OPENING VIDEO PACKAGE

RIOT!

DANIEL ACKART VS. KITTY BUEHLER VS. JASON ZERO VS. MAX CRAVEN

There are no fireworks nor pre show introductions from the insufferable duo of Katie Steward and Billy Mayne. Instead no time is wasted, made evident by the introduction of one Kitty Buehler. The crowd’s pop reaches a whole nother decibel as Kitty steps through the curtains, her arrival made all the more climactic thanks to her new entrance music blaring through the loud PA system.

Billy Mayne: We are LIVE for the final Riot! before Paranoia VII, and what better way to open a show than with a really hot Christian chick who I’d like to see copy that crucifix masturbation scene from the Exorcist.

Katie Steward: Congratulations. I think with one sentence you just got everyone to simultaneously change the channel.

Billy: I just set a new personal record.

Katie: It isn’t a feat worth bragging about. Although, I guess since you’ve accomplished nothing else in your career, you might as well as hold onto this one.

Mayne: Believe me, I will. Speaking of feats, we’re about to see Kitty overcome an epic one, as she will hurdle over three other opponents and emerge victorious from this opening four way. And you know what? I bet she’ll do it by pinning the World Heavyweight Champion. Yep, that’s what’s gonna happen.

Kitty reaches her destination, the center of the ring where she pantomimes a cross, doing so over her chest and stomach.

Billy: See that. God isn’t gonna let somethin’ that fine be hurt. You just watch, she’ll have heavenly powers on her side as she goes to war in this four way.

Katie: Of course she will, because I shall be supporting her all throughout this match.

The crowd has a mixed reaction to Kitty, unsure what to make of her given her complex relationship with the Original Prankster.

The house lights melt down to black as a major-key alto-soprano Gregorian chant begins...but instead of an actual Gregorian chant, they talk-sing the following...

I-RA-TUUUUS...ANTI MAAAAACHINAAAAAA...DEEEEEUUUUUS...EEEEEX MAAAAACHINAAAAA...IN MAX WE TRUUUUUUST...AT THE CHUUUUUURRRRRCH...OF HOT ADDIIIIIIIICTIONNNNNN...

It cross-fades into "Church of Hot Addiction" by Cobra Starship, and the lights begin flashing green, gold, white, and black. The Cartel-Tron, meanwhile, shows green code raining down on a black background, forming words and phrases to match the chants. A black-with-green-trim-robed figure emerges from the back as the music gets to the first verse.

Just let me ask you--"HEY..."

He is accompanied by another robed figure, quite a bit smaller, and her hood is lowered, revealing Mercy Heaven. They reach the center of the stage.

"...Have you heard of my RELIGION??"

They pause and lower their heads as Mercy goes behind the robed figure.

"It's called the 'Church of Hot Addiction', and we believe that God has lust for ev-er-y-thin'...cuz NOW..."

The robed figure thrusts his arms out and the robe suddenly "flies" off his body into Mercy's hands, accompanied by outward-shooting pyros from either side of the ramp, revealing a grinning MAX in the middle of the spark-storm.

"...The time has come for your DEVOTION...and you already got the NOTION...of what I need; so give it, just give it, just give it to me...(you're will-ing, I'm wait-ing...turn out the lights!)"

The lights melt down during that line, then they begin flashing even faster on the next line as MAX runs to the ring at medium speed, Mercy walking to the backstage area with the robes in hand.

The moment that Max enters the ring he begins showboating to the perceived delight of the masses.

Mayne: And here’s another name RANDOMLY drawn from the hat and forced to compete in this four way for the soul purpose of feeding Jason Zero’s ego. Craven isn’t one to service the egos of others though, his purpose in life is shattering them. He may have done so in the Hell in a Cell, but not at the expense of the Five Star Society. He won’t have that honor tonight either.

Katie: Yes, he’s like you, Minion. He must cling to even the most miniscule of accomplishments. You know what’s sad? Besides you….?

Billy: Uhhh?

Steward: He’s probably one of those guys who brags about ALMOST pinning someone. That’s NOT an accomplishment. How lame is that?

Billy: Pretty lame.

The fact that a member of the Five Star Society stands opposed to Craven is not wasted on the Generation Now representative. He stomps towards Kitty only to be cut off by the referee.

Craven: Keep standing behind the referee like you stand behind your man.

Kitty’s blood boils.

Max: Like Orlando Cruze stands behind his brother. You can’t hide from destiny forever. Eventually Generation Now will put you down right alongside the rest of the Five Star Society.

Her lips tremble with anger. Max’s tongue is only silenced by…

The lights slowly dim, creating a blue luminescant throughout the arena, as Romance starts to play. The Cartel Tron flickers to life, showing the man's signature move, Denoument on several people throughout his years, mainly SCW wrestlers, before a piece of writing shows up on screen.

Daniel Ackart steps out from the backstage area, to a cascade of boos throughout the arena. He walks out to the edge of the stage, and lowers his sunglasses, before looking out into the crowd. A smug grin appears on his face, as he starts down to the ring, while undoing his shirt button by button. Daniel walks around the ring, as Simon climbs the steps.

Daniel climbs up on the apron, knee first, before making it to his feet. Daniel climbs into the ring.

Daniel throws his shirt over the ropes, and takes off his sunglasses before putting them into the corner.

The lights return to normal, as Simon exits the ring, and Daniel awaits the match to begin.

Mayne: And as if this match couldn’t be anymore evocative of the stable wars here in the IWC, now we have a member of the Motherfuckers of the United States of America set to compete in this four way as well. You know, there seems nothing RANDOM about the selection of Zero’s opponents.

Katie: Yes, this is as fishy as Sasha Drachewych’s breath.

Mayne: Indeed. I think Zero picked these three, because he KNEW they’d be focused on taking out each other, given the fact that there all on opposing stables here in the IWC, and then he could just swoop in and pick up the win.

Steward: Hopefully it’s Daniel Ackart who takes the fall too, why break the MOUSA’s loosing streak against the Five Star Society? Their just so talented at jobbing against us.

Mayne: Yes they are.

Katie: By us, that excludes you.

Mayne: Oh.

Ackart is in the ring and ready to get to busy, in a way he’s unaccustomed to, through violence rather than other physically exertive exercises. The crowd now anticipates the arrival of the fourth and final combatant, they slap their palms against the barricade, building the excitement for the IWC World Heavyweight Champion. A loud rumble sweeps all throughout the building, reverberating from the walls and through the seats. The anticipation builds to a burst of energy as Zero’s entrance music hits the PA system and the Hero of All Times emerges from the back. The World Championship strewn over the shoulder of his counterpart, Kassie Khane. The two stand shoulder to shoulder on the stage with the fans rallying behind them.

Billy: And here stands Jason Zero, two weeks removed from his final night as World Heavyweight Champion.

Katie: He’s probably spent a lot of time recently coveting that belt. He probably showers with it, sleeps with it, and I don’t even want to imagine what else.

Mayne: Please don’t get me thinking about that. To keep my mind off the traumatizing images now filling it, let’s discuss why Zero put together this four way. At Paranoia VII he will potentially be defending his belt against not one, but TWO opponents. Should he survive the first ever World Champion versus World Champion match at Paranoia, he’ll then go on to face the winner of Christian Savior versus Porno Lad. So to gear up for it he had three opponents RANDOMLY….

Katie: Pllleeeaase.

Billy:…..to give him a tune up.

Before entering the ring and commencing with this explosive opening contest Jason has something on his mind, which he is about to get out through his lips. A microphone rises to his mouth and the crowd falls quiet.

Zero: Two weeks, 14 days, the Zero Hour will be upon us. Paranoia VII…..

The mere mention of the event results in a deafening roar. Electricity teeming in the air on the eve of the grandest spectacle in all of wrestling.

Jason: And when the clock ticks down to zero, when I stand before the likes of Jake Starr, Porno Lad and my poor, pathetic brother, THIS will be the image you are left with.

The IWC World Title twinkles above Jason’s head. Once again the reception is roof shattering.

Zero: Just like tonight, three will oppose me and three will fall. I worked too hard, too long to hold this championship, so if you think that a bunch of whiners who had everything handed to them are simply going to take it away, your wrong.

Jason steps towards the ring where Ackart, Buehler and Craven are anxious to get this action underway. Clearly they want to send a message to each other but are tempted by the possibility to shut Zero’s mouth and be the one who pins his shoulder to the canvas. The World Champion moves up the steps to the apron, Kassie once again holding the title over her shoulder at this point. As he enters the ring she ascends to the apron, waiting there so as to give Jason the spotlight.

Jason: Porno Lad has an obsession with the perfect Paranoia moment. Well how does he think I feel? In all the years I’ve been in this company I’ve never won at a Paranoia. I’ve never seen my goal reached at THE wrestling event. If anyone NEEDS, nay DESERVES…to live out their dream at Paranoia, it’s Jason Zero. And believe me, this year WILL be different. I will REVERSE the CURSE. I will have MY perfect Paranoia, and it might just come at your expense, Porno Lad.

The crowd likes this…..they like it a lot.

Zero: Christian Savior. Your no more important to me than the three jobbers selected from my wool cap I face here tonight.

Jason makes no bones about endearing himself to the opposition, who are now seriously contemplating targeting the champ rather than each other.

Zero: I’ve beaten you, many, MANY times. Rather it be in the land of Supreme, or the Independent Cartel, I’ve been laying you to waste all throughout our careers. From the time we wrestled in our Uncle’s backyard to our epic clashes for the World Championship. BUT….that changed last year, when you became one of two men to put a blemish on my Paranoia record. Yeah, I haven’t forgotten, and I’m sure you haven’t either, considering it’s THE defining moment of your career. In one match out of five hundred, you pinned me…

The thought actually stings Zero.

Jason: Which, although insufferable, wouldn’t have been as bad if you didn’t pin me at Paranoia VI, and cost me my dream of leaving the grand spectacle as the World Heavyweight Champion. Believe me, Christian, BROTHER, that will not happen again. If our paths cross this year there will be a reversal of fortunes. If we lock up again and do this dance, YOU will fall at my feet. You cost me the World Title last year at Paranoia, now it’s time for me to return the favor.

The fans are delighted by the idea of seeing Zero achieve retribution against his reviled sibling.

Zero: Which brings me to you, Jake Starr.

The mention of his name results in delight from the sold out crowd. Some are enthused while others sit on their hands, refusing to support the man who will collide with their precious World Champion at Paranoia.

Jason: Last week you came into the building and played mind games with me. You TRIED to give me a taste of my own medicine, as Billy Mayne oh so generically put it. Sure, you cost me my match against a rookie, I have egg on my face. But do you think that loss hurts me, or makes me stronger? Do you think it’s lowered my morale or intensified my desire to beat you in the clash of the champions? What crossed your mind when you entered this building last week and went for that superkick? Did you honestly think it would throw me off my game at Paranoia VII? Of course it hasn’t. All you did was revealed your strategy to me, and I WILL capitalize on it. I know your tricks now, I know what lengths you’ll stoop to in order to take MY title, and I’ll be ready for them.

Jason glances at Kassie, who proudly nods her head to every statement he makes.

Jason: Jake….we’ve done a lot of talking over the past few months about who’s better than who? About who deserves this championship more than the other? But I’m tired of prophesizing, I’m tired of defending myself with words. The time has come for idle chatter to end and for us to resolve this once and for all. I can think of no better place, no more fitting a show to do it than at Paranoia VII. It’s all conspired to lead us here, Jake, to a match of the century. Legend versus Up and Comer. World Title on the line. You couldn’t ask for a better story. But this tale, this epic ballad will not have a happy ending, for you….

Jason’s intimidating comments end when static distorts the Cartel-tron. It takes this anomaly to divert attention away from the World Champion in the ring. The distortion begins to clear up and images finally find their way to the screen. Images covering the shocking incident transpiring just a few weeks ago. Zero turns away in disgust, not kindly reminded of Jake’s attempt at the superkick. The lights fade out in the midst of Jason’s clash with Suzie Clover but when they come back up it reveals that the opponents are not alone in the ring. Jake crouches behind Zero and goes for the superkick only for the lights to dim again.

Mayne: Starr forcing Zero to relive what happened to him last week.

When the ring is once more illuminated Jason leers at Starr holding the World Title high above his skull. The camera zooms in on the shocked face of Zero, capturing it from a variety of different angles, making use of every view to show the surprise inhabiting his eyes. When the footage ends so to does Zero’s monologue. He throws down the microphone in the center of the ring and begins to pace, head shaking.

Billy: I don’t think Zero likes being reminded of his faux pas from last week.

Katie: Serves him right, because I don’t like to be reminded that Jason Zero even exists.

It seems that Jason is debating something, two halves of his brain bickering back and forth. Finally he reaches a decision and it’s not one that the crowd likes. It even leaves Kassie scratching her head and pleading with him to reconsider. Her pleas are muffled by the crowd’s reaction at the sight of Zero rolling out of the ring and storming towards the backstage area.

Mayne: Where the hell is Zero going? Isn’t he suppose to stay out here and get crushed in the ring?

Katie: Please don’t deprive us the opportunity to see you get pinned by another rookie, Zero. I need something to laugh about.

Kassie trails behind Zero trying to talk some sense into the IWC World Champion but he will have none of it. For once he is single minded, bent on one thing, making Jake Starr suffer for his teasing. He and Kassie pass through the curtains leaving a sea of confused fans behind and three opponents left wondering about the standing of their match. They direct their questions to the referee who shrugs and insists that Jason is forfeiting, which means this is now a triple threat encounter. He tears away from the competitors to call for the bell, which chimes fiercely in the background.

Mayne: Jason left so I guess the only fair thing to do would be to carry on without him in the form of a three way.

Katie: No, the fair thing would be to give me a gun, so I can shoot myself. I’ve already killed my credibility commentating here in the IWC, might as well as finish the job.

Although they are still confused, all shoulders shrugging, Craven drops all pretenses by popping Ackart in the jaw with a closed fist. He then leaps into Kitty and drills her to the cheek with a forearm strike. She collapses to the canvas, leaving Craven and Ackart mono a mono.

Daniel shakes off the sucker punch and then delivers a boot to the inbound ribs of Craven, doubling him over. Ackart reacts quickly by delivering repeated forearms to the both of Craven’s temples, backing the Generation Now member across the ring. He is eventually clutched by the wrist and shot off into the ropes. Max attempts the reversal only to find his reversal reversed. As the crowd goes cross eyed Max rushes into the ropes, ricochets off and then comes back in at a crouched Ackart.

Daniel bends forward for the purposes of a back drop only to have Max leap into the air, land on his kidneys, hook his ankles under Ackart’s armpits and then flip him over into a sunset driver.

Mayne: Ohhh, Craven not hesitating to hit the big move early, and it might already have put Ackart away.

Katie: No, NO! The Five Star Society cannot tolerate another loss, especially not one to Generation Now. The last thing they need is momentum. I would suggest they get a shower first.

Max leans forward into the creases of Ackart’s knees while the referee makes an emphatic count.

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Buehler is there to break up the pin, lunging at Craven with both boots and driving them directly into his face. The collision knocks Max to his back, pulling on Ackart’s knees and causing him to sit up, now mounting the sternum of his opponent. Ackart reacts quickly, reaching back and hooking the creases of Craven’s knees.

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Max fortunately kicks out, launching Ackart off of him. He stumbles forward with his head lowered, walking right into a European Uppercut by Buehler. The stiff shot causes Daniel to stand up albeit on wobbly legs. He staggers around trying to maintain his footing despite having his brain rattled.

Kitty rushes in for a second European Uppercut only to have Ackart catch on. He bends forward, causing Kitty to twist out of the move so that her spine falls against Daniel’s back. He stands up and as a result sends Buehler flipping back, landing on her feet. She then leaps into the air, twists and connects with a diving European Uppercut on the now upright Max Craven.

Mayne: OUTSTANDING. Do you see, do you see how blessed she is? And I’m talking in terms more than her ass this time.

Katie: It’s about time you realized Kitty was more than a pear of tight fitting jeans.

Billy: I’ve always known that, especially when wearing that low cut tank top.

Steward: Oh how my time is squandered on you.

The crowd cannot help but to cheer at the sight of the lesser of two evils getting his comeuppance. Some of them even cheer Buehler on as she leaps to her feet, slapping her bicep, which has been the primary source of her offense throughout this contest. She only stops taunting once she turns into Ackart and receives a receives a running back elbow to the sternum, knocking her from her feet.

Ackart twists out of the move and falls against the ropes, using them briefly for support and then employing them for more vicious reasons. He spins towards the cables, leaps over them to the apron and then prepares to take flight. He shakes the top rope repeatedly, both feet hitting the apron in anticipation. Cameras are raised in the crowd, everyone wanting a snapshot of what’s about to come next.

As Daniel prepares to soar through the air and deliver a potentially crippling blow on the rising Kitty, he catches a glimpse of Craven rushing in from his side. Max drops down into a baseball slide, intent on taking Daniel’s legs out from under him before he could go airborne.

Max misses his target by mere inches, Ackart leaping into the air to avoid him. Max slips under the ropes just as Daniel leaps unto them, springing from the top and soaring towards Kitty only to receive a dropkick in mid-air.

Mayne: OHHHH-YES! Ackart is down and it’s all thanks to IWC’s heavenly body, Kitty Buehler. Go for the pin Kitty. Pin him now, NOW.

An ailing Ackart writhes on the canvas before being pinned in place by Buehler, who throws her body over his sternum and hooks his leg.

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Max breaks up the pinfall with a double axehandle to the back of Kitty’s head.

Mayne: I’m really, really, REALLY getting annoyed with Generation Now though. It seems that they’re foiling the Five Star Society around every corner.

He takes Buehler around the jaw and leads her up to her feet only to deliver a sweeping forearm across her upper back. Kitty turns away, wincing in pain and exposing her spine to the Gen Now representative. He quickly takes advantage, grabbing Buehler by the belt and dragging her spine first into his forearm. Her back bends around Craven’s arm, her body shaking from the brutality inflicted on it.

Max quickly pins his shoulder to her spine and heaves her up into the air, back drop suplex moments from being delivered. Before he may successfully conclude this maneuver by driving Buehler through the canvas, she flips back and avoids a truly unsettling fate. She lands on her feet, leaps into the air and twists into a flying European Uppercut on a now upright Ackart’s throat. Daniel bends forward, avoiding the Euro Uppercut yet again but exposing himself to another sunset flip variation.

Buehler leaps over his back, catches his hips and tries to pull him down into the sunset flip. Catch that little word….TRIES? Ackart swings his arms and somehow remains upright despite the traumatized state of his ribs. Buehler desperately yanks down on his hips, trying as she may to force him into a pin. Daniel will have none of it, fighting with everything he has to keep both feet planted to the canvas.

That’s before his attention shifts to the inbound shin of Craven. Max swings around into a buzzsaw kick directed at Daniel’s head only for Ackart to avoid it by means of a timely duck. Craven’s momentum sends him spinning right into the clutches of Ackart, who catches him across the chest. He leaps into the air and lands with his rump across Kitty’s chest while driving Max down with a capture, sit-out spinebuster.

Max’s back hits the canvas with significant force while all of Ackart’s weight crushes Kitty’s sternum. He leans forward, shoulders wedged to the back of one opponent’s knees while sitting across the chest of another. The referee slaps the canvas with both palms to symbolize a double pin.

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Two shoulders shoot simultaneously from the ring.

Mayne: Oh thank you, thank you, thank you. I thought Ackart was moments away from continuing his undefeated streak here in the IWC. I think we have enough of those already. Of course they all pale in comparison to the near two year unpinned streak that Porno Lad has been on.

Katie: Keep in mind, I’ve never been pinned in the IWC either, and I’ve been around for what feels like an eternity.

Since his pinfall didn’t pay off, Ackart employs another tactic at this point. He grabs Craven’s legs and drags them over the shoulders of a still laid out Kitty, wrapping them around her neck. Once he makes sure their tightly clamped around Kitty’s windpipe he rolls both she and Craven to their stomachs, stepping over Max’s back and pulling him up into a camel clutch. He locks in this hold which forces Max’s legs to tense up around Kitty’s neck.

Katie: Pfft. As if Ackart knows anything about innovation.

Mayne: I’ve never seen anything like this before.

Steward: That’s understandable, seeing as you NEVER watch ANY of the matches.

Billy: Can you blame me?

Katie: Of course not.

Daniel rears back on the chin until Max’s neck almost snaps, causing his legs to tighten like a boa constrictor on the oxygen deprived Buehler. She lifts her hand to tap out but somehow resists, instead knuckling up and driving her fists into the canvas. She begins to rock her body back and forth until she forces herself up into a headstand.

The crowd finds themselves dazzled as Buehler then falls back, the creases of her knees landing on Daniel’s shoulders from behind. She frees her head, falling over completely and now finding herself seated on Ackart’s shoulders in an electric chair drop position.

Mayne: What in the…..how did she…..that was unique.

Katie: Now THAT’S innovation.

Ackart is forced to break the camel clutch and stand up straight, Kitty still seated on his shoulders now punching down into the top of his skull. She seems intent on going for an inverted hurricarana, one that would spike Ackart directly on top of his head. Before she can force him to suffer the anguish of being spiked right on top of his head, Daniel uses his power advantage to shove her off. With hands wedges to her thighs he shoves her up and over his head, causing her to land right in front of him. He then reaches out and hooks her arm, going for what looks to be a half nelson submission hold. However, Max takes Daniel by the belt from behind and pulls him down into a school boy, causing Ackart to send Kitty flipping back crashing across the back of her neck with a half nelson suplex.

Billy: Why has thou forsaken Kitty Buehler?

Katie: I didn’t mean to.

Craven now stands up out of the school boy and flips forward into the jackknife cover on Ackart.

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Daniel kicks out and wraps his arms around Max’s waist in the process. He now bridges himself up to his feet and pushes the full weight of Craven upright as well. The two immediately swing around and reverse positions, with Ackart pinned Max’s chest. He quickly reaches out, hooks Daniel’s leg and then snaps back into the Perfect Plex. He bridges right over the laid out Buehler, his back stretched over her chest, pinning her as well. The fans all stand and look on with surprise over this unique pinning predicament.

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Mayne: He can’t pin them both!

Ackart kicks out and Kitty lifts a shoulder from the canvas. Not only does she kick out but she rolls back, reversing the lateral press into one of her own, hoping to catch Craven completely off guard.

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A diving knee to the temple from a barely coherent Ackart breaks up the pinfall.

Billy: This action is giving my heart palpitations, and it just started.

Steward: Kitty’s doing surprisingly well in there. I have to question whether she really came from the same womb as Katelyn though.

Billy: I want to build a shrine to that womb.

After hitting the leaping knee strike Ackart rolls to his back, trying to shake off the ill effects of that devastating Perfect Plex. Kitty clutches at her skull, writhing from her now pounding headache. Generation Now looks to take advantage as Craven ascends rapidly to his feet and takes Kitty by the hair. He yanks on her locks to force her up to her feet and then slap on a front chancery.

Max quickly snaps back into another Perfect Plex, bridging back into the pin.

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Buehler gets a shoulder up and drops to her side, Craven rolling right along with her, still trapping the head in the front chancery. With the crease of the knee remaining hooked Max lifts Buehler into the air with a second Perfect Plex only to have Kitty slip free, wrap her legs around his neck and snap back into the hurricarana. She ends up seated right across Craven’s chest, both legs hooked for the pinfall.

Mayne: WOW! Quick counter, hurricarana, Kitty about to win!

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Craven launches a shoulder from the canvas, sending Buehler flying forward, right towards a rising Ackart. As she’s launched forward thanks to the forceful kick out, she ducks her head landing on top of it. She quickly nips up out of the headstand and delivers a vicious European Uppercut right to Daniel’s jaw, almost shattering it on impact. He flies back and crashes to the canvas while Buehler stands flexing her bicep in the center of the ring. She receives a powerful reaction from the crowd.

Katie: Look at Kitty just absolutely dominate these two….two….why wasn’t I informed of this?

Kitty’s gesturing is cut short when she makes eye contact with a Porno Lad led contingent of the Five Star Society.

Mayne: HEY! Don’t we get advanced warning about meetings? Or at least get some secret decoder rings?

Katie: I don’t know why this little get together was called and I demand answers.

A winded Buehler continues to eye the smirking Porno Lad as he proceeds down the ramp, closely followed by Jon Rich and Katelyn. Robin Brooks trails behind the loving couple, chatting with Paris Dannon on their way towards the ring. BFG brings up the rear but thanks to his girth he stands out amongst the crowd headed towards the ring.

Mayne: Well their coming towards the ring….wait a minute. Is this some type of surprise birthday party for me? I knew you guys didn’t forget about it.

