towards the apron.

Katie: Get a breather Brooks. Quick, go give her a drink of water and tell her to spit into this bucket.

Billy: Hopefully the water has some steroids in it, looks like she’ll need them.

On the apron Brooks is employing the ropes to reach her seat. She just gets up, looking incredibly dazed when Rohl barrels across the ring and drives the side of his knee through the ropes directly into her face. The collision knocks Brooks from the apron and sends her plummeting spine first to the mats. She hits the thin protective padding and squeals.

Katie: Somebody call a time out! Your Goddess demands it.

The fans are chanting Rick’s name as he steps back to the center of the ring and shows off his dominance with a good ole’ fashion hip grinding. The girls swoon and the guys cheer at Rick’s over the top antics. He finally stops shaking what his momma gave him in favor pulverizing another individual in possession of ovaries that has had quite the impact on his life.

Brooks crawls across the mats, never having expected such a beating from her gargantuan opponent. What she expected and what she receives are too entirely different things. This becomes evident as she is forced to her feet, taken by the skull and thrown head over heels into the barricade. She bounces from the steel and collapses to the mats, gripping at her kidneys and crying out in agony.

Rohl takes her around the neck and leads her up to her feet. She almost loses her balance as she’s pulled towards the announce table, has her head retracted and is then slammed skull first off the hardest portion of the wood.

Mayne: This is starting to get worse than Passion of the Christ.

Katie: I see that the time has come.

Billy: Bwuh?

Steward: Your about to find out.

Rick shows no signs of mercy as he snatches Brooks by the bangs, leads her to her feet then delivers a straight right hand to the forehead. She goes spiraling towards the ring and eventually rolls in under the ropes. Once inside she turns and winks towards the commentator’s table.

Katie: There’s my cue.

Mayne: What? Where are you going?

The dominant Rohl climbs up onto the apron and gets one leg through the ropes before his other limb is drilled with a steel pipe to the crease of the knee. The fans are unanimous in their rage as Katie backs away from her victim, weapon in hand and grin on her face.

Mayne: Katie just hit Rick right in the knee with that steel tubing. I’ve never been so smitten with her in my whole life.

The referee is busy dealing with Brooks, who has hold of his jersey and is desperately clawing her way upwards. He tries to fight free as Rohl tumbles into the ring behind him, clutching at his knee and roaring at the top of his lungs.

Billy: Steward may have just fractured Rick’s knee, she may have broken it down completely with that shot. Goddess how I love her.

Brooks gives the crowd more justification for their rage when she shoves the official aside, grabs Rick’s injured leg and swings around it. Before Rohl can fight her off he’s being placed in the figure four leg lock. The big man falls to his back and buries his face behind his palms. The agony is almost insurmountable at this point, finding himself on the brink of submission.

Mayne: Tap Rick-Rohl, tap you hip grinding bastard!

Katie steps around the announce table and hides the steel pipe beneath it before returning to her seat.

Billy: Thank you Goddess…

Katie: I didn’t do this for you, but feel free to leave offerings at my shrine.

Rohl twists from side to side, trying to break the seemingly unbreakable grasp of the Black Widow. She only tightens the submission until she can hear the cartilage in Rick’s knees starting to snap. Rohl continues to fight though before he eventually twists just enough to grab the bottom rope.

Mayne: How the hell did he….?

Steward: Oh great, just when I sat down.

Mayne: Feel free to stand back up, it offers me a much better view.

Before the abuse can begin at ringside it continues inside of the ring. Robin continues to clamp on the figure four with the official screaming at her to let go. He starts a five count, reaching four and finally causing her to release her traumatized opponent. She quickly stands up and grabs the legs only for Rick to use his one good foot to shove her away. The Black Widow goes twisting across the ring before planting her feet just as Rohl ascends to an upright base. She comes rushing in once again only for Rick to deck her across the jaw. Brooks stumbles back once more and now Rick hobbles in her direction, looking to pulverize the villainous vixen.

Unfortunately he runs right into her clutches. The creases of his knees are caught and his legs are ripped out from under him. Rohl collapses to his back and Brooks steps through the legs, dropping down into the figure four.

Mayne: She’s got the hold locked in again, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

Katie: Good, I don’t have to get up then.

Billy: Awww.

Rohl falls to his back and slams the sides of his fists against the canvas. Try as he may he just can’t muster the strength to break the hold for a second time. He collapses to his back and engulfs his face with his palms, his whole body shivering at this point.

Mayne: TAP ALREADY!

Brooks applies more and more pressure on the legs until they are on the verge of popping at the joints. Rick is still refusing to give up, twisting from side to side, now dragging himself in the direction of the cables which are many feet away. Brooks realizes that Rick has entirely too much fight left in him. She breaks her own hold, a move she may live to regret then ascends to her feet. The Black Widow lifts the legs into the air and goes for a kick to the back of the knee only for Rohl to suddenly yank her forward into the small package. He rolls her over while the official makes the count.

1

2

3

The fans react with a piercing roar as Rohl has just shocked the Black Widow with a surprising pin.

Mayne: Rick-Rohl…..he just….he just PINNED Robin Brooks.

Katie: HOW!?! I had to have busted his knee with that pipe shot. This is an insult to your Goddess and her pipe swinging abilities.

Brooks sits up steaming, her skin a dark red and her blood bubbling. She wants to rip out clumps of her hair but refrains as Rick stands up behind her, hobbling on one leg with both arms raised in victory. That’s when Brooks takes out her frustrations on his injured knee. She dives shoulder first into the crease of his kneecap, knocking Rohl to his spine where Brooks quickly locks his injured leg in the figure four yet again.

The bell chimes and Brooks continues to apply pressure on the legs, inflicting as much damage as she possibly can on the knees. Rick slaps the canvas repeatedly, and now sits forward swinging wildly at Brooks’ face. She remains out of his reach and puts even more pressure on the legs, doing untold amounts of damage.

Mayne: Rick tapping but it isn’t enough, nothing will be enough. He incurred her wrath and now he’s going to suffer the consequences of his actions.

Rohl falls to his back on the verge of blacking out from the pain in his knees. That’s when salvation comes in the form of his employer Hurse. In a reversal of fortunes, it’s Parkwood racing to the rescue of his bodyguard.

Katie: And here comes Hurse to run everything, AGAIN.

The crowd is at a fevered pitch as Hurse slides into the ring prompting Brooks to immediately break the figure four. She rolls away to her knees and finds her eyes locked with her ex lover’s. The two of them exchange a very tense glare.

Steward: Alright Robin, do your worse. Put this idiot behind you once and for all.

Mayne: It’s about time she finally dealt with this albatross.

Their eyes continue to connect and their minds swarm with a plethora of emotions. Somehow Hurse stows his hands, keeping them from locking around Robin’s throat, even as a grin forms across her face. Hurse’s reluctance to get physical prompts the Black Widow to get a bit more comfortable, perhaps a little too comfortable.

Robin: I knew you’d come to me, Steven.

His body trembles as she approaches.

Brooks: No one walks away from me, they always come back. I spun my web and now your tangled in it.

The sultry sexpot slips her hands onto Steven’s shoulders.

Robin: You can’t leave me, Steven. Not after all we’ve been through. Sure, we’ve had our problems this past year, but what relationship doesn’t suffer some trials and tribulations. You know we can overcome this, that we belong together.

The rage that swells beneath Hurse’s eyes begins to deflate.

Robin: We’re destined to be together, forever. You just needed a little reminding. That’s why I manipulated Katelyn into double crossing you, so she couldn’t stand in our way anymore. It’s why I faked my pregnancy. It wasn’t to hurt you, it was to bring us closer. It was the only way to bring you back into my life and make you realize just how much you love me. And you do Steven, as much as you hate to admit it, your totally smitten with me. You can’t deny it, you know that your heart belongs to me.

She interlocks her hands around the back of his neck, her lips drawing closer to his. This uncomfortable scene finally ends not with a kiss but with a push. Hurse wedges his hands to Robin’s stomach and shoves her back onto her seat.

Mayne: What an idiot! He’s turning down puntang! You never do that, EVER!

Steward: HE turned down Robin? Steven Parkwood denied Robin Brooks? I should find a bomb shelter because something tells me the world is about to end.

The trembling, enraged Hurse stands over the seated Brooks, wagging a finger in her direction.

Hurse: We’re over Robin, we’re through. Stay away from me or God help me….

He can’t even bring himself to finish his sentence after his tone became as guttural as Clint Eastwood’s in Gran Torino. Surprisingly the Black Widow does not lash out after being humiliated in the center of the ring. She just sits, shaken, stunned. Hurse walks right past her and helps Rick reach his feet, Rohl utilizing his employer as a crutch. The two make their way in the direction of the ropes where Hurse parts them so that Rick can slide through.

Katie: And now he’s just walking away? Robin, COME ON, I have a steel pipe right here. I’ve barely gotten any use out of it tonight.

Hurse pauses on the apron, looking back at the shocked Brooks one last time before he shakes his head and drops to the outside. He supports Rick who can barely put any pressure on his damaged leg, assisting him up the ramp.

Mayne: Is this it, is this the end of Robin and Hurse as we know it?

The Master of Control is perfectly content with this awkward encounter being the resolution to his long, torrid love affair with the Black Widow but Robin isn’t about to let that happen. After rolling to the outside of the ring in order to snatch the microphone violently from the clutches of Kailey Wolf she unloads with a verbal tirade.

Robin: You think it’s that easy!?! You think you can just walk away after all we’ve been through!?!

The villainous vixen rolls into the ring and gets to her feet, going spastic.

Brooks: You can’t spurn me, Steven, you can’t just leave me….

Hurse looks back with a look of repulsion before continuing to assist his partner up the ramp.

Robin: God damn you Steven! God damn you! Is that how you want to end this, huh, huh? FINE! But if you want this to be over it’s gonna end on MY terms. I want you to show me that this is over. Show me at Paranoia VII. Face me one on one, and we’ll see if this is the end!

Mayne: Whoa-ho-ho, what a challenge made by Robin Brooks.

Steward: Yes, but we all know that Hurse will be too much of a momma’s boy to accept.

The fiery Brooks waits for the answer and it isn’t one she was banking on. Hurse looks back at the blond bombshell and offers a stoic response.

Hurse: This is over, Robin, and if it takes beating you at Paranoia to put you in my past, then so be it.

Robin is taken aback by this comment, never having expected him to answer her challenge.

Mayne: There you have it, its set. Robin Brooks versus Hurse at the grandest spectacle of them all, Paranoia VII!

Katie: Hurse just committed suicide.

Brooks’ face becomes redder than the brightest rose, steam on the eve of rising from her skin. Hurse glares at her stoically in spite of the many emotions repressed beneath the surface. It dawns on them that the end has truly come, and the grand finale, the final bang will take place at Paranoia VII.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

You Can’t Argue with Perfection

THE REBUTTAL

The Original Prankster sits in shocking silence. He dwells in thought, contemplating just how to broach his next point. Needless to say that Christian Savior isn’t exactly sitting on the edge of his seat anticipating his next slew of slanderous remarks. In fact, he sits comfortably relaxed, slouched in his chair, overlooking the two titles weighing down his lap.

Porno Lad: So I guess what really bothers you, partner, is the fact that it’s taken me months to do what took you years to accomplish. Is that about the gist of it?

Before Savior can correct him, PL proceeds.

Porno Lad: No, no, I think we all know the answer. Your jealousy of me has been evident since day one. I knew it since the second that we hatched our plan to eliminate both Johnny King-dung and Borelando Snooze from the IWC. I saw it in your eyes then, and I see it in your eyes now. Seeing my success, and seeing it accumulate so rapidly tears at your guts. Why? Because the thought that there is someone better than you just turns your intestines.

Christian: Preposterous.

Porno Lad: But I am, Christian. Sorry, it’s not my fault I have mad skills. You can’t blame me for my genetics. You can’t be upset with a man just because he has talent. That’s like hating a blind man, just for being blind. Speaking of which, I think your eyes have been closed for way too long, Christian. If you think I’ve been handed anything, you must be blind, or like Dustin Hoffman, Rainman retarded. Obviously you haven’t seen my stunning victories over the likes of Johnny Kingdom, AWOL, Hurse, so on and so on. And I’ve done it all with the weight of the Five Star Society on my back.

Savior sighs and gives a judgmental shake of his head.

Porno Lad: You want to know why I’m the defacto leader of the Five Star Society? Why Douglas has chosen me over you? It’s because I get things done. Every goal I’ve set out to accomplish I’ve achieved. I’ve led the Five Star Society to victory time and time again. But look at you, Christian. The only place you ever led the Conspiracy was into an open grave, and now you’re trying to do the same thing to my Five Star Society. Instead of falling into line like you should have and doing as Douglas demanded, you had to rock the boat. Well this is one boat I don’t plan on being knocked off of.

Christian: Seriously? You think I’M the trouble maker?

Douglas: Christian, please….

Dan leans forward from the shadows and finally gets in a word only to be silenced by Savior.

Christian: Dan, I think you need to hear this too, so SHUT UP!

The IWC Chairman groans but falls back in his chair. The Rising Phoenix leans across the table, getting closer to PL, adding more menace to his comments.

Savior: Usually I would take being called a trouble maker as a compliment, but not when it’s implied that I’M the one causing drama in the ranks of the Five Star Society. For once I’ve been compliant, I kept my mouth shut even when I wanted so badly to speak up. Somehow I bit my tongue and remained loyal. That’s until you started throwing your power in my face. Before you insulted me by assuming that I would be your underling. Until you and Dan Douglas began to phase me out….

Porno Lad: Which tends to happen to obsolete models.

Christian: You made it perfectly clear that the Five Star Society was all about YOU. That YOU were calling the shots and that nobody else’s opinion was worth a damn.

Porno Lad: There not. See, that’s where you failed with the Conspiracy, Christian. Teams need leaders, people who can make the right decisions. I’m the decision maker, I’m the man the Five Star Society trusts to steer them in the right course. By being the lone leader, the sole decision maker, it enables me to keep the rest of the team under control. That way we don’t have another stable implosion, no power vacuum is created. Everyone falls in line under one man, ME.

Christian: Well I don’t. I didn’t sign up to be part of a dictatorship. I agreed to team with you because we were united by a single goal, a vision of a wrestling utopia free from the likes of boring legends like Cruze, so that everyone can be on a equal playing field. In spite of who may be better, who may be the best wrestler, or the most conniving, the more fit leader.

Porno Lad: And we’ve accomplished that, thanks to my guidance. And now that you’ve used me to vanquish your enemies you suddenly want to turn against me. You want to throw away EVERYTHING that we had envisioned? You want to stab me in the back out of pure jealousy? Jealous because I accomplished more than you in a shorter period of time? Jealous because I’m a better leader? Jealous because I threaten to become the youngest IWC World Champion in history? Is that what this is all about, Christian? That’s your big problem with me? Well then….huh…..I guess you’ve become what we’ve set out to destroy. You’ve become the very legends that made you so bitter and envious. Your……Orlando Cruze.

This insinuation was the straw that shattered the camel’s back. Savior stands up and flips the table onto it’s side, prompting Porno Lad to leap to his feet.

Christian: I think you want to reword that.

Porno Lad: I think not.

Douglas: Guys, guys, please, for the love of God!

Douglas forces them apart and takes deep labored breaths.

Dan: Look at yourselves. LOOK AT YOURSELVES!?!

Christian and Porno Lad dare not take their eyes off of one another despite Douglas’ impassioned pleas.

Douglas: Don’t you see? The Five Star Society is crumbling. It’s FALLING APART! And your BOTH to blame for it.

They finally do veer their sights, eyes locking on Douglas at this point.

