OPENING VIDEO PACKAGE

WORLD TITLE ELIMINATION MATCH

The crowd is still buzzing after the inspiring, emotional events and climactic action that transpired just two weeks ago from the Windsor Armory. Many of the fans are still recovering from that wrestling redefining experience as spotlights race over their excited faces and they are hit with another dose of raw adrenaline. “OUTSIDER” blares through the PA system resulting in one of the loudest pops ever contained within the Manhattan Center.

Mark Comeau: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the first Riot! post Paranoia VII, and we are not waiting to kick things off. The newly crowned World Heavyweight Champion, Porno Lad, is about to put his title on the line RIGHT NOW!

The reaction reaches a whole nother decibel when Axl Evermore and Pat Evans step through the curtains side by side, the two wearing the very Tag Team Title belts they had to fight tooth and nail to retain. While the strap hangs around Axl’s neck, Pat allows his strap to drag across the steel grating beneath his feet. Evans appears stoic and focused while Evermore is hamming it up for his hometown audience, only getting them more excited for his World Title opportunity.

Billy Mayne: For the record I stand opposed to this match with every fiber of my being. This title bout should NOT be happening. Porno Lad just won the Championship at Paranoia VII, after wrestling two of the most grueling matches of his entire career, and now he’s thrown into a Five Way, a FIVE WAY elimination match for his belt? And it’s at the very start of Riot! no less? How is any of this fair?

Mark: Porno Lad claims that he was going to be a fighting champion. There’s only way for him to do that, and it’s to, well, fight. In order to be a true World Champion you don’t shy away from challengers, no matter how the odds may be stacked against you.

Mayne: Oh don’t give me that dribble. This is sacrilege and you know it. For Christ sakes look at this, Porno Lad isn’t just fighting four randomly selected challengers. The Tag Team Champions are just two of his opponents, and you know their going to work in tandem to eliminate Porno Lad, who has NO partners in this match.

Comeau: Yeah, because nobody can stand Porno Lad. He’s gonna find no allies in either Jason Zero, who feels that he MUST regain the World Title tonight, or Riggs, who has crossed paths with PL over and over again.

Billy: See, he’s screwed!

Now that the Tag Team Champions are in the ring the crowd is positively electric. Axl leaps to one of the turnbuckles and lifts his strap up high, resulting in a huge outpouring of cheers from the crowd. Evans throws his strap over his shoulder in the process of requesting a microphone.

Mark: And it looks like Evans and Evermore have something they want to say about this World Title Elimination Match.

Billy: It had better not be one of those “every man for themselves” speeches or I swear I’m gonna walk out.

Mark: I don’t think you would be missed Billy.

Billy: I’ll be as missed as Katie Steward. Where is my Goddess anyway? Where is she!?!

The crowd tries to contain their enthusiasm and quiet down so that they can bask in every single syllable uttered by Evans. Even Evermore calms down a bit, relaxing in one of the corners and paying his partner the utmost attention. The fans prepare to hang on everyone of Evans’ words when….

Dan Douglas: Wait a minute. Oh so sorry, oh so sorry.

The mood is effectively killed when the face of IWC Chairman Dan Douglas appears on the Cartel-tron. The owner watches on with arms crossed and head giving a judgmental shake.

Mayne: It’s DAN DOUGLAS to the rescue.

Mark: Every time I hear his voice my stomach starts churning, and for good reason. I think we were all disgusted by his actions at Paranoia VII, where he replaced an injured Christian Savior in the World Title main event with Porno Lad, who then went on to win the Championship.

Mayne: Don’t get bogged down with details, Mark.

The microphone slowly inches away from Pat’s lips, which twitch with hostility.

Dan: I’m afraid there’s been a little change to our schedule….oh, who am I kidding, I’m not gonna sit here and understate it….there’s been a HUGE change to our schedule.

Evermore mumbles the words “of course.”

Douglas: I’m afraid this match was put together rather hastily. Woops, there I go again….this shit was thrown at the wall to see what could stick. Thrown together by Orlando Cruze and Desolation, two men who have no business being in positions of power. Leave it up to me to have to abort their mistakes.

Again his head shakes and he falls to his seat across the edge of his desk.

Dan: If you think I’m gonna trivialize the World Heavyweight Title by having it defended against FOUR challengers, who like Desolation, have dove into the deep end of the pool without knowing how to swim, your off your rocker. I will not devalue the World Title in this twisted soiree.

Mark: Wasn’t HE the one who put this match together? You would think so given the footage released from the Evermore camp earlier this week.

Mayne: Again, your getting far too wrapped up in details.

Douglas: If the World Title HAS to be defended here tonight, Porno Lad doesn’t have a problem with it, as long as his opponents have EARNED the right to face him. And that’s just what one of you are about to do.

Evans and Evermore exchange a glare.

Evans: One of us?

Douglas: You heard me correctly. See, Porno Lad truly EARNED his World Title shot at Paranoia, and he did it by wrestling TWICE in ONE night. So Evermore, Evans, if either of you want a shot at the belt then you’ll have to do as Porno Lad did. If you survive a qualifying match then you’ll face Porno Lad later tonight for the World Title.

There is a mixed reception to this idea.

Dan: And your opponents in this qualifying match, well, just look to your right, hahahaha.

Evans and Evermore glance at one another once again, realizing they’ll have to face off if they want their shot at the championship.

Douglas: Whomever gets this pinfall will move onto face the winner of Jason Zero versus Riggs, and Porno Lad in a three way dance. And your qualifying match….well…it starts RIGHT NOW.

PAT EVANS VS. AXL EVERMORE

The bell chimes in the background while Evermore and Evans continue to eye one another. Axl takes a deep breathe while Pat remains rather stoic. It finally dawns on them that in spite of their camaraderie and teamwork over the past several weeks they’ll now have to go through one another if they want to achieve their individual goal.

Billy: That’s right boys, the two of you aren’t gonna be able to tag team the champ tonight. This is just a brilliant, BRILLIANT move on Dan Douglas’ part. They SHOULD have to earn the right to face each other for the World Title. It’s only right.

Mark: Don’t spit in my face and say it’s raining. Everyone knows what Douglas is really doing here. He’s softening up all the potential challengers for the World Heavyweight Title. He’s making them wrestle twice while Porno Lad only has to wrestle once. It’s totally unfair as it stacks the deck in PL’s favor.

Mayne: You and your conspiracy theories. You’d rather have the title be devalued through a pointless five person elimination match instead of having the belt defended against challengers who actually earned their spot in a title match bout. Don’t you see how it raises the prestige of the championship?

Comeau: Bull.

Although they may protest this bout Evermore and Evans are still on the verge of participating in it, the World Title trumping their alliance. Official Stuart Wright is now on hand to officiate what should be a classic one on one confrontation between the Tag Team Champions. Evermore and Evans now begin to circle one another before pausing ever so briefly to exchange a handshake.

Mayne: Oh, don’t make me vomit.

Immediately after shaking hands the two lunge in and interlock with a collar elbow tie, the two fighting for positioning. The opponents spiral across the ring, arms still intertwined, as are their World Title ambitions. After struggling for several seconds they finally break off and step back, realizing that this is an exercise in futility. A grin forms across Pat’s face as he and Evermore begin to circle one another, re-thinking their strategy.

Mark: These two know each other very well for a variety of reasons. Firstly they hold the Tag Team Titles and have trained extensively with one another to keep possession of those belts. Secondly, they have a long, historic rivalry and have fought each other in some of the most technical and violent matches in IWC history.

Mayne: Don’t bother me until they start beating the crud out of each other, that’s the only part that will entertain me.

After delaying for what seems like ages the anticipation builds to yet another collar elbow tie. This time there is no hesitation as Evans slips under Axl’s arm and ends up behind him. A loud squeal is heard from the crowd as Evans hooks Axl’s arm for the Spinal Tap.

Mark: Here we go, Spinal Tap already!

Mayne: Now it’s getting interesting.

Evermore deprives Evans of victory via a back elbow that clocks him straight in the jaw. The shot sends Pat into a spiral before turning back towards his tag team partner who catches him in position for that lethal Exploder suplex.

Comeau: Now the Exploder Suplex?

Mayne: Somebody hit something.

The crowd is thrilled as Evermore lifts Evans only to be caught around the neck. Pat twists as he falls back towards the canvas and flips Axl over into a front chancery take-down. Axl breaks out of his opponent’s clutches the second he hits the canvas, then rolls just as quickly to his feet. He spins around and glares at Evans lifting his fingers into the air spread apart by a smidgeon of space.

His eyes suddenly widen though when he spots Pat back on his feet making the exact same hand gesture.

Mark: Both men indicating that they were “that close” to finishing this match.

Mayne: Yawn. They both failed, which only adds prolongs my agony.

Mark: Well Billy, you should look at this way. The longer this match goes the more it favors the World Champion, Porno Lad. If these two beat the stuffing out of one another there’s not gonna be much left of them to face PL in our main event.

Billy: Hmmmmm, me likey.

The gesturing stops and both men step mono a mono, foreheads wedged together. They begin an exchange, not of fisticuffs, but of ominous statements.

Axl: This is how you want to do it?

Pat: I wouldn’t have any other way.

Evermore: FINE. The gloves are off.

After uttering this statement Axl swings a forearm directly into Pat’s face. The strike only dazes Evans for a second before he responds with a forearm shiver of his own. Both men begin to trade forearm shots back and forth until Pat reaches out and catches Axl around the neck, applying a side headlock. Evermore shoves him off and sends Pat charging into the ropes.

Evans ricochets from the cables and comes barreling towards Axl, who stands upright just in time to be plowed down to the canvas with a shoulder block. Pat drops down across Axl’s chest for the pinfall.

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Axl not only gets his shoulders up but pushes his whole body into a backwards roll. He flips Evans over, Pat ending up stretched across his back with his opponent now stretched across his sternum, reversing into his own lateral press.

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Now its Evans who surprises his partner by not just kicking out but catching Axl around the neck and pulling him over into a side headlock. Axl is now spread across his back with Pat seated at his side, wrenching the neck with all of his strength.

Comeau: This action as fast paced as we knew it would be, these two going counter for counter, hold for hold.

An aggressive, determined Evermore begins to fight his way up from the canvas, although he finds his head still trapped in the clutches of his former rival. The two work their way to their feet, Pat squeezing the cranium of his adversary with all his upper body strength.

Once again Axl wedges a palm to Pat’s kidneys and shoves him off into the ropes. Evans ricochets from the cables and comes barreling back towards his opponent for another shoulder block only to be caught with a drop toe hold on this exchange.

Comeau: He didn’t catch him with that shoulder block twice.

Mayne: Yeeeaaah, so that proves Evermore isn’t a complete idiot.

Comeau: Of course he isn’t, Axl Evermore is one of the most scientific grapplers on the entire roster, evident by beautiful transitions such as these.

Axl leaps to his feet, jumps over the crawling Evans and lands beside him, immediately trapping his neck in the side headlock.

Mark: Evermore with his own side headlock this time.

Pat slaps the canvas in frustration before employing all his leg strength to fight his way up to his feet. Once upright he pushes Axl off and causes him to break the side headlock. But wait, no, Evermore takes a few steps then reaches back and grabs his opponent’s bangs, utilizing them to pull Evans right back into the side headlock. Axl does not hesitate to flip him to the canvas with a side headlock takedown.

Comeau: These two almost mirror images of one another.

Mayne: Yet their personalities are like oil and water. Wait, is it PC of me to make a crack like that?

Axl only remains in the dominant position for long before he falls victim to a head scissors. Always the tactician, Evans reaches up with his legs wraps them around Axl’s neck and pulls him down into the submission, causing him to break the side headlock in the process.

The New York native is just as quick as Evans, rolling sideways across the canvas and freeing his head from Pat’s legs in the process. He stands up right in front of the seated Evans and then dives straight at him, catching Pat around the neck. Evans falls to his spine with Evermore landing beside him, applying yet another side headlock. Almost immediately Pat squirms out of the submission, bridges himself up to his feet and steps in behind his now kneeling opponent, trapping him in a side headlock of his own.

Mayne: Do something different! The side headlock isn’t working dammit.

Mark: These counters just demonstrate how well these two know each other and how they’re able to adapt on the fly.

Evermore’s flesh reddens as he rises towards his feet and then reaches out, taking Pat around the waist. He tries to push him off only to have Evans drop down to a knee, preventing being shot into the ropes. The stooping Axl tries to break the hands that are now interlocked around his chin but cannot free himself. Evans rises to his feet and then drops to his side, attempting to flip his partner over into another side headlock take over.

To the surprise of everyone, Evans in particular, Evermore is able to break apart Pat’s interlocked hands. Evans falls to his knees in front of Axl, who still has hold of one of his opponent’s hands. He steps around the arm so that he puts it in a hammerlock with the use of his legs before jumping over Pat’s back, grabbing his far shoulder and pulling him down to the canvas with a roll up.

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Evans kicks out, dropping to his knees in the process. The lightning fast Evermore leaps to his feet, steps over Pat’s back and looks to be pulling him up into a camel clutch, knees wedged to Evans’ armpits. That’s when he falls forward to the canvas, causing Evans to stand up on the back of his shoulders and head in a unique pinning predicament.

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Evans kicks out and in the process falls forward, landing on his seat beside Axl and then catching him around the neck, locking in, you guessed it, ANOTHER side headlock.

Mayne: Are you shit kidding me? How did he find another way to lock in that side headlock?

Mark: If it’s one thing Evermore and Evans know well, it’s how to apply a submission from just about any conceivable angle.

The kneeling Evans glares at the crowd with intensity, many of the ticket holders chanting his name while others vehemently endorse their home-town boy Axl. Evermore reaches out, wrapping his arms around Pat’s waist then falling to his side. He rolls Pat over, who is still trying to keep hold of the side headlock. As a result he ends up pressed on the back of his head and shoulders with Evermore bridging up beside him and still keeping his arms wrapped around Pat’s waist.

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Evans kicks out yet again to loud pleas from the crowd.

Mark: Evermore ALMOST caught Pat there with that roll up.

Mayne: Stop using the side headlock you idiots. Obviously it isn’t going to win the match.

Mark: No, but it will wear down your opponent.

After that last surprising near fall both men race one another to their feet. The second Evans reaches an upright base Axl spins around and cracks him in the ribs with a back heel kick. The blow almost causes Pat’s internal organs to burst and sends him staggering backwards into the turnbuckle, falling against it for support. That’s when Axl comes barreling in, throwing a lariat only to have it miss.

Evermore crashes chest first into the ropes and then is grabbed by the pony tail. Without remorse Evans pulls down Axl’s noggin and then delivers a bionic elbow right between the eyes. Axl crashes to the canvas, rolling slowly across it and clutching at his badly damaged head.

Mark: What a nasty elbow right to the face of Evermore.

Mayne: Heh, Pat getting aggressive. This is when I suddenly start paying attention.

Pat grabs Axl by the hair and uses it to yank him up to his feet, then grabs his wrist and whips him with authority into the diagonal corner. Evermore turns and crashes forcefully against the post, his arms falling over the cables in order to keep him upright.

The split crowd watches as Evans takes off across the ring and goes airborne, flying into Axl’s face with a jaw shattering forearm strike.

Mark: Another nasty shot right to the cranium. Pat looks like he may be setting Evermore up for the Time to Go to Sleep, hence all the side headlock attempts earlier in this match.

Mayne: Quit trying to rationalize everything, it’s appalling.

With a handful of Axl’s hair, Pat drags him out of the turnbuckle, rears his elbow and then drives it right between his opponent’s eyes yet again. The shot to his forehead sends Evermore tumbling to the canvas, crashing forcefully against it.

Comeau: Pat not holding anything back and that’s just the way this should be.

Axl is taken around the jaw and dragged to his feet before being taken by the wrist and launched into the turnbuckle yet again.

This time Evermore bends his head forward and hits the corner with such force that it sends him flipping up and over the top rope. He twists and lands on the apron just as Evans comes charging in. That’s when Axl grabs the top rope and pulls himself over, catching the inbound Pat with a vicious flying lariat right across the throat. Pat hits the canvas and Evermore lands beside him, then leaps to his feet urging the crowd to stand and show him some love.

Mark: This hometown crowd hyping Evermore up.

Mayne: Yeah, keep on hyping it, that’s ALL they can do, because Axl isn’t leaving here tonight with the title, neither is Evans for that matter.

The showboating stops so that Evermore can take advantage of his opposition. Pat is already back on his feet when Evermore steps in and swings a fist wildly at his face. Pat ducks the blow, and spins around to face Axl’s back. Evermore turns around and gets cracked right in the face with another bionic elbow. The stiff shot sends Evermore collapsing to the canvas then rolling straight across it back to his feet.

Comeau: Look at Evermore….

Mayne: I would strongly advise against that.

The fired up Evermore steps right up to Pat and begs for another. Pat obliges, rearing back with his elbow and swinging it right into Axl’s forehead. The shot knocks Axl to the canvas and sends him rolling across the ring only for him to immediately rise to his feet. He stands up and slaps both sides of his chest before unleashing a roar that gets the crowd all energetic.

Mark: Listen to this ovation for Evermore.

Billy: Again, something I would advise against doing.

An intense Evans comes barreling towards Evermore, going for the running bionic elbow only to have Axl duck it at the last second. Pat’s momentum carries him into the cables, where he bounces off and comes charging back towards his partner. Evermore leaps into the air and delivers a lariat right on target, nailing Pat across the throat and knocking him forcefully to the canvas.

The moment he hits the canvas Pat rolls to his knees, slaps the ring and then pops back up to his feet. His eyes are burning with rage and his features are twisted with intensity.

Mark: Now Pat shrugging off Axl’s offense. Both of these men have their adrenaline SURGIN!

Evans rushes to his feet and begins to step towards Axl, imploring him to try again only to have his mouth shut with a picture perfect dropkick. Both boots nail Pat in both his lips. The kick sends Evans spiraling backwards and falling into the ropes for support, his arm draping the top cable. That’s when Axl stands up and leaps into the air, hitting a second dropkick that this time sends Evans flipping over the top rope and crashing to the outside mats.

Mayne: It took two dropkicks to put Evans down? I guess Axl doesn’t have very much leg strength.

Mark: I don’t think its that, I think its….OH MY GOD!

The action is so quick the commentators can’t even keep up with it. As soon as Pat reaches his feet on the outside of the ring he’s taken down with an awe inspiring suicide diving headbunt. Evermore gracefully soars through the ropes and collides directly with Pat, both men collapsing to the mats as a result of their collision.

Billy: WHOOOOOAA!

Mark: Axl “Airborne” Evermore just took flight.

The exhilarated Evermore rolls to his feet amongst a piercing roar of approval from the crowd. He steps forward and slaps the announce table with both palms before lifting a fist high into the air. The reception only gets louder once he turns and throws that very fist into a wobbly yet upright Evans’ face. The strike knocks Pat backwards as he falls against the apron and then rolls into the ring.

Evermore climbs up onto the apron and begins to enter the ring when Pat leaps to his feet and charges in, trying to throw a knee into Axl’s temple. At the last second Axl retracts his head, dodging what could have been a fatal blow. He then throws a forearm over the ropes directly into the back of Pat’s skull. The shot causes Evans to stumble towards the center of the ring, putting him right where Axl wanted.

He grabs the top rope and now pulls him over into a flying lariat. He is just about to connect only to have Evans duck forward and catch Axl right on top of his shoulders. Evermore begins to shake his head with a look of fear in his eyes as Evans turns to the center of the ring then drops into a Finley roll. The crowd pops at the sight of Axl’s kidneys crashing into the canvas while Evans’ back slams into his ribs.

Mark: Beautiful, absolutely beautiful counter from Evans. You don’t see reversals executed as perfectly as that nowadays.

Mayne: Heh, I love thinking about how much internal damage that just did. Keep up the good work Evans.

Pat rolls out of the move to a kneeling base across the canvas. He briefly looks towards the fans who are jeering him and then to the ones who are screaming his name. Little attention is paid to either group as Pat rises to his feet then ascends the nearby turnbuckle, getting to the middle rope. After balancing himself Pat takes flight, soaring across the ring and dropping a Bret Hart inspired forearm right into Axl’s face.

Comeau: Pat once again going old school. You have no idea how many hours Evans spends a week just watching past wrestling matches to help him hone his craft. I think he would make a GREAT World Champion. Which he may very well become by the end of the night.

Mayne: This isn’t a Disney movie, Mark, fairy book endings don’t come true in the IWC.

Instead of going for the cover Pat grabs Axl by the hair and uses it to roll him over to his knees. He then delivers a straight forearm to the kneeling Axl’s face followed by a kick right to the cheek. The strikes knock Evermore to the canvas and send him rolling into the ropes, one arm falling over the middle cable. At this point Pat rushes in and drops a knee directly against Evermore’s kidneys, causing him to cry out in pain.

Mark: Now Pat looks like he’s targeting Evermore’s lower back, perhaps setting him up for the Spinal Tap.

Evans steps to Axl’s side, springs off of the middle rope and then comes down with a stomp right to Axl’s lower back. All Axl can do is groan and grit his teeth, trying to block-out the pain from his injured, targeted mid-section.

This isn’t made easy by Evans, who takes Axl by the bangs, drags him to his feet and then scoops him up into the air. Ultimately Axl is dropped with a Canadian back breaker right across Evans’ raised knee. A roar escapes from Evermore as he drops to the canvas and clutches at his spine.

Billy: Your right Mark, which is extremely rare, Pat is going after Evermore’s back.

Once again Axl’s hair is used to pull him to an upright base. He is then whipped into the ropes, Evermore ricocheting off the cables and staggering backwards right into a forearm strike to the kidney region. Axl bows his spine while his own body contorts from the pain.

That’s when Evans wedges a shoulder to his spine and lifts him into the air before dragging him down to the canvas violently with the back drop suplex. Immediately after Evermore hits the canvas, Pat bridges up from the ring and keeps a shoulder wedged to Axl’s kidneys as he flips over backwards. Axl is pulled along back to his feet and then lifted into the air for what appears to be another back drop suplex. This time Evans twists him though and drags him down kidneys first right across his knee with a modified back breaker.

Mark: Arrrr, a damaging combination from Evans going right after Axl’s back once again.

Pat falls forward into the pin, hooking Axl’s leg for added leverage.

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Mr. NYC gets a shoulder up to a rousing response from his faithful crowd.

Billy: Thanks Evermore, thanks for kicking out again. Yuck.

Mark: Axl has made a career out of fighting through injuries, out of persevering even against odds that are considered insurmountable.

Billy: That doesn’t mean I have to like it.

After the kick out Evans is driven to desperate measures. Although he may live to regret it, he puts Axl in position for a career threatening maneuver. He wraps the stooped forward Evermore’s waist and then lifts him up to his shoulders in position for a powerbomb. That’s not the bad part….or more accurately….the WORSE part. He seems to be aimed towards one of the turnbuckles.

Mayne: He’s not about to powerbomb Axl into that turnbuckle is he?

Mark: That could very well END Evermore’s career if it connects.

Billy: My wishful thinking paid off. Okay, okay, I’m wishful fooooor a lingerie pillow fight between Kassie Khane aaaaand Suzie Clover.

Remorsefully Evans rushes towards the corner, intent on doing whatever it takes to become World Champion, including powerbombing his opponent injured back and all into the turnbuckle. That’s when disaster is avoided via a lightning fast reversal. Evermore pushes himself over Pat’s head and then slips down his back, catching him with a sunset flip.