Katie: To think that any woman would willingly carry you in her womb is truly unsettling.

Billy: I would have preferred if you brought out a clown though.

It doesn’t take very long for the Five Star Society to reach the ring and begin surrounding it. Perhaps the elite stable looking for a bit of retribution against the members of the opposing stables battling within the ring. Porno Lad’s insidious gaze locks on a confused Kitty, who is still requesting some type of explanation for this rude interruption to her match.

Kitty: Why are you here? HUH? Why? I said I didn’t need your help…

The thought amuses Porno Lad, who merely shakes his head and blows her off with a dismissive wave of his palm. This does nothing to placate Kitty, who storms towards the ropes in order to vacate the ring and get a face to face conversation with her husband. As she prepares to slip through the cables however, Craven quickly charges in and hooks her arms from behind. Buehler screams as she is lifted into the air and Craven drops her right across the back of her head and neck with the vertibreaker.

Mayne: NYOOO! Porno Lad just unintentionally caused his girlfriend to be dropped right on top of her head. This couldn’t be what he was planning when the Five Star Society came out here.

Katie: Yeah, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t. DUH’.

At the sight of his spouse being spiked on her head Porno Lad flips out, crying out for Rich to intervene. Jon quickly leaps to the apron and attempts to enter the squared circle only to have Max stand up and cut him off. He rushes in and drills Rich to the face with a running knee strike, knocking him from the apron and sending him crashing to the outside of the ring. Meanwhile, behind his back, Ackart is quickly sliding to an unconscious Kitty’s side, grabbing her arm, folding it over backwards and trapping her in the Anaconda Vice. The crowd squeals as does Kitty, who trashes around desperately trying to save herself. When it becomes obvious that there is no salvation she begins slapping the canvas, tapping out.

Mayne: Wh-wh-whaaaaat!?! Kitty just submitted. She just tapped.

Katie: This hasn’t gone how Ethan had it planned at all.

At this point Porno Lad’s face is as red as an apple, all the blood rushing to the surface of his flesh. He officially flips out, leaping to the apron and ordering the other FSS members to do the same. They begin to climb to the apron just as Ackart breaks the submission, rolls out of the ring and leaps the barricade.

Billy: Ackart wins and now he’s headed for the hills. That opportunistic weasel.

Now the Five Star Society turns their focus to Max, who wisely backs to the ropes, drops down and rolls to the outside. Instead of giving chase Porno Lad drops to Kitty’s side and tries to help her up. Unfortunately for Ethan, his spouse isn’t about to accept his help. She shoves his hands away and grips her neck in agony.

Mayne: The Five Star Society obviously coming out here to help Kitty, but in the end Porno Lad’s awe inspiring presence cost her the victory.

Katie: You can’t blame Porno Lad, nor myself, for being so damned enchanting. Even if it does cause some troubles now and then.

Porno Lad looks oblivious, having no clue why Kitty is so scorned and in refusal of his aid. She rolls away from him, crawling towards one of the turnbuckles and then wedging her spine against it. Her expression indicative of her rage, consumed with anger over PL’s action. Porno Lad looks to placate her while the rest of the Five Star Society remains planted on the apron surrounding this emotionally turbulent moment.

TOO LATE TO APOLOGIZE

Porno Lad: I think an apology is owed…

With microphone in hand a grieving Prankster stomps to the center of the ring, palm outstretched towards Kitty. Her look of anger dissipates, replaced with surprise over PL’s omission of guilt, not use to seeing him be the bigger man.

Porno Lad: That’s right, YOU owe the entire Five Star Society an apology, KITTY!

Buehler gestures to herself in questioning fashion. The crowd unleashes a collective gasp in response.

Porno Lad: Even with us by your side you failed here tonight. No, no, you TAPPED OUT!

His face flushes red yet again even as he tries to calm himself.

Porno Lad: That will not be tolerated in the Five Star Society. No member of our faction is EVER allowed to submit. You hear that, Kitty? It not only makes you look bad, but it makes me look even worse for tolerating failure in the ranks of my society.

Again Kitty tries to defend herself verbally only to have Ethan roar even louder.

Porno Lad: I’m not going to allow failure any longer. The Five Star Society is going to stand for excellence once again. MY group is going to represent the pinnacle of awesomeness. I will lead us to better days yet again. I will take the FSS back to the promise land and it begins here tonight on Riot! when I trim the fat, when I cut the noose wrapped around our throats. As of this moment, after his SELFISH actions last week, Christian Savior is officially kicked out of the Five Star Society.

The boos only grow louder, piercing Porno Lad like they were spears. The number one contender trembles, never having looked so emotional over a crowd’s response in his career.

Porno Lad: SHUT UP!

The order is not followed, obviously.

Porno Lad: And if you’re not careful, KITTY, you’re head will be next on the chopping block…

Buehler’s lip quivers in response to such an outrageous accusation.

Kitty: Bu…..but….but….but YOU cost ME the match….

Porno Lad: NO….no, no, no. We’re not gonna have anymore of that.

He wags a finger in Kitty’s face.

Porno Lad: There will be no more in fighting amongst the ranks of the Five Star Society. We will have unity because I DEMAND it.

Brooks and Rich exchange an awkward glance.

Porno Lad: Now that the poison apple has been plucked from the tree, the Five Star Society will grow riper than ever before. Without Christian standing in the way of our progression we will once again be unstoppable. Now that I’ve freed us of his arrogance, and his disloyalty there will be nothing that stands in our way. So not only am I owed an apology, Kitty, but you need to thank me too, sugar bear….

Kitty’s eyebrow twitches.

Porno Lad: In fact, you AAAAALLL need to thank me.

Instead of wagging his finger it now points to each member of the FSS, all of them shrugging their shoulders.

Porno Lad: You need to thank me for keeping this group from being ripped apart from the inside. You need to thank me for making this society stronger than ever. You need to thank me for holding each of you accountable for your failures so that you can learn from your mistakes, and unlike Christian, you can grow from them.

Katelyn begins clapping, nobody else follows suit. Therefore her claps get slower and all the more awkward.

Porno Lad: And you.....

The direction of his finger turns to the jeering crowd.

Porno Lad: You people need to show me gratitude. Because thanks to me you’ll all witness a Paranoia moment that will blow your minds. A moment that will transcend time. A moment you will NEVER forget. Because at Paranoia, at the biggest blockbuster of the year, I, THE Original Prankster, the TRUE number one contender, will SAVE the World Heavyweight Title. I will make it mean something once again.

Porno Lad looks off into the heavens, truly delusional.

Porno Lad: My Five Star Society will FLOURISH when I have my perfect Paranoia moment.

A truly conniving gleam exists in Porno Lad’s eyes as he cradles the mic with both hands and imagines what it will feel like to finally hold the coveted World Championship in his palms.

Porno Lad: But who is gonna join me, huh, huh?

He overlooks every member of the FSS.

Porno Lad: Which of you DESERVES to remain a part of this society? Let’s find out if there are any other naysayers and trouble makers in our ranks. This is your chance, hmmmm, come on, speak up…

Christian: Ethan, Ethan, Ethan….

Porno Lad’s eyes bulge as they shoot towards the stage. They take in the sight of Christian Savior, standing with Cartel Title over shoulder and microphone wedged in his palm. There is a mixed reaction for the Rising Phoenix, which is shocking given his many heinous actions over the years.

Savior: When are you gonna get it through your skull, kid, the only trouble maker, the only person holding back the Five Star Society, is you.

The crowd pops and Porno Lad flips out in Ric Flair fashion.

Porno Lad: That’s ridiculous. I’m the heart and the brains of this whole….

Christian: Yeah, me, me, me, me, me, that’s all we ever hear outta you, Ethan. It’s all your consumed with, and that’s the problem, that’s the Achilles heel of the Five Star Society.

Porno Lad: Are you comparing me to a foot?

Christian: Your egotism, your delusions, they’re destroying what WE worked so hard to build. Oh, wait, never heard that word before, let me explain what WE means….

Porno Lad: I know what WE is.

Savior: Apparently you don’t, otherwise you wouldn’t constantly accept all the credit for the Five Star Society’s success. Believe it or not, Ethan, this faction hasn’t thrived thanks to you, it’s all been a group effort. You seem to forget that Generals aren’t the ones who fight the war, it’s the soldiers who get down in the trenches.

Porno Lad: What are you babbling about?

Savior: And I think it’s time that these soldiers, no, no, these SLAVES, led a revolt. It’s high time that the members of the FSS began to make their own decisions and stopped blindly following you, even as you lead them over a cliff.

Porno Lad: A cliff? Hahahahahaha, A CLIFF!?! I’ve lead these guys and girls to the TOP of the mountain….

Christian: And if their not careful you’ll trigger the avalanche that buries them. They need to save themselves before it’s too late, before they start to threaten your precious spotlight. They need to follow a new SAVIOR, a new PROPHET. Someone who won’t cut them off at the knees when they’re ready to stand on their own two feet.

Porno Lad: Hahahahaha, like who, you? That’s all you’ve ever done, Christian. Don’t you remember betraying your own brother at Paranoia VI? He obviously hasn’t forgotten.

Savior grins at the mention of pinning Jason at last year’s event.

Christian: Well that was last year, this is now. You’re looking at a different Christian Savior, one that has evolved past petty jealousy. You’re looking at a man who’s realized he doesn’t need to worry about his spot, about being overshadowed. That’s why you, Katelyn Buehler….

Katelyn’s eyes widen.

Savior: Or you, Robin Brooks…

The Black Widow looks puzzled.

Christian: Or even you, BFG.

The big man blushes.

Christian: You all need to join with me before Porno Lad has the chance to cut your throats. Porno Lad is loosing it. He’s loosing control…

Porno Lad: That’s not true, that’s not true, don’t listen to him.

Savior:….get away now while you have the chance. Join with me, join the man who will hold the World Heavyweight Title in the palm of his hand at Paranoia VII.

Savior symbolically opens his hand and puts it out.

Christian: Don’t stand next to a man destined to fall. Stand beside the man who will END him at Paranoia. Stand next to me and let your voice be heard. Don’t let Ethan gag you any longer. Don’t let him steer you down a road you don’t want to take. Join MY….no wait….OUR Society and let your wings spread.

All eyes divert towards the ring, the crowd wondering if any of the Five Star Society members are going to take Christian up on his offer. Porno Lad examines each of their faces closely, trying to figure out who, if any are considering Christian’s proposal. They all look away from Ethan, unable to cease considering their options. Unfortunately for the Rising Phoenix, nobody budges from the Prankster’s side. As a result Porno Lad is reduced to laughter, perhaps overcome with relief.

Porno Lad: See, Christian. They all know who’s truly fit to be their leade….

The microphone is suddenly snatched out of his hand by one Kitty Buehler. She steps right up to his chest, actually backing a stunned Porno Lad up a few steps.

Kitty: You know what Christian….your absolutely right.

With a static burst the mic hits the canvas and Kitty’s palm connects with Porno Lad’s cheek. The fans are rabid at this point, watching Porno Lad who is completely unable to respond. Save for a dropped jaw and sullen eyes, Porno Lad has no reaction to what just transpired. He finally turns back to watch Kitty slip through the ropes and march straight up the ramp, past her FSS comrades and to the side of Christian Savior. The Rising Phoenix, now wearing a chestire grin, cannot help but to throw an arm across Kitty’s shoulders.

Christian: Ethan….a little earlier you referred to me as poison. Well it seems that the only person I’m toxic to, is YOU.

The crowd reacts favorably to this comment. Porno Lad finally begins to feel the sting, rubbing at his swollen cheek.

Savior: And at Paranoia VII, you will have no antidote as this toxin tears through your body and brings you to your knees. And after our match, after you lose, you’ll have nothing; not the title, not your Paranoia moment, and no society to call your own.

Porno Lad still cannot bring himself to lash out.

Christian: Oh, and speaking of poisons. It seems I’ve picked another toxin you can’t recover from. Let me introduce you to your opponent tonight, a man I hand picked. Someone you’ve got to know very well over the past few months….here he is….JACKSON ADAMS!

Surprisingly the crowd reacts favorably, swept up at the premise of a clash between Porno Lad and Jackson Adams. JA’s entrance them rips through the PA system and the Generation Now representative steps through the curtains. He only pauses on the stage to exchange a tense stare with Kitty and Christian. The newly united duo back through the curtains, not allowing themselves to distract Adams from the task at hand. Jackson finally turns towards Porno Lad, the very man he’s been waiting to get his hands on for several months now in a singles contest.

Mayne: What the hell is going on here tonight? Kitty, Porno Lad’s wife, the woman who vowed to honor, cherish and most importantly OBEY her husband, just left him to join Christian Savior’s society?

Katie: This will probably be the first and the last time you ever hear me say this, but Christian has a point.

Billy: Don’t tell me your actually considering siding with him over Porno Lad?

Katie: I don’t know. Depends on who can help my career the most.

Mayne: What am I hearing? I never would have expected such treason-ness comments out of you. Porno Lad needs your support now more than ever. He just lost the love of his life, and now he’s about to face a member of the very group that beat the Five Star Society in hell in a cell.

Steward: I’m conflicted, alright.

Billy: Well hopefully you get over it, because that match is next. Porno Lad forced to face Jackson Adams thanks to Pick Your Poison.

Adams stops at the edge of the ramp where Max Craven greets him. They bump knuckles and Max gives him some last second strategy before entering the ring. Porno Lad still has no response to what just transpired, not even as Adams climbs up the stairs to the apron.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

PICK YOUR POISON MATCH 1

Mayne: We are back LIVE on Riot! and now would be the perfect time to go back to commercial break.

Although the remainder of his Five Star Society remains at ringside, all they can do is watch as Porno Lad is brutalized by stomp after stomp to the sternum. Jackson Adams decimates the very individual he blames for everything that is WRONG with the IWC, from backstage politics to run-ins, hence why he delivers every stomp with more venom than the last.

Billy: Porno Lad still unable to recover from the bombshell that happened right before paying the bills.

“BEFORE THE BREAK” these words cue the fans into the fact that what is being shown is a flashback. One that highlights the surprising slap Kitty delivers right to her husband’s cheek before she storms from the ring and joins a cackling Christian on the stage.

Katie: Kitty joining Christian’s…..society….there might be some copyright infringement lawsuits pending.

Mayne: Well, who owns the rights to the Five Star Society? Oh Goddess, why am I even asking these questions? What’s happened to our society? What’s happened to my entire belief system?

Katie: Calm down! I’m sure this can all be resolved. I just need to figure out….how.

Adams continues to put the boots to an already traumatized Porno Lad. The Prankster just can’t seem to get out of the gates after the earth shattering announcement made by Kitty Buehler just moments ago, where she made a choice that altered the course of the FSS forever.

With his mind heavily weighed by the thoughts of Kitty’s betrayal he fails to block the onslaught of punches and kicks that connect with his body. He stands up only to receive an open hand palm strike across the chest, doubling him over where he winces in pain. Adams takes him by the jaw, lifting up his head and glaring fiercely into his eyes.

Adams: Everything you worked for is crumbling Porno Lad. But where you fall Generation Now will rise.

Adams dives into Porno Lad’s face with a back elbow landing directly to the teeth. Jackson then takes off across the ring and jumps onto the middle rope, leaping off it before twisting back towards the ring. He lands in the center, gets a running start and plows into Porno Lad with a vicious European Uppercut.

Mayne: This is like watching gay porn. It’s disgusting, but I can’t turn away.

Steward: Ummmmm…..yeah. I’m not sure I even need to comment on that.

The incredibly disorientated Prankster nearly tumbles out of the corner while Adams prepares to hit a second running Uppercut. He rushes into the opposite turnbuckle then comes barreling out of it towards his opponent. Adams twists around and drives his bicep directly into the top rope, PL clearing out of the way in the nick of time.

Billy: Finally, a feint glimmer of hope.

Porno Lad charges at his still surprised opponent only to run right into a vicious kick to the face. The stiff strike sends him spiraling across the ring, clutching at his skull. In the process he exposes his spine to Jackson, who quickly takes full advantage of his opponent’s absent mindedness. He swoops in, hooks the creases of the elbows and Ethan around into position for the unprettier.

Shockingly there is no struggle from Porno Lad, not even an attempt at a counter as he is driven down face first into the ring. His skull bounces from the squared circle and he goes flipping over to his back, where any rational opponent would pin him.

Instead Jackson opts to gloat. He gets to his knees and gestures to the unconscious Porno Lad.

Jackson: See? Do you all see now? This is what’s wrong with wrestling. He’s in a title match and he can’t even give me a challenge. PLEASE!

After making his statement Adams falls into the lateral press. Arrogantly Adams wedges a forearm to Porno Lad’s face, not even bothering to hook the leg.

1

2

Porno Lad kicks out to a mixed reaction from the crowd. A frustrated Adams rises to his knees and blows off the referee before falling into the lateral press and this time hooking the leg.

1

Again the Prankster kicks out, this time even faster than the last. Clearly Jackson is growing a tad annoyed by PL’s persistence in spite of being on the side of a loosing effort. Adams reaches his feet and delivers a swift, violent forearm over Ethan’s upper back, knocking him to his knees yet again. He takes the back of PL’s head and throws him towards the ropes, landing throat first against the cables. They keep him propped up as Adams strolls towards his prone prey, putting a knee into the back of his neck and choking him against the ropes.

Mayne: Dammit ref, do something. Can you believe Adams gets up on his soapbox and preaches about the virtues of wrestling a good, clean wrestling match and yet he turns around and breaks every rule in the book?

Katie: Yes, your Goddess can, because wrestling is predicated on nothing more than hypocrisy.

JA grabs the top rope and wedges his feet between PL’s shoulder blades, actually standing on his back. The official starts a five count before Jackson drops down off of his opponent and backs to the center of the ring, explaining his actions. No explanation will suffice, the official on the verge of disqualifying him.

As the argument persists between Adams and the official, the barely conscious Porno Lad finds himself nose to nose with BFG. The big man’s chest heaves as he sees his best friend in such a precarious predicament, but doesn’t know whether he should react, whether he should do anything to help him. This very thought seems to be on the minds of all the FSS members at ringside, each of them questioning where their loyalties stand. They can’t even bring themselves to look into the ring where Porno Lad is being dragged to his feet into Jackson’s clutches.

Adams slaps PL across the temple, and then pie faces him backwards into the ropes. The disheveled Porno Lad ricochets from the cables and throws a fist that is countered with a quick kick to the mid-section, doubling him over. The egotistical Adams steps in and snatches hold of his wrist, shooting PL off into the far cables.

Porno Lad ricochets from the ropes and comes back in at Adams who rushes forward to behead him with a lariat. However, Porno Lad ducks the inbound bicep and charges into the cables behind him, springing to the middle rope. He flies into a back elbow only to have Adams clear out of the way. As a result Porno Lad falls to the canvas across his back and rolls in reverse, right to his feet.

He just gets up when Adams comes charging in and almost beheads the Original Prankster with a vicious lariat.

Mayne: This couldn’t be going any worse for Porno Lad if he were forced to stick his head in Sally Struthers’s anus.

Katie: Thanks for that nightmarish visual.

Jackson continues to kneel and chuckle to himself. He doesn’t even bother to go for the cover, toying with the man who has plagued him for quite some time, the man who stole his X-Class Title, the man who gave him Epic Fail after Epic Fail. Now it’s Jackson who is playing games with PL. Porno Lad rolls into the ropes and throws his arm over the middle one, vacantly staring through the ropes at Katelyn.

Porno Lad: Why aren’t you doing something?

She turns away, unable to make eye contact with a now fuming Porno Lad. He drags himself up the ropes mumbling obscenities beneath his breath, irate over this dissension in the ranks of his precious society. His rage leaves him blind to Jackson’s next attack. He has no time to react as he’s shoved into the ropes and sent ricocheting spine first into a headbunt from Adams to the kidneys.

Porno Lad’s back bows as a result of the blow, but his spinal column has yet to suffer the full wrath of Adams. He shoves him forward into the cables and upon backing up receives another headbunt to the kidneys. But wait, this time Porno Lad actually flips back over Jackson’s shoulders and lands on his feet behind him.

He now leaps into the air and drills Adams to the back of the head with his heel. The kick has Jackson rushing into the ropes this time, twisting as he ricochets from the cables. Porno Lad preemptively leaps into the air to catch him with a hurricarana only to have Adams hook the top rope with his elbow and keep from being launched into his rival.

As a result Porno Lad falls back to his feet and finds himself at the mercy of the Gen Now representative. Adams takes a step with fist cocked only to find his leg caught on something. He begins to stumble as a result of Katelyn grabbing his ankle and tripping him up right into a big hurricarana from the Original Prankster. Adams is flipped over and spiked on his upper spine with Porno Lad sitting on his chest, hooking the creases of his knees.

Mayne: Yes, hahahaha, the Five Star Society finally coming to its senses, beginning to show some signs of unity.

Katie: I told you I’d work it all.

Mayne: But you’ve sat here and done nothing.

Katie: So you say. Sometimes silence can move mountains.

Mayne: How?

Steward: Since when are you allowed to start questioning me?

Porno Lad is seemingly on the verge of avenging Kitty’s betrayal by defeating Christian’s hand picked opponent for this match.

1

2

Jackson not only kicks out but grabs the legs of Porno Lad that were wrapped around his neck in the process. As PL falls to his chest, Adams steps over his back, lifting the legs up and tucking them under his armpits. The crowd begins to scream as Jackson attempts to lock in the dreaded liontamer.

Billy: How the hell did he reverse into this? Someone explain to me what dimensional warp Adams exploited to get this type of advantage? Is he secretly a wizard?

Adams tries to turn Porno Lad over to his chest in order to complete this shocking counter only to have his stubborn opponent continue to struggle. Eventually Porno Lad rolls to his side and sends Adams flipping over as he tries to keep hold of the legs. He crashes across his back and then rises to his knees in the process of falling into the ropes.

He employs the cables to quickly reach his feet when he sees a set of hands reaching out for his foot. He stomps down at the knuckles of Robin Brooks, prompting her to leap back, palms raised. The distraction allows Porno Lad to rush in behind Adams and wrap his arms around the Gen Now member’s waist. He falls back, pulling Jackson down into a reverse roll where he ends up seated across the back of Adams’ thighs, folding him up like an accordion.

1

2

Adams kicks out and in the process reaches out grabbing hold of Porno Lad’s ankle. He falls to his stomach with Jackson standing up behind him, twisting and ripping at the leg with the ankle lock.

Mayne: How the hell did he counter again!?! Into another submission?

Porno Lad is already lifting his palm above the canvas, perhaps questioning why he should even keep fighting with his whole world crumbling around him.

Mayne: Don’t tap Porno Lad, please, please, PLEASE don’t tap.

Just as it seems that PL is on the verge of giving in, palm seconds from slapping the canvas in submission he shocks even himself. He ducks his head and rolls forward, sending Adams flying over his body and threw the ropes as a result.

Mayne: Yes, he countered, and he just fed Adams to the wolves in the process.

Jackson finally ends up outside of the ring where he blocks an attempted punch by the very man who pulled him out, Jon Rich. He then eats Jackson’s fist for his troubles, putting him straight on his ass. Adams shakes his fist and then slides back into the ring to avoid the rest of the Five Star Society.

Mayne: Man, this really isn’t good, the Five Star Society just unable to come together for the good of their team..

Katie: Just when I was getting comfortable in my seat.

Mayne: You mean to tell me you’ll actually get up and help this time?

Katie: I if I feel up for it, which I’ve just decided I’m not.

Mayne: Oh.

At this point Robin, Rich and BFG are in the midst of an argument, one loud enough to draw Porno Lad’s attention. He acknowledges this unsettling situation, making him unaware of his waiting opponent. Adams steps in behind him and grabs his arms, perhaps setting up for the unprettier. However, PL slides down his chest, drops to his back and wraps his legs around Christian’s waist. He then pulls him down into a forward roll up, sitting on his chest.

1

2

Adams kicks out, knocking Porno Lad into a backwards roll. He ends up on his feet at the same time as Adams, who rushes in for a lariat only for the Original Prankster to drop into a baseball slide through Jackson’s legs. Adams’ momentum carries him forward into the ropes, which he jumps over. BFG rushes in to grab him only to be kicked to the chest and knocked away. Jackson then leaps to the top rope, springs off and comes down onto an unsuspecting Porno Lad with a double axehandle to the skull. PL is knocked to the canvas, clutching at his cranium and grimacing in pain.

He rolls to his knees and falls into the ropes just in time to look up and spot his fellow FSS members throwing their arms into the air in frustration. Jon Rich grabs Katelyn by the wrist and begins to lead her to the backstage area, having enough of this, tired of being made to resemble a fool and fed up with all the bickering. Eventually the Brat Pack begins to follow, as does BFG.

