OPENING VIDEO PACKAGE

RIOT!

Before fireworks have a chance to explode, before the fans have the opportunity to jump from their seats in excitement, and before Susie Moore can force in her joke, the arena lights raise to find Alex Ingelson standing in the middle of the ring.

Mark Comeau: Welcome to another edition of Riot! and almost immediately we’re being joined by that traitor Alex Ingelson.

Susie Moore: And I thought his bleached hair made him trustworthy.

The crowd immediately pounces on Ingelson in the verbal sense as the IWC referee remains stoic. In fact he almost grins as he lifts the microphone to his pale features.

Alex Ingelson: I understand.

Strangely he nods his head sympathetically, but his forced emotion only elicits a more negative response.

Ingelson: I understand that your all a little miffed by my behavior at the pay-per-view.

The boos become even louder.

Mark: Miffed?

Moore: I think I have a fur coat made out of one of those.

Alex: I understand that your upset because I didn’t come to this ring during the World title match and do the quote un quote “right thing.”

He even busts out the quotation fingers to further aggravate the crowd.

Ingelson: And most importantly I understand that your all self righteous hypocrites.

The Manhattan Center shakes with boos at this point.

Alex: Every one of you expects me to do the “right thing” and to be the hero? That’s laughable considering that you don’t have the integrity, and the strength to stand up and stand for something yourselves. You all buckle under the pressure of nobility and honor and then try to live vicariously through me? No, no, I’m through being your hero and your martyr.

Alex has to pause due to the deafening screams of anger originating from the crowd.

Ingelson: I’m through with it all. I’m sick to death of you people putting all your expectations and hopes on my shoulders because you know I’m the only one strong enough to stand up for what I believe in. Unlike you hypocrites I don’t sit around talking about principles, I practice them.

Again he is momentarily silenced by the outrage of the people.

Alex: Believe it or not I did what I knew was right at the Overbooked Extravaganza. Because just like every person seated in the stands tonight, Orlando Cruze is a hypocrite.

I supported his cause, I briefly believed in him. I thought that much like myself he was a noble, honorable individual standing up for the sanctity of this company. Unfortunately he isn’t, Orlando is nothing but SELFISH. I came to his rescue time and time again only for him to consistently fail to repay the favors. All of my noble intentions, all my match reversals got me nothing but repeated beat downs and misery.

But while I suffered Orlando blossomed with a World Championship he never would have had without me. Did I ever once receive a proper thank you or some reimbursement for my sacrifices? No! Instead I was left in the lurch and forced to defend myself without Cruze’s aid. Orlando gave me nothing!

He swipes his hands through the air to emphasize his statement.

Alex: I drank the Cruze cool-aid only to learn that it was spiked with POISON! But I’ll tell you who does practice reciprocity, who does reward those who take a stand, THE CONSPIRACY.

Merely mentioning them brings a smile to Billy’s face and causes the crowd to almost wretch.

Ingelson: They showed me the error of my ways. They showed me that supporting Orlando Cruze as well as all my good intentions and noble acts were getting me nowhere. And then I finally UNDERSTOOD what needed to be done, that I had to rectify my past mistakes and make sure a SELFISH hypocrite and a quitter like Orlando Cruze didn’t hold onto the World Championship.

Mark: Oh blow it out your ass Ingelson.

Moore: That sounds painful.

An excited Ingelson now motions towards the curtains.

Ingelson: And that brings me to an individual who truly is honorable. A man who has no fear of what the fans think, someone who stands behind the words that he preaches, instead of letting others fight his battles for him. I’m talking about the NEEEWWW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, CHRISTIAN SAVIOR!!

A piercing roar is heard throughout the Manhattan Center as the crowd feels like jumping over the barricade at the sounds of Savior’s entrance music.

Mark: And here I thought this opening segment couldn’t get any worse.

Moore: I can show you my eleven toes.

Comeau: I spoke way too soon.

The crowd is truly vindictive as through the curtains emerges the holder of the World and N.H.B Championship belts, Christian Savior. The Rising Phoenix smugly waltzes to the stage decked out in gold from shoulder to shoulder. He briefly kicks his radiant hair back and makes his way down the ramp to the frustration of the gathered masses.

The double Champion then rolls under the ropes and hops to the turnbuckle, lifting the World title belt up high in an Orlando-esque pose. After chuckling over the fans’ display he drops back into the ring and steps towards Ingelson. Alex graciously hands him the microphone and at the same time gives him a high five.

Mark: This is sick.

Susie: Sorry, I forgot to clean the fungus out of there.

Comeau: I’m not talking about your damn eleventh toe!

Savior turns his attention back to the slighted fans.

Christian Savior: Thank you Ingelson for those truly heart felt and inspirational words, if I could cry I would surely be in tears right now. I’d be sobbing not only because of your moving anti-Orlando speech but because the man who got me here is unable to be at my side on this special night.

Christian motions towards the vacant space beside him.

Christian: I’m talking about the incomparable Dan Douglas.

Some of the fans try to throw trash into the ring just like they did at the Overbooked Extravaganza.

Savior: Dan couldn’t here tonight due to injuries he sustained at the hands of that hypocritical SAVAGE Orlando Cruze. But I guess fate has a way of balancing things out, because Orlando is at home throwing a hissy fit and won’t be here tonight either.

Christian can’t help but to smirk as he hears the fans astonishment.

Christian: But do not fear oh cowardly masses, because tonight the NEEWWW World Champion isn’t going anywhere and will be in control of Riot!

Mark: HOLD THE PHONE!

Moore: What!?! I was only text messaging.

Savior seems to sustain himself on the boos from the crowd as he smiles from ear to ear.

Savior: And I promise to make Douglas proud of me not only as interim President but as the NEEEWWW World Champion. Because unlike previous title holders I’m not controlled by the whims and desires of you people. Sure you may put money in my pocket but I’m not going to be your dancing cabana boy like Orlando, mostly because I look horrible in the mandatory thongs.

Christian Savior is going to do things the way that Christian Savior wants to do them. The only voice I follow is my own and the sooner you people deal with that, the sooner we can all be happy.

His smugness and confidence repulses the viewers.

Christian: As you’ll learn there are a number of traits that set me apart from previous, less deserving champions *cough*Cruze*cough*. For one I happen to have a stunning head of hair and am not in serious need of a Rogaine treatment. Secondly I’m far more manipulative, much more conniving, and much more diabolical than any previous champion, and at least I’m HONEST about it.

Some of the fans are actually leaving as Savior’s self serving rant continues.

Savior: I’m not going to stand here and lie to you like Orlando.

Ingelson claps.

Christian: I may be a bastard but I’m an HONEST bastard. So I’ll tell you the truth, I don’t care about doing things the “honorable way.” I’m not going to be the champion who foolishly defends the belt every week against the greatest of odds.

I’m not going to be the hero you people believe Orlando to be. I’m going to rake eyes, I’m going to throw low blows, I’m going to cheat behind the referee’s back every chance I get, because I’d much rather be champion then spend my life worrying what you people think of me.

A resoundingly negative response is heard while Alex proudly claps for Christian yet again.

Savior: You people are going to be in for a lot of surprises throughout my title reign and throughout tonight. Because as the interim president I plan on shaking things up, especially when it comes to tonight’s main event. If you people came to see an N.H.B title match between myself and Wheeler then your going to be disappointed and I’m not going to pretend I care.

Mark: What is he rambling about?

Moore: Nachos?

Christian: Instead of seeing Wheeler and I tear each other apart you’ll witness the truly magnanimous Savior mend our broken relationship. That’s right, I’m promising that right here tonight on Riot! the brothers will be reunited as the Black Cat comes home to the Conspiracy.

Savior carelessly drops the microphone to the canvas as the double champion starts towards the ropes. The cables are held open by Ingelson so that Christian can easily pass through them.

Comeau: Well we got our answers from Ingelson and a declaration from the New Champion Christian Savior. There’s no way Jason Wheeler is really going to join the Conspiracy though tonight, right?

Moore: Why are you asking me? All I know about Wheeler is that he’s another cuddly kitty, just like Hellkat.

Mark: Yeah, sure. Questions abound here tonight on Riot! as Christian Savior has taken the reigns of the show. Will Orlando Cruze show up, and will Wheeler align himself with the new Champion?

A confident Savior and a limey Ingelson make their way up the ramp amongst sordid boos from the crowd. Obviously both men have sinister intentions for the rest of the evening.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

IWC….At least there aren’t any dance offs

HELLKAT VS. PAT EVANS

The sorrowful sounds of a musicbox fill the arena as the image of a tiny plastic ballerina can be seen slowly spinning on the Jumbotron. Flames can be seen licking over the wooden box, which begins to blacken and scortch. The ballerina slowly melting as she dances.

The final tone of the music box echoes as the charred figure ceases spinning and begins to burn.

Fragment of twilight
Trace of existence
Find the connection
Inside my dream
Heart of illusion
Ancestral wisdom
Mystical fusion, pure energy

Pyro explodes with near-deafening intensity on the entry ramp as Dreamquest's "Energy" blasts over the PA. The demonic Hellkat walks out onto the entry ramp, a grin on her fanged face as a gaggle of Loons follow her out wearing hooded sweatshirts. They carry with them an assortment of water bottles, buckets and towels, serving as Hellkat’s ring crew.

Hellkat runs down to the ring and slides in, the loons stopping beside the squared circle. Hellkat quickly jumps up onto a turnbuckle, raising one fist in the air while making the throat cutting sign with her other hand.

Comeau: Welcome back to Riot! and now that we’ve got all that talking out of the way it’s time to get to some action. Hellkat coming out here flanked by her Loons ring crew, but conspicuous by his absence is Desolation.

Moore: He’s probably stuck at the airport being stripped searched. I can’t tell you how many times that’s happened to me, sometimes when I’m not even getting on a plane.

Mark: Interesting, but just as intriguing is Hellkat’s current winning streak, but will it continue against the red hot Conspiracy?

Hellkat motions towards her Loons ring crew, telling them to get into position while “Outsider” blares over the PA system. Almost immediately the curtains part and the holder of Submission gold Pat Evans emerges from the back. He stomps onto the stage, his unsettling eyes scanning the booing fans before a slight smirk forms on his face. A bandage is placed over his forehead thanks to that attack at the hands of Orlando Cruze at the Overbooked Extravaganza. He doesn’t allow any of his injuries to slow him down however as he marches straight towards the ring and rolls in under the ropes.

Comeau: Evans wearing a few battle scars after the Overbooked Extravaganza but he is showing no fear of Hellkat. Evans is coming off a big win at the PPV over an individual who is no stranger to Hellkat’s husband, Hurse. Let’s see if he can ride that momentum to victory here tonight.

Moore: Hellkat is way different than Hurse. For one she’s got whiskers, and secondly I like Hellkat.

“The Submission Champion” Pat Evans proudly lords his championship over Hellkat, tapping its sparkling surface repeatedly as the vicious kitty prepares for action. She lifts her leg into the air, placing it over the top rope and then shouting for Naked Ned, who jumps to the apron. He squirts some water into her mouth and then begins to stretch out her calf muscle with his hands.

Comeau: Apparently Hellkat getting her muscles stretched by the Loons. She’s so apathetic about this match she won’t even stretch her own muscles.

Moore: That’s upper apathetic. What does apathetic mean again? Is it a type of fruit?

Ron Raeth has climbed up onto the apron as well chopping both of Hellkat’s shoulders to limber them up a bit. She finally turns looking for a place to spit her water but being unable to find one. Therefore Ned lifts his cupped hands, allowing Hellkat to spit the water into his palms.

As soon as she does this Evans rushes across the ring and lunges down at her leg, snatching hold of the ankle. It’s apparent that Evans has had enough as he drags Hellkat to the center of the ring, lifting her leg into the ankle lock. Hellkat grits her teeth and closes her eyes tightly from the pain, the fans shocked that she’s been placed in the ankle lock right at the start of this contest.

Mark: Hellkat already trapped in the ankle lock and we’re not even three seconds into this match.

Susie: What was the point of all that stretching!?!

Although she already finds herself in overwhelming agony, Hellkat ducks her head and falls into a forward roll. This launches Evans forward across the ring straight at Ned and Raeth standing on the apron. Ned sprays some water, FROM HIS BOTTLE, into Evans’ face, causing him to become momentarily blinded. That’s when Raeth throws a white towel over his face, further impairing Evans’ vision.

He now spins around into Hellkat who stands on top of her head then nips to her feet and launches herself into a spinning heel kick. Both of her heels land to Evans’ chest, knocking him to the canvas.

Comeau: What a big move from Hellkat avenging that ankle lock from earlier. Of course she had some help from her ring crew.

Moore: I want my own posse, but I already have a huge one.

Mark: You do know that a posse is a gang right?

Susie: Ohhhh…I thought it meant.

Comeau: Don’t EXPLAIN.

Hellkat rolls across the ring to her feet as the Loons drop off the apron and watch from the safety of ringside. Evans is snatching the towel off of his face and throwing it to the ground before standing up and turning towards Hellkat. She immediately snatches hold of his arm, swinging under it into an arm ringer.

She tugs down on it and forces Evans to drop to his knees as Hellkat steps over his bicep, straddling it. She jumps into the air and slams her bottom into the muscle, causing Evans to growl in pain. The tattooed kitty lifts her elbow into the air and drives it down into the back of Pat’s bicep now.

Mark: Hellkat immediately going to work on the arm.

Susie: Oh that sucks for Evans, now he won’t be able to hold bread.

Comeau: Um yeah, I’m sure that’s his first concern.

Hellkat now grabs Pat’s arm and pulls it around behind his back, establishing a hammerlock. That’s when she takes him around the neck, applying the dragon sleeper as well. This causes Evans to grow even more volatile, not liking the fact that he’s being technically outwrestled.

He bridges his way back up to his feet as Hellkat breaks the dragon sleeper and pushes him forward, retaining her grasp on his wrist. Evans spins around and Hellkat steps towards him, folding his arm over backwards into the top wrist lock.

Mark: Another hold accurately targeting Evans’ arm.

Pat swings his body and almost performs a standing switch by twisting around behind Hellkat and taking her around the waist. He snaps over backwards right into the bridging German suplex.

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Hellkat launches her shoulder from the ring, kicking out and falling over onto her knees. The aggressive Evans spins around and lunges forward wrapping his arm around Hellkat’s neck, placing her in a front chancery. He also hooks one of the arm to keep her from being able to employ it to escape this hold.

The blood is being drained from Hellkat’s head while on the outside of the ring the Loons are blowing through the ropes, trying to fan off their courageous friend. The noxious odors produced by their breath seems to rejuvenate Hellkat as she rises to her feet and sticks her leg out, hooking it around behind Pat’s.

She now pushes her body into Pat’s gut, causing him to trip over her leg. He keeps hold of the front chancery as Hellkat flips forward into a version of the bridging pin.

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Evans rolls over to his side and keeps the front chancery locked in. He rolls himself and Hellkat right back to their feet then hooks her leg and snaps back into a bridging fisherman suplex.

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Hellkat launches her shoulder from the ring, rolling to her side with Evans still holding onto the front chancery.

Comeau: Evans continuing to maintain that front chancery and doing a very good job of keeping Hellkat grounded.

Moore: Ohhh, come on kitty, get up, get up. Do you have one of those mouse squeaky toys; maybe it will motivate her.

The nimble Hellkat starts to stand up, forcing Evans to his feet as he keeps that front chancery locked in. At that very second Hellkat grabs the back of Pat’s legs and pulls them out from under him. Evans falls to his back with Hellkat landing on top of him in a jackknife cover this time.

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Evans sits up and sends Hellkat rolling over backwards to her feet, where she immediately charges forward for a buzzsaw kick to his face. Pat falls to his back and avoids such a strike only to discover that Hellkat is standing at his side with her back to him, allowing her to seamlessly perform a standing moonsault.

She gets tremendous height before crashing down right on top of Pat and hooking his leg.

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Evans launches his shoulder from the ring, the Submission Champion just kicking out. He rolls to his elbows and knees only for Hellkat to grab his banged up arm, folding it up behind him into the hammerlock yet again.

Mark: After a sensational standing moonsault Hellkat goes right back to work on that damaged arm.

Susie: She must really have something against Pat pleasuring himself, unless he’s left handed, then everything in fine.

The resilient Evans will not remain grounded as he forces himself up to his feet and Hellkat changes the hold quickly into an arm lock by spinning under his bicep. She pushes down on his shoulder and stretches his arm out to his side with the Loons cheering Hellkat on from ringside.