Douglas: The old saying rings true, it takes TWO to tango. Your in fighting threatens to destroy your message, it threatens to ruin everything that you’ve worked for. We’ve created that utopian wrestling society you speak of, Christian. Look at who’s at the top? Look at who’s main eventing Paranoia VII. Is it Orlando Cruze? No! Is it Johnny Kingdom? NOPE! It’s Porno Lad and it’s Christian Savior. It’s the Five Star Society! We’re calling all the shots. We finally control our fate. And now, with Orlando selling his stocks to some mystery owner, we need to remain unified. We need to stay the course. The Five Star Society needs you both to be on the same page so we can defend the company that we’ve remodeled.

As much as they hate to admit it, or accept it, Douglas’ statements make sense.

Dan: If we want to keep control we can’t afford to be at each other’s throats. The only people who can stop us now…..well….your looking at them.

Christian and Porno Lad glare a bit more intensely at one another.

Douglas: So stop with the ego trips. If you have any issues, work them out in the ring at Paranoia VII. Fight it out, resolve your differences and then after the match we can regroup, reunified, refocused on the cause. On maintaining our control over this company. Are we clear?

There is no response.

Dan: Are…..we…..CLEAR?

Mumbles.

Christian: Crystal.

Porno Lad: I suppose.

Douglas: GOOD. Now let’s clear this final hurdle. Let’s finish off the Motherfuckers and Generation Now. Once we get past them you two can concentrate exclusively on your World Title ambitions at Paranoia VII, on making sure one of you leaves our biggest event as the Champion. Agreed?

Their heads nod so slowly one would think they were stricken with rigamortis.

JASON ZERO VS. SUZIE CLOVER

Mayne: Just when I thought we reached the pinnacle of our insanity last week tonight things spiral even further out of control. All starting off with that Generation Now speech in the ring then culminating to what just transpired backstage.

Katie: If you want any semblance of sanity you’re looking in the wrong place. But don’t feel bad, SCW is worse. It took them this long to finally give me my SCW World Title at Tactical Terror. I mean, they are pretty much handing me the belt, or serving me on a silver platter to all my enemies.

Mayne: I’d feel sorry for you if you weren’t so damned gorgeous. Anyway, I can only imagine what’s gonna happen nex….

“Sandstorm” by Darude hits the PA system and causes the crowd to orgasm.

Billy: I just had to jinx us.

Katie: Yes, it’s what you do. Apparently Jake Starr is present, which means it gives me the perfect opportunity to jump him before Tactical Terror.

The crowd is still frothing at the mouths in anticipation of seeing Starr live and in person. The hearts of every Canadian fan swells with desire at the thought of SCW’s World Champion making an appearance here live and in person.

Mayne: The audacity of Jake Starr to show up here tonight even with the grievance that Dan Douglas has filed against him for assault. I hope Dan gets his hands on him here tonight.

Katie: And I hope your stricken mute so I never have to hear your generic dialogue again.

Anticipation continues to escalate as the lyrics to Starr’s theme descends over the screaming fans. Their behavior changes, DRASTICALLY, when through the curtains steps not the SCW World Champion but a much different title holder, Jason Zero. With the IWC World Title over his shoulder and Kassie Khane joined at his hip Zero continues to play mind games.

Mayne: Wait….it’s Jason Zero. Jake Starr isn’t here at all, hahahaha.

Steward: Damn, and here I brought this steel pipe with me for nothin.

The crowd doesn’t know what to make of the Champion’s actions here tonight or over in SCW. The lyrics playing in the background begin to die down as Jason raises a microphone to his lips.

Zero: Soak it in, enjoy it, relish it…..

The confused crowd remains unresponsive as Zero gestures to the large PA speakers screwed into the rafters.

Zero: For this will be the last time you EVER hear that theme music playing in an IWC venue.

Some fans cheer, others boo. Jason can care less what their reaction is as he and Kassie proceed towards the ring. While his feet move his lips flap.

Jason: After Paranoia VII there will no longer be any cause for Jake Starr to show up here on Riot! After I’ve defeated him, CONVINCINGLY, and proven that he is NOT the rightful owner of MY belt….

The IWC Championship is raised aloft and then returned to his shoulder.

Zero: And I’ve shown the world who truly is the better wrestler between us, Starr will return to SCW where he belongs never to be seen or heard from again here in the IWC.

Jason proceeds up the steps to the apron while Kassie pauses at ringside. She nods and claps with every word uttered by the World Champion.

Zero: So I hope you all enjoyed this last little, bittersweet taste of Jake Starr. I would suggest that you soak it up while you can. And please, savor every last moment of his match against me at Paranoia VII, because you’ll never see him compete again here in the IWC. I will defeat him, and anyone else who stands between me and MY championship.

Again the gold is raised high into the air, leading to an eruption of cheers from the crowd.

Mayne: Jason Zero making a BOLD statement….

Katie: That wasn’t bold, it was predictable, as is everything concerning the so called champion. Come on, he’s more undeserving of that belt than Jake Starr is of the SCW World Title. Something I’ll prove to them both at Tactical Terror.

Jason unloads his strap onto Kassie’s shoulder, trusting her with the security of his most prized possession. His focus then shifts to the entry way, where his opposition finally emerges. “The Sacrament” plays throughout the building and before long the debuting Suzie Clover steps to the stage. She kicks back her hair, licks her lips and flares her nostrils. A deranged smile stretches over her face as Riggs’ one true flame makes her way to the ring, hell-bent on vanquishing the nemesis of her love. Once at ringside she leaps to the apron, does a perfect splits and then rolls in under the ropes to many catcalls from the males in attendance.

Katie: Oh great, another vagina who wants to follow in my footsteps and THINKS she can wrestle. There’s only one red-hot Goddess of wrestling and I’m her. All these other women do nothing more than water down my marketability.

Mayne: I don’t know what Suzie thinks she’ll do any differently than her boyfriend. Riggs was beaten by Zero and he’s an “accomplished” wrestler. Suzie is delusional if she thinks she’ll do any better.

Katie: I can’t believe you were able to keep a straight face when you said “Riggs” and “accomplished wrestler” in the same sentence.

Mayne: Yeah, I almost lost it.

Once present in the ring and after the bell has chimed Suzie wastes absolutely no time. She stomps towards the IWC World Champion and delivers a straight slap to his face. The fans react with shock as Jason palms the red flesh on his face then turns his chilling gaze towards the tattooed vixen. Before he can properly react he’s drilled to the skull with a forearm, followed by another, and another. The strikes knock Zero back a few paces, desperately trying to plant his feet in an attempt to hold himself up.

Suzie now delivers a kick to his gut, doubling him over.

Mayne: Suzie is actually looking pretty good in there thus far. That tight fitting ring attire really brings out her endowments.

Suzie takes hold of the wrist and whips her opposition across the ring. Just before he can reach the opposite cables Jason turns around and reverses, dragging Clover forward into the Claim to Fame. Suzie is shot towards the heavens, twisted and driven into the canvas with Zero’s version of the sky high press. He leans forward, both palms wedged to Suzie’s stomach as he attempts to hold her down for the pin.

Mayne: So much for that. This match is over before it ever really got started.

Katie: You can thank me for that small miracle.

1

2

Clover kicks out, rolling away from Zero but not getting very far. Jason stands up, grabs the ankles of his opposition and pulls her towards his body. That’s when Suzie twists just enough to wrap her legs around Jason’s neck and then drag him down to the canvas with a head scissors. Zero is sent flipping forward and tucking into a roll where he ends up on his feet.

He quickly stands and rushes at Suzie who leaps into the air and surprises him with a jumping back heel kick on the jaw. The strike knocks Jason into a tailspin, sending him collapsing to the canvas across all fours.

Mayne: What was that? This rookie upstart Suzie Clover just put the World Champion down to one knee.

Katie: As if that’s impressive. I wouldn’t put Jason on a knee, I’d put him on his back, and pin him for the 1, 2, 3. Academic. All done.

Arrogance begins to fill Suzie, who has the audacity to begin jaw jacking with the kneeling Zero.

Suzie: Yeah, that’s right. Riggs taught me all about you. He taught me all your tricks….

In the midst of running her mouth Clover steps in and drives the tip of her elbow into the back of Jason’s head. The Champion collapses to his forearms, reaching for his cranium. Suzie then lifts her foot and keeps it elevated above Jason’s exposed head while rubbing it in. She nods towards the dejected audience then goes for the lethal stomp only to have her foot caught directly above Jason’s cranium.

Zero looks up from the canvas into the now panic stricken eyes of the defiant Suzie. She hops on one foot realizing that she is completely at the mercy of the World Heavyweight Champion. Finally he whips her foot towards the canvas, the momentum causing Suzie to spin all the way around into a straight lariat aimed at the skull.

Suzie ducks, rushes into the cables behind Zero and ricochets off. She comes back in at Jason’s spine and leaps into the air, landing knees first on top of his shoulders.

She drops forward and flips Jason over into another head scissors that has the crowd going bonkers.

Mayne: Oh-ho-ho-ho….

Katie: Emphasis on the ho.

Billy: Suzie Clover just having her way with the World Champion.

Katie: Probably doesn’t make that painted emo she hangs out with happy.

Zero rests on a knee, looking quite insulted by Clover’s persistence. The World Champion finally stands and Clover gestures for him to bring it. She gets tired of waiting, impulsively charging at Zero who ducks his head to back drop her. Suzie is too clever to fall for it. She turns her back to Jason, falls spine first against his back and then flips over, landing on her feet behind him. She then goes staggering into the ropes, ricocheting off and coming straight towards Zero who reaches out to catch her under his arm.

He lifts her up for the side slam only to have Clover wrap her legs around his neck, swing around and counter into another head scissors variation. Jason flips forward and crashes across the canvas, rolling to his knees where he slaps the ring in frustration.

Mayne: This is just awesome, purely awesome. Zero is getting schooled at this point.

Katie: Well maybe Clover has a bit more talent that I was giving her talent for. Although she still looks like a reject from a Rob Zombie slasher flick.

The audacious Clover stands up and spits towards Kassie at ringside. Khane backs up looking disgusted as saliva hits her hand. She wipes it against her dress while listening to the berating comments from Suzie in the ring.

In a white hot flash Zero leaps to his feet and cracks Suzie under the jaw with a forearm shiver. The crowd pops as Zero avenges the besmirching of his precious Kassie. The strike knocks Clover back a few steps and now Zero gets a running start for a second forearm. Clover ducks it and charges into the ropes behind him, Jason turning around to catch her.

He grabs hold of the inbound Clover once she’s ricocheted from the cables and swings her around into the tilt a whirl. Once again Clover wraps her legs around Jason’s neck though and counters into the head scissors. Zero drops into a forward roll, ending up on his feet and falling against the cables. He looks exacerbated by the fact that he keeps falling into Clover’s trap. He holds his neck and then rushes forward, right into the waiting Clover who leaps into the air and nails him to the sternum with a spinning back elbow. Both competitors crash to the canvas with Suzie rolling to her feet and leaping into the air. She spins around with her arms out to her sides, receiving nothing but heckles from an unforgiving audience.

Mayne: The longer this match goes the more and more I like Suzie Clover. Damn she’s impressive. And she’s got some really kinky tattoos.

Katie: Tattoos aren’t indicative of talent, but I agree, she’s putting on a convincing performance against Zero. Just keep working him over Suzie, that way he’ll be less of an annoyance when we clash for the SCW World Title.

The absolutely flabbergasted Zero ends up standing in one of the turnbuckles, back perched against the corner for support. He just gets his feet beneath him when Suzie comes charging in, leaping into the air and walking up Jason’s body before flipping back off his chest. She lands gracefully on her feet and then rushes in for a shoulder block to the ribs.

Zero steps out of the way though, attempting to send Suzie crashing shoulder first into the exposed ring post as a result of her own momentum. However, Clover shows veteran instincts by leaping instead to the middle rope and then springing off. Jason turns around just as Suzie crashes into his sternum, taking them both down to the canvas with a crossbody.

1

2

Jason launches a shoulder from the ring and sends Clover flipping over.

Mayne: Clover was just mere seconds away from pinning the World Champion. She almost had him pinned!

Zero rolls to his knees, looking absolutely shocked that he came within seconds of being defeated by this young upstart. The World Champion rises to his feet as Clover rushes in going for a lariat. That is until Jason bends forward, avoiding the inbound bicep, causing Clover to barrel into the cables behind him.

He spins around to catch her but Suzie surprises him yet again by leaping to the middle rope, springing off and twisting towards her opponent. She lands right on Jason’s shoulders and drops back for another head scissors only to have him wedge his hands to her thighs and send her flipping backwards. She lands on her feet just as Jason barrels forward and connects with the Chaos Theory!

Mayne: FINALLY. Zero catches Suzie and puts her down with an EMPHATIC Chaos Theory. Jesus, I thought it was gonna take all night.

Katie: Yeah, one more head scissors takedown and I probably would have vomited. Preferably all over your face.

Mayne: Hmmm. Why does the thought of that turn me on?

The insulted World Champion makes it clear that he wants this disgrace to end. He crawls onto Suzie and hooks the leg.

1

2

To the shock of everyone in the building Jason rises to his knees and breaks his own pinfall attempt.

Mayne: Uhhhh….idiot.

Katie: He wants to send a message to Jake Starr.

Mayne: How do you know?

Katie: I’m a Goddes, remember? I don’t speculate, I KNOW.

With her bangs in hand Jason drags the barely coherent Clover to her feet. Somehow he props her in a standing position long enough to hit another STO. The back of her head creams the canvas, Clover clutching at her skull and kicking both legs.

Billy: ANOTHER Chaos Theory. This is reminiscent of that hilarious scene on the last Breakdown where Jason Zero gave Sasha Drachewych a well deserved STO.

Katie: That was a tear inducing moment. I laughed so hard I couldn’t help but cry.

Zero drops across Suzie’s sternum, forearm wedged to her face.

1

2

AGAIN he breaks the pin, rising to his knees and lifting her shoulders from the canvas by her bangs.

Mayne: What the hell is he doing, pin her already.

Zero rolls under the ropes and to the apron, grabbing the top cable and anticipating his next maneuver.

Jason: You all love Jake’s convoluted finisher? You like his showy dives? Well wait till you get a load of this.

The verbal build ends when Zero springs to the top rope and flips forward into the Night Flight. He hits the 450 splash right across Suzie’s mid-section, sending her into convulsions.

Billy: Ahhhh, how painful.

The crowd erupts at the sight of his incredibly agile dive. Jason then pops up to a knee and gives them further cause to scream.

Zero: One more time!

The fans start to chant for it, anticipating the sight of another springboard 450 splash. Before he goes through with it, Jason pauses at the ropes and pleads with Kassie to fork over the World Title.

Mayne: He’s going for anot….why’d he stop?

Katie: Good grief…he wants to pose with the World Title for the fourteenth billionth time. We get it. Your champion. Stop trying to convince us, and yourself.

Jason lifts the Championship high above his head, receiving a loud mixed reception. He then turns to address the barely conscious Suzie, her broken body still strewn across the canvas now completely at his mercy.

Jason: You see this? This means respect. This means you show respect for me.

He points to the gold gripped in his palm.

Zero: Your gonna learn this, just like Jake Starr is gonna learn it. And he’s gonna find out at Paranoia VII.

Mayne: Jason Zero making a definitive statement on the heels of Paranoia VII, where he’ll have to potentially defend his belt in not one but TWO title bouts. Although I highly doubt that he’ll…..

In the midst of Jason’s rants the lights in the building cut completely out.

Mayne: Errrm, this seems eerily familiar.

Katie: Isn’t this what Zero always does?

Mayne: Yeah, at least once a week, but I don’t know why he’d trigger a random power outage right here and right….