Mayne: Wait, where are they going? Where is the Five Star Society GOING!?!

Katie: Get back here!

Mayne: This is just no good at all. The FSS is imploding before our very eyes.

Steward: I said I’ll fix this and I will.

Jackson waves “goodbye” to the departing FSS members while Porno Lad leans through the ropes, shouting after them.

Porno Lad: Where do you think your going!?! Come back here God dammit! Come back here NOW!

Clearly the likes of Brooks, Dannon and Buehler are just too conflicted, unable to determine who their alliances rest with. Therefore they throw their arms up in the air and just walk away to clear their heads. This doesn’t sit well with Porno lad whatsoever, who is now shaking the ropes in the midst of a violent tantrum.

Porno Lad: COME BACK!

With the FSS gone from ringside there is nothing standing between Adams and Porno Lad. He steps up behind PL and grabs him by the shoulder, spinning Porno Lad around into a wild right hand to the jaw, followed by a chop across the sternum. Porno Lad falls back against the cables and then is grabbed by the wrist and shot off across the ring. Porno Lad rushes into the ropes yet leaps into the air, landing on the second one and then springing off. He twists right into a crossbody that misses it’s mark entirely. Adams steps out of the way, causing Porno Lad to catch nothing but air and to eventually hit the canvas.

He smacks into the ring hard, rolling to his back and clutching at his banged up ribs. Adams steps in to take advantage just when Porno Lad’s legs kick up into the air and wrap around his neck. Adams has only a second to respond but he does so smartly. He wedges his hands to the creases of Porno Lad’s knees and pushes them back, sending Ethan rolling to his feet.

He stands up just as Jackson takes him by the wrist and whips him across the ring. Porno Lad has only seconds to react before he hits the ropes. Therefore he leaps forward, lands on the ropes, springs off and twists around into yet another crossbody.

He connects across Jackson’s chest, knocking him to the canvas. But this time Jackson rolls over backwards, stretched across Porno Lad’s sternum and hooking his leg.

Mayne: NO! He reversed the crossbody into a roll through!

1

2

Porno Lad kicks out, the crowd squealing as Jackson came within seconds of pinning the Original Prankster. He quickly stands up and grabs hold of Porno Lad’s leg, lifting it up, looking to be setting for the Boston Crab. That’s when Porno Lad lifts his foot and drives into Jackson’s stomach, doubling him over. He then nips up from his back, wraps his legs around Jackson’s throat and snaps him over with a head scissors.

Jackson rolls forward across the canvas and sends up on his seat just as Porno Lad rushes into the ropes in front of him and ricochets off. He now comes back in at Adams, dropping down into a spinning heel kick with both legs connecting across Jackson’s chest. Adams falls to his back and Porno Lad rolls to his feet before leaping Adams, leaping to the middle rope and then springing back into a moonsault. He crashes right across Jackson’s sternum then falls forward into the cover.

1

2

Jackson kicks out, leading to an explosive reaction from the crowd.

Mayne: Another near pinfall by Porno Lad in what has been a great back and forth match thus far.

Porno Lad is growing impatient and flabbergasted. He runs his hands over his face and then rushes at the ropes, leaping to the middle one yet again. He backsprings into a moonsault only to have Jackson get his knees up this time. Porno Lad crashes ribs first right into them and then rolls to his back, perfectly prone for a winded Adams. Unfortunately for Jackson he’s unable to follow up on his brilliant counter. This allows Porno Lad a back door out of the match. He rolls under the ropes and crashes to the mats where he begins searching for something under the ring. What he retrieves happens to be a steel chair.

Mayne: Wait a minute now Porno Lad, don’t you do it, don’t you risk being disqualified and HANDING Generation Now another victory.

Adams is in the process of using the referee’s jersey to drag himself to his feet. He almost looses his balance a few times but ultimately does stand in the process yanking the referee down and out of position falls to his knees while behind his back Porno Lad rushes forward, swinging the chair at Jackson’s head. Just before it can connect with his skull Jackson catches the chair and then delivers a boot right to Porno Lad’s ribs.

The Original Prankster leaps back and puts his palms out, begging for mercy as Jackson lifts the chair into the air.

Mayne: Oooh no. Now Adams has got the chair and he’s got bad intentions for Porno Lad.

PL spots the referee turning around so he quickly leaps to his back and begins thrashing around, covering his face with both palms.

Billy: What happened, did he get something in his eye?

Jackson is just as complex at the sight of Porno Lad rolling around as if he were in horrid pain. That’s when the referee turns around, spots the chair in Jackson’s hand, then sees Porno Lad clutching his face, provoking him to call for the bell.

Mayne: Wait, he just…..Porno Lad just….hahahaha, BRILLIANT. He pulled a Guerrero tonight. He just Jackson Adams disqualified.

Adams looks down at Porno Lad then at the chair in his hands before throwing it across the ring. He holds his palms up, pleading with the referee, insisting that he didn’t actually use the weapon, unfortunately for him the referee isn’t buying it. He continues to call for the bell, which infuriates Adams to the point of tearing the ring apart. He settles for Porno Lad, storming after the victor who wisely rolls out of the ring. PL jumps the barricade, putting the barrier between himself and an outraged, red hot Adams.

Katie: Porno Lad doing what he does best, manipulating his way to victory. I could definitely see the benefits of staying with him.

Mayne: Yes, but Christian offers some interesting incentives as well.

Jackson’s eyes lock on the conniving Prankster, who is still emotionally distraught as he backs through the crowd.

Adams’ gaze is misplaced, well better put to keeping an eye behind his back. Now lurking behind him is a man who needs no introduction. Crouched with hands on knees is the Icon himself, the brother of the former World Champion, Shaun Cruze.

Mayne: HEY! It’s Cruze, it’s Shaun Cruze!

Jackson looks up in time to see the FSS and his Generation Now cohorts battling through the crowd towards the backstage area, leaving him all alone with the Icon. He finally turns around, gets caught across the chest and heaved into the Rock Bottom.

Mayne: Ohhhh-ho-ho, Shaun going for his brother’s trademark move, no wait, Adams escaped…

Just as he’s raised into the air Adams is able to squirm out of Shaun’s clutches and scurry from the ring. Cruze gives pursuit yet Adams is able to evade him, rolling under the ropes to the outside before further damage could be inflicted.

Katie: Thankfully for Jackson, and believe me, with a mug like his he doesn’t have very much to be thankful for, Shaun is just as slow and predictable as his brothe…..

Mayne: Wait a minute….

Steward: What have I told you about cutting me off before?

Billy: That sneaky son of a bitch.

The smack talking Adams backs up the ramp completely unaware that another enemy now lurks behind him. Before he realizes what is happening, Orlando Cruze is grabbing him by the tights and the back of the head, charging him towards the ring and then rolling him in under the ropes.

Mayne: Orlando throwing Adams back into the lion’s den.

Jackson rolls across the canvas and leaps to his feet, glaring furiously at Orlando who remains outside of the ring. The former three time World Champion smirks, a sight that Jackson finds truly unsettling it. The image of Cruze’s grin provokes Adams to spin around and get caught right across the sternum. This time there is no escape as Shaun hoists him up into the air and delivers the Rock Bottom to a piercing roar of approval from the crowd.

Mayne: Now he really does get the Rock Bottom! Better late than never.

Katie: Believe me, with the Cruze’s, it’s always going to come late or not at all.

Jackson clutches at his kidneys and rolls across the canvas to his stomach. It’s at this point that Shaun drops down, grabs his arm, sticks it between his knees then interlocks his hands under Jackson’s chin. Orlando slips into the ring and crouches down over Adams, shouting into his face.

Orlando: You still want me in the ring now, huh, huh?

Cruze overlooks the fans who are chanting his name.

Orlando: Well you may just get what you want after all. But believe me, Jackson, you’re gonna find out that you’ve bitten off more than you can chew.

The Submission Champion furiously slaps the canvas, tapping out to the crossface which Shaun applies tighter and tighter. After Adams gives up Cruze breaks the hold and rolls to a knee, watching Jackson writhe in agony. The Generation Now member rolls across the canvas gripping at his shoulder and eventually gets kicked from the ring by Orlando.

Mayne: The Cruze brothers clearing Adams from the ring, and I might be mistaken, but did Orlando just accept Jackson’s challenge for Paranoia VII?

Katie: Like I care?

Billy: Is it official? Or was this all just part of an elaborate message the Cruze brothers wanted to send to Adams and Generation Now.

Adams spills to the mats across his back, gripping at his shoulder which may have been torn out of socket. Meanwhile the crowd is given a truly gratifying visual as Orlando steps to the center of the ring, standing side by side with his brother, the two of them lifting their fists high above their heads. The symbolic taunt is well received by the masses.

Billy: Orlando and Shaun Cruze making a statement here tonight on the eve of Paranoia VII.

The sold out crowd continues to give the pear a standing ovation.

TWINKLE, TWINKLE LITTLE STARR

Zero: Where is he?

The very technician who was bribed by Robin Brooks last week is thrown against the side of the production truck. He turns to jello in the hands of the IWC World Champion, now on the verge of blubbering like a child. Kassie watches on, approvingly while holding the title over her shoulder.

Tech Guy: I….I….I don’t….

Jason: Where is Jake Starr?

Again he’s thrust forcefully into the side of the truck.

Tech Guy: Please…

Zero: How much did he pay you? How much did it take to abandon your principles?

There is no response from the nearly sobbing stagehand.

Jason: Tell me where Jake Starr is and maybe, just maybe I’ll be kind enough to give you a free pass, just this once. UNDERSTAND!?!

His shirt is squeezed tightly in Jason’s palms so that he can be pulled closer to the menacing features of the champion.

Tech Guy: Yes, yes, I understand. I’ll tell you whatever you want to know.

Zero: All I want is a location. Where did he pay you off?

Tech Guy: Outside of the loading bay doors.

The helpless technician is thrown into the side of the truck, his body ricocheting off and collapsing to the concrete.

Jason: Let’s go.

Zero takes Kassie by the hand and leads her away, the two in search of Starr. The technician responsible for airing the footage earlier in the night sits on the pavement trembling, a puddle forming under his seat.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Cock-a-doodle-doodie

TOO MAGNIFICENT VS. AWOL
STREET FIGHT

I HOPE YOUR SATISFIED!

An implosion of mushroom clouds shoot through the stage. This bright flash illuminates the brooding face of the Big Crazy Bastard as he storms through the curtains, fixing his elbow pad and wrist tape in the process. He goes through his last second preparations in the midst of descending upon the ring where hell no doubt awaits. Where he will face the wrath of Too Magnificent, his former cohort, the very man he sent plummeting through the roof of the cell last week. Remembering what he did to Too Magnificent bothers him not, nor does the knowledge that he’ll be facing the Golden Goliath in what should be a barbaric street fight.

Mayne: And now we come to arguably the best part of the show, when the Motherfuckin Empire finally collapses once and for all.

Katie: Yes, although we saw the issues between the Five Star Society moments ago, we know they can patch things up and we’ll all get back on the same page. That isn’t going to happen with these nincompoops.

Mayne: Hey, you stole my word.

AWOL steps to the apron and through the ropes, wasting absolutely no time pandering to the masses. He doesn’t even bother looking in their general direction, his eyes staring past them, mind elsewhere.

That’s when Too Magnificent’s entrance lyrics hit the PA system and leads to a thunderclap of cheers from the crowd. They find themselves immediately gratified once Too Magnificent stomps through the curtains, pushing a grocery cart full of weapons towards the ring.

Mayne: As if there’s not already enough weapons under and around the ring, Too Magnificent has to bring his own.

Katie: Guess someone took a trip to Home Depot, which has to be like visiting a pornography store for guys like Too....Too…..TOO…no, good Goddess, the whole rift between the FSS has left me incapable of insulting his name.

Mayne: It’s profoundly affecting us all. I don’t even think I could get a bit bone….no, wait, forget that.

Too Magnificent continues to push the cart down the ramp, which is filled with a plethora of goodies, ranging from trashcan lids to baseball bats to panes of glass. The cart also assists in keeping the Magnificent One upright, still suffering the aftermath of that deadly chokeslam through the roof of Hell in a Cell. Bandages wrap around his mid-section, serving as a target for the Big Crazy Bastard. Before the cameras can capture the chaos about to unfold they switch to the backstage area where Simon Cagero can be seen watching a monitor. The controversial Cagero’s eyes are drawn to every image that the screen provides.

Billy: Too Magnificent competing here tonight in spite of his many, MANY injuries. Perhaps he’s doing this on behalf of his tag team partner as well, Simon Cagero, who we see watching backstage. Let’s not forget the brain scrambling chair shot he took last week.

Katie: I’m sure it didn’t have that much of an affect on his head, I mean, his brain had to have been damaged already if he’s teaming alongside Too Mundane. Haha, there we go, things getting back to normal.

The focus of the show returns to the ring where Too Magnificent has taken a trashcan out of the cart and is throwing it over the ropes straight at AWOL in the ring. The Big Crazy Bastard swipes the can out of the air before it could connect with his skull and then storms towards the ropes. He drops down, rolling under the cables and coming straight after his former ally. The injured Too Magnificent catches his friend turned rival with a baseball bat right to the ribs.

AWOL doubles over, grimacing in pain before the bat swings into his upper back. The blow causes AWOL to bow his spine and stumble away from his opponent.

Mayne: Too Magnificent going after AWOL with that baseball bat. He’s wearing him out with it.

Katie: Excellent, the more violence in this match the less we’ll have to deal with either AWOL or Too Deluded. Let them annihilate each other for our viewing pleasure. Although, truth be told, I won’t get very much pleasure out of this at all.

AWOL and falls into the barricade, utilizing it for support as Too Magnificent approaches with another weapon in hand. He does not hesitate to swing the trashcan lid forcefully into AWOL’s skull, the sound of steel connecting with flesh echoing throughout the building.

The stiff strike reverberates throughout AWOL’s body and would send a normal man crashing to the floor, yet somehow he remains upright, just long enough to receive a second shot from the trashcan lid. AWOL’s eyes roll to the back of his head yet he keeps both feet planted to the mats, back propped up against the barrier.

Too Magnificent looks to correct this, stepping in and swinging the trashcan lid directly into AWOL’s skull with even more force than before. This devastating strike is finally enough to take the Big Crazy Bastard’s legs out from under him. He tumbles to his seat, spine propped against the barrier.

Steward: Yes, more of this please, more unprotected shots to the head.

The Big Crazy Bastard is still propped back first against the barrier, but he is no longer capable of standing. He looks barely coherent, already suffering some significant head trauma, and Too Magnificent is just getting started. The Golden Goliath approaches the grocery cart and takes the handle. With a primal roar he gets a running start, pushing the cart with as much momentum as he can muster right into AWOL’s face.

Mayne: OUCH!

AWOL’s head is squished between both the cart and the barricade, causing him to convulse and clutch at his possibly fractured facial features.

Katie: Good, very good.

Billy: AWOL’s head may have just been popped like a pimple.

The grimacing fans can’t bring themselves to look away as the cart is pulled back from AWOL’s now mangled face. He clutches at his skull, head throbbing at this point while Too Magnificent steps in to once again seize the advantage. He grabs AWOL around the cranium and begins forcing him up to his feet. Once he has his opponent upright Too Magnificent steps back and lunges forward into a pump kick that connects right against the jaw.

The stiff knick knocks AWOL over the barrier and into the crowd of screaming, jovial fans.

Mayne: Devastating pump kick. Fortunately this match doesn’t look like it’s going to last for very long.

Steward: Thank…..ME, for such small miracles.

The fans are 100% behind Too Magnificent at this point, who is putting AWOL through the ringer in spite of his many physical limitations. He doesn’t spend much time showboating, now opting to reach into the bevy of weapons contained in his grocery cart. A hockey stick is now retracted and extended across Too Magnificent’s palms as he approaches a still struggling AWOL.

The Big Crazy Bastard stands up in the crowd with the use of several chairs to prop himself up. He grabs hold of one of them and lifts the steel above his head, turning to employ it as a weapon. Before he can swing it into Too Magnificent’s skull he receives a vicious shot from the hockey stick right in the abdomen. The blow doubles him over, forcing him to drop the chair and clutch at his mid-section once again.

Too Magnificent steps over the barrier and to the side of his addled adversary, slowly lifting the hockey stick above his head. He then swings it down into his opponent’s spine only to have AWOL step out of the way. The cane slaps the cement floor as a result and shatters a result.

Mayne: Ohhh, how nice. One lucky fan here in Illinois is gonna take home a piece of splintered wood. They’ll just have to have their doctors remove it later so they can frame it above their mantles as a true keepsake.

Unfortunately the stick is broken into shards, however, fortunately for Too Magnificent, he happens to be holding one of said shards. He holds the broken handle, that has now been fashioned into a sharp point, one that he intends on using to bloody the Big Crazy Bastard. AWOL is leaning chest first against the barricade, panting heavily, trying to recover from the vicious onslaught his former partner has put on him.

He has no idea what’s waiting for him before it’s too late. His jaw is grabbed, his head retracted and the sharpened edge of the hockey stick handle is dug into his forehead, ripping and tearing the flesh.

Mayne: Ohhh, Too Magnificent is stabbing AWOL with that shard. Me loves it. Me loves it long time.

Too Magnificent stops grinding the jagged edge into AWOL’s forehead and now jabs it into his flesh. The crowd is reacting with praise for the Magnificent One as he steps back holding the broken handle above his head. They continue to show their support as he rushes forward, intent on driving the hockey stick into AWOL’s face for a second time only to be back dropped over the barricade. Making matters all the worse for Too Magnificent is his landing zone, falling directly into the grocery cart, where he’s impaled on the numerous weapons contained within.

Mayne: Ah-hahaha-wonderful.

The wheels of the grocery cart give out and it goes tumbling over sideways, bringing Too Magnificent down along for the ride. He crashes into the mats and rolls across then, gripping at his taped up spine and roaring in pain. The crowd has started a loud holy shit chant as a result of what they just witnessed.

Too Magnificent rolls across the mats, body consumed with pain, unaware that AWOL is looking to seize the advantage. Although banged up himself and sporting a bright shinny new laceration on his forehead, AWOL climbs over the barrier and quickly goes to work. He shambles towards a slowly rising Too Magnificent and then bashes him over the back with a steel chair.

The shot from the steel nearly cracks Too Magnificent’s spine and sends him spiraling into the corner of two converging barricades. AWOL quickly sets up the chair he just employed as a weapon, positioning it in the corner then seating Too Magnificent upon it. He quickly delivers a knife edge chop across the throttled Too Magnificent’s sternum and follows it up with a swift punch right to the temple.

The crowd groans once they realize what AWOL is setting up for here.

Mayne: Could it be? Could we be on the verge of seeing the face wash?

Katie: Do I detect enthusiasm in your voice?

Mayne: I get excited when anything bad is about to happen to Too Magnificent. I just can’t help it.

The shaken Too Magnificent teeters back and forth on the chair as AWOL turns to get a running start for the vicious Ole kick. He begins to rush forward and drive his heel across Too Magnificent’s face only to stop in mid move. The Big Crazy Bastard hesitates for some unknown reason. However, his motives become far clearer when he approaches the grocery cart, stands it up and places it in front of Too Magnificent’s face.

Billy: What….is he doing?

AWOL now backs away from his prone opponent and gets a running start, building as much momentum as possible behind the face wash. He drives his boot into the grocery cart which in turn forces it right into Too Magnificent’s face. The crowd reacts with squeals as Too Magnificent’s head is sandwiched between the barrier and the cart.

Mayne: VICIOUS!

Katie: They should give the grocery cart a raise. It’s done more work than anyone in this match. Plus it’s shown a lot more personality.

AWOL retracts his foot from the broken grocery cart and watches as Too Magnificent slides out of the chair to the floor. He looks completely incoherent at this point, showing absolutely no cognitive brain function. AWOL takes advantage of the human vegetable by lifting the cart into the air and throwing it down right into Too Magnificent’s upper back.

The steel bounces from his spine and causes the big man to unleash a roar of sheer anguish. He scoots across his knees, his body instinctively trying to create some space between himself and his rival.

AWOL doesn’t let him go far before snatching hold of his hair and dragging him up to his feet. Finally, for the first time in this match, the battle enters the ring. Too Magnificent is rolled into the squared circle, still clutching at his taped up mid-section with AWOL following closely behind. The Big Crazy Bastard climbs to the apron and moves across to the turnbuckle, beginning to scale to the top rope.

Mayne: Where the hell is this stupid son of a bitch going? Pin the man already, you have him beat.

Katie: I don’t think AWOL remembers how to actually pin someone, considering that he hasn’t had a clean victory in ages.

AWOL continues to ascend the turnbuckle, perhaps on the verge of delivering his rarely seen awesome splash from the top rope. Whatever he was setting up for becomes moot the moment he sees Too Magnificent starting to stand up, provoking the former World Champion to drop from the turnbuckle. He stomps towards Too Mag, spins him around and then delivers a vicious short arm lariat that puts him to the canvas.

AWOL keeps hold of Too Magnificent’s wrist in order to drag him back to his feet and lock in a front chancery. He now heaves Too Magnificent up into the air, forcing him to hang upside down in a suspended state before delivering a running vertical suplex.

Too Magnificent’s spine hits the canvas with enough force to shake the entire ring. A clearly perturbed AWOL reaches his feet and puts them to use, stepping towards the turnbuckle yet again. He slips through the ropes to the apron and begins to scale the corner only to stop upon reaching the top rope. A flabbergasted AWOL grimaces at the sight of Too Magnificent once again trying to stand up.

As a result AWOL drops from the corner and storms towards his persistent opponent, snatching him by the hair. He pulls Too Magnificent’s head back then charges him face first into the top turnbuckle pad. His brain is scrambled within the confines of a possibly fractured skull. AWOL quickly spins him around and delivers a nasty knife edge chop across his sternum, bursting the capillaries within.

Mayne: That may have popped a few blood vessels.

Katie: Oh, internal bleeding, brilliant, absolutely perfect. That’s the worse type of bleeding there is, you know.

AWOL now pops Too Magnificent under the jaw with a straight right hand. He makes no bones about using his closed fist to now deliver punch after punch after punch, rapid fire strikes nailing Too Magnificent in the head repetitively. Official Fitzpatrick implores AWOL to stop, begging him to relent in this vicious attack. Unfortunately all the referee can do is plead considering he’s powerless to do absolutely anything else.

Finally the Big Crazy Bastard lunges skull first into Too Magnificent’s face, delivering a disfiguring headbunt to his cranium. AWOL now steps back and prepares for another headbutt with the referee yapping away in his ear. This clearly frustrates AWOL, who reaches out and slaps his hand around the official’s throat.

Billy: AWOL’s gonna put another referee in the hospital.

He is just about to chokeslam Fitzpatrick through the ring when Too Magnificent delivers a big boot right to his elbow. AWOL’s grip is broken as he turns away from Fitzpatrick, doubled over and gripping at his bicep. His whole face goes red as he twits towards Too Magnificent, who’s boot travels straight for his face. AWOL ducks the pump kick, causing Too Mag’s foot to meet nothing but air. He staggers forward, turns around and rushes right into AWOL’s clutches, receiving a sickening spinning powerslam that puts him down hard against the canvas.

AWOL rises to a knee, glaring at the warped, mangled individual lying beneath him.

AWOL: That will be the last time you get in my way again.

The brooding behemoth desires nothing more than to deliver the fatal death blow, to drive the final nail into the coffin of Motherfuckin’ Empire. He slips through the ropes to the apron and scales the nearest turnbuckle for a third time, hoping this will be the last.

Mayne: He’s going up top again.

Steward: I think I’ve already mentioned about a thousand times just how predictable this show and it’s athletes can be. I think AWOL has used up his entire arsenal of moves already.

AWOL continues to climb until he reaches the very top and prepares to come crashing down onto his prone opposition. He balances himself but takes a bit too long stabilizing his feet, exposing him to the wrath of his opponent. This time AWOL doesn’t have the chance to drop down and put Too Mag back on the canvas. The big man steps in and grabs AWOL by the wrist, and before he can respond he yanks the former World Champion down onto his shoulders.

Billy: What is he doing?

Too Magnificent rushes across the ring and yanks AWOL over into the death valley driver. The Big Crazy Bastard slams forcefully into the canvas across the back of his neck, wincing from the pain.

Mayne: I think that may be the first time AWOL has ever been mustered up into the air for a DVD.

Katie: He seriously needs to purchase a copy of Goddess Fitness, my new workout instructional DVD.

Billy: I’m already getting an erection at the mere thought of such a product.

Katie: Yes, he can shed all that unnecessary blubber and then people wouldn’t have such a hard time throwing him around.