The pain coursing through Evans’ arm causes his knees to buckle, falling to them and gritting his teeth. To his dismay Hellkat steps over his arm and then falls forward, clamping her legs around Evans’ bicep. He is flipped over sideways to his back with Hellkat landing beside him and trying to lock in an arm grapevine with her legs.

To the shock of many Pat is blocking it, holding up on one of Hellkat’s ankles and keeping it from locking with her other. The Submission Champion shoves her foot up into the air and then frees his other arm, wrapping his hands around her ankle and then rolling in reverse to his feet. He lifts up on Hellkat’s leg yet again looking for the ankle lock.

Mark: And now Evans going right back to the ankle.

Susie: But how will Hellkat climb trees for safety?

Hellkat suddenly rolls to her back, wedging her feet to Pat’s sternum and shoving him backwards into the cables. He falls through them onto the apron, holding onto the ropes as he drags himself to his feet. Hellkat rolls backwards to her feet then rushes forward, lunging her upper half through the ropes for a spear.

Shockingly Evans sidestepped her at the last second and now rushes forward delivering a sickening knee strike right to her prone face. The impact causes Hellkat to stand upright, turning around in a dazed state so that her back is pressed to the ropes. From the apron Evans jumps into the air catching Hellkat around the neck and pulling her down into a reverse neckbreaker against the top rope.

Mark: OHHH! What a neckbreaker by Evans that had to inflict some significant damage to Hellkat’s neck.

Susie: I hope no canines come around while Hellkat is in this weakened condition. But thankfully I bought one of those silent whistles to keep them distracted.

Comeau: Susie, that’s a kazoo.

A stunned Hellkat has fallen to her elbows and knees, crawling across the canvas and gripping at the back of her neck. All the while the loons are trying to fan her off with towels from the outside of the ring. Their attempts to revive her prove futile as Evans rushes into the ring and drops down to her side, locking her in a side headlock submission.

His thick, strong arms squeeze at Hellkat’s neck, twisting and ripping at it. She gets to her knees, clubbing Evans over the back repeatedly while trying to free herself. An intense Evans provides further pressure on the hold as Hellkat gets all the way to her feet beside him.

Suddenly she turns her head and begins to bite Evans’ nearby nipple. Pat’s face goes white from the pain as Hellkat continues to gnaw at his nipple.

Mark: Hellkat biting at Pat’s nipple.

Susie: She must have reverted back to her kitten days. That’s not your mother Hellkat, your not going to find any milk or a free bath!

Pat finally breaks the side headlock, reaching through his shirt for possibly his bleeding nipple. That’s when Hellkat goes into a headstand behind him, her legs falling on top of his shoulders then wrapping them around his neck. She pushes herself up into the air into a seated position on Pat’s shoulders.

Evans wedges his hands to the back of her thighs though, shoving her up and over his head. Hellkat lands on her feet in front of him then drops into a backwards roll, Pat bending down and catching her against the ribs as she goes into a headstand.

He lifts her up out of the headstand position on top of his shoulder then runs forward and connects with a hard powerslam. Hellkat is driven with great force into the canvas while Evans hooks her legs.

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Hellkat launches her shoulder from the ring, avoiding the three count.

Mark: Two head scissor attempts avoided by Evans.

Moore: She’ll land back on her feet in no time. HAHAHAHA.

Mark: These feline insinuations have kind of ran their course.

Evans pushes Hellkat onto her stomach and then steps over her back, pulling her neck up into a dragon sleeper, camel clutch combination. Sweat rolls down Helkat’s face as she slams the side of her fist against the canvas, trying to escape the hold of the Submission Champion.

The ravenous Evans inflicts further suffrage on Hellkat as he fish hooks the side of her mouth and her nostrils. He pulls back on them both as the official starts a five count.

He reaches four before Evans breaks the illegal submissions and Hellkat slips backwards through his legs. She stands up behind him and delivers a front dropkick right to the bum of the Submission title holder. The shot sends him reeling forward before Evans twists and tumbles through the ropes onto the apron.

The stunned Pat starts to stand up on the apron standing behind the cables when Hellkat rushes into the perpendicular ropes, springing off of the middle one. She flies over the ropes Evans is on the opposite side of and twists into a shoulder block. It connects and knocks Pat to his back across the apron, Hellkat landing on her feet beside him.

Susie: See, she landed on her feet. Now come over here Hellkitty so I can give you a new flea collar.

Mark: Hellkat so, so agile and that move was just another example of it.

The Submission Champion agonizing starts to pull himself up to his feet on the apron while Hellkat climbs up behind him. She rushes right up behind Evans who turns with his back to the turnbuckle, bending forward and catching her against his shoulder. He stands up and tries to back drop Hellkat into the corner only for her to go into a headstand on top of the turnbuckle.

Pat has no idea this is happening behind his back before Hellkat comes down behind him, catching his neck and dragging him down into a DDT head first into the apron.

Comeau: OHHH! Another spectacular move from Hellkat, who has not missed a beat since her return to the ring.

Susie: I wonder what she did while on vacation. Probably got frisky with Desolation’s legs.

A dazed, incoherent Evans is pushed off of the apron and back into the ring by Hellkat. She now climbs back up onto the apron beside him as Pat starts to stand up on the opposite side of the ropes. He looks to be dead on his feet as Hellkat delivers a back hand to his face over the top rope.

The hard slap sends Evans into a spin, grabbing at his jaw in pain. That’s when Hellkat grabs the top rope and pulls herself over, flying straight at Pat who turns in time to catch her on top of his shoulders. He now throws her up into the air from a fireman’s carry position and drops to his back, connecting with a lung blower as Hellkat falls ribs first onto his raised knees.

Evans rolls backwards onto his feet and then charges at a dazed, still upright Hellkat, taking her down with a brutal running STO.

Mark: A very nice combination by Evans, surprisingly coming back after that vicious DDT on the apron.

A flustered Evans crawls into the lateral press, burying his forearm against Hellkat’s face.

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Hellkat powers her shoulder from the ring. This prompts Evans to push her over to her knees and then take her around the neck, applying another side headlock.

It’s apparent now that Pat’s strategy is to dissect the neck as he drops to his seat at Hellkat’s side. His arms tweak and twist at Hellkat’s neck as she lifts one of her hands into the air, flailing it around. She balls up her fingers into a fist and slams it against the canvas to motivate herself.

All the while the Loons are shouting encouraging Micky-esque phrases at Hellkat, who tries to twist her body free from the hold. She turns onto her side as Evans sits up, continuing to exert pressure on the hold. Both competitors reach their feet after much exertion when Hellkat delivers an elbow into Pat’s rib, then does it again.

These shots begin to weaken Evans’ hold before another elbow causes him to release the side headlock entirely. Hellkat now starts to rush into the ropes in front of him when she’s caught by the hair and dragged into a dragon sleeper. That’s before Pat falls to a knee and drags Hellkat down into a reverse DDT right across his raised kneecap.

The impact inflicts who knows how much damage as Hellkat sits up reaching for her neck.

Mark: What a nasty neckbreaker variation.

Moore: GUNG HO!

Evans immediately scoots up behind the seated Hellkat and establishes a rear naked choke. He pulls back on her chin and twists her head at a very disgusting angle, causing her tremendous grief. Despite all of that she starts to stand up, Evans continuing to twist and rip at her head with all of the strength of his upper body.

They reach their feet with Evans still clamping on tightly with the rear naked choke. It’s obvious that Hellkat is mere seconds from escaping this hold when Pat turns his back to her and drops to his side, pulling her down into another modified reverse neckbreaker right across his ribs.

The Orton like neckbreaker causes Hellkat to writhe as she falls to the canvas and rolls across it. Pat turns and crawls into the lateral press this time hooking her leg.

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Hellkat launches her shoulder from the ring, avoiding the three count.

Comeau: Another neckbreaker, Hellkat’s head has to be in bad shape.

Susie: Just like George Lucas and his man titties.

Evans steps towards the possibly injury plagued Hellkat, stomping her to the chest and knocking her to her back. Repeated stomps are delivered all over Hellkat’s anatomy before she is rolled to her feet and whipped into the corner. She turns and crashes against the corner spine first before Pat barrels forward, jumping into the air to deliver a knee strike.

Hellkat clears out of the way and Evans hits the corner hard knees first. A groan of anguish emits from Evans as he kneels on the corner, unaware that Hellkat is springing to the second rope beside him. She twists around and dropkicks Pat right to his upper back, sending him flipping over the top rope.

Pat flips over and crashes to the outside mats with great force, causing him to arch his back in pain. He slowly begins to stand up when a recovering Hellkat baseball slides under the ropes and interlocks her legs around Evans’ neck. She now drops down into a head scissors, that flips Evans crashing across the mats.

Mark: Hellkat finally answering back with some innovative offense.

Susie: GO KITTY GO!

Hellkat stands up just as Evans does the same, delivering a back heel kick to his ribs then rolling him into the ring under the ropes. She slides in herself and charges in with a front dropkick right to the side of Pat’s skull. He rolls onto his back while Hellkat forces herself upright and takes him by the hair.

He is rolled to his knees when Hellkat delivers a roundhouse kick right to the side of his skull. The stiff impact kick misses it’s mark as Evans ducks out of the way then stands up behind her, hooking the tattooed kitty’s arm. He hoists her into the air for the Spinal Tap when Hellkat slips free at the last second, transitioning around and landing right behind the Submission title holder.

Hellkat takes him around the neck and the head, setting up for the Darkest Hour (Modified Overhead Clutch Suplex).

Mark: The Darkest Hour set up by Hellkat after a quick reversal from the Spinal Tap position.

Moore: She’s so feisty.

Hellkat begins to lift when Pat hooks his leg around hers, trying to prevent being driven into the canvas. Somehow he is able to perform a standing switch, stepping behind Hellkat and raking both of her eyes. Hellkat doubles over gripping at her eyes when Pat hooks her arm and hoists her into the air with the Spinal Tap.

Her back is bent awkwardly over his knee as she flips over and lands on the canvas. Pat pushes Hellkat over onto her damaged spine and hooks her legs.

Mark: Spinal Tap, Spinal Tap connected with. Evans might have the victory over the former World Champion.

Susie: No, no, no, no that’s it, I’m taking back that new flea collar.

The crowd is screaming as the official makes the count, wondering if Hellkat will suffer her first loss since returning.

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To the shock of the gathered masses Hellkat launches her shoulder from the ring.

Comeau: And Hellkat defiantly kicks out yet again.

A shocked and angered Evans rises to his feet and cuts his arms through the air as he begins to approach one of the turnbuckles.

Mark: It looks like Pat is going high risk. We almost never see this from Evans.

Moore: And I don’t like to see Evans period because of his bi-yearly showers.

The official stoops over Hellkat who grabs him by the shirt, desperately trying to pull herself up. The referee tries to rip his shirt free from her clutches but she’s got her nails dug deeply into the fibers. He’s unable to see one of the loons rolling into the ring in front of Evans.

Before Pat can react the hooded Loon boots him to the ribs, doubling him over where he’s placed in a stunner position. The Loon rushes at the turnbuckle with his hood still hanging over his face as he steps up the ropes and flips over backwards into the Disinfectant (Contra Code).

Susie: I think that Loon overstepped his ring crew duties.

Mark: A Look just randomly entered the ring and gave Evans a contra code. Wait a second…

The Loon rises to his feet and pulls back his hood to reveal himself as Hurse. The crowd has a loud mixed reaction at the sight of the Master of Control as he quickly vacates the ring. Hellkat finally releases the official and crawls across the ring towards the laid out Evans, dropping down into the lateral press on top of him.

Mark: Hellkat now conveniently letting go of the ref and going for the pin.

Moore: It must be those extra Hellkat senses.

Hellkat has both legs hooked as the official makes the count.

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A very loud mixed reception is heard from the sold out crowd as Hellkat again is victorious.

Comeau: And Hellkat emerges from another grueling encounter the victor.

Moore: Yay, now she can have the flea collar and these little footies I knitted for her paws.

Mark: Why do they have a K-Mart tag stuck to them?

The fans continue to express their mixed emotions relating to this victory as Hellkat stands, lifting an arm up high in triumph. All the while Hurse claps for the vicious kitty at ringside.

Mark: Hellkat’s winning streak continues, but how much longer can she keep pulling out these victories?

Moore: She has nine lives Mark, so I’m guessing a while.

FINDING HODGES

A sweaty, exasperated Hellkat climbs up on one of the turnbuckles, lifting her arm up in victory yet again. The Loons continue to cheer for her from ringside while Hurse slips back into the squared circle. Evans has rolled to the outside, crashing to the mats right as the Master of Control entered. He requests a microphone as one is bestowed upon him by Kailey Worf.

Mark: Not only did we just endure a blatant outside interference from Hurse, but now he’s apparently got something to say.

Moore: It better be something about the Iron Man DVD. I love Robert Downy Jr. but I hate Tobey McQuire.

The confused Hellkat looks over her shoulder down from the corner as Hurse claps his hands around the microphone then lifts it to his lips.

Hurse: Congratulations Hellkat...no, no, no, there’s no need to thank me.

He puts his palm up and shakes his head, acting as if his actions were strictly noble. All the while Hellkat shrugs her shoulders, having had no intention of thanking him whatsoever.

Hurse: When your with the Alpha Generation your entitled to these little perks.

Hellkat’s confusion is compounded by the insinuation that she’s with the Alpha Generation. Her finger also motions towards Hurse’s lower extremities before the former Champion quickly shakes his head.

Hurse: No, NO! Little perks, not little pricks.

Hellkat eyes him speculatively.

Hurse: Anyway, although you owe me nothing I realize how gracious you are and prone to repaying people for their kindness. So instead of rewarding my bravery here tonight with some type of elaborate fruit basket, I like oranges by the way, I decided to let you in on the Alpha Generation’s hunt for Matt Hodges. What do you say Hellkat, are you gonna to help the AG send Hodges packing back to that cess pool known as SCW?

He extends his palm, fully expecting a handshake to be reciprocated. A perplexed Hellkat drops down from the turnbuckle and slowly approaches the AG rep, looking down into his palm then into his eyes. She boldly snatches the microphone right out of his hand and lifts it to his lips.

Hellkat: So you expect me to drop everything I’m doing and go traipsing off after that guy with the HUGE Frankenstein forehead?

A smiling Hurse nods eagerly.

Hellkat: Well just like Kloe tells Orlando in bed, I’m sorely disappointed. I’m not going to help you find that shaved simian, I have IMPORTANT things to do. IE meeting with the lawyer who handles Craven’s paternity lawsuits so I can sue Johnny Kingdom.

Concern settles into Hurse as he looks down at Hellkat’s stomach, motioning towards it.

Hellkat: Not because Kingdom got me pregnant, sure the top of his head might look like a provalactive but it’s not getting anywhere near my body. I’m suing him for an entirely different reason. So if you REALLY need to find me or my husband we’ll be in the Fully Loaded lockeroom.

The mic is thrust into Hurse’s sternum as his saddened, shocked eyes watch Hellkat vacate the ring. She slips through the ropes and starts up the ramp without even looking back.

Comeau: Apparently Hellkat leaving Hurse on his own to find Matt Hodges because she’s got some kind of lawsuit pending.

Moore: I hope Hellkat is suing for a bigger women’s bathroom. Every time I use it I have brooms falling on me, and I have to go in a bucket.

Mark: That’s the janitor’s closest Susie.

Hurse continues to look dismayed as his ace in the hole, Hellkat marches backstage to continue preparations for her lawsuit against Johnny Kingdom.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

IWC….At least there’s no dodgeball

THE SEARCH CONTINUES

Comeau: Would you PLEASE get out from under our announce table!?!

The show returns live to the Manhattan Center as Hurse climbs out from under the commentator’s table. His eyes urgently and frantically dash back and forth, in a mad search.

Hurse: I know Hodges is hiding around here somewhere! I know he’s in this building!

Hurse’s paranoid eyes have focused on a paranoid Comeau.

Mark: Honestly, why would Matt Hodges being hiding under our table?

Susie: You know, I really wish I hadn’t wore this mini-skirt, and that I had wore a pear of underpants.

Before he can hear the rest of Mark’s wise statements, Hurse looks over the barricade into the crowd, making sure Hodges isn’t lurking there. A devious smirk forms on Hurse’s face when he looks up at a fan with a big beard and a top hat on.

Hurse: AH-HA!