Suddenly the lights come back up and the crowd implodes at the sight of Jake Starr crouched in the center of the ring. He pivots anxiously between feet in anticipation of connecting with the superkick on the IWC World Champion, who is none the wiser. Jason has no idea that Jake is located directly behind him, on the verge of taking his head off.

Billy: It’s STARR. Jake Starr IS here. And he’s about to give Zero a taste of his own medicine.

Katie: Good. Now would be the perfect time for me to assault them both. Buuuuut, I’m feeling kinda lazy right now. Maybe next time.

The fans are screaming as loud as their lungs will allow as Starr prepares to drill Zero right in the jaw. Jason looks confused by the reaction from the fans, his gaze twisting to Kassie who is trying to warn him. Finally Jason turns around just as Jake lunges forward, boot traveling straight towards his jaw. Just as it’s about to connect, his foot mere inches from Jason’s face the houselights cut out, drowning everything in darkness.

Mayne: What happened, what happened, WHAT HAPPENED!?! Did Jake Starr hit a superkick so epic it destroyed the space time continuum?

Katie: Maybe Douglas had the power cut cause he didn’t want Jake to have the honor of hitting that superkick on an IWC telecast. There, I just came up with my own version of the truth, which you can take as gospel.

The fans are miffed by the power outage until the lights come back up revealing Zero planted on his rump in the center of the ring with a wild gleam in his eyes. Apparently he did not suffer the superkick and fell back instinctively when he thought he was going to fall victim to Starr’s sneak attack. He now desperately cradles the IWC World Title belt. But wait, no, the belt is no longer in his clutches. He looks up and spots the location of his gold, the strap hanging from Starr’s palm. The fans are erupting as Jake stands outside the ring on the second rope of the turnbuckle, with one hand lifting the IWC Championship above him and the other gesturing that he was “this close” to superkicking Zero into oblivion.

Mayne: Jake Starr has the IWC World Title belt and he’s sending a message to Zero. He used Jason’s own tactics against him.

The Canadians continue to scream and chant Starr’s name as the belt remains aloft in his clutches. Before Jason can even react Jake throws the IWC gold back to the canvas before him and then leaps from the turnbuckle to the outside mats. His actions are in response to the line of security guards rushing towards the ring in order to remove him. Jake leaps the barricade and backs up through the crowd, making sure he has eye contact with a still seated Zero. Jason gets to his knees and scoots to the ropes, leaning through them and running his hands through his hair, almost ripping out some follicles.

Billy: Now it’s Starr playing mind games with Zero. Who’s gonna win this human game of chess? I guess we’ll find out at Paranoia VII.

Jake pantomimes the belt across his waist and then points threateningly at an enraged Zero. Jason is so livid he doesn’t even realize that Suzie is slipping in behind him, hooking his shoulder with her legs and the other with her forearm. Zero is suddenly flipped over backwards and held in a crucifix pinning predicament.

Mayne: Wait, wait, wait!

The crowd is exploding as the official’s hand hits the canvas.

1

2

3

The fans look back in time to see Zero PINNED by Suzie Clover.

Billy: No way that just happened!

The whole building rumbles with a reaction the magnitude of an earthquake.

Mayne: Jake Starr just caused Zero to be pinned by Suzie Clover. Jason, our World Heavyweight Champion, was pinned by a rookie.

Katie: Jake did set him up rather nicely.

Zero kicks out a fraction of a second too late, dropping to his knees where his eyes are bugging from their sockets. He slaps the canvas with both palms and then buries his face in his hands. All the while Suzie is rolling under the ropes to the outside, where she falls to her knees, still barely able to move after suffering the assault by Zero.

Mayne: I think Starr is definitely in Zero’s head going into their clash at Paranoia VII.

Kassie slides into the ring to console Zero, bringing him the World Title belt.

EVEN THE ODDS

Evermore: Don’t touch me dammit, get away!

The EMTs desperately try to repair the bruised muscles and potentially fractured bones in Evermore’s arm. However, in spite of their noble intentions Axl continues to swat their hands away, refusing aid. His lips tremble and his body quakes with anger, still fueled by the raw emotion of the attack by his former ally earlier in the night.

EMT: We need to get you to a hos….

Axl: You need to do nothing but get out of my face!

Axl cradles the arm to his stomach and doubles over it, wincing in pain. He allows no hands near the swelling and bruised flesh of his shoulder.

EMT: Your not listening to rea…..

Suddenly a hand reaches in from off screen, pie facing the EMT down to the floor. The others scurry away as Pat Evans hobbles in their direction, his intense eyes and threatening body language sending them running for the hills. Pat can barely stand yet pivots on his injured ankle to face the emotionally unstable Evermore. The Technical Tyrant grimaces as he bends forward, getting eye to eye with his long time nemesis, a man who’s career he tried to end on multiple occasions. But now they find themselves face to face for an entirely different reason.

Evans: This isn’t working.

Intrigue replaces rage.

Evermore: What?

Pat: As much as I hate to admit it, I can’t get revenge against Rich or Buehler on my own, and neither can you.

The two continue to lock eyes, perhaps coming to an understanding. Evermore reads between the lines and doesn’t like the message that resides there.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

The Greatest Vignette of All Times

TAG TITLE CORONATION

Coming back from commercial break the fans are greeted with an image of the IWC Tag Team Title belts. Both straps are encased in glass and positioned within the center of the squared circle.

Billy: Okay, seriously, when have we ever done a title coronation ceremony? We’ve never even done this for the World Heavyweight Title, yet the Tag Team belts are getting all the love?

Katie: Why do you sound so angry?

Billy: Because, with the exception of calling the Five Star Society’s matches, I’m supposed to criticize everything that the IWC does.

Katie: I’ve taught you well.

The belts continue to gleam in the center of the ring while Kailey Wolf steps between the straps microphone in hand.

Kailey: Ladies and gentlemen would you please welcome the presenters of the IWC Tag Championships, representing the two teams that fought for the titles at the very first Paranoia, Remix and Serenity!

Some cheesy inspirational, eighties-esque synthesizer music ushers these IWC Tag Team legends to the stage. The fans give a warm reception to one half of Gangsta Nation, Remix, as he steps to the stage wearing a fly ensemble. He pauses and waves to the crowd before proceeding to the ring. He’s followed by the still sensual Serenity, who has shed her goth attire for a more traditional evening gown this evening. The Coven member blows a kiss to the cheering audience as she follows Remix towards the ring.

Mayne: What are these two ancient jobbers doing here? They actually flew them in for THIS?

Katie: I haven’t seen these two in age….oh wait, I’ve NEVER seen these two before. I guess I should count myself lucky.

Mayne: Indeed you should. From my understanding Remix and Serenity were part of warring factions that collided at Paranoia I in a three team Tag Title bout.

Katie: Don’t bother with the history lessons, I’m not interested in the slightest.

Remix enters the ring and then sits on the middle rope, surprisingly parting it for his former long time rival. Serenity begins to slip through only for Remix to suddenly step back, letting the ropes close in before she can enter. She stands up and scowls at the grinning Remix before shaking her head and finally getting into the squared circle. The Canadians continue to pay their respects to these two figments from IWC’s/ULW’s long, illustrious past.

The cases are opened at this point and the IWC Tag Team Titles are removed, the straps strewn over the forearms of both Remix and Serenity.

Mayne: Well, here we have it. A bit of history colliding with the present and possibly the future.

Kailey: Now to accept the Tag Team Titles, please welcome one half of the newly crowned champions, “BAD” BILLY MITCHELL!

There is a sizeable pop for the unpredictable Mitchell, who wastes little time in making his entrance.

PULL THE TRIGGER

The lyrics are screamed through the PA system and emphasize the arrival of Mitchell. Billy steps to the stage with a cavalier grin on his face. His eyes twist from side to side, fixating on the slightly more attractive fans in attendance. Many of the Canadians don’t know what to make of Billy, a bit miffed by his transgressions as of late. The undefeated Mitchell slips through the cables into the ring and wastes absolutely no time posturing to the crowd. He approaches Serenity and takes her by the hand, planting a kiss on the back of her knuckles.

Mayne: Ever the gentleman….HA….Billy Mitchell paying some respect to Serenity, a tag team icon.

Serenity graciously hands the IWC Tag Title belt over to Mitchell in a symbolic, passing of the torch moment. Billy looks into the golden plate, examining his reflection in his very first championship. His gaze is only broken when Remix steps in and offers his palm. Mitchell doesn’t hesitate to take the outstretched hand and shake it to a loud reaction from the Canadians in attendance.

Billy: I’m surprised, seems Mitchell is actually taking this whole coronation seriousl…

Billy spoke too soon, because within seconds Remix’s head is snapping back as a result of the Silver Bullet. The crowd gasps as Mitchell delivers his patented stunner on the tag team legend, laying him out in a fraction of a second.

Mayne: SILVER BULLET! He put Remix right on his back.

Steward: This has to be the highlight of the show thus far.

Serenity watches with wide eyes as Remix tumbles to the canvas. Before long her shock turns to amusement. She actually doubles over, laughing at the fate that befell her former rival. She slaps her knee from the hilarity of seeing him suffer the Silver Bullet. She keeps on laughing right until she turns around and eats a Silver Bullet from Mitchell. Serenity falls back and now lies right beside Remix.

Mayne: And Mitchell stuns ANOTHER legend.

After laying out two of IWC’s iconic tag team figures Mitchell snatches them from the canvas and tosses their unconscious bodies through the ropes with little regard. His focus then shifts to Kailey, who is smart enough to put some distance between herself and the deranged heartthrob. After dispensing with the former tag team elitist Mitchell retrieves the microphone from the canvas and lifts to his smirking lips.

Mitchell: Now that I’ve cleared those fossils outta the way we can do this right Foxxy Arcane. See, the only person who’s gonna be handin over any belts, is me. I want to test your meddle boy, see if you got the quppos to come down that ramp and take this….

One of the Tag Team Titles are raised from the canvas into Billy’s palm.

Billy:….belt from my hand. That’s the only way your gonna get your hands on it, Foxxy. Let’s find out just how courageous you really are. Let’s find out if I made the right choice when I selected you as my very first target. So come on. March out here and…..

Mitchell is silenced by the lyrics of Fox Arcane’s entrance music. They play over the PA system and lead to a resounding ovation from the sold out crowd. The smile on Billy’s face becomes all the more dastardly, widening at the first glimpse of the X-Class Champion. Arcane wastes absolutely no time strolling through the curtains and pausing on the stage, where he adjusts his singles gold over his shoulder. With an intense expression on his face Fox heads towards the ring, ready to chance fate by stepping into the ring with one of the most unpredictable athletes to grace an IWC ring.

Mayne: I’m a little perplexed….

Katie: As if there’s anything surprising about that.

Mayne: Why would Arcane even come out here knowing that Mitchell just did to those legends?

Under the ropes and into the ring Fox rolls, not removing his eyes from Mitchell all the while, nor the belt that is outstretched in his hand.

Billy: Glad you could make it, partner.

This comment makes Fox’s skin squirm.

Mitchell: Now how about you waltz on over here and take this belt. Come and get it.

He continues to thrust the championship outward. Instead of being baited into grabbing the title, Fox instead takes a microphone.

Arcane: What the hell is wrong with you? I mean, really?

Mitchell remains stoic.

Fox: Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not asking cause I’m bothered by you beating down a couple of has-beens. They had it coming. What does have me questioning your sanity is that you threw away any opportunity you had to hang with the A-lister, the superstar of superstars, ME. You sacrificed the chance to ride my coattails into superstardom. Why? What would compel you to commit career suicide?

Mitchell: Career suicide? That’s your take on it, Foxxy?

Fox: I call it how I see it.

Billy: Well your vision must be impaired, son. Sure, when I gave you the Silver Bullet last week, it might have been a little impulsive, but I don’t regret it, cause it’s opened just the window I was looking to dive through.

Arcane: Get to the point.

Mitchell: I came into this federation not to simply coast through the competition, I’m here to make my legacy by defeating the best. And as hard as it may be for me to admit, they don’t come much better than the UNDEFEATED X-Class Champion himself, Fox Arcane.

Arcane: Can’t argue with you there.

Mitchell: When I first heard about your streak my purpose became clear, I had to be the man who ended it.

Mitchell takes a bold step in Fox’s direction, Arcane refusing to back down.

Billy: I had to be the one to hit you with a Silver Bullet, pin you 1, 2, 3 in the middle of this here ring and END your undefeated record while continuing my own. Last week you proved you were worth my time and my effort when we became the sole survivors of that battle royal. Now show me once more that I didn’t make the wrong decision in giving you the honor of being my very first victim. Reach out and take this belt.

Like a serpent offering an apple Billy extends the Tag Title belt. Fox’s eyes are drawn to the strap, a belt he won fair and square just weeks ago after putting in a valiant, career defining effort. His gaze transfers from the gold to the face of Mitchell.

Arcane: Hmmmm, you know what, that sounds good, but I’ve got a better idea. How about I not only take my belt but……lay you on your ass?

Arcane quickly snatches the championship out of Billy’s clutches then strikes him across the jaw. The blow knocks Billy back a few steps before he responds with a shot of his own. The crowd is going nuts as the two exchange strikes in the center of the ring.

Mayne: Fox Arcane and Billy Mitchell are going at it. Some Tag Team Champions these two are gonna make.

Fists continue to fly, bare knuckles colliding with bone. As each strike connects the crowd gets louder, their uproar near deafening at this point. Both men seem hell-bent on softening up the other and it takes the intervention of security to keep them from mutilating one another. A gang of guards slide into the ring and promptly begin to force Mitchell and Arcane away from one another. The moment of the security personnel so much as lays a finger on the southern lothario he swings around and decks him across the jaw. He then goes after Arcane again only to be restrained by five security guards. It takes an equal amount of security to keep Fox away from his tag team partner, pinning him in the opposite corner.

Billy: Aww just let them mangle each other.

Katie: Yes, it will save us the time of having to call their matches and PRETEND that we care.

Arcane is cutting lose with some verbal jabs at Mitchell now that he is unable to deliver physical ones. Billy merely grins and again tries to fight from the clutches of security.

Jon Rich: Gentlemen, gentlemen….far be it from me to interrupt this little quarrel but I have an announcement to make.

The Tag Champions don’t even take their eyes off of one another when Rich and Katelyn Buehler swagger to the stage. In spite of his best attempts to get their attention Billy and Fox remain entirely focused on one another.

Mayne: Announcement? What’s this about now?

Rich: Ahem, excuse me, yoohoo!

They finally give Jon the time of day.

Jon: Do I have your undivided attention? Good. Because your gonna wanna here what we have to say.

Rich forks the microphone over to Katelyn who picks up where he left off.

Katelyn: My stud is right. Now that we’ve dealt with those annoyances known as Pat Evans and Axl Evermore we’ve got nothing, NOBODY standing in the way of our next conquest. So, as of this moment, as of right now, Jon Rich is cashing in his Tag Team Title number one contendership at Paranoia VII. Meaning that he and I are challenging the two of you to a match at the grand spectacle for your tag titles.

The crowd erupts at this announcement but Fox nor Mitchell look all too excited by the prospect.

Mayne: Buehler and Rich picking a very opportune time to challenge for the titles. If Mitchell and Arcane continue this squabble they’re going to be ripe for the pickings at Paranoia VII.

Katie: Well, brains are required to be a member of the Five Star Society, and Rich and Buehler just showed that they’ve got some.