Too Magnificent continues to wince and grind his teeth to push past the pain. In spite of the fact that he should be crippled Too Magnificent throws himself over AWOL’s sternum.

1

2

AWOL’s shows just how much of a glutton for punishment he is by kicking out, keeping this barbaric bout going.

An addled Too Magnificent rolls away from his opponent and exerts all remaining strength to reach his feet. That’s when he finds inspiration, spotting his muse, the steel trashcan he tossed at AWOL to start the match.

Mayne: Ohhh wonderful, he’s got that trashcan. Now’s my chance to film that fetish video I’ve been planning.

Too Magnificent almost looses his balance but reaches the trashcan, lifting it to his chest. Once he spots AWOL on his knees Too Magnificent flips out, rushing forward with the trashcan held high above his head. AWOL suddenly delivers a right hand to Too Magnificent’s taped up ribs though, causing him to back away grimacing in pain.

With Too Magnificent in a prone state AWOL rushes to his feet to take advantage. He now charges straight at the Golden Goliath only to be caught against his shoulder, hoisted into the air and then driven down on top of the trashcan with a spinebuster.

Billy: YAH, that looked….painful.

Katie: No where near as torturous as your dialogue.

AWOL arches his back from the canvas but it isn’t enough to keep his shoulders off the ring. Too Magnificent crawls over him, hooking both legs for yet another pinfall attempt.

1

2

Victory is dashed by AWOL’s surprisingly kick out.

Mayne: Is there nothing, save for a bullet to the brainpan that will keep AWOL down?

This same question is racing through Too Magnificent’s skull. He sits staring vacantly, debating just how far he’s willing to take this. Finally he uses up his remaining reserves of energy to stand and take the mangled trashcan into his hands once again.

AWOL has gotten to a knee but is sent right back to his spine when Too Magnificent wraps the trashcan around his head. The former World Champion hits the canvas and rolls across it to his knees, yet again trying to stand up. He gets one knee beneath him before Too Magnificent rushes in and drives the trashcan over his head for a second bone jingling blow.

Billy: Two shots from the trashcan and AWOL is STILL trying to get up. He must have been born with no pain receptors.

Katie: Or no brain whatsoever.

Mayne: Let’s lean towards the latter of two options.

Once again Too Magnificent finds himself traumatized by the image of AWOL getting to a knee, trying to stand up. He storms in and swings the trashcan into the Big Crazy skull, putting the monster down, this time for a mere fraction of a second. AWOL rolls right to his feet and steps directly into Too Magnificent’s face, pointing to the blood trickling down his forehead, wild eyed and shouting ferociously.

AWOL: Your gonna have to do better than that. I hit Simon way harder last week.

Too Magnificent pulls back the trashcan and slams it with all the strength he can muster from his injured body over AWOL’s skull. The collision is enough to send AWOL’s eyes rolling into the back of his head as he stumbles and staggers, desperately trying to remain upright.

All AWOL’s persistence does is further enrage Too Magnificent, who charges into the ropes to build some more momentum. He ricochets from the cables and comes rushing right into the clutches of the Big Crazy Bastard. AWOL catches him around the thigh and the neck then drops back, delivering a T-Bone suplex that plants his opponent with bone breaking force against the canvas.

The Big Crazy Bastard then rises to his feet giving the crowd the most menacing, hair raising of glares. What he doesn’t know is that Too Magnificent has rolled straight to his feet behind him and now stands with every muscle in his body tensing.

Mayne: He’s a FREAK!

Katie: This is just now dawning on you?

AWOL finally turns around to reveal his fate, walking right into Too Magnificent’s open palm. He now takes AWOL by the pants, hoists him up and chokeslams him down into the canvas. The turnbuckles nearly burst and the whole ring threatens to come crashing down after this forceful, career shortening move from the Golden Goliath.

Unfortunately Too Magnificent doesn’t have the wherewithal to go for the cover. His short adrenaline burst is just that, short. He goes stumbling into the ropes, leaning against them with chest heaving and sweat trickling down his wounded body.

Mayne: Awww, Too Magnificent’s weak, meek little body can’t take all the punishment it’s endured over the past few weeks.

Steward: As if getting chokeslammed through a cell roof is such a big deal. That type of thing happens every week around here.

It takes him a while but Too Magnificent is finally able to step away from the ropes, his badly banged up body approaching the ropes. The Magnificent One goes twisting through them to the outside before descending upon the grocery cart.

Billy: Not that thing again.

Too Magnificent lifts up the cart and slides it in under the ring before rolling in himself. There is still one weapon left inside, a Singapore cane. He grabs hold of it and then quickly swings the staff right into AWOL’s upper back. The Big Crazy Bastard arches his spine and scoots away from the aggressor on his knees.

The sound of the stiff shot from the cane echoes throughout the arena and throughout AWOL’s body. Nevertheless he tries to get up when Too Magnificent steps in and slaps the cane into the back of his knee this time. The strike knocks AWOL’s legs out from under him, putting the Big Crazy Bastard on his back.

Mayne: Now Too Magnificent is working him over with the cane. He’s doing a pretty good job too.

Katie: He’s missed a few spots actually.

Too Magnificent throws the cane down right alongside the warped, mangled trashcan. His attention deviates to the grocery cart that has proven to be such a valuable asset throughout this match. He turns it over onto its front so that the wheels are facing up into the air. The grocery cart naturally slants over the canvas, turned completely upside down. With the trap set all he needs to do now is lure AWOL in.

This doesn’t prove to be that much trouble given AWOL’s highly disorientated condition. He comes staggering right into a kick to the gut before being placed in a front chancery. Too Magnificent swipes his arm through the air and sets for the Midas Touch.

Mayne: Is he serious?

Katie: With hair like that I sincerely hope he’s not.

Billy: He’s gonna give AWOL the Midas Touch through the grocery cart. One of these two really aren’t going to make it out of the ring tonight.

AWOL seems defenseless, on the verge of having his career cut tragically short. Too Magnificent relishes this opportunity, mere moments from ending the man who quickly transformed from friend to foe. That’s when AWOL changes his former partner’s perspective once again, turning from prey to predator.

He suddenly scoops Too Magnificent up onto his shoulder, countering into what may be a deadly running powerslam through the upside down cart. He takes a few steps when Too Magnificent squirms out of his clutches and lands on his feet behind him.

AWOL turns around and receives a swift kick to the mid-section, doubling him over and once again putting him in the front chancery. The crowd can tell that AWOL is obsessed with delivering the Midas Touch and putting an emphatic end to the Big Crazy Bastard’s reign of terror.

However, AWOL isn’t about go down without swinging. He wedges a shoulder to Too Mag’s ribs and powers him backwards, running him spine first directly into the turnbuckle. All the air is knocked from Magnificent’s lungs and his arms fall limply over the ropes, keeping him upright.

AWOL steps back, shakes off the cobwebs and then gets a big running start before leaping into the air for a splash in the corner. Too Magnificent suddenly clears out of the way, catches AWOL by the back of the head and sends him flying over the turnbuckle face first into the top of the exposed steel post.

AWOL’s head bounces back and he twists around, his spine wedged to the corner, which is the only thing keeping him standing.

Mayne: AWOL making the fool’s mistake. Heh, not a big shock there.

Katie: Yes, because nothing about this corporation is.

AWOL leans with his back perched against the turnbuckle, his eyes listless and gaze vacant. Too Magnificent knows there’s something off about AWOL, that his energy is starting to fade, so he takes advantage as quickly as his own fatigued body will allow. He steps up the turnbuckle and overlooks the screaming crowd before driving his fist down into AWOL’s face, then doing it again, and again. Each shot seems more powerful and lethal than the last.

The crowd counts along with every oh so satisfying strike that Too Magnificent uses to exact revenge on his lost cohort.

Billy: Yah, yah, go ahead, get the crowd into it Too Magnificent. Isn’t like their support will change anything.

Katie: I don’t believe he’s actually winning this thing.

Too Magnificent stops throwing punches all of a sudden and then bends forward, sinking his teeth into AWOL’s skull. He begins to gnaw on the flesh until blood oozes from beneath. Finally he pulls his head back and spits some flakes of skin from his mouth. As the crowd lavishes his opponent with praise AWOL puts together a new strategy. In a spur of the moment decision he steps out from under Too Magnificent and wraps his arms around the creases of his knees.

Too Mag’s face suddenly goes pale as he finds himself seated on AWOL’s shoulder. He remains in this prone state right until he’s powerbombed right through the upside down grocery cart.

Mayne: HOOOLLLY SHIT!

Fans: OOOOOOOOHHHH!!!!

The whole building is shaking in response to Too Magnificent’s disgusting plunge through the steel underbelly of the cart. The metal breaks away around his body and he now himself spilling all the way through to the open area, hitting the canvas a result. AWOL falls forward into him, lifting the knees and placing the creases over his shoulders.

Mayne: Good gravy did you see that? Too Magnificent was jus-jus-just powerbombed through that grocery cart in the most heinous fashion imaginable. AWESOME!

Katie: Is this the part where we pretend to mourn for the loss of Too Boring?

AWOL continues to lean forward, pinfall pending.

1

2

3

Too Magnificent’s body was just too injured to kick out. After the chokeslam through the roof, coupled with this powerbomb through the mesh of a grocery cart, Too Magnificent didn’t have anything left in the tank.

Mayne: And this physical war has ended, AWOL doing one of the sickest things I’ve ever seen in order to finally put Too Magnificent out of commission.

Katie: Yes, but he sure did take his time doing it. If only I could master time and give me back the last ten minutes of my life.

AWOL knees on the canvas, chest heaving desperately for breathe, body racked with pain from toe to scalp. He looks upon the man who took him to the woodshed and back. Too Magnificent’s near crippled body lies amongst the shatter remnants of the grocery cart. Although he’s in pain he has nothing to be ashamed of after coming close to yet again defeating AWOL in another high caliber, gruesome street fight.

Mayne: Too Magnificent almost had AWOL pinned a few times there, which speaks volumes about him considering he came into this match nearly crippled.

Steward: What do you mean by volumes?

Billy: I was alluding to the many volumes of his ignorance. Did he really think he was gonna win? That he’d beat AWOL with a broken back? The guy is a total flipping whack job! They need to put him in a vest…..HEY!

The Big Crazy Bastard’s celebration is cut off when he’s mugged out of nowhere by Psycho and Riggs.

Mayne: Generation Now attacking AWOL, their former mentor!

Katie: Finish him off quickly boys, don’t waste anymore of my precious time.

The fans are still jeering and jeering loud as AWOL covers his skull and tries to protect his head from the many stomps and forearms delivered by his past pupils. Psycho in particular relishes each blow delivered on AWOL, a man who subjected to him to many mental pangs over the years.

Mayne: I guess this all stems from Psycho’s challenge to AWOL several weeks ago. One that still hasn’t been answered.

Psycho takes AWOL under the jaw and lifts his head, tilting it back so that he can see each fist being driven into his face. Riggs breaks away from the assault on AWOL in order to get his hands on the nearly crippled Too Magnificent, attempting to soften him up even further for their clash at Paranoia VII. He stomps down directly into Too Magnificent’s sternum. All the while Suzie Clover is making her way down the ramp with a hitch in her step and a looking pure malice on her face. She only hesitates at ringside in order to grab a Singapore cane from the outside mats.

Billy: Even Clover is getting in on this attack. I don’t think anyone could ever forget what Too Magnificent did to her last week.

Riggs pulls Too Magnificent out of the wreckage and then drops to his side, delivering rapid fire punches to his face over and over again. He finally stops throwing blows when he’s smacked on the shoulder by his partner, Psycho calling for the completion of their plan.

The Painted Warrior nods, promptly taking one of Too Magnificent’s ankles and lifting his leg up into the air. Psycho grabs the other ankle and lifts it before both men slowly spread his legs open.

Mayne: I don’t like where this is headed….

Katie: I don’t want to think about where they’re going to put that cane.

The crowd is squealing as Suzie stands over Too Magnificent in his prone position, cane clutched tight in her hands. She finally lifts the staff above her skull and after looking into the sullen eyes of Too Magnificent swings the cane directly into his testicles. A loud roar emanates from Too Magnificent, who rolls to his side cupping his genitals with both hands.

Billy: Generation Now just castrated Too Magnificent faster than any enemy of Kai’n’Tai.

Katie: Too Fugly getting his comeuppance for tossing Suzie from the roof of the cell on the last Riot!

As Too Magnificent writhes in anguish Riggs steps over him, bending down and removing the N.H.B Championship from around his waist. He now holds the gold directly in front of Too Magnificent’s face while gesturing to himself. In the meanwhile Psycho is going to work on the heavily fatigued AWOL. He snatches him by the throat with both hands and pulls him to his knees, preparing for what should be a deadly Redeemer.

Mayne: And they’re not through yet. Generation Now has got one more victim to finish off.

Steward: Like I said, the quicker they do it, the better.

After enduring this war with Too Magnificent tonight AWOL is unable to defend himself from the pending Redeemer at the hands of his long time associate. That’s when relief comes in an unexpected form, Simon Cagero bolting down the ramp straight towards the ring.

Mayne: Wh-wh-why is Simon Cagero sticking his nose in AWOL’s business yet again?

Katie: Because he clearly never learns.

Cagero slides right into the ring and spins Riggs around, taking his focus off the defenseless Too Magnificent. As soon as Riggs turns to face his long time nemesis he’s caught in the side of the head with a big roundhouse kick to the temple. The stiff strike sends Riggs twisting to the canvas, hitting the ring then rolling across it to the outside.

This provides just the distraction to Psycho that AWOL needed. With the Sadistic One preoccupied he fails to notice AWOL slapping his arms away and delivering a straight uppercut to the jaw. Psycho stumbles back as a result and falls against the ropes for support while AWOL reaches his feet and charges in, delivering a lariat that sends his former pupil flipping over the cables.

Mayne: Wait….the Motherfuckin Empire just worked as a team and cleared Generation Now from the ring.

Suzie quickly gets out of harm’s way, dropping down to Riggs’ side and assisting him up to his feet. The Painted Warrior nearly looses his balance but braces himself while taking his N.H.B Championship into his arms. Suzie gladly forks it over to her man and then begins shouting at those in the ring. Psycho has flipped over and landed on his feet across the outside mats, now clutching at his throat as he backs up the ramp, glaring fiercely at the Big Crazy Bastard. Both men interlock eyes and do not dare to turn away, realizing that all the tensions, years of animosity will come to a boiling point at Paranoia VII.

Mayne: I can’t wait till those two kill one another at Paranoia VII, and finally put an end to our misery.

AWOL eventually turns away from his former student in order to face his former teammates.

AWOL: I thought I told you to stay out….

The moment he turns towards Cagero the mangled trashcan cracks him in the skull. The blow connects with enough force to knock AWOL to the canvas and send him rolling to the outside of the ring. An explosive reaction is heard from the crowd as Simon has finally taken a stand and done so by bashing in the brains of his former stablemate. He isn’t through exacting retribution yet though.

Mayne: Huzzah! Simon nailed AWOL with the trashcan.

Katie: That’s surprising. I thought Cagero was perfectly content with being AWOL’s bitch.

He tosses the trashcan to the canvas then approaches the nearby turnbuckle, scaling it to the top rope. Down below on the outside mats AWOL is trying to figure out what happened, caught in a daze. He has just reached his feet only to spot Cagero flying through the air and hitting him with a crossbody off the top rope. Both men crash into the outside mats with the whole building erupting into a wave of cheers.

Mayne: AAAH! Simon off the top rope!

The building rumbles with applause as Cagero rolls across the mats and reaches his feet. He quickly approaches the bevy of weapons lying at the ringside area and snatches up a steel chair.

Billy: Now he’s got a chair. He’s got a damned chair in his hands.

AWOL is none the wiser as he reaches his feet. Standing just as Simon steps in and bashes him over the skull with the chair, delivering the strike with such sickening force that it almost topples the Big Crazy Bastard. Somehow he remains upright though, shambling up the ramp to the backstage area.

Unfortunately for the Big Crazy Bastard, Cagero isn’t about to let him get very far. He rushes up behind AWOL, grabs him by the shoulder, and spins him around. AWOL throws a right hand directly at Cagero’s eye only to have Simon duck it, stand right back up and slam the chair over his skull for a second time. The crowd groans at the sound of the steel mangling AWOL’s cranium and sending him spiraling across the stage. He eventually ends up at the edge of the stage, swinging his arms to remain upright while his eyes roll to the back of his head.

Simon stands before him, the chair shaking his hands, moments from taking it to the skull of a man he once trusted. However, something stops him, Cagero beginning to regret his decision perhaps. He throws down the chair, realizing what he’s done to the man he once fought side by side with. The crowd boos as Cagero turns his back on AWOL before their reaction drastically changes when Simon steps in and superkicks the behemoth under the jaw.

The stiff superkick sends AWOL crashing from the stage through the electrical equipment and condiment tables down below. The equipment explodes under AWOL’s frame. Eventually the Big Crazy Bastard hits the concrete, now lying motionless amongst the rubble while the crowd commences with a loud “Holy Shit” chant.

Mayne: Simon Cagero…..Cagero just….well….destroyed AWOL here tonight.

Katie: Good riddance.

Simon bends forward with his hands on his knees, looking down from the edge of the stage unto the carnage down below.

Simon: If your gonna face anyone at Paranoia VII, your gonna face ME.

The fans are overjoyed by this announcement as Simon makes his intentions for the greatest event of all times known. He now backs away from the stage, leaving AWOL strewn amongst the fractured fragments of table and the broken electrical equipment.

Mayne: Simon Cagero wants AWOL at Paranoia VII. But isn’t the Big Crazy Bastard supposed to facing his former pupil Psycho in their long awaited match?

The crowd is very excited by both the savage assault by Simon and the prospect of seeing him collide with AWOL at Paranoia VII.

BREAKING THE SPELL

A chair goes flying across the hallway and smacks right into the wall. The sound of the steel colliding with the concrete reverberates throughout the corridor. Backstage correspondent Michelle Blacker ducks her head to avoid any of the flying debris, finding herself truly in the trenches tonight. She lifts the microphone to her mouth with one hand while shielding her head with the other.

Michelle: I’m reporting LIVE backstage where Jackson Adams is…well….loosing it.

The camera pans over the flipped tables and the collection of shattered glass strewn across the floor. The lens finally locates Adams, who is kicking a garbage can over. All the while Max Craven stands to his side, pleading with the Submission Champion.

Max: Jackson, bro, listen to me….

Adams is doing nothing of the sort as he throws the mangled trashcan into the wall.

Craven: Just calm down and hear me out. The night isn’t over yet man.

It’s clear that Adams still isn’t listening to reason as he bends forward and clutches at the arm Shaun Cruze nearly stretched from it’s socket moments ago. Blacker, always one to purposely place herself in the most precarious of situations, inches closer to the Generation Now members.

Blacker: Ummm, Max?

Blacker is finally acknowledged.

Max: What the hell do you want? Can’t you see I’ve got my hands full here?

Michelle: I just wanted to get your thoughts….

Craven: On what, WHAT!?!

Michelle: On the possibility that Orlando is going to answer Jackson’s challenge at Paranoia…..

Jackson: He WILL answer my challenge.

Adams continues to snap, now doing so verbally. He reaches out and grabs Michelle’s wrist, pulling the microphone close to his trembling lips.

Adams: One way or another Orlando will come to that ring tonight and he will BEG, he will PLEAD for the opportunity to face me at Paranoia VII.

It’s clear that Adams truly believes every word that he utters, speaking with conviction.

Jackson: He thinks he can keep hiding behind his brother and get away with assaulting me two weeks in a row? Well I’m gonna set him straight. I’m gonna open his eyes, and the eyes of every fan who was ever loyal to the Icon. Don’t they see what kind of man he is? Hasn’t he revealed his true colors to them yet? Why do you people keep cheering for a man who does nothing more than hog air time and toy with your emotions?

The thought of the abuses Orlando has committed against the fans has Jackson steaming.

Adams: Don’t you see him for what he really is? He’s a coward. He’s a manipulator. He’s ten times worse than Christian Savior or Porno Lad could ever hope to be and yet you brainwashed fans continue to cheer him. Even as he assaults the one man trying to break his hold over you. The one man who stands for WRESTLING and not soap opera shenanigans.

The surge of emotions continues to make Adams shake.

Jackson: You fans have forgotten what this industry is about, because Orlando has misled you. He’s bastardized everything that wrestling represents. He’s corrupted your minds and he’s corrupted this sport. I’m not gonna tolerate it any longer. I’m going to break the spell. I’ll rip the fucking wool from your eyes rather you want me to or not. You fans deserve the truth, and I’m gonna show it to you. And after I’ve revealed Orlando for what he is, after I’ve FORCED him to stop being a coward and FORCED him to repay you fans for your unearned praise by FORCING him back into this ring, you will all drop to your knees and thank me. You’ll thank me for bringing WRESTLING back to the IWC, and breaking the stronghold Orlando has had over your minds and emotions for far too long.

Adams releases Michelle and grips at his aching shoulder as he storms off camera. Max lingers behind, nodding his head while rolling his eyes.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

…..HOW I WONDER WHERE YOU ARE

Jason: Jake, JAKE STARR!

A red hot Jason Zero storms through the parking lot in search of his prey. His eyes peer through the shadows of the night, searching between every car, around every pole, but Starr is nowhere in sight.

Kassie: Jason, come on, this is crazy.

Jason: He’s not going to get away with making me look like a fool again.

Khane has no idea what she can say that will placate the World Champion.

Khane: Do you honestly think he’s still around here?

Jason stops to contemplate what he’s hearing.

Kassie: He probably had that loser play his little video clip then he hit the road. He wouldn’t stick around after pissing you off.

Zero: You would think so, wouldn’t you?

She nods eagerly.

Jason: That would be a logical assumption, but Jake Starr has NEVER been very logical. I know Starr, and I know his hubris will be his downfall.

Kassie: What do you mean?

She inquires in between rubbing the patch of flesh between her eyes.

Zero: It’s simple, Kassie. He HAD to stick around to see what kind of affect his mind-games would have on me. He had to see the look on my face, the rage in my eyes. Oh yes, he’s still here, Kassie, he couldn’t pass up the opportunity to have a front row seat to my misery.

Kassie: But aren’t YOU the one giving him a show?

Jason: Explain.

Kassie: You’re the one out here running around like a madman, all bent out of shape and thrown completely off his game. This is just playing into exactly what Starr wants.

Jason: Maybe.

Kassie: No, not maybe. You know what I’m telling you is…..

Zero: Hold on, THERE’S the loading bay.

Kassie: Jason just listen to me for five….

Zero: Hush.

All Khane can do is drop her arms to her sides and sigh. Reluctantly she follows right behind Zero as the two inch through the parking facility, drawing closer to the large loading bay doors. With every step they take Jason becomes a bit more tentative, eyes overlooking every inch of space that Jake can use as cover to get the drop on him.

Jason: Come on Starr. COME ON OUT! I thought this was about the title, nothing personal.

There is no reply from the still night air.

Zero: If you really thought you could beat me you wouldn’t have to resort to these types of cheap…..

Suddenly there is an explosion from one of the loading bay doors that knocks both Zero and Kassie back. Jason falls into the grill of a car, catching himself against it while Kassie tumbles to the ground. Jason overcomes his initial shock and helps Kassie to her feet, swearing under his breathe all the while. Their eyes now center on a burning emblem scorching the loading bay door. A pattern burns in the flames, featuring an “S” centered within a star.

Zero:……

Jason mumbles incoherently under his breathe before turning and delivering a swift kick to the headlight of the car he fell into, bursting it on impact.

BEFORE THE BREAK

The show returns live to the interior of the building where the excited vocals of Billy Mayne can be heard in the background.

Mayne: Two weeks away from Paranoia VII emotions are running higher than ever. If you missed what went down before the commercial break, well, stab yourself in the hand with a sharpened pencil.

Katie: Gladly.

Mayne: Not my hand, OW!

Steward: What my Minion is referring to, no, not the pencil embedded in his flesh, is the over the top violent act that transpired moments ago.

The words “During the Commercial Break” are superimposed in the bottom left corner of the screen. This clues in the viewers to the fact that the images of Simon Cagero’s assault on AWOL, or the attack on Too Magnificent’s scrotum with the Singapore cane are not happening live.

Mayne: First Generation Now attacked Too Magnificent and burst his seed sacks with a shot from the cane. THEN all hell truly broke loose.

The images on the screen now feature Simon driving a trashcan, a steel chair and his own foot into AWOL’s skull. All these blows eventually knock the Big Crazy Bastard from the stage and send him toppling through the tables at ringside.

Billy: Simon finally got a measure of revenge against AWOL. Which he certainly took his sweet time doing.

Katie: Yes, apparently everyone on the IWC roster is slower than Simple Jack.