Without delay Hurse knocks the hat off of the older gentleman, who looks puzzled by this behavior.

Hurse: Who do you think you’re fooling with that ZZ Top disguise Hodges!?!

Hurse grabs the beard and begins to tug on it as hard as he can, only to learn that it is indeed attached to the older fan’s face and that it isn’t part of some elaborate disguise. The Master of Control cringes once he discovers this.

Comeau: As you can see ladies and gentlemen, Hurse has been out here during the commercial break searching for IWC’s newest acquisition Matt Hodges.

Moore: Maybe Matt is wearing octocammo and that’s why we can’t see him.

Although his search has proven fruitless Hurse will not be demoralized or deterred. He now approaches the ring, rubbing at his jaw and wagging his finger.

Hurse: Ah yes. The classic hiding under the ring bit. I’m onto you senior Hodges.

The former World Champion now grabs the tarp hanging from the ring and with a fist clinched lifts it into the air. Hurse quickly looks under the ring when a spray of green mist hits him right in the eyes.

Comeau: Something or someone just shot a spray of mist right in Hurse’s eyes!

Moore: Oh boy, it’s got to be Hornswaggle.

Hurse is acting like he was just hit in the face with sulfuric acid as he rushes around swiping at his eyes and screaming in pain. That’s when to a surprisingly loud ovation, Porno Lad crawls out from under the ring, his lips dripping with green residue. He turns towards the camera and winks.

Comeau: HEY, it’s Porno Lad. He’s the one who caught Hurse in the eyes with the mist.

Susie: Yay, that gives me an excuse to keep saying Porno….te-he, I’m so dirty.

PORNO LAD VS. HURSE

Referee Fitzpatrick charges from the back while Hurse continues to stagger around the outside mats, screaming, swiping at his eyes and throwing wild punches at imaginary figures. Porno Lad sneaks up behind him and pinches his bottom, causing Hurse to jump into the air with a yelp.

Comeau: Porno Lad got the drop on Hurse and now it looks like we’re going to see the scheduled match between them start right now.

Susie: But Hurse is blinder than those mice in that children’s song that always gave me nightmares. That and “Pop Goes the Weasel,” that’s just SICK!

Porno Lad steps back with a confident smile on his face when Hurse turns and throws a jab at his face but completely misses him. The slender Porno takes slips behind Hurse and then delivers a swift kick to his posterior. Again Hurse lunges forward grabbing at his cheeks and becoming infuriated.

In his blind state he turns around and throws another punch that Porno Lad easily avoids. The prankster now backs up as Hurse continues to lob crazed jabs in all different directions, desperately trying to find the whereabouts of his opponent.

Porno Lad watches with a grin on his face as Hurse finds himself squinting, some of his vision returning. A broad smile now forms on the Alpha Generation member’s face.

Hurse: Now I’ve got you, you little shit.

The confident Hurse lobs a punch at what he believes to be Porno Lad, only for his knuckles to almost shatter as they connect with the exposed turnbuckle post. Hurse turns away from the post screaming while doubling over his hand.

Hurse: Jesus Christ, he’s got an iron jaw!

Porno Lad finally steps forward and delivers a hard kick right to Hurse’s sternum. The shot causes him to stand upright before the prankster turns him around and rolls him into the ring.

Comeau: The action finally entering the squared circle with Hurse still blinded by that green mist.

Susie: He’s as blind as Rutger Hauer in Blind Fury. Quick, someone throw him a sword!

Porno Lad rises to the apron and leans forearms first against the top rope, watching as his opponent stands up kicking and punching at the air. Hurse still has no idea what is going on even as referee Fitzpatrick approaches him to check on his eye sight.

That’s when Hurse grabs Fitzpatrick and pulls him down into a small package.

Mark: Hurse now pinning the referee.

Fitzpatrick kicks out, rising to his feet and immediately trying to explain that he is not Porno Lad. However, Hurse doesn’t listen and with his impaired vision grabs the back of the referee’s pants, pulling him down into a school boy. Porno Lad now enters the ring, dropping down and making the three count.

1

2

Fitzpatrick kicks out yet again to cheers and laughter from the crowd. All the while Porno Lad hops to his feet and in a very serious manner informs the crowd that it was just a two count.

An angered Hurse now stands up and grabs a shocked Fitzpatrick by the shirt, pulling back his fist. That’s when Fitzpatrick unleashes a feminine squeal that causes the Master of Control to hesitate. He slowly reaches out with his palm and begins to feel Fitzpatrick’s facial hair, trying to decipher his identity that way.

Eventually his hands move down to the rotund gut of Fitzpatrick, causing Hurse to smile and begin laughing.

Hurse: Hahaha, your not Porno Lad, your just a little fat ass aren’t you?

An angered Fitzpatrick now shoves Hurse backwards into Porno Lad, who had dropped to a crawling position behind his opponent. As a result Hurse trips over Porno Lad and lands on his back, his crafty opponent turning and going for the pin. He wedges his shoulders to the back of Hurse’s thighs as Fitzpatrick makes the count.

1

2

Hurse kicks out just in the nick of time, getting his shoulder up.

Moore: Is it legal for the referee to assist in a pinfall?

Comeau: You can’t put anything past the referees in the IWC.

The blinded Hurse stands up and charges forward at the vague outline of a human body that he can see. This prompts Porno Lad to lunge into the air, smacking him in the face with a hard heel kick. The shot knocks Hurse down to the canvas, reaching for his nose and rolling around on the ring in pain.

He gets to a crawling base when Porno Lad sits down on his back and begins to smack him in the posterior repeatedly, like he were some kind of horse. Hurse immediately begins to crawl around the ring as he’s slapped to the bum over and over again, Porno Lad riding on top of his back.

Comeau: Now Hurse is being rode like a horse.

Moore: I’ve had that happen to me a lot, I even own a saddle.

Finally Porno Lad steps off of Hurse’s back as his opponent grabs hold of the ropes tightly, hoping they will be his salvation. The crowd is laughing as the king of pranksters steps back with a wide smile across his unabashed face. Hurse rises to his knees rubbing at his posterior.

Hurse: Leave my ass alone!

Hurse stands up now and unleashes a primal roar before charging towards Porno Lad. That’s when his quick opponent sidesteps him and sticks out his foot, tripping Hurse over it. The Alpha Gen member tumbles to his elbows and knees while Porno Lad jumps over his back, pulling him around into the Oklahoma Roll.

1

2

Hurse kicks out in his stunned state while Porno Lad rolls under the ropes to the outside of the ring. This leaves Hurse confused on the inside as he stands up and turns in circles throwing repeated kicks in all different directions.

From under the ring Porno Lad has now retrieved a fully inflated female blow up doll, which he slides into the ring.

Mark: What is Porno Lad inserting into this match now?

Susie: That’s a rubber inflatable sex toy. I own many of them, because I like to set them up and have a tea party with them.

Porno Lad lifts the inflated woman into the air and carries it near Hurse as one of his wild kicks connect to it. The shot knocks the sex toy down to the canvas as a laughing Hurse jumps on top of it. He begins to punch it’s rubber face over and over again.

Hurse: You couldn’t run from me forever, you latex feeling motherfucker!

Hurse continues to proudly drive his fist into the rubber face in his blinded state before his knuckles get caught in the wide open mouth, which is met to hold other parts of the male anatomy. Hurse desperately tries to free his hand, standing up and lifting the rubber woman into the air, flailing her in every direction.

Mark: Hurse’s hand caught in that inflated sex toy’s mouth. Did I honestly just say that?

Susie: I don’t know, I wasn’t paying attention. But I can sympathize, because I’ve had things caught in my mouth before too. Damn giant jawbreakers.

Hurse tries to kick the inflated woman off of his fist.

Hurse: Do something ref, he’s cheating!

A laughing Porno Lad stands back in one of the turnbuckles, watching this and covering his mouth so his chuckles can’t be heard. The fans are still cheering as Hurse finally gets his fist out of the sex toy’s mouth and places it in a snapmare position.

Hurse: I don’t hear you laughing now Porno Lad!

On instinct alone Hurse navigates himself towards the corner, going for the Disinfectant (Contra Code) on the inflated rubber woman. As soon as he charges at one of the turnbuckles, Porno Lad slips in behind him, catching his arms and pulling him down into the backslide.

1

2

Hurse again kicks out, avoiding the three at the very last second.

Comeau: Another nearfall from Porno Lad, who almost caught Hurse yet again.

Moore: Thankfully he saved that poor woman.

Hurse stands up and begins to throw punches at Porno Lad, even though he’s still on his knees in front of him. Porno Lad now rolls backwards as Hurse finally cleans some of the green mist out of his eyes, restoring some of his sight. He spots the outline of Porno Lad’s body and begins to chase him.

Porno Lad takes off, running in circles with Hurse pursuing him around and around the ring, reaching out in an attempt to catch him by the hair. Porno Lad turns his back and wedges it against a corner as Hurse comes barreling towards him. At the last second the prankster steps out of the way and Hurse slams chest first against the corner, staggering backwards.

That’s when Porno Lad pulls himself up into that very turnbuckle and launches himself off into a dropkick right to Hurse’s battered chest. The impact knocks Hurse to the canvas with Porno Lad landing beside him. He quickly grabs the inflated sex toy, putting it on top of the Master of Control in a lateral press before urging the official to make the count.

Susie: Look, that courageous young inflated woman is about to win this match!

Comeau: I don’t think Hurse would ever be able to show his face again if this happens.

Fitzpatrick finally drops and makes the count.

1

Hurse launches his shoulder from the ring, kicking out before he could be pinned by the rubber woman.

Porno Lad looks distraught before smiling and stepping in for a superkick to the rising Hurse’s jaw. Somehow the Master of Control can feel it coming and catches the foot before it could connect with his jaw. He pushes down on it and causes Porno Lad’s back to turn towards him. Hurse wedges his shoulder to Porno Lad’s spine and lifts him into the air before driving him down viciously with the back drop suplex.

Comeau: Hurse finally getting in an offensive move that wasn’t against the referee or an inflated opponent.

Moore: Poor Porny.

An angered Hurse stands up and continues to clean the green residue out of his eyes before rushing into the ropes at the side of his laid out opponent. He springs to the middle rope and flips over backwards into the moonsault, crashing down right on top of Porno Lad. He then grabs him by the bangs and begins to deck him repeatedly to the forehead.

Hurse: Nobody makes a fool out of me!

Suddenly Porno Lad launches one of his boots into the air that connects with the back of Hurse’s head. The shot knocks him down to all fours as the crafty young competitor stands up beside him and charges forward still holding his ribs. To his dismay however, Hurse turns and snatches his legs out from under him. As a result Porno Lad falls to his back and Hurse turns him over onto his sternum, applying the Legend Lock.

Comeau: Legend Lock applied out of nowhere.

Susie: Is Porny gonna tap? He’s not even wearing the necessary shimmering tuxedo.

The crowd is screaming as Porno Lad finds himself trapped in this mangling submission hold. Hurse has got Porno Lad’s body all contorted as the young competitor tries to pull himself towards the ropes. They are too far away and his body is suffering from the effects of this submission, bringing him to the verge of tapping out.

His hand lifts into the air ready to submit before he reaches out and grabs the rubber latex woman. He sticks out the sex toy as far as it will go, using it to touch the bottom rope. Fitzpatrick steps in and informs Hurse that he has to break up the submission while the Master of Control glares at him like he’s crazy.

Hurse: This isn’t legal!

Fitzpatrick pulls Hurse off of the submission under protest from the Master of Control. Nevertheless he reaches down and grabs Porno Lad around the waist, lifting him up into a wheelbarrow German suplex. However, Porno Lad catches Hurse around the neck and drops down a bulldog. Hurse’s face slams violently into the ring, causing him to roll under the ropes to the outside.

He lands on his feet swiping his palms at his features in a rage.

Mark: Porno Lad got himself out of that submission in a very unique way, but he’s only further enraged Hurse.

Moore: Thank God for that rubber woman, she was so helpful.

Hurse continues to recover as Porno Lad exits the ring behind the official, approaching the time keeper and pulling him out of his chair. He grabs hold of the steel seat, folding it up and then entering the squared circle. Hurse climbs onto the apron as the official gets in his way, trying to convince him to restore some order to this contest.

Hurse pie faces the referee, knocking him down then slipping through the ropes. The Master of Control is fuming as he storms towards Porno Lad who throws the steel chair right to him. A confused Hurse catches it in front of his face, holding it there for several seconds with his eyes batting awkwardly.

Now Porno Lad throws himself down to the canvas back first, acting as if he’s unconscious. The referee turns and spots Hurse standing over PL with a steel chair in his hands. The referee stands up pointing at the chair as Hurse begins to shake his head, trying to hide the steel behind his back now.

Comeau: Hold on here, it looks like Porno Lad has just set up Hurse.

Moore: On what, a blind date? Get it, cause Hurse was blind? Hahahaha.

Mark: You truly are a sad, sad little girl.

The fans are laughing their asses off as Hurse throws down the chair, claiming to not have used it on Porno Lad. However the official doesn’t buy it, turning and calling for the bell to a huge reaction.

Mark: Hurse has been disqualified thanks to Porno Lad’s cheating tactics.

Susie: Yeah, Porny wins!

Hurse is stomping around in the ring in a rage, trying to plead with the ref to reverse his decision as the official assists Porno Lad to his feet. PL holds his forehead, selling the injury before winking in a fuming Hurse’s direction. The Master of Control bites his lower lip and trembles with anger before he snatches the chair off of the canvas.

He rushes straight at Porno Lad who steps out of the way and pushes Hurse along through the cables. Hurse twists around and drops to his feet on the outside mats when Porno Lad grabs the top rope, launching himself over. However, Hurse steps out of the way at the last second as the prankster slams hard stomach and sternum first across the thin protective matting.

Comeau: Porno Lad splatting across the mats violently.

Moore: If he were made of clay he wouldn’t have to worry about that. Just like Gumby he’d be able to reassemble himself.

Porno Lad rolls across the mats gripping at his ribs when Hurse steps in popping him across the jaw. He stands the light jokester up and begins to jab him across his face in an enraged condition.

Hurse: You don’t make an idiot out of me. That’s Robin’s job!

Porno Lad is severally disorientated as his furious opponent jabs him to the jaw and battles him up the ramp towards the backstage area.

Comeau: The aftermath of this contest breaking down into chaos.

Susie: How could they abandon that poor rubber woman?

The crowd is still enthralled by the brawl between Porno Lad and Hurse. The Master of Control continues to deliver blows to the disorientated Porno Lad as they now battle to the backstage area.

Mark: What an insane series of events here between Porno Lad and Hurse, we’re going to try and get a camera backstage but we got to take another commercial break.

Moore: I hope it’s an advertisement for absorbent tampons.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

IWC……Don’t mess with the Ebessen

IN THE CLOSET

The show returns to a live feed of the backstage area where Porno Lad and Hurse are still going at it. An enraged Hurse lobs fists directly into Porno Lad’s jaw, knocking him backwards through the gorilla position.

Hurse: You think you can make a fool of me!?! I’m the Master of Control you son of a bitch!

Porno Lad is shockingly not fighting back as he’s hit in the jaw with a forearm. The shot knocks him backwards into a plain white wall, sliding across it towards a closed door. Hurse boots him to the ribs and then grabs the hair of his dazed opposition, getting eye to eye with him as green mist drips off of his furious face.

Hurse: Have you learned your lesson? Have you learned that I’m beyond being pranked? Well I am! And now I’m really going to enjoy this.

Hurse swipes the mist out of his eyes and pulls back his fist to launch it into the face of his prone, defenseless opponent. That’s when the Submission title belt cracks Hurse right in the back of his head. The strike knocks him down to his knees with the holder of the gold revealing himself to be a disgruntled Pat Evans.

Pat Evans: No, I’m gonna enjoy THIS.

The twisted Evans looks up at the smirking Porno Lad.

Pat: Open the door.

That shut door Porno Lad was leaning against is now opened, revealing three figures seated inside surrounded by dozens of empty bean cans and burrito wrappers. Bob, Bitchcakes McPhee, and Jean Laffette are fighting over another can of beans and rubbing at their upset tummies.

A smirking Evans and Porno Lad turn towards Hurse who regains his senses long enough to see the three men inside the room devouring beans.

Hurse: No, God no, please no!

