OPENING VIDEO PACKAGE

A silent living room extends across the camera’s view, with thousands of little Christmas bulbs flashing around a hefty tree. Beneath the heavily ornamented tree, which is decorated with everything from sparkling garland to shimmering title belts, are a number of delicately wrapped presents.

A gentle fire burns in the chimney, where stockings are hanging, featuring the names “Jason Wheeler,” “Orlando Cruze,” and “Christian Savior.”

There are absolutely no traces of life in the dimly lit room, not even the occasional mouse. That’s until a loud outburst is heard emanating from the chimney.

HO-HO-HO!

Dust falls down onto the raging fire but does not put it down as a jolly old Saint Nick tries to work his way down into the living room. He stops at the halfway point of the chimney.

Santa: What the?

The fire singes the bottom of his boots.

Santa: ARGH!

The sound of his fat body forcing its way back up the chimney is heard. Several moments later a shadowy figure can be seen outside the window just behind the Christmas tree. Snow is wiped away from a portion of the glass as a circle begins to be cut from the pane.

Once the circle is cut it’s removed and a red gloved hand reaches through to the inside of the living room, grabbing the window lock. It’s twisted and the window is raised as the jolly fat man of festive lore begins to slip discreetly into the house. He has trouble getting his hefty proportions into the home, but once inside he breaths a sigh of relief.

Santa: Thank God Santa spent that year in Sing-Sing prison.

He reaches through the window and grabs his large bag of toys, dragging the sack into the living room where it unfortunately knocks something from the tree. It collapses to the ground and shatters, causing Santa to freeze in frame, his eyes nervously cutting back and forth.

Once he’s assured that no one heard him he breathes a sigh of relief and approaches the tree on his tip toes.

Santa: No attack dogs, there’s a relief. Now let’s see what we got for the good kiddies of the IWC.

He stoops down in front of the tree and reaches into his sack, beginning to remove something.

Santa: What do we got here for Pat Evans? Oh, he’ll love this for his Submission title match against Hurse.

A chain is removed from the sack with a little bow tied around it. He deposits it under the tree and reaches back into his sack of toys.

Santa: Let’s see now, where’s Johnny Kingdom’s present? Eww, this should come in handy for his Weapon’s Lair bout tonight.

A plank wrapped in barbwire and topped off with a toupee is gently extracted from the sack and sat upright against the Christmas tree.

Santa: Oh, I almost forgot about Christian Savior.

Santa pulls out a large lump of black coal and tosses it over his shoulder, where it miraculously lands right in side of Christian’s Christmas stocking. The tub of goo slaps his hands together in anticipation and reaches back into the sack.

Santa: AH-HA. Just what Robin Brooks has always wanted.

A queenly tiara is placed under the tree.

Santa: And Psycho and Riggs should like this. Riggs will need for his World title match against that bad kid Savior.

A large gathering of utensils tied together by a rubber band is held aloft, their silver, sharpened points shimmering. They are put down right beside the tiara.

Santa: And we can’t forget Porno Lad.

A huge stack of Hustler magazines are positioned in the shade of the tree.

Santa: Oh, and Hellkat should find this helpful. A key to the Weapon’s Lair.

He hangs a brass key on the tree like it were an ornament before standing with his back cracking.

Santa: Now that that’s all taken care of, let’s see what we were left for a treat.

An eager Saint Nick slaps his palms together eagerly and spots a plate full of fig newtons.

Santa: FIG NEWTONS!?! Cheap bastards.

Santa removes his glove and slowly reaches out for the low fat cookie before the lights in the room are switched on and prove quite blinding for the gentle seasonal spirit.

Hold it right there.

The startled Santa tries to cover his eyes with his hands and struggles to see the men who have caught him. Out of the kitchen now saunters Max Craven and Axl Evermore, both men slapping batons against their free palms.

Santa: OHHH, Axl, Max, you frightened me. I hear you’ve both been a little naughty this yea..

Axl Evermore: Can it Santa. You’ve got some explaining to do.

Santa: Oh?

Craven: Damn straight. Now where’s my train set?

Santa: Huh?

Max: My TRAIN SET! I asked you for one personally fifteen years ago and I never got it.

Axl: And where’s my John Madden football phone helmet you cheap whore?

They advance towards Santa as he lifts his palms into the air, slowly backing towards the open window.

Santa: Gentlemen, relax, relax, Santa’s just a forgetful person. I need a little eggnog to get me through the holidays at times, I’m sure I’ve got a train set in here somewhere.

An intrigued Axl and Max watch as Santa digs into his toy sack.

Santa: Ah ha, here we go.

He now pulls out a handful of sand and throws it into Craven’s eyes before rushing towards the window.

Evermore: Get his chubby ass!

The scene switches to several minutes later to reveal Craven seated Indian style watching a train go around him repeatedly, getting utter delight out of it. Axl is also seated on the ground talking on his John Madden football phone helmet and chuckling in the process. But wait, their not sitting on the floor, instead it appears to be a bright red throw rug made out of Santa Claus’ suit.

The camera gently turns towards the tree at this point, revealing that the word “Extinction” is written across its surface in blinking Christmas lights. A seasonal tune plays in the background indicating by the heavy use of bells before we’re taken live to the inside of the Manhattan Center.

EXTINCTION

Fireworks erupt from the stage, the turnbuckles, the rafters, almost every inch of the entry way as the fans rejoice over the start of Extinction.

Mark Comeau: It’s that seasonal part of the year….

Susie Moore: But I haven’t started bleeding yet.

Comeau: That’s not what I meant. While kids around the world prepare to open their extravagantly overpriced presents, we’re giving you an early gift in the form of Extinction.

The camera looks upward at the menacing Weapon’s Lair hung high over the ring.

Mark: Tonight seven athletes step foot inside of the Weapon’s Lair, but that isn’t the only present we’re giving out.

Susie: YES! I hope I get a Chewbacca mask.

Comeau: Only if your good, also tonight, the World title on the line, Christian Savior defending against Riggs, and we also are slated to see Pat Evans put his Submission gold up against Hurse. What a night this promises to be.

PAT EVANS © VS. HURSE
IRON SUBMISSION

There is a house in New Orleeeaaannsss
They call the Rissssiiiinngg Sun
It’s been the ruin of plenty a poor boy
And lord I know I’m one….

UHHHHH

The crowd unleashes a mixed reaction as through the curtains steps a despondent, depressed, but ultimately angered looking Hurse. His intense eyes cut back and forth examining the fans who are booing him, and the others who are cheering him, not knowing who disgusts him more. Despite this perplexing reception Hurse starts timidly towards the ring, fully aware of what he’s in store for tonight. He jumps to the apron and slips through the ropes into the ring, trying his best to limber up for thirty minutes of pure hell.

Comeau: And speaking of which, we’re ready for perhaps the biggest Submission title match ever with Hurse kick starting the pay-per-view.

Susie: This really isn’t putting your best foot forward. Although it doesn’t matter what foot I put forward first because if I’m chewing gum I always trip over it.

Comeau: Yeah, well anyway this feud between Evans and Hurse comes full circle tonight here at Extinction as this issue is settled once and for all in an Iron Submission match. Both men will have thirty minutes to score as many submissions as possible.

Hurse leans uneasily in the corner, his angst exacerbated by the opening cords to “Outsider.” Onto the stage emerges Pat Evans with urgency, his belt shinning over his shoulder. His callous, cold and calculating eyes are locked on Hurse’s unsettled features. His lips twist into a grin, realizing just how much he’s going to enjoy this title match as he progresses towards the ring. The fans bombard the Conspiracy member with boos and heckles yet Evans pays them no mind. He jumps to the apron then slips through the ropes into the ring, immediately throwing his belt to the official.

Comeau: Here is a man who has partaken in some of the most grueling defenses of the Submission title belt to date and tonight should be no different as we finally close the book on this year long rivalry.

Susie: I hope it’s a pop up book because I really hate to read.

Mark: Evans looks eager to get this over with here at Extinction and finally put Hurse in his rearview mirror.

The Submission Championship hangs in jeopardy as the referee raises it symbolically into the air. It shimmers and draws the attention of both challenger and champion, the duo briefly taking their eyes off of one another to observe the item on the line.

The bell finally sounds as Hurse immediately bolts across the ring, spearing the Champion to his ribs and sweeping his legs out from under him. Evans crashes onto his back with Hurse on top, beginning to deliver repeated shots to his forehead in a state of rage.

Comeau: What is this? Hurse is attacking Evans right from the get go, even before the bell could finish sounding. What is with this intensity?

Susie: He’s probably constipated, I get angry when I’m all plugged up too.

The clock appears in the bottom right corner of the screen, indicating that there is still 29 minutes and thirty seconds left in this match but Hurse is not holding back. He unloads on his tormenter before Evans catches one of his arms and pulls up on it.

As a result Hurse is flipped forward and driven into the canvas across his back. It’s at this point that Evans rolls in reverse, landing seat first across Hurse’s chest then beginning to connect with forearm strikes from both sides. Each side of Hurse’s cranium take devastating shots from the distempered Champion, seated on his chest and absolutely unloading.

Hurse lifts his legs into the at this point, tucking them under Evans’ armpits and then pulling him down into a sunset flip style pin. He stands up quickly though and wraps his arms around Pat’s knees, looking to roll him over into the Legend Lock already.

Evans suddenly rolls backwards though, freeing his legs and landing on his knees before lunging forward and grabbing hold of Hurse’s leg. He lifts it into the air and causes the Alpha Gen member to tumble to his back. Evans now attempts to apply the ankle lock to screams from the crowd.

Comeau: Evans immediately going for the ankle lock! These two bitter rivals holding absolutely nothing back.

Susie: It be cool if they were holding something behind their backs, that way I can guess what it is before it magically teleports to the inside of my ear.

A terrified Hurse swings his free leg into Evans’ bicep, then does it again before he breaks up his ankle lock attempt. That’s when Hurse twists his body standing on top of his head and placing his legs around Evans’ neck. He falls forward, connecting with a head scissors that sends Pat flipping over to the canvas.

He lands on his back then rolls to his feet as Hurse comes barreling towards him only to be caught across the chest. Hurse’s eyes widen yet again in terror as the smiling Evans lifts him into the air for the Spinal Tap. Right before he can be dropped across Pat’s raised knee, Hurse squirms like a rattle snake and slips free.

He lands on his back right behind Evans who spins around to receive a boot to the gut. The blow doubles Evans forward as Hurse steps over his neck, calling for the Sanitizer (Styles Clash). Before he can connect Pat steps forward and connects with an inside leg trip then drops elbow first into the side of Hurse’s knee.

Hurse sits up gritting his teeth from the pain as his leg is twisted brutally around the abdomen of Evans. He digs the point of his elbow deeper and deeper into Hurse’s knee before beginning to deliver jabs to it.

Moore: I don’t think that’s the way you massage a leg Oscar.

Comeau: His name is Evans.

Susie: You mean he’s not that green fuzzy guy who lives in the trashcan on Sesame Street?

Mark: Um, no.

Hurse cries out in pain as more closed fist connect with his knee, inflicting internal damage. The Master of Control lifts his free leg into the air though, connecting with a knee to the back of Pat’s head. The shot is brutal enough to force Evans to break the lock on his leg, sitting up groggily on the canvas.

A flustered Hurse stands up and steps over Evans’ shoulder with quickness. He sits down across the back of Pat’s neck then drops to his side, pulling the Champion down to the canvas across his chest and stomach. Hurse begins to do push ups on the canvas and repeated pelvis thrusts that drive Evans over and over again face first against the canvas.

Susie: This looks like something they did in those movies my parents starred in.

Pat’s face is being bruised against the canvas before Hurse sits up across the back of the laid out Evans’ neck. He starts to deliver forearm strikes to the back of Pat’s skull repeatedly and viciously. Each shot is a little more devastating than the last, almost leaving Evans’ crippled from the pain.

He now stands up and takes Pat around the neck, dragging him up to his feet and putting him in position for the Shellshock. The time ticks away as Hurse begins to drop back only to have Evans spin free, stepping around behind his opposition’s back.

He quickly takes Hurse around the neck, pulling him over backwards into a dragon sleeper. The submission twists Hurse like the cork to a bottom, threatening to rip it off only there will be no sparkling cider pouring out. Hurse desperately tries to free himself, twisting from side to side and swinging his arms to aid in his escape.

To free himself Hurse pushes up with his legs, trying to flip over top of Evans’ shoulder. However, Pat drops to a kneeling base, one knee still raised and employed to drop Hurse neck first across it. The back of Hurse’s head collides with tremendous force against the raised kneecap, leaving him sitting up on the canvas with flickering eyes.

Pat now stands up and delivers a diving European Uppercut to the back of Hurse’s head, inflicting more damage to the targeted neck. A wail of pain emanates from the Master of Control who grabs at his spinal column where the joint connects skull to body.

Comeau: It looks like Evans is slowing this match down and really going to work on a piece of Hurse’s anatomy. He started with the leg but now he’s going right after the neck.

Susie: When is someone going to tap? I hope they’re wearing mime makeup when they do it.

Mark: It’s not that type of tapping.

Susie: You mean their might not even be giant Cats!?! Why am I even watching this then?

Evans steps to a crawling Hurse’s side and delivers a straight elbow drop to the back of his opposition’s neck. As a result Hurse falls to the canvas across his gut with Pat immediately applying a side headlock. Once again he twists at the neck from side to side, really exerting as much pressure as possible on the already damaged neck.

Pat gets up to a knee, his face twisted with joy yet intensity. His tension provides him with more emphasis for the submission, placing more pressure on the hold. Suddenly Hurse shows that he actually does possess a brain by twisting his body, hooking his legs around Pat’s far arm, pulling him down into a crucifix pin.

However, there is no count lodged by the referee as pinfalls do not count. As a result Evans rolls back out of the cover and then dives forward at Hurse’s side. He grabs his arm and then locks his hands in front of Hurse’s chin, placing him in the crossface.

Roars of pain emanate from Hurse, who lifts his hand into the air, already looking ready to tap out. Hurse’s head is pulled back at such an angle that it inflicts tremendous damage to his already targeted neck. The palm raises even higher into the air, some fans telling him to tap, others imploring him not to give the win to Evans.

Hurse’s indecisiveness prompts Evans to lean even further back on the submission until he can hear pops breaking and joints popping. That’s when Hurse begins to pull himself sideways in the direction of the ropes, trying his best to free himself. Evans wrenches back further on the submission than before, sure that he has almost separated the shoulder.

Hurse reaches out with his free hand, desperate to grab the ropes. Miraculously his fingers wrap around the bottom cable, the official demanding that Evans break the hold.

Comeau: Shockingly Hurse showing some actual heart in this match to reach those ropes, of course it uses up one of his three allowable rope breaks.

Susie: I’m glad it was his heart he showed and not any other organs.

The official is in Pat’s face, starting a five count and reaching four before Evans breaks the hold and snatches Hurse by the hair. He pulls him up to his knees then crawls forward into a headbunt right to the Alpha Gen member’s temple. The migraine inducing impact sends Hurse dropping through the ropes onto the apron. He ends up seated with his back to the ropes as Evans stands up and rushes across the ring.

He bounces off of the opposite ropes and then comes charging back in at the seated Hurse, delivering a running knee strike to his upper back. The collision sends Hurse flying off of the apron and crashing into the barricade, the front of his face connecting with the top steel edge.

The impact almost breaks Hurse’s nose as he crashes to the mats, sprawled out across his back. The Submission Champion takes a brief breather before checking the clock, realizing that it’s now reading 23 minutes.

He slips through the ropes with promptness yet realizes he still has plenty of time to continue inflicting punishment on Hurse. That’s exactly what he does, as he drags Hurse to his feet then pulls him towards a chair set up in the corner of the barricades. That’s where he chops Hurse hard to the sternum, sending him tumbling seat first into the chair in a groggy state.

Evans now steps backwards to the midway portion of the mats, slapping his knee repeatedly. The crowd builds in anticipation as Evans rushes across the mats and delivers a face wash that drives the side of Hurse’s skull forcefully against the steel plate of the barricade.

Mark: Face Wash from Evans right against that barricade. This man is just toying around with Hurse at this point.

Susie: I’d play with something else, like my old hair, I keep it in a shoe box.

An incredibly groggy Hurse remains seated in his chair despite wavering from side to side, almost tumbling to the mats. Pat won’t let that happen, instead he takes his opponent around the neck, placing him in another side headlock. He stands Hurse up then rushes across the mats still holding the challenger in the headlock.

He keeps him in this position just long enough to drive the top of Hurse’s head like he were a battering ram directly into the exposed steel turnbuckle post. His skull may be cracked as Hurse falls to the mats, spread across them motionlessly.

Comeau: Dear God, now Evans driving Hurse into the turnbuckle post. This man has lost it.

Hurse does not move an inch as Evans steps over him, staring down into his eyes with a sense of sick satisfaction. A disturbing grin creeps across his face as he grabs pulls Hurse up slowly then proceeds to roll him into the ring. A large lump has formed on the top of Hurse’s skull, matching the bruises sprouting up on his face.

Evans now slides in and pushes Hurse over onto his chest and stomach, he grabs him by the arm at this point and interlocks his hands around his jaw, applying the crossface yet again.

The pain jars Hurse out of his unconscious state and when he wakes up he wishes he was still out cold because the agony is unbearable. The back of his neck sustained great whiplash due to the face wash and the head first ramming into the post, making the crossface all the more painful.

His eyes widen with disbelief over the sheer agony as Evans continues to wrench back on his neck and stretch out the arm as far as it will go. Finally a despondent Hurse slaps the canvas, tapping out repeatedly.

Evans: 1, Hurse: 0

Comeau: And Hurse has tapped out to the crossface, making him the first man to submit in this contest. At the same time he puts Evans up 1 to nothing in this Iron Submission title bout.

Susie: Yay, it’s one to nothing, hopefully there won’t be an overtime, because I can never hold my bladder long enough.

Hurse continues to tap but Evans isn’t letting go, he’s applying more and more pressure on the submission. The referee is forced to grab Pat’s hands, prying them apart from around Hurse’s jaw. He finally lets go only to stand up and step over Hurse’s back, taking him around the neck and pulling him up into a camel clutch/dragon sleeper combination.

Wails of pain emanate from Hurse as his hands flail around wildly, looking ready to tap out yet again. Evans pulls back with all of his strength, twisting the head and the neck as violently as possible.

The submission hold brings Hurse closer and closer to the brink of tapping out yet again. Somehow he hangs in there though, refusing to fall behind 2 to nothing. His refusal to tap only elicits Evans motivation to apply more pressure on the hold. His smile widens and his intensity escalates.

It’s only a matter of time it’ll seem before Hurse taps out again, but somehow he refuses to let that happen. He begins to drag his body backwards across the ring with Evans still seated across his spine, applying immense pressure on the hold. To the shock of thousands Hurse extends his foot, placing it over the bottom cable.

Comeau: I don’t believe it but Hurse has reached the ropes again, using his second break.

Susie: That’s as astounding as the Power Rangers’ Megazords.

The Submission Champion stands up and spins around, placing Hurse in a front chancery. He immediately drags Hurse to his feet then lifts him into the air, dropping him shins first onto the top rope. As Hurse ricochets off the top cable Evans drops back into the vertical suplex.

The slingshot suplex slams Hurse viciously spine first into the canvas. That’s when Pat slips up behind him and begins to apply the Time to Go to Sleep. However, Hurse puts his hand in the way, blocking the hands of the Champion from interlocking.

He now bridges up to his feet with Evans standing behind him, continuing to try and get the submission locked in. No amount of jostling and twisting will free Hurse from this predicament. That’s when Pat falls back, dropping Hurse right across the top of his head on the canvas.

He flips over onto his knees, looking as if he was just rendered retarded. Untold amounts of brain damage have been inflicted as Hurse wavers on his knees eventually falling over onto his back. The Submission Champion slowly stands up swiping his hand through his hair, and then stepping over his challenger, dropping down knee first into his throat.

He remains there, his knee dug deeply into Hurse’s throat, strangling the life out of him. Hurse gasps for air, swinging his legs and trying to push the knee away so that he can get air back into his lungs. The referee is stooped in front of Evans, starting a five count, threatening to disqualify him.

He reaches four, on the verge of shouting five when Evans breaks the illegal choke. Hurse is now grabbed by the hair, forced to his knees then shoved throat first into the middle rope. His head dangles over the middle cable as Pat places his leg across the back of his neck, sitting on the back of his cranium.

Hurse is now being strangled with the use of the cables, the referee starting another five count.

Comeau: Evans bending every rule in the book in order to inflict punishment on Hurse, who is down two rope breaks and one submission in this grueling title match.

Susie: Why not just throw in the towel now? It’ll speed things up nicely, and that way we can go back to watching Garfield and Friends.

The referee is forced yet again to start another five count, once more reaching four and prompting Evans to break the hold. He now rushes across the ring, bouncing off of the opposite cables and coming back in at the strangled, prone Hurse.

Evans jumps into the air, preparing to splash the back of Hurse’s head with his crotch and as thus drive him further throat first into the ropes. However, Hurse drops out of the way, causing Evans to crotch the middle rope. The Champion cannot even interpret his pain as he grabs his crotch and steps away from the ropes.

He is completely stooped over forward as a dazed, agonizing Hurse rises to his feet. He steps towards Evans at this point and takes him around the neck, rushing at the nearby turnbuckle and stepping up it to hit the Disinfectant (Sliced Bread Number 2).

Pat places his hands to Hurse’s spine at the last second and shoves him forward over the top rope. A screaming Hurse comes crashing down from a great height, crashing down into the outside mats and almost breaking his legs on the impact.

He splats across the mats and rolls towards the time keeper, grabbing their legs in an attempt to stand up. He can’t even begin to rise though as inside of the ring the official is lambasting Evans for his blatant cheating.

Pat tries to slip through the ropes only to have the referee grab him by the shirt, demanding he keep the action in the ring. However, Evans pie faces the official and shoves him down to the canvas. The referee crashes across his back and knocks his head slightly while Pat drops to the outside.

He cracks his knuckles while stepping up behind Hurse, having no idea that his opponent has grabbed hold of the time keeper’s chair. He doesn’t find out about this until it’s too late, Hurse turning and driving the top edge of the chair right into Pat’s knee.

Evans doubles over as Hurse stands in front of him, swinging the chair violently right into the top of the champion’s skull. Pat falls to his back, laid across the mats with flickering eyes.

Mark: Oh God, Hurse waylaying Evans with that chair!!

Susie: Silly Hurse, the chair doesn’t go on your head it goes under your bottom.

Comeau: Thankfully for Hurse the referee is momentarily predisposed.

The official has his back to the action, holding his head due to a migraine. It’s at this point that Hurse has stood up over Pat’s leg, lifting the chair into the air and driving the top edge of it into the champion’s knee. He lifts it into the air and brings it down into the leg yet again. The crowd is screaming as Hurse drives the top edge of the chair over and over again into Pat’s ankle, shin and knee.

Evans writhes in agony as every bone and muscle is destroyed in his leg. The exhausted, aching Hurse opens the chair, sliding it around Pat’s ankle then stepping back and stomping down on the steel. The chair almost cracks Pat’s ankle to pieces, causing him to sit up calling out in agony.

He finally frees his leg from the chair, falling to his side and rolling around grinding his teeth in pain. Evans’ features are twisted from the agony as Hurse takes him around the neck, pulling him over to his knees in a stunner position. Despite the fact that Evans can’t stand, Hurse pulls him along into the sliced bread number 2.

Hurse steps off of the apron and flips backwards, crashing the back of Evans’ skull into the thin mats. Pat looks wiped out from the combination of chair shots at the Disinfectant from the apron.

Mark: What a shocking move from Hurse, taking Pat out with the Disinfectant on the outside of the ring.

Moore: That had to be as painful as listening to Rosanne sing the National Anthem.

Evans wraps his hands around his head as the official regains his senses, beginning a ten count on both men. It’s at this point that Hurse drags Evans up to his feet, Pat unable to put any pressure on his damaged leg, and rolls him into the ring.

Evans ends up stretched across his back, looking spent as Hurse begins to slide in after him. His eyes briefly cut to the clock, realizing that it’s now gotten down to a mere 14 minutes. An eager Hurse rushes at the laid out Evans and takes hold of his legs, lifting the very damaged one up into the air.

He seems intent on applying the Legend Lock. Somehow Evans wedges his feet to Hurse’s ribs and still has the strength to push him off. The Master of Control is knocked to the canvas, sending him rolling across the ring to his feet. He now rushes into the ropes at Pat’s side, springing to the middle cable then moonsaulting over backwards.

Evans is unable to move out of the way as Hurse crashes across his ribs, knocking all of the air out of his lungs. The former World Champion now stands up and grabs the legs. He lifts them into the air urgently trying to pull him over onto his stomach and apply this hold.

That’s when Pat frees his legs though, wrapping them around Hurse’s ankle and pulling him over into a drop toe hold. Hurse crashes to the canvas while Evans now tries to scramble away from his challenger, desperate not to be caught in the Legend Lock and surely be forced to tap out.

He begins to crawl desperately towards the ropes, his leg throbbing with pain. Hurse will not let him go though, diving across the ring and grabbing him by the ankle. He tries to pull him back into the center of the ring only to have Evans grab hold of the bottom rope, desperately clinging to it.

He shouts “no” as Hurse repeatedly tugs on his legs, trying with all his strength to force him to the center of the ring. Pat refuses to be budged but finally his grasp on the cables are broken. He is dragged to the center of the ring and Hurse steps over his back, bending his legs over and almost shattering his spine.

Pat pushes himself up onto his palms, roaring in pain and lifting his hand into the air, immediately tapping out.

Evans: 1, Hurse: 1

The damaged inflicted to the leg was just too much for the champion.

Comeau: Evans tapping out to the Legend Lock, meaning this Iron Submission bout is now tied up with twelve minutes remaining.

Moore: Ew, this is getting as climatic as 24, although I never watch it, because Jack Bauer frightens me.

Evans is still tapping out, Hurse refusing to break the hold even at the referee’s behest. He starts a five count on the challenger who finally breaks the hold, staggering forward into the ropes. He leans on them for support with sweat dripping from his already exhausted body.