Mayne: Anyway, we’ve just learned that as a result of this attack a “blockbuster,” yes I did just use quotation fingers, match has been added to the already loaded Paranoia VII line up.

AWOL’s twisted features consume the screen, with a wall of bright lights flashing behind his back. The lyrics of “The Good Life” by Three Days Grace heightens the excitement.

Billy: It’s gonna be AWOL versus Psycho….

AWOL’s face fades away and in replaced with a close up on Psycho’s intense expression.

Mayne: Versus Simon Cagero….

Psycho’s features fade away and now it’s Simon Cagero’s face that overtakes the screen. A confident smile stretches from one ear to the other as the lights shine brighter than ever behind his back. Now all three men are shown in a still photo standing shoulder to shoulder with the Paranoia emblem shinning behind their backs.

Mayne: It’s gonna be a three way elimination dance at Paranoia VII, and it’s gonna be Ultimate Incentive. Meaning that the survivor will receive any match of their choice at any time of their choice for a whole calendar year.

Katie: I already want to upchuck at the mere thought of either of these three potentially challenging for a World Title.

Billy: It very well could happen. We’re gonna find out who’s gonna survive this war at Paranoia VII, now that they have the Ultimate Incentive.

Katie: Yuck. Are you trying to make me vomit?

Billy: No, although I can guarantee that what’s coming up next truly is going to make you sick.

Steward: Your not gonna strip are you?

Mayne: No. I got arrested for that last time and all I did was took off a shoe in public. Anyway, in mere moments we’re going to see a match that could have DRASTIC effects on Paranoia VII, when Fox Arcane and Billy Mitchell defend the IWC Tag Team Titles against Pat Evans and Axl Evermore.

Katie: How the hell? Why are THEY getting a shot at the belts?

Mayne: Don’t ask me, I just pretend to work here.

Attention deviates to the stage just as “Unbreakable” hits the PA system, resulting in a mass outcry from the audience. The moment they are forced to endure the lyrics of Jon Rich’s entrance theme they lead a verbal revolt. Through the curtains strolls the Magnanimous one himself, Rich, joined hand in hand with Katelyn Buehler. They pause only briefly for Jon to tug on Katelyn’s wrist and send her twirling towards him. Once they get face to face they smooch and then storm towards the ring, looking all business.

Mayne: I’m not sure what this is about…..oh wait, looks like they’re gonna join us here on commentary. Here comes the ACTUAL number one contenders for the IWC Tag Team Titles, Katelyn Buehler and Jon Rich. I can’t imagine they’re very happy about what’s about to take place.

Katie: How many times do I have to repeat the word “DUH’?”

Rich steps around the announce table and takes a seat while Katelyn drapes herself over his lap. The two of them slide on headsets and blow off the jeers from the crowd.

Katelyn: Hi Katie, hi Billy, did you miss us?

Mayne: Oh, undoubtedly. I’ve missed many pieces of your anatomy. Some more than others.

Katie: I’d rather have you out here then commentating alongside this heathen all night.

Rich: Don’t even get us started on heathens, Goddess. If you want to talk about amoral people, look no further than the challengers in this pending tag match. Two guys who did absolutely nothing to receive this title shot. Two guys who snuck in the back door and stole our GUARANTEED titles. It makes me sick to the bone.

Buehler: I can make that bone feel better.

Jon: That’s not the bone I was referring to.

Mayne: But please still do it for our viewing pleasure.

“BAD” BILLY MITCHELL & FOX ARCANE ©
VS.
PAT EVANS & AXL EVERMORE

“Outsider” hits the PA system and results in an explosive reaction from the Collinsville crowd. They all rise in mass as to their shock Pat Evans and Axl Evermore emerge side by side. The two putting aside their ego to step to the stage united here tonight. The crowd is truly energized at this unexpected image of Pat and Axl shoulder to shoulder, something they never thought they would see. The two men march straight down the ramp, Evermore dealing out a few high fives to the energetic audience as the pear approaches the ring.

Mayne: Am I really seeing this? Or is it some kind of horrible, traumatizing hallucination?

Katelyn: No, Bill, it’s true, these two simpletons actually are teaming together because they know it’s the only way they can survive our wrath.

Rich: They couldn’t cut the mustard by themselves, which we proved when we systematically dissected them last week, so they HAVE to buddy up and try to tear us down. This is precisely why I chose not to team with either one of them, their far too selfish and egotistical. Plus, they never get the job done. You’ll see that tonight when they FAIL to win the titles.

Billy: Just like the two of you failed to remain at ringside earlier to help Porno Lad out.

Buehler: We won’t be addressing any comments about the Five Star Society, Bill. So shut up your face about what happened earlier.

Evans and Evermore tentatively exchange a glance before warming up in their respective corners. Evermore rotates his arm, his shoulder bearing a bandage from the attack last week while Evans stretches his ankle, also wrapped in ace bandaging.

PULL THE TRIGGER!!!!!

Rapid gunshots echo through the arena, the sounds booming in the speakers as bullet holes appear in the black screen, slowly spelling out the word “BAD”. One final shot causes the image to shatter like glass, the pieces falling away to reveal a fast-cut montage of Mitchell in past matches, celebrating with the crowd, or putting opponents away with the ‘Silver Bullet’. An eruption of silver-white pyrotechnics rips up through the stage, silhouetting the “American Outlaw” as he’s catapulted into the air through a hole in the steel, sending the already roaring crowd into a frenzied ovation. Picking up in the middle of the chorus, “Shoot to Thrill” thunders at full volume as the lights return in dazzling strobes and spotlights of gold. Still standing at center-stage, Mitchell spins in place a few times while throwing his arms out wide, causing the duster to billow around him. Planting his feet, he stops short and cocks one hand like a six-gun, slapping at the thumb while firing up into the rafters, causing small pyrotechnic explosions with each ‘shot’, sending the sparks raining down onto the fans. Finally bringing the ‘gun’ up to his lips, he blows the smoke off the barrel and slowly starts to lope down the ramp.

Shoot to Thrill
Play to Kill
Too many women
With too many pills, yeah!

Shoot to Thrill
Play to Kill
I got my gun at the ready
Gonna’ fire at will, yeah!

I’m gonna’ take you down
Oh, down, down, down
So don’t you fool around
I’m gonna’ pull it
Pull it…

PULL THE TRIGGER!!!!!

Moving from one side of the ramp to the other, Mitchell slaps at every single hand he sees, before making his way to one of the young women at ringside and crooking his finger, prompting her to lean over the guardrail. Looking to either side, Mitchell pulls his hat off and slips it on the woman’s head while leaning in and pressing a slow, sultry kiss onto her lips, drawing catcalls and wolf whistles from the rest of the crowd. Breaking away, Mitchell fans himself a little and clasps at his heart, before turning and rolling into the ring. Pushing to his feet, he crosses to one of the corners and mounts the middle rope, throwing up both hands with the ‘Bottoms Up!’ gesture, earning a deafening ovation from the fans. Bobbing his head in time to the beat, Mitchell leans his shoulders back and rolls them in time to the music, allowing the duster to slide slowly down his arms, revealing his rugged physique and drawing even more calls from the female fans. Pulling the coat loose, he lobs it to a ringside crewman before dropping back to the mat and using the ropes to stretch himself out as his music fades.

Mayne: And here comes one half of perhaps the most dysfunctional Tag Team Champions in IWC history, BAD Billy Mitchell.

Steward: You want to see dysfunctional champions, look no further than that paper champ Josh Hudson over in SCW.

Jon: No thanks, I can barely stand to look at Billy Mitchell as it is. The guy has a total disrespect for those Tag Team Title belts, he’s destroying their credibility. But when Katelyn and I win the titles we’ll bring honor, we’ll bring class, we’ll bring esteem back to the titles.

Katelyn: And we’ll bring sexy back.

Rich: Erm, yeah. Anyway, the only pleasure I’ll get out of watching Mitchell tonight is when I see him decimate both of these curtain jerkers.

Mitchell removes the Tag strap from his shoulder before tossing it to the official. He then gives a cold, callous glare towards his opponents who are still working out the kinks in their injured muscles.

The sound of a wolf howling, or perhaps it is a fox, is heard and the audience quiet down until they hear the words ‘Straying! Straying!’ of Wolf Rain’s ‘Stray’. The lights go everywhere searching for where the pedestal is going to rise. The audience look around too, because they know that it could rise right beside them. The camera picks up where the audience is backing away and focus on it. It sees the platform as it rises while the music continues to play. Standing on the pedestal is one Fox Arcane, X-Class Title over his shoulder. Fox looks very tentative as he heads towards the ring, realizing he’ll have to share it with the likes of Billy Mitchell, his “partner,” the very man who gave him the Silver Bullet just a few short weeks ago.

Katie: I have to question Fox’s brains. Sure, he has the beauty part down pat, with the exception of that obnoxious bleached blond hair, but he clearly isn’t the smartest guy in the world.

Rich: Your just realizing this?

Steward: I mean, he’s willingly stepping into the ring with a man who wants to END him, and he expects Billy to be a team player? I think not.

Mayne: That’s right, last week, Billy Mitchell made it perfectly clear why he’s in the IWC, and it’s to BEAT Fox Arcane and put the first blemish on the X-Class Champion’s record.

Arcane forks over his X-Class and Tag Team Titles to the official before turning towards his rather impulsive partner. Mitchell grins as their eyes interlock and he detects the tension between them. The bell chimes in the background and the official requests that only one of them starts this match. Before any type of discussion can be had Mitchell graciously steps through the ropes to his corner, allowing Arcane to have the first crack at their opponents. Fox sneers and turns towards Evans, who is beginning this bout on behalf of his team.

Rich: I can’t believe Evermore would actually let Evans start the match. But I guess he just can’t stand in the way of Pat’s ego.

Katelyn: It’s probably as big as the swelling around his ankle. He-he-he. How dastardly of me.

Arcane glances over his shoulder one last time at the man who gave him a stunner just a few short weeks ago and then pounces at Evans. The two lock up in a basic collar elbow tie before Fox quickly drops down and goes for the ankle. He grabs hold of the injured limb, trying to lift it into the air in order to sweep the legs out from under the technician. However, Pat begins driving forearms against Fox’s back over and over again, trying to free himself.

He suddenly wraps his arms around Fox’s waist and physically lifts him from the canvas and throws him across the ring. Arcane lands on his fists and his feet and then goes rushing right towards Pat, clipping his ankle from behind.

Rich: He might not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but he’s showing some intelligence by going immediately after the ankle Buehler and I destroyed last week.

Evans winces in pain as he rolls around on the canvas grabbing at his swelling ankle. It provides the perfect target for Arcane, who grabs hold of the damaged limb and then swings it down into the canvas forcefully. Pat lunges forward grabbing at his ankle and then throwing a punch right into Arcane’s ribs. The shot doubles Fox over and Evans now grabs him around the neck, applying a front chancery submission. He hooks the arm in the process, putting even further pressure on the hold.

Both men reach their feet with Evans in the dominant position before his leg is hooked and he’s heaved into the air. Before Evans can do anything about it he’s dropped ankle first right across Fox’s knee with a modified shin breaker. Pat grasps at his leg and rolls across the canvas, grimacing with the slightest touch to his ankle.

Katelyn: Hehehehe, Pat Evans is now the proverbial one legged man in an ass kicking contest.

Mayne: Hahahahahahahahaha….

Jon: Billy….

Mayne: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Jon: BILLY!

Mayne: Sorry.

Arcane snatches hold of the ankle and then yanks it violently, hyperextending many of the tendons throughout his leg. He stretches the leg out over the canvas then leaps into the air and drops a knee directly into the already swelled, bruised ankle. Pat sits up reaching desperately for his leg only to have Arcane pie face him back down to the canvas. He keeps his knee wedged to Pat’s ankle and pulls up on the foot. As a result he bends the ankle at a very awkward angle that causes Evans tremendous grief.

As Evermore watches this he shakes his head, looking quite pessimistic about his partner’s ability to escape this hold. Arcane lifts up on the ankle, twisting it at an even more troubling angle only to break his hold via a knee jerk reaction to the blind tag made by Billy Mitchell.

The second his shoulder is slapped Arcane leaps to his feet and coldly eyes Mitchell who enters the ring. Billy pays no attention whatsoever to the X-Class Champion, grabbing hold of Pat’s leg and lifting it into the air where he subjects it to a number of stomps to the ankle and to the crease of the knee.

Katie: Get out of the ring already Fox, and bend over suggestively while your doing it.

Mayne: Why don’t you show him how it’s done, Katelyn.

Katelyn: Okay.

Jon: No. No, no, no, no….just sit back and enjoy the total annihilation of Pat Evans.

Billy puts his foot on Pat’s opposite ankle, pinning it to the canvas while he lifts the injured leg up to his shoulder. He now begins to twist the ankle with both arms, applying a modified ankle lock type submission maneuver. The hold has Evans completely grounded and punching the canvas in anger. He swipes his hands across his face trying to do anything to block the agony flowing throughout his leg.

Jon: This is great. We’re about to see the shortest tag team title match in IWC history. Way shorter than any matches involving Piddle and Plop.

Evans’ whole body is tensing thanks to the trauma radiating outward from his possibly fractured ankle. In order to get Pat’s adrenaline flowing Evermore provokes the crowd into clapping for Pat, showing them how it’s done. All the fans join as one, clapping and stomping their feet in the hopes that it will inspire Evans to escape this hold by Mitchell.

Evans begins to twist his body on cue, responding to this piercing reaction from his diehard supporters. He now finds himself squirming across his spine towards his corner where Evermore has his hand extended, fingers twiddling with anticipation of a tag.

Katelyn: He’s not actually gonna tag Evermore is he?

Jon: I don’t see why he would my dear, it do nothing more than prolong the agony.

Evans is getting dangerously close to making a tag before Billy breaks the hold and drops down elbow first into the ankle. A shrill cry emanates from Evans as he sits up and reaches for his leg in desperation. The second he takes a seat Billy leaps on him, applying a side headlock and beginning to deliver right after right hand to the face. The official finally has to get involved in order to stop the use of the illegal closed fists.

Billy rolls off of Pat and takes a threatening step towards the referee, who is quick to back away from the unpredictable grappler.

Rich: HEY! Stay focused dammit.

Mitchell turns back towards Evans and stomps towards him only to have the creases of his knees grabbed and his legs yanked out from under him. He tumbles to his back with Evans leaping on top in a mounted position, throwing rights and lefts repeatedly into his skull. Billy tries to cover up but is to no avail. Once more the official is forced to intervene.

He starts a five count, reaching four before Evans limps to his feet and grabs Billy’s legs, spreading them open. He then drops a blatant headbutt right into Mitchell’s crotch, causing him to convulse around the canvas.

Mayne: OHHH NO!

Katie: I hope Billy didn’t have any plans to reproduce. I really, REALLY hope he didn’t.

Katelyn: Shouldn’t that be a disqualification? That should be a disqualification.

Jon: It should but the referee can’t seem to get his head out of his ass tonight.

The ref is all over Evans’ case but his focus is elsewhere, Pat preoccupied with trying to reach his corner. He crawls painstakingly towards Evermore, who anxiously anticipates the tag. His arm is outstretched with fingers twiddling, desperate to get into this match.

Pat is nearing him, getting closer and closer before he’s grabbed by the ankle and dragged back to the center of the ring. Billy pulls him all the way to the middle of the squared circle when Pat rolls to his back, wedges his feet to his opponent’s chest and kicks him off. Mitchell is sent spiraling into the turnbuckle, falling against it when Arcane reaches over and slaps his shoulder, making his own blind tag.

Mitchell spins around looking furious as the X-Class Champion enters the ring and comes charging straight towards their common foe. His face sneers over the indignity of being forced to play along, exiting the ring and retaking his place in the corner.

Arcane comes charging straight towards Evans who suddenly wedges his feet to the Tag Champion’s stomach and monkey flips him through the air. Fox catches tremendous height then crashes down right across the back of his neck and head.

Jon: He dropped him right on his head ref, do something about this!

Evans turns over, getting to his elbows and knees so that he can once again crawl towards his corner. He makes the arduous journey towards an eager Evermore but finds his path obstructed by Arcane. The X-Class Champ recovers just in time to rush at Evans, reaching down and grabbing his head. However, Pat suddenly scurries right through Fox’s legs, ending up behind him and reaching out for the tag. His hand slaps Evermore’s and the crowd comes unglued.

Mayne: The tag has been made.

Katelyn: Awwww…

Rich: Don’t worry, it won’t effect this outcome whatsoever.

Axl leaps over the ropes, twists, lands on the middle cable and then springs into a flying back elbow that connects to Fox’s chest. Arcane hits the canvas as does Evermore, both men quickly rushing to their feet. The second that Fox stands he’s drilled in the face with a dropkick from Axl, putting him right back down.

He clutches at his skull and goes rolling across the ring while Evermore leaps to his feet. He stands just as Mitchell illegal enters the ring and charges in to take the advantage. However, Axl catches his knees with his shoulder and sends him sailing towards the heavens with a big back drop.

Jon: This is making me queasy.

Mayne: It’s making me bloated.

As Mitchell goes crashing into the canvas Evermore takes flight over the top rope, delivering a big crossbody on Arcane outside of the ring.

The crowd unleashes a piercing roar as Evermore connects with Arcane and both men collapse to the mats with force. Inside of the ring Evans is utilizing the turnbuckle to stand up, still unable to put much weight on his ankle. That’s when Mitchell comes charging in and leaping into the air for a big stinger splash in the corner. Pat steps out of the way and Billy connects sternum first with the corner, being knocked back right into Pat’s waiting clutches. Evans hooks the arm and prepares for the Spinal Tap, resulting in another pop from the sold out crowd.

Pat is on the verge of delivering one of his many trademark moves when Mitchell rushes forward and drops down just short of the turnbuckle. The momentum carries Pat forward face first into the top turnbuckle pad. He bounces off and comes staggering backwards into Mitchell, who stands just in time to deliver a straight kick to the back of Pat’s ankle.

Evans collapses to his spine and Mitchell ferociously begins stomping at the leg repeatedly.

Rich: There we go, right back to work on the ankle. Keep it up Mitchell.

On the outside of the ring Evermore has Fox on his feet, propped back first against the barrier. Axl unloads with piston style rights and lefts and throws in the occasional stomp for good measure. He then grabs Fox by the wrist and whips him towards the steel steps only for the X-Class Champion to surprise him by reversing the Irish whip. As a result Evermore is sent right into the steel stairs, his banged up shoulder smashing viciously into the steel.

Axl drops down desperately grasping at his possibly broken shoulder. Arcane shows no sympathy for his opponent, consumed with retaining his gold. He slides back into the ring where Billy is still stomping away at the ankle. He straightens Pat’s leg out over the canvas and approaches the nearest turnbuckle, beginning to scale it.

Katelyn: Something tells me we’re about to see Billy finish what we started last week.

Jon: Good for him.

Mitchell scales the turnbuckle to the second rope and is on the verge of taking flight when Arcane grabs Pat’s ankle and drags him to the center of the ring. Billy throws his arms out to his sides, flabbergasted that Fox kept him from delivering the death nail. He drops down from the corner and in a huff approaches his corner, slipping through the ropes to the apron. He bites his lip as he watches Fox swing around Pat’s leg, attempting to apply the spinning toe hold.

Evans thrashes around, desperately trying to save himself from this submission but things are looking bleak for the injured combatant. He seems mere seconds away from submitting before salvation comes in the form of yet another blind tag. Billy leans over the ropes and slaps Arcane’s bicep, bringing him back into this match in a legal capacity.

Jon: What the hell is he……COME ON!

Billy slips into the ring and gets right up in Arcane’s face. Fox breaks the submission in order to eye his “tag team partner.” The two men are nose to nose and Fox does not hesitate to start running his mouth.

Fox: Do you even care about being champions? Do you, do you at all?

Mitchell lowers his head in though then delivers a quick kick to Arcane’s stomach, doubling him over. Billy takes him around the neck, setting up for the Silver Bullet. He’s seconds away from doing irreparable damage to Arcane’s neck and ego, only for Fox to spare himself such a cruel fate.

Katelyn: What are you idiots doing?

Fox wedges his hands to Billy’s back and shoves him off, sending him stumbling forward right into the clutches of Evans. Pat drop toe holds Mitchell face first into the canvas then swings around and grabs his ankle, lifting it up into the air. The submission is locked in and Billy is tossing and turning from side to side trying to escape it.

Arcane watches this with a conflicted expression on his face, wondering if he should intervene in order to save his Tag Team Titles. Eventually he does react, and his reaction is to drop to the canvas and roll to the outside of the ring.

Jon: Where are you going Fox!?! Do something, DO SOMETHING!

The X-Class Champion grabs his singles title from ringside and throws it over his shoulder before heading up the ramp. In the meanwhile Billy is still twisting and writhing across the canvas as a result of the ankle lock. He couldn’t possibly be in more pain, or that’s what he thinks. Axl slips into the ring at this point and dives to Billy’s side, grabbing hold of his arm and applying the fujiwara armbar.

The crowd is loving every second of this, watching Billy suffer from duel submissions. Evans keeps twisting at the ankle while Evermore rears back on the arm, nearly snapping the shoulder out of its socket.

Buehler: This is not happening.

Katie: I say that every time I have to sit down and commentate alongside my Minion here.

Jon: This is illegal I tell you. Get your finger out of your ass ref!

All eyes are locked attentively on Mitchell’s free hand as it hovers above the canvas and continues to shake. Evans rips at the ankle, exacting revenge on behalf of his own leg that was targeted throughout this match. Meanwhile Evermore hyper-extends the arm and can feel it turning to jello in his hands. The aggression and fight within Mitchell begins to fade and he’s finally left with only one recourse, to slap the canvas.

Buehler: NO!

Rich: This is OUTRAGEOUS!

The Collinsville crowd shows solidarity as they erupt with excitement, cheering for Evans and Evermore who have just pulled off the impossible. The bell chimes in the background and both men finally break their dueling holds, Evans falling to his side and Evermore rolling to his knees, face buried in the palms of his hands.

Mayne: We have NEW Tag Team Champions.

Rich: This is criminal. This is….AARRR!

Rich stands up and grabs the protective panel placed over the monitors, ripping it off and sending it flipping over.

Billy: This is just….just SHOCKING. Pat Evans and Axl Evermore, long time adversaries have just won the IWC Tag Titles. I honestly cannot believe what I’m witnessing.

Steward: I think I may be traumatized.

The magnitude of their victory doesn’t sink in until the referee is handing the Tag Titles to both Evermore and Evans. Axl cradles the gold against his sternum while Pat lifts his belt high into the air, basking in the reception from the crowd.

Jon: This is unjust in every conceivable way. I’m not gonna stand for this, and I’m not gonna let these two stand in my way at Paranoia VII.

Buehler: We’ll take care of them, sweetheart, don’t worry, we’ll finish them off for good.

Jon and Buehler stand up behind the announce table with Rich flinging his headset down to the ground. His intense eyes watch as Evans limps towards Axl and extends his hand. Evermore looks up into the palm then into Pat’s face, questioning his intentions. After a tense delay Axl takes Pat’s hand and is assisted to his feet.

Mayne: This moment couldn’t possibly get any worse.

Although he can barely stand Pat hobbles towards the ropes and demands the use of a microphone.

Katie: Great, you jinxed us once again.

With mic in palm Pat shambles towards his partner, Evermore throwing his tag belt over his shoulder.

Evans: Feel that….?

He overlooks the screaming fans.

Evans: Feel that chill?

The crowd is a bit confused.

Evans: That’s because hell just froze over.

They react with piercing applause. The muscles in Katelyn’s face twitch.

Pat: I’m pretty sure nobody saw this coming, nobody deemed this imaginable. I know I didn’t, and I’m pretty positive Evermore didn’t either….

Axl nods in agreement.

Evans: As unfathomable as it may be, here we stand, Axl Evermore, Pat Evans, enemies for life united as Tag Team Champions.

As they lift their title belts in tandem the crowd once again explodes.

Evermore: Which means….

He takes the microphone and gestures towards the spiteful Buehler and Rich at ringside.

Axl:….all the pieces are in place, we now have a showdown set for Paranoia VII. A showdown between the guys who were kicked to the curb and these two whores.

Rich covers Buehler’s ears while she flips out.

Evermore: A showdown that will prove once and for all, without doubt, that when it comes to decision making, Jon, you flat out suck.

The reaction only gets louder as Axl verbally jabs Rich.

Axl: At Paranoia VII, when we collide for THESE tag team titles, Evans and I are gonna make you regret every decision you’ve made over the past few months. Whether it was joining with the Five Star Society or making enemies out of the two of us. Because at Paranoia, when your lying on your back looking up, you won’t see Katelyn straddling you….