Evans nods as he and Porno Lad grab the back of Hurse’s head and throw him inside of the room then swing the door closed. Porno Lad quickly locks the door so that Hurse cannot get out while Evans stands back laughing. He rubs at the back of his neck after that Disinfectant he took earlier, but the anguish is secondary to the enjoyment derived from Hurse’s suffrage.

Hurse: Let me out, let me out, there are Geneva convention laws your breaking here!

Scratching noises can be heard from the opposite side of the doorway as Porno Lad and Pat back away, amused by these pleas for mercy.

Jean: Man, those beans aren’t sitting well on the chili and White Castle burgers I ate earlier.

Bitchcakes McPhee: I shouldn’t have had that bottle of beam this morning.

A loud gaseous explosion is heard from the room.

Hurse: No, NO!

Laughter is heard from Evans, Porno Lad, and the three gentlemen inside of the room.

Bob: Bob want to play musical farts!

Jean: Good idea.

Hurse: Open the door, open the door for the LOVE OF GOD!

The doorknob twists repeatedly but Hurse cannot get out of the closet, especially as Jean Laffette, Bitchcakes McPhee, and Bob begin to fart out the tune to the Facts of Life.

Hurse: NOOOOOO!!!

JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS

A loud roar overcomes the Manhattan Center at the sight of a smirking Jason Wheeler making his way through the backstage area. His nose is buried in a magazine which provides him much amusement. What he doesn’t find funny is the abrupt presence of backstage correspondent Billy Mayne.

A microphone is gripped in his hand and a very smug smile resides on his face.

Billy Mayne: I knew it!

He shakes his wagging finger at a confused Savior.

Jason Wheeler: That your IQ is lower than your paycheck? I think we all knew that Billy.

Mayne: You know what I’m talking about.

Wheeler’s eyes dash back and forth, trying to decipher Billy’s ramblings.

Wheeler: I wouldn’t dare try to pick your brain Billy, assuming one exists, so why don’t you just say what you mean?

The grin only widens, obviously Billy is amused, and it isn’t by a magazine.

Billy: I knew you were secretly part of the Conspiracy.

Such an accusation leaves Wheeler briefly stunned.

Mayne: Your brothers got on board the second they stepped through the door, so I knew it be a matter of time before you got with the program.

Jason: Whoa, whoa, whoa, did you pop a little too much Viagra Bill?

The magazine he was clutching is rolled up and smacked on top of Billy’s head.

Wheeler: Bad Billy. You should know better than to trust anything that Christian Savior says.

Mayne: Come on Jason, don’t be coy, we all know the truth. We all think Riggs and Psycho were right about you.

Even though these comments are meant to get under Wheeler’s skin he instead chuckles and lowers his head.

Wheeler: Billy, you haven’t made me laugh this hard since you were fired as commentator.

That statement strikes a nerve in the shocked Mayne.

Jason: Listen sweety, I’m going to that ring tonight not to join the Conspiracy, but to prove everyone, Psycho and Riggs included, that their wrong about the Black Cat.

Wheeler again slaps Mayne on the top of the head with the magazine, causing Billy to cower in fear.

Wheeler: Now get your head out of the gutter and put your eyes on the main event, where I take home the N.H.B Championship and put myself into World title contention.

He slaps Billy on the shoulder as the terrified, inebriated Mayne cowers yet again.

Jason: I just hope you’re not the only one watching and that I have Riggs’ attention. So BUCK UP CHUM because a new champ is about to be crowned TONIGHT!

Wheeler walks past Billy with a pep in his step, excited for the N.H.B title main event. Mayne turns and watches him leave, shaking his head with a smile on his face.

Mayne: We know the truth Jason, we know the truth.

BILLY! Long time no see.

Billy’s shoulder is engulfed by a big hand that causes him to instinctively cover his head, preparing for another shot from a magazine. The familiar voice creates great dread for Mayne as David Freak steps to his side, leaning on his shoulder.

David: Have you been hiding from me Billy? That’s not a very friendly gesture young man. Why one might almost think that your trying to avoid me.

David shakes his head with sadness while clutching a small bag under his arm.

Billy: No, no, David I…I…I..wouldn’t dream of it.

Freak: Of course you wouldn’t, especially after all those flattering comments you made about me on commentary. We really should be closer Billy, we should be best friends.

The conniving Freak grabs Billy’s far arm and pulls him in close, making Mayne incredibly uncomfortable.

Billy: Why are you molesting me?

David: Oh you funny little man you, I’m just hanging out with my best bud is all. I just wanted to reiterate what Wheeler said, you can’t believe everything you hear, like that Jamie Lee Curtis tranny story.

Mayne: I use to pleasure myself to thoughts of her.

David pauses and gives him a long awkward stare.

Freak: Disgusting. Also, as my best bud I wanted to get your opinion on this gift I got for Aurora. It’s just a little token of my affection for her, something that shows she can trust me.

Although he regrets asking it Billy cannot refrain from questioning the intrusive Freak.

Billy: What did you get her?

David: I’m glad you asked Billy. You see, nothing says TRUST better than lingerie. So I bought her these edible undershorts.

He pulls a thing of red panties out of his bag and holds it out towards Mayne. Billy takes it from his hands and begins to unfold it, revealing that they are quite huge.

Freak: Um yeah, I didn’t know Aurora’s measurements since she carries a rape whistle with her everywhere we go. But if their too big I’m sure she can use a clothes pin to hold them in place.

The panties are bigger than Billy’s head as he stretches them out in front of his face.

Mayne: I’m sure she’ll love them.

David: She had better, because if she doesn’t I’m holding you personally responsible. Now stop playing with the panties you PERVE.

The undergarment is snatched out of Billy’s hands abruptly and stuffed back in the bag.

Freak: Of course the greatest gift I could give my blushing, somewhat psychotic bride are the Tag Team titles, which she and I will be winning tonight. OH YEAH!

Freak slaps Billy on the back between his shoulder blades.

David: Catch you later super friend.

The eager David marches off after making his declaration while Billy is left standing alone awkwardly.

Mayne: Why does God hate me?

SEX & VIOLENCE
VS.
PSYCHO & RIGGS

A deep voice sounds over the loudspeakers as the following words appear on the Cartel-Tron...

SEX

&

VIOLENCE

It goes into the IWC edit of "All Nightmare Long" by Metallica as the crowd is buzzing in anticipation of who's about to emerge from the back: none other than the IWC contingent of Fully Loaded, Max Craven and Axl Evermore.

"'Cause we hunt you down without mercy, hunt you down all nightmare long!
Feel us breathe upon your face!
Feel us shift, every move we trace!
Hunt you down without mercy, hunt you down all nightmare long, yeah!
LUCK...RUNS...OUT; You crawl back IN-ah, but your
LUCK RUNS OUT-AH!!"

The crowd goes wild as the Casablanca Casanova and the Big Apple Superstar make their way to the center of the stage.

Kailey Worf: On their way to the ring...from NEW YORK CITY, at a combined weight of 466 pounds, representing Fully Loaded...Max Craven and Axl Evermore...they ARE...SEX...&...VIOLENCE!!

Evermore and Craven pump their fists and generally do guts poses at the center of the stage, riling the roaring crowd up, before determinedly heading down the ramp with a pep in their step. They slide into the ring and Axl looks around with a grin and then pushes himself up as Max rolls into a front headspring, landing on his feet. They head to adjacent corners and climb, throwing their arms out with open palms and open-mouth smiles as the crowd cheers, then they hop down and head to the center. Axl drops to one knee and thrusts his arms out as Max behind him raises his arms in an X, and as Evermore points to himself with his thumbs, pyro explosions go off in time behind them to his three thumb points. As the smoke clears, they take off their team jackets and drape them over their corner while hopping in place and throwing hands into the air while whispering strategy to each other.

Comeau: Are you ready for some tag team action Susie?

Susie: No.

Mark: Well too bad, because the Quest for the Crowns Tag Team Tournament starts right now with first round action. Here we have one of the favorites to win the whole tournament, Sex & Violence.

Moore: Yay, I like sex, but I don’t know about violence.

The Manhattan Center crowd is still cheering, all fired up by the Fully Loaded representatives inside of the ring.

"Dead man lying on the bottom of the grave
Wondering when Savior comes
Is he gonna be saved?"

The crowd are in a mixed reaction as the lights dim and the stage is slightly illuminated by an eerie blue ominous glow. The 'tron' is filled with stormy clouds.

"Maybe you're a sinner into your alternate life
Maybe you're a junker maybe you deserve to die"

Slowly the storm on the 'tron' fades into the cold malice glare from The Sadistic One.

"They were crying when their sons left
God is wearing black
He's gone so far to find no hope
He's never coming back
They were crying when their sons left
All young men must go
He's come so far to find the truth
He's never going home"

Psycho slowly steps out from behind the curtain. An emotionless face captivates him as he makes his way down to the ring.

"Young men standing on the top of their own graves
Wondering when Jesus comes
Are they gonna be saved."

He reaches the ring and rolls into the ring and gets straight to his feet and leans himself into the closest corner.

"Cruelty to the winner, Bishop tells the King his lies
Maybe you're a mourner, maybe you deserve to die
They were crying when their sons left
God is wearing black
He's gone so far to find no hope
He's never coming back
They were crying when their sons left
All young men must go
He's come so far to find no truth
He's never going home"

Psycho crouches down in the corner and cups his hands whilst waiting for the match to get going. Axl and Max wave to him from the opposite of the ring, purposely trying to remind him of their history.

"Welcome to the Soldier Side
Where there's no one here but me
People all grow up to die
There is no one here but me"

"Welcome to the Soldier Side
There is no one here but me
People on the soldier's side
There is no one here but me"

Comeau: I’d like to say it’s good to see Psycho back in an IWC ring finally, but since he’s returned the man has been completely out of control. Who knows what’s going on in that warped brain of his.

Moore: I bet it has something to do with Pokemon.

Mark: I think his twisted mind is focused on the destruction of Sex & Violence, it’s only fitting that his first match back is against these two rivals.

Psycho continues to glare at the smirking Fully Loaded members as the arena drops into total darkness, the piano intro to“The Sacrament” by HIM beginning to play and smoke appearing in the entrance way. As the songs kicks in purple lights come on and Riggs comes walking out from the smoke. He stands on the rampway for a few seconds and throws one arm into the air before making his down to the ring. Once he reaches the ring he slides in under the ropes and remains on all fours, breathing uneasily and glaring with ravenous eyes at the bewildered Axl and Max.

Comeau: And here’s Psycho’s equally as twisted tag team partner Riggs. Who could have foreseen his betrayal of Jason Wheeler at the Overbooked Extravaganza. It was just so out of the blue.

Moore: I love the color blue.

Mark: How irrelevant. I would suggest that Craven and Evermore do not take this fledgling team lightly.

Starting out the match are the age old rivals Max Craven and Psycho. The Manhattan Center buzzes as they recall the infamous Deadly Games title match between these two while Psycho and Craven circle each other. Psycho’s primal eyes are intently locked on the smaller and more pompous Craven. He now rushes at him when Max ducks down into a forward roll under his huge arms.

Psycho spins around as Craven stands behind him, trying to take his head off with a big closed fist. Craven side steps the big fist at the last second as Psycho turns around to face him, lobbing a big boot. Max drops down into a baseball slide between his legs then stands up behind him and lunges into the air.

He now jumps into the air and dropkicks Psycho’s ample sized back, causing the giant to stagger forward into the cables.

Comeau: Max too quick for Psycho.

Moore: I thought speed would be bad in Craven’s line of work.

Psycho bounces off the ropes sternum first and staggers backwards as Craven rushes towards him. He walks right into a back elbow to the jaw however, the impact sending Craven reeling in reverse. The quick Craven falls spine first against the corner, leaning on it for support when Psycho comes barreling towards him, throwing all of his weight at his smaller opponent.

At the last second Max steps out of his brutish opponent’s path, causing Psycho to engulf the turnbuckle instead. He now staggers backwards looking dazed while Max pulls himself up in the corner, standing on the second cable before launching himself off. He flies at Psycho for a crossbody only to be caught across the Sadistic One’s sternum.

Mark: Max caught in a very dangerous predicament.

Susie: Psycho caught him with his titties.

Psycho throws Craven up into the air attempting to catch him on top of his shoulders only for Max to float over. Craven lands right on his feet behind the big man then charges forward, taking him by the back of the head and going for the facebuster.

The twisted, scarred Psycho frees his head by pushing Craven off into the ropes. Max dives to the middle one feet first then springs off twisting around into a dropkick. His boots knock Psycho from his feet down to the canvas.

Comeau: And Max’s quickness just too much for Psycho who has been out of the ring for months. I imagine some rust has developed.

Moore: Humans can rust? Just like the Tinman?

Mark: Yeah, sure.

Susie: Thank God I’ve been using this special oil on my joints for years.

Mark: Susie, that’s olive oil.

Craven jumps over Psycho and lunges to the middle cable, preparing for another springboard maneuver, but his opponent is standing to cut him off. He springs from the second rope and twists towards Psycho who throws all of the weight of his body right into the inbound Craven, batting him down out of the air with the folds of his fat.

Max crashes to the canvas, convulsing in pain while Psycho drops a huge elbow right into his sternum, almost crushing it. Craven sits up and reaches for his chest while the Sadistic One takes him around the neck, rolling him to his feet. He now hooks both of Max’s arms and dead lifts him from the canvas, delivering a release double arm suplex.

Craven is thrown literally half way across the ring where he slams against the canvas forcefully. Psycho methodically rises to an upright base and although he enjoys inflicting such punishment on Craven he tags out to an eager Riggs.

Comeau: Riggs getting the tag and he’s wasting no time to pick up where Psycho left off.

Riggs is stomping repeatedly at the down Craven while Evermore calls for his partner to get up and possibly make the tag. The Painted Warrior drops to Max’s side, applying a modified headlock then delivering several blatant closed fist shots to his forehead.

He now stands up and takes Craven by the bangs of his hair, dragging him up to his feet only to snapmare him over to the canvas. To Riggs’ surprise Craven flips forward out of the snapmare and lands right on his feet. This prompts Riggs to step in taking him around the waist then dropping back into a release German suplex.

Craven shockingly flips over, landing directly on his feet and backing towards Evermore who makes the blind tag.

Comeau: Blind tag made by Evermore.

Susie: Axl isn’t blind. I should know, I bent over to pick up a pencil in front of him once.

Mark: I’m sure it was a moving experience for the both of you.

A stunned Riggs rushes right at Craven who yet again drops into a baseball slide between his opponent’s legs. Riggs turns around and hits the ropes back first only for Evermore to connect with a hard Kawada style kick right to the back of his head. The impact knocks Riggs forward into a leg lariat from Craven, taking the painted warrior down hard into the canvas.

Max stands up and takes hold of Riggs’ ankle, lifting it into the air. As a result Riggs is rolled in reverse onto his feet with his back to the ropes right as Evermore pulls himself over the cables, catching him around the neck and connecting with the bulldog.

Riggs’ face is driven hard into the canvas before he rolls onto his back, Evermore crawling into the lateral press.

1

Riggs launches his shoulder from the ring while Craven is vacating the ring.

Moore: These guys move around as quick and work together as well as ninjas. Do you think they’re trained by a giant rat?

Comeau: No, but Evermore and Craven have incredible tag team continuity, which is why many people consider them a favorite to win the Quest for the Crowns tournament.

Susie: I always found Splinter to be sexy.

A shocked Riggs tries to roll away from Evermore only to be caught around the neck with a cravat. Axl twists repeatedly at his opponent’s neck while standing up and delivering repeated knee lifts to his forehead. The knee strikes are disorientating Riggs as he tries to stand up.

Axl now goes for another knee strike only to have it blocked by the palms of his opposition. Riggs pushes down on the knee and then twists his body free from the neck cravat, wedging his back to Evermore’s. It appears that he’s about to go for the back slide only for Axl to plant his feet, refusing to be taken over.

As a result Riggs spins around, continuing to hook one of Axl’s arms and now dragging him into a short arm lariat. Evermore ducks this clothesline attempt and rushes into the ropes behind his opposition, bouncing off of them and coming back in with a lariat of his own. Before his arm can connect Riggs bends down and catches the inbound Evermore with a huge back drop. Axl flips through the air before crashing down spine first into the ring.

Susie: Wow, Axl flew higher than a balloon. Mark, do you have any balloons? My house is full of them.

Comeau: No, I have no balloons.

Moore: SATAN!

Pain courses through Axl’s back as he sluggishly begins to stand up only for Riggs to step in taking him around the neck. He snaps over backwards into a vertical suplex, driving Evermore’s body hard into the ring. He then rolls in reverse still applying the front chancery and ending up on his feet stooped over his seated opponent.