From the corner of his eye he spots Evans struggling towards his feet, his leg absolutely throbbing with pain. Hurse now steps in and over top of Pat’s skull, placing him in position for the Sanitizer. He starts to lift Evans up into the air only to have Pat stand, flipping his challenger over his head.

Hurse crashes down from a great height into the canvas thanks to the back drop. Pat looks over his shoulder at the aching Hurse who sluggishly turns to his knees, trying his best to stand. That’s when the plotting Evans rushes into the ropes in front of him.

He bounces off of the cables pushing past the pain and staggering towards Hurse for a knee strike to his face. Right before it can connect Hurse catches him around the inbound knee and falls back. Evans tumbles forward to the ring while Hurse rolls backwards and stands up, twisting around while still holding the leg then applying the ankle lock.

Evans pushes himself up onto his elbows, roaring from the ungodly amount of pain coursing through his leg. The official is right in his face, inquiring as to rather or not he wants to tap out. Pat defiantly shouts “no” and pulls himself towards the ropes, looking to utilize his first break.

The Master of Control exerts greater pressure on the hold, twisting and ripping it in every direction possible. Evans pushes himself up onto his palms gasping for air and digging his nails deeply into the canvas. It takes absolutely every ounce of his remaining energy to get closer and closer, inch by agonizing inch towards the ropes but he refuses to give Hurse the satisfaction of a submission.

Finally after all the suffrage and pain Evans reaches out and grabs the bottom rope, prompting the unbiased official to demand Hurse break the hold. The Master of Control flips out after this demand is made, breaking the submission then jumping in the referee’s face.

He wedges his finger to the ref’s striped apparel while sweat cascades down every inch of his exhausted, battered body. After almost twenty minutes of non stop action Hurse is operating on nothing but fumes.

Comeau: Amazingly Evans reached that rope even after the damage done to his ankle by the chair just minutes ago.

Susie: Someone seriously needs to teach people the proper usage of a chair around here.

Pat begins to drag his aching body towards his feet with the use of the cables when Hurse steps up behind him, locking in a reverse waist lock, then desperately trying to drag him over into the German suplex. However, Evans counters with a reverse elbow that lands square to the temple of the Master of Control.

Hurse is staggered by this strike while Evans spins around and limps towards his opponent only to have the Master of Control bend forward and catch him around the back of the legs. Hurse tries to lift up on them and apply the Legend Lock yet again only to have Evans blast him right between the shoulder blades with a series of clubbing blows, trying desperately to fight out of this predicament.

He now grabs Hurse by the ears, forcing his opponent’s head under his seat then taking him around the waist. Evans hoists Hurse up into the air in a crucifix bomb position, preparing to hit the From the Outside In. However, his ankle is in far too much pain, allowing Hurse to squirm free and land on his feet behind his opposition’s back.

Evans spins around and once again finds himself caught in position for the Disinfectant. Hurse charges forward to hit the move only to have Evans free his head and catch his opposition around the neck, applying the Time to Go to Sleep.

Comeau: Evans has got his finishing submission applied!

Moore: If he taps he better have the necessary shoes this time, or at least some fluffy cat ears.

Hurse is flailed from side to side in the hold of Evans, who is regaining his strength as all of his opponent’s energy is drained. Wails of pain try to emit from his lungs yet all air is restrained from his body as the life is choked out of him. He slowly begins to fall to a knee with the crowd standing, wondering rather he will submit yet again.

Although a great deal of damage was inflicted on his neck, Hurse still hangs in there, refusing to tap out to this hold that is taking all of the wind from his sails. All his hope is fading as Pat’s eyes twinkle with demonic delight, realizing he is on the verge of retaining his title with 6 minutes and 27 seconds remaining.

Hurse begins to fall forward with the Champion leaning over his back and exerting as much pressure on the hold as possible. That’s when Hurse reaches through his legs with his free hand, catching the back of Pat’s damaged ankle then lifting up on it.

Evans is forced to break the submission as he tumbles to his back, Hurse standing and grabbing hold of the tattered leg, once again trying to apply the ankle lock.

Comeau: What a miraculous reversal by Hurse right back into the ankle lock! Now Evans may be on the verge of submission.

Susie: Would want of these guys please tap while wearing a bright shimmering sequence shirt?

Pat remains on his back, refusing to be turned over into the ankle lock and surprisingly once again getting his feet up into the challenger’s chest. Hurse is pushed backwards with a swift kick straight into the corner, his spine hitting it hard. Somehow he remains upright though as Evans limps to his feet and staggers towards him, looking for a shoulder block to his ribs.

However, Hurse pulls himself up onto the second rope and then leaps over the inbound Evans, who hits the turnbuckle chest first. Hurse lands gracefully on his feet with his back turned towards his opponent who suddenly steps out of the corner and catches him in the Time to Go to Sleep.

Hurse flails his arm wildly, trying with everything he’s got to escape this precarious submission hold. Pat grits and grinds his teeth as he attempts to block the pain from his ankle and get the hold firmly established. Once again Hurse finds his breaths cut short and his free arm flailing to find the ropes.

They are just outside of his grasp as Evans maintains his submission, determined to earn the submission with precious seconds ticking away on the clock.

It seems that Hurse is mere moments from tapping as his legs begin to cut out from beneath him and his face becomes a very bright shade of blue. Pat’s grip only becomes all that much stronger before Hurse begins to push his way backwards, forcing Evans spine first into the turnbuckle.

Evans slams against the turnbuckle post with great force while Hurse falls to his knees and arm drags the Submission Champion over his back. Pat flips over and crashes to the canvas, rolling across it to his knees as Hurse comes barreling towards him.

Hurse spins around into a roaring elbow that Evans ducks, stepping behind the challenger, hooking his arm and lifting him into the Spinal Tap. Hurse connects with such force across the raised knee that his back is almost completely shattered on impact. A wail of agony emanates from Hurse who falls to the canvas where he immediately begins to convulse.

Evans rolls to his back gripping at his ankle with both hands, as it’s still absolutely killing him.

Comeau: The Spinal Tap connects. Evans is well on his way to earning the victory at this point with just four minutes left.

Susie: But they haven’t even used the spirit fingers yet. Where is all the dancing in this match?

He sits up glaring at Hurse who has rolled towards the ropes, falling against them for support. He dejectedly tries to stand up with the assistance of the cables while reaching for his back which has to be enflamed with pain. That’s when Evans limps up behind him and grabs his arms, locking him in the Time to Go to Sleep.

Mark: The Time to Go to Sleep locked in yet again, and we’re seeing the continuation of Hurse’s losing streak.

Susie: He’s gonna pass out faster than I did when I saw my father’s nipples.

Evans once again wrenches Hurse from side to side, exerting as much pressure on the hold as humanly possible. The clock now reads 3 minutes and 32 seconds left, giving Evans a greater sense of urgency. He applies even greater pressure on the hold when Hurse jumps into the air, wedging his feet to the top rope and pushing himself backwards.

Pat falls onto his back with Hurse coming down on top of him, but Evans rolls to his knees, keeping the submission locked in. Hurse’s free arm begins to dangle at his side, the air being strangled from his exhausted, battered body.

Somehow his hand balls up into a fist and he begins to drag himself upward yet again, getting to his feet in front of the rising champion. Pat puts even more pressure onto the hold as Hurse’s palm opens and he prepares to tap out to Evans’ morbid delight.

He now lifts Hurse from his feet and swings him through the air with the hold established. That’s when the side of Hurse’s body unintentionally connects with the absent minded referee, knocking him with force to the canvas. Screams emanate from the crowd over this unintentional bump that Evans isn’t even aware of.

Now Hurse begins to tap, screaming the words “I Quit” as loud as his body will allow.

Comeau: Hurse has submitted, he’s tapped out to the Time to Go to Sleep!

Susie: I hate this, he’s not even being directed by Rogers and Hammerstein.

Evans relinquishes the hold, tossing Hurse to the canvas and stepping back with his exhausted, weary arms raised in victory. Sweat trickles down his body as he looks towards the rafters in victory only to spot the clock continuing to tick down from the corner of his eye.

He turns with confusion towards the titontron then back towards the official who is still laid out, unable to see Hurse’s submission. An irate Evans limps towards him and begins to nudge the ref repeatedly with his foot, trying to jar him from his slumber.

Mark: Wait, the referee is unconscious, he didn’t see Hurse tap out. This match is still going.

2 minutes remain as Evans angrily pushes the ref with his foot, beginning to wake him up. The referee gets to a crawling base holding his head as Evans spins around to get his hands on Hurse only to find himself caught across the chest and hoisted into the air with the Rock Bottom.

Comeau: WHAT!?!

Susie: I said, I hope we get a bathroom break soon!

The fans come unglued at the sight of Orlando Cruze laying out Pat Evans with the Rock Bottom then hopping to his feet. He backs slowly towards the ropes while glaring at the unconscious Submission Champion, who’s exhausted body may have been shattered by the lethal maneuver of the Icon.

Mark: Orlando Cruze just came out of nowhere and laid Evans out with the Rock Bottom!! This has to be revenge for that war of words on the last Riot!

The crowd is still expressing their utter delight over Orlando’s intervention as he slips through the ropes and stands on the apron. For a moment he savors the sight of the laid out Evans before finally dropping to the ropes and back peddling comically up the ramp. An “Orlando” chant has started as Hurse begins to recover, forcing himself to his knees.

His tired, aching body begins to crawl towards the laid out Evans with a mere minute and a half left in this Iron Submission match. Pat is trying his best to recover from the Rock Bottom, slowly sitting up only to have his arms grabbed from behind and to be placed in the Time to Go to Sleep.

Comeau: Hurse has got Evans in his own submission hold!

Moore: That copycatter!

The crowd stands, wondering rather Evans will tap or not as he roars in pain from his very own hold, getting a taste of his own medicine. Hurse applies as much pressure as his weak upper body will allow on the hold, the referee regaining his senses long enough to inquire as to rather or not Pat wishes to tap.

Evans tries his best to hang in there in spite of the crippling pain coursing all throughout his body. He reaches out with his free arm for the ropes but they are too far away. The clock has now reached thirty seconds, the fans and Hurse getting anxious.

Evans tries his best to hang in there.

Comeau: Time ticking down quickly, we’re at twenty five seconds now, how long can Evans tolerate this hold?

The fans are on their feet in anticipation as they watch the clock, Evans refusing to tap out however. He gets to a knee, trying to fight free as Hurse really puts on the pressure with the Time to Go to Sleep. He exerts as much strength as he has left in his body as Evans tries his best to stand.

Fifteen seconds are left on the clock, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10. The time keeps dwindling as Hurse puts all he’s got into the submission until he’s almost physically breaking Pat’s neck, yet Evans still will not tap out. The crowd is on pins and needles as they chant along.

Fans: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4….

Comeau: Evans is going to do it! He’s gonna hang in there.

Fans: 3, 2…

Suddenly Evans slaps his shoulder unable to take the pain anymore, officially tapping out to his very own hold. The fans lunge out of their seats, expressing their shock as the buzzer sounds a mere second after Pat’s submission. Evans falls to the canvas and Hurse tumbles to his back, shockingly having picked up his first win in almost a year.

Comeau: I’m stunned.

Susie: And I’m Susie.

Mark: Hurse has miraculously pulled it off here to start Extinction, he’s just defeated Pat Evans for the Submission Championship thanks to an assist from the Icon.

The crowd is surprisingly cheering for Hurse’s victory as he remains sprawled out across his back, drenched in sweat and aching from head to toe, completely unaware that he was even victorious. Evans rolls around on the canvas, trying to regain his faculties. The Rock Bottom coupled with the sheer brutality of this title match was just too much for his body to handle in the end.

IT’S A WONDERFUL WORLD

The referee steps towards the ropes and is handed the Submission title by Kailey Worf. He turns around and stumbles towards Hurse, on the verge of handing him the belt when to the shock of many James Exeter slides into the ring, snatching the championship away from the referee.

Comeau: What is this now? James Exeter, who we recently learned is Hurse’s half brother, has just taken the Submission title away from the ref? I wasn’t even aware he was here tonight.

Susie: And I wasn’t aware that the tip of my tongue could touch my forehead.

The fans find themselves stunned by the sight of Exeter in an IWC ring sans Mariachi pants. He doubles over Hurse, grabbing him by his wrist and pulling him up to his seat before patting him on the shoulder. Hurse appears confused by Exeter’s presence and even more stunned as the Submission Championship is placed in his hands.

Hurse: I won?

Exeter nods and further compounds Hurse’s shock before a tentative grin begins to settle over his face. He now pulls the Submission title back towards his chest, embracing it, having no idea how he could have possibly won back possession of the gold he gave to Evans so very long ago.

To make matters all the more perplexing, Robin Brooks now comes marching down the ramp and towards the ring with her arms crossed over her chest. A microphone is clutched in her hand and a pouting expression resides on her face.

Comeau: Now Robin is coming out here, the ring is filling up. Who’s gonna come out here next?

Susie: Barbara Walters?

Hurse remains seated on the canvas, basking in his reflection in the golden title belt while Exeter continues to pat both of his shoulders reassuringly. He doesn’t even notice Brooks entering the ring before she’s standing just over him, mic raised to her now smirking lips.

Robin Brooks: Steven, I hate to take away from your little moment here, but I have another royal announcement that must be made.

The exhausted Hurse blinks awkwardly as the Black Widow stoops towards him.

Robin: Long ago you asked me a question, a very big one at that, but I couldn’t give you an answer until you showed that you’re not a loser. So I waited, and I waited, and I waited some more until you proved yourself worthy of such a majestic, regal lass of my caliber. Tonight you did just that Steven. So I asked your brother to be here on the off chance that we’d have reason to celebrate, and to have a proper witness for what I’m about to say.

Brooks removes the wedding ring from her back pocket and hands it out to a speechless Hurse.

Brooks: My answer is yes, YES I’ll marry you.

The crowd screams and some boo as Hurse’s eyes widen with sheer delight and a smile so wide forms on his face that it could cut his head in half. He takes the ring and eagerly gets to his knees, sliding it onto the outstretched finger of the X-Class Champion.

Robin: Face it Steven, all your dreams just came true, and after the Weapon’s Lair is over, and I’ve dealt with Hellkat, my dreams will come true too.

An overzealous Hurse stands up and plants a wet one right on Robin’s lips, bending her over backwards due to his the sheer passion of the kiss. She runs her hand through his hair and eventually yanks on it to pull him away as they both stand up now Hurse jumping for joy. Exeter stands back clapping for his brother’s surprising good fortune.

Moore: I’m trying so hard not to cry. I hope I’m invited to the wedding, my family never lets me come to theirs.

Comeau: I’m having trouble believing it, but I actually feel kind of good for Hurse.

The Master of Control lifts the bright belt aloft with one hand, and the shinning ringed finger of his fiancée in the other. Tears of joy roll down his cheeks, all of his desires coming to fruition in one night.

Mark: What a stunning start to Extinction. Orlando Cruze may have started Hurse on his downward spiral by taking his World Championship, but now he’s just given Steven’s life meaning again by handing him the Submission title. What an ironic world we live in.

Moore: Yep, there’s far too much iron in people’s diet.

Evans is seething on the outside of the ring as he backs up the ramp, gripping at his neck. He is irate by Hurse’s good fortunes coming at his expense, and now has a murderous rage directed at Orlando Cruze.

NOW ON DVD

RINGSIDE

The show cuts back to a still stunned Mark Comeau and Susie Moore seated behind the announce table.

Mark: I’m still speechless over the way Extinction has commenced this evening. We saw an incredible Iron Submission match with Hurse obtaining the title and Robin’s hand in marriage, and things should get more interesting as Extinction develops.

Susie: That’s right, just wait until I do my shadow puppets show.

Comeau: Actually I was talking about the Weapon’s Lair, where seven, that’s right, SEVEN of the biggest IWC competitors will wage war in order to obtain the number one contendership. And to make it more interesting, we learned on IWC.com this week that the person who wins this Weapon’s Lair will get to pick the date of their title match.

Moore: I just hope it’s not on my birthday, I want nothing to distract me from the pony your buying me.

The camera is aimed upward glaring at the Weapon’s Lair hanging over head yet again, tension really mounting as it relates to the truly demonic steel structure.

SEX & VIOLENCE VS. THE FREAKS

A deep voice sounds over the loudspeakers as the following words appear on the Cartel-Tron...

SEX

&

VIOLENCE

It goes into the IWC edit of "All Nightmare Long" by Metallica as the crowd is buzzing in anticipation of who's about to emerge from the back: none other than the IWC contingent of Fully Loaded, Max Craven and Axl Evermore.

"'Cause we hunt you down without mercy, hunt you down all nightmare long!
Feel us breathe upon your face!
Feel us shift, every move we trace!
Hunt you down without mercy, hunt you down all nightmare long, yeah!
LUCK...RUNS...OUT; You crawl back IN-ah, but your
LUCK RUNS OUT-AH!!"

The crowd goes wild as the Casablanca Casanova and the Big Apple Superstar make their way to the center of the stage. They check their name with the bouncer and he removes the velvet rope, letting them stroll towards the ring.

Kailey Worf: On their way to the ring...from NEW YORK CITY, at a combined weight of 466 pounds, representing Fully Loaded...Max Craven and Axl Evermore...they ARE...SEX...&...VIOLENCE!!

Evermore and Craven pump their fists and generally do guts poses at the center of the stage, riling the roaring crowd up, before determinedly heading down the ramp with a pep in their step. They slide into the ring and Axl looks around with a grin and then pushes himself up as Max rolls into a front headspring, landing on his feet. They head to adjacent corners and climb, throwing their arms out with open palms and open-mouth smiles as the crowd cheers, then they hop down and head to the center. Axl drops to one knee and thrusts his arms out as Max behind him raises his arms in an X, and as Evermore points to himself with his thumbs, pyro explosions go off in time behind them to his three thumb points. As the smoke clears, they take off their team jackets and drape them over their corner while hopping in place and throwing hands into the air while whispering strategy to each other.

Comeau: Well we’ve got to get our minds off of the Weapon’s Lair right now, and concentrate on this tag team encounter that has been over a year in the making.

Moore: It takes a year to make something, what, do these wrestlers work in Santa’s workshop or something?

Mark: No, but from what I understand this will be the final encounter between Max Craven and Aurora Rose, who have just been at each other’s throats for as long as I can remember. Sex & Violence will certainly be put to the test tonight by the Freaks.

Craven and Evermore point out towards their hometown crowd when “Coming Undone” erupts over the PA system, leading into a mixed reaction. Through the curtains initially strolls David Freak who stops on the stage then hooks his arm, slapping his elbow. Aurora now starts out from the back, lifting one arm into a rock gesture then hooking the other one around David’s. The Freaks start towards the ring, ready to get proper revenge on the man who forcefully married them in Craven. Upon reaching the ring David jumps to the apron and parts the cables for Aurora who slips through them and immediately glares at Max, remembering everything he’s put her through.

Comeau: You can just feel the tension between these two teams.

Susie: I feel it in my nipples.

Mark: This issue really escalated in that four way on the last Riot! when Craven forced David to accidentally clothesline Aurora. Boy how this rivalry has developed from a simple, innocuous conversation between Max and Aurora.

The final battle is on the verge of happening as Aurora Rose and Max Craven glare across the ring at each other, smiles present on both their faces. Obviously they have waited for this moment for a long time. To their dismay their parents intervene, Evermore requesting that he start the match for their team with Freak doing the same.

Max and Aurora are equally as unwilling to take them up on their offers. Finally they decide it be best to leave the ring, neither David nor Axl wanting their partners to exhaust themselves in an initial brawl between each other.

David coaches Aurora through the ropes to the corner while Craven has to be physically restrained as he’s guided towards Sex & Violence’s corner.

Comeau: It looks like Axl and David not wanting their partners to exhaust each other, therefore they’re taking over.

Susie: Just like men to think they can control everything. I’m sorry, but you can’t stop my seasonal flow by putting a cork in there, so stop doing it you bastards!

Mark: I’m so sickened I don’t even think I can speak without vomiting.

Evermore and David start out this encounter, circling one another with interlocked eyes. That’s when Aurora slips through the ropes and rushes right past her husband in pursuit of Craven. She dives shoulder first through the ropes right into Craven’s ribs.

Both competitors crash from the apron to the outside mats, rolling around and exchanging blows. They are really brawling it out while inside of the ring Evermore and David are equally as stunned.

Mark: Scratch that!

Susie: I’m trying but you keep your pants zipped up.

Comeau: That’s not what I meant. I mean it doesn’t look like Axl and Freak got their partners under control at all.

An irritated David storms towards the ropes, leaning through them and shouting at Aurora to get a grip. Axl takes advantage of his partner’s uncontrollable anger by grabbing Evermore by the tights, rolling him up into the school boy.

1

David kicks out, quickly getting his shoulder up as Evermore rushes to his feet. He rises to quickly in order to reach out and grab Freak’s arm. He swings around under it and applies a vicious arm lock. The calculating Evermore turns his back to the kneeling Freak, stepping over and straddling the shoulder.

He now leans and pulls back on the arm, almost severing the shoulder joint. Before a submission can be earned Freak drops away from Evermore, forcing him to be pulled over onto his back as he tries to keep hold of the arm. David swings around and scoots forward into the back of Evermore’s thighs, leaning into them for the pin.

1

Axl places his hands to the back of David’s head, pushing down on it and as a result sending Freak flipping forward onto the back of his shoulder. Axl sits up and places his shoulders to the back of Freak’s knees for the pinfall.

1

2

David rolls backwards out of the cover, dropping to his knees when Evermore stands up and catches him around the wrist. He swings under it and steps behind the bicep, once again applying the armlock. On the outside of the ring some spare referees have flooded the ringside area, separating Aurora and Craven from one another. They are parted while arguing and continuing to fling fists.

Comeau: Finally, Craven and Rose pried apart, and they didn’t even have to use the jaws of life.

Susie: Why would they want to use Lindsey Lohan’s mouth?

Mark: Uh, okay.

The fans are upset that the brawling duo have been forced apart and towards their corners, all the while exchanging insults. Their partners continue to put on a dazzling technical exchange as David has finally reached his feet, fighting to free himself.

After some fancy footwork, Freak is able to twist his body into a spin, now facing Axl and jumping into the air to catch him a monkey flip. He falls back and attempts to flip Axl only to have Evermore land on his palms and cartwheel over to his feet.

The crowd is shocked by this dazzling agility as Evermore rushes towards David and grabs him by the wrist, swinging under it and applying the arm lock yet again. Yet again David drops to his side, this time flipping Evermore forward. Axl simply tucks his head and rolls to his feet, spinning around just as Freak charges in with a shoulder block.

Evermore lays on the canvas with David briefly standing over him, wearing a snide smirk and a chip on his shoulder. He takes off into the ropes, bouncing from the cables and coming back in at Evermore who suddenly rolls towards him. That’s when David turns his spine to his laid out opponent and back flips over top of him, landing gracefully on his feet.

Axl rolls to his knees in shock as David steps straight towards him and connects with a front dropkick to his jaw. The vicious impact of the two boots nailing him to the jaw sends Evermore tumbling from his knees straight to his back.

Comeau: Another stunning display of agility.

Susie: Their all so flexible, if only my dildo had the same agility.

Mark: That’s it, I’m vomiting.

David rolls across the canvas towards Aurora who is eager for the tag, all fueled up on anger. Her palm is slapped and she immediately lunges over the ropes, looking to exert her pint up hostility for Craven on his unsuspecting partner. Evermore begins to stand up when Aurora catches him across the forehead with fist after fist. These stiff shots render Axl unable to stand, leaving him in perfect position for the height challenged Aurora.

She delivers a straight step up enzugari to the back of Evermore’s head, knocking him forward to the canvas. The high octane Aurora stands just in time to be taken down with a lariat from an interfering Craven. Max grabs the top rope and begins to stomp down at Aurora with all the strength of his legs.

The referee implores Craven to stop or be disqualified, yet he shews the referee away, unconcerned with the outcome of this contest. Max is so predisposed with inflicting damage on Aurora that he doesn’t even know her husband is now behind him.

He doesn’t find this out until he’s spun around and nailed to the jaw a roaring jab to the jaw. Max staggers backwards into the ropes, falling against them before David rushes forward and nails him with the lariat. Both men are taken over the ropes and sent crashing to the outside mats amongst a roar of applause.

Referee Wright watches all of this with trepidation, knowing things are already spiraling out of control. Aurora, the biggest contributor of this chaos drags herself to her feet only to be grabbed from behind by a waiting Evermore. Axl lifts her up into the air for a back drop only to be thrown forward, throat first onto the top rope.

She bounces off gagging for air when Axl catches her from behind yet again, lifting her up into the air then turning towards the center of the ring as he nails the blue thunder sit-out powerbomb.

He doesn’t even bother to go for the pin, instead he stands, takes Aurora by the legs and rolls her to her stomach, locking in the liontamer.

Comeau: Axl with a vicious series of offensive moves, even employing the ropes before fluently transitioning into the liontamer.

Moore: So does Axl stick his head in the mouths of lions then? Because he might end up like Sigfried if he keeps doing that.

Aurora wedges her elbows to the ring, crying out pain from the liontamer. In spite of her lower back pain she begins to drag herself towards the ropes, pulling an aggressive Evermore along behind her. She has no idea that on the outside of the ring Craven has scooped Freak up into the air and dropped her husband face first into the top of the barricade.

Craven’s skull bounces off of the steel with a resounding thud that sends him collapsing to the thin mats. Max now steps towards the ring and drags himself onto the apron before rushing off of it into a flying leg drop. He connects right across David’s throat, sending him into convulsions.

Inside of the ring the grueling exchange between Evermore and Rose continues as she forces her way towards the ropes. After so much anguish she reaches out and grabs the bottom cable, forcing Evermore to break the hold. He lets go but with an ulterior motive.

Instead of simply breaking the submission he rolls Aurora to her back and drags her away from the canvas before commencing with a disorientating giant swing. Around and around they go both go with Aurora swinging through the air, flailing her arms in the process.

That’s when to the shock of many Craven yet again slides into the ring and lunges forward into a front dropkick to the side of Aurora’s head. In fact she is swung right into the waiting boots that connect with such force they may have fractured her skull.

Comeau: Tag team precision displayed by Sex & Violence.