Buehler and Rich grimace.

Evermore: You’ll see THIS!

Axl steps to Pat’s side and the two raise their title belts high above their heads. The reaction they receive is near deafening. All Rich and Buehler can do is stew uncomfortably, realizing that they have been backed into a corner and are now FORCED to face Evans and Evermore if they want the Tag Team Titles.

Mayne: This isn’t what Jon and Katelyn had in mind when they laid out the challenge for Paranoia VII. They wanted to fight the unstable alliance of Mitchell and Arcane but now they HAVE to face Pat and Evermore for the Tag Championships. What a match that’s gonna be for the titles.

Katie: Damn these two, they manipulated their way into this match with the Five Star Society, and their gonna regret it come Paranoia VII.

Katelyn and Rich continue to intensely glare at the newly anointed Tag Team Champions as Pat and Axl celebrate with their gold.

THE HUNT CONTINUES

The Riot! theme song plays in the background as Kassie Khane lags behind Jason Zero, the World Title still draped over her shoulder and the Champion still searching for Jake Starr.

Mayne: As you can see Jason Zero is still looking for Jake Starr, convinced that he’s somewhere in the building. Will he find Starr? And what will happen when he does?

Kassie tries to keep up with Jason as he walks quickly down the corridor, peering around every corner. The show transitions to commercial in the midst of his search.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Papa Shango: The Master of The Runs

NO COMMENT

Amidst all the chaos occurring in the ring the cameras now cut to the serenity of the backstage area. There Michelle Blacker stands with microphone in hand and spine turned towards the dressing room door of one Christian Savior.

Michelle: In just two short weeks we will witness what is arguably the BIGGEST Paranoia of them all, headlined by not one, not two, but THREE World Title matches.

She pauses to let the applause simmer down.

Blacker: And one of the men who will have the ultimate opportunity to emerge with the World Championship at Paranoia VII, is none other than Christian….

Savior: Where is it!?! Huh? Where is it!?!

The sounds of a scuffle can be heard from within Christian’s dressing room. An awful lot of noise is made as things are thrown into walls and knocked over. Before Michelle can even tap and start in with her demands for an explanation the door flies open and a perturbed Christian steps out of the dressing room.

Christian: YOU…

Blacker looks over her shoulder then motions to herself.

Savior: Did you see anyone leave or go into my dressing room?

At first Michelle doesn’t know how to respond to the question, resulting in further prompting from the Rising Phoenix.

Christian: Well?

Michelle: No, I just got here. I was hoping for an interview….

Christian: An interview?

Christian is perplexed then angered.

Savior: No, no, no, no…..no interviews. I’ve already said everything I had to say about Paranoia and my match with Porno Lad…..besides, my mind is on something else right now?

Michelle: Oh? Like converting more members of the Five Star Society to your cause?

Christian: No. But I’m confident they’ll all make the right choice, just like Kitty. I can’t seem to find my Cartel Championship belt anywhere.

Blacker: I’m sure it’ll turn up…

Savior: It had better.

Michelle: How about that interview?

Savior sneers then slams the door in Michelle’s face.

Christian: Now where did I put it?

RIGGS VS. ROBIN BROOKS

The crowd is growing anxious for some more in ring action on a night that has been chalk fool of it. After witnessing the Tag Title change, the brutal war between AWOL and Too Magnificent, as well as the altercation between the Cruze brothers and Jackson Adams, the fans hunger for more. Their desires are satisfied when “The Game” by Disturbed blares through the PA system, leading to a highly emotional response from the crowd. Through the curtains, without delay, strolls Robin Brooks.

Mayne: We are back live and we are jumping right into the action once again. Robin Brooks about to fa…..hey now, hahahaha, what is that?

Katie: It’s a woman, Minion, and not the inflatable type your use to seeing.

Billy: I mean what Robin has with her.

Steward: Is that….is that a baby stroller?

The crowd is all the more repulsed with Brooks considering that she is wheeling a stroller towards the ring with a fake, prop baby placed inside. Brooks even goes as far as to make faces towards the plastic baby and talk like an infant.

Mayne: Has Robin lost her mind?

Katie: She’s clearly using this prop to get into Hurse’s head, which is beyond hysterical.

Brooks places the stroller on the apron and then climbs up beside it. She finally slips through the ropes and drags the baby stroller inside as well. From the stroller she retrieves a microphone and takes her sweet time providing an explanation. She can barely get out so much as a word before she’s cut off by the jeering fans.

Brooks: Isn’t he adorable?

The fans are all the more enraged as Brooks gestures to the toy contained in the stroller.

Robin: He’s got his daddy’s eyes.

Her twisted grin intensifies the louder the crowd boos her.

Robin: What’s wrong? Why are you all booing me?

The question elicits intensified rage.

Brooks: All I’m trying to do is please my man. That’s it. That’s all I’ve ever wanted to do, was make him happy. For years I bent over backwards trying to “placate” Parkwood. In spite of his loosing streak, his really, really LONG loosing streak, his bumbling tomfoolery, and his selfish, “me, me, me” attitude, I kept my mouth shut. I played along. I gave him some slack, although now I see I should have been tightening the leash. But let’s not dwell on failure…..which means I shouldn’t even be talking about Steven…..

The boos grow louder and her grin grows wider.

Robin: Instead let’s discuss the newest addition to the Brooks/Parkwood household, lil Stevie here.

She gestures once more to the stroller.

Robin: I know, I know, technically this isn’t a real baby, but its close. I mean, it spits up and pees and everything. This is as close to having a REAL baby as Steven’s ever going to get.

Katie: Hahahahaha.

Robin’s truly distasteful statements are meant with a whole new level of disdain from the crowd.

Brooks: You see, unfortunately Steven is as impotent in the bedroom as he is in the ring, so he’s never going to have actual children. Plus, what woman, besides me, would ever risk having kids with him? Think about it, isn’t it a sin against humanity to bring another Steven H. Parkwood into the world?

Despite the fact that she’s trying to look serious she can’t help but to giggle.

Robin: And I don’t think it be very cost prohibitive to spawn a lil Steven, I imagine the special ed classes and the countless years of therapy would cost a fortune. Truth be told, I don’t need two mongoloids ruining my life.

She pauses due to the crowd drowning her comments in heckles.

Brooks: But having a fake baby, one that didn’t come from Steven’s weak seed, will fix everything. It solves all our problems. It will give you the child you’ve always wanted Steven, one that won’t suffer, in much the same way that our relationship suffered, because of your idiocy and negligence. If you think I would ever entrust a REAL baby in your hands, Steven, you’ve truly lost what shred of sanity you had left……

House of the Rising Sun hits the PA system and immediately increases the width of Brooks’ grin. Clearly she was banking on this interruption.

Mayne: And I think the fish just took the bait.

Katie: Yes, that is what Hurse smells like.

After listening to every disgusting comment that Robin has made towards him, Hurse has finally reached his breaking point. The line has been crossed and there is obviously no going back. With emotions running high Hurse stomps down the ramp and towards the ring, Robin following him with her gaze, never loosing her conniving grin. She watches as he makes it to the steps, to the apron and eventually into the ring. Along with the microphone in his hand he’s also brought along a swell of intensity and pint up aggression.

Hurse: Why Robin?

As cliché an ambiguous the question may be Hurse does not hesitate in asking it anyway.

Hurse: Why are you still at it? Why do you have to keep twisting the knife in a little deeper?

Robin shrugs and provides a blunt answer.

Robin: It’s fun.

Hurse is so shocked by her straightforward reply that he’s literally rendered mute. Brooks: And I think I DESERVE to have a little fun at your expense.

Hurse: Wait, wait, wait, you call parading around pretending to be pregnant, deluding me into the belief that I had a SON, fun? This is what gets you going?

Brooks: Pretty much, yeah.

Again he’s stricken silent. Robin: Why are you so surprised?

Hurse: Yo-you-you don’t even resemble the woman I fell in love with.

Brooks: Of course, because I’m now the woman you made me.

The thought that he’s responsible for the villainous vixen, callous, conniving and cavalier about every sin she commits, shakes Hurse to his core.

Robin: In a way, Steven, you’re responsible for all of this. Not, in a way, your ENTIRELY responsible.

Hurse: Hey now, I’m not the one who ripped off the plot to that ridiculous Tina Fey movie.

Robin: No, but you are the one who taught me everything I know about getting in people’s heads, about crushing their spirits, about having no sympathy, no regret. I learned from our experience together, I learned a lot, Steven, and you were my teacher. Remember the first lesson? When you had me set up my ex lover, Killjoy? Maybe you should have been the one learning from that whole ordeal. Because then you could have foreseen what I’m doing to you right now. You know that nobody walks away from me without paying a heavy toll. I didn’t let Deakin do it, and I’m not gonna let you. Especially not after everything you put me through.

Hurse gestures to himself.

Hurse: Let’s not deflect here….

Brooks: No, you caused me more heartache and grief than Deakin ever could. You broke up what could have been something real between Nathan Creed and I, clouded my judgment, and then went on torture me for years. Now your getting your just deserts my lil’ gummy worm.

Hurse’s face twitches as one of his many pet names for Brooks is exploited against him.

Brooks: Everyone that I loved walked away from me because of you. You’ve cost me title gold again and again and again. You constantly pulled me into your lame adventures and destroyed my credibility by making me look like an idiot. You drained the life out of Steven. You’ve been like a pillow held over my face, suffocating me.

Hurse: Oh yeah. Let thee who be without sin cast the first stone….or something like that. You gave just as good as you took. Don’t think I’ve forgotten Brooks, don’t think I forgot that one night two years ago when you left the Mayonnaise sitting outside of the fridge all night long, and it was totally spoiled the next morning. You knew I was planning to use it to make French Toast, you knew and you didn’t care.

Robin: See, your doing it again.

Brooks tries to calm herself by rubbing her temple with a knuckle.

Brooks: I’m not a pawn in your little games anymore, Steven. I don’t have to suffer you any longer. Because now it’s your turn to suffer ME. And if you think this whole plot with the baby was bad, you haven’t seen anything yet. I’m not through with you by a long shot. This relationship will end when I say you’ve had enough.

Hurse just keeps shaking his head, arms crossed, demoralized eyes glancing over the crowd.

Robin: You think you’re gonna be the one who ends our six year relationship? Ha! No way that’s happening, and no way you’re getting off that easy.

Hurse: So that’s how it’s gonna be?

She nods.

Hurse: That’s how we end this?

Brooks: It’s the only way it can end.

Hurse: Oh come on, there are plenty of ways this whole sordid affair could have played out. You could have simply let me walk away and let bygones be bygones….

Her head stops nodding so it can shake.

Hurse: You could have stopped and realized what a spoiled bitch you’ve turned into and come to your senses.

Her head shakes, as in trembles, this time.

Hurse: Or it could very well end like this.

A boot sails into Brooks’ stomach, doubling her over. The fans froth at the mouth as Hurse steps over her head, hooks his arms around her waist and now lifts her into a precarious upside down position.

Mayne: Don’t you dare Hurse! Don’t cross this line.

Without remorse or hesitation Hurse steps over Brooks’ biceps and slams the screaming Queen of the IWC face first into the canvas with the Sanitizer.

Billy: Nooo-ho-ho-ho-ho…

Billy continues to weep at the sight of Hurse’s Styles Clash variation, one that puts the final nail in the coffin, closing the book on a long chapter in both his and Brooks’ lives.

Katie: Got to love the IWC and their leniency on spousal abuse.

Mayne: Goddess bless it, but Goddess damn Hurse for this cowardly, reprehensible attack.

Hurse remains on his knees, leaning over Brooks who quivers on the canvas. Drool seeps from the corner of her mouth, pocketing under her cheek that is pressed to the canvas. All the while Hurse leans forward talking gently into her ear. The microphone is just close enough to hear the message.

Hurse: This is gonna end Brooks, it’s gonna end at Paranoia VII. Why? Because I say it will. And what I demand, well, it happens. Now that the pussy whipped Parkwood is dead, at your hands, there stands a new man, or more accurately, the man of old, the Master of Control.

He plants a kiss on her cheek then rolls across the ring, evading the squared circle. As soon as his feet hit the mats, leaving a lasting impression on Brooks just weeks removed from their clash at Paranoia VII, The Sacrament tears through the PA system and the fans react loudly. Their response is a mixture of cheers and boos. Those who boo Riggs do so based on his reprehensible sins committed against Too Magnificent earlier in the night and over the past several months. Those who cheer him do so because of the circumstances of his arrival. They realize that he’s scheduled to face the Black Widow here tonight and is obviously intent on doing so at this very moment. Hurse merely stands back and watches Riggs hurries towards the ring, walking at a very brisk pace and wearing a plotting expression on his face.

Mayne: I don’t know how, but somehow this has just got even worse for Robin Brooks. Riggs coming out to face Robin but she is in absolutely no condition to compete.

Katie: This is so like Generation Now, taking advantage of the Five Star Society when we’re down.

Mayne: Is there STILL a Five Star Society?

Robin just so happens to roll to her back, beginning to recover, just as Riggs climbs the nearest turnbuckle, ascending to the top rope. He only takes a moment to position himself before going airborne, flying across the ring into a devastating frog splash right against Brooks’ sternum. Robin flops like a fish beneath her opponent, who immediately hooks her legs for the three count.

Mayne: This is…this is….this is….SICKENING!

Katie: I can’t stand to watch, mostly because Riggs is like right in front of my face, disssssgusting.

Mayne: The referee better not allow this.

Into the ring now slides referee Wright, who calls for the bell to jump start this match then falls to the canvas and makes the count.

1

2

3!

The packed house roars as Riggs has just picked up the win over Robin Brooks, pinning her within seconds, all thanks to the pre-bout Sanitizer delivered by a satisfied Parkwood. He watches from the outside of the ring with a grin of his own, one far wider than Robin’s.

Billy: I can’t even begin to interpret how mad I am without smashing something. Quick, give me something easy to smash.

Katie: I’m mad too, but I’m not going to show it because it’ll give me wrinkles.

Mayne: Robin was just SCREWED by Hurse, and once again she gets no satisfaction out of it.

Hurse backs up the ramp, glaring into the squared circle where Brooks begins to stir, snapping out of her incoherent condition. She wishes she had remained out cold when she opens her eyes and sees Riggs standing above her, his arm raised in victory.

Billy: Ohhh how I’m anticipating Paranoia VII. I cannot wait to see Brooks gouge Hurse’s eyes from their sockets and rip out his abusive tongue. Why does that sound kinky to me?

Katie: Because you’re a very disturbed, creepy individual.

Billy: Oh yeah. But it doesn’t make what I’m saying any less true.

Steward: Of course not. Robin will have her payback, and she’ll have it at Paranoia VII.

Inside of the ring a recovered Brooks rests on her knees, arms gripping her banged up ribs and her teeth grating to the point of creating sparks. Her eyes divert from Riggs, who is now standing on a turnbuckle, praising himself to the grin on Hurse’s face. The fact that he can smile, even after everything she’s put him through truly turns Brooks’ stomach. In response she grabs hold of the stroller that was within arm’s length and drags it down, causing the plastic baby to spill out. She then grabs it’s head and rips it clean from the body before throwing it out of the ring. It lands rather symbolically at Hurse’s feet.

His grin is lost the moment he looks from the head back up into the fiery eyes of his passionate ex lover.

SHINING IN THE SKY SO BRIGHT

With emotions running out of control everywhere in the building, the backstage area has not been exempt. In the midst of Jason Zero’s search for Jake Starr, the implosion of the Five Star Society, and the tantrum of Jackson Adams, the crowd is forced to digest even more insanity hailing from the gorilla position. Their eyes squint, trying to determine if what they’re seeing is true. They have trouble believing what their eyes are forced to bear witness to. Headed towards the ring is a man dressed in a long black leather trenchcoat. Although the only thing that can be seen is his back, one can determine the outlines and contours of his face, or more accurately, the mask that is placed over it.

Mayne: Ummm, am I seeing things, or is that Zero?

Katie: Haven’t we seen enough of him already?

Mayne: No, no, I mean the ORIGINAL Zero, mask and all.

Steward: If so, thank Goddess he put that thing back on.

Who we can safely assume is Jason Zero, once again dawning his mask for some inexplicable reason, continues to head down the corridor leading ultimately to the ring.

Mayne: What the hell is gonna happen next here tonight?

COMMERCIAL BREAK

PARLOR TRICKS

The show returns live to the interior of the packed arena, where both Riggs and Suzie Clover continue to linger in the ring. Strangely enough, even with her neck still in a brace, Clover looks dressed and ready to compete. Thankfully Riggs has a microphone in hand, ready to give an explanation.

Mayne: Riot! returning on what may be the most chaotic night in IWC history, and it doesn’t look like things are gonna settle down.

Katie: Oh, good heavens no. This is just like a Michael Bay movie, we never get a quiet, thought provoking moment. Instead it’s flashy colors and explosions every ten seconds.

Billy: I love explosions, and flashy colors, especially when the flashy colors are explosions.

Steward: Exactly.

The crowd tries to simmer down while Riggs gives away all the exposition. Behind him Suzie is throwing punches and kicks, clearly limbering herself up for battle.

Riggs: Tonight we’ve seen several confrontations a long time in the making, and far be it from Suzie and I to buck that trend. Which is precisely why we’re out here.

Mayne: Get to the point already. I know I’m fed up with looking at him…

Katie: Your not the only one.

Billy: I can’t believe what he did to Brooks before the break, GAAAR it has me so, ARGH!

Steward: Ditto.

Riggs: Suze has decided it’s high time for her to stop playing the victim. This woman defeated THE World Heavyweight Champion, in her FIRST match.

The crowd doesn’t take kindly to being reminded of this fact. Suzie clearly does.

Riggs: She’s proven that she’s as dangerous as she is beautiful. But apparently one man hasn’t got that message. I’m referring to Too Magnificent….

The mere mention of his name results in a massive out pouring of respect.

Riggs: That deviant STALKER who follows Suzie’s every step just waiting for the opportunity to lash out and terrorize her. We’re not easily terrified Too Magnificent. I think we proved that earlier tonight when Clover crushed what little manhood you had left.

This insinuation once again causes two vastly different reactions from Suzie and the crowd.

Riggs: And we’re gonna prove it here, yet again, RIGHT NOW.

Mayne: What is he….

Riggs: Suzie is gonna show you that she’s not your victim, and that you do not terrify her, and she’s gonna do it by beating you in the center of this ring. We’re making an impromptu challenge right here and right now. Suzie Clover versus Too Magnificent….

The crowd gasps at the thought as Clover continues to stretch and work her muscles in anticipation of a war.

Mayne: Is he serious? Ummmm, hello, I’m pretty sure Too Magnificent is in no condition whatsoever to wrestle. He could barely even breathe after his match against AWOL, and the beat down afterwards.

Katie: Yeah, I’m pretty sure Suzie and Riggs know this.

Mayne: Wh-why…? OHHHHHH.

Steward: You still don’t get it, do you?

Billy: I’m totally lost.

Riggs continues to bait Too Magnificent, who he knows will not show up for this match given the severe injuries he withstood at the hands of AWOL and Generation Now mere moments earlier.

Riggs: Are you gonna accept, Too Magnificent? Or are we gonna have Wright here….

A reference is finally made to referee Stuart Wright who sullenly hangs back in the corner of the ring, clearly wanting no part in this travesty. He waves to the audience despite his feelings on this whole ridiculous charade.

Riggs:….disqualify you and give Suzie the win via forfeit?

This is clearly what Riggs and Clover are anticipating, and now that the crowd is clued in they heckle the pear all the louder.

Riggs: Are you afraid Too Magnificent? Are you afraid of what will happen if you actually attack Suzie face to face instead of always leaping at her from the shadows? Why don’t you stop hiding and be a man, Too Magnificent? What? Do you think she’ll injure you before we face off at Paranoia? Don’t worry about that. I told her to take it easy on you tonight, to leave a little something for me when we fight over this….

He lifts the N.H.B Championship from his shoulder into the air.

Riggs: Come on Too Magnificent, you gonna do it? Or are you gonna admit that Suzie is superior to you? That you attack her only because you FEAR her and you FEAR me. She’s not gonna let you use her to lash out at me any more, Too Magnificent. You may be too meek to come at me straight up, so you target Clover, but those days are over. She’s standing here in the ring ready to humiliate you, do you have the courage to accept her invitation? Are you going to keep hiding Too Magnificent? Well are you, ARE YOU!?!

He pretends to be disgusted by the lack of a response.

Riggs: You know what ref, go ahead and ring the bell. MAYBE he’ll show up then.

Clear by the sarcastic tone in his voice, Riggs is very pessimistic about Too Magnificent actually reacting to the challenge. More than likely the Golden Goliath is somewhere receiving medical aid, completely unaware of what’s even transpiring in the ring. Riggs and Suzie are well aware of this, which is why they are so delighted when the official does as told and calls for the bell. It chimes in the background with Riggs standing behind Suzie, rubbing her shoulders to get her physically ready before he leaves the ring.

Mayne: This is a total and utter farce. I kind of like it.

Katie: Your alliances change so rapidly it gives me a splitting migraine.

Suzie leans forward, palms placed on her knees, looking eager to get her hands on the man who tossed her from the top of Hell in a Cell last week. She wears a very mean, intimidating expression on her face, intensity brightly shinning in her eyes. The fans are as disappointed as Riggs pretends to be over the lack of Too Magnificent’s presence. The curtains just sway back and forth, no one passing through them.

Riggs: See? Do you see?

He gestures to the entry way.

Riggs: I knew Too Magnificent was weak. That he couldn’t handle the punishment we’ve been dealing out on him week after week. He’s the one terrified. Terrified of what Suzie and I will do next. I doubt he’ll even show up at Paranoia VII. You know what ref, why don’t you do everyone a favor and just go ahead and count Too Magnificent out, he clearly doesn’t give a damn about putting on a wrestling show for these fans.

As much as Riggs TRIES to act disgusted the fans can see right through his performance. They boo and boo vehemently as Wright swallows his pride and begins to make the count.

Ref: 1! 2! 3! 4! 5! 6! 7!....

The crowd counts along anxiously, all eyes watching the stage hoping that Too Magnificent can somehow muster the strength to answer the challenge, even though he’s nowhere in the vicinity of a monitor.

Ref: 8! 9! 10!

The official flaps his arms through the air and bell rings throughout the building. It can barely be heard over the “bullshit” chants and impassioned cries of the crowd. Riggs re-enters the ring and grabs Suzie’s wrist, lifting her arm up in the air to celebrate this victory.

Riggs: It looks like Suzie Clover remains undefeated and Too Magnificent continues to hide in the shadows, shivering like a child.

The crowd has had enough of this FARCE, many of them throwing some trash into the ring, pelting Riggs and the smiling Clover with garbage.

Mayne: There you have it. Suzie Clover just beat Too Magnificent via count out. I guess Riggs was right for once. Too Magnificent is weak.

Katie: Yep. Although we’ll probably see how weak he really is when he faces Riggs.

Billy: If he shows up, it’ll be a bloodbath between he and Riggs, but I think judging by tonight, I wouldn’t count on seeing Too Magnificent at Paranoia.

Steward: I wasn’t counting on it, I was dreading it.

Riggs lifts the microphone to his lips while continuing to raise Suzie’s arm in victory.

Riggs: Too Magnificent has shown what kind of ma….

The sound of static is heard and the place goes dark. The titantron has that heavy snow as white noise comes through the speakers. Through the static, a red Z is painted on the screen. As the fans go nuts 'Symphony of Destruction' starts playing and the titantron shows images of the masked Zero posing, bowing, but not actually fighting in the ring. We even see him take his mask off but we only see his eye fully and clearly, inside shines the visual representation of the Eye of Zero. The lights suddenly flash on as we hear, over the mic, someone yell 'NOW!'

The color fades from Suzie’s face as Zero makes his way down the ramp, mask, leather jacket and all.

Mayne: I guess my eyes weren’t deceiving me. Jason Zero must have been driven so mad by Jake Starr emulating his tactics and using them against him, that he’s reverted back to wearing that cheesy mask.

Steward: Once again allow me to express how grateful I am about the wardrobe change.

Billy: I wonder why he’s coming out here and targeting Riggs though? I mean these two do have a very long history with each other, and just last week Suzie PINNED Zero. I guess if he can’t get his hands on Jake Starr he’s gonna take out his frustrations on these two and get a bit of revenge.

The fans are shocked by the change of Zero’s appearance, clearly he’s been compelled to let the darkness creep in and once again take hold. Although his face is hidden behind the mask the fans can imagine just how intense and brooding his expression may be, especially when he’s got his long time rival and Clover in his sights. After a long, highly tense stare-down Zero finally begins to enter the ring. Riggs demands that Suzie leave the ring as he does the same. Just when the crowd didn’t think they could be anymore disgusted by Riggs’ behavior he goes and walks away from a fight they’ve all been anticipating for a long time.