Pat swings his arms to remain upright before finally tumbling to the canvas. He is only caught in a pinning predicament for half a second, breaking out of it before the ref could even drop to his knees to make a count. Evans rolls back to his feet and grabs hold of Axl’s ankle in the process, lifting it into the air. He rolls Axl to his stomach and begins to apply the ankle lock.

Mark: Evans with another counter that could turn the tide of this match. He’s got Axl caught and he’s about to snap the ankle if that’s what it takes.

Axl flops to his back and bends his knees to draw Evans closer to his body. Now that Pat is within reach Axl is able to reach up, hook his forearm and drag him down to the canvas into the fujiwara.

Comeau: Another amazing reversal, Evermore catching Evans with the fujiwara straight out of the ankle lock. Can Evans hang in there….?

Mayne: Another counter…..why am I not surprised?

The counter being referenced is the one that Evans makes to escape the crossface. He rolls away from Evermore, causing him to flip over as he tries to hold onto the fujiwara. He lands across the back of his shoulders and head with legs elevated above him. Pat stands, twists, grabs an elevated ankle and tries to apply another ankle lock to the crowd’s piercing roar.

Mark: Right back to the ankle lock Evans goes.

Just before the hold could be fully clamped on Evermore bends his knees and draws Pat closer. He now catches him around the back of the head and pushes off his back, pulling Evans down into a small package.

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Evans kicks out and the crowd goes into hysterics.

Mark: Axl ALMOST caught Pat again. This match has got my heart beating so fast I’m afraid I might have a stroke.

Mayne: You’d be the only one worried about that. I think the rest of us would be thankful.

Once both men are upright, Axl hobbling to his feet, Evans catches him with a mafia style kick right under the jaw. The stiff blow echoes throughout the arena and sends Axl tumbling spine first into the ropes. He bounces off and comes limping right into Pat’s clutches, being caught by the shoulder and the thigh. Evans drops back into a release over head t-bone suplex, planting Axl’s injured back HARD against the canvas.

Comeau: A classic t-bone suplex from Evans to put himself back in the dominant position in this match.

Evans throws himself across Evermore’s chest, hoping that sufficient damage has been done to award him the victory.

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NO! Axl deprives Evans the opportunity to emerge from this match number one contender by simply shooting his shoulder free from the canvas. Clearly Pat has had enough of this back and forth dance, he rises to his feet, swipes the air with his arms and stoops, fingers twiddling out to his sides.

Mayne: What’s wrong with Pat? Does he have to go?

Mark: Nooo, I think he’s preparing for some type of big finishing maneuver on Evermore, which could very well be the Spinal Tap, a move that has finished Axl off in the past. Who will ever forget the top rope Spinal Tap Evans gave Axl in the Steel Cage several years ago.

Mayne: I completely forgot.

Pat waits for Evermore to exert all his strength rising to his feet, blocking out the pain in his severally traumatized lower back. Once upright Axl is caught from behind by Evans, who is trying to hook the arm so that he can hit his devastating half nelson back breaker.

Comeau: Here it comes.

Suddenly Axl drops to his knees and sends Pat flipping over him with an arm drag.

Mayne: And there it went.

Mark: A shocking counter by Axl preventing what could have been sure defeat.

With a hand on his back Evermore rises to his feet and charges straight at the rising Evans, going for a lariat. Pat not only side steps his inbound opponent but catches him around the neck in the process, beginning to lock in the Time to Go to Sleep.

Mark: He’s gonna get the modified million dollar dream locked in instead!

Pat is on the verge of applying a submission hold that has netted him several victories in the past, but not on this occasion. Evermore wedges his feet to the ring and shoves back, powering Pat spine first into the turnbuckle. Evans releases the Time to Go to Sleep the moment his back hits the corner post, arms falling to his sides. That’s when Evermore reaches back, takes Pat around the neck and then rushes out of the corner, intent on delivering the Fully Loaded stunner.

Mark: Stunner coming!

Mayne: DENIED!

Evans reaches back and grabs the top rope with both hands, preventing being dragged into the stunner. He clutches the cables with all his mite as Evermore continues trying to pull him into one of his many trademark moves. Suddenly Evans pushes him off and falls back into the corner. Axl turns in the center of the ring then comes barreling in only to eat a boot right in the kisser.

The stiff kick sends Axl twisting across the ring and trying desperately to balance himself. Evans takes full advantage, rushing out of the corner, hooking Evermore’s arm then heaving him up into the air for the Spinal Tap.

Mayne: Here comes the kill move!

Comeau: It’s OVAH!

Suddenly Evermore reaches back in mid-air, catching Pat around the neck then dragging him down into a stunner.

Mark: STUNNER!

The crowd explodes at the sight of Evermore reversing the Spinal Tap into the Fully Loaded Stunner out of nowhere.

Comeau: That had to have been the most amazing reversal I’ve ever witnessed!

Mayne: You need to get out more.

Mark: Will it be Axl’s ticket to the title match?

With his hometown screaming his name at the top of their lungs Evermore crawls into the cover and hooks a stunned Pat’s legs. The referee slides into position, slapping the canvas with all the force he can muster.

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3!

The whole building absolutely erupts at the sight of Axl Evermore picking up a very emotional victory.

Mark: It’s finished….Axl Evermore has just won his way into the biggest match of his career. He’s now going on to challenge for the World Heavyweight Title.

Mayne: You make it sound so climatic. We all know what the end result of that match is going to be. Did you not just see Axl kill himself to qualify for the World title bout. He’s not gonna have anything left in his tank to challenge for the championship, NOTHING. His world title ambitions will be over as quickly as Lindsey Lohan’s popularity.

Comeau: Your right about one thing, Axl just endured a war in order to emerge from this match with a shot at the championship. And one must question what he has left when he moves on to face either Riggs or Jason Zero and the World Champion later tonight.

The crowd is still celebrating, their lungs hurting due to their reaction. All the while Evermore is struggling to his feet, gripping at his lower back in the process and biting his lip until it is raw. He stands in order to truly commemorate this moment, his wrist raised high by the referee. After a few moments he staggers away from the official and makes his way towards a seated Evans. Pat looks dejected, at a loss for thought. His mind wonders HOW, how he could have allowed victory to slip through his fingers within a split second.

He runs his palms through his sweaty hair before looking up to spot the hand that is extended towards him. The still stunned Evans looks up into the face of his tag team partner, who makes this kind gesture.

Mayne: What is Axl doing? Doesn’t he realize this is like sticking your arm in a polar bear cage with a raw piece of meat in your hand?

Mark: This is what they call sportsmanship, Billy.

Billy: Really? Well I don’t like it. It makes me feel all tingly.

After a lengthy delay Evans finally takes the palm and allows Axl to help him reach his feet. Once upright Evermore pats Evans on the back and grabs him by the wrist, lifting his arm up into the air.

Comeau: Axl with a major win here tonight to qualify for the World Title shot. Can lightning strike the same spot twice? Can Axl Evermore lay claim to the gold and fulfill his destiny here in the Manhattan Center?

Mayne: Don’t make me laugh. Seriously, I have trouble holding my urine when I chuckle.

A standing ovation is given to both Evermore and Evans after that grueling bout to kick start Riot!

SHAME

Mayne: And look-hahahaha-LOOK who actually had the balls to show up here tonight.

Generation Now strops sullenly through the backstage area. Although Riggs triumphantly sports the N.H.B Title, and Max Craven seems to be brimming with confidence after his defeat of Shaun Cruze, an aura of dread seems to hang over the entire group. Jackson Adams’ depressed, drooped features leads Generation Now onward towards their lockeroom.

Mark: Generation Now has arrived just two weeks after their individual wins and losses at Paranoia VII.

Mayne: I can’t believe that Jackson would even bother to show up after he let his group down at Paranoia VII.

Comeau: Something tells me we’ll hear from the entire Generation Now sooner rather than later.

Billy: I wonder what impact Generation Now will have on tonight’s show. Oh that’s right, they won’t have ANY.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

NATHAN CREED & SHAUN CRUZE
VS.
TOO MAGNIFICENT & HURSE

An explosion of pyrotechnics shoot from the top of the Cartel-tron and liters the stage, creating almost a golden veil. Through the pyro emerges two figures, who haven’t stood side by side in quite some time. The reaction is piercing as Too Magnificent leads the way, followed closely by the Master of All Things Under the Sun, Hurse. While Hurse stops to pander to the crowd Too Magnificent stoically moves down the ramp, still sporting a bandage over his head, the results of a disturbing N.H.B Title bout at Paranoia.

Mark: It has been a very long time since we’ve seen these two work together as a tag team coalition, several years in fact, but when they were partnered up they were quite successful.

Mayne: I don’t see how, these guys are a bigger mismatch than oil and vinegar.

Comeau: Well if this industry has taught us anything it’s that polar opposites some times connect and make for tremendous tag teams. Their past success is part of the reason why Too Magnificent and Hurse have once again unified this team, hoping to capture the coveted IWC Tag Team Titles. All they have to do is defeat Shaun Cruze & Nathan Creed in this match and they’ll move one step closer to a match with the current champs, Submission Domination.

Once in the ring Too Magnificent does not refrain from reading Hurse the riot act, warning him repeatedly that if he should get distracted there will be hell to pay. Hurse tries to placate his partner by implying that he is 100% focused on the task at hand.

PAIN

Thankfully the roof to the Manhattan Center is secured, otherwise it would have went flying the moment that Nathan Creed and Shaun Cruze made their way to the stage. The technical tandem stands side by side listening to a reaction that threatens to burst their eardrums. Mentor then turns towards pupil, offers him some last minute advise and the two bump knuckles before embarking towards the ring.

Comeau: And here comes a tandem that hopes to carry on the rich tag team legacy of 3N, No Name Necessary, Nathan Creed and Shaun Cruze.

Mayne: Must Shaun infringe on all aspects of his brother’s career? He steals “The Icon” moniker, he steals Orlando’s finishing moves, he steals his entrance music, and now he’s stealing his old tag team partner. This is a joke.

Mark: I think it’s not theft on Shaun’s part. He’s paying tribute to his brother and carrying the Cruze family dynasty into a new generation. And Nathan has taken on the mantle of trainer or mentor to help Shaun fulfill and live up to that legacy. That’s why I think these two are going to make a tremendous pear, pupil and mentor.

Billy: Yeah, we’ve seen how well those have worked out in the past.

Shaun slides into the ring and immediately lifts a fist in a classic Cruze taunt to the delight of every fan in attendance. Nathan slips through the ropes and immediately snaps his fingers, requesting the use of a microphone. An intrigued Too Magnificent and Hurse watch as Creed’s request is answered and a microphone finds its way into his possession.

Nathan Creed: Three months ago I got a phone call….

He pantomimes a phone being raised to his ear.

Nathan: And the voice on the other end was one I hadn’t heard in a while. “The Icon” Orlando Cruze gave The Future a shout out. Why you ask? Believe it or not, it had nothing to do with going out, grabbing a pint, hitting the links, shooting some hoops, challenging each other in Mario Cart for the Wii, no, no, it was all business for once.

Creed points to his face to show how serious his expression was.

Creed: Orlando informed me that his brother was on the verge of breaking into the business, but he needed some guidance, some help adjusting. That’s where I come in. There was only one man that Orlando could trust with teaching Shaun the finer points of wrestling and at the same time watching his back. That man was me, Mr. Trustworthy himself.

There is a round of applause from the crowd, Shaun clapping along.

Nathan: But I didn’t take the Mickey approach to guiding Shaun, no, that doesn’t work in wrestling. Sure it may work for Stallone, but this isn’t boxing, and I’m not geriatric, yet. There’s only one way to both impart wrestling lessons unto someone and at the same time offer them protection, and that’s by lacing up your boots, stepping back in the ring and leading by example. That’s why I returned to the IWC at Paranoia VII, that’s why you fans are being treated to a classic Creed monologue this very second…

He pauses for the applause.

Creed: It’s obvious by Shaun’s submission at Paranoia that he still has a lot to learn, and the only way for me to teach him properly is to team right alongside him in this very ring.

He points to the canvas beneath his feet.

Nathan: So Shaun, let’s get to some schooling.

The microphone is pitched aside with the crowd all riled up, feeling positively feisty at this point. Shaun smirks, ready to fulfill his dream of teaming alongside the Future. Creed now departs the ring and leaves Shaun inside alone with the Master of Control himself, Hurse. A grin extends across Hurse’s face as he eyes Cruze.

Mark: Now we have a bit more clarity behind Creed’s return to the ring….

Mayne: Please….we all know he returned to wrestling for the same reason any other burnt out has-been does, to pay his alimony.

Mark: He made it very apparent that his motives are far more noble than that, Billy. He’s here to tutor Shaun and transform him into the true Icon, and I guess this is his first test. Shaun is about to lock up with a man who is no stranger to his brother, Orlando.

The Master of All Things Under the Sun steps mono-a-mono to the new Icon, the two nose to nose at this point. They immediately begin trading verbal jabs before Hurse actually pie faces Shaun.

Hurse: Come on kid, show me what you got.

Cruze turns towards Nathan who offers only a nod in response to this comment. The new Icon licks his finger tips and steps in for a collar elbow only to have Hurse surprise him with a drop toe hold followed up by a float over into the front chancery. Once he has his opponent positioned in this hold Hurse screams into his ear.

Hurse: Your gonna have to do better than that youngin’.

Billy: Yeah, we are seeing a lesson here tonight, and it’s Hurse taking Shaun to school.

Mark: Hurse with the early advantage, putting Cruze straight into the front chancery…but look at this.

Suddenly Shaun squirms out of the egotistical Hurse’s arm, grabs hold of his wrist in the process and reverses the front chancery into a hammerlock submission. Although surprised Hurse doesn’t stay down for long. He works his way up to his feet, bends forward and slips around under Shaun’s arm, reversing the hammerlock into one of his own. Shaun slaps his shoulder looking a bit frustrated before glancing towards Creed.

Nathan gestures for him to stay calm and to think. As Cruze tries to settle down he bends forward and attempts to slide under Hurse’s arm, countering in much the same way that his opponent did a few moments earlier. Hurse cuts him off though, breaking the hammerlock and applying a side headlock on the stooped forward Cruze. He then brings him down to the canvas with a side headlock take down. Hurse puts his back to Shaun’s chest and continues to squeeze the neck with all his upper body strength.

Mayne: Hurse continuing to teach Shaun the art of mat wrestling in this match.

Mark: He has him down on the canvas once again. You can’t expect Shaun to immediately overcome a veteran grappler like Hurse when it comes to submission based wrestling, Cruze is still learning.

Billy: Yeah, and apparently Hurse is giving him a free education.

Although contrived Shaun counters the best way he knows how. He lifts his legs, wraps them around Hurse’s neck and forces him to break the side headlock by applying a head scissors. Hurse quickly rolls out of this submission though and gets straight to his feet.

Shaun stands up as well and now the two face off to some clapping from the crowd. Instead of getting frustrated Hurse smiles and nods, as if pleased by Shaun’s effort. Too Magnificent only grimaces at the sight of Hurse’s sportsmanship, his stomach turning. The Icon and the Master of All Things Under the Sun begin to circle one another looking for an opening. They finally lock up with yet another collar elbow only for Hurse to immediately apply a side headlock.

Mayne: Heh…..Shaun just refuses to learn.

Comeau: He worked his way right into another headlock from Hurse.

Shaun wraps his arms around Hurse’s waist and steps back into the ropes, pulling his adversary along with him and then shoving him off. Hurse breaks the side headlock and charges across the ring into the far cables, ricocheting off. He rushes right back into Shaun’s shoulder. The New Icon levels Hurse with a shoulder tackle much to the delight of the audience.

Cruze looks towards Nathan who is clapping his hands in approval. This motivates the rookie to take off into the ropes, bouncing off and coming back in at Hurse, who rolls towards the feet of his opponent, trying to sweep the legs. Shaun just leaps over Hurse and continues running into the far ropes, now ricocheting from them as well. He comes barreling back towards Hurse who lunges to his feet then leap frogs his inbound opposition.

Shaun ducks under Hurse and continues rushing into the ropes behind him. Hurse falls to his back and lifts his feet into the air for a monkey toss only to have Shaun leap into the air, diving through the raised legs of his opponent and then rolling forward across the canvas to his feet. He then barrels towards Hurse who stands up and sidesteps the Icon, shoving him off into the ropes.

Shaun once again bounces from the cables and then leaps into the air, catching Hurse around the neck then delivering the head scissors. Parkwood is sent flipping forward and crashing to the canvas.

Mark: Did you see the speed exhibited from Shaun Cruze there? This is what makes Shaun such a threat, exactly what Orlando lacked. Although Orlando was a great in ring tactician he didn’t have this speed nor the flexibility that his brother possesses.

Too Magnificent rolls his eyes at the sight of Hurse lying stretched across the canvas, chest heaving in despair. Shaun rises to his feet and throws his arms up into the air, getting the crowd into an absolute frenzy.

Mayne: Well there’s one similarity between the Cruze brothers, they both have the innate ability to kiss the crowd’s ass.

An aggravated Too Magnificent extends his arm over the ropes, demanding a tag be made. Hurse, not one to rock the boat, reaches his feet approaches his corner and slaps the palm.

Billy: Uuuuuh-oooooooh, now Shaun is going to be facing a whole different animal.

Comeau: He’s definitely going to have to alter his style if he wants to overcome this powerhouse.

Shaun turns towards Nathan, offering to tag him in, but Creed refuses to reciprocate the gesture.

Creed: Show me you can adapt to your opponent’s style.

Instead of arguing with Creed, Shaun nods, completely agreeing with him. He then steps towards a surly Too Magnificent and extends his arms for a collar elbow tie. The angry giant immediately grabs Shaun by the wrist and yanks his arm, spinning him around then trapping him in a full nelson submission.

Cruze stomps his feet against the canvas, looking to be in a lot of pain as his shoulders are pulled from their sockets and his neck is hyperextended. Creed watches intently, studying Shaun’s reaction to this hold. Although the pain is excruciating Cruze plants his feet and puts his back to Too Magnificent’s chest, shoving him towards the ropes.

The Golden Goliath hits the canvas spine first and now Shaun pushes up off of the canvas with all his leg strength. He leaps into the air and reaches back, wrapping an arm around Too Magnificent’s neck before falling towards the canvas.

The crowd is shocked, as is Too Magnificent, at the sight of the full nelson being countered into a snapmare. The giant flips over, crashes across his back then rolls to his elbows and knees, trying to get up.

Mayne: Did I just see that?

Mark: Yes, Shaun actually countered Too Magnificent’s full nelson. This young man is making some great strides.

Billy: Unless you count tapping out to Max Craven at Paranoia.

Too Magnificent has his knees under him before he’s taken by the wrist, Shaun now manhandling the former N.H.B Champion. Cruze swings around the arm and then leaps over Too Magnificent’s back, catching him around the neck and thigh then rolling him up into the Mahistrial cradle.

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2

The giant kicks out and rolls out of the pinning predicament. A look of fury inhabits his eyes as he glares at Cruze, Shaun backing up with a determined expression on his face.

Billy: You definitely don’t want to piss off Too Magnificent rook.

Nathan now adamantly requests a tag from his partner and Shaun eagerly complies. Once tagged Creed rushes into the ring and grabs Too Magnificent by the jaw, leading him up to his feet then delivering a bone crunching knife edge chop. Too Magnificent staggers back from the blow before being nailed with a second chop and then a third. Creed then grabs the bangs of his opponent, stoops him forward and delivers a straight headbunt that knocks the menacing behemoth to the canvas.

Mark: Creed has got the tag and he is showing Shaun how its done.

Mayne: If I actually cared about Too Magnificent this might upset me slightly, but since I don’t, it doesn’t.

Mark: Please try to make some sort of coherent sense when you speak.

Mayne: I don’t care about that either.

Comeau: Obviously.

After laying out Too Magnificent, Nathan quickly responds to the inbound Hurse. Parkwood illegally enters the ring and charges straight at the Future only to be caught by the leg, shot up into the air and then dragged down face first into the canvas with a flapjack. Hurse crashes into the ring and goes rolling across it, clutching at his face. In the meanwhile, Hurse’s partner is subjected to further brutality.

Nathan tags Shaun back into the match and the two approach the rising Too Magnificent, who is now using the ropes to brace himself. Creed slaps him across the chest with a chop while Shaun does the same. The two then take him by the wrists and launch him off across the ring.

Comeau: 3N setting up for an explosive tag team maneuver.

Creed and Cruze stoop forward to deliver a stereo back drop only to have Too Magnificent stop just inches removed from their waiting shoulders. He connects with a stiff kick to Creed’s face, causing him to stand upright swinging his arms to keep from plummeting to the canvas. He then rushes forward to decapitate him with a clothesline. Nathan ducks the massive bicep of his opponent, swings around behind his back and applies a rear waistlock. At the same time Shaun leaps into the air and dropkicks Too Magnificent right to the face.

Immediately after being dropkicked Too Magnificent is pulled into the air and driven into the canvas across the back of his head with the German suplex.

Mark: OH! What tag team continuity from 3N, taking Too Magnificent out with a combination dropkick, German suplex.

Mayne: Wow, Shaun FINALLY does something impressive.

Creed once again leaves this match in the hands of his student, Shaun picking up where his partner left off. He approaches Too Magnificent, who remains kneeling on the canvas then drives a forearm into his cheek. He compensates for the Golden Goliath’s brutality by becoming a bit more stiff and barbaric himself, which seems to please a nodding Creed.

Shaun takes Too Magnificent around the jaw and leads him up to his feet before taking him by the wrist and launching him off across the ring. Unfortunately for Shaun his plan is thwarted. Too Magnificent reverses and sends Cruze charging across the ring right into a spinning heel kick from a recovered Hurse. Parkwood leaps into the air and catches Shaun in the forehead with a glancing blow. The strike has Shaun so discombobulated that he turns right into a big bicycle kick to the face from Too Magnificent.

Mayne: Looks like I jinxed him.

Comeau: Spinning heel kick followed by the pump kick. How devastating was that?

Mayne: Maybe Shaun will retire prematurely just like his brother. We can hope can’t we?

Creed watches with fear in his eyes as Too Magnificent drags Shaun up to his feet by the hair and then whips him across the ring right into the enemy corner. He then charges in and before Cruze realizes what’s happening he’s nailed in the throat with a lariat. Too Magnificent then turns, wedging his back to Shaun and keeping him pinned against the turnbuckle while tagging out to Hurse.

The Master of All Things Under the Sun enters the squared circle and steps to the center before getting a running start. Too Magnificent clears out of the way just as Hurse leaps into the air and comes crashing into Shaun with a forearm to the jaw.

Billy: And now the rookie is being picked apart, just like he was at Paranoia VII when he tapped out to Max Craven.

Mark: Why do you KEEP bringing that up?

Mayne: Someone has to be objective, Marky Mark.

Comeau: Oh wonderful, your stealing something else from Tim May now.

The crowd is growing anxious, especially as Hurse drags Shaun out of the corner then pulls him over and spikes the Icon right on top of his head via a bridging t-bone suplex.

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2

Shaun gets his shoulder off of the canvas and rolls quickly away from Hurse. He doesn’t get far before his arm is snagged in the clutches of Hurse, the tactician utilizing the trapped limb in order to yank Shaun towards the corner where another tag is made.

Too Magnificent wastes no time in entering the ring and delivering a straight right hand to Shaun’s exposed ribs, Hurse pinning both of Cruze’s arms behind his back to leave him completely defenseless. The blow to the ribcage doubles Shaun over and puts him right in position for a violent clubbing blow to the upper back, a shot that takes him straight down to his knees.