Moore: I love tag team moves, like when two midgets stand on top of each other’s shoulders to reach the higher stacked items on the shelves at the grocery store.

Wright is all up in Craven’s grill, demanding he exit the ring. A plotting Max vacates the ring then immediately calls out for the tag, his fingers twiddling in anticipation. Evermore steps in and slaps the waiting Craven’s hand, all the while dragging Aurora to her feet.

He immediately buries his shoulder to Aurora’s ribs and lifts her up into a spinebuster position, however, Craven flies from the turnbuckle into a twisting back elbow to her face. Evermore simply allows her to fall to the ring after the impact from his partner’s elbow then steps forward to greet Max.

Both men stand on opposite sides of the laid Aurora, quickly interlocking hands then dropping into a double elbow. Aurora’s sternum takes these shots on both sides, causing her to writhe in pain. Axl now rolls under the ropes to the outside while Craven steps on top of Aurora’s throat, shouting some truly lewd comments into her face.

He then jumps off of her throat and comes down knee first directly into her forehead. Rose squirms around the canvas gripping her cranium with both palms, in sheer agony from the migraine coursing throughout her head.

Craven increases the pounding pressure on her brain by rolling her to her knees and starting in with a serious of forearm shivers. He hits her to both sides of the face with an equal amount of force then spins around into a twisting knife edge chop.

The strike hits her across the side of the face, knocking her to the canvas with tremendous force. He now steps over Aurora and charges into the cables bouncing off before diving forward into a rushing leg drop. Rose grabs at her throat while Max rolls away into the ropes, enjoying the brutality he’s inflicting on his arch rival.

He scoots forward promptly and wedges the top of his head between the shoulders blades of Rose, dragging back on her wrists. The modified surfboard causes crippling pain throughout her body, her face twisting from the anguish.

David pulls himself up with the help of the apron, staring under the ropes at his agonizing wife. He pulls himself up onto the apron and begins to stand with the assistance of the ropes when Evermore comes charging towards him, connecting with a running STO.

As a result Freak’s leg is swept out from beneath him and he’s sent crashing with tremendous force back first against the hard apron.

Moore: LOVELY LADY LUMPS!

Mark: A STO into the apron, perhaps permanently removing Freak from the equation, and leaving his wife helpless.

Freak falls off of the apron to the mats, gripping at his spine in more agony than a viewer of Sex & the City. The fans are shouting for him to get back up despite the pain coursing all throughout his body. Inside of the ring Aurora finds herself in an equal amount of anguish.

She grits her teeth and shakes from side to side, trying to free her arms in desperation, but Max refuses to let her go, much like their long standing issue. Aurora sluggishly gets to a knee, Max wrenching back even further on her arms. That’s when Aurora stands up and lunges into the air, flipping forward into an inverted dropsault.

Her boots nail Max to the sternum as she flips surprisingly straight to her feet. The crowd is dazzled by her sheer agility, but it takes a lot of energy from her body. She leans forward gripping at her damaged back, giving Craven just enough time to hit a leg sweep to the back of Aurora’s ankles.

The stunned Aurora tumbles to her spine while Craven lunges to her side, delivering shot after shot directly to her forehead. He now delivers elbows to her forehead and forearms to her nose, trying to break every bone in her lovely face. He even stands and drops down fist first right into Aurora’s forehead.

As a result of the five knuckles colliding with her skull, Aurora sits up palming her forehead. Max stands up and slaps her to the back of the skull.

Craven: If this ends tonight, then your career ends tonight, understood?

Now a hard kick lands to the back of Rose’s skull, causing her to cry out in pain and roll towards the ropes. Somehow Freak is once again leaning on the apron, calling out for his wife to fight through her anguish. That’s when Craven rushes across the ring, dropping into a baseball slide dropkick to David’s sternum.

The collision sends David reeling backwards into the barrier, hitting them with horrific force spine first. He falls to his knees now doubled over his traumatized ribs and back, unable to stop Craven from going back to work on his wife.

He briefly looks over his shoulder towards the debilitated Freak while placing Aurora in a side headlock.

Craven: Too bad you couldn’t be her knight in shinning armor.

That’s when Rose spins out of the side headlock and places Craven in one of her own. She now rushes forward and lunges into the air towards the ropes Evermore is standing on the opposite side of. Aurora places her feet to Axl’s sternum then pushes herself off, twisting around into the Sinful Desires on Craven.

Max’s face is driven with incredible force into the canvas, causing him to bounce to his knees with rolling eyes.

Comeau: Sinful Desire on Craven, Aurora pulling a trick out of her pocket.

Susie: Are you applying that she’s a hooker? That isn’t politically correct Mark.

Craven lays on his back motionless and prime for a pin but Aurora is in too much physical agony to make a cover. She rests on her side grimacing from the pain of all the moves she’s been hit with thus far. But after several seconds of delay to recover, Aurora pulls herself across Max’s sternum.

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The rest period allows Craven enough time to recuperate and as thus shoot his shoulder from the ring. A despondent Rose rolls to her back, looking towards the heavens in despair that she couldn’t put Max away.

Although her body cannot tolerate much more she stands up and looks towards her corner for the tag only to find it devoid of life. Her heart sinks upon realizing that she can’t tag David in, but her desire to punish Craven is only exacerbated.

She now storms towards the recovering Craven, placing her leg across the back of his neck and dropping down into the famouser. He slams hard into the ring then bounces to his knees, looking absolutely befuddled as Aurora rolls to her feet and connects with a mafia kick to his jaw.

Craven is knocked to his back as Aurora drops into the lateral press.

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Rose throws her shoulder from the ring, kicking out just before the three could be registered. This infuriates Rose enough to drag Max by the hair to his feet. Craven just gets up despite his weak knees when Aurora slaps him to one cheek, then the other. She then spins around into a hard roundhouse kick to the side of Max’s skull.

Somehow he remains upright as Aurora rushes backwards into the ropes only to have Axl reach under the ropes and trip her up. As a result Aurora staggers forward into the shoulders of Craven, who catches her in a fireman’s carry. He then pushes her over into the Michealson Reverse DDT.

He rolls to his back, laying there borderline unconscious. He now begins to roll towards Axl who is standing in their corner, asking for the tag. Craven awakens long time to roll towards him, slapping his palm.

Mark: Max making the tag to Evermore, he’s bringing the somewhat fresh Axl into this beat down on Aurora.

Susie: I thought beat-downs were usually against debtors. Are you trying to say that Aurora’s addicted to gambling now? Why are you running her name through the mud?

Axl now enters the ring and delivers a pendulum elbow drop directly into Aurora’s sternum. Rose sits up crossing her arms over her chest while Axl places her in an abdominal stretch from behind. The seated stretch causes Aurora to cry out in agony, Evermore even going as far as to wrap his hands around her far chin, twisting the head violently.

Aurora calls out in pain but refuses to tap, even at the official’s request. On the outside of the ring David has once again reached his feet, looking up in time to spot Craven standing on the apron.

A recuperated Max rushes across the apron and dives off into a double axehandle only to have David move away from the barrier, nailing a clothesline from hell. Craven is knocked to the mats with David landing beside him, the crowd unleashing a loud pop.

Aurora seems to be feeding on their ovation, her body shimmying as she begins to stand. Axl twists and wrenches her body with the hold though, severally hamstringing her upward ascension. Although he’s inflicting as much punishment as possible Aurora still stands and twists her body.

She spins right into a knee strike to Axl’s ribs, doubling him over forward. She then delivers a flip over swinging neckbeaker, driving Evermore down hard into the canvas.

Comeau: Aurora finally out of the modified surfboard and then delivering a breathtaking neckbreaker.

Moore: None of my breath has been stolen, are you insinuating that Aurora is some kind of banshee? Stop ridiculing her Mark, PLEASE!

Aurora rolls to her side and her eyes finally brighten at the sight of David standing in their corner. Although he’s not fully recovered as of yet, David extends his arm as far as it will go, desperate for the tag. Rose rolls to her elbows, crawling excruciatingly towards the waiting Freak. Her husband is so anxious to get the tag that he’s physically hoping despite his anguish.

Aurora gets closer and closer to his waiting palm only to have Axl catch him by the ankle. Evermore will not allow her to move any further, physically dragging her back to the center of the ring. He now steps forward and grabs Aurora’s arm, lifting it up and attempting to apply a lock.

That’s when Aurora drops into a forward roll, landing on her back. She then rolls in reverse, her shins landing on Evermore’s shoulders then pulling him over with a modified head scissors. Evermore crashes into the ring while Aurora gets to her feet, diving forward into the cover.

David grabs the top rope and pulls himself over, twisting around and landing feet first on the middle rope. He springs off the cable and twists around connecting with a springboard shoulder block on a rising Evermore. Both men come down to the ring while Freak standing and rushing forward at Craven standing up behind the ropes.

He gets to his feet clutching hold of the top cable when Freak pulls upward on the rope, sending Craven flying over it. That’s when he’s caught around the neck and pulled down into the diamond cutter. Craven pretty much stands on top of his face before bouncing from the ring and dropping to his back.

Exhaustion has caught up with David who now leans back first against the ropes, trying to recover. However, Axl is already up and storming towards him. He takes both of Axl’s legs and lifts up on them, sending him flying into the air but again shockingly flipping backwards and landing on his feet.

Evermore steps towards him with the intention of dislodging his head from his shoulders with a boot only to have David duck it. He steps around behind Axl and now jumps into the air, catching him with the back stabber. Both knees to the spine almost shatter Evermore’s back, sending him writhing to the ring.

Comeau: David in there like a house on fire!

Susie: Are you trying to say that Aurora is an arsonist? That’s slanderous, slanderous dammit!

Mark: I am not insulting Aurora Rose.

Surprisingly Craven is now upright as Freak labors to his feet then charges right at him. Max attempts a spinning heel kick only to have David duck under it and then spring to the second rope. He flies off and backwards at Craven who jumps in reverse, avoiding Freak as he lands on his feet right in front of the Sex & Violence member.

Max now flips forward and catches David around the arms in the process, pulling him down into a flip over unprettier. Freak is slammed with such force into the ring that sends him flying back up to his feet and then doing a Flair Flop.

An uncharacteristically egotistical Craven stands up and begins to hurl insults at him.

Max: Look at you, first you beat your wife and now you can’t even stand up for her. What kind of man are you?

Craven now spins around when Aurora comes flying off the top of the turnbuckle and landing right on his shoulders, flipping him over into a hurricarana. The crowd erupts at Aurora’s daredevilry as Craven rolls under the ropes to the outside of the ring.

She now rises to her feet with David surprisingly beginning to recover, Evermore doing the same. Axl holds his back and falls against a nearby corner when Aurora comes charging in and jumping high into the air. She lands feet first against Axl’s ribs and drops back into a monkey flip.

Axl flips over and lands right on top of a rising Freak’s shoulders, who then drops into a sit-out powerbomb. He leans shoulders first into the back of Axl’s legs for the three count.

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Evermore gets his shoulder up, just preventing the three count. Aurora could care less if Axl kicked out, as her eyes are locked straight on Max. She storms towards the ropes, grabbing the top one and pulling herself over into a crossbody. At the last second Max steps out of the way, causing Aurora to change up her move and land feet first on the mats instead of hitting them with a splash.

That’s when Craven steps in and superkicks her right to the jaw, knocking Rose with force to the mats.

Comeau: Ohhh, a jaw jacking superkick by Craven completely laying out Rose!

Susie: So now your saying she’s just laying around? Like she’s a hippie?

Mark: ENOUGH!

Aurora remains sprawled across the canvas while Craven hops onto the apron, David immediately storming towards him. However, Craven drops to his seat and slides under the ropes through David’s legs. He bridges up to his feet and turns around to face David who spins around into a hard punch.

The jab sends Craven staggering backwards as David charges in for the clothesline from hell. Max ducks it however, causing David to charge forward right into the waiting boot of Evermore. The blow doubles Freak over as Evermore takes him around the waist then lifts him up into a powerbomb position.

That’s when Max jumps into the air, wedging his feet to Freak’s back and pulling him down into his own back stabber while Evermore connects with the powerbomb. The combination move sends David into convulsions, rolling al around on the canvas.

Max slips through the ropes onto the apron then begs for the tag so he can be the one to put an emphatic end to his rivalry with Rose by virtue of pinning her husband. Evermore doesn’t care for this delay but makes the tag regardless. Craven slips into the ring and now rushes towards David, dropping down into the lateral press.

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David somehow musters the strength to kick out, resulting in a loud reception from the fans. Max gets to his knees and runs his hands through his hair, a bit flustered by his inability to put away the Freaks.

Comeau: A close pinfall there by Craven, who almost put David away. What a frantically paced encounter this has been to put an end to the issues between Max and Aurora.

A tired Craven now grabs David by the hair, rolling him to his knees and then whipping him towards his partner. Freak turns his back towards Evermore, jumping into the air and extending his legs, wrapping them around Axl’s waist. Evermore interlocks his arms around David’s waist now and lifts him up into the air in a wheelbarrow position.

Shockingly David reaches back, catching Axl around the neck and pulling him down into a stunner from the wheelbarrow position.

Axl is shocked to be caught with a variation of his very own move, the impact against the shoulder sending him staggering backwards then spilling through the ropes. Freak stands up spinning to face the crashing Evermore and shouting some disparaging remarks at him.

That’s when Craven steps up behind him, wrapping his arms around David’s waist and rolling him over backwards. Freak ends up pressed on the back of his shoulders with Craven seated on the back of his thighs for the pin.

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Aurora suddenly enters the ring and rushes up behind Craven, catching him around the neck and then lunging into the air. She wedges her feet to the top rope, pressing off and twisting around into yet another Sinful Desire. Craven’s skull drills the canvas viciously, sending him ricocheting back up to his feet.

He stands just in time to be hit with the clothesline from hell from David.

Susie: SWEET AND SOUR!

Mark: The Sinful Desires followed by the clothesline from hell!

Craven twists through the air and tumbles to the ring, David crawling quickly into the cover. Both legs are hooked as Aurora steps back, counting along with the referee’s slap of the canvas.

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A raucous ovation commemorates this moment as Aurora and David have just emerged victorious.

Mark: David and Aurora picking up a HUGE win here tonight to finally lay their issues with Sex & Violence to rest!

Moore: It’s about time, I don’t think I could handle anymore of you running Aurora’s good name through the mud.

David stands just in time for Aurora to jump into his arms, both the Freaks hugging to a loud reception from the crowd. Craven sits up with his back to the ropes, watching all of this and finding himself on the verge of vomiting as Aurora and David now begin to make out. Their lips interlock and they kiss to celebrate this magnificent moment.

Susie: Awww, their kissing. Maybe they’ll let me join them.

Comeau: A feeling of finality here tonight commemorated with a fatal kiss between the Freaks.

They continue to kiss and hug as Evermore stands up on the outside of the ring, holding his chin and shaking his head. Max slowly rises with the aid of the ropes, realizing that it’s finally over, that his issue with Aurora has come to a truly dramatic conclusion here tonight at Extinction.

NO ARMS, NO HASSLE

The camera is zoomed in on an outstretched arm that is black and blue all over. It’s swelled to twice its normal size and an elderly EMT tries to wrap it up in tape. Riggs shows no signs of pain or emotion as he sits on a cot and allows his arm to be wrapped up. A dark malevolence inhabits his eyes and his expressionless features, his mind running over the magnitude of his World Championship match tonight.

EMT: Son….are you sure you want me to tape this up, it really should be braced.

Riggs: I can’t compete in an arm brace.

The wise old man sighs.

EMT: That’s kind of my point.

The callous stare he receives forces the old doc to be quiet for a moment, but he can’t in good conscious stay silent for long.

EMT: I mean with the magnitude of these injuries you shouldn’t…..

Riggs: Shouldn’t what?

The intimidating tone of his voice creates even greater concern for the EMT, who briefly stops taping up the number one contender.

EMT: Well….compete.

Riggs: Hahahaha….

The cruel laughter is the last thing the doctor was expecting.

Riggs: If you knew what I was fighting for you wouldn’t make such silly observations. Now keep taping it up.

EMT: I’m just saying that with this type of bruising…

Riggs: Save your breath old man, your not talking me out of this. I’d go to that ring tonight if I were crippled, even if I were a paraplegic.

EMT: It’s just a title, not worth your career.

Riggs: Your wrong, so, so wrong. This match is about more than any World Title, it’s about more than my issues with Christian Savior, it’s about more than the simple notion of revenge.

The EMT tries to keep up with Riggs’ logic in between securing his arm,.

Riggs: I have to compete tonight, and I have to beat Christian Savior.

EMT: Well son, you don’t have to do anything, especially in this condition.

Riggs: It’s my condition that makes me more motivated to face the Conspiracy. Don’t you get it old man? I’m not fighting for a title, and I’m not fighting for myself. I can take the pain, I have to. I can tolerate the agony on behalf of this entire company. The IWC is who I’m fighting for tonight. I’m fighting to save its legacy, I’m fighting to free this federation from the Conspiracy and their stranglehold on the World Heavyweight title.

EMT: That’s noble but….

Riggs: But nothing.

EMT: What about your career?

Riggs: Fuck it. It’s called sacrifice, nobody got nothing without sacrificing something. That’s what everyone in this federation has forgotten. But I’m going to show guys like Johnny Kingdom or Jason Wheeler what the concept of sacrifice is all about. I’m going out there tonight fully aware that my career may be ended, but I care more about giving this company hope than shaving years off of my profession. Inspiration, hope, that’s what I’m going out there for. So tape my arm and keep your thoughts to yourself.

A deep breath is taken by the EMT who nods before urgently taping up the damaged bicep of the challenger.

AGGRESSION

He’s dead, he’s soooo dead.

Through the backstage corridor storms one Pat Evans, the now former Submission champion. A bag of ice is held to the back of his neck as he moseys down the corridor, trying to keep his emotions in check. However, it becomes increasingly more and more difficult with every step he takes and every second of thought.

Evans: He’s so fucking dead.

The mental image of Orlando Cruze replays again and again in his head, causing Evan’ bottom lip to tremble with rage.

Pat: He has no idea what’s he done.

Suddenly Pat stops, grabs one of the loading crates off a stack at his side and then throws it into the opposite wall where it shatters to pieces. He takes the bag of ice and tosses it all the way down the corridor, choosing to embrace his pain instead of trying to subdue it.

He now stands there seething, trying to regain control of himself as the camera zooms in on his deep, maniacal, plotting eyes. That’s when he digs into his pocket and removes a cellphone, angrily dialing a number. He thrusts it to his ear burning with intensity.

Evans: SAVIOR! Put Ingelson on the phone NOW!

Pat seethes uneasily as he holds the phone firmly to his ear.

Pat: I am CALM! Just put him on.

KAELEN STORM VS. PHANTOM

The show returns to the ring after that heated exchange of words between the tag team champions.

Mark: Some heated, emotional words from Riggs backstage as he prepares for the World title match. Also we’re going to see the Weapon’s Lair match later this evening. Boy oh boy what a contest that is going to be.

Susie: I bet it’ll be as exciting as pong.

Comeau: You find pong exciting?

Moore: When you’ve been dropped on your head as many times as I have you find everything exciting.

As the arena goes dark a soft voice can be heard, behind it is a small palm muted guitar sound.

"Look, listen to my voice

If you're making the choice

Tell all the girls and the boys

Either scream or rejoice

Let's make that noise

Either move or we will all be destroyed"

"MOVE!"

As "Move" by Thousand Foot Krutch comes in at full blast the arena is lit up by fireworks from both sides of the stage, Blue, Red, Yellow, Green, White, and Black lights begin to flash from the gigantic titantron, Below Kaelen walks out onto the stage. The Chorus of the song is hard, but as the softer Verse comes in Kaelen begins to make his way towards the ring, looking out to the crowd a suave smirk crosses his face. He slides under the bottom rope and gets to his feet, going to the far corner he mounts the second turnbuckle, raising his fists in the air the crowd comes to its feet. The camera pans around him and we get a look at the millions of fans who are now psyched for more of IWC's superstars. He jumps down, pacing back and forth, preparing for the battle to come.

Comeau: And now we’re ready for the pay-per-view debut of Kaelen Storm, an athlete who has carried himself very well since coming to the IWC just a few short weeks ago.

Susie: What do you mean carried? Like did he hold books on his head and walk a straight line or something?

Mark: No, I mean he’s held victories over both Aurora Rose and Axl Evermore, who we just saw in the previous encounter. Right now he’s going to have his hands full with the gargantuan Phantom however, so let’s see if his success continues.

Kaelen strolls back and forth eyes locked on the entry way where purple lights appear through dense fog. Some eerie tunes fill the arena as a shadowy mass appears amongst the smoke. The hefty outline of course belongs to that of Phantom, his large menacing frame stepping through the fog and moving straight towards the ring. He shows no hesitation as he takes the top rope and pulls himself up onto the apron, ferocious eyes locked on the unconcerned Kaelen.

Comeau: I’m telling you right now Phantom looks more intense than ever, especially with the threat of disownment by his make believe mommy resting over his head like a gray cloud.

Moore: I love clouds, especially when they look like boobies.

Mark: Naturally.

The bell rings and once again Kaelen steps forward with an extension of his palm, looking to start his match with a sign of respect. Phantom stares down at the palm then back up into his opponent’s face before throwing a big right hand at his forehead.

Storm ducks it, stepping behind Phantom who spins around into a knife edge chop, followed by another one. These stiff strikes knock Phantom backwards as he flails his wide arms. Kaelen now rushes backwards into the ropes, bouncing off and coming back in with a lariat to his opponent’s throat.

Somehow Phantom remains upright, continuing to swing his arms to do so.

Mark: Phantom trying to get a sneaky shot in on Kaelen but this wise young competitor had it scouted and is now just unloading on this giant.

Susie: I think Phantom’s fist is bigger than my whole chest, well, at least I know his palm is after the last time he tried to grope me.

Kaelen looks a bit stunned that Phantom is still up and therefore rushes into the ropes to build more speed for yet another lariat. He bounces off and comes back in at the behemoth who lobs a big boot right at his opponent’s face. Kaelen drops into a baseball slide however, avoiding the boot then rushing to his feet.

Once again he charges backwards into the opposite ropes this time, bouncing off and coming back in at Phantom who surprisingly turns and connects with a mafia style kick right to Storm’s jaw. Kaelen is knocked to the canvas with force across his back, rolling around on the ring and holding his mouth in pain.

Somehow he’s able to stand up with relative quickness only to have his skull engulfed by Phantom’s palms then be given a vicious headbunt. The massive forehead of the frighteningly imposing figure sends Kaelen staggering backwards into the ropes, falling on them for support.

Phantom’s frying pan like palm connects right across Kaelen’s barren sternum, causing the smaller opponent to double over in pain. That’s when Phantom hooks him under the arm and around the neck, throwing him out of the ropes with a hip toss.

Kaelen catches such height though that he’s able to flip forward and land directly on his feet.

Mark: What agility by Storm, flipping out of the hip toss.

Susie: Cool, quick, someone get him a trampoline, I bet he could do some cool stuff on.

Storm balances himself and turns, rushing right at Phantom who suddenly spins around and catches his inbound opponent under his thick arm. Kaelen is unable to stop his larger opponent from lifting him into the air then dropping him via the side slam.

All of the air is knocked out of Storm’s body while Phantom gets to his feet and takes him by the wrist, pointing at the nearby turnbuckle. Jeers are elicited from the crowd as Phantom drags Storm across his back and leaves him resting just under the turnbuckle.

The mountain of a man shockingly starts to scale the corner, reaching the second rope before jumping into the air and trying to crash down on top of Kaelen with a Vader bomb. At the last second Storm rolls towards the turnbuckle though, causing Phantom to slam face and sternum first against the ring.

This collision knocks all the air out of Phantom’s lungs as he bounces up onto his knees, covering his sternum with his tree trunk like arms. Despite that nasty landing Phantom begins to stand up with Kaelen pulling himself to the second rope of the turnbuckle. He sits on the top cable and reaches out, wrapping his arm around Phantom’s neck for a tornado DDT.

However, before Storm can fly out of the corner Phantom pulls his head free and delivers an open hand palm strike right across his opposition’s sternum. The sheer force of the impact knocks Kaelen off of the top rope, sending him crashing to the outside.

Surprisingly he lands feet first on the apron, grabbing the top rope and holding onto it to keep from falling to the outside mats. That’s when Phantom reaches over the ropes, taking Kaelen by the hair and standing him up then taking him around the throat with both palms.

It appears that he’s preparing to throw him over head with a release choke bomb. However, Kaelen is able to knock the arms away, take Phantom around the back of his head and pulls him down throat first into the top rope. Phantom bounces off of the cable and staggers backwards, once more flailing his arms to remain upright.

He stands just long enough for Kaelen to spring to the top rope and take flight with a huge dropkick directly to his sternum. Finally Phantom is knocked from his feet and to the ring, resulting in a loud applause from the fans.

Moore: Wow, my water just fluctuated, either there’s a T-Rex on his way or Phantom finally fell over.

Comeau: Kaelen Storm knocked Phantom off of his feet, putting himself back into this contest.

Storm stands up feeding off the raw emotion of the fans then stepping towards the ropes and slipping through them onto the apron. He holds onto the top cable, hopping up and down in anticipation of Phantom getting up. That’s just what the giant begins to do, starting to get his thick legs beneath him.

He just stands up when Storm springs off of the top rope and comes flying towards him with a crossbody. He lands right on Phantom’s sternum but somehow the monster keeps his feet beneath him, now holding Kaelen in a fall away slam position.

The gruesome goliath throws Storm up into the air only to have Kaelen transition and land on his shoulder. Phantom keeps him from sliding off though, rushing forward for a running powerslam. At the last second Storm swings his body off of Phantom’s shoulder, taking his big opponent around the neck then pulling him down into a modified DDT.

Phantom is planted hard skull first into the ring, causing him to roll onto his back while Storm scrambles into the lateral press.

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Phantom places his hands to Storm’s sternum, shoving him off of the cover and sending him flying through the air. Storm is thrown with such force upward that he lands directly on his feet. He then jumps over Phantom and springs to the second rope, twisting around in mid-air as he comes down with a leg drop across the wide throat of his adversary.