Mayne: Riggs going right….outta the ring? I thought he’d have plenty of energy left after not wrestling Brooks.

Katie: Don’t even get me started on that again.

Mayne: I can’t believe he would just walk away from the challenge like that. I know he and Zero have been waiting to lock up in a rematch. This makes him no better than Too Magnificent.

It’s obvious that Riggs and Clover came here tonight with no intentions of actually wrestling. They join arm in arm together, backing up the ramp and shaking their heads.

Riggs: I’ll fight him, when I’m ready to fight him. I’m not gonna waste my energy this close to Paranoia.

The two now walk around the ramp on their way to the backstage area. Zero following them with his intimidating glare.

Mayne: I guess Jason’s metamorphosis was enough to send Riggs and Clover running for the hills…..what the hell is this now? I must really be loosing it.

Katie: After a night like tonight I could understand why.

The crowd rubs their eyes, utterly perplexed and wondering if they are suffering from double vision. The reason for their confusion is spelt out the moment the camera shifts to the stage where Jason Zero is standing side by side with Kassie Khane. Much like the fans, the commentary team, pretty much EVERYONE in the building, Jason is bewildered as well. His lapse is quickly overcome, Jason filling in the gaps. His face twists with hostility and he begins waving his finger towards the ring.

Jason: THAT’S IT! You’ve taken this too far.

It is now 100% obvious to everyone that who stands in the ring is not Jason Zero dawning the mask yet again. The fans are finally clued in to the rouse once the facsimile removes the mask to show the face of Jake Starr, chestire smirk included.

Mayne: It was Jake Starr in that Zero mask all along? More mind games from the former SCW World Champion?

Katie: Yeah, it was kinda obvious the second you saw Jason’s face, which saddens me. He could at the very least cover it in a paper bag.

The IWC World Champion tries to maintain his calm, attempting to soothe himself in spite of his overwhelming urge to charge to the ring and mangle Starr. He runs his palm down his face, holding back his emotion. Starr continues to grin obnoxiously as he backs across the ring, arms outstretched to his sides. He actually motions for Jason to come to the ring while mouthing off. When Zero fails to take him up on his offer, Jason bends down and snatches the microphone from the canvas.

Jake: Is this it, Jason? Is this how you inspire fear in people? You play dress up? You mess with the lighting? You splash around some gasoline and set fires? What are you, a poor man’s Black Scorpion? No, worse yet, are you a modern day Phantasio?

Jason stews, still trying to control his very volatile emotions.

Jake: There’s nothing special about your little parlor tricks, your David Blain antics. Anyone can do them. And there’s nothing special about you either. You’re just another tally mark under my win column. I accepted your challenge not so I could prove anything to you, nor to myself, I’ve already shown that I can defeat the “all mighty” Jason Zero. I’m only in this match for one thing, the IWC World Heavyweight Title, MY belt that I’ve ALLOWED you to hold this whole time.

Zero shakes his head, clearly not buying into Jake’s comments.

Starr: You’re only significant because you stand in the way of my recovery of stolen property. At Paranoia, I’m reclaiming what is rightfully mine, and unfortunately for you that means we will HAVE to square off one on one for the first time ever.

Jason: Hmmm, you know what, Jake? Why wait until Paranoia?

Although he is beseeched by Kassie not to do it, Jason goes rushing straight towards the ring. The fans erupt as it appears that Starr and Zero are going to collide one on one here tonight.

Mayne: Here we go, we don’t have to wait till the grand spectacle. Starr and Zero are going to face off, and their going to do it right now.

Zero slides into the ring with no hesitation as Starr continues to bait him with his gestures and his comments.

Billy: We’re finally gonna see it!

Jason is mere inches from Starr when the lights in the building suddenly cut away, shrouding everything in shadows.

Mayne: Dammit.

Katie: AGAIN?

The lights continue to remain powered down for several seconds before they finally rise, revealing only Jason Zero in the center of the ring. A look of utter frustration rests on Jason’s face as he twists from side to side, looking for Jake who has vanished into the ether.

Billy: Starr disappears again.

Katie: Now if only we could keep him from reappearing.

Billy: There won’t be any vanishing acts when these two collide at Paranoia VII, when Jason Zero finally gets his one on one match with Jake Starr. When we finally found out who the better man, truly is.

Kassie climbs to the apron, shrugging her shoulders as Jason inquires as to Starr’s whereabouts. Jason shakes his head and dwells in thought, thinking about everything he’s going to do to Starr when their paths cross for the first time ever at Paranoia VII.

WHAT DO THE CARDS HOLD?

The camera shifts from the flustered Zero within the ring to both Billy Mayne and Katie Steward judgmentally shaking their heads at the commentary table. Mayne feigns enthusiasm while Steward yawns.

Mayne: That feeling is in the air, Goddess…

Katie: I hope your not talking about that loving feeling. If so I have you know I brought a rape whistle and pepper spray.

Billy: I’m talking about that feeling of excitement that only Paranoia can generate.

Steward: Oh, yippee.

Mayne: And as you’ve just seen, emotions are obviously going to be running high when Jake Starr and Jason Zero collide in one of three matches with World Title implications.

“Chasing Down a Dream” by Tom Petty plays in the background as stadium lights shine behind the backs of a contemplating Jason Zero and a grinning Jake Starr. A still photograph features the two standing side by side with the Paranoia symbol shinning in the background.

Mayne: Jake Starr claims to be the rightful owner of the IWC World Title after the controversial conclusion at 2 For 1 Special, will he prove it by pinning Jason Zero one on one? And can either of these men move on and survive the second World Title bout that night?

With the music playing in the background, continuing to build hype for Paranoia VII an image of Porno Lad’s face is superimposed over the screen. It then cuts to the intimidating gaze of Christian Savior. In a flash we now see the two shoulder to should with the Paranoia symbol juxtaposed behind them.

Katie: I highly doubt that the winner of Jake Starr versus Jason Zero will be able to make it past the victor in this match.

Mayne: What a guaranteed FIVE STAR classic it’s gonna be when Christian Savior takes on Porno Lad, the winner moving onto face either Jake Starr or Jason Zero in the main event. Will this put an end to the dissention in the ranks of the Five Star Society? Will we have unity after this epic collision?

Katie: Who’s gonna walk away with the World Title? Not that it matters, since I’m just gonna pin them and take it eventually, when I feel like it.

In another flash the images of Christian and Porno Lad dissolve into a close up of Pat Evans and Axl Evermore holding the IWC Tag Team Titles. This image fades into the next shot which showcases a cocky Katelyn Buehler rubbing the shoulders of the ultimate egotist Jon Rich.

Billy: Is Jon Rich gonna live to regret the decision he made when he picked Katelyn Buehler as his tag team partner and kicked Axl Evermore and Pat Evans to the side? I don’t see how he could of course, considering Buehler has nice, squeezable breasts and neither of them do.

Katie: Shall the Five Star Society claim Tag Title gold at Paranoia VII and in the process put an end to their long time rivals? Goddess I hope so.

This image fades into the next shot, featuring Robin Brooks kicking her hair back and then switching to Hurse sullenly shaking his head.

Mayne: In a match years in the making Robin Brooks finally puts an end to the debacle that has been her relationship with Hurse. I can’t wait to see Brooks finally break away from her ex by destroying him in the center of that ring at Paranoia VII.

Katie: When she puts an end to him she’ll be saving the whole world a lot of grief.

Billy: And we’ve just learned about this one.

The X-Class Title belt shimmers over the shoulder of Fox Arcane once he’s featured upon the screen. It then cuts to a close up on the menacing expression of one “Bad” Billy Mitchell.

Mayne: After their tag title loss earlier tonight there is now nothing standing between Mitchell and Arcane. Mitchell came to the IWC with the sole intention of ending Fox Arcane’s undefeated streak, can he do it and in the process capture the X-Class Title? We’ll find out at Paranoia VII. And it doesn’t get anymore barbaric than this…..

The camera captures the brooding, intense gaze of the Painted Warrior, Riggs, N.H.B belt draped over his shoulder. It then cuts to the equal as intense Too Magnificent, with a look of sheer madness in his eyes.

Mayne: The N.H.B Championship will be on the line when Riggs defends his gold against the goliath known as Too Magnificent. Over the past few weeks Too Magnificent has sent Riggs’ squeeze Suzie Clover plummeting, but will it be Riggs who takes the fall this time at the hands of his monstrous challenger?

Katie: I really wish that was the whole card, but then there’s this.

AWOL’s face quickly flashes across the screen before cutting to Simon Cagero’s, then Psycho’s. It finally settles on these three positioned beside each other, Cagero right in the middle of the monsters.

Billy: Also booked earlier tonight was this Three Way Dace, Ultimate Incentive match. The winner will receive the ultimate perk, any match, any time, any place they want for a solid year.

Katie: Again, I shudder at the possibility.

Billy: And the mystery will finally be over. At Paranoia the new owner of the IWC will reveal themselves.

A silhouette with a question mark in the middle overtakes the screen, the Paranoia symbol shining behind it’s back.

Mayne: All the stars are aligned. Everything is set, Paranoia VII comes to us live in just two weeks. Titles on the line, careers to be made, a new co-owner to be revealed….

Katie: Alright, alright, you’ve hyped it up enough already.

INGESTING THE POISON

Mayne: Speaking of hype….

A split screen features Christian Savior on one side and Shaun Cruze on the other as both men head towards the ring. Savior limbers himself up by hopping periodically, causing the SCW US Title to slip slightly from his shoulder. The Cartel Championship is noticeably absent from his other arm.

Billy: We are moments away from seeing the second Pick Your Poison match as Christian Savior collides with Porno Lad’s hand picked opponent, Shaun Cruze. I can’t wait to see Savior humiliate yet another Cruze, and lucky me, it’s next.

Shaun marches stoically, well aware of what’s on the line tonight, the possibility of a true career defining moment and the opportunity to avenge what happened to his brother many months ago.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

SHAUN CRUZE VS. CHRISTIAN SAVIOR
PICK YOUR POISON

The opening rifts of You Know My Name kicks in over the arena system, the crowd going absolutely crazy, some remembering that this was the Icon's music from long ago. Shaun steps through the curtain, to a reception normally reserved for the likes of Orlando, and he begins to walk down the ramp.

As he does, pyro explodes, following him as he slides into the ring, lifting his arms to another highly dramatic explosion. He climbs up onto the turnbuckle and raises his heads, clapping at those who are beginning to worship him, as he treads the path of his brother

Mayne: How much longer is Shaun Cruze going to continue feeding off his brother’s name and reputation? It’s pathetic. He hasn’t done one tenth of what Orlando has, and yet he gets these HUGE pops just because his last name is Cruze?

Katie: I’m surprised he hasn’t shaved his head and switched to shorty shorts to be even more like his brother.

Billy: Then they would be truly indistinguishable. Well, maybe Christian will give Shaun some identifying marks of his own throughout this Pick Your Poison clash.

Steward: Let’s hope so, and let’s hope this is brief.

"Coming Home" by Altar Bridge ushers forth a vile reaction from the crowd. They hiss and growl at the sight of the Rising Phoenix himself, Christian Savior as the struts to the stage. The Cartel Title glistens over the shoulder of the amoral Savior, who walks with purpose and determination towards the ring. A spotlight follows his every step as he makes his way up the stairs to the apron. His arrival is cued by a series of explosions that rock the stage and turnbuckles, an elaborate entrance fitting for the Rising Phoenix.

Billy: And here comes the man about to put ANOTHER Cruze on the shelf, Christian Savior. I just hope he isn’t too distracted by what went down earlier tonight, that he can remain focused on beating Shaun and not be side tracked with the issues involving the Five Star Society.

Katie: Of course he won’t be. Because like me, Christian realizes that everything will work itself out. After Paranoia, after Christian and Porno Lad are done beating each other to a pulp, they’ll get out all their hostility, all their tensions and then they’ll be right back on the same page again.

Mayne: Good, I feel better now.

Katie: I wouldn’t if I were you. I’d always feel depressed.

Mayne: Awww.

The bell chimes and the match is officially underway, Christian versus Cruze, Pick Your Poison. The crowd is very anxious to see this one go down, finding themselves on the edge of their seats in anticipation. Shaun looks ready to avenge the fate that his brother suffered by tangling with one of the very men who ended his wrestling career. Savior and Cruze step forward and apply the first hold in what should be a very emotional bout.

Shaun quickly swings around out of the collar elbow lock and traps Christian’s wrist, applying an arm ringer. It doesn’t take long for Savior to counter into one of his own, trapping Shaun in the very same hold.

Cruze demonstrates his agility by dropping down on top of his head and nipping up to his feet before swinging under Christian’s forearm and applying yet another arm ringer.

Mayne: These two going back and forth with arm ringers. I think it may only be a matter of time though before Christian starts to go after the head and ends Shaun just like he ended Orlando.

Christian doubles over, wincing in pain while Shaun steps behind his back, trapping the arm in a hammerlock at this point.

Savior supplies a rather straight forward counter, stepping back under Shaun’s armpit and reversing into his very own hammerlock. The crowd is intrigued by these old school wrestling techniques being displayed by the two. A flustered Shaun tries to turn from side to side in order to break the hammerlock before finally throwing a back elbow, one that Savior has the wherewithal to duck.

Shaun spins completely around as a result of the momentum and then finds his neck trapped in a side headlock by the Rising Phoenix.

Katie: Go on Christian, keep giving Shaun a wrestling lesson, something tells me he really needs one.

Mayne: Yeah, preferably one not given by Orlando. That pretty much does nothing but set Shaun up for failure.

Shaun delivers a right hand to Christian’s ribs, followed by another, trying to break the side headlock. He now throws another shot only to have his fist caught, Savior slipping under his forearm and stretching it out to the New Icon’s side. Shaun groans as he finds himself trapped yet again in the arm ringer.

Billy: And we’re right back to square one.

The crowd starts a small “Cruze” chant, trying to give Shaun some inspiration to escape this hold. He finally performs a surprising counter, lifting his foot into the air behind him then swinging it down towards the canvas. The kick gives him enough momentum to go into a full spin, turning to face Savior then delivering an elbow to the Rising Phoenix’s wrists, breaking his submission. Shaun then grabs Christian around the neck, pulling him forward and trapping him in the side headlock.

Mayne: Dammit. Why must Shaun take this whole “everything you can do, I can do better” mentality, instead of just admitting that he’s the far weaker competitor in this contest?

Steward: Because he’s as pig headed and devoid of charisma as his brother.

Christian wraps his arms around Shaun’s waist and begins to back him into the ropes, both men ricocheting from the cables. He now tries to push him off and send him charging across the ring only to have Shaun drop to a knee, bringing Christian down with him, keeping the side headlock firmly applied.

Shaun squeezes at the neck, putting all his strength behind his biceps, applying a vice like grip on the former duel champion. In spite the air being deprived to his skull Savior starts ascending to his feet, on the verge of saving himself from this hold.

That’s when Shaun flips him over his hip and brings him down to the canvas with a side headlock take down. He puts his spine to Christian’s chest and applies even more pressure on the hold.

Mayne: Come on Christian, just slip out of this. Turn a little, you’ll find your way free. I know it.

Christian lifts his legs into the air and wraps them around Shaun’s neck. He uses the head scissors to pull Shaun down and force him to break the side headlock. Without delay Shaun twists his body and gets to his knees, turning so that he and Christian form a straight line. He tries to twist from side to side in order to free his head from between Christian’s knees only to have the Rising Phoenix sit up, reach out, grab his wrist, stand up and apply the arm ringer yet again.

Shaun remains on his knees with his arm stuck out to his side and trapped right back in this traumatizing submission.

Billy: And Christian gets him right back in the arm ringer, hahahahaha. He’s really showing off his superior chain wrestling skills now. Nobody is better at chain wrestling than the Rising Phoenix.

Katie: Ahem?

Mayne: Okay, MOST people aren’t.

Katie: That’s slightly better, but it still didn’t praise me enough.

Shaun suddenly reaches out, catching the crease of Christian’s knee and pulling up on it with his free hand. As a result Christian trips over backwards, landing on his spine but keeping hold of Shaun’s wrist. Cruze quickly ducks and rolls right over Christian, landing beside him where he applies another side headlock.

Mayne: Ahhh bologna.

The fans clap at the sight of Shaun once again getting into a dominant position, putting a lot of pressure on Christian’s head and neck. The Rising Phoenix finds himself trapped on his back, unaware that both shoulders are pressed to the canvas.

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Before a three count could be made Christian surprises the audience by actually bridging himself up from the canvas and out of the side headlock. He spins out of the hold and then quickly steps around in front of a still seated Cruze, grabbing him by the neck, applying a front chancery.

The crowd watches with baited breath as Christian drags Shaun to his feet and grabs hold of his tights, setting up for an impaler DDT.

Mayne: Alright, it’s gonna be over this quickly!

Just as Christian is on the verge of spiking Shaun directly on top of his head, Cruze reaches out, snatches hold of the creases of Savior’s knee and rips his legs out from under him. Savior falls to his back and Shaun steps through the elevated legs, attempting to apply the sharpshooter.

Mayne: Nyoooo!

The fans are overwhelmed with a sudden swell of adrenaline as Christian finds himself seconds from being trapped in the hold. That’s when he provides another surprising counter, twisting to his side, wrapping his legs around Shaun’s ankle and then drop toe holding him face first into the canvas.

Shaun hits the ring and quickly rolls to his back as Savior steps in looking to take the advantage. He reaches down in order to take Cruze around the neck when out of nowhere Shaun grabs him by the wrist and pulls him down into the triangle choke.

Mayne: Oh my, oh no he’s gonna get that choke locked in. This is the hold he used to beat Billy Mitchell last week.

Katie: This is making me cringe, which will give me wrinkles. I hope Shaun is happy that he may have just mutilated the most perfect face on the planet.

Just before the hold can be established Christian slips out of his opponent’s clutches and goes rolling across the ring, right under the ropes to the outside.

Billy: Sheeeeeeewww, that was too close.

Christian backs away from the ring gripping at his throat and looking panic stricken over nearly being trapped in the triangle choke by this rookie. Shaun is on the verge of going after him but is restrained by the referee, urging him to remain in the ring.

All the while a shaken Savior tries to reconcile with his shock as he now makes his way up the stairs to the apron. He hesitates for a moment before finally re-entering the ring.

Mayne: Christian got his breather and now it’s time to continue giving Shaun his wrestling lesson.

Cruze finally steps around the referee and goes straight after Christian who steps forward and blasts him across the chest with a knife edge chop. The stiff strike knocks Shaun back a few steps and now Savior hauls off and drills him across the jaw with a right hand. Shaun is sent spiraling across the ring, turning just as Christian comes charging in. He now reaches out and catches the creases of Savior’s knees, ripping his legs out from under him.

Savior collapses to his back and Shaun tries to step through the legs in order to apply the TOF. A pop is heard from the crowd as Shaun tries to apply the sharpshooter only for Christian to squirm across his back, reaching the ropes and desperately grabbing hold of them.

Billy: What the hell is going on here? Did Christian underestimate Shaun?

Katie: That’s impossible. One’s opinion of a Cruze can never be too low.

The referee forces Shaun to break the hold, demanding that he step back away from Christian who at this point is employing the ropes to reach his feet.

Shaun side steps the referee and goes right back after Savior who suddenly lunges into the air, catching him around the neck and setting up for the diamond cutter. The crowd squeals before Shaun shoves Christian off, sending him charging towards the ropes. Savior drops down into a baseball slide under the cables and lands outside of the ring. This time Shaun isn’t going to let him have a breather. He goes charging right after Savior, slipping through the ropes and dropping to the mats.

Christian high tails it back into the ring in order to avoid his highly aggressive opponent. A flabbergasted Shaun goes after him and in the process falls right into Christian’s trap. He is half way through the ropes when Christian steps in and takes him around the neck, applying a front chancery. Another loud groan can be heard from the crowd as Christian steps back, pulling Shaun through the ropes until his ankles are draped over the middle cable, keeping him elevated above the ring. He now snaps back right into a thunderous DDT that drives Shaun’s head almost through the canvas.

Billy: Now THAT was impressive.

Steward: Although it still pales in comparison to my own repertoire of signature moves.

Savior throws himself over Shaun’s chest, looking for the three.

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Shaun kicks out, surviving the deadly drop right on top of his head.

Mayne: That stubborn little bastard.

In spite of the kick out Christian tries to compose himself. He rises to his feet and puts the heel of his boot right across Shaun’s temple, playfully kicking at his skull.

Billy: Now is the point in the match where Savior just toys with his opponents. Why? Because he can and he will.

Christian takes Shaun around the neck and leads him over to his knees before delivering a slap right on the back of his head. He finally takes him around the neck, leads him up to his feet and then snaps him over into an evenflow DDT before floating into the cover.

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Yet again Shaun shows his persistence by kicking out. He rolls over to his elbows and knees while Christian steps in and applies another front chancery. He forces Cruze to a standing base then snaps him over into yet another evenflow DDT. He floats over into the lateral press for a second time.

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The crowd cheers at the sight of Shaun launching a shoulder from the canvas, once more staving off defeat.

Mayne: Why doesn’t Shaun learn from his brother’s example? Orlando never gave up in spite of the injuries that were piling up, and we all know how that ended. So maybe Shaun should do himself a favor now and just throw in the towel already.

Katie: No, that would be an intelligent act, which requires brains, which Shaun does not possess. The man clearly has less braincells than Orlando has hair.

Shaun is led to his feet by the back of the head and now charged across the ring and ultimately driven face first into the top turnbuckle pad. The collision rattles Shaun’s brain and brings him to his knees, face propped against the middle turnbuckle pad at this point. He uses the very items that just inflicted major head trauma to keep himself upright.

Christian takes full advantage of his positioning, backing across the ring and reaching under his pants to slide down his kneepad. He now gets a big running start before driving the side of his knee right into the back of Shaun’s head, sandwiching it between his body and the turnbuckle.

Cruze falls back, clutching at his damaged cranium and rolling towards the center of the ring. Somehow he begins to force himself towards his feet, getting his elbows and knees under him. That’s when Christian barrels across the ring and drives his exposed knee right into Cruze’s temple. The stiff shot knocks Shaun over to his back where he now lies motionless, prone for the pin.

Mayne: What I tell ya? If he had just given up Shaun could have avoided any unnecessary head trauma, but noooooo.

Christian fixes his kneepad then crawls into the cover, wedging a forearm to the new Icon’s face.

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The moment that Shaun kicks out Christian takes Cruze’s arm and places it across his own windpipe. He then hooks the crease of his elbow and pulls back on the wrist, applying a modified cobra clutch.

Billy: Yeah, there we go Christian, just drain the life out of him.

Steward: What life? Shaun is about as lively as a potted plant.

All the energy begins to fade from Shaun’s weary body. The fans can feel him slipping so they begin slapping the barricades and stomping their feet, hoping to supply Cruze with just the motivation he needs to escape this submission.

Mayne: Why don’t these people shut up and stop encouraging him?

Steward: They’re just as fickle as Shaun is and twice as annoying.

Shaun’s face goes blood red as the oxygen is deprived to his brain. In spite of this oxygen deprivation Cruze’s spirit begins to show, his hand clinching into a fist and his whole body beginning to shake as he starts to ascend to his feet. The crowd grows anxious and louder, convinced that their support is just the ticket Shaun needs to dig down deep and escape this hold.

Christian applies more pressure but it seems pointless, Shaun will not be kept down, not tonight, or any other night. With nothing but raw emotion driving him, Shaun reaches his feet and twists from one side to the other, hoping that is thrashing will free him from Christian’s grip. Savior is just as determined to maintain the hold as Shaun is to escape it.

Billy: Keep the pressure on Christian, hold on a little tighter for Goddess sakes.

When all hope seems lost Shaun suddenly drops to his seat, pulling Christian down into a jawbreaker as he attempted to hold on. Savior’s neck snaps back and he goes stumbling towards the center of the ring, somehow remaining upright. Cruze reaches his feet as quickly as his body will allow and then rushes at the disorientated Savior, looking to get the advantage.

Unfortunately he runs right into a leaping knee strike to the jaw. Now Shaun is the one staggered, somehow remaining upright long enough for Christian to drop to the canvas in front of him and then dive forward into a spinning heel kick. The back of his foot drills Shaun right in the forehead, knocking him to the canvas with Savior landing right beside him. He then crawls into the lateral press once more, hoping he’s done enough damage to win him this match.

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Shaun kicks out to an explosive roar from the crowd.