Evermore is again pulled to his feet as Riggs lifts him into the air for another vertical suplex. This time Axl floats over however, taking Riggs around the neck in the process. He lands on his feet directly behind his vicious opponent and then immediately drops into a sit-down reverse DDT.

Axl drops into a backwards roll after connecting with the move, ending up on his feet then charging into the cables in front of the dazed Riggs. He just has time to sit up before Axl bounces off of the cables and connects with a running knee strike to his opposition’s face.

Comeau: Evermore getting himself back into this encounter with a HUGE counter to the suplex.

Axl rushes into the ropes at Riggs’ side when the gothic competitor rolls towards him. This quick movement incites Axl to cartwheel over his opponent and then rush at the rising Riggs.

He spins his body into a quick rotation where he tries to behead Riggs with a lariat. This attempted blow is ducked by his opposition, who hooks the inbound arm then pushes it in reverse. Evermore turns around into another full rotation and then walks straight into a spinning back heel kick to the ribs.

The shot has Axl doubled over while Riggs rushes up beside him, nailing a knee directly to his face. The impact causes Axl to stand up straight while Riggs makes the tag to Psycho then approaches his upright yet dazed opposition, taking him by the back of the head. He charges him straight towards his corner when Psycho drags himself over the top rope into a big flying shoulder block.

This impact knocks Axl to the canvas with his huge adversary landing beside him. The Sadistic One stands up and takes hold of one of Axl’s legs as well as his wrist, while Riggs grasps the other ones. Both men drop back simultaneously, lifting Evermore from the ring and swinging him around into a washing machine-esque slam. Evermore is driven viciously spine first into the canvas, leaving him completely sprawled out.

Mark: What a nasty tag team move from Psycho and Riggs!

Susie: It doesn’t look like there’s anything sanitary about Psycho. It looks like you’d gain twenty pounds just from smelling him.

The giant Psycho wedges his foot right to Axl’s throat, strangling the life out of his body. Evermore stomps his heels on the canvas and gasps for air as the official starts a five count and Riggs finally vacates the ring. Psycho steps off of the throat then moves towards the corner, climbing it as fast as his rotund frame will allow.

Comeau: Uh oh, Psycho is going to the top rope!

Moore: Yay, we’re gonna see a fat man fly.

The husky Psycho positions himself on the top rope and then flips over backwards. His huge frame soars through the air then comes crashing down with a splat right across the canvas. Axl rolls across the canvas, preventing being squashed by the ginormous Psycho, who shockingly is already starting to stand up.

He has just gotten to his feet when Axl rushes in and jumps into the air, wedging his knee under Psycho’s jaw then falling down into a kneeling base. Psycho’s jaw bounces off of the knee cap and causes him to stand up in a shocked condition before Axl springs into the air, dropkicking him to the sternum.

The dropkick sends Psycho staggering backwards right as Craven springs to the top rope and comes flying off. He connects with a front dropkick right to Psycho’s upper back, causing him to stumble forward right into the waiting arms of Evermore. Axl catches him with a release over head belly to belly suplex.

Comeau: Again the speed of Sex & Violence just too much for the more methodical Psycho.

Susie: He’s slower than a….um….uh….locomotive.

Axl crawls into the cover, hooking Psycho’s huge leg for the pin.

1

2

Psycho launches his shoulder from the ring, avoiding being eliminated from the Quest for the Crowns tournament. However, as soon as he kicks out Axl grabs hold of his arm, swinging around it and locking his legs around the shoulder. He drops to his back establishing an arm grapevine as Psycho roars in pain, trying feverishly to escape.

That’s when Riggs pulls himself over the top rope, twisting around and landing feet first on the second cable before moonsaulting over backwards. He crashes right across Axl’s sternum, breaking up his submission attempt.

He now stands upright and turns right into a yakuza kick attempt from Craven. The shot misses Riggs’ head by mere inches as Craven now turns around and finds himself trapped in a jaw breaker position. Riggs falls to his seat, trying to hit the move only for Max to block it and then flip over backwards.

He lands right on his feet before promptly jumping forward and connecting with a stiff front dropkick right to the seated Riggs’ face.

Mark: Things starting to break down here in this Quest for the Crowns first round matchup.

Susie: This came undone faster than my braw at a kegger.

The crowd is shocked by that hard shot that has leveled Riggs as Craven now rises to his feet. He spots Psycho standing up with the assistance of the cables, gripping at his arm in the process.

This elicits a quick reaction from Craven as he charges into the cables behind Psycho, jumping to the top one. He lands on it feet first then falls down to his seat, causing him to be sent into a backwards flip where he catches hold of Psycho’s head and pulls him down into a modified high impact DDT.

The top of Psycho’s head is driven with great force into the canvas as the referee urgently tries to get Max out of the ring. He doesn’t have to argue with him for long before Craven is attacked from behind by a recovered Riggs, who delivers a hard boot right to the back of Max’s head.

The kick sends Craven reeling forward into the cables, bouncing off of them and then coming back at Riggs who sidesteps his inbound opponent. He catches him by the arm and the back of the tights, lifting Craven up into the air and then slamming him down face first into the canvas with a half nelson face buster.

As soon as Max’s face connects with the canvas Riggs wraps his arm around his neck and rolls in reverse onto his feet. He pulls Craven up into almost a modified dragon sleeper before dragging him all the way to his feet and hoisting him into the air with a devastating reverse suplex.

Mark: What a terrific yet painful series of moves in this match.

Susie: I can’t even call all this action, not that I was trying to though.

The official steps back unsure of how to handle this chaos as Riggs rises back to his feet and goes for a roundhouse kick to the face of the rising Evermore. Somehow Axl has the wherewithal to duck this shot and wait for Riggs to spin towards him, where he immediately catches the painted warrior and then drops back into a release exploder suplex.

Riggs crashes with great force right into the ring across his back then rolls under the ropes to the outside. All the while Axl gets to his feet in a still frazzled state when the recovering Psycho spins him around and takes him by the neck. The crowd is shocked as Psycho sets for the chokeslam.

Comeau: This could finish Evermore and Craven off.

Susie: Oh, that would be sadder than Ben Afflack’s acting skills.

Psycho hoists Evermore into the air for the chokeslam when Axl twists his body, reaching back with his legs and wrapping them around the rotund waist of his opponent. He now drops forward and pulls Psycho down into a quick roll up where the Fully Loaded representative is seated right on top of the thick chest of his opponent.

The official drops down to make the count when Axl slides off of the chest and grabs the arm of Psycho, yet again trapping it in the grapevine submission.

Susie: ROADBLOCK!

Comeau: Axl going right back into that grapevine.

Riggs stands up on the outside of the ring, about to enter and help his partner but he doesn’t spot the now upright Craven. Max rushes across the ring and then throws himself backwards over the top rope, twisting around in mid-air to come crashing down with a moonsault onto Riggs’ shoulder. This aerial grace elicits a huge response from the crowd as both Craven and Riggs now lay on the outside mats.

Psycho has been left entirely to his own devises at this point, his arm almost being ripped from its socket by the technically sound Evermore. Axl exerts as much pressure as he can on the hold, almost breaking the arm as Psycho desperately drags his body towards the ropes.

He now reaches out and grabs the bottom cable to a mixed response from the crowd. As soon as the official informs Evermore that Psycho reaches the ropes, Axl rolls to his feet and drops a leg across the bicep of his large opponent.

A gasp of pain emanates from Psycho as Evermore rolls in reverse to his feet and then throws himself into a back first senton splash right across the damaged arm of his opponent. Psycho sits up and grits his teeth as he reaches for his arm, already starting to stand.

Comeau: Psycho may have broke up that submission by reaching the ropes, but that damaged arm has become the focal point of Axl’s offense.

The hefty Psycho reaches his feet when Axl steps towards him to once again target the arm. Unfortunately he walks right into a boot to the face. The impact sends Evermore into a spin, turning back towards Psycho in time for the giant to swing a fist directly at his face. Axl sidesteps the massive knuckles and catches Psycho’s arm, trying to pull him down into the fujiwara.

Mark: If Axl gets this locked in, his team may advance to the second round of this tournament!

Susie: No more sweaty, stinky Psycho? Yay!

Psycho is on his knees still fighting to be dragged all the way down to the canvas into the hold when he uses all his remaining energy to rise back to his feet. He now twists his body, freeing his arm and then wedging his shoulders to Evermore’s back, lifting him up into a torture rack.

On the outside of the ring Craven has been whipped into the steel steps by Riggs, causing Max’s back to slam against the steel violently. This allows Riggs to now re-enter the ring by climbing one of the turnbuckles. Evermore desperately tries to escape the torture rack to no avail when Riggs comes flying from the top rope, catching him around the neck. Riggs connects with almost a swinging neckbreaker while Psycho drops into a forward roll.

The front of Axl’s body crashes with great force into the canvas with Psycho hefty body slams into his kidney area.

Susie: LADY JAYE!

Mark: A vicious tag team move just utilized by Riggs and Psycho, will it be enough to put them into the second round?

Psycho crawls urgently into the cover while Riggs stands guard to protect the pinfall.

1

2

To a loud reaction Evermore kicks out, launching his shoulder from the ring just in the nick of time. A flustered Psycho now stands up and takes hold of Axl’s hair, forcing his opponent to a standing base before lifting him high into the air and dropping him right across his knee with the backbreaker.

Psycho keeps Axl draped over his knee as Riggs rushes into the ropes at their side, springing to the top cable then taking flight. He twists around in mid-air and crashes down leg first right across Axl’s throat. Evermore is flipped over, tumbling to the ring while Psycho crawls into the lateral press.

Comeau: This might just be it after that remarkable leg drop from Riggs.

The referee makes the count to screams and wails from the crowd.

1

2

Craven enters the ring and jumps into the air, catching a distracted Riggs by the back of the head and pulling him down with a face buster right on top of Psycho. The pinfall is broken up at the very last second as a convulsing Riggs rolls around the ring holding his forehead and Psycho arches his lower back.

Psycho starts to stand up only to have Craven rush straight at him. That’s when the big man catches his inbound opponent by the inner thighs and throws him over his head. Unbeknownst to a turning Psycho, Craven has landed feet first on the second rope and is springing off, twisting around and landing right on top of his wide opponent’s shoulders. Max swings his body around into a hurricarana that sends Psycho flipping forward.

Comeau: Craven interjecting himself back into this match with a huge hurricarana!

Susie: What was huge about it? I would say it was appropriately sized.

Craven stands up really cooking at this point only to turn around and be caught by the back of the head. Riggs charges him at the ropes and throws him through them to the outside of the ring. He now turns towards the slowly standing Evermore and scoops him up into the air, slamming him down to the center of the ring.

The quick Riggs rushes at the ropes off to Axl’s side and twists around, landing feet first on the second one. He is almost seated on the top rope, ready to take flight having no idea that Max has climbed back up onto the apron. Craven springs to the top rope of the perpendicular cables in respect to where Riggs is seated and then flies off, twisting around and landing on top of Riggs’ shoulders.

He drops back and hurricaranas Riggs from the cables, sending him flipping towards a now standing Evermore. Axl catches Riggs on top of his shoulders and drops into a seated powerbomb. The fans are jumping out of their seats in shock over what they just witnessed.

1

2

Psycho dives forearm first into Axl and breaks up the pinfall attempt.

Comeau: DID YOU SEE THAT!?!

Susie: Is the singing panda back?

Mark: No, I’m talking about that amazing move from Sex & Violence.

Moore: Oh, don’t get my hopes up like that.

The fans are still going nuts over that maneuver from Evermore and Craven as both men start to stand up. At the same time a discombobulated Psycho is starting to stand up before he receives a double boot to the ribs. The big man is doubled over as Craven and Axl take him by the wrists, whipping him across the ring into the ropes.

He bounces off of the ropes and comes back in at Axl and Craven who have bent forward for a back drop. At the last second he stops just short of them, delivering a kick to Craven’s chest, then one to Axl’s. The impact causes both men to stand upright as Psycho lunges forward for a double lariat. They duck it and step to opposite sides of Psycho’s body before connecting with stereo enzugaris.

Max kicks Psycho to the back of the head and Evermore’s foot lands right to his face. The shot leaves Psycho completely disorientated, teetering on his feet as Max and Evermore stand up then connect with a double superkick right to his jaw. The impact knocks Psycho loopy, sending him staggering backwards into the ropes and falling through them to the outside of the ring.

Comeau: The fancy footwork of Max and Axl completely taking out Psycho at this point.

Susie: I love footwork, it was Kevin Bacon’s best movie.

Mark: That’s footloose you half aborted fetus.

The Manhattan Center crowd is still solidly behind their hometown boys as Evermore is spun around from behind by a recovered Riggs. The painted competitor lunges forward right a spinning heel kick that is ducked by Axl. This causes Riggs to step forward right into a pele kick from Craven.

Max flipped completely over backwards with his shin landing across the top of Riggs’ head. The kick causes Riggs to turn towards Axl who catches him across the chest, lifting him up into the air into a spinebuster position but then stalling. He waits as Craven rushes across the ring, slips through the ropes onto the apron then springs to the top cable.

The fans are amazed as Max flips over top of Axl and catches Riggs around the neck, pulling him down into a version of the Big Stiffy (Blockbuster) while Evermore also connects with the sit-out spinebuster.

Mark: Another AMAZING tag team move from Sex & Violence.

Susie: I tell you what’s amazing, the fact that my eleventh toe can wiggle.

Craven rolls out of the way as Axl flips forward into a jackknife cover. The entire crowd is on its feet as the official emphatically makes the count.

1

2

Somehow Psycho has recovered and re-entered the ring in time to throw himself into a back first senton splash right across Axl’s abdomen, breaking up the three count.

Comeau: Ohhh! Psycho breaking up the three count just in the nick of time yet again.

Moore: Somebody should really put a bell on him.

Psycho rolls across the ring now, having exerted all of his remaining strength to beak up that pinfall. He just starts to get up when Craven rushes behind him and delivers a shinning knee right to the back of his head. Psycho is knocked seemingly unconscious by this shot while Max rolls across the ring to his feet, ending up with his back aimed towards the laid out Riggs.

Craven now performs almost a standing version of the twisting phoenix splash, crashing down right on top of his mark.

Before he can go for the cover he spots Psycho shockingly trying to stand up, utilizing the ropes to aid him in doing so. The badly damaged, scarred veteran stands upright, his eyes rolling to the back of his head when Craven comes charging in. To his shock Psycho has the wherewithal to catch him around the waist and belly to belly suplex him right over the top rope.

Max flips over and slams with a hard collision across the outside mats.

Comeau: I don’t have a clue how he’s doing it, but Psycho is somehow still getting in some offense even after taking all these shots to the head.

Susie: It’s one of the fringe benefits of having no brain…

Mark: You’d be the expert in that department.

Max is left rolling around on the outside mats, wincing in pain while Psycho steps forward across the ring and grabs the throat of a rising Evermore. Axl is shocked as he’s lifted into the air for the chokeslam only to squirm free at the last second and grab hold of Psycho’s arm.

Before Psycho has time to fight it he’s dragged down to the canvas into the fujiwara armbar. The Manhattan Center fans are standing, wondering if Psycho is going to tap out or not due to all the damage done to his arm earlier in this encounter.

Comeau: Axl’s got the fujiwara again established! Can Psycho hang in there, can he keep from tapping out!?!

Psycho is inching his way towards the ropes while roaring in pain, sweat pouring from his body. To his dismay he can’t reach the cables, his body far too exhausted at this point. His only other recourse is to lift his free palm into the air, on the verge of tapping out.

His fingers are shaking along with the rest of his body as Axl continues to rip and to tear at the arm. Evermore can almost feel the Tag Team titles in his grasp as he continues to wrench violently at the bicep of his opponent with every remaining ounce of energy.

Axl seemingly has the victory when Riggs charges in and connects with the shinning wizard right to his face. The fans are stunned by this kick which leaves Evermore dazed enough to break up the submission. Psycho now rolls away from Evermore, pulling him over into the crucifix pin.

Instead of going for the cover though, Psycho switches from this position and stands upright, dragging Axl’s head under his seat. He lifts him into the air and connects with a cradle piledriver. The top of Axl’s head hits the ring hard while Psycho keeps hold of him and falls back, rolling the motionless Evermore over his own body once again to a standing base.