Phantom sits up gasping for air after the landing as Storm steps towards him, beginning to deliver repeated right hands to the top of his head. A desperate Phantom wedges his hands to Kaelen’s stomach though, and shoves him off backwards into the ropes. Kaelen jumps in reverse and lands feet first on the second cable, yet again springing off this time into a front dropkick that connects right with Phantom’s face.

He falls to his back while Storm yet again crawls into the cover.

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Phantom gets his large shoulder off of the canvas this time, turning towards his side. He is taking deep, exasperated breaths while Storm steps in and takes him around the neck, dragging him up to his feet in a side headlock.

Storm rushes forward in order to hit a bulldog only to have Phantom stand and throw Kaelen off of the side headlock and half way across the ring. Storm comes crashing down from a tremendous height back first into the ring. He hits the canvas hard, leaving him sprawled out and prone for Phantom who rushes forward throwing himself into a big splash.

All of Phantom’s weight engulfs Kaelen before the big man hooks his legs.

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Storm kicks out to a loud reception from the crowd.

Mark: That was close. Phantom moments away from earning a pinfall and ending Storm’s undefeated streak.

Susie: That’s as shocking as Mark Walhberg continuing to get acting jobs.

The aching Kaelen turns to his knees, trying to stand up when Phantom headbunts him to the back of the skull, knocking him back down to the canvas. He now drags Storm up to his feet and whips him across the ring into the turnbuckle.

Storm turns and hits the corner hard spine first, causing him to shout in pain and reach for his kidneys. That’s when Phantom charges in ready for a big splash, prepared to fully squash his opponent. Somehow Kaelen lifts his boots into the air, nailing Phantom right under the jaw and causing the behemoth to stagger in reverse.

He shakes off the cobwebs in his skull as Kaelen charges out of the turnbuckle only to be caught against the chest and stomach. Phantom gorilla presses Storm into the air, holding him there for several seconds to perhaps show off to his mommy.

But to his shock Storm slips off of the palms and lands right behind Phantom. The giant spins around into a lariat that Storm ducks then rushes forward into the ropes. Phantom bounces from the cables, coming back in at Kaelen for a big boot when Storm spins around and hits the Dime Out.

The boot connects right against Phantom’s face and sends the big man tumbling to the ring across his back.

Comeau: Storm just caught Phantom with the Dime Out out of nowhere! It’s put away all his opponents before, will it be enough to finish off this giant?

Susie: Yes, I mean, no? Why does there have to be more than one choice?

Storm spins around and falls into the cover, hooking his opponent’s huge leg with all of his strength. The referee makes the count.

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And the crowd finds themselves stunned as Storm has just picked up his third straight victory and did so with relative ease.

Mark: Well that’s that, Storm has done it again, three straight victories. This man and that deadly finisher may be unstoppable.

Susie: Just like Harrison Ford’s popularity.

WAR

Cheers continue to rain down upon the celebrating Storm, who stands with fists raised in victory. The crowd is still stunned by the relative ease in which Storm just bested one of the heftiest competitors in the IWC. After winning his PPV debut Storm starts towards the ropes, slipping through them to the apron. He stands upright with his arm still raised aloft, absorbing the applause from the crowd. That’s when a familiar figure appears on the ramp, a depressed Billy Mayne holding a microphone.

Comeau: After this stunning win it appears our very own Billy Mayne is going to try and get a word with Storm.

Moore: Just a word? Not even a sentence?

Kaelen drops to the outside mats, taking a deep breathe at the sight of the apathetic and unapologetic Mayne stepping towards him.

Billy Mayne: Ladies and gentlemen we just saw something impressive. I’m not sure what but I know I’m obligated to say that.

Storm rolls his eyes as Billy now lurks annoyingly at his side.

Mayne: Kaelen, apparently you’ve won a couple matches and as thus we have to make a big deal about it in order to give you a chip on your shoulder.

Storm: Is there a question in there somewhere?

Billy: Nope, but I’ll ask one now if it’ll make you happy. We’ve seen that you can beat up on a member of the Fat Boys, but what’s next for Kaelen Storm? A trip to Disney Land, what?

For a moment Kaelen contemplates his response, running his palm across his forehead.

Kaelen: Well I think the obvious next step in the evolution of my career is to start seeking title gold, and there’s a plethora of championships to choose from here in the IWC…

Mayne: Okay, that’s cool, let’s skip to something interesting. Care to talk about your involvement in the war?

Storm: The war?

It’s clear that Storm is a bit put off by this abrupt change in questioning.

Billy: Yeah, when you were a little tot…

Kaelen: Sorry, but this is hardly the time nor the place to discuss something like that….

That’s right…..because it’s time for the Porno Lad Challenge BABY!

All eyes abruptly shift to the stage where newcomer Porno Lad now resides, microphone in hand and exuberant smile on his face. Kaelen doesn’t take too kindly to this interruption of his interview time.

Susie: Look, it’s Mr. Magorium and his traveling circus.

A snickering, pompous Porno Lad doesn’t even pay attention to Storm while he’s flanked by the chubby BFG, and the delectable Katelyn.

Porno Lad: Would someone forklift that fat ass out of the ring and kick Mr. Monotone away from the ringside area, because the single greatest match concept in the history of wrestling is about to be unveiled. A match that will totally overshadow the Weapon’s Lair, and your all going to see it RIGHT NOW.

Porno Lad and his entourage commence towards the ring as Kaelen smirks and moves towards the curtains. He passes right by Porno Lad, staring the prankster down as he passes then shaking his head with a continuous grin.

Storm raises an eyebrow as he watches the trio continue towards the ring. After an awkward stare Kaelen rolls his eyes and continues towards the backstage area, letting sleeping dogs lie. Billy begins to walk away as well only to be stopped by BFG, who forcefully holds the terrified former commentator in place.

Porno Lad: Alright Hodgie, bring your unfortunate kiester out here and leave Johnny Quest in the back, because the first stipulation of my ever so brilliant match is that you can’t have anyone at ringside.

Comeau: Something tells me Matt Hodges has his work cut out for him tonight, because I guess we’re ready for the Porno Lad Challenge.

Moore: This should be as fun as digesting paint chips.

PORNO LAD VS. MATT HODGES

WORLD CLASS

These words filter through the PA system as Porno Lad perks up a bit with excitement. Through the curtains and towards the ring saunters Matt Hodges. His tentative eyes examine the ring and those surrounding it, the rich cast of characters introduced in Porno Lad’s promos. Hodges is a bit put off by their presence but walks right past them before hopping to the apron.

Porno Lad: HOLD IT, HOLD IT!

Porno Lad makes a time out motion with his hands, confusing Hodges.

Porno Lad: The second rule of this match prohibits Hodgie from being allowed to jump. You cannot hop in anyway, and if you do your disqualified.

Matt gives Porno Lad a “are you serious” stare.

Mark: Talk about ridiculous. What kind of obscure stipulation is that?

Moore: No hopping? I guess I better put away my pogo stick.

Matt slips through the ropes into the ring, restricting himself from jumping in anyway. Porno Lad now swings his arms, limbering up for this contest as the bell is on the eve of soundings. That’s when Katelyn reaches under the ring grabbing two buckets full of lobsters.

A very befuddled Matt stares to the outside of the ring at the lobsters then back at Porno Lad who rushes forward into a sneak shot. The bell sounds as Hodges is knocked backwards into the ropes, PL jabbing him over and over again to the skull, then throwing in some forearm shivers for good measure.

He now stares to the outside at Katelyn.

Porno Lad: See how easy this is? You don’t need any training at all.

The prankster turns back towards Hodges who dives out of the ropes and swings around the hip of his opponent, catching him with a school boy.

1

2

Katelyn: Whoa, whoa, whoa...stop the count!

The referee is confused as Katelyn has removed a microphone from her back pocket.

Mark: What now?

Susie: Maybe she stubbed her toe, I usually need an audience for that type of thing.

A smiling Katelyn progresses.

Katelyn: Acting on behalf of my dear, sweet, innocent Porno Lad, I’m hereby announcing another stipulation. The only way to win this match is to hit your opponent with a lobster.

Hodges breaks the pinfall with his face twisted by befuddlement and repulsion.

Comeau: You’ve got to be kidding.

Moore: Isn’t this cruelty to animals?

Finally Matt sighs and rolls to the outside of the ring, passing by BFG who is still holding onto a horrified Mayne and reaching into the bucket, grabbing a lobster. Unfortunately one of the lobsters has grabbed hold of him, sinking it’s claws into his hand.

Hodges yelps while swinging his hand, trying to knock the lobsters away. That’s when Porno Lad rushes across the ring behind Matt, diving through them with a dropkick to his upper back. The impact knocks Matt forward a bit as Porno Lad stands and grabs the top rope. He pulls himself over it into a forward flipping senton, crashing down right on top of Hodges’ shoulder.

Both men spill to the outside mats before the Prankster stands, knuckling up with BFG. He then spins around delivering a jab right across Matt’s jaw. Hodges remains in a kneeling position, swaying from side to side before Porno Lad takes him by the bangs, forcing him to his feet and rolling him into the ring.

He now approaches the bucket full of lobsters, grabbing it and sliding it in under the ropes. He slowly begins to slip through the cables himself when Hodges stands and rushes in with a knee strike.

The impact renders Porno Lad almost unconscious and causes him to stand upright on the apron. Hodges then lunges into the air with a dropkick to Porno Lad’s sternum that sends him collapsing to the mats across his back. He hits them hard but promptly rolls to his feet, grabbing the mic from Katelyn.

Porno Lad: YOU CHEATER! You blasted cheater! I should disqualify you right now for that jump, but I’m not going to deprive these fans of a classic Porno Lad match. Instead I’m going to announce another stipulation.

Comeau: Oh joy.

Porno Lad: This is now a handicapped, gauntlet, turmoil match thingy, because you got to go through others to get to me. BFG, stomp his ass!

BFG releases Billy and throws him at Porno Lad, who takes the correspondent by the hair. BFG moves as fast as his ample proportions will allow, stepping up onto the apron when Hodges moves in blasting him to the jaw with right hands. Hodges delivers jab after jab to the big man who suddenly reaches over the ropes, grabbing Matt by the hair and delivering a headbunt to his skull.

Mark: This has just gotten ridiculous. Porno Lad has now made this a gauntlet match.

Susie: I love this, it’s as fun as all that laughing gas my dentist gives me.

BFG steps over the ropes as Hodges rolls across the ring and pulls himself up with the assistance of the turnbuckle. He leans against it for support when BFG comes barreling towards him, engulfing the competitor with the folds of his fat. A stunned Matt remains standing in the corner, his eyes glazed over.

Now BFG approaches the lobster bucket, reaching inside of it and retrieving a crustacean. He lifts it into the air and rushes at Hodges who ducks the inbound lobster, stepping behind BFG. The big man spins around when the lobster is superkicked right back into his face, officially eliminating him from this match.

BFG tumbles to the ring then rolls under the ropes with Matt shouting some four letter words at him. Porno Lad looks bereaved on the outside of the ring before turning towards Katelyn.

Porno Lad: Alright, get in there.

Katelyn: But I can’t wrestle!

Porno Lad: You’ve seen plenty of Stacy Kiebler matches, now get to steppin.

Katelyn suddenly becomes motivated as she rushes at the ring and slips under the ropes. Hodges has no idea she’s entering behind him before Katelyn jumps into the air, trying to hit a facebuster. Unfortunately her hand misses his hair and she ends up crashing onto her bum, completely missing the move.

Matt looks around perplexed by this as Katelyn tries to get up continuing to grip at her rear. She desperately tries to stand as Hodges storms towards her. However, she now stands up with a devastating series of light shots to his chest, repeatedly hitting with the sides of her fists.

The shots have no effect, Hodges continuing to stand in a confused state in front of her, even going as far as to yawn.

Susie: That Katelyn is amazing.

Mark: She botched a fucking bulldog.

Moore: I know, that’s awesome.

Katelyn now steps back and delivers a knife edge chop to Matt’s sternum. Immediately afterwards she unleashes a blood curdling scream and grabs her hand, doubling over it from the pain. Hodges takes a deep breath and steps towards the bucket, carefully extracting another lobster.

Porno Lad: Come on dammit, do some of those flips we practiced on the trampoline!

His words of encouragement fall on deaf ears as Katelyn continues to hold her damaged hand. She spots the inbound Hodges though and goes for a spinning heel kick, keeping one foot planted to the canvas. Or at least she tries to, because as soon as she goes for the move her foot slips off of the canvas and she yet again tumbles to her bum.

She rolls to her knees when Hodges spanks her with the lobster. He actually takes Katelyn across his knee and begins to repeatedly spank her with the crustacean. Screams emanate from Katelyn, who has now been eliminated from this contest.

Comeau: Katelyn eliminated via a spanking by that lobster. I can’t believe I just completed that sentence.

Moore: Some woman have all the luck.

Katelyn rolls to the outside now holding her soar bum as Porno Lad takes an anxious breath at ringside. He now glances at Billy before grabbing him by the belt and rushing him at the ring. Mayne is rolled into the ring under the ropes as Porno Lad shouts at him.

Porno Lad: Show em what you got Billy!

A horrified Mayne stands up, glaring at Porno Lad with his palms extended to his sides, pleading with him to reconsider, insisting he’s just a commentator. PL remains steadfast as Billy turns around to spot an impatient Hodges.

Mark: Now Billy Mayne has been thrown into this match. Who else is Porno Lad going to force into this gauntlet?

Susie: Me, ME, eww, pick me please!

Comeau: We could always hope.

Hodges lifts his leg, going for a superkick when Billy drops to his knees, covering his head with his arms and releasing a high pitched squeal. The yelp causes Matt to hesitate, lowering his leg and immediately becoming overwhelmed with anger.

Hodges: COME ON!

Mayne looks up through the cracks of his arms and then scrambles towards the bucket, reaching inside and grabbing another lobster. He makes sure Hodges and Porno Lad can see as he emphatically hits himself in the forehead with the lobster, eliminating himself from this match.

He falls to his back and rolls under the ropes at this point, dropping down to the mats in front of Porno Lad who is shaking his head. Finally Porno Lad shrugs and then jabs Billy right to the forehead with a hard right hand. The shot knocks Mayne to the mats.

Mark: Well Billy eliminated himself to keep from being hurt but he still ate a right hand from Porno Lad.

Moore: Yeah, and it’s probably high in fiber.

Hodges is now begging and imploring Porno Lad to enter as he raises a finger, asking for one second. He now strolls back and forth in frustration before a light-bulb is clicked in his head and smile inhabits his face. He rubs his palms together and reaches under the ring.

Porno Lad: You got one more person to go through!

An inflatable female sex toy is dragged out from under the ring and slid under the ropes.

Porno Lad: Best her then we’ll talk.

Laughter is heard from the crowd as Matt begins to argue with the referee over the presence of the rubber woman.

Comeau: Not this.

Susie: Yeah, there’s too much male on female violence in this match already.

The referee is powerless to do anything as Matt takes a deep breathe and starts towards the inflatable woman, pulling it up and staring into its face. He now begins to slap it around a little before getting it into position for his tiger suplex. He has no idea that Porno Lad has entered the ring behind him with a lobster gripped in his palm.

The mischievous prankster kneels with the lobster gripped tightly, waiting anxiously for Hodges to turn around. Matt spins around to show his dominance over his rubber opponent. That’s when Porno Lad rushes forward and slams the lobster straight into Hodges’ foread, knocking him to the canvas and eliciting screams from the crowd.

The referee turns and calls for the bell, putting an end to this madness.

Comeau: Thank God this is finally over….

Mark spoke too soon, because Porno Lad has grabbed the ref by the shirt and is shouting something at him.

Porno Lad: Best two out of three falls.

The ref shrugs as Porno Lad turns, hands on his knees waiting for a stunned Hodges to stand up. The lobster he was hit with has comically clamped hold of his nose and is now hanging from his nostrils.

Comeau: Oh no, Porno Lad has now changed this to a best 2 out of 3 falls match.

Susie: Yeah, maybe he’ll still add some clowns.

Matt stands griping in pain from the lobster clawing his nose. The World Class athlete then turns right into the Epic Fail (Spinning Superkick) from Porno Lad. The stiff strike knocks Hodges to the canvas as his opponent falls on top of him, hooking his leg. The official drops and makes the count.

1

2

3

A very loud response is registered from the crowd as Porno Lad hops to his feet acting like he’s just won the Superbowl.

Mark: Porno Lad victorious yet again, finally besting Hodges.

Susie: No clowns? Ohhh.

Porno Lad now hops to a turnbuckle with his arms held aloft, celebrating his victory. All the while his friends remain strewn around ringside, clapping him on despite their injuries. In the middle of his celebration Porno Lad spots a figure on the ramp from the corner of his eye. He turns and spots Kaelen Storm standing on the stage sarcastically clapping his hands.

Comeau: This debacle has finally concluded with a Porno Lad victory, and even Kaelen Storm has taken notice.

Susie: I don’t see how you couldn’t. That was a five star classic.

Porno Lad winks in Kaelen’s direction then inappropriately back flips off of the turnbuckle, landing on his feet in the middle of the ring, where he continues his over the top celebration. Confetti now begins to fall from the rafters alongside some multi-colored balloons.

Susie: Yay, balloons.

Comeau: All he did was won a match over Hodges, why is Porno Lad acting like he just obtained the World Championship?

Porno Lad pretends to have tears in his eyes as the confetti and balloons continue to fall, all symbolic of his grueling (sarcasm) victory. Storm shakes his head while continuing to clap in a slow, unenthusiastic fashion.

NICE TATS

Hellkat: NYAH! I said I was getting ready, now SCRAM.

Max Craven: Alright, alright, just wanted to let make sure you were ready for your match.

These raised voices emanate from within a closed off dressing room belonging to Hellkat.

Hellkat: I’m getting dressed right now, so get before you catch an eye full of my gorgeous feline frame.

Craven: Good luck out there.

The door leading into Hellkat’s dressing room opens and out steps Craven, holding his palm over his eyes to ensure he saw nothing pertaining to the kitty’s nudity. He hurries off down the corridor, allowing the door to slowly close behind his back. However, a palm reaches out and catches the door, extending from behind the camera. The door slowly pushes open and a figure enters with Hellkat currently unaware. She is busy tying up her hair with nothing but a towel wrapped around her frame.

Hellkat: I sure hope this suit isn’t going to chaff.

She grabs a steel glove and begins to slide it over her fist, still unaware that she’s being watched.

Me too.

Hellkat spins around and finds herself disgusted at the sight of the new Submission Champion Hurse leaning shoulder first against a wall. A coy smile is present on his face as his eyes look her up and down.

Hellkat: Why oh why doesn’t the IWC invest in locks for their doors? What do you want? I’m busy here.

She slams the steel glove into her other palm impatiently, yet the smirking Hurse doesn’t budge.

Hurse: Oh, I just thought maybe you needed some company.

He uncomfortable approaches her, his eyes still examining her half naked frame from top to bottom.

Hurse: I mean, you have to be lonely with no one to talk to considering your husband’s current predicament. I just want you to know that I’m here if you ever need to talk, or if you need any other desires satisfied.

The smile on his face widens to utterly creepy levels as Hellkat’s eyebrow arches.

Hellkat: Uh huh…

Hurse: Shh, shhhh, shhh, shhh..

He puts a finger to Hellkat’s lips only to have it slapped away.

Hurse: Think about it Hellkat, when you join the Alpha Generation, I’ll always….I mean, we’ll always be there for you.

Hellkat: Does your new fiancée know about this offer?

Hurse: Relax, she’ll go with it. She knows how invaluable your services are.

Uncomfortably he places his palm right on Hellkat’s bare shoulder.

Hurse: Hmmmmm, I do love these tattoos, so kinky.

Hellkat: Yeah, you might want to leave now before I rip your eyeballs out and add them to my kitty litter.

Hurse slowly removes his palm and backs out of the dressing room, his eyes still observing the barren areas of her flesh not concealed by the towel.

Hurse: You’ll come around Hellkat, they always do. My life is back on the right path, and that path, leads to you.

He discreetly steps into the hallway and slinks away as Hellkat watches him depart. Once he’s waltzed away Hellkat shrugs and just goes back to applying her battle armor for the Weapon’s Lair.

CHRISTIAN SAVIOR VS. RIGGS

The show returns live to the inside of the Manhattan Center with the crowd amped for the upcoming World title encounter.

Comeau: For months we’ve seen the issues between Christian Savior and Riggs building, ever since Riggs turned down the Conspiracy’s offer to join them, and now we find ourselves at the crossroads.

Susie: I loved that movie, because Britney Spears is the best actress ever.

10...

9...

8...

7...

6...

The crowd starts booing as the countdown continues, as it signifies the arrival of a certain superstar. Their jeers quiet as the countdown reaches...

5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

A series of bright fireworks go off as people yell and boo the recognizable countdown.

You think you know me?!

I’m…

As the smoke clears, Christian Savior is seen with his back to the audience, his arms outstretched!

Falling in the black
Slipping through the cracks
Falling to the depths can I ever go back
Dreaming of the way it used to be
Can you hear me

Spinning around, the figure reveals himself to be Christian Savior, wearing his black pants and phoenix-logo shirt, along with a long black trenchcoat. The World title belt is wrapped around his shoulder as he tilts his head, planting a kiss on the title belt. The pompous Dan Douglas saunters onto the stage behind him, clapping and gesturing towards his World Champion.

Falling in the black
Slipping through the cracks
Falling to the depths can I ever go back
Falling inside the black
Falling inside falling inside the black

Savior makes his way down the ring, ignoring what words are being shouted by the audience before he’s clobbered from behind by Riggs. The fans explode at the sight of the number one contender jumping Christian on the stage.

Comeau: WOAH! Riggs attacking Christian before he could even reach the ring. This match is starting, and it’s starting with a bang.

Susie: Yippee. I like bangs, and big explosions and junk.

The World Champion is spun around into a vicious right hand to the jaw, followed by a hard knee to the ribs, doubling him over. Douglas stands back with his jaw hung agape, stunned by this attack. He is shaking his head in disbelief while Riggs chops him brutally across the sternum with his one good arm, the other one hanging limply at his side.

Christian tries to mount some kind of comeback only to have Riggs headbunt him directly to the skull, knocking him down to the ramp and sending him rolling towards the ring. He ends up spread across his back on the outside mats with his precious championship falling beside him.

It’s at this point that Riggs begins to stomp furiously at the Rising Phoenix’s body. Boot after boot connect with Christian’s face and sternum, the number one contender doing everything in his power to debilitate him. He now slides his fingers into Christian’s hair, grasping hold of it long enough to drag the World Champion to his feet and charge him at the steps.

Christian flails his arms and tries his best to prevent being slammed into the steps, but he’s too caught off guard to mount much of a defense. His face is driven with incredible force into the top of the stairs, the collision rendering him almost unconscious.

He stands just long enough for Riggs to step around to the other side of the stairs and charge at them. He steps onto the top of the stairs and launches himself off into a flying shinning wizard right to Christian’s face.

Comeau: What an amazingly acrobatic move from Riggs, already connecting with the shinning wizard on a standing Savior. Christian unable to so much as get his bearings thus far.

Susie: I never knew bears wore rings. That’s AWESOME!

Both men lay on the mats before Riggs stands, overlooking the fans with his demonic eyes. They are rallied in solid support behind him, chanting his name with a fiery intensity. All hopes to take the World Championship off of Savior have been pinned on Rigs here tonight as he steps towards his now kneeling opponent.

Wild left hands are launched repeatedly into Christian’s forehead as he wavers from side to side, trying to remain upright.

That’s when Riggs is blindsided from behind by an overzealous Douglas. The impact knocks Riggs forward and almost off of his feet yet he’s able to balance himself out then turn with those cold, emotionless eyes, gazing into the very soul of a remorseful Douglas.

Susie: I think Dan just made chocolate pudding in his pants.

Mark: What the hell was he thinking? Riggs is going to tear him apart.

Douglas’ lower lip trembles as he threatens Riggs with suspension should he lay a finger on him. That doesn’t stop Riggs from grabbing the lapel of his jacket, dragging Douglas forward so he can smell the fragrant odor of his fiery breath. That’s when Christian rushes up behind Riggs and clobbers him in the back of the head with the World title belt.

The championship cracks against the back of his skull, causing Riggs to double over forward, reaching for his cranium. The conniving Champ drops his belt and places his hands to Riggs’ back, shoving him forward shoulder first right into the exposed steel turnbuckle post.

His injured arm connects with the steel as Riggs turns and falls back first against the barricade.

Comeau: Oh no, that injured arm smacking into that post! You knew it was going to become a focal point for this bastard Savior.

Susie: So he was born out of wedlock? That’s not too bad, my parents didn’t even know each other when they produced me in that airport urinal.

Riggs’ shoulder is exploding with pain that courses through every inch of his anatomy. Despite the anguish he begins to move towards Christian who boots him to the ribs and takes him by the wrist of his bad arm, whipping him towards the steel steps.

Riggs turns and slams against the steps shoulder first, the stairs barely budging but his arm possibly shattering upon impact. The Painted Warrior bites his tongue, keeping from expressing his anguish verbally. All the while Christian is kicking the stairs until the top half falls off.

He now grabs Riggs’ banged up arm, extending it out over the lower portion of the steel stairs. Douglas watches on in pride as Christian grabs the top half of the steps and slams them down right on top of Riggs’ injured arm, sandwiching it between the steel.

Riggs cries out in agony as he falls to his back, grabbing at his bicep where he heard a pop emanate from. He rolls around grinding his teeth and gripping at his arm in the worse pain he’s ever experienced in his life.

Comeau: NOOO! That sick Savior may have completely shattered Riggs arm by sandwiching it between the steps. There’s no way that Riggs can continue at this point.

Moore: Sure there is, he just needs a robotic Luke Skywalker arm.

The swollen arm of the challenger continues shoot shockwaves of pain all throughout his body. Even though the pain is excruciating he starts to force himself to his feet only to have Christian take him by the hair and roll him into the ring under the ropes.

The number one contender rolls to his back while Savior slides in himself and immediately crawls into the cover, hooking both legs. Referee Fitzpatrick calls for the bell, starting the match then drops down and makes the count to squeals from the crowd.