The crowd is still reeling from this challenge and have a louder reception the second that Arcane bursts through security and dives on top of Mitchell. Many of the guards collapse to the canvas around Billy as he and Arcane roll around trading punches. As this continues Rich and Katelyn back through the curtains laughing to themselves, realizing that the Tag Team Titles will soon be in their possession.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

World’s Greatest Product Placement

“BAD” BILLY MITCHELL VS. SHAUN CRUZE

The show returns from commercial break to find a surly Billy Mitchell pacing back and forth in anticipation of some physicality. His adrenaline is still surging after that intense encounter with Fox Arcane just moments earlier.

Mayne: We’re back and if you missed what happened before the commercial break please by all means feel free to ram a drill-bit into your temple.

Katie: Maybe you should demonstrate how to do it properly.

Mayne: Ummm, I’ll think about it. Anyway, this is what you missed assuming you were foolish enough to change the channel.

The image of a pacing Mitchell dissolves into violent imagery of Billy delivering the stunner on both Remix and Serenity.

Mayne: During the Tag Title Coronation, Billy Mitchell was giving out some Silver Bullets, and then challenged his partner, Fox Arcane, to come to the ring and take one of the belts away from him.

Katie: And of course Fox was stupid enough to accept.

Billy: Leading to an all out brawl.

The clips cut to Billy offering the belt to Arcane before Fox lunges at his partner. The two exchange rights hands back and forth before a swarm of security separates them.

Mayne: And that was followed by Jon Rich and Katelyn Buehler challenging Mitchell and Arcane to a Tag Team Title match at Paranoia VII. Which in retrospect was probably the only redeemable quality of the whole overblown coronation.

Steward: Agreed.

Billy: Anyway, during the break Fox was led from the ring and Billy was informed that his match against Shaun Cruze is slated to start, now…

YOU KNOW MY NAME

The building rumbles with applause at the sound of the all too familiar entrance lyrics. It doesn’t take long before Shaun Cruze graces the masses with his presence. He steps to the stage still wearing the striped referee shirt bestowed upon him earlier and gyrating to the crowd’s delight. He eventually throws a fist above his head to a riotous reception then bolts towards the ring.

Mayne: This is Shaun Cruze’s first singles match…..

Katie: And I’m sure it will be the first of many that he’ll loose.

Mayne: This bout being made as a result of Mitchell eliminating Cruze from the battle royal last week, as if Shaun had any chance of winning then, or tonight.

Shaun slides into the ring and continues to celebrate as Mitchell gives him a cold steely glare. The bell chimes to officially start the bout and neither Mitchell nor Cruze wait to lock up. Mitchell steam rolls across the ring and locks up with the new Icon, the two embracing in a collar elbow tie.

Mayne: And we’re underway. Billy is now just one Silver Bullet away from pinning this “new” Icon. Of course, I fail to see the difference between the “new” and “old” Icons.

Katie: This one has hair.

Mayne: Oh.

It doesn’t take long for Mitchell’s aggressiveness to shine through. He shoves Shaun backwards across the ring and drives him spine first into the turnbuckle, holding him there until the official is forced to separate them. When he steps back he shoves Shaun in the sternum, resulting in a mixed reaction from the crowd. This prompts Shaun to step out of the corner and drill Billy to the jaw with a European Uppercut, followed by another.

Mayne: Meh’, I guess Shaun trying to show that he can bring it straight to Mitchell, that he can give just as good as he can take.

Billy is knocked back by both Euro Uppercuts but quickly responds with a straight kick to Shaun’s gut, taking the fight out of him. Mitchell then catches him with a right hand to the temple, followed by another, backing Cruze into the ropes. He rams a knee into Shaun’s ribs, doubling him over where he’s nailed to the temple with a running boot. The strike knocks Cruze into a spiral that takes him through the ropes, crashing to the outside mats.

Katie: Looks like Orlando should have spent a little more time preparing his simpleton sibling to wrestle. Me, on the other hand, I spend no time training. Don’t have to, I’m just naturally gifted at whatever I do. Granted I am a Goddess. Which is a fact I feel must be reinforced every few seconds.

Shaun struggles to his feet on the outside, employing the apron to stand just as Mitchell reaches through the cables. He grabs hold of the Icon’s hair only to have Shaun deliver a quick, sudden, devastating Euro Uppercut on the jaw. The uppercut lands with such force that it snaps Mitchell’s head back and sends him staggering towards the center of the ring.

Cruze jumps to the apron to finish the job when Mitchell suddenly barrels forward and nails a knee through the ropes into the side of Shaun’s skull. The collision knocks Shaun off the apron and sends him flying sternum first into the barrier.

The crowd collectively grimaces as Shaun tumbles to the mats and clutches at his possibly bruised and fractured sternum. Mitchell rolls out of the ring and is right on top of him, delivering stomps to the banged up chest. He now drags Shaun up to his feet, props him against the barrier and unloads with an absolutely vicious knife edge chop across the sternum.

Mayne: Mitchell showing Shaun what he lacks, “psychology.”

Katie: As if you know anything about psychology.

Mayne: Hey. I have you know I’ve listened to plenty of Dr. Ruth tapes.

Shaun is grabbed by the back of the head, charged across the mats and driven face first off of the apron. He almost looses his footing but is picked right back up and deposited into the ring. Mitchell follows him in and delivers a prompt leaping knee drop right on the heart of the Icon.

Billy doesn’t stop there. He gets to his feet, ricochets from the cables and leaps into a second knee drop planted right across Shaun’s face. The collision sends Cruze into convulsions, writhing around on the ring putting his palms over his forehead.

Mitchell swats the hands aside so that he can drop a straight fist into the exposed face. Shaun sits up clutching desperately at his skull while Mitchell gets a running start and delivers a kick to the back of his targeted cranium.

Mayne: Heh, looks like Shaun’s career isn’t going to have nearly the longevity that Orlando’s did.

Katie: Which is a small, but welcomed mercy.

The pain inflicted on Shaun’s head is near impossible for him to deal with. Nevertheless he turns to his elbows and knees and TRIES to get up. Mitchell isn’t about to let that happen. He takes his stance and stalks his prey before finally taking his shot. Shaun is grabbed by the jaw, his head pulled back and now subjected to a series of sickening right hands to the forehead.

He retracts his arm in order to deliver a clubbing blow to the still tender sternum as well. Shaun falls to all fours, desperately trying to push past the trauma, to elevate his threshold for pain, but nothing is working. The rough and gruff Mitchell seems to have Shaun’s number.

Billy ensnares Shaun’s skull in his clutches, dragging him up to his feet just so he can deliver a swift boot to the gut, doubling him right back over. He then wedges his hands to Shaun’s shoulders and shoves him back. Cruze ends up ricocheting from the cables and stumbling right into a lariat across the throat, knocking him to the canvas.

Mitchell stumbles into the ropes after delivering the blow, rubbing his bicep in the process.

Mayne: Shaun just looks completely unprepared for this brawler mentality from Mitchell.

Katie: How could you be unprepared for a brawl? That’s the most simplistic form of wrestling there is.

Mitchell’s confidence begins to grow as he takes Shaun around the jaw, leads him to his feet and then plants his palms to the Icon’s shoulders. He shoves him back into the ropes, Cruze bouncing off and stumbling into yet another lariat. This time Cruze ducks the inbound arm before it could crush his esophagus. He dives forward, over and around Shaun’s hip, catches him around the thigh and pulls him down into the school boy pin.

Instead of going for the cover Shaun attempts to prove a point, reaching his feet and attempting to step through the legs in order to apply a sharpshooter.

Mayne: Ohhhh not this again.

Billy is squirming too much for Shaun to get a proper grasp on him. Therefore he opts for a change in strategy. He hooks the creases of Mitchell’s knees and drops back, catapulting him not only into the ropes but over them. Billy flips through the air and crashes to the outside mats with bone breaking force.

Billy: Ouch. I hope Mitchell has frequent flyer miles.

Steward: Good Goddess, the eighties called, they want that joke back.

Billy: Just because I wear a white sports jacket with rolled up sleeves does not mean I’m trapped in the eighties.

Mitchell clutches at his kidneys, grimacing as he ascends to his feet. Upon reaching an upright base Billy overcomes his next obstacle, scaling the apron. He stands just as Shaun steps in, reaches over the ropes and traps his skull, applying a front chancery. It takes all of Shaun’s strength but he heaves Mitchell into the air, intent on suplexing him back into the ring.

Unfortunately for Shaun, in spite of his countless hours of training, he finds himself unprepared for the counter. Mitchell floats over, landing behind Cruze and staggering back to the center of the ring. He builds momentum by getting a running start only for Shaun to turn around, bend forward, catch Billy’s knees and back drop him over the ropes to the outside of the ring where he splats across the mats.

Mayne: And Mitchell crashes to the outside AGAIN! He’s eaten more carpet than Ellen Degeneres.

Katie: That would make more sense if the mats were made of carpet. But hey, at least your trying, which is more effort than I’m willing to put in.

The aggravated Mitchell rises to his feet, back propped against the apron just as Shaun comes charging in. The new Icon drops into a baseball slide but Mitchell moves out of the way at the last second, side stepping him. Cruze lands on his feet across the mats with nothing to show for his trouble and forced to react quickly. Billy charges in with a double axehandle when Shaun side steps him, grabs the back of his head and throws him along face first into the exposed turnbuckle post.

His skull thuds against the steel and his body goes twisting into the barrier, falling against it for support.

Mayne: Ah dammit. Looks like Shaun is gonna make this competitive after all.

Steward: We truly are cursed.

A European Uppercut has Billy reeling across the mats, stumbling around clutching at his near fractured jaw. Cruze spins him around and hits another Euro Uppercut that knocks Billy back into the apron. He rolls under the ropes, trying to create some space between himself and the Cruze family representative.

Shaun begins to slide in after him when Billy stands up and stomps down at his skull. Cruze steps back, avoiding the boot then reaches under the ring, grabs Mitchell’s ankle and tears it out from under him. Billy collapses to his back with Shaun climbing to the apron across his knees, reaching through the ropes and trying to grab hold of the legs of his opponent.

Mitchell wedges his feet to Shaun’s chest and kicks him off the apron. Cruze lands on his feet though, doubling over clutching at his chest, which is still soar from its earlier impact with the barrier. Now he’s the one being spun around and nailed with a right hand between the eyes. Mitchell gets hold of before Shaun has time to react. He then pulls his fist back for another right only to have it blocked and countered with the European Uppercut.

Billy almost looses his footing but is ultimately taken by the wrist, turned back towards the ring and rolled inside. Shaun climbs up to the apron and across the ring, reaching the nearby turnbuckle. He leaps over the top rope, twists in mid-air, lands on the middle cables and springs off. In mid-flight he spins around and catches a now upright Mitchell across the throat with a twisting European Uppercut.

Mayne: Shaun showing that he’s a little more flexible and acrobatic than his bigger brother. Actually, I think a stone is more flexible than Orlando Cruze.

Steward: And has twice the personality.

Billy grasps at his throat and stomps his heels against the canvas. All the while Cruze is setting into action his next strategy, which employs the use of the ropes. He ricochets from the cables just as Mitchell reaches his feet and now delivers a devastating running European Uppercut. The force of the blow knocks Billy from his feet and sends him flying across the ring.

Mayne: How dare Shaun Cruze steal the European Uppercuts from Kitty Buehler.

Billy collapses across the canvas again clutching at his neck and his jaw. Shaun quickly takes advantage, stepping in and through the legs, locking them around his own and calling for the sharpshooter to a loud reception from the crowd.

Mitchell suddenly sits up though and delivers an open hand palm strike across Shaun’s chest. Cruze winces in pain, clutching at his sternum as Billy fights his way upward. He just reaches his knees when Shaun grabs him around the back of the head and falls to his spine, trying to apply the triangle choke.

Mayne: Shaun stealing from someone else now, his brother, with this patented triangle choke.

Somehow Mitchell is blocking it, fighting for all he’s worth to escape being trapped in the hold. He eventually pulls back away from the shin and breaks the grasp on his head, avoiding the submission before it can be applied. He stumbles back and falls against one of the turnbuckles, now employing it. He pulls himself up to the second rope just as Shaun is reaching his feet beneath him. Billy now takes flight, soaring through the air right towards Shaun who leaps into the air with another European Uppercut.

Mitchell twists in mid-flight though, landing with his back pressed to Shaun’s and hooking both arms, bringing Cruze down into the backslide.

1

2

Mayne: He’s got ‘em!

NYOOOO! Shaun kicks out, rolling over backwards to his feet where he’s met with a boot to the ribs. Mitchell turns, taking Shaun around the neck and setting up for the Silver Bullet. Just before a third stunner could be delivered tonight, Shaun avails himself of calamity. He catches Shaun around the waist and drops back, rolling him up. He sits on the back of Shaun’s thighs now, compressing his whole body onto his shoulders.

1

2

Now it’s Mitchell who kicks out with just seconds to spare.

Billy: Mitchell refusing to let this “rookie” end his undefeated streak.

Katie: Plus it would make it so much worse to lose to a Cruze. I don’t even think forty showers would be enough to remove the filth of such a loss.

Shaun staggers forward after the kick out but turns and gets right back on his opponent. Billy reaches his feet just in time to catch Cruze, scooping him up to his shoulder then charging him across the ring. He drives him spine first into the top turnbuckle, spins around and gets another running start before delivering a violent back breaker. The crowd winces at the sight of Billy’s “Rough Ride.” Mitchell follows it up with an immediate hook of the leg.

1

2

Shaun kicks out to a piercing roar of approval. Billy gives the referee an intimidating stare and then labors to an upright base. He grabs hold of Shaun’s head and begins forcing him up to his feet when Cruze suddenly drops back, grabbing hold of Billy’s wrist and using it to pull him down into the triangle choke.

Mayne: The choke is applied, applied out of nowhere!

Mitchell trashes around, trying desperately to free himself from this hold yet again but just can’t get lose. Shaun applies even more pressure until all air circulation has been deprived to Billy’s skull. The fans watch closely as Mitchell begins to slip into unconsciousness, refusing to tap out so instead he’s on the verge of passing out.

Mayne: Dammit, dammit, dammit. The last thing Shaun needs is a confidence boost. Get out of this hold Mitchell, get out of it or I’ll be angry, and you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.

Katie: Oh stuff some tampons in your vagina and shush.

Mitchell is still fading but that doesn’t mean he isn’t fighting. He reaches for the ropes and tries to stand up to once again break the clasped hands interlocked behind his head. Mitchell doesn’t get very far, he falls back to his knees and continues to loose consciousness. His whole body finally goes limp and his eyes roll to the back of his head prompting the referee to call for the bell.

Katie: Ahhh GREAT! Shaun Cruze wins….the world officially sucks.

Mayne: I’m equally as bitter. Shaun Cruze wins his first singles match by forcing Billy Mitchell to pass out. This couldn’t possibly get any worse…..woops, spoke too soon.

The masses celebrate but Shaun literally has no time in which to embrace his victory. The moment he breaks his hold he’s flanked by Max Craven.

The discreet Gen Now representative slips into the ring and immediately puts the boots to an exhausted Cruze. He stomps away, at the chest specifically.

Mayne: Craven is jumping Cruze. He’s trying to take him out before he can officiate the main event.

Although winded Shaun is not without spunk. He swats one of the boots away before it could connect with his chest and then delivers a straight punch to Max’s mid-section, doubling him over. He grabs hold of Craven’s wrist and tries to pull him down into the very same triangle choke that caused Mitchell to pass out.

Mayne: Not again.

Steward: Once was traumatizing enough.

The crowd’s reaction builds to an epic crescendo as Cruze prepares to shut Craven up permanently by doing irreparable damage to his throat. Max avoids such treatment, worming his way out of Shaun’s clutches at the last second then scampering from the ring.

Billy: Max got out of Shaun’s hold, and all he’s done is make the Special Referee for Hell in a Cell that much angrier.