As soon as he rolls over Psycho to his feet, Riggs catches hold of him and delivers the Hopskotch (Michinoku Driver II). Evermore is slammed with great force against the canvas as Psycho steps in and flips forward into the jackknife cover of his own.

Comeau: Two devastating maneuvers hit on Axl in succession!

Moore: Get up Max, do something about this, hit him with a vibrator or something.

Craven climbs to the apron only to have Riggs reach through the ropes and place him in a bearhug, keeping him from breaking up the count.

1

2

3!

The fans respond with a mixed ovation as Riggs and Psycho have just advanced in the Quest for the Crowns Tournament.

Mark: Ohh, tough break for Axl and Max, who seemingly were so close to advancing in this tournament, but now Psycho and Riggs will go on to the second round.

Moore: Those guys in the Halloween costumes won? Good for them, I just hope they share some of their candy.

Craven drops to his knees on the apron, looking flabbergasted by this loss while Riggs approaches his partner, assisting Psycho to his feet. Both men raise their arms up high in victory while Evermore grips at his back in pain.

Comeau: What a phenomenal opening round match up, we’ll have more to come here tonight on Riot!

COMMERCIAL BREAK

HANGING THEM UP

“You Know My Name” explodes over the PA system, resulting in a massive outcry of cheers from the crowd.

Mark Comeau: What is this? We’re hearing Orlando Cruze’s entrance music even though he vowed not to be at the Manhattan Center tonight.

Susie: Maybe it’s a snafu, like when I put my socks on the wrong hands.

Comeau: Don’t you mean fee…wait, I forgot who I was talking to.

The crowd is pumping with adrenaline as through the curtains strolls Orlando Cruze, the Tag Team title belts hanging from his palm. The reception he is receiving only intensifies yet Orlando barely even acknowledges their cheers, his eyes are devoid of his usual confidence.

The demoralized Orlando continues down the ramp and hops to the apron, not pandering to the fans like he usually would. Instead he just slides through the ropes and tosses the IWC Tag Team title belts down onto the center of the canvas. With little emotion he snaps his fingers and calls for a microphone, one being bestowed upon him by Kailey Worf.

Orlando Cruze: THERE! I’ve accomplished what I came here to do tonight….

Orlando points down at the championship belts and doesn’t take his eyes off of them.

Moore: He came here to throw around title belts? Maybe he should be abusing that treacherous Cartel Championship belt instead.

The intense Orlando continues to explain his actions.

Orlando: I said, no, I VOWED not to be here tonight, but my respect for what this company USE to stand for runs far too deeply. I had to come to this ring one last time to do the honorable thing by turning over the Tag Team Titles to the next generation. Although my tag team partner may not give a damn about the belts, I do, and I don’t want to tarnish their rich legacy.

Comeau: I hope I’m not hearing what I think I’m hearing.

Moore: Sorry, I tried the corner of a White Castle’s burger earlier. They go in far easier than they come out.

Mark: That’s not what I’m talking about. Orlando looks completely drained, and I don’t like hearing him talk about just handing over the titles.

Orlando continues to hover over the belts he dropped in the ring while running his trembling fingers over his bald scalp.

Cruze: Sadly everything else about the IWC has been tarnished in my eyes. For almost six years I’ve broken my body and bled buckets for this company only to see it go further and further down the drain. At the Overbooked Extravaganza, everything, all the hard work, all the blood, all the pain, all the devotion proved to be worthless. Once again I, and everyone of you were SHAFTED by the Conspiracy….

A resounding wave of boos are heard from the crowd.

Orlando: And I was stripped not only of my championship, but my revenge, my pride, and my respect for this company. I can’t compete in a federation I can’t respect. I’m not going to come out here anymore fighting for a franchise on life support. I’m not going to save something that isn’t willing to save itself.

The Icon becomes a little more emotional.

Cruze: I don’t take honor in my job anymore, in my quest to raise the IWC World Championship high above my head. That dream also has been taken from me, it was snubbed out just like my last title reign at the hands of Christian Savior.

Again the crowd vindictively unloads on Savior.

Orlando: I’m starting to feel like the doubters were true, maybe my heart just isn’t it anymore, maybe I was never cut out to lead this company. All of these doubts, all that I’ve lost, has led me here to this moment in time. Do I stay and continue to endure the punishment with no reward, or do I walk away and look fondly on what the IWC use to represent?

These questions leave Cruze in great internal confliction. He rubs his jaw while staring down into the glistening tag belts.

Moore: I’d choose the soup.

Mark: That’s not the decision he’s trying to make Susie.

Susie: It’s my choice for all of life’s tough questions.

Orlando continues to debate while rambling.

Cruze: I came here tonight to make this decision in front of you people, because frankly you deserve to hear from me one last time. I can’t walk away without explaining things to you pe….

Hold it Mr. Melodrama.

The crowd responds favorably at the sight of the Team Leader and former World Heavyweight Champion Johnny Kingdom sauntering towards the ring. The co-holder of the Tag Team titles shows no hesitation to start up the steps with a microphone in hand, Orlando a bit miffed by his interruption.

Johnny Kingdom: I’m sorry to interrupt this Days of Our Lives sob story but I couldn’t stand it any longer.

Orlando tilts his head, quite flustered that his speech is being trivialized by the arrogant Team Leader. Kingdom enters the ring and continues to reassure Orlando the best way he knows how, by insulting him.

Johnny: Your going to pick those belts back up and carry them….

Orlando: Why should I?

Kingdom: Because I’m too lazy to carry them myself. Besides, the IWC doesn’t pay me double, so I’m not going to wrestle for two people. Also, I’ll be damned if you let someone like “Christian Savior” take credit for running you out of this company, that’s my distinction.

These words do nothing to alleviate Orlando’s despair.

Cruze: This isn’t about Christian Savior, this is about my family. A family I wasn’t able to protect, a family I wasn’t able to vindicate, a family I’ll never be able to honor thanks to the Conspiracy.

Johnny covers his mouth to refrain from laughing.

Johnny: I’m sorry Orlando, but your bitching is HILARIOUS. Do you believe your family will think better of you because you walked away when things didn’t go your way? Can you look them in the eye and tell them that daddy is a quitter?

Obviously these words are getting to Orlando, who is trying to maintain his composure and not change his mind.

Kingdom: Can you ever look at your kids the same way again knowing that you gave up instead of beating down the man who threatened them? WAKE UP Orlando. You know you can’t walk away until you’ve gotten your revenge, until you’ve beaten Christian Savior, until Dan Douglas is rotting in a ditch somewhere.

Orlando tries not to listen before Johnny slaps him in the face. This shot inspires Orlando to step over the belts and get forehead to forehead with the Team Leader. Both men are ready to go at it finally.

Kingdom: And most importantly you can’t leave this company until you beat me.

A loud reaction is heard from the crowd in response to these statements. The tension between the Tag Team Champions grows thicker and thicker as Orlando edges a microphone towards his lips.

Orlando: I never thought I would say this Kingdom, but…….your right.

Moore: And I guess that would make Orlando….left?

Mark: Play with your hair sweety. The rest of us will concentrate on a shocking statement from Orlando.

Johnny appears stunned by Orlando’s statement.

Orlando: Perhaps I do have too many things left to accompl…..

Are you two going to put me to sleep all night!?!

The mood in the building changes coinciding with the surmounting anger of the fans at the sight of the swaggering Savior. Christian strolls casually onto the stage wearing the World Championship with pride on his shoulder. The mere sight of it causes Orlando to grow even tenser.

Savior: This is HORRIBLE. You’ve got Orlando Snooze boring me to tears, and the only thing Kingdom could inspire are my suicidal impulses. I’ve had enough of the two of you ruining my show talking about a couple of rugrats with down syndrome…

Cruze nods, his fists clinching to the point that his nails break the skin of his palms. Johnny shakes his head smugly.

Christian: Like it or not Orlando, you will defend your Tag Team title belts tonight, and Johnny you’ll just have to live with being Cruze’s partner.

Kingdom: Oh well, I guess it could be worse. I could be your teammate. Well, if I grew the mandatory Michael Bolton cut.

Moore: I love Michael Bolton’s hair, it looks like one big pillow.

Savior holds his ribs, producing a mocking laugh.

Savior: Ho-ho-ho, that may be the only funny thing that comes out of your mouth Kingdom, excluding Orlando’s penis. But I’ll tell you what won’t make you laugh. Your scheduled Tag Team title match will start right now. And just to make things spicier and a little easier on me should either of you invoke a challenge for MY World title, your contest is now…..

Cruze smirks deviously before dropping the bombshell.

Christian: A LADDER MATCH!

This announcement is met with mixed applause as Kingdom’s eyes shoot towards Orlando’s despair ridden pupils.

Savior: So Kingdom, you had better hope your partner pulls his head out of his ass, but we all know he won’t, because like I proved at the Overbooked Extravaganza, Orlando has nothing LEFT.

Savior turns his back emphatically towards the champions and marches through the curtains.

Comeau: This is interesting, Orlando and Kingdom versus Aurora Rose and David Freak will now be a ladder match for the tag titles.

Moore: Ladder is coming out? I knew I should have done my hair.

The Team Leader and the Icon continue to stare one another down awkwardly while a hook is lowered from the rafters to receive the belts.

ORLANDO CRUZE & JOHNNY KINGDOM ©
VS.
DAVID FREAK & AURORA ROSE
LADDER MATCH

The arena goes black as a lone piano performance roars over the PA. Purple and blue lights flick on as blue and gold metalic shavings of confetti fall from the rafters. The lights dim as the piano nears it's end. The lights are out once more, leaving the arena in complete darkness before a roaring explosion on the stage accompanied by the roaring guitar of "Spirit of the Underdog" silhouettes David Freak. He stands in the on the stage looking out to the crowd, nodding slowly at the oncoming cheers and jeers from the crowd. He then turns, thrusting his hand outward as Aurora Rose steps through the curtains shaking her head. Clearly she’s conflicted about teaming with Freak tonight, yet walks alongside her husband nevertheless.

"Seen you round, I know your face.
Watched you try to grow up with grace.
Seen that heart out on your sleeve.
Like it's so much life you're dying to feel
Dying to feel"

Freak throws his arms up into the air as he cockily spins around as he makes his way down the ramp. Aurora continues to trail behind rolling her eyes but throwing up a few rock gestures towards the crowd. A few male fans “hoot” and “holler,” prompting Freak to point them out in a threatening manner.

"Cause if you've got to steal, you've got to steal the show
It's the spirit of the underdog
And if you've got to break, you've got to break the mold
It's the spirit of the underdog"

Aurora is annoyed by David’s antics as he struts his way down the rest of the ramp showing off in any way he possibly can. He reaches the ring side and grabs onto the ropes to pull himself up before quickly parting the cables so that Aurora can enter. On this occasion Aurora actually slips through the ropes that David has opened, causing Freak to get excited. A referee has now discreetly entered the ring and is hanging the belts on the hook.

Mark: It’s official boys and girls, this is officially a ladder match for the tag titles in the first round of the Quest for the Crowns Tournament.

Moore: Boys and girls shouldn’t be up this late, they should be sleeping in to wake up early and watch Ducktales.

Comeau: I don’t think anyone is going to want to miss this. David Freak and Aurora Rose also thrown a curveball here as they got the honor of facing the Tag Champs in the first round by winning the four corners bout at the Overbooked Extravaganza.

The crowd is excited as Johnny Kingdom and Orlando Cruze argue in their corner, seemingly over their last little exchange of words. Realizing that their distracted David drops to the canvas across all fours, slithering across the ring towards Kingdom’s back. He lifts a finger to his lips, telling Aurora to “shhh” as he tries to discreetly sneak up on the preoccupied Team Leader. Aurora rolls her eyes, which shift towards the Tag Team title belts swaying above the canvas.

While David continues to try and sneak up on Kingdom she slips through the ropes and reaches under the ring, grabbing hold of a ladder.

Mark: David Freak trying to stealthily sneak up on Johnny who is still arguing with Cruze. I don’t see how the champs can possibly coexist after they got through slapping each other right before this match. Let alone in an impromptu ladder match.

Susie: I’ve learned to coexist with people who have slapped me. Oh wait, no, that was a character from Dallas.

The quiet Freak now charges at Kingdom when Johnny spins around and unexpectedly blocks a right hand launched by his opponent. The Team Leader’s own fist connects with David’s jaw, sending him down hard to the canvas. He rolls around the ring gripping at his face in a stunned state when Johnny turns back towards a flustered Cruze.

Johnny: How about we continue this discussion later?

Orlando shrugs as the Team Leader now charges towards a rising David, connecting with a lariat to his throat. Although the Icon clearly doesn’t want to team alongside of the Team Leader he realizes the jeopardy that his belt is in, spotting Aurora lifting a ladder from under the ring.

Cruze drops to the outside mats and immediately charges at her, delivering a right hand into Aurora’s face. The shot sends her reeling in reverse, leaving the ladder leaning against the apron. Cruze now delivers a hard chop directly to her sternum, which sends her spiraling towards the steel stairs.

Comeau: Cruze and Kingdom cutting off their challengers right in the middle of their plots, keeping that ladder from being brought into the ring.

Moore: Do you think that ladder is Ladder’s cousin or something? They have such a strong resemblance to one another.

Inside of the ring Kingdom has pulled David back to his feet and is whipping him across the ring. At the last second David twists his body and reverses the whip though, instead sending Kingdom charging into the turnbuckle. Johnny spins around and hits the corner with force spine first when David comes barreling towards him. Freak lunges into the air when Kingdom steps out of the way, causing David to land gracefully feet first on the second rope.

The quick Kingdom spins around just as Freak launches himself off of the corner, twisting around into a crossbody. Before he can connect Johnny drops to his elbows and knees, causing Freak to fly over him and crash to the canvas.

Outside of the squared circle Orlando is grabbing the ladder, beginning to lift it until Aurora comes charging in. He now bends forward over the ladder, catching Rose against his shoulder then back dropping her high into the air. To screams from the crowd Aurora comes tumbling down spine first into the thin protective mats.

Susie: Aurora fell on them mats hard, I wonder if she broke her bottom. That would mean she’d have two cracks. Ahahahahaha, I’m so wicked.

Comeau: Wretched would be the word I’d use.

Orlando returns to the ladder leaning diagonally against the apron, lifting up on its struts. The top portion of the ladder begins to slip through the ropes while Kingdom is busy slugging Freak to the forehead repeatedly. David tries to maintain his footing in his discombobulated state when the Team Leader charges in for the knock out shot.

As soon as the Team Leader steps in he’s caught around the ankle, Freak pulling him down with a drop toe hold into the ladder being slid through the ropes. Kingdom’s face crashes off of the top half of the rungs, sending the lower portion of the ladder catapulting upwards right into Orlando’s forehead on the outside of the ring.

Comeau: Ohhh, David just killed two birds with one stone.

Susie: That must be a big stone, and that’s animal cruelty!

While Johnny rolls around in the ring gripping at his skull Orlando lays on the outside mats holding his forehead, both men suffering. David gets to his feet and looks at both the downed Tag Team Champions, wondering what happened before shrugging and grabbing hold of the ladder.

He slides it through the ropes and begins to pull it under the hanging Tag Title belts. Just as he begins to set it up Kingdom grabs hold of his pants from behind, pulling him backwards into his shoulder. Johnny rises to his feet and lifts David into the air for a back drop only to have Freak flip over in reverse, landing directly on his feet. He staggers backwards into the ropes, bouncing off the cables and coming back in at Johnny who bends forward, catching his inboud opponent and throwing him over his head.

David shows remarkable agility as he flies over Kingdom and then lands feet first right on top of the ladder. He immediately begins to scale it, prompting Johnny to spin around and step up behind his climbing challenger.

Mark: Freak landing on the ladder like a cat and then going straight after the belts!

Johnny steps up behind Freak, grabbing his ankle and then pulling his feet off of the ladder. The shocked David comes tumbling down off of the ladder, landing right on top of Johnny’s shoulders in a fireman’s carry. The Team Leader steps around the ring preparing to deliver some type of high impact move when Aurora slips into the ring in front of him, delivering a quick jumping knee strike right to his jaw.

The shot knocks Johnny loopy and allows David to slip off of his shoulders, landing on his feet right behind him. Freak grabs the back of Kingdom’s head, charging him at the ladder then throwing him face first into the steel rungs. His skull bashes off of the steel and causes him to tumble to the ring.

Mark: Aurora and Freak working as a cohesive unit to take out Kingdom.