1

2

Riggs kicks out, getting his damaged shoulder from the canvas. However, it’s pulled right back down to the ring and the Conspiracy member jumps high into the air, coming down knee first right into Riggs’ bicep. The Painted Warrior convulses and reaches for his arm while Savior takes him by the wrist. He stands up and whips the arm down to the canvas, slamming it hard against the ring.

Riggs gripes from the pain before Savior extends his leg, dropping it right across the bruised bicep. He now swings around on the canvas to his knees, applying an arm lock on the brutalized bicep. He pushes down on the shoulder and leans back tugging on the arm with all his strength, trying to rip every muscle inside of it.

Comeau: The armlock applied, Riggs may very well tap only a minute into this title match.

Moore: Cool, that way I can go back to watching Tellitubies.

Although he’s in agony Riggs starts to force his way towards his feet. Christian keeps the arm trapped, twisting and ripping it maliciously. He licks his lips with delight throughout every twist and wrench on the bicep, even as Riggs stands all the way up.

He gets to his feet then turns, delivering a jab to Christian’s forehead, followed by another shot. Riggs is desperately trying to free his damaged arm from this submission.

Finally with one more hard jab Christian is forced to relinquish the submission. He staggers backwards as Riggs turns and chops him with great force across the sternum. Savior is almost taken down to the canvas due to the impact but he maintains his balance only to be subjected to another furious chop.

Savior’s sternum is welting as Riggs boots the Rising Phoenix to his ribs and then places him in a front chancery. He’s setting up for the DDT when Christian swings his way out of the predicament. In one fluid motion he takes Riggs’ arm and traps it behind his back in a hammerlock.

Riggs is now bent forward and charged at the turnbuckle, being thrown through the ropes shoulder first into the exposed turnbuckle post. Riggs’ arm collides violently with the post, sending him staggering backwards and twisting his face with pain.

He walks right into a school boy from Savior, the World Champion hoping for a quick win.

1

2

Douglas is forced to stop counting along at ringside because Riggs kicks out, dropping over onto his knees. It’s at this point that Savior stands up in front of him and bends down taking the arm, forcing it behind Riggs back in another hammerlock predicament.

Savior stoops over Riggs’ shoulder to apply the hold from in front of his opponent. The submission sends pain coursing all through Riggs’ body as he finds himself kneeling on the canvas, perhaps on the verge of tapping out. Dan leans on the apron watching what’s transpiring with glee.

Savior can feel his opponent’s strength fading yet the Painted Warrior will not be stopped. He slowly begins to stand up, working his feet beneath his ailing body.

Comeau: I don’t believe this, despite the numerous injuries Riggs’ arm has suffered he’s already trying to get up. This is almost superhuman.

Moore: That would make Riggs a superhero, but he’s not even wearing tight fitting spandex.

The damaged arm is at the point of being fractured yet Riggs continues to stand, Savior still leaning over his shoulder to apply the hammerlock. That’s when Riggs stands up tall, sending Christian flipping over his shoulder into a backdrop. However, Savior slides down Riggs’ back and catches him around the waist, pulling him over into a sunset flip.

1

Riggs rolls over backwards to his feet and launches himself forward into the shinning wizard. Before his shin can connect Christian drops to his back, avoiding the move. Riggs lands on his feet as Savior nips to a standing base behind him and turns around, grabbing his opponent’s injured arm.

A stunned Riggs is placed in a hammerlock as Christian charges him towards the turnbuckle, intent on throwing him shoulder first into the exposed steel yet again.

However, this time Riggs puts the breaks on it and swings around behind Christian, wedging his back to his opponents’. With one arm he performs a backslide, dragging Christian down shoulders first to the canvas.

1

Savior rolls in reverse to his feet with Riggs standing up in front of him, foolishly throwing a right hand with his injured arm. Before the fist can connect Christian lunges into the air, catching hold of the inbound arm and dropping into a divorce court arm breaker.

Riggs’ arm is slammed into the canvas and against Christian’s chest, causing him to convulse in agony. He rolls onto his back holding his arm across his stomach, trying to slap the bicep to get a relief from the pain. Savior stands up at his side and steps in with an elbow drop directly to his bad shoulder.

He slides around on his knees and grabs Riggs’ arm, pulling his opponent to a seated position and hooking the damaged arm behind his neck. Riggs sits on the canvas with his arm behind folded up behind his head and neck, Christian kneeling behind him, really exerting pressure on the submission.

Christian’s crazed eyes cut towards Douglas who is singing his praises.

Mark: Another submission applied on Riggs’ arm. How much longer can he tolerate this type of punishment?

Susie: People have been known to endure extraordinary punishment before Mark, like when I watched all of Steven Segal’s movies in a row.

Comeau: That’s just cruel.

The fans are on their feet, slapping the barricades and stomping their feet, trying their best to rally behind the challenger. They are attempting to do everything in their power to inspire and motivate Riggs as he remains seated on the canvas, his arm being mangled by the Champion.

Christian: Just tap right now Riggs and it’ll all be over.

Riggs shakes his head no, even as the referee implores him to call it quits. Nothing will stop Riggs’ drive to become Champion. Unbelievably he begins to force his way back to his feet, every muscle in his body aching and every inch of his body trembling.

Savior jostles from side to side, wrenching the arm in different directions, but it isn’t enough to keep the challenger down. In a Grench like fashion Riggs’ heart grows three times its normal size as he forces his feet beneath him to a triumphant ovation from the crowd.

That’s when Savior breaks the hold and turns his back to Riggs’ side, lifting up on his opponent’s arm. He drags the bicep down directly into his shoulder, almost shattering it on impact.

Riggs pulls his arm in close to his stomach, doubling over it and turning away from the vicious Champion. Christian now comes charging in, delivering a boot right to the side of Riggs’ skull and sending him spilling through the ropes to the outside mats.

The fans express their despair as Riggs flips over sideways and lands feet first on the mats. He remains doubled over his arm as he falls to his knees, reeling from the shock of the boot to the brain. Douglas steps in front of him shouting discouraging remarks.

Douglas: You could have had it all Riggs, you could have had it all!

Riggs continues to grip at his swollen muscles while Christian slips through the ropes to the apron. He bends down with his hand on his knee, waiting for his challenger to get up. As soon as Riggs gets his wobbly legs beneath him, Christian charges across the apron and dives off into a lariat.

However, he comes down right into a spinning back kick to the ribs. The sound of the boot drilling Savior to the ribs echoes throughout the arena while Riggs jumps to the apron, turning his back to the ropes. He keeps hold of his arm then dives off of the apron towards his stooped forward opponent, connecting with a scissors kick to the back of his head.

Comeau: OH WOW! Scissors kick off the apron by Riggs, who more than makes up for his lack of arms with the use of those deadly legs.

Moore: My legs are deadly too, I can crack walnuts with my thighs.

Savior’s face is driven into the mats with such extreme force that it almost shatters his nose. Luckily he only suffers a nasty head bump before rolling to his back where he lays lifelessly. Riggs forces himself up while continuing to cradle his arm, but it doesn’t stop him from putting his life in mortal jeopardy by lunging to the apron then flipping backwards into a moonsault.

He crashes across Savior’s sternum to a loud reception from an excited crowd. The landing may have done more damage to Riggs’ arm but it doesn’t stop him from using the barricade as a crutch to pull himself to his feet. Douglas is going minstrel just a few feet away. He shouts repeatedly for Christian to get up, pleading with the Champion to stand.

Christian surprisingly begins to stir, lunging forward to his seat and gasping for air, significant damage done to his lungs thanks to that moonsault. As soon as he stands Savior contends with a springing Riggs, who with one arm lands on the barricade feet first. He then dives backwards off the barricade and delivers a reverse heel kick straight to Christian’s jaw.

The very sole of Riggs’ boot lands right beneath the Champion’s jaw, sending him coiling into the apron. Riggs surprisingly lands on his feet and falls into the turnbuckle post, leaning on it for support.

Comeau: Riggs flying all around the ringside area, absolutely unloading on the World Heavyweight Champion.

Moore: He’s just like Kato from the Green Hornet, a show I was never allowed to watch because my parents thought it was too racy.

Mark: At least your parents were conventional.

Susie: Yep, and I could only watch Full House because it was the only channel I could get on the set while my parents were doing porn flicks.

Savior rolls to his feet on sheer adrenaline alone but quickly wishes he had stayed down, as the one armed Riggs catches him with a monkey flip. Christian comes crashing down back first to the mats from a great height, both he and Douglas cringing simultaneously.

His back is enflamed with pain as he sits on the canvas, eyes bulging from their sockets, mouth hung agape. There is almost nothing left of the champion as Riggs rolls into the ring, still providing protection for his cradled arm. The second he stands up in the ring he rushes across it, bouncing off of the far cables.

The crowd is rallied behind him as he comes flipping over the top rope with a one handed plancha, coming down back first right onto a rising, unsuspecting Savior.

The plancha takes both men down to the mats amongst a hailstorm of cheers and applause.

Comeau: IS RIGGS CRAZY!?!

Susie: He’d be just like my uncle, who always dressed like a clown. Really, he never took his costume off, not once, even while showering, or using the restroom.

Douglas almost jumped out of his ten thousand dollar suit at the sight of Riggs sacrificing his body by throwing it into the World Champion. Despite the crippling pain in his arm Riggs rises to his feet, feeding off of his emotion. He takes a struggling Savior by the hair, rushing him to the ring and rolling him in under the ropes.

Christian is completely sprawled out while his challenger slides in, hooking the leg, hoping that all the damage he inflicted on the outside of the ring will win him the title. The crowd chants along with the count.

1

2

To the despair of thousands Christian launches his shoulder from the canvas. A miffed Riggs sits up, slapping the canvas in anger.

Nevertheless he stands up with his back to Christian before jumping and twisting in mid-air. He comes down with a twisting leg drop right across Savior’s throat. The collision causes Savior’s body to nip into the air with Christian’s head still firmly planted to the canvas.

Savior sluggishly rolls to his elbows, gasping yet again for air. That’s when Riggs steps in and takes Christian around the neck, placing him in a front chancery. The World Champion is dragged to his feet, suffering an absolute onslaught from his reinvigorated opponent.

Riggs is once again setting up for the DDT only to have Christian counter yet again, swinging around behind his painted challenger. He tucks his damaged arm behind his back, setting Riggs up for another impact against the turnbuckle. Riggs counters this attempt, bending forward and slipping under Savior’s arm. He stands up behind him catching him around the jaw and connecting with a reverse neckbreaker.

Savior slams into the canvas yet again with Riggs rolling onto him with the lateral press, careful to protect his arm.

1

2

Again Christian kicks out to the dismay of the audience, Riggs immediately sitting up looking outraged.

Comeau: Another counter, what your seeing here ladies and gentlemen is just amazing. Riggs is continuing to hang in their and dominate the champ despite the numerous injuries inflicted on his arm.

Susie: He’s the one armed man in an ass kicking contest. Or wait, what is a one legged man? Don’t they have prosthesis’ for this type of stuff?

Riggs reaches his feet and reaches down for the hair of the Rising Phoenix. He takes hold of it when Christian surprisingly delivers a straight upward kick, his shin connecting with Riggs’ bad shoulder.

The Contender almost collapses due to the blinding pain eradiating from his weakened arm. He turns away from Savior continuing to hold his shoulder while the Rising Phoenix wedges his hands to Riggs’ backside, shoving him forward into the cables.

Riggs bounces off of the ropes and comes back in at a rising Christian, who has bent forward for a spear. Riggs suddenly side steps Savior and delivers a straight knee lift right to his jaw. The strike echoes throughout the arena and causes Christian to stand, flailing his arms to remain upright.

Riggs now rushes backwards into the ropes, bouncing off and coming back in at Savior who suddenly lunges into the air, catching his opponent with the diamond cutter. Riggs rolls to his back, sprawled across the canvas with the air effectively extracted from the fans’ sails.

Comeau: The diamond cutter out of nowhere by Christian, he could very well retain the championship.

Moore: UNBELIEVABLE!! I have gum in my hair.

Every fan clamors around the barricade as Savior crawls into the cover, hooking Riggs’ leg for the three.

1

2

3!

The crowd is crushed until their reaction is drastically altered by a reversal of fortunes, Riggs lobbing his arm from the ring. The World Champion is livid as he sits up, giving the official a look of death.

Despite this brief indiscretion Savior conning eyes snap towards the damaged arm and he pounces upon it with all the rabid tenacity of a corner badger. He grabs the arm, wrenching it upward as he applies a double chickewing. Riggs’ arm and shoulder is being tore to shreds as he wills himself to his knees.

Sweat trickles down his face and melts away his paint as Savior continues to put more and more torque on the hold.

Savior: SAVE YOURSELF, SAVE YOURSELF!

Riggs refuses to tap out despite his horribly battered arm, containing all of its bruised, twisted, and possibly ripped muscles. This move is causing Riggs more pain than child birth yet he refuses to give in, refuses to tap out. Although his mind tells him repeatedly to say the words “I Quit” his body won’t let him give up.

Mark: Is Riggs going to tap!?! Is he going to submit to this double chickenwing?

Susie: No, because the name of the move is too funny. Hehehehe, chickewnwing, CHICKENWING!

Savior continues to implore Riggs to tap but he just won’t allow himself to utter those two words. Even with a possibly broken arm he begins to slide his body backwards in the direction of the ropes. He slithers across his stomach like a snake as he closes in on the cables.

Christian wrenches back and wrenches back on the arms, his features twisting with every bit of rage he has brewing in his body. Riggs cannot help but to call out in pain but still will not utter those two dream ending words. He now extends his leg until the ligaments are almost torn, his toe just falling short of the bottom rope.

Everyone is standing, their eyes bright, and their hearts heavy with the thought of Riggs tapping out. That’s when Riggs’ toe taps the bottom cable and the official jumps all over Christian, demanding he break the hold. Savior’s face goes whiter than a blanket in a snow storm as he rolls to his knees, chest heaving with despair.

Comeau: And Riggs has gotten to the ropes, his chances of being World Champion are still alive.

Susie: This is so dramatic. Where is House with his wonderfully insulting quips?

The stunned fans are hoping like locusts in the crowd as Christian is forced to break the hold and as thus storms to the center of the ring. He bends forward, hands on his knees, eyes locked on the struggling Riggs. It’s obvious that Christian is intent on ending this title match and doing so now.

It looks like it may be a very real possibility as it takes every ounce of Riggs’ remaining energy to begin standing up, his arm continuing to hang limp at his side. Both feet finally plant themselves to the canvas, half the crowd urging him onward, the other half imploring him to stay down.

Riggs stands just in time for Christian to jump into the air for another diamond cutter. Right before Savior can connect, Riggs pulls his head free, seizing his opponent around the neck.

Christian is bridged over backwards into an inverted facelock before he’s lifted into a reverse suplex. The Rising Phoenix lands ribs first on top of Riggs’ shoulder instead, the Challenger setting up for the Hopskotch (Michinoku Driver II).

Riggs is about to connect with the hold, staggering around due to the weight on his bad shoulder when Christian swings his body. He swings right around the back of Riggs’ neck and lands on his feet in front of the painted warrior, pulling him down into a front chancery.

Christian takes the back of Riggs’ pants and lifts him up into the air for the implant DDT. He connects, Riggs’ skull hitting the canvas at great speed. He now rolls onto his back, Savior quickly crawling onto him for the cover.

1

2

Riggs kicks out again resulting in a tremendous outcry of cheers from the Manhattan Center.

Mark: And another big kick out from Riggs!

Moore: Big, it was HUGE! Like Minnie Driver forehead HUGE!

The crowd is right back into this title match as Douglas watches on sweating heavier than a pedophile in a Baby Gap. Savior steps in repeatedly stomping on the back of Riggs skull with vicious shots, intent on inflicting permanent brain damage.

He grabs him by the legs and the wrist, dragging him towards the turnbuckle. He is left sprawled out across the ring as Christian climbs the turnbuckle, his back aimed in Riggs’ direction. Savior now reaches the top rope before flying off and spinning around into a twisting phoenix splash.

Unfortunately he doesn’t splash Riggs and instead slams into the canvas. His entire body is implanted against the canvas, causing him to recoil back to his knees, his arms reaching for his possibly fractured chest. Riggs stands up behind him and rushes forward, catching the back of Christian’s head and pulling him down from his knees into a face buster against the canvas.

Christian ends up sprawled out on his back as a huffing and puffing Riggs begins to stand tall. A very concerned Douglas has grabbed the World title belt off of the mats, trying to slide it into the ring.

Dan: WAKE UP SAVIOR, WAKE UP! HERE!

The belt begins to be slid into the ring when Riggs turns and stomps down at Douglas’ hand, cracking the knuckles on impact. Dan unleashes a blood curdling scream as he turns away from the ring and grabs his hand, stooping over it in pain. Riggs uses this time to grab the World title belt, lifting it into the air and waiting for Christian to stand so he can take his head off.

Comeau: Oh no, don’t get yourself disqualified Riggs, don’t let your hopes end this way!

Moore: Yeah, instead let yourself get pinned, that’s far less demoralizing.

Savior has just gotten to his feet when Riggs swings the title belt. The championship is caught in mid-swing by Fitzpatrick however, the referee struggling with Riggs and ripping the belt out of his arms. Riggs briefly turns to argue with the referee, but this momentary distraction provides Christian with all the time he needs.

He quickly drops down and catches Riggs with a school boy, pulling him down to the canvas across the back of his shoulders. He now lifts his legs into the air, placing them over the middle rope for added leverage. The official discards the title then spins around and makes the count, not spotting Savior’s legs on the rope.

1

2

The harrowing screams of the fans change to those of delight as Riggs kicks out despite Savior’s cheating. He rolls backwards to his knees as Christian stands in front of him, rushing forward for a kick. However, Riggs reaches out, pulling up on the back of Savior’s knees and causing him to crash to his back.

Riggs stands up and flips forward into a jackknife cover. As soon as the official starts to make the count Riggs lifts his feet into the air, placing them to the middle rope.

1

2

3!

The title may have changed hands but no, Savior kicks out from beneath Riggs before the three count could finally be made.

Comeau: Did he win it!?! NO! Riggs almost ending Savior’s title reign.

Moore: That was closer than my pupils when I go cross eyed trying to think.

Riggs spends no time hassling the ref about his count, instead he goes rushing right into the ropes. He bounces off and comes back in at Christian, perhaps going for a running maneuver only to have Savior stand up and side step him, pushing him along into the opposite cables.

The quick Riggs bounces off of the ropes and comes back in at Christian who jumps into the air for the code breaker. However, Riggs pushes him off, causing Savior to slam back first into the ring with great force. He now sits up roaring in pain when Riggs charges in and connects with the shinning wizard.

The fans jump out of their seats at the sight of the move being connected with by the one armed Riggs, who crawls quickly into the cover. There is not one fan seated, every one of them are on their feet rooting for the three count.

Comeau: Riggs has the title won.

1

2

3

The title has changed hands, Riggs has done it, Riggs has done it….no, wait, Savior kicked out yet again. The referee signals it was just a two count causing the exasperated crowd to rip at their hair in shock.

Fans: THAT WAS THREE, THAT WAS THREE, THAT WAS THREE!

Comeau: OUTRAGEOUS! Riggs should be World Champion right now. How did Savior get his shoulder up before that three count?

Moore: He’s a living marionette doll and he’s being pulled by strings?

Riggs is almost livid over the fact that he just failed to put Christian away as the World Champion rolls to his elbows and knees, desperately trying to get up. Riggs takes him by the hair and forces him up to his feet when Christian goes for a reverse mule kick to the testicles.

However, Riggs catches hold of the boot, keeping it from connecting and then pushes down on it. As soon as Savior’s foot hits the canvas he reaches back taking Riggs around the neck, setting up for the diamond cutter. However, Riggs pulls his head free at the last second and turns his back to Christian, pulling him down into a backslide that elicits a major reaction from the crowd.

Comeau: Backslide, BACKSLIDE!

The referee makes the count to screams from the crowd, Savior desperately kicking his feet to escape the pinfall.

1

2

3!

New Champion, new champion, NO! Savior has kicked out, launching his shoulder from the ring right before the third slap of the canvas.

Comeau: Savior kicking out right on the verge of three yet again!

Susie: Why does he keep doing that? It’s getting irritating.

Savior rolls backwards onto his knees then reaches out and takes Riggs around the neck, pulling him up from his knees to a standing base. He’s now setting up for the implant DDT, lifting Riggs up into the air. At the last second Riggs shifts his weight and comes down feet first onto the canvas yet again before swinging his body free from the front chancery.

He takes Christian by the wrist and pulls him forward into his shoulder, beginning to go for the northern lights suplex. However, his arm is in just too much pain, allowing Savior to once again establish a front chancery, going for that implant DDT a second time.

Riggs shoves Christian backwards though with his free arm, causing Savior to step in reverse. He now moves forward for a superkick that Riggs ducks and charges into the ropes, springing to the middle cable. He bounces off it and twists in mid-air, looking for that Tidal Wave kick when Savior plucks him down out of the air with a spear right to the ribs.

Comeau: Ohhhh, Savior caught Riggs with the spear!

Riggs crashes with tremendous force against the ring with Savior kneeling beside him, looking exasperated. He quickly hooks the legs of Riggs though as the official makes the count.

1

2

3

Boos and screams are elicited from the crowd as Savior has just retained his World Championship in perhaps the most hard fought match of his IWC career.

Comeau: I can’t believe it, but Christian Savior has just retained the World title.

Susie: I can’t believe it’s not butter.

The fans continue to unload on Savior as he rolls exhaustedly to his knees, Douglas immediately hopping onto the apron with the World title in hand. He excitedly bounces around before slipping through the ropes and bringing the championship to Savior, dropping it over his shoulder.

Christian can barely stand the weight on his shoulder as he pulls the belt in close to his lips, planting a kiss on the belt he just had to fight so hard to retain. Riggs rolls to his side, his paint melted away from his face and his battered arm gripped tightly. He runs his fingers through his hair at this point, realizing he was so very close to winning the title.

Mark: Riggs mere seconds from winning the belt multiple times tonight bad arm and all. He gave it his all in one of the most phenomenal World title matches I’ve ever witnessed.

Moore: But Mr. Farah Fawcett hair won, and that makes me sad.

Savior leans the side of his sweaty face against the gold plate of his championship as Douglas continues to pat him on the back in celebration. A despondent Riggs grips at his ribs and his arm as he pulls himself up with the use of the ropes, watching the Conspiracy celebrate in anger but realizing he gave it his absolute best regardless of the outcome.

Comeau: This title match may go down in the history books, but a match that will be equally deserving of such notoriety is coming up next.

Susie: Is Abraham Lincoln going to fight Adolf Hitler?

Mark: No, but we’re about to witness the Weapon’s Lair ladies and gentlemen so lets take a look back at this imposing steel structure and the events that led us to this confrontation.

IN THE MIND OF MADNESS

Dan Douglas: It’s the most deranged environment….

The Weapon’s Lair is shown lowering towards the ring with strobe lights going off around it.

Mark Comeau: It’s a match beyond compare….

A blood soaked Hellkat is shown staring through the mesh wiring of a cage wall, a certain insanity inhabiting her eyes.

Susie Moore: I like puppies…..

The legendary Orlando Cruze is depicted being given a death valley driver by Desolation through a table wrapped in barbwire.

Douglas: It’s the Weapon’s Lair.

Comeau: The Weapon’s Lair.

Billy Mayne: The Weapon’s Lair.

Music that heightens the suspense and sets a somewhat demonic tone plays in the background. More chaotic images bombard the screen showcasing a claret drenched Johnny Kingdom being speared by Hurse off the apron and through the door of the Weapon’s Lair.

CHBK is then depicted being thrown from the top of the Weapon’s Lair with a military press through the announce table below.

The scene cuts to a devastated AWOL standing on the very top of the Lair holding up a World title in his palm. The video transfers to a scene showcasing Andre Bates being chokeslammed through every layer of the menacing steel structure.

Mark: Careers have been ended.

Hellkat comes into view being hit with the Rock Bottom onto the mesh.

Comeau: Legends have been made.

Desolation and Hurse are featured being held on the shoulders of the Alpha Generation with the World Championship stretched out between them. It also switches to Orlando standing on top of the lower cell with the title held aloft, blood leaking down his cheeks.

Mark: The Weapon’s Lair….the home of dreams and nightmares.

A celebrating Desolation comes into view before cutting to the mangled face of an exasperated Johnny Kingdom. The tunes suddenly change as the video cuts to a flashback featuring Dan Douglas standing on the stage looking irate.

Douglas: After having a long conversation with my assistant Sallie backstage I realize now that nothing is going to stop you Neanderthals from coming after Christian’s title… So at Extinction seven competitors will step into the bloodiest, most violent, most demented match ever designed to decide the number one contender. I’m talking about the…..

He hesitates and overlooks the fans insidiously.

Douglas:…return of the WEAPON’S LAIR!

The video cuts through close ups on all seven individuals set to wage war in the Weapon’s Lair. Jason Wheeler is featured standing on the stage in a Snake Pliskin costume. Johnny Kingdom is now shown on top of a turnbuckle, overlooking the masses. The gleaming shine of Orlando’s skull comes into view as the Icon moves wears a tentative expression on his face. Robin Brooks’ face dominates the screen as she wears a smarmy grin. The video package now highlights Hellkat standing in a balcony with a mic in hand and a sinister expression. The video stops on the faces of Psycho and Nathan Creed, who are nose to nose with one another.

Mark: Oh God! The Weapon’s Lair returns at Extinction!

All seven faces are once again cut through as the intense music starts to play in the background yet again.

NATHAN CREED

The video is taken over with some of Creed’s most memorable moments against those he’s moments away from facing.

Creed: The pay per view named Extinction is coming around and where is Nathan Creed? In the spotlight. Shining brightly inside a match known as the Weapons Lair.

Nathan is featured wearing a Psycho steel mask and headbunting a referee with it. The scene cuts to him standing over a restrained Orlando, gripping a railroad spike between his fingers. The video then showcases Nathan’s aerial daredevilry as he flies off of a stage hitting a diving headbunt on Psycho and putting him through a table. It switches to him pinning Hellkat as well as nailing a running boot on Robin Brooks’ face.