Katie: If you were related to Orlando Cruze you’d be enraged too.

Max backs up the ramp rubbing at his throat, realizing that he was within seconds of being trapped in that excruciating triangle choke. Shaun isn’t about to let this catch off the hook. In a fit he rolls under the ropes and goes straight after Craven. All Max can do is back up the ramp now begging off, insisting that Shaun get himself under control. Cruze clearly isn’t listening, he keeps moving straight towards Max, who eventually disappears through the curtains. Shaun is right behind him, nipping at his heels.

Mayne: Cruze chasing Max to the backstage area. At the very least Craven saved us the indignity of some over the top Shaun Cruze celebration.

Katie: Thank Goddess for small miracles.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Erm……yeah.

TARNISHED ICON

Stagehand: Where’s the EMTs!?!

Trainer: They were with Evermore.

Stagehand: Well somebody get them over here now!

All of this commotion swirls around the blood soaked body of Shaun Cruze. The new Icon lies physically traumatized and unconscious across the floor backstage. His face is obscured beneath a puddle of blood and his striped referee shirt is torn away, leaving his flesh to soak up the pouring crimson. Several stagehands crouch around him, trying to stabilize Shaun’s head as best they can.

Orlando: What is this!?!

The image of a bloodied Shaun is almost too much for Orlando to handle. His jaw hangs agape and the color fades from his face as he steps into the scene and gets an eyeful of his mutilated sibling.

Cruze: Wha….wha….wwwwwhat happened!?!

Shoulders are shrugged and heads are shaken.

Orlando: Don’t give me that. Somebody had to have seen what happened. I want answers dammit.

Trainer: We found him like this Mr. Cruze….

Orlando: Who’s responsible.

Trainer: Well…we…we just don’t know sir.

Cruze is too furious to speak as he crouches over his brother, hands wrapped around his skull.

Orlando: DAMMIT!

He punches the floor.

Orlando: Their not gonna get away with this. You hear me, Shaun? You hear me!?!

Rage swells all throughout Orlando’s trembling body.

HELL IN A CELL

The show returns to the interior of the building with Katie Steward and Billy Mayne being the focal point.

Mayne: I guess Generation Now lured Shaun into a trap backstage.

Katie: Obviously. If it were the Five Star Society who attacked him he’d look a hundred times worse.

Billy: Indeed, but that begs a question. With Hell in a Cell next, who is the referee gonna be?

Katie: I guess we won’t have a special referee, which suits me just fine.

All attention now deviates towards the cell which is slowly lowering towards the ring.

Mayne: All questions aside, here’s a fact, the cell is coming down and we’re about to see the stable war come to a bloody climax.

The fans have a very volatile reaction when the words “Generation Now” appear on the titantron. They flash periodically across the screen in between images of the various members displaying their dominance. It doesn’t take long for the crowd to get an up close and personal view of the three Gen Now members participating in this match. Max Craven is the first to storm to the stage and doesn’t wait to posture with his partners. He stomps down the steps straight towards the cell, not even stopping to examine the imposing structure. He swings the door open and just rolls inside while Adams and Riggs trail behind, taking their sweet time. The Champions pause to discuss strategy before finally entering the cell where Craven is pacing.

Billy: Generation Now looking a little confident….too confident stepping into that cell actually. I wonder if a load has been lifted from their shoulders now that Shaun Cruze is incapable of officiating this match.

Katie: Oh just point your blasted finger already. Everyone knows they beat Shaun up backstage. Jeez, quit being so subtle about it.

Mayne: Alright fine, Generation Now beat down Cruze. Happy.

Steward: When sitting next to you, I never am.

A grin resides on Jackson’s face, the Submission Champion looking quite amused as he slips through the ropes into the ring. It takes five pulsating stars stretched across the screen to make him loose his smile. Adams whips around and glares furiously at the trio now making their way to the stage. Jon Rich is still decked out in a long sparkling robe, looking oblivious to the tension between his partners. Porno Lad and Christian Savior pause to exchange a glare, both men looking rather suspicious of the other. In spite of the pep talk from Douglas earlier in the night, they remain unsure of the other’s motives. Nevertheless they follow Rich towards the cell where Riggs has the ropes parted so that they can enter the ring. Instead of taking him on his invitation the trio pauses just beyond the mesh walls.

Mayne: The Five Star Society doing the wise thing, staying outside of the Hell in a Cell, refusing to get in there with Generation Now. No need to risk injury before the bell even has a chance to ring.

Steward: Porno Lad put it best, there’s no reason to chance injury, period. I think he, Savior and Rich are going to abstain from entering the cell. I mean, why hurt themselves mere weeks removed from Paranoia?

Billy: Indeed. They’ve already proven that they are THE dominant stable in the IWC, what more do they have to do?

As Craven baits them to enter the cell, shouting from within the ring to the outside of the cell, Savior and Porno Lad exchange a tense glare. Rich looks uneasy as he gauges both of their expressions.

Mayne: If they did decide to get in the cell we all know what would happen anyway. They’d absolutely annihilate….

YOU KNOW MY NAME

An explosion the magnitude of a volcanic eruption emits from the Canadian crowd. Every seat is emptied, the fans bursting to their feet. Jackson’s face whips around and glares at the entry way as if he’s seen a ghost. Max steps back from the ropes, mouth shutting, eyes bulging.

Billy: What is this? I thought we didn’t have to worry about that rookie do gooder Shaun Cruze refing this match. Generation Now beat the stuffin’ outta him mere minutes ago. He couldn’t recover that quick could he?

Katie: There’s the distinct possibility that he’s so stupid he doesn’t know that he’s crippled.

Mayne: That seems likely.

Riggs asks his cohorts what’s going on but before they can supply an answer their breath is stolen from their lips by the sight of Orlando Cruze. The Icon receives a bone chilling reaction from the crowd, who are not just amazed by his presence but by the striped shirt adorning his frame. There is no second guessing, no hesitation, head injury and all Orlando marches towards the ring looking to officiate this match on his brother’s behalf.

Billy: Orlando Cruze is gonna referee Hell in a Cell? Is he really, reeeeaaally THIS stupid?

Steward: I guess mental retardation is a genetic trait in the Cruze family genealogy.

Mayne: The guy has got a brain tumor and could die with one blow to the head yet he’s stepping into the Hell in a Cell, the most dangerous environment imaginable. Why? Because of pride?

Orlando pauses briefly to glare menacingly at the two men who ended his wrestling career. Christian cannot help but to grin as he sees Orlando step through the door to the cell, almost tempting him to enter. The desire to throw Orlando into the mesh is almost too much for Christian to pass up.

As the Icon makes his way to the apron he’s cut off by Craven, who DEMANDS to know his purpose. Orlando points to the shirt and mouths the word “duh.” Jackson pulls Max back and takes a stand before the Icon, getting nose to nose with the retired legend.

Jackson: You don’t want to do this Orlando, you best believe you don’t want to be locked in this cell with me.

Orlando: These fans were promised that a Cruze would referee this match and I’m gonna deliver. You can either accept it or you can forfeit.

Adams glances back and forth at the screaming fans, realizing that the Icon has painted him into a corner. That’s when the MOUSA theme hits the PA system.

The building is almost reduced to rubble by the reception for the MOUSA. Before they can even prepare for the long winded introduction the fans are immediately gratified at the sight of Too Magnificent and Simon Cagero storming through the curtains. The two waste absolutely no time, bolting down the ramp.

Billy: And it’s the MOUSA, down one member in this ma….what are they doing? STOP THAT! BREAK IT UP! Get the hose Katie.

Before the Five Star Society can even react to a glimpse of their long time rivals they are being swung upon. Cagero nails a right hand to Christian’s temple, sending him spiraling into the wall of the cell. Too Magnificent, with trashcan in hand, swings the steel directly over Porno Lad’s skull. The sickening collision knocks PL back and causes him to tumble over the barrier into the crowd.

Katie: They’re STILL trying to get the unfair advantage. They did this earlier tonight too. A Goddess would never stoop to this level to get a win.

Too Magnificent lifts the trashcan only for Rich to plow shoulder first into his ribs. TM turns and is driven spine first into the barrier, grimacing from the pain of the collision. Jon backs away and then gets a running start, intent on delivering a lariat that would send him sailing into the sea of humanity. However, it’s Rich who takes the plunge. Too Mag bends forward, catches the knees of Rich and back drops him over the barrier.

Porno Lad just so happened to be reaching his feet only to be knocked back down as his own partner crashes into him. Both men plummet into the empty front row chairs that crack and crunch beneath them.

Mayne: What a shock, Orlando NOT doing his job. He couldn’t handle the pressure of competing, the pressure of being the boss, and now he can’t handle the pressure of even officiating a damn match. What good is he?

Katie: Simple answer, he isn’t, he isn’t good for ANYTHING. Unless of course you don’t have a mirror, then he’s good to have around so you can see your reflection in the top of his head.

Simon and Too Magnificent can feel the urgency, knowing fully well that they have to incapacitate as many of their enemies as possible as quickly as they can, before they can be overcome by the numbers game. This knowledge is what drives Simon to deliver forearm shots to Christian’s back, knocking him towards the door of the cell.

Savior falls into it and the door swings shut.

Mayne: It might actually be safer for Christian to get inside of the cell at this rate.

The door serves a crutch for Christian, keeping him upright just long enough to be spun around and propped spine first against it. Cagero delivers a chop across the sternum, followed by a second searing blow. Simon then delivers a straight shoulder block to the ribs, followed by a second. He performs a standing back flip and then comes charging at Christian again.

This time Savior is waiting, he slips around the side of the door and then flings it open, the mesh traveling straight towards Cagero’s face. At the last second Simon leaps into the air and voids a head on collision with steel. To the amazement of the audience he lands on the door and holds on with both hands and feet. Like an arachnid he sticks to the door and does not incur it’s wrath.

A flabbergasted Christian grabs the mesh and shoves it all the way open, causing Cagero to slam back first into the mesh wall of the cell.

Mayne: Hahahaha, nice improvisation from our illustrious Cartel Champion.

Steward: Wonder if what Porno Lad said to him got the fire lit under his ass or not. I hope something shakes him out of his rut.

Mayne: Sex helps, and I’m sure Christian gets plenty of it.

Steward: Sex is not the solution for everything. Sometimes it only leads to more problems. Haven’t you been watching the whole Robin Brooks, Hurse soap opera?

Mayne: I never miss an episode.

At the sight of Cagero’s body being crushed between door and wall Too Magnificent springs to his partner’s aid. The trashcan rises above his skull, the big man on the verge of delivering a fatal blow. Christian turns at the last second though, reaches out, grabs the creases of his knees and rips the barbarian’s legs from beneath his body. Too Magnificent collapses to his back with both legs pinned under his rival’s pits.

Christian now drops back and catapults Too Magnificent into the other side of the door. On the side opposite Cagero is crushed against the wall once again.

Mayne: Christian taking care of two members of the Motherfuckin Empire with that move. This is better than having a fist up your ass.

Katie: Wha?

Billy: Ummm, I mean, a penis in your vagina.

Steward: How would you know how that felt?

Billy: Um, I mean uh….stop giving me that look.

The crowd grimaces, their groans tearing through the building as Cagero is once again sandwiched between the steel door and wall. He finally collapses to his side, falling away from the mesh while Too Magnificent, incoherent and all, stumbles back into the waiting arms of Savior.

Christian spins him around and bends him forward, placing him in a front chancery. He prepares to deliver the inverted DDT right on the steel ramp. Orlando is shouting at him from the ring, demanding he stop and bring the action INSIDE of the cell. Behind his back Generation Now are discussing strategy, periodically glancing towards the action beyond the walls of the steel structure.

Savior grabs hold of the trunks and prepares to heave his victim into the air only to have Too Magnificent burst free. He not only escapes but grabs Christian by the throat and the pants, hoisting the Cartel Champion high above his head. Savior’s face goes pale white, all color escaping his body as he’s thrown from a gorilla press position over the barricade right on top of a recovered Jon Rich and Porno Lad. His partners collapse under the weight of his body and all three members of the FSS hit the concrete with force.

Mayne: Stop throwing people at Porno Lad already!

There are no more groans from the crowd, their dreadful reaction replaced by sounds of delight. They are back into the action after seeing the FSS suffer once again for their many transgressions. Such suffrage is only the beginning however, evident as the lethal MOUSA sets their next plan into action.

Too Magnificent turns, back facing the cell and bending forward with hands interlocked in a cupping position. The aching Cagero puts his pain aside, charging at his partner, stepping into his interlocked palms and then being launched over head straight into the cell wall. Much like earlier when he clamped onto the door, Cagero grabs hold of the wall and sticks like his hands were smeared in superglue. He plants his feet and scales a the wall a little further before back flipping into a moonsault that sends him crashing into the crowd right on top of the Five Star Society.

For the third straight time all three men were just reaching their feet before being struck with this suicidal blow from a disturbed Cagero.

Fans: HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT!

Mayne: What in the blue yonder!?! Moonsault off the wall of the cell. Cagero is far stupider than he looks.

Katie: If I were him I’d be suicidal too.

The crowd takes tremendous pleasure in what they just witnessed, Cagero throwing his well being aside for the satisfaction and bringing down his opponents. Too Magnificent stands behind the barricade rooting for his partner in spite of the fact that he lies motionless amongst a pile of victims. TM’s celebration is short lived when he’s spun by the back of the head and rammed face first into the wall of the cell. He turns in a daze away from the wall and finds himself punched right in the jaw by the N.H.B Champion.

Mayne: And only naturally Riggs goes right after Too Magnificent, the man he’ll defend his title against at Paranoia VII.

Too Magnificent is dragged by the back of the head into the cell where Riggs tries to insert him into the squared circle. Too Mag realizes the desperate situation he’s in, on the verge of being caught in a three on one scenario. To spare himself from a gang mugging he plants his palms to the apron and blocks being rolled into the ring. He then delivers a back elbow to Riggs’ gut that catches him off guard.

The N.H.B Champion bends forward to clutch his ribs but exposes his skull to a headbunt from the Golden Goliath. The mighty blow takes Riggs off of his feet and disorientates Too Magnificent just long enough to fall victim to the number’s game. Craven and Adams simultaneously charge across the ring and drop into stereo baseball slide dropkicks. Their boots meet Too Mag’s sternum and propel him with great force spine first into the mesh wall.

Billy: And now it’s time for Generation Now to dominate, just like they did in the battle royal last week.

Katie: Normally I’d be disgusted that your endorsing the likes of Riggs, but they are the lesser of two evils presently. By a very, VERY slim margin mind you.

Somehow Too Magnificent remains upright in spite of his spine compressing against the steel mesh. He stumbles forward as Adams stands up, takes the top rope and launches himself over into a crossbody. His confidence is shattered the moment that Too Magnificent reaches out and catches him across his chest. Jackson’s face goes pale, realizing that he’s on the verge of being tossed like a rag doll, possibly into the dangerous mesh walls.

Too Magnificent employs him for different means however, swinging him around so that his ankles drill an upright Riggs in the face. The N.H.B Champion is toppled and the Submission Title holder still finds himself stretched across his rival’s sternum in a very precarious position.

Although Too Mag has two of his opponent’s precisely where he wants them he fails to keep track of the third, a move he’ll soon regret. Scaling the turnbuckle behind his back is where Too Mag will find Max Craven, but find him too late. He turns around, still holding Jackson across his chest when Craven leaps from the top rope and crashes into both his partner and his rival with a big flying splash. All three men hit the mats with Jackson coming down across Too Magnificent’s sternum.

Mayne: This match just continues to give a whole new meaning to the word “idiocy.”

With his opponent down Riggs has more than enough time to slide a table out from under the ring.