Billy: Now we’re seeing the youthful inexperience of Cruze, he’s allowing himself to be isolated and worked over.

Mark: This is Shaun’s first tag team match, he’s got a lot to learn. It doesn’t help his case that Too Magnificent and Hurse are wrestling like they’ve been teaming together for years.

Hurse doesn’t vacate the ring, instead he stays inside to grab Shaun around the neck and brace him on his feet. He grabs him by the back of the head and charges him right into the waiting elbow of Too Magnificent. The Golden Goliath charges at Shaun and nails him with a bionic elbow square to his inbound face. Shaun is knocked violently to the canvas and now begins gripping his skull with both hands, his brain shaken by that impact.

Creed cries out to him to make a tag, to find the strength to reach his corner and bring in the experienced, as well as fresh man. Shaun tries but fails, Too Magnificent taking him around the neck and leading him up to his feet. He now takes Shaun around the thigh and the throat, lifting him into the air then dropping to a knee as he delivers a modified spinebuster/chokeslam. Shaun’s whole body convulses on impact with the canvas and seems to be drained of any and all fight.

Too Magnificent leans forward, hooking the leg while wedging a palm to Shaun’s chest.

Mayne: And that ladies and gentlemen, is all she wrote.

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2

Mark: Too Magnificent and Hurse on the verge of becoming number one contenders to the tag team titles.

The hand is about to come down for a third time before Shaun kicks out, launching his shoulder from the ring a split second before he could lose his second straight match. A frustrated Too Magnificent takes Shaun around the neck, leading him up to his feet then holding him by the back of his head as he’s charged face first into the turnbuckle. Shaun’s head bounces back and he turns, wedging his spine to the corner.

He now bends forward, shoulder wedged to Shaun’s ribs, holding him in place. He’s pinned for one particular reason, so that he has nowhere to go when Hurse comes crashing into him. Parkwood makes the tag, leaps over the ropes and rushes to the center of the ring. He lifts his foot and stomps it hard to the canvas before taking off.

Mayne: This is gonna be gruesome.

Hurse leaps into the air, foot extended towards Shaun’s face only to have the Icon duck down out of the way. The momentum of his kick sends Hurse flying testicles first into the top rope. He crotches himself and then howls in pain, justifiably.

Billy: Good thing Hurse doesn’t get very much use out of that region of his body.

Comeau: I can speak from experience when I say this, THAT HURTS.

As Hurse wails from the pain of his nether regions colliding with the ropes, to his side Shaun is fighting out of the corner by throwing knees and forearms into Too Magnificent.

Mark: Shaun trying desperately to fight his way out of that corner and make the tag.

Mayne: He’s not gonna get that lucky.

Shaun leaps into the air, stretching out his hand for Nathan, only to be caught on top of Too Magnificent’s shoulder. The Golden Goliath forms a wall between Cruze and Creed, making sure their finger tips are separated by mere inches.

Comeau: He is so close.

Just as Shaun’s hand closes the gap Too Magnificent wedges his palms to his opponent’s ribs and shoves him backwards with all his strength. Shaun flies through the air and lands right in front of Hurse, who is now utilizing the turnbuckle to balance his pain ridden body.

Mayne: In this industry, close NEVER cuts it.

Cruze has just landed on his feet when he spots the massive bicep of Too Magnificent flying straight towards his throat. Somehow he’s quick enough to duck the inbound blow which travels straight over his head and instead connects to the throat of Hurse.

Mark: Too Magnificent just clotheslined his own partner!

Hurse’s body behaves as if it were made entirely of rubber, wigging down to the canvas. Too Magnificent is too busy glaring at his partner stretched beneath his feet to realize that Shaun is leaping across the ring and making the tag behind his back.

Comeau: The Tag has been made, Nathan Creed is back in there.

Mayne: Wake up Too Mag. Who cares if you hurt Hurse, he’s use to it, so get your head out of your ass.

The moment his hand was slapped Nathan leaps through the ropes and comes charging right at Too Magnificent. That’s when the Golden Goliath spins around and delivers a vicious big boot square to his opponent’s face, or more accurately, square to thin air. Creed ducks the boots, rushes into the corner behind Too Magnificent and drives his knee with ungodly force directly into Hurse’s face.

Billy: For the love of God, Hurse, just get a job as a tackle dummy, it seems to be all your good for.

Mark: Another shot to Hurse’s head.

Creed spins around just as Too Magnificent’s fist is hurdled towards his face. Thanks to Creed’s cunning, he’s able to duck the blow, transition behind Too Magnificent, wrap him up around the waist then snap back into a German suplex.

Mayne: He crashes right on his head again!

Mark: Nathan has got Too Magnificent trapped around the waist and you had better believe he’s not letting go.

Mayne: He better hold on, when you got Too Magnificent in your clutches releasing him would be the equivalent of suicide.

Nathan spins the hips and drags his trapped opponent along with him to their feet. Once upright the Future attempts a second German only to have his teeth rattled by a back elbow. The noodle scrambling shot sends Nathan staggering back before he braces himself and throws a wild haymaker. He’s caught in mid-swing from behind, his neck now trapped under Hurse’s bicep before he goes plummeting to the ring with a sit-out reverse DDT.

Mark: Some retribution from the Master of Control.

Mayne: That cooled Creed of faster than an ice cold shower.

A disorientated Hurse rolls away from his opponent as Too Magnificent takes advantage of his handiwork. He takes Creed around the neck and rolls him up to his feet before dragging his head into a front chancery. The crowd squeals as Too Magnificent makes it apparent that he’s going for the Midas Touch.

Billy: Too Magnificent and Hurse moments from becoming the new number one contenders. Which believe it or not would be the lesser of two evils.

The crowd anxiously rises to their feet waiting to see Creed dumped on his head before intervention comes in the form of Shaun Cruze. The Icon charges in, steps off of Nathan’s shoulder and delivers a step up enzugari kick to the back of Too Magnificent’s skull. The stiff strike knocks Too Magnificent loopy and sends him spilling into the ropes.

As he goes crashing through the ropes to the outside of the ring his foot is tagged by Hurse, who just happened to be kneeling in his team’s corner.

Mayne: Blind tag made, I don’t think Creed or Cruze saw it.

Mark: How about Shaun, coming in and rescuing Creed before that Midas Touch could be delivered?

Billy: I don’t have to be impressed, and I’m certainly not impressed with a man who tapped out at Paranoia.

Comeau: Again? Your gonna remind us of that again?

Out of the corner of his eye Shaun caught a glimpse of the tag being made, which is why he’s charging at Hurse before he can take advantage. Shaun stoops forward and launches his shoulder through the ropes to spear Hurse only to have the crafty veteran flip forward over the ropes. He rolls right over Cruze’s back, lands on his feet behind him and finds himself falling victim to a running shoulder block from a recovered Creed.

But wait Hurse somehow has the good sense to not only sidestep the inbound Creed but transition behind his opponent, trapping him in a rear waist-lock. He then pushes Nathan forward right into Shaun, both men’s skulls colliding. The headbunt knocks Shaun through the ropes where he lands across his spine on the apron. As Creed falls Hurse rolls back, pulling him over into a reverse roll up ending in a pin. Hurse sits on the back of Nathan’s thighs, folding his body up beneath him and finding himself on the verge of becoming number one contender.

Mark: Nathan and Shaun bonked heads, but how badly? Is Nathan shaken up enough to be pinned?

The official makes the count before a captivated audience.

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Nathan kicks out and launches Hurse off of the cover, sending him stumbling towards the ropes.

Mayne: Not another ki….

Mark: But look at Hurse.

Instead of falling into the ropes Hurse employs them as a weapon. He leaps to the middle cable, on the verge of springing off only to have Shaun cut him off. Cruze lunges into the air from the apron, catches Hurse around the back of the neck and then yanks him down throat first into the top rope.

Billy: Ohhhh!

A gagging Parkwood somehow remains on his feet as he staggers back into a school boy from Creed. Although Nathan would normally go for a pin he breaks tradition by transitioning from the school boy straight into the Against All Odds. A screaming Hurse finds himself stretched across the side of his face and chest, lifting his palm up into the air as he contemplates submitting.

Mayne: How the….Creed’s got him trapped in that hold. Don’t you be a pansy Hurse, not this time, gut it out for Christ sakes.

Mark: After that nasty whiplash from the ropes I don’t think he’s capable of it.

Screams continue to be exhaled from Hurse’s lungs, sharing something in common with the screaming fans. Finally his hand slaps the canvas and the crowd truly rejoices.

Comeau: He tapped out, Nathan Creed and Shaun Cruze are the new number one contenders.

Mayne: I knew I couldn’t rely on Hurse, I just knew it.

The celebration continues in the audience and inside of the ring. Creed breaks the hold on Hurse then steps in to embrace Cruze, his pupil rushing into the ring in order to hug him in celebration. Shaun then breaks away only to grab Creed’s wrist and lift his arm high in celebration.

Mark: Creed in his first match since returning to the IWC scores a tap-out victory over Hurse. What an impressive return.

Mayne: Thanks Creed. Your only back for two weeks and you already kill the buyrates for Upping the Ante. No one is gonna pay to see 3N challenge Submission Domination for the Tag Team Titles, no one.

Mark: I beg to differ. That actually sounds like it will be one hell of a match. I can’t wait to see it at Upping the Ante.

As the celebration ensues with Creed and Cruze in the center of the ring, just outside the ropes lurks Too Magnificent. He is trembling mad at the sight of 3N standing triumphant over a writhing Hurse.

Mayne: Too Magnificent is not happy.

Mark: But these fans sure are, because now 3N have a date with destiny when they square off against Pat Evans and Axl Evermore for the Tag Team Championships at Upping the Ante. That has “classic” written all over it.

The final image is that of Creed and Cruze standing triumphant while Hurse writhes across the canvas.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

A monitor captures all the sights and sounds of the ring, including a close up shot of Hurse gripping at his spine and crying in anguish. The camera pulls back from the monitor and transitions to the face of the Black Widow, Robin Brooks. The crowd boos loud enough to echo through the very corridors in which she stands. Such an extremely volatile reaction only adds to the look of disgust draped over her face. After a few moments of watching Hurse squirm across the canvas Robin slaps her palm over her features and begins to shake her head.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

THE END IS ONLY THE BEGINNING

The show fades from commercial back to the ring with an extreme close up of a pacing Robin Brooks’ face.

Mayne: This is Riot!, we are back LIVE from the Manhattan Center, and during the commercial break we were treated to the arrival of our Queen. Bow to her feet peasant.

Mark: I’ll do no such thing. Brooks does not deserve my worship. Did you not see her go through the back door at Paranoia VII?

Mayne: No…I saw her BEAT Hurse CLEAN in the center of this ring. An accomplishment that she’s no doubt here to address.

Comeau: As if we haven’t heard enough about it already.

Brooks sashays across the ring shaking her head, nostrils flaring as an indication of anger. Her steam finds a new orifice to escape through, her mouth.

Robin: THAT’S IT! I can’t take anymore of it.

The crowd feigns intrigue although they would much rather be burning the Black Widow is effigy. She remains willfully clueless to their animosity and homicidal thoughts.

Brooks: I’m not gonna allow Hurse to tarnish my legacy anymore than he already has.

Her arms swipe through the air as she pouts, stomping her heel to the canvas.

Mark: Why can’t she just leave Hurse alone?

Mayne: After the damage he’s done to her reputation Brooks deserves revenge, REVENGE!

Comeau: Didn’t she get enough at Paranoia VII?

Mayne: One victory doesn’t make up for years of grief and abuse.

Clearly Robin is on the same wavelength with Billy Mayne.

Robin: For years my association with Parkwood single handedly killed my credibility. No one took me seriously because of him. Because he was a jobber and I WASTED my time on him people perceived me as a loser as well. I was denied World Title shots, opportunity after opportunity aaaaalll because people thought I was on the same level as Hurse. And now, NOW he goes and he puts another blemish on my career. I’m not gonna stand for it anymore.

She crosses her arms and shakes her head in an ever so snooty fashion, the tip of her nose almost tapping her forehead.

Brooks: Every time he comes out here and dances like a monkey for you people, he damages my reputation. And every time he looses, which is every single time he enters this ring, he tarnishes my record. Doesn’t he realize that by coming out here week after week and losing, that it devalues my victory over him at Paranoia VII? At the rate that he continues embarrassing himself for your amusement (points over crowd) you ignorant people will have completely wrote off my victory against him at Paranoia. You’ll see it as just another loss on Hurse’s record and criminally under-sell just how grand of an accomplishment it was on my end.

She blows a strand of hair out of her face in frustration before continuing her diatribe.

Robin: I’m not gonna tolerate it anymore, I’m not gonna let Hurse continue dragging me down right alongside him. Something needs to be done, and it WILL be done at Upping the Ante.

Mayne: Color me intrigued.

In place of her pouty expression a grin now begins to form.

Brooks: It’s high time that Hurse is put out of his misery. He needs to be taken out before he can do anymore damage to this company’s reputation, his reputation, and most importantly, MY reputation. So Hurse, I’m gonna make an offer, I’m gonna risk it all at Upping the Ante. I’m challenging you to a one on one match. If you lose you become my personal servant, but if you win, I’ll stay out of your life FOREVER!

The fans find themselves alarmed by such a risky stipulation.

Robin: And when I beat you and you become my slave again, my first order of business will be to have you shave that mop off your head at Upping the Ante, and then I’ll make you announce your retirement from the IWC effective immediately.

Now the jeers are at a whole nother decibel. Brooks sashays towards the camera, getting close so it can capture her smiling lips.

Robin: In the end, you’ll thank me Hurse, because I’ll have spared you the further humiliation of……

YOU BETTER GO AWAY

Mushroom clouds explode from the stage and Brooks’ face transforms into a picture of pure shock and awe.

Mayne: Oh my goodness….

The fans have a split reaction for the menacing figure who storms through the curtains to the stage. The Big Crazy Bastard pauses on the entry way and gives the crowd a chilling once over with his gaze before embarking towards the ring.

Billy: Now would be the opportune time to run for the hills, Robin, RUN!

Comeau: The Big Crazy Bastard has arrived on the scene and that can only mean bad things are about to happen.

Billy: Why aren’t you fleeing yet Brooks? There are a thousand places to hide. Use me as a shield if you must.

Robin doesn’t take Billy’s strategy, realizing that he would offer absolutely NO protection. She does however, vacate the ring the moment AWOL puts a foot on top of the apron. All the pomp and courage that Brooks displayed just seconds ago evaporated within an instant of looking into AWOL’s eyes. As AWOL enters, Robin departs. She leaps over the barricade and crouches behind it, hoping that she’ll go unnoticed.

AWOL watches from the apron, eyes honing in on his possible target.

Mayne: Don’t you go after her, don’t you put a hand on our queen.

Mark: How many Queens and Goddesses do you plan on worshipping?

Mayne: Any of them that possesses a nice round, apple bottom.

AWOL’s target, not the cowardly queen, but a…..microphone? He drops all interest in the Black Widow, merely shaking his head over her actions as he proceeds across the ring. His demand for a house mic is answered and answered quickly.

Mark: AWOL is not here for brutality, he’s here to say something.

Mayne: How is that NOT brutality?

The snarling, intimidating behemoth lifts the microphone to his cracked, dried lips, ready to let the world know what’s rambling through his mind, even if they aren’t particularly interested in listening.

AWOL: There’s no reason to hide Robin….you shouldn’t be cowering in fear….

Robin isn’t so easily convinced, refusing to budge from behind the barricade.

AWOL: I didn’t come out here to attack you…..been there, done that….I actually came here to AGREE with you.

The crowd’s reaction reflects their confusion.

AWOL: I know, it sounds odd, it sounds downright scary even, that the two of us would share a similar opinion, but we DO. I’m just as tired as you are of this whole “guilt by association” cliché. The fact that at one time in my career I willingly teamed with Hurse in the same stable, well technically twice but the second time doesn’t count, will forever be a black eye on my legacy. And seeing him come out here and job time after time, after he was once the hottest up and coming star in all of wrestling, it damages my reputation and the reputations of EVERYONE who busted their asses here in the IWC. Do you have any idea how bad it makes me look to have lost to the same man who is now jobbing to Nathan Creed?

AWOL closes his eyes and takes a deep soothing breath.

AWOL: You know how bad the entire IWC looks when a former World Champion, a strap representative of the very best and brightest of the roster, can be pinned by Josh Hudson?

A set of trembling fingers slip over AWOL’s bald head.

AWOL: I hope you do put an end to Hurse…..I pray that you can suck less than he does at Upping the Ante and end this debacle before it can get any worse. I don’t have the time nor the desire to take Hurse out myself, so I’ll allow someone beneath me to clean up that mess.

Brooks finally stands up and starts yapping, screeching at AWOL while pointing to herself.

AWOL: And that brings me to something else that is beneath me. This fatal four way number one contenders match tonight.

The mere mention of such a star studded clusterfuck excites the fans. Their reaction baffles the Big Crazy Bastard.

AWOL: You people are actually entertained by the thought of Christian Savior, Robin here, and Jackson Adams scraping and clawing at one another over the World Championship?

The crowd cheers even louder which almost makes AWOL’s nose bleed, his brain melting into a gelatinous mass.

AWOL: Hmmmm, why am I not surprised? If that’s what you people want to see, fine, you’ll get it, but I won’t be part of this….I REFUSE to be part of it.

The cheers quickly morph into boos.

AWOL: I already possess the Ultimate Incentive. I can face whomever I want, WHENEVER I want. Winning the number one contendership is obsolete to the Ultimate Incentive, it backs you into a corner and forces you into a contrived one on one match at a set period of time. That doesn’t interest me. If I were to participate in this four way it would be an exercise in futility. I have absolutely NOTHING to gain by wrestling tonight. Beating on Christian Savior is of no consequence to me. Humiliating Robin Brooks has become commonplace and meaningless. And this match serves as nothing more than a slap, A SLAP in the FACE.

I said I wouldn’t go after Generation Now until it was on my terms, until I had them one on one. I already went through with the three way dance at Paranoia VII, I’m not about to swallow my pride and go back on my word yet again here tonight. For the bookers, Douglas, Desolation, whomever, to assume that I would be “ok” with facing Jackson Adams, the leader of Generation Now, in a four way instead of one on one….well….it’s a bigger insult than Hurse was to the World Heavyweight Title.

AWOL backs towards the ropes, offering his final, emphatic comments.

AWOL: It’s an insult I won’t overlook. So the next time you see me compete in this ring will be when it’s on MY terms, and a time and a place of MY choosing.

The mic slips out of the Big Crazy Bastard’s hand and hits the canvas. AWOL slowly backs across the ring, being booed out of the building at this point.

Mayne: So wait, if I understand correctly, is AWOL backing out of the four way tonight?

Mark: I think that’s EXACTLY what he’s done. He pretty much just stated that the number one contenders match was irrelevant to him since he already has the Ultimate Incentive in his back pocket.

Billy: So Robin Brooks’ odds of winning just drastically increased. Erm, not that she wasn’t the odds on favorite already, heh.

Comeau: Nice cover.

Brooks watches AWOL leave with a look of complete confusion, having no idea what to make of this surprising revelation. Without taking so much as a second to even glimpse back towards the ring, AWOL continues his long march up the ramp and towards the back.

Mark: I guess AWOL is through letting the establishment boss him around.

Mayne: Once again I find it odd, but I must applaud him for his decision here tonight.

Comeau: Erm, yeah, sure.

MAKING AN ENTRANCE

A long black, sleek limo slows to a stop within the confines of the enclosed parking structure. The mere image of it excites the crowd, their minds racing with a slew of potential passengers. Could it be, could there demands to see the new owner finally be realized here tonight? Has Desolation arrived?

Comeau: A limo pulling up backstage, Billy…

Mayne: It’s about time they found me some suitable transportation. And it had better have a fully stocked bar.

Comeau: One has to wonder who’s inside. Is Desolation going to show up two week’s early? From what I’ve gathered he wasn’t supposed to be here until the next Riot!

Mayne: Oh how I’m dreading his arrival. He had better stay away for as long as he can if he knows what’s good for him.

Comeau: It looks like he’s already here, Billy.

Before anymore speculation can be made the door to the limo opens and out steps the Rising Phoenix himself, Christian Savior.

Mark: That’s not Desolation, it’s Savior!

Mayne: That’s even worse than Desolation.

Christian looks around to ensure that the coast is clear before he embarks towards the entrance. Thanks to his t-shirt one can noticeably detect his swelled, black and bruise arm crudely wrapped with some ace bandaging.

Comeau: It looks to me like Christian isn’t here just to compete.

Mayne: What else can he be here for?

Mark: I think the Five Star Society had better watch their backs, cause Christian appears out for some payback. What’s he going to do if his paths cross with the new World Champion? We’ll find that out later tonight.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

URIEL BLACK VS. FOX ARCANE

As the show comes back from commercial break the entrance lyrics of newcomer Uriel Black are playing in the background. All the while Uriel is warming up in the ring, swinging his arms out to his sides in order to prevent any type of rotator cuff injuries.

Mark: IWC returns with our newest acquisition already set to compete in the ring.

Mayne: An entrance during the commercial break?....Wow, that doesn’t vote well for his chances of success here.

Mark: Well he’ll be taking on X-Class Champion, Fox Arcane in just a few moments in what promises to be a great showcase for this young tal…..HEY!

The crowd’s riotous reception alerts Uriel to pending danger. He spins around just as Savior slips into the ring and then comes bolting across it before nearly ripping Black’s guts out with the Spear of Destiny.

Billy: WHOA whoa whoa! Savior just came in and SPEARED this new guy Uriel Black. What the hell was that for?

Comeau: We saw Savior show up before the commercial break and he isn’t waiting to make an impact here tonight.

Mayne: This guy is completely off his rocker.

A handful of Uriel’s hair is used to drag the newcomer to his feet and then pitch him through the ropes, Savior tossing him from the ring. Once Black has been cleared from Christian’s path he storms towards the ropes and DEMANDS the use of a microphone.

Comeau: I think we’re about to find out the method to Christian’s madness.

Mayne: What method? The guy is crazier than….actually I think this has reached a whole new level of outright insanity.

With mic in hand Christian licks his lips and backs to the center of the ring, his ferocious gaze overlooking all the fans screaming and chanting his name. He tries to speak only to lower his head and remain quiet, too choked up with anger to form a coherent statement.

Christian: Five…..

He pauses and once again trembles with anger.

Savior: Five Star Society…..

These words are spoken through gritting teeth.

Christian: At Paranoia VII you made your choice, and now your gonna have to live with it. Your gonna have to face the consequences, and your not going to like what those consequences are.

The crowd teems with excitement.

Savior: You took me out at Paranoia, you injured my shoulder and kept me from competing in what should have been the crowning achievement of my career. Tsk, tsk….is that the best you can do? Here you had the opportunity to end my career and you didn’t take it. I thought I taught you guys better than that. You made a crucial mistake boys and girls, you didn’t finish the job. All you did was pissed me off and left me in the mood for a little revenge. And that’s exactly what I’m out for, vengeance. I will have my vengeance against each and every member of the Five Star Society…..

Katelyn: Yadda, yadda, yadda. We’ve heard it ALLLLL before.

The reaction drastically changes when Katelyn Buehler comes strutting through the curtains to the stage.

Mayne: Finally, someone entertaining wrapped up in a nice little sex appeal package.

Mark: I’m not sure if Katelyn is in her right mind coming out here and interrupting Savior. The guy looks quite unstable.

Savior’s eyes narrow on Buehler’s throat yet she proceeds undaunted with her speech.