HELLKAT

The vicious tattooed kitty dominates the video package as she slashes her way through the competition. She is shown throwing Kingdom head first through a Judge’s stand before it switches to her delivering the superkick on the Black Widow.

More images bombard the screen correlating to Hellkat locking Creed in a brutal submission before switching to her and Orlando face to face inside of a previous Weapon’s Lair match. The video progresses into Hellkat holding up a World title belt as she stands on the ropes, the fans chanting her name.

ORLANDO CRUZE

Orlando: All Six of you are stepping into the contraption in which I made my name, and none of you seem aware of what I can do within those steel confines.

Cruze is seen from a multitude of different angles repeatedly hitting the Rock Bottom on people such as Jason Wheeler, Psycho and others. Much like Hellkat we see the Icon holding the gold aloft as he stands on top of the cell. The belt shimmers above his head.

The Icon is now shown bringing a spike towards Kingdom’s face but stopping right before it can connect. The images transfer to the Tag Champion seated on a chair extended across Creed’s throat before transferring to him throwing Brooks over the ropes.

JASON WHEELER

The video now filters into the Black Cat striking various poses for the crowd. The scenes become a little more violent as Wheeler is shown knocking over a ladder with Psycho and Riggs on the top of it, sending them both crashing through ringside tables.

We then see him hitting a standing shooting star press on Christian Savior before lifting the N.H.B Championship high above his skull with both hands.

Wheeler: When you look at me, your looking at a legend.

Jason is shown flipping over the top rope with a senton crashing down on top of Psycho, Riggs, Kingdom and Cruze. He now back flips off of a set of steel steps onto Psycho’s shoulder.

ROBIN BROOKS

The X-Class Champion is the next focal point as she flips through the air with her beautiful shooting star press.

Robin: I may never have been in the Weapon’s Lair, but rest assured I’ll own it, just like I’ll own everyone in it.

The Black Widow hits a stunner on Hellkat before the video transitions into her busting a board right over Johnny Kingdom’s cranium. Robin is seen from numerous different angles once again flipping through the air and connecting with the shooting star press. An image features her swinging the X-Class title belt straight at Wheeler’s face.

The video briefly switches to her standing in the ring with a spotlight shinning down, bringing out all of her radiance.

JOHNNY KINGDOM

Scenes depict the Team Leader with his cocksure attitude standing mono a mono with the Icon. However, Johnny is now showcased taking a sledgehammer to the Spin the Wheel, Make a Deal, shattering it to pieces.

Kingdom: I’ve never won a Weapon’s Lair, but you know the old saying, there’s a first time for everything.

Johnny hits an Exodus Finale on Desolation, driving him head first into the top of a turnbuckle post. We now see him decking it out with Psycho in the middle of the ring before the video transfers to Johnny connecting with the Exodus Finale on Wheeler.

It cuts to him holding up the World Championship several times before switching to him being speared off the apron through the door of the Weapon’s Lair.

PSYCHO

Psycho: We will settle our differences in the match from hell.

The particularly Sadistic Psycho overtakes the screen with all his scarred glory. The video shows him exchanging jabs with Orlando before cutting to him hitting a German suplex on Kingdom.

The madness doesn’t even there as the video features him slamming Wheeler against the steel loading bay doors as well as hitting his rival with the Psychotic Episode. The deranged Psycho is shown planting Creed through a table via the burning hammer.

Comeau: Ladies and gentlemen the end is near….Extinction is upon us….The Weapon’s Lair is HERE.

The Weapon’s Lair lowers towards the ring with images cut in between, showing Robin hitting Hellkat with the stunner, the feline force tossing Kingdom through a judge’s stand, Johnny tripping his rival and causing her to fall forehead first into the title belt. Orlando is now shown giving Psycho the Rock Bottom, and Jason is featured flying over the ropes crashing onto his two biggest adversaries. Nathan takes up the screen flying off the stage with a suicide diving headbunt and Psycho’s bloodied, laughing face is the final image.

WEAPON’S LAIR

Mark: The delay is over, the Weapon’s Lair is happening right now, let the madness be unleashed.

Susie: May your children be born hearty and strong.

The devil’s favorite hangout closes in around the ring, revealing all three lairs of madness. Stagehands busily set up several weapons in the ring, properly setting up a torturous playground of tables, ladders, and other career shortening weapons.

"Dead man lying on the bottom of the grave
Wondering when Savior comes
Is he gonna be saved?"

(The crowd are in a mixed reaction as the lights dim and the stage is slightly illuminated by an eerie blue ominous glow. The 'tron' is filled with stormy clouds.)

"Maybe you're a sinner into your alternate life
Maybe you're a junker maybe you deserve to die"

(Slowly the storm on the 'tron' fades into the cold malice glare from The Sadistic One.)

"They were crying when their sons left
God is wearing black
He's gone so far to find no hope
He's never coming back
They were crying when their sons left
All young men must go
He's come so far to find the truth
He's never going home"

(Psycho slowly steps out from behind the curtain. An emotionless face captivates him as he makes his way down to the ring.)

"Young men standing on the top of their own graves
Wondering when Jesus comes
Are they gonna be saved."

(He reaches the lair, observing every inch of the structure he’s waited so long to enter, a match seemingly tailor made for him. He smiles and steps through the door, rolling in under the ropes and relishing in his presence within the cell.)

Mark: Amazingly this is Psycho’s first time participating in this leviathan of chaos and twisted steel.

Susie: There’s a first time for everything, like maybe I’ll finally end up on Jeopardy and get to kill Alex Trebeck.

Comeau: Let’s not stretch reality too far here. Psycho pretty much has issues with absolutely everyone of his opponents tonight, and the last thing he needs is further motivation to tap into his sadism.

Psycho continues to enjoy the sight of the structure allow him, plotting which ways he’ll use the Lair to his advantage and fulfill his sickening desires. That’s when “You Know My Name” hits the PA system, sending the crowd into a rousing response. Psycho is jarred from his twisted fixation on the cell long enough to lock sights with Orlando as he storms through the curtains onto the stage. He doesn’t even bother to bring the Tag Team title belts with him tonight or even pander to the crowd, his mind is wrapped around the steel that will soon confide him and open his body up to a multitude of deforming injuries. Despite this knowledge Orlando steps through the door, hops to the apron and looks towards the masses who give him a deafening pop.

Susie: It’s the baldest man in the world. Is Orlando in the Guiness Book of World Records yet?

Mark: No, but he is in the history books for being a multiple time World Champion, something he hopes to become again by stepping in the Lair and fighting for that number one contender’s contract. If he wins he can pick any future date to face the Champion.

Orlando enters the ring and sighs as he examines the mesh around him. His eyes finally settle on Psycho, who stares back at him with raw intensity. That’s when the lights drop and strobe lighting explodes on the entry way tying in with Disturbed’s “The Game.” The mood drastically changes in the arena, turning their hatred on Robin Brooks as she emerges from the back. She steps onto the stage with the X-Class title brightly sparkling around her shoulder, drawing her delight despite the derogatory laced screams lobbed in her direction. Brooks ignores them and moves regally towards the Weapon’s Lair. She stops to nervously observe it before taking a breath and entering through the doorway. It’s clear that Brooks doesn’t want to step in the Lair but forces herself to move in.

Mark: Robin Brooks one of the seven competitors set to wage war over that title shot.

Susie: She’s getting married that pale guy isn’t she?

Comeau: I believe so, but this is going to be one hell of engagement party for the Black Widow, especially when her path crosses with Hellkat.

Brooks scrutinizes her opponents in the ring before “Pain Without Love” cuts through the boos and intensifies them drastically. Once again their hatred is aimed at the Conspiracy representative Nathan Creed. He pauses on the stage with tense shoulders. The ever present Krissie McMorris rubs at the bumps on Creed’s back, trying to ease out the tension. He turns with a palm up and a smile on his face before insisting that McMorris leave ringside for her own safety. She smiles and winks before starting to the back. The brainwashed Nathan now moves towards the ring, grabs the cell wall and begins to shake it violently. He smirks before stepping through the doors, and up the turnbuckle, standing on it as he stares up through the mesh wiring to the contract hung above the third cage.

Comeau: Nathan doesn’t know what he’s in for. I can remember that Hell in a Cell match a few years ago when Creed and Hellkat were in this type of environment with one another and absolutely tore each other apart. Of course that match is probably part of the reason he’ll never remember it.

Susie: This should be interesting as the cue cards tell me.

Nathan’s eyes fill with speculation and confusion as he stares at his brother and his former partner, both men who’s identities have been erased from his memory. Their cheers are further exacerbated as….

Open your heart it's gonna be alriiiiiiiii....

SING IT!

Thunder, rain, and lightning
Danger, water rising
Clamour, sirens wailing
It's such a bad sign

Instead of making his usual entrance to the ring Jason Wheeler storms through the curtains and storms straight for the ring. He briefly spins around a few times to take in the sight of his fans, imploring them to get up yet somehow are a tad unsure of how to greet the N.H.B Champion. His belt rests around his waist but he quickly removes it upon reaching ringside, throwing the championship to official Princeton, who is not allowed to enter the Lair. Jason moves right through the curtains and jumps to the apron, storming towards Psycho is also trying to get at the Black Cat. However, Princeton finally enters the Lair and separates them before they could go at it, threatening immediate disqualification.

Comeau: The Black Cat and the Sadistic Savage already wanting to start off wear they left off on the last Riot! I cannot wait to see what happens between these two once that bell rings and the gloves are off.

Moore: I wear gloves all the type, they make me think I’m a robot.

Mark: This may Wheeler’s first Weapon’s Lair but he looks ready for the carnage about to ensue.

Jason and Psycho continue to be held apart as…

WAKE UP

….hits the PA system and results in a loud reception. The fans are sent into a riot at the sight of Johnny Kingdom appearing under spotlight on the stage. His eyes focus on the Weapon’s Lair and he smirks at the prospect of winning his first, victory guaranteed in his mind. He steps right into the structure though, recalling quite fondly the last time he stepped foot in one and the tragedy that resulted. However, he still enters in a carefree fashion, hopping to the apron and glaring at all those already inside, somewhat amused by their presence.

Comeau: The Team Leader looks ready for a war. Knowing Kingdom I’m sure he’s got his victory speech already written, and knows exactly when he’ll challenge for the World title.

Susie: I have a comic book written, it’ll feature my own unique character, Bat-Ma! Bruce Wayne’s twisted yet lovely grandmother, who’s also a caped crusader.

Mark: Yet again I am suicide.

The contract hung high above draws Kingdom’s glare and produces many desires to obtain it. Attention is turned back towards the stage as the final tone of the music box echoes as the charred figure ceases spinning and begins to burn.

Fragment of twilight
Trace of existence
Find the connection
Inside my dream
Heart of illusion
Ancestral wisdom
Mystical fusion, pure energy

Pyros explode on the stage and usher forth Hellkat from the gorilla position. To the shock and laughter of the crowd Hellkat is wrapped from head to toe in mid-evil knight armor. Somehow she’s able to lift her incredibly heavy feet and traverses towards the ring. She labors with each step while the crowd chuckles over her bright, metallic armor, topping her football helmet from the last Weapon’s Lair match. She is fully protected therefore has no trouble stepping into the Lair and moving up the stairs. She has a great deal of trouble entering through the ropes while Kingdom shakes his head, clearly appalled by the sight of her. Robin watches on as well with a raised eyebrow and spite inhabiting her features.

Susie: Oh God, someone opened a time warp. Get a rifle, get something to pierce the barbarians armor.

Comeau: Actually, much to my surprise, Hellkat is wearing mid-evil armor as a form of protection in this sure to be chaotic match. I can safely say I’ve never seen anyone compete in such armor.

All of the disgruntled figures now loom within the confines of the Weapon’s Lair, seven individuals surrounded by the steel. Their eyes look through the roof of the cell towards the contract dangling from the rafters, with the exception of Hellkat, who can’t raise her head given the armor she’s encased in.

The bell now sounds as all seven individuals rush towards each other, the brawl commencing to much fanfare. Johnny Kingdom moves right towards Nathan Creed, delivering repeated right hands to his forehead. Wheeler has bolted in the direction of Psycho, both men exchanging blows in a heated brawl.

At the same time Cruze has moved towards Brooks, who had her eyes locked on the mid evil armored Hellkat, only to be spun around and nailed with the European Uppercut from the Icon.

Comeau: And we’re now underway here ladies and gentlemen, all of these individuals teeing off one another.

Moore: But they’re not playing golf, and none of them are wearing those dorky checkered pants.

The shots being delivered to Psycho’s forehead have sent him staggering backwards into the ropes, his rotund frame leaning on them for support. That’s when Wheeler steps back, stomping his foot then stepping in for a superkick. However, Psycho bends down and catches Wheeler’s posterior across the back of his neck.

He now stands up and back drops Wheeler over the ropes to the outside mats where he lands surprisingly on his feet. Psycho continues to lean on the ropes as Kingdom has booted Nathan to the ribs, taking him by the wrist and whipping him directly at Creed’s brother.

As Nathan comes barging towards him Psycho steps out of the way and pushes him through the ropes. Creed soars into a diving headbunt to Wheeler’s sternum, knocking him backwards into the cage wall while Nathan tumbles to the mats. Screams erupt from the fans at the sight of this last move while Psycho steps up behind Kingdom, locking him in a reverse waist lock.

Kingdom plants his feet, refusing to be taken over as he now begins to deliver back elbows to the monster’s jaw. These shots finally cause the Sadistic Savage to break the hold and stagger backwards. It’s at this time that Orlando has dragged Robin to her feet only to be taken around the neck and pulled down into a jawbreaker from the Black Widow.

A smirking Robin rises when Kingdom steps up behind her, applying his own reverse waistlock. She tries to counter the same way Kingdom did earlier only for Psycho to step up behind them, wrapping his arms around Johnny’s waist. Psycho drops back and German suplexes Kingdom at the same time that Johnny is German suplexing Brooks. Both competitors crash into the canvas across the back of their necks to the shock of the masses.

Comeau: A double German suplex on Brooks and Kingdom!

Susie: Don’t German’s usually wear Lederhosen?

The monstrous behemoth that is Psycho rises to his feet but has no idea that Orlando has pulled himself up into a nearby corner. He doesn’t find this out until Orlando flies out of the corner, twists his body, and connects with a soaring European Uppercutt.

The maneuver almost shatters Psycho’s jaw, knocking him to the canvas. The armored Hellkat during all of this is trying her best to get through the ropes so she can grab a ladder and use it to reach the second level. Unfortunately, she can barely bend forward to slip through the cables.

On the outside of the ring Creed delivers a knife edge chop across Wheeler’s sternum, knocking him backwards with his arms flailing to remain upright. Creed now charges straight at the disorientated N.H.B Champion who side steps the inbound Nathan and pushes him along face first into the mesh cell wall.

His body bounces off of the steel and sends him staggering backwards into a dropkick from Wheeler. The collision sends Creed charging forward face first into the mesh yet again. He bounces off and tumbles to the mats gripping at his forehead in pain.

Inside of the ring Orlando steps towards the laid out Psycho and sticks his legs through his opponent’s, rolling him over into the sharpshooter. Psycho pushes himself up onto his elbows, writhing and roaring in pain. Cruze leans back applying as much pressure as possible on the submission.

However, he is unaware that behind him Brooks has reached her feet, gripping at the back of her neck. She now rushes into the ropes in front of Orlando, springing to the middle cable then twisting around into a buzzsaw kick right to the Icon’s face. The impact knocks Cruze out, breaking the submission as he tumbles to the canvas.

Psycho forces himself up to his elbows and knees at this point while Robin rushes towards him. She steps off of his back and launches herself forward at Hellkat, delivering a dropkick to her armor plated chest. As a result Hellkat staggers backwards into the tunbuckle, falling against it and resting there for support.

The pumped up Black Widow rises to her feet turning in circles and admiring her handiwork only to receive a chorus of boos. She now turns right into a boot to the ribs, doubling her over as the recovered Kingdom takes her by the wrist. He now whips Robin along head first into Hellkat’s armor plated ribs.

Comeau: Kingdom using Hellkat’s armor as a weapon!

Moore: See, everyone’s getting use out of it.

Robin stands up with groggy eyes and staggers backwards into the waiting arms of Kingdom who takes her over with a Russian Leg Sweep. Both competitors crash into the canvas while Johnny rolls backwards to his feet. As soon as he stands he finds himself shocked as Hellkat steps out of the corner and gives him a hard headbunt.

The metal helmet is driven forcefully into Kingdom’s skull, sending him crashing to the ring. Hellkat now places her foot on the laid out Kingdom’s chest and does a Herculean pose in her mid-evil armor. Behind her Orlando steps in and grabs her by the shoulder, spinning Hellkat around into a Rock Bottom position.

The fans start to express their astonishment before Hellkat elbows him to the back of the head with her steel wrapped elbow. These shots disorientate Orlando enough to break up his uranage position and stagger forward to the center of the ring.

Hellkat turns her side to the disorientated former champion then steps up behind him and delivers a headbunt to the back of his skull. The armor almost cracks Cruze’s skull upon impact, knocking him down to the ring. Psycho steps up behind Hellkat before she can realize it, being placed in position for the Psychotic Episode.

Before he can connect with the move Hellkat lifts her foot and stomps down on the toes of the big man. This hard stomp causes Psycho to hop on one foot in pain before Hellkat spins around and headbunts him to the bridge of the nose as well.

Comeau: Hellkat dominating thanks to that armor plated mid-evil knight costume.

Moore: Did I already say how brilliant Hellkat is? If I haven’t, feel free to spank me.

Mark: You don’t have to ask me twice.

The dominating Hellkat overlooks Orlando, Psycho, Brooks and Kingdom all laid out around her before doing a moonwalk across the canvas, rubbing it in. She has no idea however, that Jason Wheeler is climbing up the turnbuckle behind her with a chair in hand.

Due to the change in the fans’ reactions Hellkat finds herself spinning to face the turnbuckle. That’s when Wheeler comes flying off the turnbuckle, sticking the chair under his feet and dropkicking it right into Hellkat’s skull. The collision of steel meeting steel finally knocks the malicious kitty to the canvas.

She lands right on her back, rolling around in an attempt to get back up, but much like a turtle, or a hobo who’s drank his weight in cheap booze, Hellkat is unable to get off of her back. The flustered Hellkat keeps trying to get up as Wheeler stands with the chair still in hand.

He now rushes towards his laid out opponent and jumps into the air, sticking the chair under his leg and dropping it straight across Hellkat’s face. The steel rattles her skull inside of the helmet, causing her to convulse while Jason gets to his feet, chair hanging from his grasp.

The second he reaches his feet he spots Kingdom trying to do the same. Johnny just gets his feet beneath him Jason’s chair is flung at great force right into the Team Leader’s face. The sound of the steel cracking skull reverberates throughout the arena and leaves Johnny standing upright despite having no life in his vacant eyes.

Comeau: Now Wheeler is in there doing some serious damage with that chair.

Susie: What are these guys going to use next? My Barbie doll? They better not, because I spent all day doing her hair.

Jason now approaches the chair, snatching it up off of the canvas while its latest victim, Kingdom is rolling to the outside. As soon as Kingdom lands on his feet a still dazed Creed steps up behind him, spinning Johnny around into a right hand to the jaw.

Neither man is aware that Wheeler is setting up the chair in the center of the ring and now rushing into the ropes. He ricochets from the cables, springs off the chair and lands feet first on the top rope. He then springs off of that and comes crashing down on top of both Johnny and Creed chest first.

Moore: Is this match full of a bunch of acrobats? If it is I demand more elephants, you can’t have a circus without elephants dammit!

Bodies are already strewn everywhere, with the only person currently upright being the Black Widow. Brooks rolls to the outside of the ring and approaches one of the several ladders perched against the cage wall. She grabs hold of it and begins to drag the towering object towards the ring, sliding it in under the ropes.

She has begun getting to the apron when she spots Wheeler sliding back into the ring a few feet removed. He now charges towards her, bending down for a shoulder block to her ribs. However, Brooks sidesteps him and then delivers a knee lift to his face as soon as his head went through the cables.

Jason stands up grabbing his nose when Brooks pulls herself over the top rope and twists in mid-air, catching him around his neck then pulling him down into a DDT right on top of the ladder rungs. Screams and wails emanate from the fans as Jason rolls to his back lying motionless. The X-Class Champion stands up and grabs hold of the ladder, lifting it up into the air and stepping under the trapdoor leading into the second cage.

She starts to erect the ladder, finally getting it set up then beginning to climb the rungs. She looks truly excited and proud of herself, realizing she’s got a clean path to the second tier. Unfortunately this was a preconceived notion, because Psycho making a B-line straight towards her back.

He clobbers her to the kidneys with a forearm strike then begins to step up the ladder behind her. Brooks tries feebly to fight him off, but it’s all for not as Psycho drags her down back first across his shoulders almost in a torture rack position. He drops off the ladder and lands on his seat, hitting a torture rack back breaker on Brooks.

Comeau: AHHH!

Susie: I think she could use the number of a good chiropractor. I know a good one, although I don’t know why he films our sessions.

Robin’s back may be shattered as she rolls around on the ring, writhing in agony. Tears of pain welt in her eyes while Psycho defiantly reaches his feet, his eyes filled with determination. The reoccurring motif of this match continues as another individual tries to strike their opponent from behind.

This time it’s Orlando, who has pulled himself up to the second rope behind his vicious opponent. He launches himself out of the corner, going for a double axehandle only to have Psycho turn around and catch him with a Manhattan Drop.

Orlando jumps back gripping at his testicles and falling against the ropes for support. It’s at this point that Wheeler is regaining his senses and standing up on the apron behind the Icon. The former World Champion comes barreling towards Cruze at this point when Orlando reaches over the ropes, hooking Jason’s arm then hip tossing him over the ropes.

Wheeler flies right at Psycho, crashing into his chest via the hip toss. Instead of the move taking Psycho down he catches Jason around the waist and lifts him up into a powerbomb position.

Orlando has just fallen back first against the turnbuckle when Psycho rushes forward and lobs Wheeler at him in the form of a throwing powerbomb. Jason crashes back first right into the Icon’s ribs, the crowd unleashing some squeals. Neither man has the chance to recover or react before Psycho launches himself at them with a big splash, squashing both men against the corner.

Comeau: Psycho taking out both of his opponents in this frantic Weapon’s Lair encounter, with none of the participants thus far able to reach the second tier.

Susie: They should use their transformer abilities and combine themselves to make a giant, that way they could reach the second lair.

Jason and Orlando tumble to their seats against the corner while Psycho steps backwards into the ladder, climbing it in reverse. He only gets to the mid-point before launching himself off into a cannonball, crashing upside down back first right into his seated opponents in the corner. The fans jump out of their seats in shock over Psycho’s suicidal move.

He leaves both of the victims convulsing as they roll out of the corner, Psycho ending up back on his elbows and knees. Despite his pain he starts to stand up only to have Creed rush up behind him. He then jumps into the air, catching Psycho by the back of the head and dragging him down throat first into the top rope.

Creed lands feet first onto the apron as Psycho is hung up on the top cable, causing the scarred behemoth to stagger back to the ladder. He leans on it for support while Nathan springs to the top rope and flies straight at his brother. At the last second Psycho steps out of the way and Creed lands instead feet first on the ladder with great agility.

Comeau: Nathan’s on the ladder, he could be going for the second tier!

Nathan begins to scale the ladder frantically when Psycho blasts him over the back, cutting off another opponent who was about to reach the second floor. The diabolical big man turns with his back pressed to Creed’s, hooking both of his arms as he sets up for the crucifix bomb.

He rushes forward, about to throw Nathan over the ropes to the outside mats. However, Creed squirms free at the last second, landing on his feet behind Psycho then spinning around. Psycho charges into the ropes bouncing off then coming back in at Nathan who sidesteps his inbound sibling, pushing him along face first into the rungs of the ladder.

The rungs slam viciously against Psycho’s skull, causing him to tumble to the ring. On the outside of the squared circle Kingdom has been dragged to his feet by a slightly recovered Black Widow. She forces Johnny’s face up against the cell wall and begins to grind it back and forth against the mesh. Roars of anguish emit from Johnny as his flesh is ripped by the wiring.

Susie: Cheetara giving Johnny a free face lift.

Mark: Now the mesh coming into play much to Johnny’s chagrin.

The steel continues to rip Johnny’s forehead to shreds while Wheeler and Orlando have assisted one another to their feet also on the outside of the ring. As soon as they stand they begin to tee off on one another with a succession of right hands, exchanging blows.

Inside of the ring there is seemingly no one left to stop Creed, who is steadying the ladder beneath the trapdoor. Once he’s assured its stable Creed begins to climb the ladder, getting closer and closer to the top. With each rung he grabs he finds himself just a little closer to that contract dangling from the rafters.

The fans find themselves terrified as Nathan has grabbed the top rung only to have Hellkat step to the opposite side of the ladder. She used the cables to get force her massive weight to her feet and now grabs the rungs of the ladder. Nathan pleads with her not to do it, but it’s no avail as Hellkat lifts up on the opposite side of the ladder, tipping it over. As a result Creed comes crashing from the top of the ladder, flying over the ropes and tumbling down on top of Wheeler and Cruze.

Mark: There went Nathan’s chance at the contract, but at the very least he took some of his opponents out with him.

Susie: Mecha-Hellkat is so awesome, she just eliminated half of her opponents.

Johnny rests on his knees leaning forehead first against the cell wall, his forehead already lacerated. Blood dribbles down his skull as behind him Brooks has reached under the ring and is sliding out a plank of wood wrapped in barbwire.

Comeau: Things have just gotten much more extreme, because a plank of barbwire has just been introduced.

Susie: I wouldn’t want to shake hands with it, so it shouldn’t bother with introductions.

The conniving Black Widow holds her spine while setting up the barbwire covered plank against the cell wall. At the same time Hellkat has grabbed the ladder and is trying to climb it although her body is incredibly weighed down. She exerts as much energy as her body can muster to get up the first couple of rungs, moving incredibly slow towards the top.

Finally Hellkat gives up and drops back to the canvas, beginning to undo her armor so it doesn’t impede her climbing. Brooks has now approached Kingdom, jabbing him to the forehead over and over again, drawing more blood.

Brooks: Did you think your brainbuster was cute last week? Well do you? Because I’m about to show you what’s cute.