Moore: Don’t forget to give the ladder some credit too. You know, it’s almost a devilishly handsome as our former Cartel Champion.

Johnny still grips at his forehead while David approaches the ladder, beginning to take it down out of it’s standing position. He pulls it towards his body right as Orlando enters the ring and dropkicks the ladder. The rungs smash hard into David’s body, sending him staggering backwards into the ropes and spilling to the outside mats.

The intense Icon stands up right as Aurora lunges through the air with a spinning heel kick. Both of her boots land right against Orlando’s face, knocking him to the canvas. Aurora rolls back to her feet and then rushes forward, flipping through the air with a standing senton bomb right across the Icon’s ribs.

Anguish flows through Cruze’s body as he rolls to his side, rubbing at his ribcage. He rolls to his side and starts to stand up when Aurora charges in, delivering a front dropkick directly to the side of his skull. Her boots nail him to the jaw, sending Orlando rolling across the canvas towards the center of the ring.

Aurora is really cooking at this point as she stands up and turns towards an inbound Kingdom, who lobs a lariat at her throat. Rose drops into a forward roll, avoiding the lariat then ending up back on her feet behind the Team Leader. Kingdom spins around when Aurora twists sideways through the air, nailing Johnny to the forehead with a corkscrew kick.

The shot sends Johnny right back down to the canvas.

Susie: You go girlfriend!

Comeau: Aurora all amped up as she takes down the Tag Team Champions.

Aurora spots David starting to drag himself back up to the apron as she calls out to him. She now approaches the ladder, grabbing hold of it and placing it in the corner, standing it upright. All the while David steps towards Orlando, pulling the Tag Champ to his feet then whipping him towards the steel rungs.

Orlando spins around and crashes against the rungs spine first while Aurora is leading Kingdom to his feet. She now whips him into Cruze, causing Johnny to turn around hitting the Icon spine first, both men stacked upright against the ladder in the corner.

Aurora now steps into the diagonal corner and takes David by the wrist, whipping him towards their opponents. David lunges into the air, splashing Kingdom who then falls out of the corner, leaving Cruze remaining pressed spine first to the ladder. That’s when Aurora cartwheels across the canvas and lunges into a springing back elbow right to Orlando’s sternum. She then flips backwards over the ropes landing on the apron feet first with the crowd stunned by Freak’s and Rose’s crafty teamwork.

Mark: Aurora and David really working well together to claim those tag team titles.

Susie: They must have had some marriage counseling.

David approaches the ladder and scoops it out of the corner, wedging it against his chest as he carries it to the center of the ring. He now begins to set up the steel beneath the title belts swaying above the squared circle as Aurora slips into the ring. She stomps at Kingdom and Cruze, keeping them down while David makes his way up the ladder towards the glistening championships.

Comeau: Now Freak going for the titles, we could have new champs.

David is about half way up the ladder as Aurora spots Kingdom standing up in front of her. She rushes up behind him and grabs the back of his head, going for a facebuster only to be pushed off into the ropes. Rose bounces off of the cables and comes staggering towards Kingdom who presses her up into the air, raising her high above his head. Johnny turns and throws Aurora side first right into David’s back, knocking Freak off of the ladder.

Moore: SHIPWRECK!

Comeau: Aurora thrown right into Freak, knocking him from the ladder. That was unique.

Kingdom has fallen to a knee as both Aurora and Freak tumble to the canvas, looking stunned. That’s when Orlando steps towards the ladder, snatching it up off of the canvas and placing it over his shoulder. He seems to be waiting for his opponents to stand up.

The second that Aurora reaches an upright base the Icon charges in and slams the top of the ladder directly into her face. The steel bashes hard against her skull, knocking Rose from her feet and causing her to agonizingly grip at her face. From behind the ladder is grabbed by Kingdom, who tries to drag it down off of Orlando’s shoulder.

This forces the Icon to spin around as he keeps hold of one of the rungs, both men now involved in a tug of war over the ladder. Obviously neither man trusts the other to climb the ladder and claim the belts while David begins to charge up at their side. That’s when Kingdom and Cruze work together to drive the side of the ladder right into Freak’s ribs, doubling him over forward.

They drop the ladder to the canvas and Kingdom steps over David’s head, wrapping his arms around his waist. He lifts the challenger into the air onto his shoulders in a powerbomb position before falling back and dropping David ribs first right on top of the ladder.

The crowd is shocked as David bashes off of the rungs then rises to his knees only to be placed in a front chancery by Cruze. Orlando lifts him up into the air and drops him with a reverse suplex, planting Freak yet again sternum first into the ladder rungs.

Comeau: Orlando and Kingdom working together to inflict some serious damage to David Freak. He might be taken out of this match entirely at this point.

Susie: Aurora will be left all by her lonesome. She’ll have to start collecting small figurines to fill that gaping void in her life.

David is all busted up as he grips at his chest, Orlando snatching the ladder up off of the canvas. He lifts it into the air and sets it up under the championship belts now beginning to scale the rungs painstakingly. Orlando has no idea that Aurora has grabbed another ladder on the outside of the ring, sluggishly positioning it longways between the apron and barricade.

The Icon is not preoccupied by her opponent’s actions, instead he keeps his focus on the championships hanging above. Screams of joy are heard as he slowly reaches up for the championship, his fingers falling just short of the strap. That’s when Aurora springs to the top rope and comes flying through the air, connecting with a dropkick to the side of the ladder.

The impact knocks the ladder over and sends Cruze tumbling from the top, slamming against the top rope. He bounces off of it and falls to the canvas, immediately rolling under the cables to recover from this trauma. Rose now begins to stand up, staggering backwards into the ropes when Kingdom rushes in and almost decapitates her with a lariat. The impact sends Aurora flipping over the ropes and tumbling to the outside mats.

Mark: Aurora knocking Orlando from the ladder but then given no time to strategize.

Susie: It’s not like everyone needs to strategize, just look at George Bush.

Johnny turns around just as Freak comes barreling towards him. The Team Leader bends and catches David against his shoulder, back dropping him over the ropes. David twists around in mid-flight and then comes crashing down face first into the side of the ladder extended across the apron and the barricade. He bashes off of the steel hard and then crumbles to the outside mats.

Comeau: The Team Leader taking out both of his opponents, now he’s got to get up that ladder to the championship belts.

Johnny staggers to the center of the ring, grabbing the ladder leaning against he ropes then standing it upright beneath the belts. His aching body begins to scale the rungs, getting closer and closer to the dangling championship belts. The gold glistens the closer he gets to it while Aurora pulls herself up onto the ladder that is positioned across the barricade and apron. She climbs up onto it already looking exhausted from the beating she’s endured.

Johnny is now very close to the top when Aurora rushes across the ladder platform and jumps from it to the top rope. She springs off and flies through the air, landing gracefully on the opposite side of the ladder Johnny is climbing. The crowd cheers loudly over this display of agility.

Susie: She just landed on that ladder like Spider-Man, only without the penis.

Mark: Aurora trying to cut Kingdom off from grabbing those championship belts.

Johnny launches a fist over the top of the ladder directly into Aurora’s jaw. She fires back with a shot of her own, trying to send him crashing down from high above. That’s when a recovered Freak steps up behind Kingdom, clubbing him over the back then sticking his head under the Team Leader’s seat.

He drags Johnny away from the ladder in an electric chair drop position before moving around behind Aurora. Rose turns around, pressing her backs to the rungs then launches herself off the ladder landing right on top of Kingdom’s shoulders. The fans erupt as she connects with a doomsday-rana, flipping Kingdom off of Freak’s shoulders and sending him plummeting hard into the canvas.

Susie: COBRA COMMANDER!

Comeau: An incredible tag team move just being hit with the assistance of the ladder and possibly taking Johnny Kingdom out of this match.

Johnny is laid completely out while David staggers into the ladder, beginning to climb it sluggishly. An intense Aurora crawls to the other side of the ladder, grabbing the rungs and pulling herself upwards. Both of the challengers climb as fast as their bodies will allow, blocking the pain and exhaustion coursing through their frames.

The gold is now just out of their reach with the fans standing, wondering if new champions are on the verge of being crowned. That’s when Orlando re-enters the fray, stepping up beside the ladder and grabbing the struts, using all of his strength to push it over.

The ladder falls over sideways and sends Aurora tumbling over the ropes and crashing to the outside mats from a tremendous height. On the other hand David falls crotch first into the top cable, racking himself painfully on top of it. He cannot even produce words or sounds to interpret just how much pain he is currently in.

Mark: The ladder pushed over and both challengers suffering some nasty falls.

Susie: That rope is giving David a free physical, all he has to do now is turn his head and cough.

David finally falls back into the ring gripping at his genitals while the Icon approaches the ladder he just tipped over. He folds it up and carries it towards the ropes, where he sets it up diagonally through the top and middle cable. Obviously the Icon is looking to inflict some more damage on his opponent to ensure he’ll be unimpeded should he go for the belts.

He steps past his laid out partner curled up in a fetal position on the apron, not caring about Kingdom’s condition. His focus is entirely on the rising David who is cupping his family jewels. As soon as David gets upright Orlando chops him hard across the sternum then delivers a hard European Uppercut directly to his jaw.

Freak is dragged out of the corner being nailed to the top of the head with an elbow strike. These shots are severally disorientating David before he is swept up into the air onto Orlando’s shoulder. The Icon now rushes across the ring setting up for the running powerslam onto the slanted ladder. At the last second David slips off of Orlando’s shoulder though, pushing him forward at the ladder.

The Icon staggers forward into the ladder, almost falling into it before stopping himself just short of the menacing rungs. He now spins around just as Freak charges in for the clothesline from hell. That’s when Orlando catches the inbound challenger against his shoulder, lifting him into the air and spinning around into a spinebuster right on top of the ladder. David’s back hits the rungs hard, causing him to roar in pain.

Comeau: Ahhh, a nasty spinebuster right on top of the ladder.

Moore: How is it nasty? Did it grab your ass? If so your far too lucky.

The crowd is still groaning over that vicious impact while Orlando slowly gets to his feet. That’s when an agonizing Aurora clubs him over the upper back. The shot almost knocks Cruze from his feet before he is spun around into a hard forearm strike to the jaw. Aurora winces and reaches for her spine as she goes for a boot to his ribs. Orlando catches her foot and shoves it down, sending Rose around into a spin.

As soon as she turns to face Cruze she barrels right towards him and is caught around the waist, the champion delivering a release over head belly to belly suplex. Rose crashes upside down back first right on top of David and the ladder. Screams again emanate from the shocked crowd as Aurora rolls off of her partner, convulsing in pain.

A very fatigued and confused David remains on top of the ladder as Orlando grabs hold of the struts. He now lifts the ladder up into the air so that it forms a straight horizontal line, the other end supported by the cables. That’s when a surprisingly recovered Kingdom charges up behind Orlando, leapfrogging his partner and coming down seat first right on top of David’s sternum.

Moore: Ewww, Kingdom using his balls as a weapon. They must be made of cement or something.

Comeau: Actually he threw all of his weight down on top of Freak, further driving David’s spine into the ladder. What a grueling encounter we’ve already witnessed thus far but surprisingly the champs are in firm control.

David drops off of the ladder and lays on the canvas with glazed over eyes, unable to move. All the while Johnny holds his lower extremities and Orlando begins to drag the ladder towards the center of the ring. He has just started setting it up when Aurora gets to her feet, using the ropes as a prop. Kingdom spots her and charges at the vicious vixen who lunges into the air, landing on top of Johnny’s shoulders. He falls backwards over the ropes, dragging Kingdom into a hurricarana to the outside of the ring.

Both athletes collide with the thin outside mats to sickening results while Orlando steadies the ladder beneath the belts. He grits his teeth while scaling towards his championship, sweat beading down from his forehead to the canvas below.

Comeau: It doesn’t look like there is anyone left to oppose Cruze as he goes the belts.

Susie: How anti-climatic.

The Icon climbs closer and closer to the championship, which is just out of his arm’s length. On the outside of the ring Aurora is whipping Kingdom into the barricade, which he turns and slams into hard spine first. That’s when Rose charges at him only for the Team Leader to step out of the way. This causes Aurora to spring into the air, landing feet first on top of the barrier with a smug grin on her face. That’s when Kingdom jumps to the barricade beside her and lunges into the air, catching her around the neck and dragging her down into the front row of empty chairs with a diamond cutter.

The fans are going absolutely insane over what they just witnessed.

Orlando continues to scale the ladder with the fans going nuts, his hand extended upward for the belts. They are just out of his reach when he’s clubbed over the back from Freak. The shot causes Orlando to wince as he reaches for his spine, David stepping under him and wrapping his arms around his thighs. Freak rushes away from the ladder and throws Orlando over the ropes with a powerbomb right on top of the ladder extended from apron to the barricade.

Moore: DESTRO!

Comeau: Orlando just powerbombed onto that ladder outside of the ring! That has to be one of the sickest things I’ve ever seen.

Orlando’s crumbled body crashes hard into the ladder as he now lays there motionless, his eyes fluttering as they try to remain open. David leans on the ropes, glaring down at Orlando and then smirking sinisterly as his attention transfers to the turnbuckle.

Freak now approaches the corner, climbing it to the top rope with his back aimed towards the motionless Orlando. The fans are beginning to scream wildly as David stands upright and then flies from the top rope into the twisting Phoenix splash, crashing down right on top of the exposed ladder. Orlando was pulled out of the way by Kingdom, causing Freak to splash the ladder with incredible force sternum first.

He crashes with tremendous force against the steel, his eyes glazing over with the crowd again on their feet starting another holy shot chant.

Comeau: GOOD GOD!!

Moore: David just hit that ladder, what a meanie.

Mark: Twisting Phoenix Splash from the turnbuckle to that platform ladder on the outside. I’ve never seen such insanity!

The crowd is giving a standing ovation to what they just witnessed, absolutely mesmerized at this point by the brutality they’ve witnessed. Johnny now begins to climb up onto the ladder beside Freak, who is still sprawled out across its surface. He takes David around the neck, pulling him up to his feet then hoisting him into the air, delivering an Exodus Finale (Brainbuster DDT) right on top of the ladder platform.

Comeau: The EXODUS FINALE on top of the ladder!

Susie: That ladder must have strong abs to support those two.

The crowd is astonished as Freak and Kingdom lay on top of the ladder not moving, the packed Manhattan Center putting their hands together. Aurora is the only of the four standing, approaching the ladder in the middle of the ring and now beginning to scale it.

Mark: Look at this, Aurora is the only one active in this ladder match, she’s going for those coveted tag titles virtually unopposed.

Susie: Climb like a hippo Aurora, climb, CLIMB.

Rose’s excruciating pain debilitates her upward ascension, yet she’s already mere inches away from the ladder. She may feel the pain of that diamond cutter into the front row but she will let nothing stop her as her arm extends and snatches hold of the tag title belts.

Comeau: Aurora has got the belts, WE’VE GOT NEW CHAMPS!

Aurora pulls and tugs on the belts but can’t get them down off of the hook their hung from. She pulls down as hard as she can but still can’t get them loose. She is so preoccupied by the belts that she doesn’t realize Kingdom has entered the ring beneath her and taken hold of the ladder. He pulls it right out from under her, causing Aurora to now be suspended above the ring, holding onto the tag title belts that still won’t disconnect from the hook.

Susie: Hey, that looks fun!

Comeau: Oh no, oh no. Aurora hanging above the ring desperately holding onto those tag team title belts. She won’t let go, no, she can’t let go!

Moore: This is so exciting that I’m actually interested.

Orlando scoops up the ladder and then drives the top edge of it right into Aurora’s ribs. This impact knocks Aurora off of the belts and sends her plummeting from an extreme height spine first into the canvas.

Susie: BARONESS!

Mark: Aurora tumbling to the ring, who knows how many years this match has taken off of her career.

Kingdom staggers to the center of the ring, limping in the process then putting the ladder under the championship belts. Aurora rolls away from him grabbing at her spine and wincing in pain. Kingdom starts up the ladder, gritting through everything his body has suffered as he finds himself closing in on retaining the belts. That’s when Aurora lunges in and grabs him around the ankle with all of her remaining strength. Johnny maintains his grip on the ladder, refusing to relinquish it. He latches onto the ladder even tighter and his resolve becomes stronger, beginning to climb despite Rose gripping his leg.

Aurora begins to climb up the ladder behind him, trying to stop the Team Leader from reaching the straps even though it looks like her legs aren’t even working. She actually begins to climb over top of Kingdom, throwing forearm strikes into his back, yet Johnny still won’t let go of the ladder.