Buehler: More false promises and idle threats from Christian Savior. Thanks for reminding the Five Star Society why we kicked you to the curb.

The boos only grow louder and Savior’s expression becomes all the more intimidating.

Katelyn: We’re not afraid of you, Christian, because we know your threats are as impotent as….well….I think you can tell where I’m going with this.

Savior runs his palm down his face as Katelyn chuckles.

Buehler: You never brought anything to the table…all you ever did was INSULT the Five Star Society. You patronized us by claiming that we were nothing more than sheep, easily manipulated SHEEP led astray by Porno Lad. Basically, you accused the entire FSS of being idiots. Idiots who needed their hands held and to be told what to do….

All Christian can do is shake his head, unable to get a contrary word in edgewise.

Katelyn: But we showed you, Christian, yes, we showed you who the patsy really was….

As Savior listens to these inflammatory comments, he is left unaware of the figure slipping into the ring behind his back, steel chair clutched in his hands.

Mark: Oh no, watch out Christian, BEHIND YOU!

Mayne: Shut up Mark, you’ll totally spoil the surprise.

The fans try to alert Savior to the presence of Jon Rich, charging towards his exposed back with chair swinging at his spine.

Katelyn: And we’re about to show you who the patsy is yet again….

The chair hurdles towards Christian’s back before he suddenly leaps into the air and catches Rich around the neck, dragging him down face first into the canvas via the diamond cutter. Jon crashes into the ring then flips to his back, knocked completely unconscious. While Rich lies spread across the canvas the crowd stands rioting in the bleachers.

Mark: BACKFIRE!

Mayne: Nooo, gaaaarr! The FSS had that planned out so brilliantly. Damn you, Christian, and your knowledge of underhanded tactics.

Comeau: Savior, who isn’t the most reputable character himself, saw that attack coming from a mile away and he took Rich out before he could nail him with the chair.

Katelyn watches with wide eyes and stomps her foot in frustration over Christian’s defensive counter to her well orchestrated plot.

Mayne: And oh no, oooooh no, this just keeps getting worse and worse.

With little to no display of emotion Christian proceeds across the ring, eyeing Buehler all the while. He then turns and crouches in the corner, gesturing repeatedly for the “Real Deal” to reach his feet. Katelyn is trembling, she pleads for Jon to just stay down. The stunned Rich tries to get up in spite of her pleas, instinctively working his way up to his feet.

Billy: Stay down Jon, don’t get up.

Mark: Something tells me that Rich is gonna be the first victim of Christian’s revenge against the Five Star Society.

Mayne: This is worse than watching a kitten squashed under a high heel.

Comeau: What? What kind of shit do you watch?

Rich finally reaches his feet then turns right into a rib splitting spear from the Rising Phoenix. The spear hits with such force that it picks Jon up off his feet and sends him flying back first with force into the canvas.

Mark: Spear of Destiny CONNECTS!

Mayne: This is horrible, HOR-RAY-BULL!

The moment that Savior shoulder collides with Jon’s mid-section the crowd erupts into a wave of raw emotion.

Billy: Jon Rich did not deserve this.

A kneeling Savior locks his ferocious gaze upon the incapacitated Rich, who looks as if he’s coughing up a lung at this point. Methodically Christian moves to his feet and turns ever so slowly to lock his crosshairs on Buehler. At first Katelyn shows concern for her brutalized boyfriend before realizing that she’s now become the focus of Christian’s aggression. She shakes her outstretched palms through the air and begins to back towards the curtains the second that Savior rolls under the ropes. He immediately goes storming up the ramp in hot pursuit of Porno Lad’s ex girlfriend.

Mark: Now he’s going after Buehler.

Mayne: Somebody do something about this. Why isn’t someone protecting Buehler?

Mark: I don’t see you leaving your seat.

Mayne: That’s because I um, I uhhh, I have gout….yeah, real bad gout.

Katelyn yelps as she scurries through the curtains to the backstage area, Savior nipping at her heels.

Mayne: Run Buehler, RUN for the dickens.

Mark: Is Christian gonna catch up with Buehler, and what will he do to her once he does?

Billy: Don’t put thoughts like that in the heads of these poor, impressionable viewers.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

TOO MUCH

Katelyn: Please…PLEASE…it was all Ethan’s idea, I swear.

Christian: It’s too late for absolution, Kate.

A horrified Buehler back peddles through the enclosed parking lot, her palms outstretched, begging off. Christian doesn’t back down, he shows no sympathy for the very woman who screwed him out of the World Championship at Paranoia VII.

Savior: Jon got off light compared to what I’m going to do to you.

The Five Star Society spokeswoman is so concerned that she backs right into the trunk of a limo, almost falling over it. Savior continues to close the gap with a truly homicidal gleam in his eyes. In desperation Katelyn leaps onto the trunk and now scurries up the rear windshield to the roof of the limo.

Buehler: I’m sorry Christian, I’m so sorry.

Savior: Stuff your sorrys bitch.

Christian leaps right onto the trunk landing on his feet and then scurries after Buehler. A squealing Katelyn finds salvation in the form of an open sunroof. She climbs through it, falling into the inside of the limo and taking a deep breathe. That’s before Christian drops to his stomach and reaches through the sunroof, grabbing a handful of her hair.

Katelyn: No, no, let me go.

Katelyn thrashes around inside of the limo as Savior desperately tries to hold on to her follicles. That’s when, inexplicably, the sunroof begins to close, yet Savior still won’t let go. He refuses to release Buehler even as the sunroof closes shut around his arm and pins it in place.

Christian: Your not getting away that easy.

He gets to his knees and tries to pull his arm out of the sunroof but can’t wedge it free. This wouldn’t be too alarming if it weren’t for the sight of the driver’s door opening and Porno Lad stepping out.

Savior’s eyes widen at the sight of the Original Prankster exiting the limo, tossing a chauffeur’s cap off his head and across the parking lot. With an insidious smirk on his face he raises a steel pipe into the air and slaps it against his palm.

Porno Lad: You almost make this too easy.

Christian: You mother fuck…..if you even think about…..

Porno Lad: Oh, I’ve already thought about it plenty.

Tension builds as Porno Lad steps up onto the hood of the limo and slowly moves towards Christian, who finds himself defenseless now that his arm is pinned by the sunroof.

Porno Lad: There is something so gratifying about a plan coming together, but I’ll try not to enjoy this TOO much.

Christian: When I get my arm out of this your gonna….

Porno Lad: Save the idle threats. You’re NOT getting out of this. I’ve planned it all TOO perfectly.

Savior: Enjoy it while it lasts, Ethan.

Porno Lad: I’m gonna enjoy every SECOND of it.

The pipe comes swinging down right into Christian’s already injured shoulder. Although he tries to hold back the Rising Phoenix can’t help but to cry out in agony. PL lifts the pipe and swings it down into the shoulder again and again. The glass of the sunroof chips and cracks outward from Savior’s mangled and mutilated shoulder.

Porno Lad: You will never, EVER stand in my way again!

Another blast from the pipe, followed by another, and then another. Savior is slapping the roof of the limo and roaring at the top of his lungs.

Savior: You son of a bitch, you son of a bitch!!

Security finally intervenes, not a moment too soon but a second too late. They come pouring into the parking lot and surrounding the limo from every angle. They flank Porno Lad, climbing up onto the roof and grabbing his arms in mid-swing. It takes three of them just to finagle the pipe out of his hands and back him away from the horribly injured Savior. The rest of the guards are busy peeling back the sunroof in order to free Christian.

Porno Lad: Your lucky Christian, you have no idea how lucky you are!

Porno Lad spits at Christian as the guards continue to restrain him. Savior now fights to get to his knees, holding his badly injured shoulder which has swelled to the point that it almost bursts out of his t-shirt. Many of the security guards assist him to his feet, trying to get him to step down off of the limo. That’s when Porno Lad knocks the security guards out of his way, steps across the roof and grabs Christian by the back of the head. Before Savior can respond he’s thrown off of the roof of the limo and sent sailing shoulder first into the wall of the parking facility. His shoulder cracks against the concrete and he spills writhing in pain to the floor.

Security: That’s enough Porno Lad, that’s ENOUGH!

Porno Lad: I decide when he’s had enough, I’M THE CHAMPION!

Porno Lad tries to break away from security but they keep him restrained. He now drops down to his knees across the roof of the limo, glaring through the arms of security at Christian writhing across the concrete. Many security guards surround Savior and call for medical aid. The camera zooms in on the intense eyes of Porno Lad, who is licking his lips with some sort of sick, morbid satisfaction.

RIGGS VS. JASON ZERO

The usual, over the top, dramatic Jason Zero entrance has been toned down a bit, perhaps for the sake of expenses here tonight. Instead of arriving in a glowing orb Jason merely steps to the stage, joined at the hip by Kassie Khane. Despite the lack of an extravagant entrance, and the loss of the World Heavyweight Title from Jason’s waist, the two seem to be in surprisingly high spirits. Perhaps the possibility of Jason shortly being reunited with his title brings some comfort to the power couple.

Mark: I guess we’re going to try and reclaim some sense of normalcy, though it will be hard after what just transpired backstage. Can you believe the ghastly attack we just witnessed, Billy?

Mayne: Oh I believe it, and more important, I LOVE IT. Christian got precisely what was coming to him. You don’t threaten a woman, especially when that woman is a member of the Five Star Society.

Comeau: Christian was determined to get some payback but he ended up falling right into Porno Lad’s trap and now even more damage has been done to his previously injured arm. Is he even going to be capable of competing in the four way tonight?

Mayne: Short answer….NO.

Zero enters the ring and turns in circles to eye the fans screaming his name. It’s obvious by the reaction he’s getting that the fans want nothing more than to see Jason emerge from this match with a victory and go on to lay claim to the World Heavyweight Title.

Mark: Well Christian’s plans weren’t the only ones to be derailed by the Five Star Society. Earlier tonight, Dan Douglas “surprisingly” called off the five way elimination match for the World Heavyweight Championship. Now in order for Jason Zero to receive a World Title opportunity, he must qualify by defeating Riggs one on one. If he looses, then his arch rival, Riggs will move on instead and face PL for the championship.

Mayne: Axl Evermore moved on to the title match after surviving a-hahahaha-GRUELING qualifying bout earlier, let’s hope Jason or Riggs have an equal amount of trouble moving on to the title bout.

Comeau: Zero has a lot of motivation to win this match and participate in the World Title bout later tonight. He went into Paranoia VII as the Champion but lost the belt after a sensational one on one match against Jake Starr. This may very well be his ONLY opportunity to reclaim the title under Dan Douglas’ administration.

Mayne: I would count on it. To be blunt, he doesn’t even deserve THIS opportunity. He’s over-rated to the extreme. If it had been Jason Zero versus Porno Lad one on one at Paranoia VII, PL would have taken him easily.

Mark: We may very well find out if that’s true later tonight.

Jason swings his arms from his chest and outward several times before glancing from the corner of his eye at Kassie. The attractive manager nods towards Jason and gives him some last minute advise before the Sacrament derails their conversation. It doesn’t take long for the banged up Riggs to come strolling through the curtains with the N.H.B Championship flung over his shoulder. He is flanked by his beautiful, yet very deadly counterpart, Suzie Clover. Both the Painted Warrior and his tattooed lady may be sporting the wounds of their downright disturbing no holds barred match at Paranoia VII, yet they still look ready for competition. Riggs’ World Title ambitions trump his laundry list of injuries.

Mark: It’s fitting that these two would have to go through one another in order to receive a World Title shot. When you think about some of the feuds that have DEFINED the IWC, you must include Riggs vs. Jason Zero. These two were at one time tag team partners, then they went on to become bitter rivals.

Mayne: Yeah, yeah, yeah, the real reason to be interested in this match is the amount of eye candy at ringside. Just look at those hoochy mommas. Why can’t they be the ones to get in the ring and wrestle?

Comeau: Well, we have seen Suzie Clover wrestle once….

Mayne: Yeah, and she beat the at the time World Champion, Jason Zero.

Mark: Which has only added fuel to the flames of this intense personal rivalry between Zero and Rig…..HEEEYYY!

After Riggs takes his first step towards the ring he’s grabbed by the shoulder, spun around and has his head caved in with a trashcan shot from Too Magnificent.

Mayne: Too Magnificent has just JUMPED Riggs!

Mark: Trashcan RIGHT between the EYES!

To the steel plummets Riggs who has been rendered unconscious by the disturbing shot from the can. Clover looks just as stunned as her significant other. She overcomes her surprise in order to run at Too Magnificent only to be caught with a shot from the trashcan as well, which sends her twisting to the stage.

Mark: Without remorse Too Magnificent just BASHED Clover right over the skull with that trashcan.

Mayne: Well she did kinda help Riggs retain that N.H.B Title at Paranoia, granted Too Magnificent got some payback on her by putting her through that flaming table.

Comeau: What effect will this pre-match assault have on this World Title qualifying match?

Riggs writhes across the stage, face engulfed in his palms and heels smacking against the steel grating. Although Too Magnificent, a man who felt shafted at the biggest, grandest pay-per-view of them all has Riggs exactly where he wants him, he doesn’t move in for the kill. Oddly enough he throws aside his dented, warped trashcan and instead grabs hold of an ankle……Suzie Clover’s ankle.

Mark: Whoa, wait now, where is Too Magnificent going with Suzie Clover?

Mayne: Is he taking the caveman philosophy to dating? Hello, this is 2010, you don’t have to hit a woman over the head anymore to court her, there’s a little thing called the date rape drug, look into it.

Clover is completely incapacitated by that devastating, brain altering shot to the noggin. She puts up no fight, mostly because she has no clue what fate awaits her. Too Magnificent pulls her along through the curtains, dragging her across the stage like she were captured prey.

Comeau: He’s hitting the road with Clover in his clutches. Is he going to send her for yet another horrifying plunge?

Mayne: If only picking up woman was this easy.

Zero doesn’t lift a finger to aid his long time rival, he just leans with his forearms against the ropes and watches. His eyebrow is arched and his head slowly sways from side to side, as if repulsed by these pre-match antics. Finally Riggs begins to regain some of his faculties, eyes batting as he sits up on the stage and peers around at his surroundings. He palms his forehead then climbs to his feet before realizing something is horribly amiss. He turns in circles, searching high and low for Clover who is nowhere in sight. For once a look of panic overtakes the N.H.B Champion’s face, the skin beneath his paint turning a bright shade of red.

Mark: I think it’s just dawned on Riggs.

Mayne: What, that the paint on his face makes him look like a demented Ronald McDonald? Great, now I just made myself hungry.

Mark: Noooo, that Suzie Clover has been abducted.

Mayne: Oh.

Without thinking, his brain still scrambled from that shot with the trashcan, Riggs tears through the curtains and goes storming backstage. He realizes that the only person he still cares for has fallen into the clutches of his most depraved, demonic rival, a man who has repeatedly victimized Clover over the past several months.

Comeau: Riggs in hot pursuit of Too Magnificent and Suzie Clover, but uhhhhh what does this mean for our qualifying match?

Referee Wright appears equally as confused as the commentating staff and the baffled crowd.

The suspense is heightened once cameras shift backstage to find the Painted Warrior, Riggs staggering into the gorilla position, palm wedged to his forehead. He is in such a rage that smoke threatens to billow forth from his flared nostrils.

Susie Moore: Riggs….hey Riggsy-poo.

The eager, almost too eager, Moore comes gallivanting into the fray, paused a few inches away from the irate champion. Riggs is too busy searching for another Suzie to so much as acknowledge the one before him.

Susie: What ya doin?

The contrived, and obviously not well thought out question, elicits an equally as rushed response.

Riggs: Where is she, huh?

Susie: Who?

Riggs: SUZIE!

Moore: Um, duh, I’m standing right here.

He is in such a state of anger he can barely even force himself to reply to Susie’s asinine comment.

Riggs: Not YOU, the OTHER Suzie. Where did Too Magnificent take her?

Susie: Ohhhh no, I was kidnapped by Too Magnificent?

Riggs: FORGET IT!

He throws his arms up into the air and storms away in a huff.

Moore: Hey wait, aren’t you supposed to be wrestling? Don’t you have a match right now?

Riggs: Screw it, I FORFEIT!

Just like that Riggs is off, as well as the qualifying match apparently. He storms down the corridor, leaving Moore behind with a puzzled look on her face. Cameras return live to the interior of the Manhattan Center where the referee shares Susie’s expression.

Mayne: Did Riggs really just WALK OUT on this match?

Mark: As surprised as I am by his actions I do understand them. After everything Too Magnificent has done to Suzie Clover, he isn’t about to risk any further harm coming to her.

Once it becomes apparent that Riggs has ditched this match in favor of rescuing the damsel in distress, Wright has no other alternative but to turn towards Zero, grab his wrist and lift it into the air. Now it’s Jason who wears a mask of pure and utter bewilderment. He gestures towards himself as the referee continues to raise his arm.

Mayne: Why’s the ref doing that for? Is he helping Jason stretch?

Mark: I’m not sure what the implications behind this are.

The referee offers an explanation through a messenger, the ring announcer. He breaks away from Jason, sticks his head through the ropes and whispers into the eager announcer’s ear. Once the message is relayed the crowd is swept into a frenzy.

Kailey Wolf: Ladies and gentlemen, due to a forfeit, Jason Zero is your winner!

The fans have a loud, yet split reaction to this announcement. Although some are pleased that Jason will be moving on to compete for the World Title, others are disappointed that they were not treated to a sure crowd please classic in the form of Riggs versus Jason Zero.

Mayne: Jason advances, just like that?

Mark: Well Riggs did forfeit, so what else could be done?

Mayne: DAMMIT. I can’t believe Jason is actually going to receive another shot at the title. This is….this is…..I think I may have just made myself constipated I’m so mad.

In spite of his method of victory Jason celebrates the win, inviting Kassie into the ring where the two exchange a quick hug. Khane then raises Jason’s arm in victory, motioning to the man who will go on to participate in what has now become a three way dance for the World Heavywei…..

Dan: Wait, hold it, screeeech, pump the breaks boys and girls.

To another deafening roar of anger, Dan Douglas’ face consumes the big screen. All the chairman can do is sigh and rub the patch of flesh that conjoins his eyes. He falls to his seat across the edge of his desk and crosses his arms, head now hung sullenly. Neither Jason nor Kassie care for the interruption, nor the possible implications behind it.

Mark: Don’t tell me that Douglas has come to raid on the parade yet again?

Mayne: Dan Douglas should so have his own superhero theme music, and it should be written by John Williams, not Danny Elfman.

The outpouring of hostility proceeds yet Douglas is undaunted by their reaction.

Douglas: I’m sorry but NO. No no, no no no no, noooooo. This isn’t gonna happen. I set up these qualifying matches so that the World Title would not be trivialized. So if I were to allow someone to challenge for the championship who won a contenders match by a FORFEIT, it would completely contradict everything I’ve worked for here tonight.

Jason REALLY doesn’t like where this is going.

Dan: Besides, as I put it earlier tonight, in order to receive a shot at the World Title, the winners of these qualifying matches had to PIN their opponents just like Porno Lad did…..

Mark: WHAT? He didn’t even pin Christian at Paranoia to qualify for the World Title match.

Mayne: Details, Mark, details.

Douglas: And I didn’t see you PIN anyone, Jason. So you know what, sorry, but in terms of you receiving a World Title shot in tonight’s main event, it’s just not gonna happen. Sorry about your luck, sport.

He flashes a grin that would cause a serial killer to squirm before the feed to his office is abruptly cut off. Jason takes several deep breaths in the ring, head lowered, chest heaving, flesh reddening. Kassie tries to console him but Zero doesn’t listen, his mind consumed with rage.

Mark: I don’t believe what we just heard? Douglas STRIPPING Zero of the right to face Porno Lad with the most absurd technicality I’ve ever heard.

Mayne: His reasoning was just. He isn’t about to let the World Title be trivialized, Mark. He won’t let the title be devalued any longer.

Mark: Jason has just been SCREWED.

Jason’s flesh pulsates with rage as he glares at the canvas beneath his feet. His knuckles form into fists and his eyes gleam with intensity. Nothing that Kassie says can placate the ex champion.

THE FALLEN PHOENIX

Ambulance sirens blare in the background and the flashing lights reflect from the cement walls of the parking structure. Convened behind the open doors of the ambulance is a platoon of EMTs and one Christian Savior. Anguish flows throughout the Rising Phoenix’s arm which remains cradled to his chest. The trained medical staff takes great pains so as not to touch or move the arm, knowing fully well that it could only add to the severity of Savior’s injuries. Therefore, their primary function is to ensure he’s table, positioned on the stretcher and ready for transportation.

Mark: Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see the EMTs here in the Manhattan Center are preparing Christian for a trip to the hospital after that disgusting attack by Porno Lad earlier tonight.

Mayne: Well if Christian had just shown Katelyn some leniency, NONE of this would have happened.

Comeau: The Five Star Society set Christian up yet again and now they may have deprived him of yet another World Heavyweight Title opportunity.

It takes all of the EMTs working in concert to heave the stretcher up into the ambulance and slam the doors shut behind Savior. The final image of Christian before he’s locked away in the ambulance is a composite expression of rage, pain and dismay.

Mark: Who knows when we’ll see Savior again after that assault from the World Champion.

Mayne: I wouldn’t mind if we NEVER saw Christian again.

The ambulance speeds out of the Manhattan Center, whisking Savior away to the nearest hospital where he’ll no doubt receive top rate medical care.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

FLED

A filing cabinet is tipped over and sent crashing into the floor. This is just one of many inanimate objects to have felt the wrath of the Painted Warrior, Riggs. With rage burning behind his ravenous eyes the N.H.B Champion storms through the backstage area, kicking doors open, knocking tables over, searching every conceivable space.

Riggs: Where is she? WHERE IS SHE!?!

He keeps on storming through the backstage area taking out his frustrations on anything that crosses his path.

HELL FREEZES OVER

Mayne: Riggs still searching high and low for Too Magnificent and Suzie Clover. Where do you think he’s taken her? Some cesspool of torture and despair? Denny’s?

Mark: I shudder to think where Too Magnificent has taken Clover. Hopefully we can get some details on this story before……

YOU KNOW MY NAME!

The fans suddenly lunge out of their seats and converge around the barricades, absolutely THRILLED.

Mayne: What’s this now? Haven’t we already seen enough of Shaun Cruze?

Mark: I don’t think that’s Shaun.

Suddenly a wheelchair is pushed through the curtains by Kloe Cruze, with the passenger being the Icon himself, Orlando. His head is wrapped in ace bandaging after successfully undergoing brain surgery just a week ago. The crowd is stunned to see him here live only a week removed from such a life threatening procedure.

Comeau: I can’t fathom what I’m seeing here, Orlando Cruze returns to the Manhattan Center.

Mayne: Wha…what….WHAT!?! Excuse me if I’m wrong here, but didn’t Orlando say that Paranoia was going to be his LAST hurrah, that we would never see him again?

Mark: That’s what he said, but maybe he changed his mind.

Mayne: Or maybe that scalpel cut a little TOO deep and he just forgot that whole vow.

Although Kloe looks highly concerned about bringing her fragile husband to such a chaotic, threatening environment Orlando appears to be at peace with the idea. He wears a grin and even extends his arm to high five a few of the fans. Those few lucky onlookers explode with elation the moment their outstretched palms are reciprocated with a slap from the Icon.

Comeau: I’m amazed by how functional Orlando is. The man is recovering quickly from what was a life threatening surgery.

Mayne: And he’s risking that recovery by actually showing up here tonight. What a numb-sku….wait, is that inappropriate?