Robin takes Johnny by the wrist and whips him towards the barbwire. At the last second Johnny hits the breaks, keeping from hitting the wooden plank.

He now turns around when a furious Robin comes charging in only to be caught against the Team Leader’s palms. Johnny lifts her up into the air with a military press then flings her at the barbwire. Robin flips upside down and crashes back first into the barbwire, shattering the wood and breaking the cell wall.

A small portion of it is now ripped, leading to the outside of the ring while the crowd is starting a “holy shit” chant. Brooks lays amongst the barbwire which is tearing her skin to shreds. All she can do is scream out in pain while Kingdom leans on the apron, bleed running down his face.

Comeau: The barbwire tearing Robin apart.

The chants from the crowd continue as Orlando has climbed under the ring, grabbing hold of something. To loud wails a table begins to be withdrawn from under the squared circle. Hellkat has now removed the vast majority of her armor but holds onto the steel glove.

She turns to spot Johnny climbing up onto the apron, his bleeding body leaning on the ropes.

Hellkat: I challenge you to a duel.

Hellkat steps in and slaps the steel glove across Johnny’s cheek, knocking him from the apron to the outside mats. She now turns around sliding the glove over her fist as Psycho starts to get up in front of her. She steps in, grabbing him by the hair then closes her metal fist and punches him brutally right to the forehead.

Psycho falls to his knees due to the pain of the brutal right hand as Hellkat begins to drive her fist repeatedly into his skull, over and over again until blood has been drawn. The final shot sends Psycho crumbling to the canvas across his back while Hellkat approaches the ladder, beginning to scale it with her steel glove still attached to her body.

She begins to get closer to the trapdoor, but unbeknownst to her Orlando has slid into the ring, giving up on the table. Instead he approaches the chair that has come so in handy for Wheeler, snatching it off of the canvas then slamming it hard into Hellkat’s back.

Her teeth grit against each other due to the impact while the Icon sets the chair up in a seated position. He now climbs up the ladder towards Hellkat’s back side. She tries to stomp down at his bald skull but Orlando will not be deterred as he catches her ankle. He continues to scale now and finds his shoulder pressed to Hellkat’s spine.

She attempts to elbow him but it’s no avail as Orlando pulls her down off of the ladder with a back drop suplex right on top of the set up chair. The steel shatters beneath Hellkat’s body, the chair smashing to pieces amongst screams of disbelief from the crowd.

Fans: HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT!

Susie: GRAAHH! She should have never taken off the armor!

Mark: Cruze planting Hellkat straight through the chair with a back drop from almost the top of the ladder. Her back has to be as shattered as her hopes of obtaining that number one contendership.

Moore: Put back on your protective Power Rangers costume already Hellkat.

Hellkat rolls around on top of the flattened chair, her back possibly broken by that maneuver. Orlando is back to his knees holding his shoulder and trying to block the pain. Outside of the squared circle Creed has begun to pick up the table despite his overwhelming agony due to that collapse from the top of the ladder.

He tries to lift it up and slide it into the ring only for Wheeler to blast him from behind with a forearm. He spins Creed around into a knee to the ribs then takes him by the wrist, whipping him across the mats straight face first into the mesh wiring wall.

Creed bounces off of the cell, causing him to stumble in reverse. In a groggy state he turns towards Jason who now comes charging in only to be caught around the waist and release belly to belly suplexed upside down into the cell. Jason bounces off of the mesh and then tumbles to the mats across the back of his head.

Screams escalate from the crowd over these life shortening bumps being taken by their favorite competitors. The Icon at this point has approached the ladder, leaning against it for support before begging to scale. He has no idea that on the outside of the ring Kingdom has crawled through the hole he created in the cell, having shoved Brooks and the barbwire out of the way. Johnny crawls to the outside and grabs the wall, beginning to climb up it instead of using the ladder.

Comeau: Ironically Orlando climbing the ladder inside of the ring and his tag team partner Johnny Kingdom is climbing the cell from the outside, which is brilliant strategy.

Susie: Nothing was as brilliant as Hellkat’s Guyver costume.

Robin rips herself free from the mesh and begins to drag herself towards the hole as well, desperately trying to stop the bloodied Team Leader. Creed has another idea of how to stop him however, as he begins to climb cell wall from the inside.

All the while Orlando has dragged himself to the middle of the steel cage when a lacerated Psycho grabs hold of his ankle. He wraps his arms around it, trying to prevent Cruze from reaching the trapdoor. Psycho starts to climb up the ladder beneath him now when Cruze reaches into his trunks and extracts a weapon.

Mark: Oh no, Orlando’s got that spike!

The railroad spike is driven straight into the already ripped skull of Psycho, causing blood to begin gushing. Orlando drives the spike over and over again into Psycho’s forehead, ripping it open enough for him to finally drop to the canvas across his back, completely laid out.

Orlando places the spike back in his trunks and begins to scale the ladder yet again. Meanwhile Kingdom finds himself a few inches removed from the barbwire wrapped top edge of the cell roof. He tries to find his way through the cell in his path, until he realizes Creed has climbed to the top of the cell on the opposite side of the wall before him.

Before Kingdom has time to react Nathan reaches up and grabs the roof of the cell, beginning to kick with both feet at Johnny’s knuckles as they grasp hold of the cage wall. Creed actually swings his body like a chimp as both boots nail both of Kingdom’s knuckles, causing him to lose his grasp on the mesh. Johnny has one hand on the wall now, the rest of his body dangling precariously high above the outside mats. He swings his dangling arm repeatedly in the hopes that it will somehow strengthen his grasp on the mesh.

Susie: SPICEY MEATBALL!

Comeau: Kingdom on the verge of being knocked almost from the top of the cell!

Johnny continues to hold onto the wall with one hand as blood dribbles down his face. However, Creed has given up on taking him out, instead focused solely on the trapdoor, on reaching the second lair. Nathan continues to cling hold of the cage roof, staring through the mesh at the contract hanging above the ring.

Behind him, in the ring, Orlando has crawled to the top of the ladder, pushing open the trapdoor and beginning to enter the second tier.

Mark: We really need help out here for Kingdom, where is our medical staff? And Orlando has just reached the second lair finally, it’s so hard to keep up with the action after what just happened.

An agonizing Hellkat crawls into the ladder, holding it tightly and beginning to scale up it beneath Orlando. Cruze exerts all of his strength to pull himself up into the second tier of the Weapon’s Lair despite the anguish that he’s sustained.

The crowd finds themselves shocked now at the sight of Creed still holding onto the roof of the cell and hanging from it as he pulls himself towards the trapdoor. His body continues to be suspended high above the ring as he goes hand over hand towards the trapdoor, the fans expressing their disbelief.

As he gets closer to the trapdoor, Hellkat gets closer to the top of the ladder. Both athletes reach the trapdoor at the same time, Hellkat turning around on the top of the ladder to face Nathan. Creed swings his lower body into a dropkick to Hellkat’s chest, trying to take her out the same way he did to Kingdom.

Creed swings his legs into another dropkick only for them to land on Hellkat’s shoulders. He immediately tries to lock in a triangle choke, attempting to strangle the life from her body. To his dismay however, Hellkat pulls down on his legs repeatedly, causing Creed to unleash his grasp on the cell roof.

He now finds himself hanging upside down with Hellkat’s arms wrapped around his waist. She now jumps off of the ladder and connects with a piledriver on the Future, driving his head violently into the canvas.

Fans: IWC, IWC, IWC!!

The fans are out of their seats and the athletes in the ring our obviously out of their minds.

Comeau: A pilderiver from Hellkat on Creed from the top of the ladder! That had to have been one of the damndest things I’ve seen.

Susie: I’ve seen a lot of things that should be damned, just like my uncle’s penis!

Creed lays on the canvas a crumpled wreckage of a man as Hellkat flops around on the ring holding her posterior from the sickening landing. The fans really start to erupt though as Psycho re-enters the fray, his face already a crimson mask after taking repeated shots from that armored fist and the railroad spike. The source of the crowd’s applause is the fact that Psycho has a Singapore cane wrapped in razor wire in one hand, and a black sack in the other.

He lifts the cane up high, resulting in even more screams from the crowd. He then turns the sack upside down, spilling thousands of thumbtacks across the canvas to screams from the fans.

Comeau: Oh no, not thumbtacks!

Moore: I like thumbtacks, although they don’t taste that good going down.

An unfortunate Hellkat is the first to start rising in the ring, and as soon as her feet are beneath her they’re knocked right out from under her again thanks to a blistering shot to the forehead from the cane.

The razor slashes through her forehead as Hellkat crumbles to the canvas, dabbing her palm against her now lacerated forehead. Nathan suffers just as foul of a fate as he starts to stand up only to have the cane slapped brutally against his spine. The razors slash through Creed’s skin as he gets to his knees and bellows in agony.

He falls forward to the ring rolling around and arching his gashed spine from the canvas. As Psycho doles out the pain in the ring Brooks evades physicality, taking the same path as Kingdom to the second lair. She begins to climb right past Johnny who is still holding onto the cell wall with one hand, trying to get back his barings.

Comeau: Psycho just dishing out the pain with that Singapore cane wrapped in razor wire.

Susie: But it’s so nice and sparkly, it shouldn’t hurt you, it should make you beautiful.

Mark: It’s not your plastic surgeon’s scalpel Susie.

Wheeler has now grabbed the table that Creed tried to slide into the ring earlier, completing the job by pushing it under the ropes onto the canvas. The Black Cat quickly slips in when Psycho spots him, charging forward and swinging the cane straight at his forehead.

Unfortunately for Psycho his opponent has avoided the blow, causing the Sadistic Savage to spin towards him. He rushes straight at Jason again with the cane held high only to be caught with the Claim to Fame (Sky High Spinebuster).

The Psychotic One is driven back first into the ring as Wheeler lands on his seat then quickly rolls backwards to his feet, beginning to approach the table.

Inside of the second cage Orlando has finally gathered the strength to stand up, staggering around and falling into one of the walls containing numerous weapons. Instead of grabbing hold of the light-tubes, the 2x4s wrapped in barbwire, or the glass tables, Orlando digs in his trunks for his favorite weapon.

Mark: Uh oh, Orlando going into his trunks…

Susie: Um, Orlando, I don’t think this is the time or place for that type of thing. At least have the audacity to do it behind an announcement table.

The spike is removed from Cruze’s trunks as his eyes cut to the contract then to the two figures making their way up the side of the bottom cell. He steps towards one of the two doorways mounted on opposite sides of the cage, opening it up to get the drop on his approaching opponents.

Robin is busily chopping Kingdom repeatedly across the chest, almost sending him tumbling from the cell wall. Somehow he has just enough strength to hold on, digging his fingers in deeper to the mesh. Much like Creed, Brooks gives up on this pointless pursuit and instead starts up the cell, reaching the top edge that is surrounded by barbwire. She delicately begins to make her way around the wiring, grabbing the roof of the cell.

That’s when Orlando drops to his knees over top of her and begins to spike both sets of fingers repeatedly. The railroad spike rips through her knuckles as she screams and desperately tries to hold onto the roof of the cell. Finally her grasp is broken as she begins to tumble backwards off of the edge of the cell only to reach out and grab the barbwire wrapped around it.

Her screams become even louder as she is forced to cling to the barbwire ripping her palms apart in order to keep from crashing to the announce tables below.

Comeau: This match is certainly not for the squeamish.

Susie: Silly Robin, you can’t blame with barbwire, believe me, I’ve tried, that’s why I got the scars on my palms.

Robin cannot even interrupt her pain any longer as she continues to cling the barbwire, realizing that she cannot leg go of it or she’s destined for disaster. Orlando has now grabbed her by the hair, dragging her forehead into the barbwire she’s clutching hold of.

She is not the only one screaming as the fans are also expressing their shock at the sight of her face being grinded against the barbwire. In the ring below Cruze, Wheeler is now setting up the table, fully intent on driving Psycho through one just like he did at the end of the last Riot!

The N.H.B Champion turns towards Psycho who has gotten to his knees just in time to be hit with a big shinning wizard. His shin connects straight against the scarred, bloodied features of the big man, sending him right back down to the canvas.

Jason can seemingly care less about the number one contendership as he jabs Psycho to the forehead over and over again. In fact, he’s so predisposed with Psycho that he doesn’t even notice the bloodied Hellkat crawling towards the ladder, grabbing hold of it and beginning to scale towards the trapdoor in the roof of the cell.

Jason now drags the bloodied Psycho to his knees, beginning to pull his bloodied damaged body towards the table. It’s right at this point that the resourceful Black Cat steps over the Singapore cane that Psycho was using as a weapon just moments ago, the handle now being gripped by a disorientated Nathan Creed.

The broken Nathan spots Jason’s predicament and therefore lifts up on the cane, driving the razor wire straight into Wheeler’s crotch. The look that befalls Wheeler’s face tells the entire story, as he goes white as a ghost and his jaw hangs open, almost finding himself on the verge of vomiting due to the pain that he is in.

Moore: I think that was a legal castration.

Comeau: Jason taking the razor wire straight where the sun does not like to shine.

Hellkat has now reached the trapdoor, pushing it open and climbing up into the second cage. Orlando turns away from the now bloodied Brooks, spotting the tattooed kitty invading his personal space. This prompts him to grab his spike and start towards the closed cage door.

That’s when Hellkat stands up inside of the second smaller steel cage and delivers a superkick to the door, launching it backwards straight into Orlando’s face and body. The mesh crashes against his flesh and sends him tumbling back first onto the roof of the cell.

He is completely laid out while the claret smeared features of Hellkat observe the contract high above. Due to her blood loss she drops to her knees, taking just a moment to recuperate. This gives Kingdom enough time to climb past Brooks who in shell shock is still holding onto the barbwire for dear life, despite the amount of flesh its already cut from her body.

Johnny pulls himself precariously over the barbwire onto the roof of the cell. Inside of the cell beneath them the carnage continues to escalate as Creed now gets to his feet with the Singapore cane still in his hand and Wheeler still stunned before him.

He sticks the cane across the Black Cat’s throat then takes him over with a Russian Leg Sweep. The cane proves to be quite helpful as the barbwire digs into the flesh on Wheeler’s throat throughout the process of the move. It leaves Wheeler sprawled out on his side gasping for air.

It’s at this point that Creed stands and takes the bangs of Wheeler’s hair, forcing him up to his feet then dragging him towards the table. Nathan steps up the turnbuckle in reverse, sitting on the top rope and then taking Wheeler around the waist, beginning to lift him up into position for a powerbomb through the table.

However, at the last second Wheeler spins out of the powerbomb position and then jumps to a middle cable, springing off and twisting into a dropkick to Nathan’s sternum. Creed is almost knocked off of the turnbuckle but somehow he remains seated, precariously wavering from side to side.

Jason gets back to his feet, staring over the table at a rising Psycho who is using the wood for support. That’s when Wheeler jumps onto the surface of the table and then dives off, landing on Psycho’s shoulders for a hurricarana. However, Psycho turns and pushes upward on the back of the Black Cat’s thighs. This sends him flipping backwards over top of the sea of thumbtacks and landing right on his feet.

He now charges backwards into the cables, bouncing off and rushing straight towards one of his many rivals. Psycho bends forward and catches the inbound Wheeler however, throwing him over his head and over the table. Jason’s light and nimble body flies through the air and finally lands right on top of Creed’s shoulders.

Wheeler drops back and hurricaranas Creed right through the table. It shatters to pieces as Nathan’s body tumbles through it, Jason falling back to the ring amongst screams of joy from the crowd.

Comeau: Nathan through the table!! This is sheer anarchy.

Susie: Those tables aren’t very nice, nor accommodating.

Creed lays amongst the broken fragments of wood while Wheeler jumps to his feet then bounces off of the cables, getting another running start at Psycho. He storms straight towards his rival only for Psycho to catch the inbound Wheeler under his arm, spinning him around and delivering a black hole slam on top of the thumbtacks.

Hundreds of tacks dig themselves into Wheeler’s flesh as he roars at the top of his lungs from the unbearable agony.

Mark: Wheeler turned into a human pin cushion.

Susie: He looks like the villain from Hellraiser now, and not the fat one in the designer shades who reminds me of Bill from King of the Hill.

Jason rolls to his stomach, revealing the dozens of tacks protruding from his flesh. A bludgeoned, badly hurt Psycho begins to crawl towards the ladder, grabbing hold of it and ascending his way towards the trapdoor. Inside of the middle cage Hellkat overlooks all of the damaging weapons hanging from the interior of the walls. She seems to be debating which weapon will suffice her bloodlust. The light-tubes? No. How about the hedge-clippers? A little too over the top.

Finally her eyes light up at the sight of the perfect weapon, stepping forward and snatching it off the walls when her demented eyes shift to the disorientated Kingdom. He is crawling towards the exterior of the middle cage wall, plotting to scale it and avoid all of this chaos.

Hellkat puts a stop to these plans when she steps out of the cage and moves behind Johnny, taking him by the jaw and pulling back on his head. She now attacks his nose hairs with a dreaded pear of tweezers. Roars emanate from Kingdom as Hellkat twists the tweezers and rips hairs straight out of Kingdom’s nostrils.

Fans: SHE’S HARDCORE, SHE’S HARDCORE, SHE’S HARDCORE!

Johnny tries to blow the tweezers out of his nose but to no avail as Hellkat gets her malicious jollies. She is too distracted with her tweezer related brutality to spot Brooks rushing up behind her, taking her around the neck then stepping up the wall of the cage.

She pushes herself off the wall and twists Hellkat around into a tornado bulldog driving her face first into the mesh of the cell roof. Hellkat rolls to her back while the bleeding Brooks sits on the mesh, her eyes glazed over.

Comeau: I don’t believe what I just saw. Hellkat savagely, disgustingly tweezing the very hairs from Kingdom’s nostrils. How brutal is this match going to get?

Susie: It’s nice to know that in between all this brutality that Hellkat still has time to give free manicures.

Psycho continues to labor towards the top of the ladder, his body ravaged via physical agony. Somehow he reaches the trapdoor nevertheless, pushing himself up inside of the second cage. The trapdoor remains positioned on top of his head when a steel chair wrapped in barbwire is swung down into the mesh.

The chair and the steel mesh trapdoor are driven with incredible force into Psycho’s head, almost knocking him from the top of the ladder back down to the ring below. Somehow he remains positioned on the very top rung, refusing to be taken down.

Orlando continues to stand in the cage above him, throwing the chair aside and grabbing the trapdoor, lifting it into the air then swinging it down into the top of Psycho’s skull once more. But the big man still refuses to go down, gripping the ladder with all his remaining strength.

Orlando repeated lifts up on the door and slams it into the top of Psycho’s head over and over again. All the while the Black Cat has crawled to the opposite side of the ladder, agonizingly dragging himself up it. Hundred of tacks remain embedded in his flesh as Wheeler anxiously drags himself up the rungs, the fans cheering him on.

The crowd also gasps each time the trapdoor is driven into the top of Psycho’s skull, yet he still will not go down. He wavers from side to side with blood absolutely gushing down his features, but he keeps a couple fingers wrapped around the rung of the ladder.

Mark: Psycho’s head being ripped apart by the mesh of that trapdoor but he will not fall from that ladder.

Susie: His head is tougher than Jack Palance’s voice.

Outside of the second cage on top of the cell, Robin is now trying to climb the wall of the smaller middle cell. She pulls himself up it agonizing all the while with blood still dripping down her face and from her palms. The crowd is screaming for somebody to stop her as she reaches the half way point of the steel cage wall.

Her hand reaches up to grab the top edge when Kingdom steps up behind her, taking her around the waist and powerbombing her down onto the mesh roof of the cell. The floor shakes beneath their feet as Kingdom falls to his knees, taking deep breaths.

Inside of the middle cage Orlando has given up on stopping Psycho as he now approaches one of the many weapons loaded on the walls, including a sheet of wood wrapped in barbwire. He passes by that in favor of grabbing a light-tube. He has no idea that on the ladder beneath him, Psycho is regaining his faculties. That’s before Jason Wheeler reaches the top of the ladder via the opposite side.

The N.H.B Champion reaches up for the trapdoor when Psycho delivers a hard open palm strike right across his chest. The shot almost knocks Jason from the top but he reaches up and grabs the roof of the cell to support himself. He now delivers a shot right to Psycho’s jaw, almost taking him off the top of the ladder.

Psycho reaches up and grabs the roof of the cell as well in order to support himself, both men precariously exchanging shots on the top of the ladder.

Above them Johnny has grabbed Hellkat by the leg, dragging her across the roof of the cell towards the barbwire lining the edge of the huge steel structure. He drops her legs and now delicately grabs the barbwire, pulling it away from the edge of the cell roof and beginning to tie it around Hellkat’s ankle.

Comeau: What the hell is Johnny doing?

Susie: Playing cops and robbers?

The barbwire is now tied around Hellkat’s ankle as Johnny steps past her, moving towards the outside wall of the middle cage. Hellkat regains herself long enough to grab Johnny by the ankle, trying to keep him from going any further. He stomps down at her bloodied face, freeing himself and moving towards the wall.

Hellkat tries to crawl after him and then realizes that she can’t move, her leg is caught up in the barbwire. The bloodied, angered kitty sits up and tries desperately to untie herself while Johnny has started up the wall, on the verge of reaching the roof.

Beneath him, Psycho and Wheeler continue to exchange right hands on the top of the ladder, neither man aware that Creed is crawling across the ring, having regained his senses.

Nathan drags himself out of the broken chunks of wood and grabs the bottom of the ladder, beginning to push with all his strength. The fans scream as the ladder is knocked over, but shockingly Psycho and Wheeler continue to hold onto the roof of the cell, leaving them suspended high above the ring.

Their legs dangle while they grip hold of the cell, now kicking at one another. Creed has rolled under the ropes and dropped to his knees on the mats, crawling towards the hole opened in the cell wall. Jason swings himself into a kick to Psycho’s stomach, and the scarred figure delivers kicks of his own, but neither man is ready to take the faithful plunge.

That’s when Orlando steps over Jason’s fingers stuck through the roof of the cell and lifts the light-tube into the air. He now shatters it right over Jason’s fingers, causing Wheeler to roar in pain and break his grip on the mesh. As a result Wheeler comes tumbling from the top of the cell all the way down to the ring below, where he slams with an unearthly splat.

Comeau: OH MY GOD!

Susie: I thought cats were suppose to land on their feet.

Mark: Wheeler, Wheeler may be completely taken out of this match after that tumble from the top of the bottom cell all the way to the ring.

Wheeler remains sprawled out across the canvas, his eyes fluttering on the verge of unconsciousness. Psycho continues to hang above him and now climbs hand over hand towards the trapdoor. He reaches up and grabs the edges of the door when Orlando begins to stomp down at his fingers repeatedly.

Psycho grinds his teeth from the pain but refuses to take the same deadly bump that Wheeler just did. He begins to pull himself up through the trapdoor with Orlando blasting him to the bloodied forehead with right hands all the while.

Finally Psycho pulls himself up into middle cage, getting to his knees when Orlando takes him around the neck and DDTs him right into the mesh. Psycho rolls onto his back while Orlando looks up and spots Kingdom climbing onto the roof of the middle cage.

Comeau: Look at this, Kingdom has made it to the top of the second cage, he’s just got to make it up one more lair, grab the contract and bring it back down to the floor below.

Moore: Sounds easy.

Johnny begins to crawl towards the third cage, where inside sledgehammers, glass tables, and lighter fluid is present. Kingdom doesn’t seem interested in any of these weapons, instead his attention is focused on the contract hung high above.

His path to the contract is suddenly obscured however, when Robin reaches over the edge of the second cage roof and catches him by the ankle. Kingdom despondently tries to kick her away, yet Brooks won’t let go, even with her sliced up, damaged hands.

She pulls her aching frame over onto the roof of the middle cage as Kingdom repeatedly kicks at her bloodied forehead.

Orlando now has hold of that very steel chair wrapped in barbwire, wedging it under Psycho’s throat and pushing down it viciously. Cruze’s face is twisted with intensity as he drives the chair deeper and deeper into the crimson soaked throat of his opposition.

Creed is now pulling himself over the barbwire and onto the roof of the cell, anxiously crawling past Hellkat who is still fighting to free her ankle. She has some of the barbwire pulled away from her flesh but is struggling with the rest of it. She doesn’t even notice as Nathan passes right by her and begins to crawl towards the wall of the second cage.

Orlando now throws the chair aside and grabs Psycho around his bloodied locks, puling him to his feet and whipping him towards the wall of the cage.

Psycho turns and slams into the steel hard back first, almost falling over as a result, yet he catches hold of the mesh and remains standing. He finds his back wedged to a collection of light-tubes bundled together. Orlando now turns and charges at Psycho, bending forward to spear him against the cage.

However, Psycho side steps him and causes Orlando to slam face first into the glass tubes, shattering them all upon impact. White powder disperses through the air and glass embeds itself into Orlando’s forehead, causing him to stand up with a badly lacerated forehead. He staggers lifelessly in reverse right into Psycho’s shoulders.

The big man has recovered long enough to lift Orlando up into a torture rack position before rushing across the cell roof and delivering the burning hammer. Orlando is dropped right on top of his forehead against the mesh, further engraining the glass into his skull.

Moore: BURT WARD!

Mark: A burning hammer by Psycho on Orlando, driving him right into that steel disgustingly.

Orlando rolls onto his back laying right beside an exhausted, badly bloodied Psycho. Above them on the roof of the middle cage Robin and Kingdom are decking it out. They stand right on the edge of the roof with Kingdom winning the war of shots.

Brooks now stands right on the edge of the steel, about to collapse back down to the cell roof below. She flails her arms to keep from being taken over as Johnny comes barreling towards her for the final shot. That’s when Brooks bends forward, catching the inbound Kingdom with a back drop.

Johnny flips through the air and comes crashing down from a tremendous height back first onto the roof of the first cell. The crowd is on its feet screaming in shock, everyone stunned by Kingdom’s tumble from the top to the cell roof below. He lays there motionless at this point as Brooks now stumbles forward into the wall of the third cage, beginning to drag herself up it. She has no idea that Nathan is climbing over the edge of the second cage, pulling himself up onto the roof just beneath her.