Billy: And tables already getting involved.

The wood is slid in under the ring and Riggs follows suit. All Orlando can do is stand back and watch, realizing that everything is legal and he can’t do a thing to stop Generation Now from employing such barbaric tactics. Riggs grabs hold of the table, sliding it across the ring and then propping it up against one of the turnbuckles. Once he’s got it stabilized diagonally he screams for his partners to bring Too Magnificent into the ring.

Jackson and Craven grab hold of the Golden Goliath’s wrists, using them to drag his battered body to his feet then roll him under the ropes. Now TM finds himself faced with the unenviable task of fighting off three opponents at once. Two members of Generation Now have him by the wrists, leading him up to his feet while the other searches for something beneath the squared circle.

Mayne: Generation Now about to put Too Magnificent through the table. Although I think it would make his trashcan jealous.

Moore: Too Mundane and that inanimate, cold, garbage container are made for one another.

Craven and Riggs nod before launching Too Magnificent towards the perfectly aimed table. Just before he’s forced to pick splinters out of his body Too Mag twists around to face his opponents and then utilizes his barbaric strength to yank them forward into a stereo lariat. Riggs and Craven hit the canvas simultaneously while Too Magnificent slaps his sternum with both hands and roars.

The crowd is swept up by the intensity in his eyes and his guttural growl. His gesturing is ended the moment a Singapore cane slaps into his spine. The stiff blow echoes throughout the arena and doubles Too Magnificent over, putting his hands on his knees.

Billy: If there’s one thing I’ve learned from Jackson Adams it’s that you never, EVER turn your back on him.

Katie: In the ring or in the shower? Don’t bother, we all already know the answer.

Too Magnificent continues to crouch after taking the skin splitting strike. Jackson delivers another blow with the cane that rips more flesh and brings his monstrous prey to a knee.

The fans begin to hassle Adams as he shows off, stepping back and swinging the cane around in his hand, showing off. He then gets a slight running start before going for the knock out strike. In mid-swing he finds his arms going limp, reacting with paralysis to the fright of being caught by the throat.

The mood in the building drastically changes as Too Magnificent stands up, on the verge of delivering a chokeslam on the Submission Champion.

Mayne: Chokeslam coming. I’m not sure whether I should be happy about this, sad about this, conflicted about this, or just not give a shit at all.

Katie: You know which route I’m taking.

Too Magnificent grabs the belt and heaves Adams up into the air for the chokeslam, on the verge of putting him through the ring. Unfortunately before he can take Jackson out completely Too Magnificent finds himself blinded by a red mist produced from Riggs’ mouth.

Billy: The crimson mist!

Now Too Magnificent roars not in celebration but in pain. Jackson slides out of his palm, falls to his feet before him and delivers a swift kick to the gut. The blinded Too Mag doubles over as Riggs takes him under both arms and snaps back into a thunderous, skull splitting double arm DDT.

Mayne: And he hits the move that has finished off a plethora of opponents. Go ahead now Riggs, go for the obligatory pin thinking you’ll have some momentum against Too Magnificent headed into Paranoia. We’re all expecting it.

Katie: Apparently you can never get enough predictability here in the IWC.

Instead of doing as speculated Riggs rises to his feet and motions once again towards the table. He seems intent on putting the wounded Too Magnificent through it and sending a message to the MOUSA. Jackson begins to drag the still blinded TM from the canvas, before being alerted to the arrival of Cagero.

Simon leaps to the apron and takes the top rope, waiting for the perfect opportunity to pounce on his unsuspecting prey. Adams spins around just as Cagero comes off the top rope, giving Jackson no time to prepare. He’s caught around the neck and swung around for the tornado DDT. Instead of slamming his rival’s skull against the canvas Simon is shoved off in mid-air, landing on his feet in the center of the ring.

His long time nemesis Riggs steps up behind him, trapping both arms and pinning them behind his back. The former World Champion is caught in a very bad situation, prone for the assault by an inbound Adams. Jackson swings his arm into the lariat only for his bicep to collide with Riggs’ throat. Simon ducks out of the way in the nick of time, forcing Adams to take out his own partner.

He looks speechless upon the unconscious body of his partner, unaware that Simon is rushing into the ropes behind him. He finally snaps out of it and spins around but it’s too late, Cagero twists in mid-air, catches him around the neck and delivers a tornado DDT.

Mayne: And now it’s Cagero putting Generation Now through hell, pun intended.

Katie: Yeah, no need to specify. You really need to work on your subtlety.

Adams’ veteran instincts kick in, even while disorientated he tries to roll away from Cagero so that he can’t be pinned. Simon doesn’t let him get very far, he drags him back to the center of the ring then falls into the lateral press. The fans get excited as Orlando’s hand hits the canvas.

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Before he can slap it for a third time Max grabs Orlando by the wrist, refusing to let it hit the canvas.

Mayne: Oh-ho-ho, look at this now.

In anger Orlando rips his wrist out of Max’s hand and then gets to his feet, going eye to eye with the Generation Now member. Max wedges a finger to Cruze’s striped shirt and demands that he doesn’t go all Earl Hebner on his group.

Cruze swats the hand away and prompts Max to ball up his fist. He pulls back his five knuckles on the verge of swinging them into Orlando’s injured head before he’s rolled up from behind by Cagero. Simon wraps his arms around the waist and drags Craven over backwards, ending up seated on the back of his thighs. Craven is folded like a shirt in a briefcase while the ref makes the count.

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Craven kicks out and in the process launches Simon off, sending him into a forward tizzy that ends with his head being caught in an opponent’s clutches. Porno Lad has entered the ring just in time to take advantage. He catches Simon by the ears and forces his skull under his seat then lifts him into position, sticking an arm through the legs. The crowd squeals as Porno Lad delivers the cradle piledriver, Simon’s skull almost splitting in two as it hits the canvas.

Katie: Yaaaaahhh, give him with another piledriver Porno Lad. Give it to him on the basis that he’s Simon Cagero.

Mayne: That’s grounds for immediate punishment.

At the same time as Simon’s head is crashing into the canvas Craven is being tortured in similar fashion. The moment he rolled to his feet was the moment Christian decided to enter the ring. He traps the skull in a front chancery, grabs Craven’s tights and elevates him into the implant DDT. Max’s head ricochets from the canvas and he bounces up to his knees, wavering from side to side.

His reaction to the DDT proves unfortunate as he’s lifted from his knees to his feet and then yanked down to the canvas with the diamond cutter from Savior.

Billy: Ohhhh hahaha, he strung those together perfectly and surely given the Five Star Society ANOTHER win.

Katie: As if there were doubt.

After taking out their enemies Porno Lad and Christian sit up simultaneously and glare at one another. As their eyes meet tensions rise between them, not at all thrilled to be overshadowed by the other’s offense. They reach their feet and instead of going at it their eyes twist and settle on the special referee for this match, Orlando Cruze. The Icon’s eyes twist from one man’s face to the other, examining the very pear that cut his career tragically short.

Mayne: What is it about Orlando that has everyone so distracted? Is the gleam from his head giving them migraines?

Porno Lad and Christian begin to approach Orlando, who doesn’t back down from the duo whatsoever. Instead of attacking Cruze they settle for intimidating him with their ominous glares. Finally they turn away from the Icon just in time to spot Riggs charging in and swinging the Singapore cane straight for their skulls. Before he can burst their heads like a piñata, Savior and Porno Lad duck down out of the way. As a result Riggs goes charging right into the ropes, ropes Jon Rich happens to be standing on the opposite side of.

He bends forward, tucking his head under Riggs’ seat and then stands up, back dropping him over the ropes and sending him crashing with a thud to the thin protective matting.

Christian turns around to survey the damage that his partner has done while behind his back Porno Lad is stooping down to pick up the Singapore Cane. The moment he takes it into his hands he becomes overwhelmed with the compulsion to swing it right into his partner’s spine. Just as he pulls the cane back Christian spins around, cutting his partner off with a soul wrenching stare.

On cue Porno Lad drops the cane and kicks it away, a smirk now residing on his face. No matter how wide Porno Lad grins it does nothing to placate Christian, both his fists still clinched tightly.

Mayne: Some more dissension in the ranks of the Five Star Society. I thought they fixed everything with that little peace powwow backstage.

Katie: This isn’t Sally Jessie, nope, not at all. This is wrestling and there’s only one obligatory way of solving anything in wrestling. You know what that is.

Billy: Low blows, chair shots and run ins?

Steward: That’s pretty accurate when talking about the IWC.

Porno Lad continues to back peddle before he ends up wondering right into the clutches of Adams. The Generation Now representative spends no time hesitating, he spins PL right around, boots him to the ribs and then sends him sailing through the ropes.

All the while Jon Rich has leaped into the ring over the ropes, and is now running across it. He ricochets from the far cables, building speed in order to launch himself into a suicide headbunt that connects against Riggs. The Painted Warrior flies spine first into the mesh wall, his body bouncing viciously from the steel.

Mayne: Into the steel they go! That wall has no give whatsoever.

Left inside of the ring is Jackson and the man sneaking in behind him. Adams turns just as Christian lunges into the air, catching him around the neck for the diamond cutter.

Adams suddenly yanks his head free, grabs Christian by the hair and charges him towards the table slanted against the turnbuckle. Before he can be sent crashing through the wood Christian puts on the breaks, reaches back, grabs Jackson around the neck and tries to flip him into a snapmare through the wood. Adams does flip, but he comes down right on his feet rather than through the table. He turns just as Christian lunges at him with the big boot. Adams ducks it, steps behind Savior and traps his arms, pulling him around before ultimately introducing his face to the canvas with the unprettier.

Billy: Rat bastard!

Adams rolls into the cover and hooks the leg. He anxiously waits for the count but there is none. Orlando refrains from doing his job. He watches the pin proceed with eyebrow twitching and Jackson’s face becoming blood red. Finally, after a moment’s delay he drops down to the canvas and slaps the ring.

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Jon Rich grabs Jackson’s ankle from the outside of the ring and drags him off of the cover. Jackson lands on the mats right beside Jon who takes his bangs, charges him at the mesh wall and drives his features directly into the steel. Jackson bounces back and falls against the apron before Rich hooks him under the armpit and hip tosses him spine first into the mesh wiring. He ricochets off and collapses to the mats, his body warped by the multiple impacts with the mesh.

The chaos ensues outside of the ring in much the same facet that it does within. Standing in the center of the ring presently is a recovered Too Magnificent, trying to clear the blinding mist out of his eyes. As he reaches his feet Craven comes charging in behind him, dropping shoulder first into the crease of the giant’s knee.

Mayne: A little psychology in the cell, I like it.

Katie: I don’t like anything that doesn’t involve the words “Katie Steward SCW World Champion.” Or “Katie Steward voted World’s Most Enchanting Female.” I know I already am both but it be nice to have OFFICIAL recognition.

The blow to the knee leaves Too Magnificent rolling across the canvas clutching desperately at his damaged leg. He eventually ends up in the ropes, grabbing hold of them and forcing his tired body to an upright base. He turns just as Craven steps in and pops him across the jaw, then does so again. The strikes result in Too Magnificent’s upper body falling through the ropes, the big man now seated across the middle cable.

He almost falls back and crashes to the thin protective matting behind his back as Craven blasts him to the jaw with a right hand, then does so again. He now takes off, barreling across the ring into the far ropes and ricocheting back towards his startled opposition. He builds some significant momentum as he rushes right into the waiting arms of his rival. Too Magnificent reaches over the ropes, catches Max and then drops back, belly to belly suplexing him to the outside of the ring where he crashes forcefully into the mesh wall of the cell.

Mayne: OHHHHH!

Max bounces from the steel and hits the mats with force as the crowd starts a rousing “holy shit” chant, their lungs almost exploding at this point. The maniacal madman turns around to survey the damage that he’s inflicted, Too Magnificent’s eyes gleaming at the sight of Craven’s crippled body strewn over the mats. He leans through the ropes a little further to continue chastising him, having no idea that Riggs has climbed to the turnbuckle right off to his side. He doesn’t realize this until it’s too late to prevent the double stomp that Riggs delivers through the ropes directly to Too Magnificent’s spine. The crowd squeals at the image of Riggs hitting the double stomp from this unique position.

Mayne: I think I may have just orgasmed.

Katie: Actually, from the smell of things, I think you soiled yourself.

Mayne: Either one works.

Too Magnificent lay nearly crippled thanks to the dreaded double stomp from his nemesis. The N.H.B Champion gloats above him, relishing in the pain he’s inflicted. The delight is short lived once his focus switches to the outside of the ring where Jackson is pinned against the cage and subjected to a series of stomps and chops from both Jon Rich and Porno Lad. The Five Star Society relishes this two on one advantage, pulverizing the man who may nearly ruined PL’s plans at 2 For 1 Special.

Without much in the way of thought Riggs gets a running start, leaps into the air, flips back over the ropes and twists into a moonsault. He crashes right on top of Porno Lad and Rich, all three men collapsing to the mats. The reaction in the building is deafening.

Mayne: And Riggs continues to throw himself around. As if he’s not getting enough abuse from his opponents, now he’s inflicting it upon himself.

Katie: I think he was just trying to top that shitty moonsault Cagero pulled off outside the ring earlier.

Now that Riggs has sacrificed himself for the good of his team Jackson is freed of the two on one assault. He limps towards the ring and rolls in under it, getting to a knee just as a recovered Cagero climbs up onto the apron behind him. Jackson has no idea what’s waiting for him, finding out in the harshest way imaginable. Simon flips over the top rope, legs landing on top of Adams’ shoulders and then twists around, flipping Jackson backwards into an inverted hurricarana.

The top of the Submission Champion’s head is spiked right into the canvas, sent flipping to his knees with a glazed over expression on his face. Saliva seeps from the corners of his mouth as Jackson bobs and weaves, almost falling over.

Katie: Thank Goddess that Jackson never got much use out of his brain to begin with.

It’s at this point that Christian slides into the ring and catches Simon from behind. He twists him around and pulls back his fist to deliver the knock out shot. In mid-swing he is caught, his leg is hooked and Simon snaps back into the Break the Silence. But wait, Christian counters with the inside leg trip, knocking him violently to the ring.

Simon drops to his back only to be rolled to his feet thanks to Christian grasping his ankle and heaving it into the air. Cagero goes rolling backwards straight to an upright base and has little time to react. Savior is already charging straight towards him, intent on delivering the spear.

Simon leap frogs him, Christian running right under his body and almost going through the ropes. He can’t stop, not even once he spots who’s standing on the opposite side of the ropes, his own tag team partner Porno Lad. The Original Prankster’s eyes widen as he is almost hit with the spear.

Thankfully he leaps back avoiding calamity at the last conceivable second. His eyes widen with rage, obviously misconstruing the whole situation. It doesn’t help matters that Christian wears a grin, realizing that he was unintentionally on the verge of delivering an oh so satisfying Spear of Destiny on his unappreciated tag team partner.

Mayne: Okay guys, settle down, settle down.

Christian’s attention is better off placed on Simon, who rolls him up from behind into the school boy.

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Savior kicks out, rolling back in the process. He ends up right on his feet just as Cagero leaps into the air intent on delivering a leaping buzzsaw kick to the skull. Savior ducks at the last possible second, the shin traveling over his head and Simon landing on his feet, back unfortunately turned towards his rival.

Christian takes advantage by going for a lariat to the back of the skull. Somehow Simon sees it coming, possessing some type of Haley Joel inspired sixth sense. He ducks forward and the bicep passes just far of his skull. Not only does he duck but he has time to go for a shocking cover. Simon wedges his back to Christian and tries to slip into the crucifix pin.