Mark: You have absolutely no tact whatsoever.

A special steel ramp has been built and the ropes have been removed from one side of the ring so as to provide Orlando with easy access to the squared circle. Kloe pushes the chair up said ramp and into the ring where the crowd has started a loud “Orlando” chant, mustering all the strength of their lungs in order to do so. Once positioned dead center in the ring Cruze implores her wife to retrieve something for him, a microphone. Kloe takes it from the announcer and bestows it upon her husband.

Mayne: He’s gonna talk? Dammit, why couldn’t that be the last of his normal bodily functions to return?

Mark: This is very courageous on Orlando’s part I can tell you that.

Although his arm is weak Orlando still has the strength to raise the mic to his lips.

Orlando: I know…..I know….I’m a bit of a hypocrite aren’t I?

This statement is met with mixed applause.

Cruze: I vowed that I wouldn’t step foot in this ring again after my match at Paranoia VII, which is partially correct, my feet aren’t actually touching the canvas.

He gestures to the wheelchair beneath him which lightens the mood.

Orlando: But at Paranoia, I didn’t get a chance to truly say goodbye to each and everyone of you fans. I was a little busy getting my head kicked in to offer my sincerest and most heartfelt “thank you” to all the people who have supported me throughout my wrestling career. If it wasn’t for you, the true blue IWC fans, I wouldn’t have busted my ass in this ring as long as I did. It wasn’t the fame, it wasn’t the expensive cars or beachfront condos, it was you, ALL of you that made stepping into this ring worth it. You gave me the strength, the determination, the drive to overcome multiple injuries, to overcome insurmountable odds, to become World Heavyweight Champion.

A justified round of applause is given to Orlando based on his long list of accolades.

Orlando: I never wound have accomplished anything….ANYTHING….if it wasn’t for your support. So from the bottom of my heart I have to say it one more time, THANK YOU!

He points over all the excited faces in the crowd as a single tear forms in the corner of his eye.

Cruze: With that said, I want to assure my loyal, devout fans that I’m recovering far ahead of schedule. My surgery couldn’t have gone anymore perfect, and I’ll be back on my feet in no time, just not in a wrestling ring. It’s time for me to re-prioritize my entire life. Wrestling has given me a lot and I hope that I’ve given some back. You fans have inspired me time and time again, and I can only hope that I’ve returned the favor.

The Icon becomes choked with emotion as he raises his palm to his eyes and brushes away tears.

Orlando: There isn’t going to be some swerve where I return to the IWC a couple of months from now, where my ex girlfriend shows up and demands I become president. I’m not gonna be baited back into this ring by some age old rival. This is it. Orlando Cruze is leaving the building and I’m going out on top. I’m leaving while the choice is still mine to make, while I still have something to go home to….

A warm smile fills Kloe’s face as her hand is taken and drawn to Cruze’s lips. He plants a kiss on the back of her knuckles.

Orlando: But even though I leave this ring for the LAST time tonight, I want to ensure each and every fan who has supported me through the ups and the downs, that I shall forever be YOUR ICON!

Another round of applause is given to Orlando as the fans now commence with a “thank you” chant. Their response only makes Orlando all that more emotional. He lifts his palm and begins to wave goodbye just before “FAKE IT” hits the PA system, leading to a drastic change in the crowd’s tune. The whole vibe is skewed by the arrival of Jackson Adams.

Mark: Ohhh come on, this is just inexcusable. How could Jackson Adams have the gall to interrupt Orlando’s farewell?

Mayne: Ha! I guess Jackson still does have some balls left.

It doesn’t take long for Adams to egotistically make his way down the ramp, up the steps and into the ring with microphone already in hand. Although Orlando is in absolutely no state to fight, he brushes Kloe around behind him and his chair, still trying to protect her.

Jackson: No need to shield your lady, Orlando, that’s not what I came here for.

Orlando’s eyebrow arches in intrigue as Adams paces in front of him.

Adams: Sure, I COULD take advantage of your condition and nail you with a few precise kicks to the noggin, but that’s not what I’m about. I COULD come out here and rant and rave about how I was screwed over at Paranoia, but I’m sure these fans wouldn’t listen and again, that’s not what I’m here for.

Cruze: What are you here for then, JA? If your gonna jump me get it out of the way…..

Jackson: Orlando, Orlando, Orlando, I already told you, I’m not here to fight. I’m here to admit I was wrong.

A collective gasp is heard from the crowd and Orlando alike.

Orlando: Pardon.

Adams looks troubled to admit it but he continues with his confession.

Jackson: Everything that I said about you building up to our match at Paranoia, well, it was 100% bullshit. I see that now. You proved to me at Paranoia VII that you aren’t weak, that you aren’t a coward, that you are an ICON. Where so many men would have laid down and allowed me to pin them to spare themselves the possibility of further injury, you didn’t. No, instead you put on one of the most courageous performances I’ve ever witnessed.

The crowd cheers and begins an “Icon” chant.

Adams: If I were facing a lesser man they would have stayed down after that first kick to their injured head, but you didn’t, no, you kept fighting. You continued to fight after every forearm to the skull, after every kick to the temple, after every knee to your brain. You refused to give up even though your life was hanging in the balance. For that, I respect you, Orlando. Your accomplishments, they speak for themselves. Your legacy, undeniable. You cemented your status by not just surviving but preserving throughout our match at Paranoia.

Orlando grins as he is shown proper respect from Adams and the chanting crowd.

Jackson: Now that I’ve said my peace there’s only one thing left for me to do. Orlando, although I don’t deserve it, would you do me the honor of shaking my hand?

The palm is outstretched and the gesture is met with a riotous reception from the fanbase. Orlando stares at the hand extended in his direction, hesitating to take Adams up on his offer. He looks towards the crowd for guidance, many of them pleading with Orlando not to fall into Jackson’s trap. Finally Cruze responds by slapping the hand away, leaving Jackson dejected. He is about to plead his case before he realizes what Orlando is doing. In an awe inspiring sight Orlando has wedged his hands to the arm rests of his chair and is now pushing his way upward to his feet.

Several jaws drop at the sight of Orlando standing up out of his chair and then grabbing Jackson’s palm, shaking his hand.

Mark: What an inspiring image. Orlando Cruze stood up out of that wheelchair in order to shake Jackson’s hand.

Mayne: How can these two be shaking hands after everything that they’ve done to one another?

Mark: It’s all about respect, Billy.

Billy: Respect? Don’t give me a cop-out answer like that.

Jackson and Orlando continue to shake hands to a piercing roar of approval from the crowd when the moment is yet again ruined.

Porno Lad: Are you kidding me? SERIOUSLY!?!

The fans jump all over the World Heavyweight Champion as he emerges from the curtains, belt wrapped snuggly around his waist and head shaking back and forth.

Comeau: Why do so many great moments have to be spoiled by this man?

Mayne: He just made this moment even greater.

Adams and Cruze glare at the approaching Porno Lad, who looks repulsed by the image in the ring.

Porno Lad: I haven’t felt this ill since Kitty forced me to sit through the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. I can’t take anymore of this.

He stomps up the steps then pauses on the apron.

Porno Lad: Jackson….BUD….

Adams squirms.

Porno Lad: How could you possibly come out here and shake hands with this man? He beat you at Paranoia by using every dirty tactic and trick in the book. Aren’t you supposed to stand for the virtues and principles of wrestling? Don’t you REPRESENT honor? Well there was nothing HONORABLE about the way Orlando cheated you out of that win at Paranoia. He disrespected you at the biggest pay-per-view of them all, in much the same way he disrespected me by refusing to pass ME the torch. And yet here you stand shaking the hand of a scoundrel?

The Original Prankster judgmentally shakes his head as he slips through the ropes into the ring. He steps right towards Adams, who is surprisingly quiet.

Porno Lad: You’re really letting me down, JA. You’re spittin’ on everything you claim to represent by shaking this has been’s hand.

The fans unload with all their verbal fury about Porno Lad after that last shot against the Icon.

Porno Lad: As your friend, as your BFF, I felt I needed to come out here and set you straight. To show you the error of your ways.

Jackson scoffs at the notion.

Porno Lad: And I think the best method for you to make up for your little mistake here, is by sending this politician packing the right way. I say the two of us give Orlando here a little flashback. How abouts we put Orlando out once and for all, just like I did to Christian Savior moments ago, by delivering the spike PILEDRIVAH! What do ya say pal?

Mayne: Please say yes, pwetty please!

Mark: I can’t believe Porno Lad would even suggest this. He wants to give a spike piledriver to a man who just underwent life threatening brain surgery.

The World Champion eagerly glares at Adams, awaiting his response. Once again Orlando reaches back and keeps Kloe shielded behind him, ready for anything. After a long delay Adams finally offers a response.

Jackson: You know what Porno Lad, your right. It is high time I took a stand against everything that is wrong about this business….

Porno Lad: Ha-ha, that’s what I like to hear….

A fist swings right into Porno Lad’s mouth and sends the World Champion spiraling into the ropes. He spills through them to the outside of the ring as the crowd goes absolutely nuts.

Mayne: HEEEY! Jackson just slugged Porno Lad right in the kisser.

Mark: Yes, YES! Jackson standing up for what’s right.

An emotionally unstable Porno Lad kicks the barricade in rage then begins clutching at his jaw. He glares furiously into the ring where Orlando Cruze has grabbed Jackson’s wrist and is now lifting it up into the air in celebration. The building trembles with applause as Adams and Cruze stand side by side in the ring and stand opposed to the Original Prankster.

Billy: This may be the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen.

An enraged PL backs up the ramp still rubbing his jaw and mumbling a long line of threats. Jackson finally breaks away from Orlando and takes a few steps in reverse, clapping for the Icon. Orlando grins as the whole building stands up and once again chimes in with a “thank you” chant.

Mark: On a night we say goodbye to Orlando Cruze, the Icon leaves another indelible mark on this industry. Thank you Orlando Cruze, thank you for EVERYTHING.

Orlando kisses his palm and then waves it towards the sea of humanity.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

ROBIN BROOKS VS. JACKSON ADAMS
NUMBER ONE CONTENDERSHIP

The show comes back live with a still image of Jackson Adams and Orlando Cruze in the center of the ring. The words “moments ago” are written in the corner of the screen.

Mayne: Tasteless, absolutely tasteless. That’s the only way to describe what we just witnessed.

Mark: Ladies and gentlemen, just before the commercial break we saw something I never thought I’d EVER see. Orlando was in the middle of giving his farewell speech only to be interrupted by Jackson Adams, which led to the inconceivable.

The footage cuts to Orlando slapping Jackson’s hand aside then getting out of his chair. He then shakes Adams’ hand to a loud reception from the crowd.

Comeau: Bitter enemies showing one another respect until this happened….

Now the video flashes to Porno Lad interrupting this respectful gesture, he stands in the ring microphone in hand.

Porno Lad: I say the two of us give Orlando here a little flashback. How abouts we put Orlando out once and for all, just like I did to Christian Savior moments ago, by delivering the spike PILEDRIVAH! What do ya say pal?

Mayne: Porno Lad tried to convince Adams to see the error of his ways but of course Jackson is a blithering idiot, so this happened.

In a flash the footage cuts to Jackson tentatively debating his options. He finally raises his head, nods and then swings a fist right into Porno Lad’s lip, knocking the World Champion into the ropes.

Billy: Jackson Adams, in a completely unprovoked attack, ASSAULTED our World Champion and completely disrespected him.

The show comes back live where Jackson is still in the ring, warming up for some competition.

Mayne: And to make this all that much worse, Adams is STILL in the ring.

Mark: There’s a very good reason for that. He WAS set to compete in a number one contenders four way match but that bout….I guess….has now become a one on one confrontation pitting him against the Five Star Society’s, Robin Brooks. Earlier tonight Christian Savior was attacked and transported out of here via an ambulance and AWOL basically said he WAS NOT going to compete on the IWC’s terms. He said the next time we see him in the ring will be when he decides to cash in that Ultimate Incentive.

Billy: Good. Then there will be nothing standing in the way of Robin Brooks giving Adams the thrashing he deserves.

Jackson hops in place, getting himself fired up for the competitive match that lies ahead. He doesn’t have to wait long for his opponent, “The Game” hitting the PA system and alerting the crowd to Robin Brooks’ arrival. She receives a well justified round of boos from the fans, who are none too thrilled to see her step into the ring tonight, especially after the comments she made earlier in the show. Oddly Brooks doesn’t come bursting through the curtains as she normally would. There is absolutely no trace of the Black Widow.

Mark: What the hell is this now? Brooks is slated to take on Adams, but where is she?

Mayne: She’s stalling in order to get into Jackson’s head, isn’t it obvious. The Black Widow is the master of manipulation.

Comeau: I don’t know….whoa, wait a minute, I understand something is transpiring backstage, let’s get a camera back there.

The show transitions from an impatient Adams in the ring to a camera rushing up the entrance tunnel to capture the conversation between Robin Brooks and Porno Lad. The Original Prankster is throwing his arms around in an animated fashion while shouting like a lunatic. All Brooks can do is watch and listen.

Porno Lad: You cannot, I repeat, CANNOT let that INGRATE win tonight. Do you understand me, Robin?

Brooks nods and opens her mouth to respond only for Porno Lad to cut her off with more shouting.

Porno Lad: Did you see what he did to me? Did you!?!

Brooks: Well…

Porno Lad: He disrespected me, he disrespected you, he disrespected the ENTIRE Five Star Society. Nobody treats the World Champion like this, NOBODY, especially not Jackson Adams. I just don’t want you to beat him, I want you to CRIPPLE him. Understood?

Brooks: Of cours….

Porno Lad: You beat him tonight, you deprive him of the number one contendership and then I won’t even have to defend my World Championship at Upping the Ante. Get it? Got it? GOOD! Now go!

The infuriated Porno Lad points down the corridor, directing Brooks towards the ring. She stands there and bats her eyes for a few moments and then with a sigh finally embarks towards the squared circle. The show comes back to the ring where Adams is still warming up in anticipation of one of the biggest matches of his career.

Mayne: Porno Lad with the pep talk, INSPIRING Brooks like she’s never been inspired before.

Mark: The World Champion is absolutely delusional. Then again, so is Brooks, so they kind of deserve one another.

The curtains finally open and Robin comes storming through them. She takes a moment to kick back her hair and upturn her nose towards the jeering crowd before she starts towards the ring.

Comeau: It’s about time she showed up….

Mayne: And boy, look at how fired up Porno Lad has got her.

Mark: She’s going to need a lot of intensity in order to defeat Adams here tonight.

The crowd continues to unload a full verbal assault upon Brooks as she heads towards the ring. Meanwhile Adams unwisely turns his back towards his approaching rival, getting into a verbal discussion with the referee. It’s right at this point that Robin comes barreling down the ramp and sliding inside. Before Adams can turn back to face her she dives at him and connects with a lariat to the back of his head.

Mark: Look at this, a cheap shot from Brooks.

Mayne: Jackson deserves it after that cheap shot on Porno Lad just a few minutes ago. Brooks is all fired up because she wants revenge on behalf of her leader. You saw the pep talk she just got backstage.

Robin leaps unto Jackson’s back and begins firing off with right hand after right hand to his temple. Finally JA is able to grab her arm and flip her over his shoulder where she goes slamming to her back.

The incredibly aggressive Robin rolls straight to her feet and then steps in behind Jackson who is convalescing, stooped forward and clutching at his head. A well placed kick to the back of his knee knocks Adams’ legs out from under him as Brooks turns her back on her long time rival then performs a standing moonsault.

Billy: Breathtaking. Absolutely breathtaking.

Mark: Brooks already nailing that standing moonsault we’ve seen her use several times in the past. Will it give her the victory here tonight?

The official slips into position and makes the count.

1

Jackson surprisingly kicks out, filled with just enough emotion and determination to keep going. The Black Widow is still fueled by that motivational pep talk before this match begun, hence why she is digging her claws into Jackson’s eyes in the process of pulling him up to his feet.

Adams stands as Brooks rakes his orbital sockets then leaps into the air, landing square on his shoulders for a hurricarana. Jackson is prepared for it this time though, he wedges his hands to her thighs and shoves her up over his head.

Brooks lands on her feet behind Adams before she unleashes a high pitched squeal, her arms being caught in the clutches of the Spectacular One. Jackson prepares for the unprettier only to have Brooks nail him in the jaw with an elbow and then perform a standing back flip into the Pele kick. Her shin drills Adams right in the top of his skull and knocks him loopy. He goes staggering backwards into the ropes, falling against them for support. That’s when Robin comes barreling in, leaves her feet and delivers a picture perfect front dropkick right on his sternum.

Comeau: Robin absolutely going to town on Adams, that kick just sent JA flipping right to the outside of the ring.

Mayne: This is payback, this is retribution. You don’t mess with the Five Star Society and that’s all Jackson Adams has been doing since he formed Generation Now.

Mark: He’s really got to get himself back into this match if he wants to emerge as the number one contender.

Jackson begins to shove his way up off of the mats, looking banged up and stunned by this offensive onslaught from the Black Widow. A devious smirk stretches across Brooks’ face as she grabs the top rope, intent on not giving her long time rival even a second to recover. She now pulls herself over the ropes into a twisting crossbody and lands right across Jackson’s chest.

Billy: Beautif…..YIKES!

Mark: He caught her.

The grin on Brooks’ face vanishes the moment she realizes that she’s been caught in Adams’ clutches. Jackson throws her up from his chest to his shoulders in a powerbomb predicament and then brings her down right across his raised knee. The powerbomb, back breaker combination sends Brooks into convulsions as she spills across the mats.

Mayne: Nooooo, that looked painful.

Mark: Must you constantly state the obvious?

Much to their surprise the crowd is actually popping at the sight of Adams getting in some offense. They seem to have immediately forgiven him for his past transgressions now that he has made amends with the Icon. Jackson looks to take the next step with his salvation, via winning a shot at the World Title. He takes Brooks by the hair, leads her up to her feet, slams her face against the apron and then deposits her back into the ring.

Robin rolls across the ring looking out of it while Adams follows her in. He then takes her by the wrist, yanks her up to her feet and then launches her off into the ropes. Once she comes charging back in Adams catches Brooks under his arm, heaves her into the air and brings her down with a Canadian backbreaker across his raised knee.

Mark: Jackson the Submission Champion for a reason. He’s found a body part and he’s now targeting it exclusively.

Mayne: But Robin really needs all her back strength, how else is she going to carry Jackson to a half way descent match?

Adams stands up and lifts Brooks into the air for a second time only to drag her right back down to his knee with yet another Canadian back-breaker. Brooks collapses from his knee to the canvas and then has both legs hooked as JA attempts to claim the coveted number one contendership.

1

2

A defiant Brooks launches her shoulder from the ring, adamant about derailing Jackson’s hopes and dreams. Now it’s Adams who shines with intensity, evident as he begins to yank the Black Widow to her feet via her hair. That’s when he’s subjected to a right hand to the ribs, followed by a left to the mid-section. Adams doubles over grimacing in pain while Robin reaches her feet and nails him to the throat with a double palm thrust.

Billy: There you go Robin, there you….no!

Robin ricochets from the ropes to build some momentum and deliver yet another devastating blow only for Adams to step forward, catch her and deliver a spinning powerslam. She’s driven forcefully to the canvas across her already tender back and her leg is now hooked for the three.

1

2

Yet again Robin cuts short Jackson’s hopes by launching a shoulder from the ring.

Mayne: You see that, did ya? Robin has the heart of a lion, a LION I say. Jackson’s not gonna be able to finish her off, he’s NEVER been able to finish her off before, it won’t be any different tonight.

Mark: As Billy has alluded to ever so blatantly, Jackson and Brooks have a very long, storied rivalry that has spanned several years here in the IWC. That’s why you’ll see a lot of counters in this match, these two know each other very well.

A slightly frustrated Adams takes a handful of Brooks’ hair and leads her up to her feet before delivering a straight knife edge chop right across her bosom. Brooks squeals and goes reeling into the turnbuckle, falling against it for support. Adams then steps in and proceeds his last chop with another that connects with equal sternum bursting force.

Without remorse Adams delivers a straight right hand on the jaw.

Mayne: Look, closed fist, closed fist, disqualify him ref.

Mark: He’ll do no such thing and you know it.

Billy: What a hypocrite Adams is. He claims to be a paragon for wrestling virtue and yet he pulls dirty underhanded tactics like this.

Adams retracts his fist for another blow only to have Brooks get her foot up and drive it into his knuckles in defense. Jackson now staggers back shaking his hand out to his side, grabbing at his swollen fist. He blocks out the pain momentarily and goes rushing right at Brooks, lobbing a lariat directly at her skull. Robin ducks out of the way and Jackson goes spinning spine first into the turnbuckle.

He falls against it just as Robin rushes in and gets fancy, leaping into the air, delivering a front dropkick to JA’s chest then flipping back and landing on her feet.

Mayne: That was gorgeous.

Mark: Yet not all that effective.

Robin kicks back her hair and smiles wide, showing off to the grimacing fans. She then rushes at Adams and leaps into the air only for JA to step out of the turnbuckle, clearing from her path. As a result Brooks lands on her feet across the turnbuckle and quickly spins around to face the Gen Now representative.

Mayne: She’s setting up for something mega.

As soon as Adams turns towards her Brooks leaps from the turnbuckle, catches him around the neck and sets up for a tornado DDT. However, Adams swings her around and counters the DDT into a back breaker across his knee.

Mark: Ohhhh, now THAT was gorgeous.

Robin screeches as she rolls off of Jackson’s raised knee and thrashes around on the canvas. Adams crawls into the cover, forearm wedged directly to Brooks’ jaw.

Mayne: How did he do that? This is not conceivable.

The official slides into position and makes an emphatic count to the delight of the masses.

1

2

NYOOO….Robin’s shoulder escapes the canvas mere seconds before Adams’ World Title aspirations could be realized.

Mayne: Heh, Brooks deprives him again. I look seeing that look of shame on Jackson’s face, knowing he came so close only for it to slip through his fingers time and time again.

A flustered Adams glares despondently at the official, who confirms the speed of his count. All the while Brooks is rolling across the ring and spilling under the ropes to the outside mats, wisely creating some distance between herself and her nemesis.

Jackson is hot on her heels though, following right behind and then clubbing Brooks over the lower back. She shrieks and falls into the barricade while Adams turns his sights to the steel steps. He approaches them and kicks away the upper half, exposing the harder lower portion.

To the confusion of the crowd Adams lifts the lower steps into the air and sets them up vertically, almost creating a wall.

Mayne: You can’t climb the steps that way you idiot.

Mark: I highly doubt that’s what Adams is setting up for.

The intense Adams approaches a dazed Brooks and grabs a chunk of her hair. He forces her head under his seat and then points to the steps to much fanfare.

Billy: He wouldn’t do that, would he?

Mark: Well you know Jackson is a particularly remorseless individual, that was evident by his attack on Orlando’s injured head at Paranoia VII.

Adams lifts Brooks up to his shoulders in a powerbomb position and then begins to charge across the mats, about to throw Brooks into the steps. That’s when she suddenly slips down off of his shoulders, catches him around the neck and delivers a version of the tornado DDT right across the thin protective mats. The crowd reacts with shock at the sight of Jackson’s head thudding against the floor.

Mayne: Yes-hahahaha-YES.

Mark: A game changing counter by Brooks.

Mayne: She saved herself and may have just ended Jackson’s World Title hopes.