Inside of the second cage Psycho has snapped from his dazed state and begins to move towards the door, blood clotting as it oozes from his face. Orlando is shockingly beginning to stir as well, reaching for his incredibly damaged cranium.

Brooks’ eyes have lit up as she closes in on the contract, finding herself mere inches from the top of the third cage. She is still unaware that Nathan is climbing up behind her, and doesn’t learn of this until Nathan is right at her side. She now tries to back elbow Creed to the face only to have Nathan avoid it and snatch hold of her hair.

Creed bends Robin’s head over backwards with her struggling to get free. That’s when Nathan takes her around the neck in a reverse DDT position and now hits the Cut Above off the wall of the third cage. Robin is dragged down across the back of her right into the roof of the middle cage, the crowd erupting at the sight of this.

Comeau: Robin so close to reaching the contract but Creed pulls her off of the wall with the Cut Above. What insanity.

Susie: It’s crazier than Arkham Asylum.

The crowd is stunned by what they just witnessed and become even more alarmed at the sight of Psycho grabbing a table from inside of the second structure. He pulls it with all his strength towards one of the two doors leading out onto the roof of the cell. He pushes it open and continues to force the table outward onto the roof.

He begins to set the table up on the roof of the cell but is having trouble doing so given the physical onslaught and the loss of blood. After a great struggle Hellkat has now freed her ankle from the barbwire and quickly turns, crawling towards a laid out Kingdom.

She sinks her claws into his bald head and forces him up to his knees then grabs the barbwire she was just tangled in. She begins to wrap it around Kingdom’s cranium to screams from the crowd, getting it all tangled in his skull then approaches the second cage. She steps inside of it and grabs an object off of the ground.

Kingdom instinctively begins to stand, trying to rip the barbwire away from his head when Hellkat steps in and swings that very same chair wrapped in barbwire right against his skull. Two layers of barbwire and steel mangle Johnny’s face and sends him tumbling to his back amongst despondent screams from the crowd.

Hellkat now steps to his side and swings the chair down viciously into his skull, the impact bludgeoning and busting the Team Leader wide open. Hellkat now turns and throws the chair onto the roof of the second cage, beginning to scale it while brushing claret from her eyes.

To the astonishment of many, given the numerous bumps he’s withstood, Creed is at the top of the third cage. He pulls himself over onto the roof with the fans squealing and Hellkat trying to catch up with him.

Comeau: Creed is on the third cage, he’s on the third cage, he’s just beneath the contract!

Susie: The Conspiracy’s gonna win? Oh petewee!

Orlando is now crawling out of the middle cage and grabbing the wall, trying his best to pull himself up it with pieces of glass protruding from his forehead. Psycho now steps around the table he just set up and moves towards the cage wall, grabbing hold of it and beginning to scale towards the top.

Creed stands up on the very highest point of the Weapon’s Lair, his body drained by the physicality yet he still reaches up for the swaying contract. The fans unleash a mixed applause as Nathan pulls the contract down off of the hook.

Comeau: Creed’s got the contract! Now all he has to do is climb down, put both feet on the floor outside of the Lair and he’s number one contender.

Before Nathan can even contemplate doing as much he turns to spot Hellkat stepping up onto the roof of the third cage with him. Although exhausted she bolts towards him, Creed swinging the clipboard the contract is mounted on straight at her face.

Hellkat avoids the impact and then reaches up, grabbing the hook and cable that the contract was hung from. She swings through the air like a swashbuckling pirate and comes back at Creed who spins around in time to be hit with a front dropkick to the sternum. The impact knocks Creed off the edge of the third cage and sends him plummeting spine first to the roof of the middle steel structure below.

He lands with a resounding thus and without the contract in hand. He dropped it right on the top of the third cage where Hellkat takes hold of it. A delighted kitty stares through her blood at the number one contender’s contract, unaware that Robin has pulled herself up onto the roof behind her.

She doesn’t learn of this until Brooks jumps into the air, landing on Hellkat’s shoulders from behind then pulls her over into a reverse hurricarana. Hellkat is spiked right on top of her head, which is driven with incredible force into the mesh. She bounces off of the steel then rolls to the edge of the roof amongst screams from the crowd.

A disorientated Brooks now grabs the contract, pulling it in close and planting a kiss on it before ripping the papers off of the clipboard and shoving them into her braw. They stick out at the top but Robin doesn’t care as her almost crippled body begins to climb down the wall of the third cage.

She doesn’t even make it down all the way before she finds herself seated on top of Psycho’s shoulders. The big man stepped under her and now drops back into an electric chair drop. Brooks crashes hard back first into the roof of the middle cage while Psycho sits up grimacing in pain and bleeding repulsively.

Instead of going for the contract Psycho stands up and opens the door to the third cage, stepping inside and grabbing the lighter fluid, throwing it over his shoulder to the outside. He is more interested in grabbing one of the glass tables, beginning to slide it out of the cage.

He gets it half way out when Orlando steps around behind him and delivers a clubbing blow over his back. Psycho drops the table as a result before he’s spun around into a European Uppercut from the Icon. The blow knocks Psycho backwards inside of the third cage as Orlando enters himself and begins to unload on him with repeated right hands.

Brooks makes use of this time to begin crawling over the edge of the second cage, trying to flee. She has no idea that Kingdom has recovered below and is crawling around the roof of the hell in a cell to cut her off.

Inside of the very top cage Orlando drills Psycho with another European Uppercut then turns, spotting a pear of hedge clippers on the wall. He reaches out and grabs it, turning to use the weapon only to spot Psycho holding a sledgehammer. The weapon was pulled off of the wall as well and is now swung right into Orlando’s ribs, doubling him over.

Mark: A sledgehammer may have just broken every one of Cruze’s ribs.

Moore: Ribs are as overrated as Beyonce’s booty.

Cruze drops to his knees as Psycho throws down the hammer and steps to the outside of the cage, swinging the door shut. To the shock of many he digs in his pocket and retrieves a piece of rope. He puts it through the mesh wiring and around the door, typing it shut and trapping Orlando inside.

Robin has climbed down to the mid-way point of the second cage with the contract still tucked in her bosom when Kingdom steps up behind her, catching Brooks around the waist then dropping back into a German suplex. Brooks is flipped off of the wall and sent crashing stomach and face first into the roof of the cell.

Psycho has pushed the glass table over the edge of the cage to the cell below. Surprisingly it doesn’t shatter when it hits the mesh. He now begins to climb down the wall, dropping to the cell roof as well and grabbing the glass table. He begins to set it up on the side opposite to the one he placed a table just a few short moments ago.

Kingdom makes use of the table by driving Robin’s face into the edge, knocking her down to the mesh. He now approaches the lighter fluid that was thrown down by Psycho earlier. He snatches it up and lifts it into the air to a thunderous applause from the crowd.

Mark: This isn’t good.

Susie: Yeah, lighter fluid tastes awful.

Johnny turns and begins to drench the table with fluid, absolutely soaking it. That’s when he’s spun around and grabbed by the throat, shocked to find himself in the clutches of Psycho who hoists him into the air then chokeslams him violently onto the mesh roof of the lower cell.

He now approaches the struggling Robin, who is trying to crawl away only to grab her by the hair. She screams and kicks as Psycho drags her around the middle cage towards the glass table. He spins Brooks around and slugs her directly between her bloodied eyes, knocking her backwards onto the table.

Psycho now begins to approach the middle cage, starting to scale it yet again despite Robin having the number one contender’s contract right in her cleavage. On the opposite side of the roof of the second cage Hellkat is now standing, looking through the mesh of the top cage’s wall at Orlando.

Cruze shakes the wall, trying his best to get free while Hellkat’s eyes turn towards a struggling Nathan, fighting to regain his consciousness. She now looks over her shoulder at the table below soaked in lighter fluid then winks towards the trapped Icon. She now reaches into her tights and removes a lighter, why it was there who knows?

She strikes the flint and turns, throwing the lighter down onto the table, setting it ablaze.

Comeau: Uh oh.

The fire on the table wages below but behind Hellkat, on the opposite side of the third cage Psycho is standing and staring down at Brooks stretched across the glass table on the roof of the cell below. Psycho now rushes forward and jumps off of the roof of the second cell, crashing down with a back first senton splash right across Robin’s ribs and through the glass table.

The fans react with a rousing response as Brooks is driven through the glass and crushed beneath the weight of Psycho’s body. Hellkat has hold of Nathan’s hair now, dragging him to the edge of the second cage, striking him repeatedly to the forehead, on the verge of knocking him through the flaming table on the cell below.

She once again turns and smirks in Orlando’s direction before charging right at Creed who suddenly catches her around the neck and the thigh, dropping back into a release exploder suplex.

Hellkat is flipped over and sent crashing from the top of the second cell all the way down through the flaming table below. A rousing “holy shit” chant erupts from the crowd over these two sickening table spots.

Comeau: AAAHHH!

Moore: No, the Thundercats have been decimated!

Hellkat rolls out of the flames and desperately tries to put herself out.

Comeau: Robin and Hellkat put through tables by the brothers Nathan Creed and Psycho. I don’t see how they could possibly return from something like this, Hellkat was friggin on fire for Christ sakes.

Susie: Yes, Hellkat is flaming, I think, depending on rather she’s a man or not.

Hellkat lays on the steel with her back singed by the flames of the table. On the opposite side of the roof Brooks has been lacerated heavily by the broken glass. Psycho slowly turns and digs his fingers into Robin’s bosom precariously before removing the contract.

Somehow, even after that death defying back first splash from such high elevation, Psycho begins to stand, driving himself urgently to his feet. He stands, reviews the contract stained with blood and begins to move towards the second cage to make it down into the cell below.

However, he doesn’t realize that Nathan is rushing across the roof of the cage above him and now dives off the edge, flipping forward into a senton bomb right into his siblings sternum. Both men tumble hard into the mesh and writhe in pain afterwards, Creed reaching repeatedly for his back and Psycho convulsing.

Mark: A BIG DIVE FROM CREED!

Susie: That looked fun. Of course a lot of things that are painful are also fun, WATCH JACKASS! It proves my point.

The bodies of both brothers have taken so much punishment in this match that neither can stand. Instead Creed crawls desperately towards the contract, ripping it out of his brother’s hand then struggling to his feet. He uses his brother as a prop to stand up, stumbling around in an incoherent state then turning right towards the door leading into the second cage.

Before he can make it a light-tube is shattered violently over his skull. Glass flies everyone as it busts against Creed’s flesh. A bloodied Kingdom stands in front of Creed who somehow is still on his feet, body shivering from the pain. He only stands long enough to be kicked to the gut and places in a front chancery. Kingdom lifts him up into the air and connects with the Exodus Finale.

Creed’s skull slams with such force against the mesh that he is left a gelatin mass, blood streaming down his cheeks and the fans roaring with approval.

Comeau: Dear lord, an EXODUS FINALE right on top of the cell! They can’t even make it into the second cage, how are they going to reach the outside mats?

Moore: They can teleport?

Orlando is still trapped inside of the third cage, shaking the door to try and break the rope and free him from his confinement. Kingdom now has hold of the contract, beginning to crawl towards the door and pushing his way through it. The trapdoor is so close Kingdom can taste it, reaching down and grabbing the trap door. He looks down into the cell, realizing that there is no ladder to climb down.

As a result a snide smirk forms across the arrogant Kingdom’s face, realizing he can easily scale the wall of the bottom cell down to the mats. He steps through the door once again, passing by the laid out Psycho and Creed then stepping over the area where the barbwire has been broken.

This allows him to throw his body over the side of the cell and precariously begin climbing down it.

Comeau: Johnny making his escape by climbing down the cell CONTRACT in hand. This is an ingenious way to reach the mats and obtain the number one contender shot.

Susie: Johnny is smart, much smarter than Jessica Simpson, and she’s like a scholar! A SCHOLAR!

Mark: Uhhh, yeah.

Kingdom is moving down the wall, contract being held between his teeth to free up both of his hands. That’s when Psycho reaches over the edge of the cage and grabs the contract, ripping it out of Kingdom’s teeth. He reaches up with his free hand, grabbing the contract and trying to pull it out of Psycho’s hand.

The scarred monster refuses to release it and begins to deliver punches to his opponent’s forehead. Kingdom falls down a few chinks of the cell wall as a result but was able to finagle hold of the contract. He comes down to almost the half\way point of the cell, contract in his grasp and the crowd on its feet. They realize that he is closer to realizing his goal, that the mats are feet away from him.

That’s when Psycho reaches over the edge and grabs the contract, almost hanging upside to reach it. He pulls it out of Kingdom’s clutches and reaches back, putting it on top of the cell roof. The big man tries to pull himself up now, his blood dripping down onto Johnny’s face.

Suddenly Kingdom reaches out and spitefully grabs Psycho around the neck, realizing that he’s put down the contract. Therefore he locks his hung upside down opponent in the front chancery before dropping back into an Exodus Finale. Psycho is pulled from the top of the cell and dropped right across the Spanish announce table with the brainbuster DDT. The duo crash through the table, which explodes beneath their bodies and causes the crowd to jump out of its feet absolutely stunned by what they just witnessed.

Susie: SILENT BOB!

A rousing “IWC” chant has commenced from the crowd as they see both men spread out amongst the broken chunks of announce table. Nobody can believe that Kingdom just hit the Exodus Finale and put Psycho head first through the wood from such an extreme height.

Mark: A stunning Exodus Finale just destroyed the Spanish announce table just like it destroyed both men’s bodies.

The contract remains on the edge of the lowest cell, stuck to the tip of barbwire. It’s in perfect position for Robin Brooks, who somehow has recovered enough, although sporting several gashes on her back, to seize hold of it.

She pulls the bloody parchment to her chest and rolls agonizingly across the cell roof towards the door. She is not risking going over the side and climbing down the wall after seeing the risk it creates. Brooks begins to crawl through the trapdoor while down below Wheeler has pulled the ladder back into position.

He refuses the numerous protests from referee Princeton on the outside of the cell, telling him to get medical help after his deadly plunge from the top of the cell. Brooks makes use of the ladder, cautiously putting her feet down on it and beginning to climb the rungs. Blood streams down her body from every inch, every gash coursing through her exhausted body spouts claret.

In spite of her injuries she crawls down the ladder slowly, her palms aching each time that they touch the rungs. She almost cries from the blinding pain but continues to make her way down the ladder, realizing she is on the eve of a title match.

If she was aware that Hellkat were currently climbing down through the trapdoor she would be dejected. Especially since Hellkat drops down into the top of the ladder then reaches over to the other side, forcing the blood stained document out of Robin’s hand.

Inside of the third cage Orlando is now kicking the door, beginning to break it from its’ hinges.

And down below a speechless Brooks is wide eyed at the sight of the equally as bloodied Hellkat occupying the other side of the ladder. Hellkat excruciatingly climbs down the ladder only to have Robin reach through the rung, grabbing her by the throat with both hands.

Hellkat gasps for air as Robin tries to strangle the lift out of her body.

Robin: DIE YOU HUSSY!

Comeau: Robin and Hellkat shockingly recovered from those astonishing table spots now fighting over the contract precariously on that ladder.

Susie: Snap out of it Thundercats, fight Mumm-Ra’s evil spell!

Neither lady is aware that Wheeler has stepped up under Hellkat, pulling her away from the ladder in an electric chair drop position then drops her into a wheel barrow piledriver. Wheeler falls to his seat and drops a folded up Hellkat directly on the back of her neck, shoulders and head.

Screams are elicited from the crowd over the sickening impact while Hellkat rolls around on the canvas, ending up just under Brooks’ side of the ladder. The Black Widow’s once wide eyes now narrow with evil intentions as she turns around on almost the top of the ladder then flips through the air. She finally comes crashing down onto Hellkat with the shooting star press!

Mark: AMAZING! Robin with a shooting star press crashing right on top of an already injured Hellkat.

Susie: HOW DARE SHE!

Hellkat is left stewing with her own pain, unaware that Johnny Kingdom has crawled through the hole he opened up in the cell wall earlier and now begins to drag himself onto the turnbuckle.

Johnny’s body is enflamed from head to toe with pain from crashing through that announce table yet steps he’s able to maneuver himself to the top rope and connect with the 450 splash. He crashes down right on top of Hellkat, sending her into seizures as a result.

Moore: CABBAGE PATCH KIDS!!

Mark: Now the 450 Splash connecting with Hellkat. What is this, gang up on the kitty day?

Kingdom can’t even interpret his pain as he grips at his ribs and kicks his feet, his ribs perhaps broken after that crash through the table and that splash onto Hellkat. There is seemingly no one left to stop Wheeler from grabbing the contract that Hellkat dropped a few seconds ago.

He snatches it up and begins to stagger towards the ropes, blood dribbling from his nostrils, perhaps brain damage done due to his drop from the top of the cell. He staggers towards the ropes only to have Robin dive out, catching him around the ankle, refusing to let him get any further.

Jason grabs the hair of Brooks though, pulling her up to her feet then delivering a jab directly to her face. Robin stumbles backwards still bleeding heavily before lunging into the air. She lands on Wheeler’s shoulders and hurricaranas him towards the ladder.

Wheeler flies forward and smacks face first into the side of the ladder, knocking it over along with his busted body. Brooks now pushes herself to her elbows and knees, shimmying across the canvas and leaving a trail of blood in her wake. She grabs the contract off of the canvas, balls it up in her fist and moves towards the cell door.

She begins to slither under the ropes to the apron only to have Kingdom grab hold of her ankle. The Black Widow’s eyes once again shoot open and almost burst from her bloodied skull.

Her shocked eyes glance over her shoulder at Kingdom and immediately begins to stomp him to the face. The kicks finally knock Johnny away and allows Brooks to begin standing up on the apron. She just gets up with the contract still in hand when Kingdom lunges into the air behind her, delivering a dropkick over the ropes directly to her upper back.

The collision sends Robin flying forward and smashing into the steel wall, bashing off of it and unfortunately dropping the contract.

Comeau: Brooks dropkicked into the mesh. How much more can she withstand!?! And she lost possession of that contract as well.

Susie: Good, could she bullied Hellkat, and succumb to the mind altering powers of that evil Thundercats persecutor.

Brooks lays on the mats a crumpled mess just like the paper spread out beside her. That’s when Kingdom rolls under the apron, staggering towards the crumpled sheet and takes it into his bloodied palm. His eyes now focus on the cell door, immediately staggering towards it as referee Princeton begins to open it.

Comeau: KINGDOM once again on the verge of exiting the cell! He’s going to take that number one contendership and face Christian Savior at IWC Destiny.

Susie: Stop him Hellkat, stop him Cheetara!

Kingdom begins to step through the door only to have Orlando drop down and land on his feet in front of him. The co-holder of the tag team titles finally broke down the door of the third cage and was able to crawl down the walls to cut Kingdom off right before he could step onto the mats.

Johnny’s eyes narrow in rage as Orlando blocks his path, refusing to let him escape. Tensions between the tag team champions is at its boiling point, both men on the verge of exploding.

Comeau: Orlando stopping Kingdom, cutting him off from escaping the Weapon’s Lair! These two have been at each other’s throats for months, will we finally see it? Will we finally see these two go at it right here and right now inside of the Weapon’s Lair?

Susie: This is spine-tingling, like watching the Tellitubies in the dead of night.

As their eyes interlock all their emotions flood to the surface, Kingdom rushing forward at Orlando darting at him as well. Their fists connect simultaneously with the other’s face. The fans are out of their seats screaming over the Icon and Kingdom finally coming to blows with one another, finally settling who is the better man.

Comeau: They’re finally going at it! KINGDOM AND CRUZE FIGHTING IT OUT!

Johnny suddenly boots Cruze to the ribs and takes him by the back of the head, throwing him face first into the cell wall. The mesh rips Orlando’s skin, leaving deep gashes in his forehead.

He bounces off as Kingdom begins to walk past him, trying to exit the Weapon’s Lair. His foot is extended out over the floor outside of the Weapon’s Lair only to have Orlando grab him urgently by the belt and pull him back into the ring. Orlando twists Johnny around, takes him across the chest and pulls him up into the Rock Bottom.

Johnny is driven with tremendous force spine first against the outside mats, leaving him absolutely unconscious.

Comeau: Rock Bottom on the mats, Rock Bottom on the mats!

Moore: This is more epic than my cold sore.

The crowd is now on the edge of its seat as Orlando grabs the contract off of the mats, having it in his hand finally. The door is open in front of him, being held in that position for Ingelson, and victory is so inviting. It compels Orlando onward, forcing his bruised, bloodied, lacerated body along and almost through the door. His feet are about to touch the outside when Alex Ingelson bolts down the ramp.

He suddenly forearms Princeton from behind then grabs the door, swinging it shut and straight into Orlando’s face. The mesh digs deeply into Orlando’s already busted flesh and sends him tumbling back to the ringside area.

Comeau: NOT AGAIN! Alex Ingelson interfering in Orlando’s match, hitting him with that steel door. I cannot believe the audacity of the Conspiracy.

Moore: I didn’t no Zebras were so violent.

The IWC Head Referee chuckles at the sight of Orlando sprawled across the mats, the contract hanging from his hand. A very bloodied Kingdom crawls toward the precious document while Pat Evans emerges on the ramp, smirking with satisfaction.

The Submission Champion steps towards the ring and stops right behind Alex, slapping him on the palm delightfully.

Evans: This is what you get Orlando, this is what you get for not giving in!

Orlando’s face is a crimson mask and Evans just relishes in the sight of it. He continues to chuckle right alongside Ingelson who he clearly put up to this. They continue to celebrate even as Nathan throws the barbwire wrapped chair to the mats and climbs anxiously down the cell wall.

Blood is still streaming from multiple locations on his damaged body, yet he’s able to make it down to the mats with his Conspiracy teammates.

Mark: Now things have just gone from bad to worse for Orlando, because here comes his brainwashed opponent.

Evans turns towards Creed and points into the cell, demanding that he grab the contract and win this match for the Conspiracy. A grin forms on Nathan’s face that brings into view everyone of his broken teeth and the blood oozing out from his insides. He now steps towards the door with the dejected crowd making their emotions clear.

That’s when Nathan turns and drives the top of the chair directly into Pat’s ribs, doubling him over.

Comeau: HEY! Creed just struck Evans with the chair! What is he doing?

Susie: I don’t believe it, I’m growing hemorroids I’ve been sitting here so long.

A terrified Ingelson’s eyes widen as Creed swings the chair at him and the barbwire connects straight with the referee’s skull. His forehead is slashed wide open as he tumbles to the mats to a rousing response.

Creed finally turns and throws the barbwire wrapped chair directly into Pat’s forehead, knocking him to the mats with force.

Comeau: Nathan has completely turned on the Conspiracy, and as a result Ingelson was finally forced to pay for his transgressions. What are we seeing here from Nathan!?!

Susie: So he’s a woman?

Alex lays on the mats bleeding profusely from the forehead and trying to regain his sense while inside of the Weapon’s Lair, Kingdom has finagled the contract out of the Icon’s hand. He lifts it up into the air and stumbles his way to his feet, grabbing the cage wall to help him stand.

Blood gushes down seemingly every spec of his face as he drags himself along the wall and towards the door, yet again on the eve of winning this match.

Comeau: Johnny again about to win this match!

Kingdom begins to exit the cell when Nathan grabs the chair and swings it straight into the Team Leader’s face. Johnny’s flesh is completely ripped upon impact, his body tumbling backwards into the cell once again and the contract falling out of his hand.

The roars from the crowd are deafening as now Orlando sits up and almost unconsciously grabs the contract. He begins to crawl towards the doorway, his blood clotting as it oozes down his face. He can barely even see through his eyes as he crawls through the door with Nathan stepping back, surprisingly letting him do so.

Mark: LOOK AT THIS, LOOK AT THIS!

Susie: I am, this hemorrhoid is HUGE.

Every fan clamors around the barricades to watch as Orlando crawls out of the cell and onto the mats, officially winning the Weapon’s Lair! The bell chimes signifying the conclusion of one of the bloodiest, most disturbing matches in the history of the IWC.

Comeau: HE’S DONE IT! Orlando Cruze has achieved his dream! He has won the Weapon’s Lair. He has won one of the goriest battles I’ve ever seen.

Susie: Cruze is the winner? Poor Hellkat.

A bloodied Orlando slowly looks up into the eyes of Creed who continues to stand over him with the chair in hand. He reaches down and Cruze reaches up, both men interlocking palms as Nathan helps his long time ally to his feet before dragging him forward into a hug.

Mark: What is going on here? Nathan Creed congratulating Cruze, have we been played yet again? Was Creed’s association with the Conspiracy just an elaborate rouse?

Moore: What medication will I take to get rid of this bump on my ass?

A standing ovation is being given by the fans, both based on the magnitude of Orlando’s victory and the fact that he has reunited with Nathan, the two of them having pulled an elaborate, masterful ploy. Johnny looks up through his blood in disbelief while Wheeler and Hellkat sit up in the ring, equally as shocked by the outcome of this match.

Psycho has gotten to his knees amongst the broken fragments of the table and his eyes open just enough to spot the victor through the mesh of the wall.

Cruze lifts the contract into the air, Creed lifting his partner’s arm in victory. Their bloodied bodies support each other while Evans backs up the ramp across his posterior, holding his forehead and fuming from the outrage over Creed’s betrayal and Orlando’s success.

Mark: What an unbelievable match we just witnessed on an unbelievable night at the conclusion of an unbelievable 2008. This match lived up to all its hype and puts a stamp of finality on one of the biggest years in IWC history. Orlando is your number one contender, Orlando has won the Weapon’s Lair.

Susie: And I just popped my hemorrhoid.

Cruze’s entrance music blares over the PA system as he stands tall with the assistance of his reunited partner Creed. The bloodied contract continues to be gripped in Orlando’s hand as he celebrates one of the biggest wins of his career.

Comeau: New Number One Contender, bodies broken, careers made, this is Mark Comeau and Susie Moore signing off, we’ll see you in 2009!

The copyright symbol appears on the bottom of the screen as the blood drenched duo of Cruze and Creed celebrate their individual victories here tonight at Extinction. A night that cemented legacies, showcased the growth of new stars, swerved the world, crowned new champions, and shortened careers in perhaps the most violent Weapon’s Lair match in IWC history. Goodbye 2008.

FADE TO BLACK