Savior’s eyes widen with fear before he lives up to his title by becoming his own personal savior. He flips back over Cagero and lands right in front of him, before bending down and leaping forward into the spear. Simon never saw it coming but feels every bit of the impact.

Mayne: Oooooh yes, the Five Star Society on the verge of victory! Another win for the most elite stable in all of wrestling.

Katie: They shouldn’t have even bothered with the match. They should have just given us the win right from the start and saved everyone some trouble.

The crowd has a split reaction as Christian crawls into the cover, hooking both of Simon’s legs, victory now ensured. As much as it pains him, Orlando swallows his pride and falls to the canvas, making the count in spite of who it benefits.

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Mayne: The Five Star Society pulls it off aga….what ya doin!?!

Porno Lad pulls Christian off the cover at the very last second. Shock sets in on the Rising Phoenix, who sits up, lips trembling, face a picture of rage.

Billy: Porno Lad….why did ya….how could ya….do you even realize what you’ve done!?!

Katie: Uhhhhh, I’m hoping there’s a valid reason for this.

Christian continues to glare at Porno Lad, who makes an emphatic statement.

Porno Lad: I’ll be damned if you steal anymore of my glory. I’M the head honcho, I’m the head cheese, your beneath me. You do as I tell you to do. Understood! For once I’m the pimp and you’re my bitch!

The crowd reacts with disdain to these comments. Others hoop and holler like their on an episode of Jerry Springer. And Christian’s response is one of stoicism. He just glares at Porno Lad, completely unresponsive to his statement, perhaps shell shocked by the fact that Porno Lad has once again stolen a victory from his clutches.

Porno Lad steps past him and takes the skull of Cagero into his clutches. He drags Simon to his feet and delivers a straight right hand across the forehead, bringing him to his knees. Porno Lad then turns and shoves the back of Christian’s head, causing Savior to snap into a full turn, resting on a kneecap and shaking.

Porno Lad: Fetch a chair and let’s finish him.

To the surprise of many, Porno Lad withstanding, Christian nods his head and complies.

Mayne: That’s right Christian, keep doing what you’re doing. Hold the Five Star Society together and don’t take this personally.

Steward: Do what’s right for us. Do whatever earns us more zeros on our paychecks.

Christian goes to retrieve a chair while Porno Lad snatches the unconscious Cagero by the hair, holding him up.

Porno Lad: You can consider this the final time you taste my boot, because after this Epic Fail the Five Star Society will not no longer bother with the pathetic Empire.

Porno Lad steps back, pivots and swings around for a truly EPIC Epic Fail.

Mayne: Here it comes…

His boot swings around and makes it within inches of Simon’s skull before Christian cuts Porno Lad off with a spear to the ribs. The Spear of Destiny connects with such force that it lifts Porno Lad from his feet and sends him crashing spine first through the table positioned in the turnbuckle earlier.

Mayne: NOOOOOOOOO!!!

The crowd is eating it up. Bullhorns are firing above their heads as they leap about in the stands. Christian steps back out of the broken chunks of wood and the fragments of Porno Lad’s body. He trembles with emotion, clutching at his hair and yanking out small strands.

Billy: You’ve lost it Savior. You’ve absolutely lost it. Have you any notion of what you just did!?! You just screwed the Five Star Society. You just severed the bonds of brotherhood.

Steward: How the heck can I trust him when we team up at Tactical Terror?

Savior backs away from Porno Lad slowly, basking in the image of his vanquished partner trapped in the shards of shattered wood. Wood broken just like the bond that held Christian and PL together. Orlando watches in shock as Christian passes by him, drops to the canvas and rolls under the ropes. He passes through the door of the cell and looks back with a whip of his hair. A grin slowly forms across his face, embracing what he’s done. He slowly breaks down into laughter, the Cartel Champion truly enjoying this sense of morbid satisfaction.

Mayne: How is the Five Star Society going to recover from this? How are Porno Lad and Christian gonna get on the same page now?

Katie: I don’t even think Dr. Phil can fix this.

Savior backs up the ramp abandoning his team at this point, leaving Jon Rich and the incapacitated Porno Lad at the mercy of his opponents.

Billy: Now the Cartel Champion is walking away. Come back here Christian, come back here!

Jackson proves just how lucky he’s prone to be, recovering at the opportune time to take advantage of the situation. Both Simon and Porno Lad are down and he’s the only man on his feet. Instead of going for the pin he turns towards the backstage area and cries out for assistance, dramatically ushering someone forward. Down the ramp rushes Suzie Clover with a bottle of Tequila in one hand and a lighter in the other.

Mayne: I think Jackson Adams is about to use the fireball to put an end to Simon Cagero. He’s taking a page out of his partner Riggs’ book.

Katie: Seeing Simon’s career end will be the only thing salvageable from this horrible, horrible match. For Goddess sakes, we just witnessed the end of the Five Star Society.

Mayne: There’s still hope, I know it. Dan Douglas will fix Christian, and fix him good.

Just as Suzie nears the cell door Orlando springs into action. He leaps between the door and Adams, lightly shoving him back across the ring. He then points at his striped shirt and orders Jackson to fall in line.

Mayne: Hey Cruze, newsflash, this is NO DQ. Like it or not, you can’t stop Generation Now from using the fireball.

Jackson steps back in shock that Orlando has seemingly crossed the line. Cruze isn’t about to let Simon’s career be ended by the likes of Adams and his Gen Now cohorts. He continues to take a stand for what’s right even as Adams drops all pretenses by reaching into his pocket and removing a bloody, tattered referee jersey.

Mayne: Oh no, what is that? Is that….is that…...?

The very shirt striped from Shaun Cruze’s body is now stretched between Adams’ hands. He holds it right up in front of Orlando’s face, forcing Cruze to fall into a disturbing silence. Cruze’s eyes become distant and vacant as he glares at the very shirt he gave his brother earlier in the night as a symbol of virtue and hope. Now he looks upon every blood stain, every rip and feels remorse.

Jackson: It didn’t have to happen, Orlando. You could of saved him. All you had to do was accept my challenge. His blood, is on your hands.

The shirt contains to stretch between Jackson’s palms and only hits the canvas once Adams does. Orlando cannot contain it anymore, not when faced with the cruel reality that he may indeed be responsible for his brother’s destruction. Like a volcano exploding and with the force of a hundred atomic warheads exploding at once, he erupts into anger via his fist colliding with Jackson’s jaw. Adams hits the canvas but pops right back up to his seat, rubbing his jaw wide eyed and stunned.

Mayne: Dammit Orlando, you’re supposed to be the referee. Your not supposed to strike the combatants, no matter what they’ve done to your family.

Katie: The only person Orlando should be hitting is himself. He’s responsible for all of this.

At the first glimpse of Orlando removing his shirt and tossing it aside, cause for much celebration from the crowd, a grin creeps over Jackson’s face. The smile is removed the moment that Orlando kicks him square in the teeth, knocking him back.

Billy: Cruze has finally snapped.

Orlando drops onto Jackson’s sternum and begins delivering piston like right hands over and over again. Each punch is vengeance for a separate disgrace, for a separate atrocity committed by Generation Now’s hands. Images of Shaun’s bloodied face fills his mind and fuels his fists. Every time he thinks of Shaun lifelessly strewn over concrete, he punches a little harder.

His jabs do not cease until Jackson’s nose is busted and squirting blood down his face. He only stops once the crimson begins to flow because Craven is dashing to the aid of his tag team partner, forcing Orlando to cut him off at the path.

Craven: You son of a bitc…

Orlando cuts him off in mid-sentence by catching Craven’s ribs to his shoulder, heaving him into the air and then planting him spine first into the canvas. The spinebuster echoes throughout the arena and sends Craven into convulsions.

Mayne: He just…he just….he took out BOTH members of Generation Now. He’s completely flipped his lid.

With both Craven and Jackson down and writhing across the canvas Cruze is free to scoop up the tattered shirt, gripping the blood soaked garment tightly in his fist. Steam almost boils from his ears as he crouches in anticipation of the Rock Bottom, palms placed to his knees. He watches eagerly as Jackson struggles to get up, the crowd finding itself climaxing at the prospect of what will come next. They set their eyes and dare not blink them in fear of missing the Rock Bottom.

Mayne: I thought we’d never have to see this again.

Jackson has no idea what awaits him as his nose gushes blood over his nearly cracked teeth. He doesn’t realize that Orlando is mere seconds from delivering the move that made the Icon a World Heavyweight Champion. Tonight, this moment, isn’t about titles, it’s about vengeance.

Orlando steps in preparing to uncoil his wrath like a rattlesnake until Clover leaps onto his back, fingernails gouging his eyes.

Mayne: Suzie is right on top of Orlando, dig those claws in girl, dig ‘em in deep!

Katie: What a night she’s having. First she beats Jason Zero and now she’s saving her teammate. I guess she isn’t the crack whore I misjudged her for.

The nails tear into Orlando’s corneas before he’s able to pluck them away from his eyes. He takes Suzie by the wrists and yanks them downward, sending her flipping over onto her seat. She hits the canvas with force and grabs at her hip, but her purpose has been served. Orlando is blinded and he’s now staggering right into Riggs, who hits him with a knee to the ribs before tossing him through the ropes to the outside of the ring. Luckily Orlando lands on his seat and prevents hitting his head. Nevertheless the tumble to the mats leaves him shaken, and his vision is still terribly affected by the nails clawing at his corneas.

Riggs is about to follow up before he’s caught from behind. Cagero steps in behind him and traps his waist in his clutches. He then falls back, trying to pull Riggs down into a roll up. However, the Painted Warrior pushes off with his spine, sending Simon down to the canvas with nothing to show for his troubles.

Cagero ends up on his feet and now Riggs barrels towards him to take advantage only to be caught around the neck and planted face first into the canvas with the Break the Silence. A reaction nearly splits the Manhattan Center down the very center.

Mayne: Ohhhh….well….SHIT! I don’t want to see Generation Now or the MOUSA win this match, but if I had to pick one over the other, I guess I wouldn’t want MOUSA to win more.

Katie: Well swallow your pride, like I did when I agreed to do this gig.

Simon climbs over Riggs’ chest, hooks the leg and looks to avenge the loss he suffered several weeks ago. Little does he realize in his traumatized state that there is no one there to make the count, Orlando Cruze is still laid out at ringside.

Billy: Hahahahaha oooooh what luck does Simon have.

The crowd counts well past three nearly into the double digits before Simon finally realizes that no official is present. He sits up in disgust before leaping to his feet. His quick upward ascension is motivated by the inbound Adams. Although bloodied and stunned by Orlando’s provoked assault, he builds the courage to stumble in and try to get the drop on Cagero. He does not succeed. Simon cuts him off with a superkick connecting right under the jaw.

Jackson looks as if he’s spitting out teeth as he turns and then crashes face first into the canvas like falling lumber.

Mayne: GRAH! The superkick connects!

The fans are feeling it, Simon is feeling it, the time is now, the MOUSA is on the verge of victory. Cagero continues to teem with adrenaline right until he turns into the clutches of Psycho. The Sadistic One enters the cell undetected right up until catching his prey and heaving him into the Redeemer.

Billy: The REDEEMER! I tell you, Psycho just redeemed himself with that move.

Katie: Pay back for earlier I suspect.

Mayne: That’s right, Psycho interfering in this Hell in a Cell just like he promised he would last week. And who does he strike at first? The very man he and Riggs have been feuding with all throughout 2009 and 2010.

The whites of Psycho’s teeth shine through his lips, which curl into the most disgusting of grins. He rises triumphantly, having secured the advantage for Generation Now. They quickly pick up the pieces, a limping Craven beginning to stomp away at Cagero’s chest. Suzie joins in on the assault, putting her feet to the banged up Motherfucker. She only stops to roll out of the ring and go after Too Magnificent, who is employing the cell wall to reach his feet and come to his partner’s aid.

He’s shut down once Clover delivers a kick to his previously assaulted leg. Too Mag falls to a kneeling base when Suzie continuing to kick his leg while periodically driving the side of his skull into the mesh. She now grates his flesh back and forth across it, forcing him to suffer for throwing her down the stairs all those weeks ago. Meanwhile Simon suffers an equally as cruel fate, apparent by the handcuffs that Psycho has removed from his pockets. The steel jangles above the Sadistic One’s head and creates much concern for the fans.

Mayne: He’s got some cuffs.

Steward: Kinky.

Mayne: I think he remembers being handcuffed to the ring-post at Extinction during Cagero’s World Title match, and now he’s looking to put Simon through the same treatment.

Max pulls Cagero by the hair to his feet, delivering clubbing blows all the while. As Craven makes sure Simon is incapacitated Psycho puts the cuffs to use. He binds Cagero’s wrists together, ensuring he cannot use his arms for any type of general defense.

Katie: Awwwww. He’s totally defenseless. This suddenly got interesting.

Mayne: Simon Cagero about to be taken out once and for all. And how fitting that the end should come at Psycho’s hands.

The Sadistic One snatches Cagero around the jaw, lifting his eyes so that they can see his scarred face.

Psycho: Look at you, kneeling before me. If you had just knelt in the shadows instead of STANDING in my way, I wouldn’t have to do what I’m about to do.

Simon: Do your worse.

Simon provokes even while on his knees, wrists cuffed and at the mercy of the most sadistic man in IWC history.

Psycho: Gladly.

Psycho retracts his fist, gleefully about to destroy one of his mortal enemies. His knuckles swing but stop in mid-strike when…..

I HOPE YOUR SATISFIED!

The building comes unglued, every eye turning to the stage where red lights and mushroom cloud explosions mark the arrival of AWOL.

Mayne: He’s HERE!

The crowd is crying out as loud as their lungs will allow them to as the Big Crazy Bastard marches through the smoke of his pyro and embarks towards the ring. Psycho waits for him, licking his lips, eyes open wide enough to rip from their sockets.

Mayne: AWOL says he wasn’t going to participate in this match but I guess he’s changed his mind.

Katie: Worse decision ever. He’s basically walking into a five on one mugging. But hey, leave it to AWOL to make the wrong decisions.

Every heart beat is accelerated at the sight of the Big Crazy Bastard descending upon the most remorseless steel structure ever manufactured, a cage trapping Generation Now with nowhere to run. AWOL stops to take it all in, the chanting of his name, the mesh wiring separating him from Psycho and also trapping him inside. He doesn’t even so much as glance at the pile of bodies that lay at Psycho’s feet, his eyes never break away from his former pupil.

The Sadistic One shows no fear, no hesitation, only anticipation. He leans forward and waves his mentor into the cell by flapping his fingers inward. Far be it from AWOL to not take up the invitation. He steps through the cell and symbolically slams the door shut behind his back.

Mayne: AWOL is inside of the Cell. He’s in the Cell ladies and gentlemen, and this means all sorts of trouble.

Katie: Especially for those with perfect vision. I never thought I’d be jealous of an imperfect person, but I wish I had vision impairment right now.

Anticipation continues to build as AWOL makes his way up every step to the apron. Now there is nothing, sans the ropes, standing between himself and Psycho, an individual who disgraced the legacy of the Big Crazy Bastard. The very man who both defied and assaulted him on so many occasions. This is it, the moment many fans had longed for, for so very long. AWOL, Psycho, the monsters, mentor, pupils, the legends. AWOL steps through the ropes and the hair on everyone’s arms stands on end.

Billy: We’ve been waiting a long time to see these two collide. And by we…present company is excluded.

Katie: Just get it over with already. This is taking forever.

AWOL slowly crouches forward, well aware that Psycho could snap at any second. His concern was well founded as Psycho looks to spoil the moment by getting an early advantage. He rushes forward and throws a right that nails AWOL in the temple. The Big Crazy Bastard responds with a straight shot to the teeth, jangling every pearly white that remains in Psycho’s mouth.