A fatigued Brooks struggles to her feet, still clutching at her lower back as she grabs Adams around the neck and leads him up to his feet. Once upright she employs all her strength to charge Jackson across the mats and throw him face and shoulder first into the vertically positioned steps. He crashes through them, the steps falling over with Adams coming down on top of them. His mangled frame bashes off of the steel and he goes rolling across the mats convulsing in pain.

Mayne: And she uses Jackson’s own underhanded tactics against him, lovely, just lovely.

Comeau: Those steps may have done even more damage to Jackson’s head.

Mayne: How ironic. He’s getting his comeuppance for what he did to Orlando at the pay-per-view.

A listless gaze inhabits Jackson’s eyes, his pupils rolling to the back of his head. Robin grabs him around the neck, leading him to his feet then depositing him into the ring. She slides in herself and crawls over Jackson’s chest, forearm wedged aggressively against his face.

Billy: Brooks is about to become number one contender.

The official makes the count much to the dread of the viewing audience.

1

2

JACKSON KICKS OUT.

Mayne: Argh.

Mark: Adams continuing to hang in there despite that nasty drop on his head across the outside of the ring.

Anger is exuded from Brooks via her twisted features. She stands up and then goes rushing into the ropes, bouncing off before flipping forward into a standing senton bomb right across Adams’ mid-section. Jackson begins to convulse while Brooks turns around and wedges a knee right to her rival’s face, pinning him in the most arrogant manner possible.

1

2

Jackson’s shoulder once again evades the canvas. An increasingly frustrated Brooks takes Adams around the neck and leads him up to his knees slowly before scraping her knee across the side of his face. Jackson grabs at his eye, which has already been targeted in this match. Brooks then goes rushing off into the ropes, ricocheting off and coming back at Adams who suddenly leaps to his feet, spins around and nails her to the throat with a lariat so vicious it actually flips Robin completely over.

Mark: What a LARIAT!

Mayne: Adams turning this match back into his favor.

An exhausted Adams falls to his elbows and knees unable to follow up on that throat bursting maneuver. He slowly works his way up to his feet and approaches Robin who is struggling to stand as well. He grabs her around the neck, drags her to her feet and then whips her off across the ring. That’s when Robin leaps into the air and lands on the middle rope, springing off then twisting towards Adams and catching him around the neck.

Mayne: She’s going for another tornado DDT….

Mark: But he’s countering the same way again.

Adams catches Brooks in mid-move and begins to swing her around into the back breaker. This time Robin slips out of his clutches though and extends her legs across his back, wrapping them around his far arm. Before Jackson knows what’s happening, he’s being flipped over backwards and spiked right on top of his head with a crucifix bomb into the crucifix pin.

Billy: But she counters his counter to the original counter…..I’m making myself sick.

Mark: Brooks could be seconds away from becoming number one contender.

The official slaps the canvas to much ballyhoo from the audience.

1

2

Adams’ shoulder staves off defeat via launching from the canvas.

Mark: And this back and forth number one contenders match wages on as these two just continue to trade counter after counter after counter.

Mayne: I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many reversals in one match before.

As frustrations mount Brooks grabs a kneeling Adams around the neck and applies a front chancery, a basic yet effective hold targeting the already damaged cranium of the Submission Champion.

Billy: And now Brooks is gonna school Adams in submission wrestling, capping off her victory with the ultimate insult.

Adams’ face begins to change to a shade of purple, all oxygen being deprived to his brain.

Mayne: Tap Adams, just tap out now. Don’t be an idiot. Well actually it’s kind of late for that.

Mark: He’s been putting in a very gutsy performance throughout this match, and he isn’t about to let it end with a tap out, you can rest assure of that.

Such as Comeau speculated Adams is not content with submitting to his age old nemesis. He begins to rise towards his feet, Brooks becoming a bit more intense as she squeezes at his noggin. In an effort to escape the hold Adams wedges his palms to Robin’s pelvis, pushing up on it. As a result Brooks’ legs go up into the air yet her arm remains locked around his neck. She falls back to her feet and continues to apply the pressure with the front chancery.

He wedges his hands to her pelvis for a second time and then shoves her up into the air. This time he pushes with enough force to cause Brooks to break the front chancery and go flipping over, landing on top of his shoulders then snapping back into the hurricarana.

Adams is flipped over, crashing onto his back with Robin seated on his chest hooking the creases of his knees.

1

2

A last second kick out spares Jackson the humiliation of defeat.

Mayne: Oh wow, Robin was so close, literally THIS close to winning the match.

Mark: Yet Adams keeps fighting.

Brooks looks none too pleased, not one bit. She jumps to her feet and approaches the corner, throwing her arms out to her sides in order to signal for the end of this confrontation. Adams remains sprawled across the canvas perfectly placed for Brooks’ next maneuver, her jaw dropping variation of the shooting star press. She slips through the ropes and commences up the turnbuckle, fully prepared to take flight and take the number one contendership for the World Heavyweight Title.

Comeau: Robin headed to the very top rope…..

Mayne: It’s about time she stopped playing around and just finished this match off.

Mark: Wait, look out below.

Surprisingly Adams scrambles to his feet and comes limping towards Brooks, grabbing her by the ankle. Brooks swats his hands away and then delivers a buzzsaw style kick right to his temple. The stiff strike sends Jackson turning away from Robin and staggering across the ring. The momentum of her kick has caused Brooks to turn her back on Adams, now standing on the middle rope and once trying to reposition herself.

Mayne: Expertly countered by the Black Widow, who is by far the superior athlete in this match.

Mark: She may have avoided being yanked down from that turnbuckle, but it cost her the chance to hit the Shooting Star Press.

Brooks begins to step up the turnbuckle to the top rope when…..

YOU BETTA GO AWAY!

Mushroom cloud pyros shoot from the stage, Brooks’ eyes widening and glaring at the entry way.

Mayne: Whoa, whoa, whoa….hold the phone. AWOL said he wasn’t going to participate in this match.

Mark: I’ve learned that what AWOL says and what he does can be two entirely different things.

Robin continues to glare at the entry way, fists clinched, ready to deliver some serious damage to AWOL should he interfere. She is completely oblivious to the fact that the Big Crazy Bastard has jumped the guardrail, emerging from the crowd and then sliding into the ring behind her.

Mayne: Robin look out, for the love of God LOOK OUT!

Mark: How a man of AWOL’s size can be so sneaky is just beyond me.

Robin turns around but it’s too late, she receives a cheek cracking open hand palm strike from AWOL that leaves her severally dazed. The behemoth now climbs up the turnbuckle, getting to the second rope and taking her around the waist.

Mayne: Nooo, he wouldn’t be this inhuman. Why isn’t the referee calling for the disqualification?

Mark: Because AWOL IS a legal participant in this match, Billy.

Robin has no defense as she’s yanked down from the top of the turnbuckle into a back breaker across AWOL’s knee. Many members of the crowd cringe and cover their mouths as Brooks’ body bounces from AWOL’s elevated kneecap and goes writhing across the canvas.

Mark: The Semper Fi!

Mayne: He may have just broken her in half.

Mark: I’m pretty sure that was his intention.

All Robin can do is screech as she writhes and convulses across the canvas, blood dribbling from the corner of her mouth, indicative of internal injuries. AWOL stands up, having the Black Widow exactly where he wants her. That’s when a grin forms on his face, one of a highly insidious nature. Instead of going for the pin he approaches a very dazed, incoherent Adams and grabs him by the wrist, yanking on it.

Billy: Now he’s targeting Jackson, which I guess softens the blow a little….wait no, what are you doing you big dummy!?!

Mark: What IS he doing?

Instead of inflicting damage on Adams, AWOL places his arm across Robin’s chest then backs away.

Comeau: He’s putting Jackson Adams, one of his longest rivals on top of Brooks?

Billy: He’s letting him get the pin? This is the ultimate screw job, the ULTIMATE screw job.

AWOL orders a tentative referee to make the count while he backs out of the ring.

The referee’s hand slaps the canvas to a deafening roar of approval from the crowd.

1

2

3!

The elated audience gets even louder when Adams’ wrist is grabbed and his arm raised high in victory.

Comeau: Jackson Adams has done it, he is VICTORIOUS! We have a new number one contender.

Mayne: EGADS! This isn’t….that’s not how…..it isn’t FAIR!! AWOL interfered, he cost Brooks the win!

To a surprisingly loud pop Jackson rises to his feet side by side with the official who is still supporting his arm. He almost falls over, very winded from what was a grueling bout against his nemesis, having no idea how he picked up this win but celebrating nevertheless.

Comeau: Adams defeats the Black Widow to secure his shot at greatness. He will now move on to face the winner of tonight’s World Title match at Upping the Ante.

Mayne: GREAT, now Porno Lad will actually have to defend his title at Upping the Ante.

Mark: If he can actually survive tonight still the World Champ….WAIT!

Adams is so distracted with his celebration that he doesn’t even notice AWOL barreling across the ring behind him before its too late. A lariat connects with such force to the back of his skull that it sends him flipping forward and crashing across his back.

Billy: AWOL just blindsided Adams out of nowhere! I love it!

Mark: First he helps Adams and now he mauls him.

The uncontrollable behemoth shoves the official down to the canvas, clearing him out of his path. He then steps towards Adams and grabs him around the jaw, yanking him up to his feet and lifting his head so he can see into his eyes.

AWOL: I could cash in that Ultimate Incentive whenever I want. Will I do it now? Huh? Or will I do it at Upping the Ante? Maybe I’ll wait for you to win the title, THEN I’ll cash it in and take that belt away from you.

AWOL flashes a demonic grin and then hauls off and delivers a devastating spinebuster on Adams, driving him with all the force he can muster directly into the canvas. Jackson’s back bridges from the ring as he writhes in pain, AWOL stooped forward over top of him, hands to his knees.

AWOL: You’ll just have to wait to find out.

After delivering the beatdown and the ominous statement AWOL backs away from the broken Adams and vacates the ring.

Mark: What was the point of this?

Mayne: AWOL letting Adams know that he has him AND the World Heavyweight Title in his crosshairs and he can pull the trigger whenever he wants.

AWOL backs up the ramp looking menacingly back in the ring where Adams continues to writhe in anguish.

A DATE WITH DESTINY

An exhausted Axl Evermore strolls through the corridor headed towards the ring. He is in the process of applying some wrist tape and working out the kinks in his muscles.

Mark: Speaking of the World Title, in just a few moments we’ll see THIS man challenge for the championship when he collides with Porno Lad one on one.

Mayne: Yeah, yeah, hype up another epic failure for Evermore.

Comeau: Axl showed his determination to win the belt by defeating his tag team partner, Pat Evans earlier in the night, can he pull off another win and cut short Porno Lad’s championship reign? We’ll find out NEXT.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

WORLD TITLE ELIMINATION

The show comes back in time to catch the insane reception that Axl Evermore receives the moment his entrance lyrics blare through the PA system. Just about every fan leaves their seat and pumps their fists into the air, celebrating the arrival of the man who could very well make history here tonight. In spite of his battered torso Axl moves to the stage, pauses and then slaps the steel grating beneath his feet with both palms. He then throws his arms up into the air, demanding the crowd show him even more love. They abide by his wishes, becoming even louder with each step, or more accurately, with each STAGGER that Axl takes towards the ring.

Mayne: Ohhhhh lord, I can’t believe he’s even bothering to come out here. He is about to make a complete and utter ass out of himself.

Mark: I beg to differ. I think Evermore is about to make history here tonight, and I think he’ll do so by ending Porno Lad’s World Title reign.

Mayne: Are you shrooming?

Mark: Axl has the home-field advantage, the crowd is rallied behind him. He’s got momentum after that win earlier tonight against Evans, and he has the technical skills to match Porno Lad. If any man can beat the Original Prankster, it will be Axl Evermore.

A grimace consumes Axl’s face as he slides through the ropes into the ring, shockwaves of pain flowing outward from his traumatized lower back. Injuries and all, Axl still appears ready for competition. That’s when his thoughts are derailed by the sound of Porno Lad’s obnoxious singing. The nerve grating voice, belting out the tune to his own theme music, is a prelude to the arrival of the World Champion. Before long he comes shimmying through the curtains with the championship securely wrapped around his waist and a palm raised to his lip, rubbing it painfully. Although he isn’t smiling Porno Lad still has all his usual pomp and flair. He makes his way up the steps and into the ring where the championship is removed, held up high and then flung at the official.

Mark: I don’t know why, I know I shouldn’t be, but I’m shocked by Porno Lad’s deceitful elimination of all challengers but Axl Evermore here tonight.

Billy: Deceitful? Don’t you mean, skilled? His tactics were amazing, inspiring even. He weeded out everyone who didn’t deserve to be in this match and now it’s come down to himself versus Axl Evermore.

Comeau: Who already had to wrestle once tonight at the start of our show against Pat Evans just to earn his spot in this match.

Mayne: So? Porno Lad had to wrestle TWO matches at Paranoia to become World Champion, it’s only fair that Axl Evermore should have to do the same.

Mark: Yes, but Porno Lad’s opponent had to wrestle twice that night as well. PL is coming into this fresh and rested while Evermore is at a severe disadvantage.

The bell chimes and the increasingly smug Porno Lad steps out of his corner raising the World Title belt high above his head. Evermore hops in place, shaking his head at the sight of the Original Prankster lording the golden trinket over him.

Mark: It’s obvious that Porno Lad is not taking this challenge very seriously. Just look at that expression on his face.

Mayne: A World Champion should be confident, he should be prepared.

The belt is finally handed over the official and is no longer used as a tool in which to get into Evermore’s head. The still sweaty and exhausted Evermore warms up with the use of the ropes as the official is now the one lifting the championship up high. He steps to the center of the ring and raises the gold aloft. As soon as he steps out of the way Porno Lad barrels straight past him, intent on getting the advantage against Evermore.

Axl sidesteps the inbound Porno Lad and then drops down behind him, hooking his thigh in the process of dragging the champion down into a school boy.

1

Porno Lad kicks out, rolling back to his feet then throwing a wild right hand at Axl’s face. Evermore ducks the inbound fist, wedges his back to PL’s spine and then back slides him down to the canvas.

1

2

Once again Porno Lad is forced to kick out in order to save his championship. He then rolls away from Evermore, ending up scooting across his but with a shocked expression on his face. He has a wild look in his eyes at the sight of Axl standing above him, actually grinning.

Mark: Porno Lad is in shock. Axl almost caught him twice there. He almost took away his World Title within seconds of this match beginning.

Mayne: Luck, that’s all it was. Porno Lad just got a little ahead of himself is all.

Comeau: Why can’t you just compliment Evermore?

Mayne: Because the thought makes me want to take a cold shower.

To add further insult Evermore snaps his fingers and is handed the World Title belt through the ropes. He now steps back and lifts the championship high into the air, receiving a loud and sustained pop from the crowd.

Billy: How dare he, put that belt down right now mister!

Mark: Now it’s Evermore getting into Porno Lad’s head.

PL rises to his feet, steaming mad at this point. His glare could melt a glacier. The title is returned to the official and Evermore gestures for the Original Prankster to just bring it. The irate PL rises to his feet and does as requested, lunging at Axl and poking him directly in the eye. Evermore grabs his face as the crowd erupts into a wave of pure hostility.

All the while Porno Lad stands back chuckling to himself. He then launches a right hand into Axl’s jaw, followed by a second blow with equally as devastating repercussions. Evermore falls into the ropes, limp as a fish before Porno Lad licks his palm, retracts his hand and delivers a straight open hand chop right across the challenger’s chest.

Mayne: Heh, our World Champion is doing nothing more but toying with his opponent now.

Mark: Yeah, he poked the man right in the eye.

Billy: So. That doesn’t change the fact that he’s still toying with him.

The repeated shots to the chest and face have sent Evermore spiraling into one of the turnbuckles, now leaning against it for support. All the while Porno Lad continues to pour on the flamboyance and charm. He steps back and does a Hogan-esque ear cup in order to properly hear the fans booing his name. At this point Porno Lad blows them off, spits into his palm and delivers a second open hand chop across the chest.

His hand connects, with thin air. Evermore steps out of the way, catches Porno Lad by the back of the head and throws him spine first into the corner, where he now subjects the World Champion to chop after chop after chop to the chest.

Mayne: Hey. Stop that.

Porno Lad’s jaw drops as the chops continue to connect across his sternum, one after another after another after another. Terror fills the eyes of the Original Prankster as right hands are swung directly into his jaw, followed by a series of kicks to his mid-section. Eventually the official has to step in and intervene, grabbing Evermore around the waist and dragging him away from the World Champion.

Mark: Evermore has flipped his lid.

The emotionally fired up Evermore pushes past the official and walks right into yet another thumb to the eye. The collision sends Axl stumbling back and doubling over, palm wedged to his orbital socket. The charismatic Porno Lad charges out of the corner wearing a broad smile only to have his chest nearly ripped in two by another sternum splitting chop.

The Original Prankster hits the canvas, rolls across it to his feet and then goes staggering towards Axl, who catches his knees against his shoulder then back drops him HIGH into the air. Porno Lad catches tremendous height before crashing with force right against his tailbone.

The crowd is swept up into an absolute frenzy, reacting as if Axl has already won the championship. He turns and sets his gaze sternly upon Porno Lad, who has now rolled to his knees and in a true act of cowardice begins to beg off. He lifts his palms into the air and shakes his head, pleading with Evermore to give him some type of reprieve.

Comeau: Are you kidding me?

Mayne: Come on, Axl, give the World Champ a break. This match should be fought in rounds so that PL can get a breather every two minutes. Quick, give me a spit bucket.

Mark: He’s the World Champion for crying out loud, he shouldn’t be asking for mercy.

Billy: You’re a cold blooded individual Mark Comeau, a very cold blooded individual.

He now puts his hands together in prayer, appealing to Axl’s religious principles, if he has any. This gesture causes Evermore to pause, gaze transferring to the fans who are shaking their heads and begging him to deliver yet another strike. Their demands are all the provocation that he needs. Axl rushes towards Porno Lad only to be caught by the front of the pants and yanked down. He is sent tripping forward right into the ropes and then spilling through them.

Mayne: He-he-he, Porno Lad set that up perfectly….

Mark: Perhaps not….

Instead of smacking into the thin protective mats outside of the ring, Evermore lands square on his feet. He then turns and leaps to the apron with Porno Lad aloof to his own peril. He learns of this the moment he turns around and spots Axl beginning to slip through the ropes. This prompts the Original Prankster to rush forward and catch Axl’s temple and shoulder with a running knee.

The collision knocks Axl from the apron where he lands on the outside mats. He then leaps back to the apron as quickly as possible only to be caught across the jaw with a forearm. The stiff strike sends him tumbling onto his feet across the protective matting once again.

Billy: Yeah, you show him, Porno Lad, he doesn’t deserve to be in the same ring with you.

The Original Prankster turns and bolts across the ring, ricocheting off the far cables in order to build some serious momentum. He now comes barreling towards the ropes, about to dazzle by means of a dive, when Evermore leaps to the apron, grabs the top rope and comes flying over it. He flips over Porno Lad’s back, catches the stooped forward Champ around the waist then attempts a sunset flip. However, Porno Lad keeps his feet planted against the canvas, swinging his arms in a desperate attempt to remain upright.

He then drops of his own volition, seat first across Axl’s chest, reaching back to hook the creases of his legs and pin the challenger. Just as he prepares to reach out and grab the middle rope for added leverage, Axl sits up, pushing Porno Lad over onto his back into the sunset flip.

1

2

The crowd goes ga-ga before Porno Lad kicks out, dashing their hopes.

Mark: Evermore seconds from winning the World Championship on that exchange.

Mayne: Yeah, only because Adams softened Porno Lad up before this match.

Comeau: Uhhhh, Axl had to wrestle a grueling bout against Pat Evans, so there are no excuses.

Billy: Sure there are, I can still come up with about a thousand of them.

Evermore rolls back to his feet and then gets a running start, fist cocked back in order to dish out some damage to the rising World Champion. That’s when PL surprises Axl with a straight kick to the forearm of the challenger. The stiff strike sends Axl twisting away from his adversary, clutching his arm across his sternum and grimacing in pain. Porno Lad then wraps his arms around Axl’s waist from behind and drops back, rolling him up and sitting across his thighs.

Axl is folded up under Porno Lad, trapped in a pinning predicament.

1

2

Evermore kicks out, launching Porno Lad forward. Axl ends up on his knees just as Porno Lad steps in and grabs hold of his arm, trying to apply his rendition of the key lock.

Mayne: Ohhh yeah, we saw this move applied at Paranoia VII, and the Original Prankster is bout to bust it out again playa!

Mark: I literally just cringed.

An aggressive World Champion is insatiable in his attempt to apply the submission but Axl refuses to have his World title ambitions thwarted. He rises to his feet, trying to counter out of the hold by standing up and back dropping the Original Prankster to the canvas. However, Porno Lad twists his body and slips over Axl’s shoulder, landing on his feet behind the challenger then wrapping his arms around his waist, attempting yet another roll up.

This time Evermore avoids it by rushing forward into the ropes, dragging Porno Lad along behind him. Once he hits the cables Axl wraps his arms around the top rope and pushes off with his back. Porno Lad tries to drop down and roll him up but Axl’s grip on the cables is unbreakable. As a result PL goes rolling across the ring with nothing to show for his troubles and then ends up on his feet looking exasperated.

He rushes towards Axl who steps out of the cables and leaps into a big knee strike that cracks the champion under his jaw.

Billy: Not Porno Lad’s jaw, it’s like his seventeenth most important feature.

Mark: Axl just rang the bell of the champion, who has been completely unable to take advantage of the challenger thus far.

PL spirals across the ring and falls into one of the turnbuckles, arms dangling over the ropes and eyes rolling to the back of his head. Axl bends forward into a three point stance and then goes bolting across the ring, building as much steam as possible.

He leaps forward right at his opponent only to be side stepped and as a result he crashes face first into the top turnbuckle pad. The big stinger splash fails to connect and as a result Axl goes staggering back right into Porno Lad’s waiting clutches. The World Champion catches Axl around the waist then falls back into the roll up.

Comeau: He’s rolling him up yet aga….wait, NO!

Instead of going for the roll up pin Porno Lad pulls Evermore up off of the canvas into a release Chaos Theory rolling German suplex. Evermore crashes with a forceful thud across the back of his head and shoulders then springs up off of the canvas and lands across his stomach.

Mayne: Now that’s the epitome of impressive.

Mark: I have to agree there. Usually Porno Lad would bridge out of that move into the pin, but I think he’s too winded to pull it off.

The brutal landing leaves Axl clutching at his neck and writhing across the canvas. He rolls slowly to his elbows and knees, exerting all strength in order to reach his feet. After struggling for several moments Evermore stands only to be blindsided from behind via a running lariat to the back of the neck.

Mayne: Evermore CLOBBERED!

Mark: We’ve really seen a very pronounced mean streak from Porno Lad as of late, especially when it regards the World Heavyweight Title.

Axl grips the back of his neck as he tries to stand up only for Porno Lad to step to his side, leap into the air and come down knee first right into the back of his head. The blow sends Evermore’s face crashing into the canvas. He now rolls to his back as PL climbs into the cover, forearm wedged to Axl’s face in the process.

1

2

Evermore’s shoulder evades the canvas, sparing himself defeat. The moment he rolls away from Porno Lad, his arm is caught and tucked around behind his back. It is now pinned in a hammerlock position while his jaw is taken hold of and yanked back by the increasingly aggressive World Champion.

Billy: Combination hammerlock and rear chin lock applied by Porno Lad. Tell me, have you ever, EVER seen someone adapt to the technical arts faster than Porno Lad has?