Mayne: How many shots from Christian’s knee is it gonna take?

Katie: Savior needs to learn the art of the Goddess Scream, that will fast track him to victory every single time.

In spite of Christian’s vow that he had no intention to hurt Shaun here tonight, he looks to go back on his word, continuing to target his opponent’s head. He stands up and stomps right down into Shaun’s face, causing Cruze to convulse and writhe around on the canvas. He now pulls him back up to his seat and reapplies the modified cobra clutch, really tightening his grip this time.

Mayne: Alright, if Shaun doesn’t tap out this time I’ll…..I’ll…..shave my legs with a pine cone.

Katie: I’m holding you to that.

Once again the crowd surges with adrenaline, trying to pump up and enthuse the downtrodden Cruze. After the many blows to his skull Shaun has little in the way of fight left in his system but he’s compelled nevertheless to keep at it. He lifts a balled fist into the air and shakes it, the crowd becoming even louder at the sight of this heroic gesture.

Christian leans back, providing a far more dangerous angle for his submission. However, it is not enough to keep Shaun grounded for long. With the fans united in support behind him Shaun begins the arduous task of rising to his feet.

Mayne: And the moron is getting up again.

The building rumbles with applause as Shaun puts one foot on the canvas and lifts himself to a knee. Christian is clearly enraged by Shaun’s resiliency and his inability to keep him from getting up. As the crowd chants his name Shaun is inspired to get both feet under him at this point only to drop right back down to his knees. He grabs Christian wrist in the process and flips the Rising Phoenix right over his back, breaking the hold.

Savior rolls forward across the canvas and ends up on his feet at the same time that Shaun is getting up and barreling in. That’s when Savior leaps into the air and catches Shaun right on the button with a dropkick, taking himd own to the canvas.

Mayne: Hahahahaha, so much for that.

Savior can feel the wind being taken out of the sails of the disappointed crowd, bringing a slight grin to his face as he crawls towards his opponent. Instead of going for the pin Christian sits Shaun up and once again sets up for the cobra clutch.

This time he can’t get it locked in though, Shaun rises to his feet and fights it, desperately trying to keep Christian from establishing the hold. Unfortunately he can’t, Christian gets the cobra clutch locked in and Shaun can already feel the strength in his legs cutting out.

In a last ditch effort Shaun pushes back and causes Christian to fall over to his spine, Cruze coming down on top of his chest.

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Christian is forced to break the hold as he and Cruze race to their feet. Shaun stands up and throws a wild haymaker that is blocked by Christian, who responds with a knife edge chop right across the new Icon’s sternum. He then delivers a kick to the gut that doubles him over before pulling down his knee brace once again and charging into the ropes at his side.

He ricochets from the cables and then lunges forward knee first right into Shaun’s temple. But wait, Cruze stepped back at the last second, causing Christian to miss his target completely. Christian spins around just as Shaun rushes in and nails him to the jaw with a European Uppercut.

The crowd reacts with loud applause as Christian is taken down to the canvas thanks to the brutal blow but quickly ascends back to his feet.

Mayne: Not these damn European Uppercuts again. They drive me loony tunes.

Katie: As do those type of obnoxious statements.

The fans are getting excited, realizing that Shaun is about to perform the classic baby face come back. He balances himself and then rushes in for another European Uppercut on his dazed opponent. He swings but this time Christian catches the inbound arm, hooking the crease of the elbow then performing a shocking arm drag counter.

Shaun hits the canvas and rolls it into dangerous territory, falling back first against the turnbuckle. He remains in a seated, precious position as Savior stands up in front of him, realizing that Shaun is exactly where he wants him. He now comes rushing in only to have a boot driven right into his stomach, nearly south of the belt.

Christian doubles over, wincing in pain while Shaun reaches up, grabbing the top rope with both hands. He now pulls himself from his seat, flipping back and ultimately ending up on the top of the turnbuckle. The crowd grows even more enthused as Shaun stands up on the top rope then takes flight, delivering a big missile dropkick right to Savior’s sternum.

Billy: Ohhh, that’s not good.

Katie: Neither is your commentary, but you don’t see me commenting on that every…..wait, yes I do.

The building rumbles with applause as Christian flips back, hitting the canvas with his head and shoulders then ending up stretched over his stomach. Shaun, feeling the momentum shifting, crawls into the cover, pushing Savior to his back and throwing an arm over his sternum.

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Savior kicks out to a loud reaction from the crowd. Shaun’s eyes widen, his mouth hangs agape, he is utterly shocked by Christian’s flash of bravado and intestinal fortitude.

Mayne: YES-hahahahaha, he kicked out and Shaun is just beside himself.

Katie: He can rip off his brother all he wants. Christian knows all of Orlando’s tricks, so Shaun is just doing him a favor in copying his bald sibling.

The crowd continues to watch excitedly, the pace having been picked now that Shaun is starting to stage his comeback. He follows up the Missile Dropkick by taking Christian around the neck and leading him up to his feet. Once upright Shaun shoots his arm across Savior’s chest, throws him up for what looks like a Rock Bottom but brings him down instead with the uranage back breaker. The fans rejoice as Christian twists from Shaun’s knee and hits the canvas, where he is promptly pinned once again by the newest addition to the IWC lockeroom.

Billy: Shaun’s not doing this!?! He’s not about to beat Christian, it CAN’T happen.

The official drops into position, making a quick, emphatic and exciting count.

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Savior’s shoulder yet again shoots from the canvas, leaving Shaun an emotional trainwreck. He rolls to his knees and slams the canvas with the sides of his fists, growing frustrated.

Mayne: Now we’re beginning to see that youthful inexperience from Shaun, something that Christian will no doubt take advantage of.

The intense Cruze backs into one of the turnbuckles and lifts his foot into the air before slamming it down to the canvas. There is a great deal of anticipation in the air for whatever move Shaun may be signaling for. The excitement continues to surge as Shaun rushes out of the corner right at the now standing Christian and drills him to the jaw with a roaring European Uppercut. The stiff strike lifts Christian off of his feet and sends him flying back across the ring, ultimately spilling across the canvas right under a nearby turnbuckle.

Mayne: This is bad, and it’s getting worse!

The crowd is one hundred percent behind the new Icon as he leaps over the unconscious Christian, extends his legs and drops them across the top rope, moonsaulting over backwards.

Mayne: AAAHHH!

WAIT, Savior rolls out of the way, causing the agile Shaun to change up his move at the last second. He lands directly on his feet and then rushes at the now upright Christian who’s back is braced by the turnbuckle. Unfortunately for Shaun he runs face first right into the raised knees of the Phoenix. The head on collision leaves Shaun in a very dazed, susceptible state, backing haphazardly across the ring.

A demented grin begins to settle on Savior’s face, realizing that Shaun is almost too perfectly placed for him. He bends down and twiddles his fingers out to his sides, gesturing for what can only be the Spear of Destiny.

Billy: Ooooooh yeah, here we go. It’s coming ladies and gentlemen, set your DVRs now.

Katie: They should be recording already, it’s not often you get a face this flawless on camera.

As the crowd screams, trying to alert Shaun, Christian builds momentum, rushing right into the spear. No wait, Shaun shocks the world by delivering a straight kick right to Savior’s forehead. The stiff strike causes Christian to stand upright, swinging his arms to keep from going over. Now Cruze rushes forward to seize control when Savior leaps into the air and catches him with the code breaker. The fans explode from their seats at the sight of Christian hitting one of his many finishers on a man already suffering possible head injuries.

Savior scrambles into the lateral press as fast as his body will allow.

Mayne: He’s done it, this has GOT to be it. The Cartel and US Champion on the eve of victory.

Katie: If he wants any of the FSS to follow him, he’s got to start picking up huge wins like this.

The official slides into position, hand slapping the canvas and the crowd counting along.

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NOOOO! Shaun kicks out and leaves Christian completely numb.

Billy: This isn’t right, this isn’t right at all. No one kicks out of Christian’s signature moves, especially not some rookie.

Savior’s whole body tingles as he rolls to his knees and slaps the canvas furiously with both hands.

Katie: Something tells me he’s about to teach Shaun why it’s best to stay on your back when in the ring with the Five Star Society.

Shaun begins to will himself up off the canvas while the fans chant his name, rallying in support. They give the Icon just the surge of adrenaline he needs to begin ascending to his feet. Once upright Christian cannot pass up the opportunity to take advantage. He rushes forward, spear aimed, locked and centered on Shaun’s ribcage.

He leaps forward only to have Shaun leap as well, leap frog that is. He jumps right over Christian who sails through his legs and rushes into the ropes.

The momentum carries him right into the cables, ricocheting from them and charging back towards Shaun who is waiting anxiously. Cruze catches Christian across the chest and the crowd truly comes unglued, anticipating the classic Rock Bottom.

He lifts Savior up into the air when Christian swings around his arm and lands on his feet directly behind the new Icon. Shaun spins around just as Savior lunges forward and connects with the spear. The whole building erupts once again, realizing that Savior is now mere seconds from achieving a victory here in Pick Your Poison. He rests on his elbows and knees, sweat dripping from his fatigued frame. He desperately tries to muster the strength to crawl into the cover and finally put an end to the newest Cruze in his life.

Mayne: Go for the pin Christian, you got it. You got it!

An exhausted Savior is mere inches from a prone Cruze, Shaun left defenseless after the rib splitting spear nearly cut him in half. His arm extends to drop over the chest just when…..

Douglas: Christian. Hey Christian!?! GOD DAMMIT, when I speak you better listen!

For once the crowd and Christian share an emotion, one of befuddlement.

Dan: What is Dan doing here, and why, why does he have the…..?

The Cartel Championship is draped over the shoulder of the Chairman. This only compiles more intrigue on top of Christian’s growing stockpile. Dan offers some answers to the mounting questions. As he stands on the stage he draws the microphone back to his lips.

Douglas: I don’t know what you’re thinking, Christian. Seriously, I have no idea what’s going through your head anymore. Which is surprising since the two of us use to be so in synch with one another. I mean, it was only a few months ago when we were two peas in a pod, as close as brothers in fact.

Savior sits up on the canvas, forced to listen to Dan’s voice amplified via the loud speakers.

Dan: At one time I even entrusted you with the duties of running the IWC while I was on sabbatical. That’s how much trust I had in you to make the right decisions. The type of decisions that I make on a daily basis. But now, ever since the 2009 Year End Award Show, you started to get careless, you started making the WRONG decisions.

There is finally an emotional response from Savior, eyes narrowing on Dan’s throat.

Douglas: You’ve had a whole new agenda, one that caters to you, and only you. I see now, that you’re just like Orlando, power has corrupted you, Savior. You’ve become just the type of egomaniac the two of us set out to run from this company. It’s just like Ethan said last week, you’re turning into Orlando Cruze.

Christian’s eyes now blaze with the intensity of hell.

Dan: I won’t stand for that, Christian. You’re no longer going to sully my name, my REPUTATION. Your ego needs to be put in place, you need to realize who is in charge around here, who has the AUTHORITY! It’s high time I reminded you who makes the RIGHT decisions and who that ULTIMATE decision maker is. It isn’t you, Christian. It’s me. It’s Dan FRIGGIN Douglas, the Chairman of the IWC, THE BOSS! YOUR BOSS!!

Douglas’ face grows bright red and trembles.

Douglas: I’m tired of you deliberately disobeying me, thinking you can go off on your own, that you can make decisions that only benefit you. That your more POWERFUL than I am. Kitty Buehler, she was crazy to follow a man only concerned with his own prosperity. That’s why you’ve caused such a stir in the Five Star Society. If you really cared about your teammates you wouldn’t have rocked the boat and you would have loyally assisted the hottest new commodity in the wrestling industry, Porno Lad. You would have assisted him right to the World Heavyweight Title. But no, you’ve chosen to stand in the way and hog the spotlight to yourself. That’s not what we’re about Christian, or have you forgotten that fact?

Savior blows off Dan as he rises to a knee, his gaze once again focused on Cruze.

Dan: HEY! Don’t you DARE turn your back on me.

Savior’s eyes whip around and lock on Dan, intimidating the President only slightly.

Douglas: That’s it! Now you’ve totally disrespected ME and the Five Star Society. You need an ego check my friend. You’ve forgotten that if I can give you the world, I can take it away too. That’s why I have your Cartel Title over my shoulder.

Christian becomes a bit more primal when it comes to other’s taking his property.

Dan: Do you happen to remember a certain pay-per-view event dubbed the Overbooked Extravaganza? I sure do, and so does the 2009 Wrestler of the Year. It was a great night for the Five Star Society. You and Porno Lad manipulated and played everyone involved in the tag team gauntlet, capping it off by screwing Johnny Kingdom out of the World Heavyweight Title. That was a classic, CLASSIC moment. BUT….it’s not the moment in that match Porno Lad and I are concerned with. What we’ve been fondly recalling and deliberating about backstage, is the moment you had Porno Lad hand you the Cartel Championship.

The thought amuses Savior, reminding him of the mental scars he’s inflicted on Porno Lad.

Douglas: All night long, ever since you STOLE Kitty from him, he’s been questioning me about the legality of just handing over a Cartel Title. You see, he realized that when it comes to teaming along side an unscrupulous guy like yourself, that you need the ultimate bargaining chip to ensure your loyalty. And that bargaining chip is the Cartel Championship….

The Cartel Title is raised in the air.

Dan: So I’m here tonight to fix a mistake that should have been corrected ages ago. I’m here to HAND OVER the Cartel Title to the man who TRULY deserves it.

Suddenly Porno Lad’s theme song remix hits the PA system, resulting in a shrill cry from the audience. Without hesitation Porno Lad slowly swaggers to the stage, looking as if he’s got back a bit of his confidence. The reason for his swagger becomes clear when Douglas forfeits the Cartel Championship into his arms. As the belt drapes his forearms a huge smirk forms on Porno Lad’s face, bringing the gold to his lips. He watches Christian from the corner of his eye while smooching with the title.

Mayne: What the hell? Dan Douglas has just GIVEN Christian’s Cartel Title to Porno Lad!

Katie: No, no wait. Porno Lad is the RIGHTFUL Cartel Champion. Don’t you realize that?

Billy: Sure, he may have gotten the PIN in that Tag Gauntlet at the Overbooked Extravaganza, technically winning the Cartel Title but he willingly gave the belt to Christian Savior moments later, a belt that Savior has been defending left and right. There’s no takie backsies.

Katie: Apparently there is.

All the color is swept from Savior’s face as he runs his trembling fingers through his hair. Small clumps are torn from his scalp and now extend from between his fingers. He looks absolutely sickened by the sight of Porno Lad holding his precious Cartel Championship. Now the Original Prankster has the audacity to lift the title up high into the air, Douglas stepping back and clapping for him. The scene is highly evocative of one just like it several months ago when Christian watched from the ring as a trophy he thought was his was instead bestowed upon Porno Lad by the Chairman.

Porno Lad: And eye for an eye, Christian. An eye for an eye, hahahahaha.

The thought of the mental stress he’s putting Christian under is enough to bring back Porno Lad’s smile. The grin only widens as Christian rolls out of the ring, having seen enough. He storms right up the ramp, going after Porno Lad who instinctively high tails it, rushing through the curtains to the backstage area.

Mayne: Christian going after Porno Lad, I think Douglas may have made things even worse within the ranks of the FSS.

Christian is about to step through the curtains in hot pursuit of Savior only to have Dan step in his way, creating a human barrier between the Rising Phoenix and the Original Prankster.

Douglas: I told you I’M the ultimate decision maker. I’m sorry I had to remind you like this but it was the only way to get you back in line, to make you stop throwing your career down the toil…

Savior grabs Douglas by the jacket and physically throws him down out of his way. Dan collapses across his back on the stage, looking up wide eyed as Savior storms past him and through the curtains.

Mayne: Christian-just-just-put his hands on the Chairman. He physically accosted Douglas!

Katie: Dan deserved it. That idiot may have just split the Five Star Society permanently.

As the drama outside of the ring escalates the action inside of the ring gets just as exciting. The crowd is now counting along with the referee, who is on the verge of DQing Savior by means of a ring out count.

Billy: Wait Savior, come back, come back. Your being counted out against Shaun Cruze.

The official keeps counting while Shaun recovers behind him, now resting on his knees with both hands wedged to his thighs. Sweat drips from his banged up, exhausted body, which is only kept going by sheer adrenaline. His heart races with each number uttered by the official. The whole crowd is growing more and more anxious until the referee finally announces….10!

Mayne: OHHHH NO! Christian has been counted out. Shaun Cruze has just won this match, maybe the biggest win of his career.

Katie: It is only the second.

Mayne: Oh yeah.

Steward: And probably the last.

You Know My Name by Chris Cornell blares through the speakers as Shaun falls to his face, palms planted to the canvas. He does not spend much time celebrating, mostly because he feels no cause to after winning by means of a count out, deprived the honor of pinning Savior straight up. Nevertheless, for the sake of his fans, Shaun gets up and lifts a fist symbolically in the air. That very same fist is not only used to symbolize Cruze’s victory but to defend himself the moment that Max Craven comes sliding into the ring.

Mayne: HEY! It’s CRAVEN. He’s after Shaun once again. This very same thing happened last week after Shaun’s win.

Max rushes blindly right into Shaun’s closed fist, being put on his ass with a well timed right hand. Shaun does not hesitate, even in his battered condition, to begin stomping forcefully at Craven’s chest. Max tries to cover up but cannot prevent the blows from connecting.

Billy: Now Shaun is beating the hell out of Crave…..YAAAH!

A steel chair is swung right into Shaun’s upper back, the shot reverberating all the way down his spine. There is only but the slightest bit of emotion in the lines on Jackson’s face, staring down at the warped body of the Icon. A dent is left in the surface of the chair extending from his hands, thanks to its meeting with Shaun’s spine.

Mayne: Adams just came out of the crowd and BASHED Shaun in the back with that chair. Who knows how much spinal damage that may have just done.

Katie: I’m hoping it was a lot.

Mayne: Craven came out and distracted Shaun so that Adams could assault him from behind with that chair.

The referee shouts at Adams, demanding he hand over the chair and stop this attack. That’s until he’s dispatched from the ring at the hands of Craven. Max shows no inhibition about grabbing the ref by the jersey, charging him across the ring and carelessly tossing him through the ropes. The official smacks into the mats while Craven shouts down at him from above.

Behind Craven’s back Shaun is trying valiantly to get up. He knows that his career may depend on it. He gets his elbows under him, then his knees, the crowd reveling in his slow upward progression. They compel him to get up, which he accomplishes before Jackson swings the chair into his upper back for a second devastating time. Shaun collapses right back to the canvas.

Jackson steps back with a twinkle in the corner of his eye, truly enjoying himself. In spite of the back breaking blow Shaun surprises everyone with his grit and determination, once again trying to stand up. Jackson takes a deep breathe and allows him to expel the energy to start standing.

Mayne: Stay down Shaun. Foolish heroics will only cause you more grief. Haven’t you learned anything from Orlando?

Now the fans plead with Shaun to stay down but for once he’s not listening to them. He gets up only to be taken right back down to the canvas via a THIRD shot from the chair to his upper back. Shaun collapses to the canvas, saliva seeping from the corners of his mouth, his eyes rolling to the back of his head. Before he can even think about getting up again Adams swings the chair down over his upper back for a fourth time.

The only movement from Shaun at this point are in his convulsions.

Billy: This is a savage assault on Shaun, which could have been avoided if only Orlando accepted Jackson’s challenge at Paranoia VII.

Although the sight in the ring is emotionally distressing the crowd cannot help but to celebrate as through the curtains storms Orlando Cruze.

Mayne: Finally….a response out of Cruze.

Orlando comes rushing down the ramp, chest heaving with despair and eyes weighed heavy with emotion. He reaches the apron, leaping to it and resting on his knees before Jackson halts his forward progression. He does so by wedging the top edge of the chair to the back of Shaun’s neck where the spinal column connects with the brain. Max shouts into a microphone, supplying the words Adams is unable to utter.

Max: Slow your roll, Cruze. Because if you even think about getting in this ring, Jackson will have no problem ending your brother’s career before it can even get started.

Orlando desperately looks from his brother to the chair precariously placed against his spinal cord. Although he NEEDS to get in the ring to help his brother, Orlando fails to acknowledge his desires. He remains on the apron and regretfully listens.

Craven: If you don’t want Adams to turn Shaun here into an oversized paper weight you need to give him an answer. You need to tell him right here, right now, is it on, or isn’t it?

Cruze doesn’t know how to respond, eyes turning from Jackson to Shaun repeatedly.

Max: Well is it!?! Are you gonna face Jackson at Paranoia VII? Or are you going to sacrifice your brother AGAIN!?!

Jackson has had enough waiting, he lifts the chair up into the air and brings it down towards the spine, on the verge of fracturing it.

Orlando: STOP IT DAMMIT! Yes, YES I’ll face you at Paranoia.

Jackson stops, the chair mere inches from Shaun’s neck. The crowd, although they don’t like the way it was brought about, scream at the prospect of seeing Orlando step into the IWC ring once again at the biggest show of the year. The microphone is extended towards Jackson’s lips, still held securely by Craven.

Adams: I’m sorry, what was that?

Orlando: You heard me. At Paranoia, Jackson Adams versus Orlando Cruze, one on one.

Adams looks towards the heavens and unleashes a sigh of relief.

Jackson: Thank you, Orlando. Thank you for giving these fans what they want to see. And thank you for finally coming to your senses. Unfortunately you were just a second too late to help your brother.

Orlando’s face is stricken with panic and shock as he watches Jackson drive the edge of the chair with all his strength into the back of his brother’s neck. Orlando leaps through the ropes to stop him but is a second too late to prevent what happens to Shaun. The chair connects with bone shattering force and sends Shaun writhing around the canvas in a fit of agony.

Mayne: OH MY GOD!

Katie: Goddess….Minion….don’t make me correct you again.

Every face in the building hangs long and sullen at the sight of the chair mangling Shaun’s spine and perhaps leaving him a quadriplegic. Despite the risk Orlando immediately takes his brother’s head into his arms, desperately gripping it, trying to protect him although it’s too late to provide any real safety. The moment Orlando entered the ring Jackson and Craven bailed. They step around the ring laughing to themselves as a result of their reprehensible actions. Eventually Jackson falls to his knees though and extends his arms out to his sides, looking towards the rafters.

Adams: Halleluiah!

Jackson praises God for finally giving him the match he’s been begging for. A match he’s pinned over for several years. A one on one confrontation with the original Icon himself, the former World Champion, a man who has been a constant obstacle to Adams spanning almost a decade, Orlando Cruze.

The Icon continues to cradle his brother’s head in his arms, eyes steaming with rage as they focus on the kneeling Adams and the gloating Craven.

Mayne: It’s on Goddess, Orlando Cruze versus Jackson Adams at Paranoia VII. It’s finally official.

Katie: Thank Goddess that his answer came too late to save his brother.

Billy: What a match it’s gonna be when the Icon steps into the ring with the Spectacular One. Jackson Adams, Orlando Cruze, Paranoia. Christian Savior versus Porno Lad, Jason Zero vs. Jake Starr! Brooks vs. Hurse! AWOL vs. Cagero vs. Psycho!! So much going on at Paranoia VII. What an event, what a night it’s going to be.

Orlando’s whole body trembles, swelling with emotion as his eyes interlock with those of Jackson Adams. It finally begins to set in that the two will meet, that Orlando will come out of retirement and face the ultimate test when he collides with Jackson Adams.

THE GAMES HAVE JUST BEGUN

Christian: FIGHT ME, ETHAN!

Christian rushes down a hallway, still pursuing Porno Lad and his coveted Cartel Championship. He’s drawn through a set of double doors, honing in on his target.

Savior: Don’t run like a coward, stand like a man.

The doors he burst through lead straight into the parking lot where the taillights of a limo illuminate everything, including the Cartel Champion, Porno Lad.

Porno Lad: Sorry to run, Christian…..

Savior’s head snaps around and focuses on the his title resting over Porno Lad’s shoulder. The Original Prankster addresses his now former colleague while standing through the sunroof of the limo.

Porno Lad: But don’t worry, we’ll be seeing each other again very soon.

The Original Prankster winks before quickly taking his seat. He drops into the safety of the limo, closing the sunroof in a hurry and for good reason. Savior leaps at the limo, landing at the roof and trying to keep the sunroof from closing.

Christian: Get out of the car, Ethan! Face me tonight, face me TONIGHT!

The limo begins to speed away with Christian still on top of it, forcing him to jump off before he gets trapped on the open road. Surprisingly he lands on his feet only to loose his balance and roll across the concrete, ending up on his elbows just in time to watch the limo speed out of the building, with both his Paranoia opponent, and his Cartel Championship inside.

FADE TO BLACK