Mayne: The brawl is ON! The monsters have been unleashed.

Psycho nails AWOL with a right, AWOL creams Psycho with a shot of his own. The fists keep going back and forth as do the crowd’s emotions with each swing. They boo every shot that Psycho connects with an explode into cheers every time the Big Crazy Bastard gets the advantage. He looks to secure it with a well timed forearm shiver to the temple, rattling Psycho’s brain.

The Sadistic One falls to a knee and AWOL then reaches out and grabs hold of his throat, chokeslam in store for his student.

Billy: And it ends quickly.

Just before AWOL can put Psycho through the ring and settle a grudge spanning many years, the moment is ruined. Psycho grabs AWOL’s tights, and pulls him forward into a headbunt to the gut. AWOL doubles over clutching at his ribs and Psycho reaches out catching him by the throat with both hands.

Mayne: No, AWOL’s gonna be redeemed.

The crowd watches with dread as AWOL prepares to be hit with the lethal double handed chokebomb. Psycho relishes every moment, on the verge of putting his rivalry with AWOL to an end. That’s before his moment is now spoiled thanks to AWOL’s head. The Big Crazy Bastard connects with a headbunt right to the bridge of Psycho’s nose, perhaps fracturing it. Psycho steps back swatting at his nasal cavity while AWOL procures a handy weapon that conveniently lie within his reach.

The chair is scooped into AWOL’s hands and quickly put to use. He spins around and slams the chair against Psycho’s head with such force that it reverberates through the whole building.

Mayne: NASTY!

Katie: Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. I mean no one wants to see these two in skin tight spandex.

AWOL is SHOCKED that Psycho is still standing. The Sadistic One almost looses his footing and teeters but does not go over. He is still upright, he is still standing against AWOL, showing just how high his pain threshold can be. AWOL truly puts it to the test when he waffles him over the head with a second chair shot.

Psycho almost goes down, knees bending, spine curling, but STILL he stands. Intensity is evident by his bloodshot eyes, his steely gaze, his curled lips and his tense muscles. He stands back up and trembles from head to toe, veins dancing beneath his flesh. AWOL has seen enough. He steps forward and connects this time with a shot so violent it damn near shatters the chair on impact.

Psycho collapses to his spine, and wraps both hands around his swelling brain.

Mayne: That….that…that was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.

With a warped chair in hand AWOL stands over his pupil, victimizing the very man who demanded his allegiance and spat on his credibility. A small dose of retribution has been gained, but he’s yet to achieve his full goal, the total destruction of Generation Now. A few chair shots is only the beginning of what AWOL has in store for the Sadistic One, who is now struggling to his feet to the surprise of many.

Mayne: How in the hell is he getting back up?

Blood seeps down Psycho’s skull as he creeps towards his feet, employing the use of a nearby crutch.

Psycho has reached his feet with the aid of Simon Cagero’s shoulder. He still holds onto Simon for support, which he needs once he spots AWOL storming towards him. Psycho may become weak kneed but he doesn’t lose all control of his bodily functions, he retains his survival instinct by tossing Simon between himself and the Big Crazy Bastard. Cagero falls against AWOL’s chest, resting against his partner, who is surprisingly considerate. He helps Simon stand tall even as Psycho rolls out of the ring, clutching at his bludgeoned cranium.

Billy: A smart tactic by Psycho, employing Cagero to get between himself and the Big Crazy Bastard, sparing himself any further shots from that steel chair.

Katie: You can never use the words “smart” and “Psycho” in the same sentence. It’s a total oxymoron.

The grimacing AWOL watches as Psycho makes his way towards the cell door, brushing off his former ally. As Psycho steps out of the cell AWOL’s chest begins to heave, breathing harder, the muscles in his cheeks twitching. It isn’t until he hears Simon’s voice that he begins to calm down.

Simon: It’s about time, bro…..

AWOL swings around and breaks the chair right over Simon’s head.

Mayne: YAAAAAHH!

Katie: Wonderful!

The crowd screams at the sight of a broken chair hanging around the handcuffed Cagero’s neck. His eyes roll to the back of his head and his legs loose all strength, his body slowly tumbling to the canvas. AWOL glares menacingly at the unconscious Cagero, watching as blood begins to ooze from a laceration he created in his scalp.

AWOL: I’m through telling you…..

He crouches, hands on his knees.

AWOL: Stay out of my way.

A “holy shit” chant tears through the Ted Reeve Arena thanks to the sheer viciousness of the chair plowing into Cagero’s skull. Without an inkling of emotion AWOL turns his back on the unconscious Cagero. That’s when his ankle is grabbed and he’s dragged under the ropes to the outside by Psycho. The two pick up where they left off, exchanging shots with the Sadistic One getting the better of his former mentor on this exchange. They brawl through the door and up the ramp.

Mayne: AWOL just….well….murdered….Cagero in the center of the ring. He broke a chair over his friggin head. That’s how pissed off he was about Simon constantly getting between him and his objective.

Katie: Plus there’s about a thousand other reasons to hate Cagero.

The battle persists between Psycho and AWOL, eventually spilling to the backstage area, while Cagero lies motionless in the center of the ring, eyes rolled to the back of his head. A recovered Jon Rich looks to take advantage on behalf of the glorious Five Star Society. He ascends to the apron and then climbs the nearest turnbuckle.

Billy: The Five Star Society still has a chance. Jon Rich is about to clinch a victory for our establishment.

Katie: Our? Your not actually a full fledged member YET. You still have to undergo our complicated, and torturous pledge initiation.

Mayne: What does that involve.

Katie: Being locked in a closet, tied to a chair, eyelids taped open, watching twenty four hours of Stacy Kissinger promos.

Billy: There are laws against hazing.

Jon now stabilizes himself on the top rope and prepares to take flight when he’s suddenly caught around the throat. Rich’s eyes widen as Too Magnificent cuts him off at the pass. The monster was able to fight off Suzie, who now rests on her knees at ringside, just in time to come to his partner’s aid. With a clutch on Rich’s throat he now shoves him off the top of the turnbuckle. Jon flies back off the corner and slams into the mesh wall of the cell. He bounces off and collapses to the mats amongst a loud groan from the sold out crowd.

Mayne: Ohhh good Goddess no! That was barbaric.

Jon lie crippled on the mats after taking this nasty, career shortening bump. Too Magnificent now turns to address the rest of his rivals only to black out when he’s caught under the jaw with the Epic Fail. The crowd jeers as the Original Prankster, even on unsure footing, knocks Too Magnificent out with his patented spinning superkick.

Billy: Porno Lad’s back up! And he EPIC FAILED Too Magnificent! The Five Star Society on the verge of yet another win. They will continue to show that even divided they still stand victorio….watch out!

Billy’s spastic comments relate to the interference of Adams. Just as Porno Lad is on the verge of going for the pin he’s caught by the back of the head, charged across the ring and thrown through the ropes. He eventually tumbles to the outside of the ring and rolls into the cell, leaning against. Meanwhile, behind Jackson’s back, Clover is climbing the turnbuckle, reaching the top rope. She stabilizes herself before flipping forward into the 450 splash, connecting right across Too Magnificent’s sternum. She then rolls off of her vanquished foe just as Riggs scales to the top rope and takes flight. He hits the senton bomb across Too Mag’s mid-section then falls back into the cover, hooking both legs.

Mayne: 450 from Clover, followed by the senton bomb from Riggs. But there’s still no referee. No referee whatsoever. The FSS still has a chance.

From the backstage area rushes referee Fitzpatrick, who passes through the door, steps past an ailing Cruze and slides into the ring. His hand emphatically meets the canvas, drawing a close to what has been the most controversial Hell in a Cell match perhaps ever.

1

2

3!

The whole building rumbles, shock hanging on all faces as Generation Now has just secured the victory by virtue of Riggs pinning Too Magnificent.

Mayne: This isn’t fair. THIS ISN’T FAIR! Porno Lad did all the work and then Generation Now swooped in and picked up the pinfall. They robbed the FSS, they ROBBED them!

Katie: At least the Motherfuckers didn’t win.

Mayne: That’s true.

In spite of the victor the fans rise as one, giving a standing ovation to one of the most insane confrontations ever witnessed, being treated to swerves, betrayals, high spots, nasty bumps, and incidents of vengeance. Porno Lad sits up with his back propped to the cell, hurting from head to toe, eyes swelling with anger as he hears the theme music of Riggs playing over the PA system. For once Orlando and PL share a similar sentiment, Cruze enraged that the victory went to the now celebrating Generation Now.

Riggs rolls to his knees and extends his arms out to his sides, basking in this monumental, career defining victory. Suzie is right there to celebrate with him, hands on his shoulders, whispering sweet nothings into his ear. Jackson steps in as does a barely recovered Craven, the two lifting Riggs’ arms into the air in victory.

Mayne: Generation Now just pulled off the biggest win of their careers. They survived all of the twists, the turns, all the violence in order to emerge from Hell in a Cell as the ultimate victors.

Katie: I say they should send Christian Savior a fruit basket, because if it happened been for him spearing Porno Lad, none of this would have happened.

Billy: They should give a shout out to AWOL too, for taking out Cagero with the most disturbing chair shot I’ve ever heard.

THE FALL

Both Porno Lad and Jon Rich find themselves so perturbed by the image in the ring that they can no longer contain themselves. The Five Star Society members roll into the cell just as Katelyn Buehler, BFG, Paris Dannon and Robin Brooks come rushing through the curtains. They storm straight towards the cell.

Mayne: The FSS isn’t about to let Generation Now have this moment.

Katie: Yes, Porno Lad is a bigger spotlight stealer than Hulk Hogan.

The vengeful Society members slide into the ring and catch Generation Now completely off guard. A brawl now ensues between both stables, continuing their war as if Hell in a Cell never ended. Riggs finds himself fighting with Brooks while Katelyn and Rich go straight after Adams, who is trying to overcome the numbers advantage. Craven squares off with Porno Lad, the exhausted athletes trading shots with one another.

Mayne: This war is far from over, at least in the minds of the Five Star Society that is.

The brawl now begins to spill through the ropes. Riggs is speared through the cables by the Black Widow, both of them twisting to the mats. Adams throws Rich through the cables and is blindsided from behind by Buehler and Dannon, before they put the boots to him. He eventually spills under the ropes with both ladies keeping the pressure on.

Craven and Porno Lad exchange knife edge chops as they spill through the ropes and now throw each other into the cell wall. All the while, in the midst of this chaos Suzie is left alone in the ring, spinning around looking for someone to fight. She gets exactly what she wants when Too Magnificent chillingly sits up behind her. The crowd erupts as the Golden Goliath gets to his seat and twists his spirit shaking gaze towards the woman who just cost him the victory.

Suzie turns around and stops breathing at the sight of the malicious Too Magnificent glaring ever so ominously at her.

Mayne: Oh no, there is absolutely nothing standing between Too Magnificent and Suzie Clover at this point. Wait, shouldn’t that make me happy?

Katie: I know it brings a grin to my face.

Suzie begins to step in and finish the job on Too Magnificent when removes something from his boot, a RAILROAD SPIKE. The Canadians almost cream in their shorts as Too Magnificent rises to his feet, weapon protruding from between his fingers, ready to rip through her flesh. Suzie does the smart thing, dropping to the canvas, rolling under the ropes and now scurrying through the cell door. She weaves through the sea of brawling bodies, through all the chaos with Too Magnificent hot on her heels, once again pursuing her.

She has but one option remaining at this point, at least in her own mind. She grabs hold of the cell and begins to climb towards the top.

Mayne: Where is she going? Where are you going Suzie? That’s the worse direction to head.

Katie: Well, she is tatted up like a carney, so she probably has their intelligence level.

She climbs quicker and quicker, reaching the top of the wall and then throwing her leg over onto the roof. Suzie sighs in relief as she rolls onto the roof and stretches herself out, having no idea that Too Magnificent is climbing up after her, spike clinched in his teeth.

Billy: Now Too Magnificent is climbing up after her. Keep running Suzie, keep running!

Down below everyone has now spilt out of the cell and brawl at the end of the ramp. Generation Now and the Five Star Society continue their war, oblivious to what is transpiring high above. Suzie steps across the roof unaware that Too Magnificent is now right behind her. She turns around, wide eyed and panic stricken, throwing a right hand only to have the Magnificent One catch hold.

Mayne: He’s got her in his hands, he’s finally got hold of Suzie Clover. You remember what happened last time he did.

Katie: No, because I don’t care to remember. It’s too much work with little payoff.

Too Magnificent retracts the spike, ready to rip Suzie’s flesh apart before cooler heads prevail. He seemingly comes to his senses, allowing the spike to slip out of his hand and fall to the roof of the cell.

Mayne: Good, Too Magnificent realized that Suzie already has enough piercings and didn’t need anot…..HEY NOW!

Just as Suzie takes a breath of relief she is pulled forward by the wrist into a gorilla press. Every seat is emptied, every fan standing as Too Magnificent steps to the edge of the cell with Suzie held high above his head.

Mayne: No, no, no, not this, not this, not this!

Generation Now and the Five Star Society keep trading shots down below, completely unaware of what awaits them. Suzie threatens Too Magnificent, telling him that if he goes through with this his career is all but finished. The thought makes Too Mag’s face blush. What brings him greater joy though is throwing Suzie from the top of the cell with the gorilla press and sending her crashing onto all the fighting combatants down below.

Mayne: AAAAAAAHHH! Suzie thrown from the top of the cell!

Katie: Nice visual.

Every fan is upright screaming….

Fans: HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT!

Suzie collapses onto both the Five Star Society and Generation Now, the bodies giving out beneath her. They all collapse to the mats with a broken Clover lying on top of them. The demented, maniacal Too Magnificent screams towards the heavens as he stands on the roof of the cell, arms raised to his sides.

Mayne: This is……I don’t even know how to describe it. We just witnessed…..JESUS CHRIST!

The rousing ovation continues as Too Magnificent cries towards the heavens.

Billy: Too Magnificent tossed Suzie Clover off the top of Hell in a Cell. He may have killed her for Christ sakes.

Katie: One less chick stealing my thunder doesn’t bother me.

The reaction is deafening, the fans still overwhelmed with excitement after Too Magnificent’s disturbing act. An act that can only be topped by one man. AWOL. The fans were so preoccupied with the pile of bodies at ringside and the insane bump that Clover just took that they don’t even spot AWOL climbing up the cell wall, having re-emerged through the crowd this time. Before he’s even spotted he’s right on top of Too Magnificent. The Golden Goliath turns around and finds his throat snatched in the palm of AWOL’s hand.

Mayne: Wait. It’s AWOL again. He’s back! I thought he was brawling with Psycho. OHHHH-HOOOO-HOOO!

Billy’s reaction mirrors the response from the crowd when AWOL takes out another tag team partner in eerily familiar fashion. The fans again come out of their seats when Too Magnificent is chokeslammed through the top of the cell and sent crashing all the way down to the center of the ring.

Mayne: GAAAAH! Too Magnificent….he was…he chokeslammed him....he went through the cell….my Goddess!

Katie: Think they can still patch things up?

AWOL trembles as he stares through the gaping hole left in the roof of the cell, staring all the way down at Too Magnificent’s mangled body lying next to an unconscious Cagero. Both of his teammates having been taken out by his own hands.

Mayne: AWOL has just destroyed the Motherfuckers. He put a handcuffed Simon’s head through a chair, and he put Too Magnificent through the cell just like he did to Andre Bates all those years ago.

Katie: Andre Who?

Mayne: A guy AWOL crippled much the same way he just crippled Too Magnificent.

AWOL continues to glare menacingly towards the bodies of his vanquished partners, thinking God only knows what.

FADE TO BLACK