Mark: I have to admit, for a man who once prized himself on not being an in ring tactician, he has quickly become one of the most prominent submission based wrestlers on the roster. He’s going to need all those technical skills to defeat Axl Evermore here tonight though.

Evermore reaches up and tries to rip the hand away from his jaw but he can’t pry it. He turns from side to side, jostling in an attempt to yank his arm free from his rival’s clutches but Porno Lad holds on too tightly. He finally begins to stand up, hoping it will give just the leverage he needs to escape this submission. That’s when Porno Lad wedges a foot to the back of Axl’s knee and forces him back down to the canvas. He puts even more pressure on the hold, rearing back even further on the jaw and twisting the arm at a far more damaging angle.

Mayne: Alright Evermore, this is the part where you rhythmically slap the canvas and admit that Porno Lad is better than you.

Mark: Axl has far too much heart to do that. He’s been waiting for this match, for this opportunity all year long, he can’t let it slip through his fingers once again.

The determination within Evermore becomes abundantly clear as he yet again ascends upwards, trying to free himself from this precarious predicament. He finally begins to drag Porno Lad’s hand away from his jaw, forcing it away inch by inch before dropping to his knees and performing an arm drag.

The World Champion flips over Axl’s back and rolls across the canvas to his knees, looking frazzled, nay stunned by this counter. Axl leaps to his feet and looks to take advantage, rushing at Porno Lad only to be cut off by a big running knee to the ribs. The blow to the mid-section sends Evermore flipping over and landing square on his rump. He grabs his mid-section, trembling in pain while Porno Lad drops down behind him, grabbing his arm and applying a modified arm bar. At the same time he wedges a knee to the challenger’s kidneys and once again applies a rear chin lock with one hand.

Mark: Porno Lad continues to ground Evermore and work him over with these holds. If you notice the Champion seems particularly interested in targeting Axl’s arm, perhaps setting up for the Key Lock.

Mayne: Yeah, at Paranoia, in a match I should have called mind you, Porno Lad spent an eternity picking Christian’s arm apart, we’re seeing him use that same strategy right here tonight. Let’s just hope it works out a little better for him this time around.

Porno Lad continues to hyperextend the arm and stretch the neck until Evermore is brought to the brink of submission. However, Axl is not inclined to give in. He continues to fight out of desperation. He gets one knee under him followed by a foot, slowly inching his way back to an upright base.

Mayne: He’s still fighting to get out of this hold, which is laughable, laughable I say.

Mark: Everything is at stake here tonight for Axl, his reputation, his livelihood, the World Heavyweight Championship. It’s all up for grabs, he just has to reach out and take it.

Billy: No, I stand corrected, THAT was laughable.

Evermore tries to will himself to his feet with the crowd united behind him, compelling him to stand and continue fighting these odds. He finally reaches his feet and to the surprise of the crowd it’s the champion who breaks his own submission. In anger Porno Lad spins Evermore around and takes him by the wrist, shooting him off into the ropes.

Axl ricochets off the far cables and comes charging back at Porno Lad who rushes in to cut him off with a knee to the ribs. However, Evermore drops down into a baseball slide and slips right through the champion’s legs.

He now stands up behind Porno Lad, who spins around and is subjected to a blistering dropkick right to the jaw.

Mark: What a dropkick right on the mark….watch out!

The reason for Comeau’s spastic comment relates to Porno Lad turning and bumping into the official, knocking referee Wright to the canvas. The Original Prankster falls to the ring right beside him before eventually rolling across it to the outside.

Comeau: Porno Lad just knocked the official on his ass….

Mayne: Well he shouldn’t have been in the way. I tell you that seems to be the referee’s only function anymore, getting in the way left and right.

Mark: And now Porno Lad is getting out of dodge.

Mayne: Actually it looks like he’s coming right towards us.

A stunned Porno Lad crawls across the outside mats and grabs hold of the announce table, utilizing it to begin reaching his feet. He then falls over into the time keeper, knocking them out of their chair and causing them to drop the World Title belt to the mats. Inside of the ring Evermore is shaking off the damage done to his arm in the process of reaching his feet. That’s when he catches a glimpse of the downtrodden Porno Lad from the corner of his eye which compels him to take off into the ropes. He ricochets from the far cables and builds some serious momentum as he sprints across the ring.

Mayne: This isn’t gonna be good.

Mark: Not for Porno Lad.

The Original Prankster stands just in time to turn into a big suicide dive from Evermore. Axl flies through the ropes and travels like a speeding bullet towards his target only to have the World Heavyweight Title belt swung right into his face. The gold cracks off of his skull and Evermore is sent twisting and crashing back first right into the edge of the announce table.

Billy: Hooooolllly SHAT!

Mark: Good lord he just slammed into our table!

The fans collectively stand and watch with looks of horror on their faces at the sight of Evermore lying near comatose across the mats, his eyes rolling to the back of his head after that shot with the title belt. To make them all the more upset Porno Lad now lifts the gold above his head and begins slapping his chest.

Comeau: That was absolutely sickening, Evermore went for that high risk move and he got slapped in the face with the belt for his troubles.

Mayne: Not to mention the fact that he may have shattered his back against our announce table. This is your opportunity champ, take advantage while you can.

Mark: An opportunity he obtained through more of his blatant debauchery.

Billy: Quiet now, Mark, he’s going for the pin, prepare yourself for something epic.

Into the ring Axl rolls, ending up stretched precariously across his back as Porno Lad arrogantly inches towards the cover. Scooting across his knees the World Champion takes a few moments to posture and wink towards the outraged fans, who have pinned their hopes and their dreams upon their hometown hero to make good here in the place of his birth.

Porno Lad looks to shatter that dream as he’s done so many times before, dropping across Axl’s chest and grinding his forearm across the face. Evermore’s World title ambitions are fading and fading fast, the official regaining his senses just in time to make the count.

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Mayne: Another wasted opportunity.

3

The crowd is suddenly jarred as they realize that the official’s hand stopped just centimeters removed from the canvas thanks in large part to Evermore’s triumphant kick out.

Billy: BWHA!?!

Mark: In a truly unbelievable turn of events, Evermore KICKS OUT.

Mayne: How? The guy just pretty much broke every single bone in his body against our announce table.

Mark: He is still DETERMINED to emerge the World Heavyweight Champion, even if it means being crippled in the process.

Frustration is exuded from Porno Lad, who is red in the face as he rises to his knees and screams at the official. The referee confirms the validity of his count. This prompts Porno Lad to become even more aggressive, grabbing Axl by the bangs and yanking him up to his seat. He now wraps both legs around Evermore’s waist and applies a body scissors submission hold. All the while he slaps the back of Axl’s head, rubbing it in.

Billy: Body scissors locked on. How long has it been since we’ve seen this hold, Mark?

Mark: I’d applaud Porno Lad for busting out some old school wrestling if it weren’t for the fact that he just smashed Evermore in the face with the World Title, which will probably lead to him regaining that very belt.

Billy: No, no, no. Porno Lad didn’t HAVE to use the belt on Evermore, he would have gotten the submission regardless. Just look at Axl, he’s got no other alternative but to submit at this point.

Mark: Yeah, because he was hit in the head with the….never-mind, arguing with you is the definition of “futile.”

Porno Lad uses his thigh strength to squeeze Evermore’s mid-section until the ribs begin to dig into the vital organs they’re meant to protect. The shattered fragments of Axl’s abdomen feel on the verge of bursting through his flesh as he tries to hold on oh so desperately. The only thing that keeps him going, that compels him to continue fighting is the World Title belt, the very strap he tasted moments ago, the very strap that has caused him so much pain and continues to put him through such anguish.

An “Axl” chant has commenced from the crowd, firing up the challenger in spite of having severe internal injuries. Porno Lad extinguishes the fire within by squeezing his thighs even tighter around Axl’s waist. The challenger begins to slump over, desire trumped by agony.

Mayne: For you own well being, Evermore, just tap out already.

Mark: It looks like it’s going to take putting him out of commission entirely for Porno Lad to walk away the World Champion.

Another slap nails Axl in the back of the head as Porno Lad smack talks and literally smacks. This disrespectful gesture fills Evermore’s broken body with a surge of emotion. Every muscle in his frame tightens, veins piercing through his flesh and his eyes becoming overwhelmed with rage.

He lifts his elbow into the air and drives it down into Porno Lad’s knee, then does so again and again. Eventually the blows are enough to break Porno Lad’s grip. He leans forward and grabs Axl’s shoulder only to be nailed in the face this time with one of Axl’s lethal elbows. The stiff blow knocks Porno Lad to his spine as Evermore reaches back and grabs his leg. He rolls to his side, pulling Porno Lad along and eventually stretching him out across his stomach, He then leaps to the Champion’s side and grabs hold of the arm, lifting it up in order to apply the fujiwara.

Mark: Axl countered and he countered right into the fujiwara.

Mayne: NO! That’s not allowed to happen. Evermore’s not allowed to defy logic like this.

Evermore begins to establish his trademark submission to much fanfare before Porno Lad gets to his knees and punches Axl right in the kidneys, the very area that took the most damage when colliding with the announce table. Evermore bows his back, cringing from the well placed strike and breaking his attempt at the submission.

Porno Lad quickly grabs him by the shoulder and pulls him down to his back across the canvas before leaping into the air. He jumps right over Axl, right onto the middle rope and then springs back into the lionsault which connects directly across Evermore’s already damaged ribs.

Billy: Hahahaha, that’ll take the fight right out of his sail.

Mark: That’s not all it’ll do. It’ll only add to what has to be major internal damage on an already banged up Evermore.

After bouncing from the shattered mid-section of his rival Porno Lad falls from his knees into the lateral press, once again pressing his forearm to his adversary’s face.

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Evermore kicks out to the delight of the fans and to the dismay of the Champion.

Billy: This has just crossed the line into complete and utter insanity.

Mark: Axl with another kick out in spite of major damage to his internal organs.

A steaming Porno Lad drops into the lateral press again after instructing the official to count faster this time. He hooks one of the legs with one of his own for added leverage.

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Again Axl shocks the world, especially Porno Lad via launching a shoulder from the canvas. Rage burns behind the Original Prankster’s eyes as he sits on the canvas and tries to calm himself, taking deep, relaxing breaths.

Mayne: Don’t loose your focus PL, whatever you do, don’t loose your focus.

Porno Lad grits his teeth in the process of dragging Axl to his seat, hooking his arm and applying a modified abdominal stretch. Evermore remains seated across the canvas as his battered ribs are stretched and his shoulder almost pulled from its socket. Once again the crowd is driven to start another “Axl” chant, their lungs barely containing the oxygen necessary to do so.

Mark: These fans attempting to will Evermore out of this hold.

Mayne: These people are just plain fucked in the head. How can they be so sick? They’re actually DEMANDING that Evermore keep fighting in spite of the peril it poses to his body and his career. Sit down you deviants or I’ll be forced to shake my fist at you.

Comeau: And we certainly wouldn’t want that.

A bit of blood can be seen oozing from the corner of Axl’s mouth, implying that there is something awry transpiring beneath the surface of his bruising flesh. Porno Lad can detect this calamity, which is why he puts all his strength behind the abdominal stretch.

Mark: If Evermore can just hang in there….

Mayne: Your just as sick as these damn fans.

With fingers balled into a fist Evermore tries to fight but finds himself with little to no strength to do so. He just continues to fade, his arm slowly falling to his side as an indication that he’s loosing consciousness.

Billy: Good, Evermore’s gonna pass out and get rushed to a hospital for some much needed care. See, I actually give two shits about Axl’s condition.

Comeau: Oh please, we can all see right through your thinly veiled “concern.”

The official grabs Axl’s arm once it goes completely limp, lifting it back into the air then releasing it. The arm falls towards the canvas much to the crowd’s disappointment. They find themselves immediately relieved however, when Axl’s hand forms into a fist and shoots back towards the heavens, shaking above his head.

Mark: He’s still got a little fight left in him.

Mayne: You idiot! Don’t you realize your injured!?!

The crowd is positively rabid in their support for Evermore as he begins to inch his way from the canvas. Porno Lad cannot believe what is happening, he puts even more pressure into the hold but Evermore is still fighting his way upward. It dawns on the Original Prankster that no matter how much strength he puts into the abdominal stretch it isn’t going to be enough to put down this spark plug. He breaks the hold, grabs Axl by the hair and then yanks him down hard into the canvas spine first.

The back of Evermore’s skull thuds across the canvas while Porno Lad leaps to his feet, leaps over his challenger and then goes charging into the ropes. He springs to the middle cable.

Mayne: Here comes another career defining victory for Porn….

Mark: OUCH!

Porno Lad connects…..with the ring. Evermore rolls clear at the last second and as a result Porno Lad slams chest first into the canvas, popping back up to his knees and howling in pain.

Billy: He MISSED!?! How the hell did that happen?

Mark: Evermore got out of the way mere moments before anymore damage could be done to his mid-section. If ever he had a window of opportunity this would be it.

Axl can barely hold himself up, trying to get his legs under him as he grips the ropes with all he’s worth. Once he gets balanced, or as close to balanced as he can be, he breaks away from the ropes and throws a wild haymaker into Porno Lad’s jaw. The World Champion is dazed, knocked back a few steps and down a few pegs. He catches himself and steps in swinging towards Evermore only to have his fist blocked and to be nailed in the jaw with yet another shot.

Porno Lad swings his arms to remain upright as Porno Lad grabs hold of one of his flapping wrists and uses it to pull him into his shoulders. Evermore stands up holding Axl in a fireman’s carry then roaring in pain.

Mayne: Told you….idiot.

Mark: Evermore underestimating the extent of his injuries.

As Evermore’s back buckles Porno Lad slips off his shoulders and lands on his feet behind him. He then steps to Axl’s side, catches him by the thigh and the shoulder before heaving him up and dragging him down right across his raised knee with a gut buster.

Axl bounces off of the knee and goes rolling across the canvas, kicking and trashing in the process. He actually bites the ring as he wraps his arms around his badly damaged torso. Porno Lad grabs his shoulder and drags him off his side to his back so that he can be pinned.

Billy: There is no doubt about it now, Porno Lad is on his way to retaining the World Title.

Mark: After that lung blower on an injured mid-section Porno Lad could be on the verge of cementing his championship status.

The official drops into position, makes sure Axl’s shoulders are pinned square to the canvas then slaps the mat.

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NO….another kick out from Evermore to far more pomp from the crowd.

Mark: And Evermore just continues to make a believer out of me and I daresay everyone else watching around the world.

Mayne: What does Axl think he’s going to accomplish here? Really? If he wins the World Title he’s not gonna be able to defend it. He’s gonna be crippled.

An aggravated Porno Lad snatches hold of Evermore’s pony tail and uses it to begin dragging the sweat soaked challenger towards his feet. Once upright Axl’s ribs are pinned to Porno Lad’s shoulder and he’s charged spine first right into the turnbuckle. All of PL’s weight is driven into the ribs of the challenger, who screams out in agony.

Porno Lad now spins Evermore around and wedges his chest against the turnbuckle before throwing a forearm directly into the kidneys. Again Axl cries out, wailing from the crippling pain that flows all throughout his badly banged up mid-section.

Mayne: Alright Axl, if this is what you want, FINE, but don’t say I didn’t warn you. At this rate you can consider Evermore’s career effectively over.

Mark: He’s surprised us so many times throughout this match, Billy, don’t sell him short now.

Billy: What? Do you want me to clap my hands and chant “I believe, I believe, I believe?” I’m a realist Mark, I don’t believe in fairies, and I don’t believe in fairy tales.

Blood continues to dribble from the corners of Evermore’s mouth as another forearm is driven into his kidneys. Porno Lad now steps back and then throws all his weight into a shoulder block to the lower back yet again. Axl’s eyes droop and his mouth hangs agape, clawing at the turnbuckle at this point.

He fights to remain upright but learns to regret keeping his legs planted under him the moment that Porno Lad takes him around the waist and drops back.

Mayne: Chaos Theory numbero dos!

Axl is dragged along into a backwards roll with both men ending up on their feet, Porno Lad seconds from delivering the German suplex. Just as PL begins to drop back and deliver the scintillating suplex Evermore takes him around the neck and falls instead to his seat, countering into the Fully Loaded stunner.

Mayne: OHHH WHAT!?!

Mark: Counter….reversal from Chaos Theory to stunner!

The fans are equally as blown away as the commentary team at the sight of Porno Lad’s jaw popping off of Evermore’s shoulder and his body following suit. He stands upright before tumbling like a sequoia to the canvas. Evermore remains seated on the canvas, sweat beading down his bruised and swelling flesh. It seems as if he doesn’t even realize what he’s done, his maneuver more like a muscle response than a well thought out counter.

He falls back to his side and begins to scoot across the canvas once he regains control of his mental faculties. He climbs right over Porno Lad’s chest and hooks the legs to a delighted, spellbound audience. They all stand up, converging around the barricades with eyes wide and lungs exploding with anxiety.

Mark: Was that counter Evermore’s ticket to the title?

Every eye is fixed on the ring as the official’s hand slaps the canvas.

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No! Porno Lad surprises everyone by launching his shoulder from the ring and preventing the loss of his World Title.

Mayne: Well that was it. That was Axl’s final chance at winning the championship. Consider the window of opportunity effectively slammed shut.

Mark: I think Evermore will take a baseball to that window soon enough.

Billy: Don’t use my analogies against me.

Although his mid-section is very badly banged up he works his way towards his feet, struggling for every breathe and every muscle movement. He grabs Porno Lad around the neck and slowly begins to lead him up to his feet when the World Champion connects with a double palm thrust straight to his ribs.

A roar emits from Axl, who staggers back bending forward and clutching at all the muscles that have been severally strained in his mid-section. That’s when Porno Lad leaps to his feet and charges in to take advantage. He walks right into a hurricarana however. Evermore catches him around the neck with his legs then snaps back, flipping Porno Lad over into the pinning predicament.

He ends up seated across Porno Lad’s chest, hooking the creases of the knees with the crowd cheering along.

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PL kicks out to a riveting response from an exasperated audience.

Mayne: Oh God that was TOO close.

Mark: Wait, look at this counter!

In the midst of the kick out Porno Lad rolls back, grabbing hold of Evermore’s legs and lifting them up to his armpits.

Mayne: He countered right into the liontamer, yippee, yippee!

Mark: An amazing revers……spoke too soon.

All of a sudden Axl rolls to his back, reversing out of the liontamer before it can be applied. Porno Lad turns to face Evermore still holding onto the legs and still try to turn him to his stomach so that he can get the submission locked in. Axl knows that if the hold is established his dreams of becoming World Champion go up in smoke.

This prompts him to fight through the enflamed ribs, the enflamed back, the enflamed organs. He suddenly twists to his side with all the strength of his hips, sending Porno Lad flipping over and crashing into the canvas.

Mayne: Damn your hide….just cut the shit already Evermore.

Mark: What the hell does that even mean?

Billy: I don’t know, when I’m angry I speak gibberish.

Comeau: Then you must be angry all the time.

A wild eyed Porno Lad rolls across the canvas right into the ropes, clutching at them to use to a crutch in which to reach his feet. Evermore gets up very slowly considering the state of his mid-section, but still stands just in time to catch Porno Lad coming in with a heel kick that catches him directly to the ribs.

Porno Lad doubles over grabbing at his gut just as Evermore reaches out and snatches him by the neck, setting for the stunner.

Billy: Not another one….oh thank heavens.

To the detriment of the audience Porno Lad wraps his arms around Axl’s waist and shoves him forward in the direction of the turnbuckle, reversing the stunner into yet another attempt at the Chaos Theory.

Evermore hits the corner chest first but wraps his arms around it as Porno Lad tries to drop back into the rolling German. PL keeps yanking at his waist but can’t break his grasp on the turnbuckle. Finally Porno Lad breaks the rear waist lock and backs up before getting a running start, leaping into the air with his knee extended.

Unfortunately his knee doesn’t connect with Evermore, instead it’s caught in Axl’s clutches. Evermore turns around just in time to reach out and catch the flying knee under his armpit and push Porno Lad down to the canvas. He then reaches down and grabs the other leg, tucking it under his armpit before dropping back, catapulting Porno Lad face first directly into the turnbuckle.

Mark: His skull just WHACKED that corner.

Mayne: This isn’t funny, this is horrible, absolutely horrible!

Mark: And this is even WORSE for Porno Lad.

Axl remains laid out under the standing, yet discombobulated Porno Lad, before reaching up and catching him by the hips. He pulls him down into what at first appears to be a sunset flip only for Axl to stand up, grab hold of his ankle, lift it into the air, thus rolling PL to his stomach then drop down at his side, lifting his arm up into the fujiwara.

Comeau: FUJIWARA! Axl’s got the very hold on Porno Lad that forced Jon Rich to tap out at Paranoia. Will he cause yet another member of the Five Star Society to submit?

The building rumbles with anticipation, every fan leaping around in hysterics as they watch Porno Lad trash about on the canvas, desperately trying to escape this hold. He lifts his shaking palm into the air, ready to slap the canvas and tap to the unspeakable anguish that flows from his hyperextended bicep and his near dislocated shoulder.

Axl rears back on the arm as far as he can, trying to force the submission and earn the World Heavyweight Title in the process. The fans are truly electrified, feeling the sense of change in the air, knowing that they could be in store for something truly special.

Mayne: Don’t you tap Porno Lad, don’t you submit dammit.

Mark: Ladies and gentlemen we are on the brink of crowning a new World Heavyweight Champion. Evermore defying the odds, defying all expectations, and defying all injuries in order to emerge with the belt right here tonight.

Billy: It isn’t over yet, Porno Lad hasn’t tapped yet dammit.

Axl keeps rocking back and forth in order to apply more torque and pressure on the arm. Instead of tapping out Porno Lad bites his hand, trying to block out the pain that flows all throughout his arm. Axl can feel it, the fans can feel it, everyone in the locker-room can feel it, even Porno Lad can feel it, the World Title hangs by a thread.

In a flash Porno Lad rolls away from Evermore, flipping him over his body and onto the back of his shoulders. Before Axl realizes it, the fujiwara has been broken and Porno Lad is standing over him, gripping him by the knees. A shocked Evermore is rolled to his stomach and placed in the liontamer.

Mayne: HAHAHAHAHA, YES, YEEEEESSS!

Comeau: Talk about a complete reversal of fortunes. Evermore goes from being seconds away from becoming World Champion to fighting for his life.

Jaws hang and eyes widen as Evermore finds himself stretched across his chest and palms, his body being bent like a pretzel at the hands of the Original Prankster. Porno Lad rears back on the legs over and over again, leaning back as far as he can to properly torque the back, stretching every strained muscle and putting pressure on every broken bone. Blood oozes from Axl’s mouth as he suffers even more internal bleeding due to a compilation of injuries. He unleashes a roar as an outlet for his agony. Porno Lad roars to alleviate his own pain and tension.

Mayne: It’s all but over, Porno Lad has just countered his way into the victory.

Mark: As you said earlier, Billy, there’s been no tap out so there’s no winner yet.

Mayne: I said, nor implied no such thing.

A solid stream of blood flows down from Evermore’s mouth as he uses his palms to push himself up off of the canvas and glare at the far cables.

Mark: You’ve got to get to those ropes Axl, you’ve GOT to get to those ropes.

With both men roaring and extremely fatigued they find themselves interlocked in a hold that will drastically affect either man’s career. Evermore knows what’s at stake, which is why he digs his claws into the canvas and begins to force his way across the ring towards the ropes. Although they are so, so far away he keeps pulling himself towards them, knowing that this may be his last shot at the belt for a whole year.

Porno Lad twists the body of his challenger, determined to hear the spine snap and the organs within his body implode, or at the very least the sound of Evermore’s hand slapping the canvas. It looks as if he’s about to get some sweet music for his ears, Evermore’s hand lifting above the canvas, teetering on the brink of submission.

Mayne: Yes, it’s over, thank good God it’s over.

Mark: He still hasn’t tapped.

After having his body mangled by the announce table and worked over through two separate matches Evermore would have to be a lunatic not to tap out. Yet again he demonstrates that maybe he is a little off kilter when he slams his palm into the canvas not to tap but to continue pulling himself towards the ropes. With the crowd chanting his name and pleading with him to keep fighting Axl reaches out and grabs the bottom rope.

Comeau: He grabbed the cables, good lord Evermore actually got to the ropes.

Mayne: This is getting ridiculous. Put him out of his misery already Porno Lad.

The World Champion crumbles to his knees the moment the official pries him off of the challenger. He looks absolutely lost for thought, unable to process the fact that Evermore has freed himself from this submission. His trembling fingers slide through his sweaty hair before his palms slap down over his face. Behind PL’s back, Axl is utilizing the cables to drag his broken body upward.

Mark: You couldn’t ask for a better main event ladies and gentlemen. I haven’t seen a World Title match like this on Riot! in years. There’s been so much drama, so much excitement. I thought Axl had the title won several times.

Mayne: But Porno Lad has cut him off at every pass, which he is about to do yet again. Get ‘em Porno Lad, get ‘em.

A highly fatigued Porno Lad steps in behind Evermore and catches him by the shoulder, spinning him around. Evermore spins right into a knife edge chop that lands right across Porno Lad’s sternum. The strike sends PL staggering back but eventually planting his feet. He then delivers a swift boot to Axl’s ribs, doubling him over. To the dismay of the crowd PL reaches out, takes Evermore around the thigh and the shoulder then lifts him up into the air for the gut buster.

Axl’s stomach comes right down into Porno Lad’s raised knee, or so that’s when the champ would like to think. His thought processes are skewed the moment he realizes that his knee has instead been caught against Axl’s stomach and is now pinned under the challenger’s armpit. Evermore stands up straight and then hits an inside leg trip on Porno Lad, knocking his other leg out from under him. PL collapses to his back with both legs now raised and tucked under Evermore’s arms, the challenger dropping back into a catapult.

Mayne: Not again….

Mark: Porno Lad’s gonna get a mouthful of…..no, he countered!

Instead of slamming into the corner Porno Lad lands on it, catching the top rope and planting his feet on the middle cable. As Evermore stands up behind him PL takes flight, twisting through the air into a flying double axehandle. Unfortunately for the Champion, as soon as he turns around Evermore leaps into the air, catches him around the neck and delivers the Fully Loaded stunner.

Comeau: HOLY SHIT! He caught him with a spectacular stunner again!

Mayne: I think my balls just dropped.

Comeau: Porno Lad caught Axl in mid-move and absolutely drilled him with the Fully Loaded Stunner. This is how he defeated Pat Evans earlier tonight, can he do it yet again and this time emerge as the World Champion?

Although Axl feels like he was in a head on car collision, his mangled, warped body climbs into the cover, stretching across Porno Lad’s sternum. Every fan in attendance is screaming with elation, overjoyed at the prospect that the World Title is seemingly seconds from changing hands.

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Mark: History made right here on Riot! The World Title moments from changing hands, can Axl fulfill his destiny?

3!?!

The whole building implodes, the fans literally erupting into hysterics at the sight of Axl Evermore....ALMOST winning the World Heavyweight Title. A fraction of a second before the full three count can be made Porno Lad launches a shoulder from the canvas, depriving Evermore of the championship yet again. Axl sits up running his hands through his bangs and then squeezing clumps of his hair in utter frustration.

Comeau: So close, SO CLOSE to a new World Champion being crowned here this evening. Axl was one second, that’s right ONE SECOND removed from emerging from the Manhattan Center with the championship in hand.

Mayne: I think I may have just shit a kitten, Mark. Seriously, there is a shitty kitten in my underpants right now. There’s no reason that last pinfall should have been close. Do these two not realize what they’re doing to my blood pressure?

Mark: I think everyone’s blood pressure has raised as a result of this nail biting World Title match. Can Axl pull it off here in his hometown?

Despite the crippling injury to his back Axl continues to wage this epic war for the title. He now leans back, pressing all his weight via his spine across Porno Lad’s chest and hooking his leg, hoping that the first kick-out was no more than a fluke. Once again the fans are counting along as the official slaps the canvas and brings this unbelievable match to an oh so satisfying conclusion.

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Axl can feel the belt in his hands before instead feeling the shock as his pin is reversed into a crucifix roll up. Evermore is only on the back of his shoulders for a mere moment before Porno Lad stands, grabs him by the knees and rolls him to his stomach, applying the liontamer to a piercing roar from the crowd.

Mayne: Now THAT’S a reversal. A Title saving reversal!

Comeau: My Gawd, Porno Lad has countered the pin into the liontamer out of nowhere. Liontamer locked in!

Everyone packed in the Manhattan Center can feel that Axl is now in a truly dire situation. He wedges his forearms to the canvas, elevating himself from the ring and shaking his head back and forth frantically, sweat flying from his reddening skin. Porno Lad is in just as much pain as he rears back, twisting Evermore’s body beneath him, contorting it to the point where the spine threatens to snap.

Mark: Axl fought out of this liontamer earlier in the match. Is he gonna be capable of doing it again? Is there any hope left for the challenger?

Billy: No, and no. Miracles don’t happen in the same place twice.

Mark: Your thinking of lightning.

Billy: Yeah, so, the same rule applies to miracles, now cram it.

The fans are emotionally invested in this climax to what has been one of the most courageous World Title bouts they’ve ever witnessed. They are on pins and needles, eyes full and intently focused on Evermore as he digs his claws into the ring and tries to once again do the unthinkable.

Mark: He’s going for the ropes, Billy.

Mayne: Let him try, it’s pointless I tell you, pointless!

Inch by agonizing, excruciating, painstaking inch, Evermore begins to scrape and claw towards the ropes. Even as he is bent like a pretzel his resolve will not be weakened. Porno Lad tries to hold on but finds himself back peddling towards the ropes, dragged along by his determined opponent. Finally Axl reaches out for the ropes and the crowd squeals with excitement.

Comeau: Axl has made it to the rop…..noooo!

Just before his fingers could wrap around the bottom cable, Porno Lad drags Evermore to the center of the ring and then wedges a knee directly to his kidneys. Now Evermore’s body is not only bent at an angle no body should be contorted, but he has the added pressure of a knee digging into his kidneys.

Mayne: Porno….he pulled him….he’s got him in the center of the ring and he’s got that knee right in Axl’s injured back!

Mark: Keep fighting Evermore, keep fighting.

Jaws hang ajar, eyes open wide, heart beats race as Axl glares at the ropes and simultaneously raised a hand into the air.

Comeau: Don’t do it Axl, don’t do it.

As Porno Lad roars at the top of his lungs, putting the remainder of his strength behind the hold, Evermore’s palm slaps the canvas, tapping out.

Mayne: He submits, he submits to the liontamer!

Comeau: Evermore’s body could only stand so much punishment and at the end of the night he finally went past his threshold for pain.

As the bell sounds in the background Porno Lad not only breaks the hold but keels over completely, almost passing out from fatigue. He collapses to his elbows and knees, looking as if he’s just gotten out of the shower as the sweat rolls down his exhausted, near crippled body.

Billy: Porno Lad pulls it off again, in spite of overwhelming odds he retains his World Heavyweight Championship.

Mark: I’m not sure if I would say the odds were overwhelming, given that Evermore already wrestled once tonight, but he still came within seconds of defeating Porno Lad numerous times for the title.

Mayne: You couldn’t ask for a better match than that out of our champion. That was without a doubt, pun definitely intended, a five star performance from Porno Lad.

Although Axl was defeated the crowd is still standing and chanting his name, inspired by a performance that had the crowd’s adrenaline surging the whole way through. In spite of loss Evermore can still hold his head high, knowing that he ALMOST won the biggest match of his career. Porno Lad shows the wear and tear of Axl’s performance, standing with the aid of the official who plants the World Title in his palm and supports the gold high above the champion’s head. Porno Lad drapes the title across his forearms and plants a kiss on the golden plate.

Mark: Once again Porno Lad did stands triumphant. I might not like the way he gets things done but I can’t argue that he’s been successful.

Mayne: No you can’t, and don’t you understate Porno Lad’s performance here. He made Axl, one half of Submission Domination, TAP OUT.

Comeau: I think the announce table made that possible, but nevertheless Porno Lad retains his title after an AMAZING one on one….

While Porno Lad hams it up in the center of the ring and Axl quietly bows out of the ring, leaning against the apron with one hand put to his back the crowd is jarred by some all too familiar lyrics. Evermore is in the midst of slapping their outstretched hands and getting some well deserved pats on the back as he heads up the ramp when Desolation comes strutting to the stage.

Mayne: What the hell!?! Why is here? Why is HERE!?!

Mark: Desolation IS here tonight. I thought we weren’t going to hear from him till next week.

Mayne: That’s flagrant false advertisement. I’m suing, I’m suing Desolation personally for showing up here and trying to ruin Porno Lad’s moment.

The crowd is short on breath but continue to wail at the sight of the Dark Man’s unexpected arrival. Desolation stands stoically on the center of the stage, listening to his entrance music die out and be replaced by a swarm of fans chanting his name. Clearly Porno Lad is frustrated in the center of the ring, standing up and swiping his arms through the air, demanding an explanation for this rude interruption. He points to the belt, then slaps his chest then gestures to the ring, implying that he is the champ, that he deserves answers, and that this is his moment. Desolation could care less about his pantomiming nor the significance behind it, he’s come to deliver a message and he hopes right to it.

Desolation: You know, it just didn’t feel right to let down the fans who came here tonight exclusively to see me. Frankly, I think forcing the fans to wait on my first appearance post Paranoia would just be selfish on my part. So here I am, two weeks early, your welcome.

He gestures towards the crowd which is screaming his name in tandem. There’s only one man in the vicinity of the ring who isn’t chanting for the Dark Man, and that’s the World Champion, who is beyond irate that his thunder has been stolen.

Desolation: And since I’m here, I might as well as do SOMETHING productive, other than, you know, give people a reason to watch this show. I guess I should go ahead and tinker with the show, and completely abuse my power. What else is a wrestling president supposed to do, right?

If Porno Lad wasn’t concerned before now his stomach is in knots.

Desolation: Considering that I’m the “good” boss, there’s something horribly wrong about that, I guess I should right a wrong I saw committed earlier and be the whole “conscious” of the IWC….yadda, yadda, yadda. Bottom-line, Porno Lad….

For once the World Champion resents being made the center of attention.

Desolation: Axl Evermore, you know, the guy who just took you to the limit for the World Title, he wasn’t the only one who qualified to face you here tonight.

Porno Lad goes from nodding to shaking his head in vehement denial.

Porno Lad: Yes he was, YES HE WAS!?!

Desolation: No, no, no he wasn’t. As much as it pains me to say it, there was one other guy who won, yet was jiped out of the opportunity to face you based on some type of ridiculous technicality. As the moral core of the IWC…..I’m gonna have to shower after saying that…..I’m gonna fix this injustice. So guess what Porno Lad, your night isn’t over yet, your gonna defend that title again, and your gonna defend it right now against the former World Champion, Jason Zero.

Mark: WHOA!

Mayne: He can’t do that, only Dan Douglas can do that.

Mark: Not anymore, Billy. I would say there’s a new sheriff in town if Desolation would bust my melon with a buzzsaw kick. The Dark Man has just pulled a reversal of fortunes on Porno Lad, he’s used his power to make an ungodly match right here, right now for the World Championship.

Desolation slowly backs towards the curtains which part as Jason Zero steps through them. The former Champion is met with a piercing roar of approval from the crowd, who are gathered around the barricades slapping the steel protective plates and screaming at the top of their lungs. Porno Lad looks positively queasy in the center of the ring. Shaking his head and cradling his championship to his chest.

Mayne: He’s in disbelief, I’m in disbelief. EVERYONE is in disbelief. This is a travesty, an injustice of the highest order. Desolation is trying to SCREW Porno Lad out of the title.

Mark: At least he’s blatant about it, and he has justification for making this match. Jason Zero earned this shot at the World Title.

Mayne: The hell he did, he didn’t PIN Riggs to earn it.

Comeau: Yeah, but he beat Riggs via a count-out, it was Dan Douglas who changed the rules right at the last second. And now Douglas’ and Porno Lad’s tactics are being exploited against them.

Zero drops to the stage, pounds his fist against the steel and then leaps to his feet pointing directly at the title draped over Porno Lad’s shoulder. The Original Prankster backs across the ring still shaking his head and refusing to believe that he’s become an unwitting victim of a swerve. The new co-owner sneers at Zero as he passes and backs through the curtains. He came, he abused his power, and now he’s leaving to cheers from the crowd.

Speaking of which, the fans can feel the anticipation building with each step that Zero takes towards the ring, where he will lock up with Porno Lad and have the rematch that he’s been waiting for since Paranoia. Zero pauses at the end of the ramp, eyes locked on the delusional Porno Lad, who is still refusing to accept that he has to defend his title for a second time after just surviving an epic confrontation with Evermore.

Mayne: This isn’t right, this ISN’T right. Where is Douglas? Why hasn’t be vetoed this power play from Desolation?

Mark: Because he CAN’T, Billy. Dan and Desolation share the IWC 50/50, the ownership is split right down the middle.

Billy: Arrrgh, this is like a nightmare.

Jason climbs slowly to the apron, glaring over the ropes at a terrified Porno Lad, who almost has tears filling his eyes. He is shaking his head and insisting that this is not how a World Champion should be treated. It’s at this point that Jason lifts his hands and pretends to play the world’s smallest violin. Referee Fitzpatrick is on hand to call the action, on the verge of having the bell rung to officially start World Title match number two.

Porno Lad leaps in front of him, cutting him off and DEMANDING that he not start this match. He buries a finger to the ref’s shirt and physically pushes him back.

Mark: There’s nothing you can do about it Eth….wait a minute.

Mayne: Yeah there is something that can be done about it.

Zero was half way in the ring before being yanked out by the ankles. Jason lands on his feet across the mats only to be knocked from them by a clothesline to the back of the head. The crowd is disgusted at the sight of Jon Rich and Katelyn Buehler putting the boots to the challenger. All the while Katie Steward, Paris Dannon and Robin Brooks are making their way down the ramp to join in on the mugging.

Mark: Dammit to all hell and back, the Five Star Society is mugging Jason Zero before this match could begin. Haven’t they done enough here tonight?

Mayne: No they haven’t, not until they’ve ensured that Porno Lad leaves with the World Heavyweight Title….and oh, ho, ho. You said that Dan couldn’t veto this match, well you stand corrected.

Through the curtains strolls the Chairman of the Board himself, Dan Douglas. He slowly makes his way down the ramp looking furious over the swerve that Desolation has pulled and the fact that Zero actually thought he could disobey a direct order.

Mark: Of course. Dan must have sent this goon squad out here to stop Jason the moment he heard Desolation’s announcement.

Mayne: It’s brilliant. The Five Star Society is only enforcing Douglas’ earlier ruling, a ruling Desolation had no right to overturn.

Comeau: This is the epitome of classless.

Jason is now held up with both his arms pinned to the sternums of Rich and Buehler, the pear holding the challenger in place. Once his rival is restrained Porno Lad brims with confidence, rolling under the ropes to the outside of the ring and stepping mono-a-mono to the IWC’s white knight.

Porno Lad: You don’t call the shots around here, Desolation doesn’t call the shots around here, NO ONE calls the shots but the CHAMP. I’M the champ, your not and you never will be again, DEAL with it!

Zero tries to bust free but is held too tightly. He is given ample motivation to break from the clutches of his captors as Porno Lad pie faces him with the gold plate of the championship. Much laughter is had by the Five Star Society, especially Porno Lad who steps back throwing his belt high above his head, who has once again manipulated his way out of a tight spot….

Suddenly the Cartel-tron flashes from the chaotic scene at ringside to the backstage parking facility.

Mayne: NOW what’s going on? I bet ya Douglas had a special hummer limo brought in exclusively for the Five Star Society so they could….

Billy suddenly chokes on his words the moment an ambulance comes barreling into the parking lot and screeches to a stop. The sirens are still blaring and reflecting from the cement walls of the enclosed facility.

Mark: Where did that ambulance come…..is that who I think it is behind the wheel?

Mayne: It couldn’t be, it just can’t be.

The building rumbles as the ambulance door flies open and from behind the driver’s wheel Christian Savior emerges.

Comeau: IT IS!

Mayne: This…this….THIS…can’t be.

Despite the fact that his black and blue swelled arm is pinned to his chest Christian storms through the parking lot towards the ring as if he weren’t injured whatsoever. Porno Lad’s jaw has dropped, his whole face twisted with fear and his intestines knotting. Douglas’ face has gone a pale shade of white as he watches the Cartel-tron in absolute horror.

Mayne: He wouldn’t come out here….nope….he wouldn’t be that stupid.

Savior’s entrance theme blares across the loud speakers.

Billy: YIKES!

Mark: And there he is, Savior is BACK!

The crowd is going absolutely nuts as Savior stomps through the curtains and doesn’t even hesitate to make his way down the ramp. He points straight at the World Heavyweight Champion who is now back peddling towards the ring. He rolls in under the ropes and shouts at the Five Star Society to protect him. Dannon goes rushing up the ramp, following orders and throwing a right hand at Savior that is ducked. Christian steps behind Paris, who spins around and gets clocked right in the cheek with a big boot.

Mark: Savior, who was just rushed to the hospital after his arm was viciously attacked, is now back and he’s going right after the Five Star Society, the very group that betrayed him at Paranoia.

Raw adrenaline keeps Christian going in spite of his injuries. He steps towards Brooks who launches a right hand at his face only to have it blocked. The Rising Phoenix then delivers a forearm strike directly to her jaw, knocking her down to the stage. This proves just the distraction that Jason needed to free himself. He bursts from the clutches of his captors and delivers a sternum ripping chop to Rich, knocking him to the stage.

He then hauls off and decks Katelyn to the jaw, sending her spiraling into the barricade.

Mayne: This is WORSE than a nightmare. Zero got loose somehow!

Mark: And it’s all thanks to *gasp* SAVIOR.

Heart beats continue to race as Porno Lad watches from the relative safety of the ring, eyes glued to the chaos beyond the ropes. It’s at this point, with all the FSS members laid out at ringside, that Dan Douglas begins to feel faint. He turns from Christian to Jason, back to Savior, back to Zero, realizing that he’s trapped between two rabid animals eager to make him their new chew toy.

Billy: Get out of there Douglas, get out of there.

The panic stricken Douglas quickly rushes towards the barricade and leaps over into the crowd, shoving the fans out of his way as he flees towards the backstage area.

Comeau: Dan running away like the coward he is.

Mayne: You think he should fight Savior and Zero, are you MAD!?! And look at Porno Lad, he’s just as smart as our president.

Once again Porno Lad is under the magnifying glass, Jason Zero and Christian Savior beaming a glare in his direction. Instead of shivering in fear the Original Prankster merely grins, backing across the ring, realizing that he has a very obvious escape route. He lightly shoves the official aside and back peddles towards the ropes, about to exit stage right and avoid the wrath of his rivals.

Billy: Get out of here Porno Lad, get out of here….WAIT!?!

Porno Lad throws his arms out to his sides as he gloats.

Porno Lad: I’m the champ boys, I’ll decide when I defend this tit….

Suddenly the creases of his elbows are caught from behind and he’s twisted around, ultimately being planted face first into the ring with an unprettier from Jackson Adams.

Mayne: WHAT!?! Adams just…just….just gave Porno Lad the unprettier. I thought these two were tight!

Mark: You and Porno Lad were the only two who thought so. Adams getting some retribution on Porno Lad after that disgusting act at the conclusion of Orlando Cruze’s goodbye speech.

Mayne: Has he any idea what he’s done, any idea whatsoever of the severity of his actions!?!

To a surprisingly loud ovation Adams rolls to his feet, slaps his chest and then gestures for Jason to get his ass in the ring. As Zero leaps to the apron Adams slips through the ropes, leaving on the opposite side of the ring, giving Jason the spotlight. PL rolls to his back across the canvas clutching at his possibly fractured skull while Jason gestures to the official and then grabs the top rope.

Mayne: Wait….wait a second….this match still can’t be happening can it? CAN IT!?!

The bell chimes to officially start this World Title match.

Mark: I think that answers your question.

Mayne: No, NOOOO!!

As soon as the bell rings Jason leaps to the top rope and now comes flipping off of it right into the Night Flight, crashing into Porno Lad’s ribs and immediately hooking his legs.

Billy: This isn’t….this isn’t….this isn’t FAIR!

Fitzpatrick drops to the canvas, slapping the ring and bringing the fans out of their seats in sheer excitement.

1

2

Mark: We could see a NEW World Champion?

Mayne: This can’t be happening.

3!

The Manhattan Center almost explodes as the fans leap from their seats and drown out all other sounds with their high pitched wails. They scream so loud because Jason just came so close to picking up the win before being grabbed around the neck and dragged off of the cover by CHRISTIAN.

Mayne: I thought Savior came out here to help Zero! Wait, why am I complaining about this?

Mark: Now Christian is attacking his own brother. The guy is completely out of control. Doesn’t he realize that he may have just cost him the World Championship?

Billy: I’m pretty sure that was the point.

Zero pulls back his fist the moment he reaches his feet but its still a moment too late. Savior leaps into the air and catches the back of his brother’s head with one hand before dragging him down face first into his raised knees. The code breaker connects with enough force to cause Jason to stand up then tumble back like a tree falling in the forest.

Mayne: And a CODE BREAKER for Jason’s troubles. Hahahaha, just when I had abandoned all hope in Savior he goes and he slightly redeems himself.

Although his arm is killing him, evident by his grasp on his shoulder and his grimacing features, Savior rises to his feet and backs across the ring. He now turns and locks his sights on Porno Lad, who is struggling to reach his feet. He’s got one knee under him and now a foot, the World Champion determined to end this night on a high note. He finally gets up, legs almost buckling beneath him and then turns right into the Spear of Destiny. Christian’s shoulder connects with enough force to PL’s gut to almost burst every internal organ in his body.

Mayne: NOOOO!

Mark: Christian with the spear on Porno Lad. Oh how gratifying that must have felt.

Savior rolls across the canvas clasping at his shoulder, which had to be mangled upon impact with Porno Lad’s mid-section. He blocks out the pain and rises to his feet, stooped over the World Heavyweight Title belt draped across the canvas. Without delay he reaches down, grabs the strap and slowly, dramatically raises it above his head to a reaction that shakes the very foundation of the Manhattan Center.

Comeau: Christian returned and has left EVERYONE laying in his wake, including his own brother. He has shown here tonight that he’s out for one man, and one man only, himself.

Mayne: He just had the perfect opportunity to allow Zero to take the strap from Porno Lad, but I think HE wants to be the man to accomplish that feat. Fat chance of that happening though.

The crowd continues to scream over this exciting, dramatic conclusion to one of the most exhilarating editions of Riot! yet. Christian continues to stand in the center of the ring, lifting the championship over the bodies of both Jason Zero and the World Champion, Porno Lad.

FADE TO BLACK