Mark: Aurora climbing up and Kingdom still holding on! I can’t believe Aurora isn’t paralyzed let alone still able to climb this ladder and stop Johnny from reaching those belts.

Susie: Pretty soon she’ll just be fighting with her detached head. Ewww, now I just thought about Dr. Hill in Re-Animator. I’m gonna go throw up.

Aurora has climbed over top of Kingdom and is reaching up for the title belts. That’s when Johnny pulls himself up the ladder and sticks his head under Rose’s seat. The crowd screams at the sight of Kingdom having Rose in the electric chair drop position basically at the top of the ladder when Aurora falls in reverse. She flips Johnny off of the ladder backwards into a reverse hurricarana, spiking him right on top of his head.

Comeau: AAAHHH…a reverse rana from Aurora off the ladder!

Susie: Hehehehe, now Kingdom’s gonna be more retarded than…..

Mark: Don’t put yourself down Susie.

Johnny rises to his knees with fluttering eyes then tumbles forward into the canvas, laying there motionless. Once again the fans are standing erupting over that last move. Aurora is already crawling towards the ladder, grabbing the rungs and beginning to drag herself towards the titles.

Every inch of her body is drained as she moves closer to the top, the gold inspires her to keep on going, despite her injuries. She reaches for the belts yet again having them in her grasp when a forehead is lobbed right into her ribs. The crowd is shocked to see Orlando Cruze having recovered from the powerbomb and now standing on top of the ladder.

Cruze is standing opposite Aurora, having her now doubled over then shooting his arm across her sternum. Every fan stands in anticipation as Orlando holds Rose in a rock bottom position then dives in reverse. To a thunderous applause Orlando connects with the flipping rock bottom off of ladder.

Mark: The SWITCHBLADE ROCKBOTTOM from the ladder!! They just destroyed each other!

Kingdom has now recovered and is pulling his exhausted body up the ladder towards the belts. Freak is in no condition to stop him after taking the Exodus Finale on top of the ladder. All he can do is look with desperate eyes towards the Team Leader as he continues to climb. Aurora is unconscious and unable to keep Kingdom from the belts, leaving him unimpeded.

The fans begin to scream wildly as Johnny reaches up and grabs the tag title belts, ripping them down off of the hook.

Comeau: THEY’VE DONE IT! Kingdom and Cruze have retained the Tag Team titles in the first round of the Quest for the Crowns tournament.

Moore: Wow, Team Patrick Stewart wins again, they’re as unbeatable as the Smirfs.

Johnny remains on top of the ladder, bent over it with both championship belts in his grasp. He looks down at Orlando who sits up on the canvas drenched in sweat, the two making eye contact for a long awkward period of time.

Mark: Kingdom and Cruze victorious but I think Christian Savior got what he wanted, because they had to go through hell to retain those belts.

Moore: I’ve been to hell before. Oh wait, that was Kentucky.

Johnny and Orlando continue to stare at one another in confusion as they have now advanced to the second round of the Quest for the Crowns Tournament. The fans give them, along with David Freak and Aurora Rose a standing ovation.

PLEASING PEOPLE

Christian: I think that should repay Dan’s confidence in me.

A chuckling Christian Savior lifts the remote from the surface of Douglas’ desk and switches off a television monitor. The TV positioned on the edge of the desk switches off while Savior spins around in Dan’s comfy chair to look up at a smirking Pat Evans. The Submission Champion is also amused by what has transpired tonight.

Pat Evans: I guarantee we’ve done the Conspiracy proud. I’m pretty sure Hurse is going to be gone for months showering.

Savior: And I’m positive that neither Kingdom nor Cruze are going to be in any condition to challenge for my World Championship.

Pat nods while rubbing at his stubble.

Evans: I have to admit it was a masterful stroke. Plus it softens them up for the Quest for the Crowns tournament, which we should have no problem winning.

Christian: Exactly, and if Krissie McMorris were here, instead of being off God only knows where, she’d congratulate me on taking care of her Aurora Rose, David Freak problem. And to top it all off, Jason Wheeler joins the Conspiracy right here tonight. So see, everyone is happy, all thanks to me.

Don’t count on it.

Smug expressions befall the faces of the Conspiracy members as a flabbergasted Sallie storms into the room. She makes her way straight towards Douglas’ desk with no hesitation before Christian holds a palm up in her direction.

Savior: HOLD IT…

In a hurry Christian grabs a stack of paper from inside of Dan’s desk then places them on top of it.

Christian: Proceed.

Sallie now slaps the papers off of the desk, sending them flying in all different directions.

Sallie: What the hell do you two think your doing?

Pat: Enjoying this nice climate controlled office.

Sallie: That’s not what I mean. If anyone should be running this show in Dan’s absence it’s me. Krissie and I are Douglas’ liaisons, not you!

An unsettling glint inhabits Savior’s eyes.

Savior: That may have been the case in the past, but things have changed now Sallie. It seems you can’t be trusted anymore.

Sallie is astonished by this accusation.

Sallie: WHAT!?!

Christian: To be honest you really haven’t been the same since I kidnapped that brat of yours. But if had I known you had some type of attachment to the little bitch maybe I would have hesitated to go through with said kidnapping.

Sallie: I love my daughter. You had no right to do what you did.

Savior: Don’t get your fallopian tubes in a knot Sallie. Deal with it, your daughter made perfect leverage against Orlando, and that’s all that mattered. Unless of course you’ve gone soft on us.

Pat: Don’t think we haven’t noticed those little googly eyes you’ve been making at Orlando lately.

Sallie: I do not have feelings for Orlando.

Evans: Excellent, then there shouldn’t be a problem.

Sallie lowers her head while shaking it, her words sounding much more intimidating now.

Sallie: Oh but there is a problem gentlemen. And I intend on fixing that problem soon enough.

The woman who brought Savior into the IWC turns and vacates the dressing room. She leaves a silent Christian and Pat behind, the two men cautiously glancing at each other.

Savior: Ewwww.

Christian wiggles his fingers out towards the door in a mocking manner to laughter from the Submission Champion.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Catch the Replay on Pay-Per-View

THE TRUTH

To a very mixed reaction the faces of Riggs and Psycho come into view. The duo is still exhausted and sweating profusely as they stand on opposite sides of a terrified Billy Mayne. He runs his shaking hand through his greasy hair while taking very deep breaths.

Billy: It’s times like these I really wish I hadn’t left that Heaven’s Gate cult.

A piercing stare from Psycho forces Mayne to get on with the interview, no matter how terrified he may be.

Mayne: I’m standing here backstage with the victorious Psycho and Riggs, and as much as it emotionally cripples me to say this, I guess congratulations on our order.

Riggs: Congratulations for WHAT!?!

Billy jumps a bit as the painted face of Riggs closes in on him.

Billy: Oh, let me think, how about your victory tonight?

Psycho: We’ve won nothing yet!

Once again the horrified Mayne finds himself perplexed, especially while surrounded by the two equally as menacing figures.

Mayne: Umm what’s left to win? Are you talking about the Halloween costume contest, because that’s not till next week’s show. And I’m kind of a shoe end for victory, I already bought my Eddie Munster costume and everything.

Psycho: No, I’ve spent enough time hiding my face behind a mask.

Billy: Are you sure?

The large hand of Riggs slaps down onto Billy’s shoulder, who has already suffered enough abuse tonight via that rolled up magazine.

Riggs: We haven’t won anything Billy because the Conspiracy are still in control. The Conspiracy is still ruining this company’s rich legacy, and until their out of the picture, we’ll never truly be victorious.

Psycho: And sadly, thanks to the half assed efforts of failures like Orlando Cruze, the Conspiracy seems to be getting stronger. They’re growing with the betrayal of Alex Ingelson and the impending initiation of Jason Wheeler.

A grin sweeps across the greasy features of Mayne’s unwashed face.

Mayne: I knew it.

Riggs: We all knew it Billy, your nothing special. Why else do you think I’d give Wheeler the Hopskotch at the Overbooked Extravaganza? I could see it in his eyes; I could see that his devotion to our cause was wavering. Jason is all about titles and main events, he doesn’t care about doing what’s right for this industry, he’s only ever cared about himself.

Psycho: And that’s why we took him out before he could abandon the cause and betray us. Sadly Psycho and Riggs didn’t finish what they started though, but that will change here tonight. Because unlike Orlando, and unlike Kingdom, we will take a stand against this abomination of a main event.

Riggs: Having Jason Wheeler vs. Christian Savior as the main event disgraces every principle that the IWC stands for.

Psycho: We can’t allow this disgusting, pathetic match to happen between two egotists who are destroying the credibility of the N.H.B Championship.

Riggs: We all know Jason is going to be selfish by trying to win the title instead of trying to destroy Savior.

Billy is even more bewildered but before he has the chance to speak up Psycho interjects.

Psycho: His goal should be the annihilation of Savior not selfishly adorning his body with gold. Jason fails to put the IWC ahead of himself, which makes him almost as bad as Christian and the Conspiracy. Of course we’re talking like the match will actually happen, if Savior offers the gold to Wheeler he’ll take it and graciously join the Conspiracy.

Riggs: And once he does, or doesn’t, join the Conspiracy Psycho and Riggs will be there to save the IWC.

Psycho: Because we’re the only two men willing to stand up for this company.

Psycho and Riggs turn and stroll down the corridor as Billy watches them leave, swallowing deeply. He sighs in relief while running the back of his hand across his brow.

Billy: Whew, thank God their not entering the costume contest, I spent my whole life savings on that Eddie Munster costume.

ROBIN BROOKS VS. MATT HODGES

Without warning, the arena lights switch over to a dark orange color. Then words manifest themselves onto the screen-

WORLD CLASS

The opening notes of "New Design" play throughout the arena, and soon after follows a robust reaction from the crowd.. Matt Hodges steps out from behind the curtain with a swagger to his step and his confident eyes transitioning between both his supporters as well as detractors. He smiles and slowly walks to the ring, an ever-condescending look upon his face.

When he reaches the ring, he walks up the stairs slowly and steps in between the second and third ropes. He walks to the far corner and steps up onto the second rope, overlooking the screaming, jovial fans.

Comeau: And here’s the man who shocked the entire IWC fanbase….

Moore: Can we say IWC Universe now?

Mark: Considering it’s absolutely retarded, no! But like I was saying, former SCW World Champion Matt Hodges stunned us all at the Overbooked Extravaganza when he announced that he’s officially signed an IWC contract.

Susie: I never got to sign a contract. I was just asked to suck a….

Comeau: No, no no no no…please refrain from finishing that sentence.

Hodges leans casually back first against the turnbuckle, unleashing a yawn in the process.

Tell me exactly
what am I supposed to do?
Now that I have
allowed you to beat me!
Do you think that
we could play another game?
Maybe I can win this time?
I kind of like
the misery you put me through.
Darling, you can trust me
completely.
If you even try
to look the other way,
I think that I could kill this time.

Rah! Rah!
Rah! Rah!

It doesn't really seem
I'm getting through to you.
Though I see you weeping so sweetly.
I think that you might
have to take another taste,
a little bit of hell this time.

Rah! Rah!
Lie to me!
Rah! Rah!
Lie to me!

Is she not right?
Is she insane?
Will she now run for her life
in the battle that ends this day?
Is she not right?!
Is she insane?!
Will she now run for her life
now that she LIED TO ME!

You always wanted
people to remember you.
You leave your little mark on
society!
Don't you know your wish
is coming true today?
Another victim dies tonight.

Rah! Rah!
Lie to me!
Rah! Rah!
Lie to me!

Is she not right?
Is she insane?
Will she now run for her life
in the battle that ends this day?
Is she not right?!
Is she insane?!
Will she now run for her life
now that she LIED TO ME!

Ramidi ma ma ba di ma!
Ramidi ma ma din do!
Ramidi ma ma ba di ma!
Ramidi ma ma ba di mo!
[all x3]

Is she really telling lies again?
Doesn't she realize she's in danger?

Eeeeeeeyow!

Is she not right?
Is she insane?
Will she now run for her life
in the battle that ends this day?
Is she not right?!
Is she insane?!
Will she now run for her life
now that she LIED TO ME!

The little bitch,
she went and she told A LIE!
Now she will never tell another.
A LIE!
The little bitch,
she went and she told A LIE!
NEVER FUCKING LIE TO ME!

The curtains start to move and out runs the energetic yet egotistical Robin Brooks, many of the fans disgusted by her presence. Lurking behind her is the tall and impressive Phantom, who’s stoic eyes take in all the fans on hand for this event. Brooks wears a smile on her face as she extends her arms out to her sides, pyrotechnics erupting. This flashes of light illuminate the X-Class Championship belt wrapped around her waist. Phantom steps up behind her with a disgruntled expression on his face. He taps on her shoulder as Brooks turns around in confusion, Phantom pointing to his chin several times, referring to that accidental superkick at the PPV. Robin continues to try and explain her mistake as the two head to the ring.

Mark: The second that Matt Hodges entered that ring he stepped on the bad side of the Alpha Generation, mostly Hurse who is still barricaded in that closet backstage. But now Robin Brooks has been volunteered on behalf of Hurse to take out “World Class” Hodges.

Moore: I volunteered once for experimental medication and it turned out wonderfully. I can hear my hair talking to me.

Comeau: Terrific. Anyhow this is the first time encounter of Robin Brooks and Matt Hodges, and ladies and gentlemen this should be a classic.

Robin steps up onto the apron, still explaining herself to Phantom while gripping the top rope. Her attention is not on Hodges whatsoever as she tries to placate her still angered make believe son. That’s when Hodges steps in and grabs the top rope, yanking inward on it. As a result Robin is sent flipping over the top cable and ducking into a roll as she hits the canvas.

The Black Widow ends up on her feet, turning towards Hodges in a stunned state. The bell now sounds as a smirking Hodges waves at Robin, having officially gotten her attention.

Mark: Hodges slingshotting Brooks into this match to officially get things underway.

Moore: Wow, that looks more fun than sticking my hand in an easy bake oven.

Hodges licks his lips and bends forward with his hands cupped over his knees, inspecting the outraged Black Widow. The two now begin to circle each other with Robin mouthing obscenities and Hodges winking in her direction. The fans are ubber excited to be seeing Hodges first official match in the IWC, the majority of them standing as they slap the barricades to create quite a rumble.

For the first time in the history of his career Matt finds himself shocked to hear his name being chanted.

Comeau: Can you feel the electricity in this building right now?

Susie: Yep, I have my finger in an electrical socket. Weeee.

Robin is disgusted by the reaction she’s hearing from the fans, shaking her head in sheer repulsion. Once Matt spots her reaction he stands up and points to one side of the building, eliciting a massive reaction. He now does a Hogan-esque cupping of the ear to amplify their response.

Mark: Hodges really getting under Brooks skin with this posturing for the crowd.

The former SCW World Champion gives Brooks a thumbs up and a confident smile while the Black Widow stomps her foot in anger, demanding that they actually go at it. Matt sighs and the two progress towards each other, yet again starting to circle one another, tactically plotting out their first offensive strike.

Finally to a loud reaction Brooks and Hodges lunge forward into a collar elbow. They jockey for positioning with the crowd anxiously anticipating Matt’s first move. That’s when the reaction and mood in the arena drastically changes as an irate, almost green Hurse is seen making his way down the ramp. A steel chair is clutched tightly in his hand and his sickened eyes are focused on Hodges.

Susie: Look, it’s Hurse, how’d he get out of that closet? And how come he isn’t sharing any beans?

Mark: Oh great, note to the Manhattan Center staff, buy stronger doors.

Almost immediately Brooks and Hodges break their collar elbow, stepping back and turning to observe the inbound Hurse. The Master of Control steps right past Phantom and slaps the giant on his shoulder.

Hurse: Come on sonny boy, let’s get this scoundrel. There’s no way we’re gonna let this filth compete in OUR ring.

Phantom is conflicted yet sighs and follows Hurse right towards the ring.

Comeau: Oh no, we haven’t even seen one move in this match and already Hurse and Phantom are interjecting themselves.

Hodges glances towards a smiling Brooks, who nods her head in a devious manner. She begins to slowly inch her way towards Matt with her palms raised in the air while Phantom and Hurse climb up onto the apron, surrounding Hodges.

Moore: This is forty on one.

Mark: Three on one Susie, three on one, but the odds are equally as distressing.

Another “Hodges” chant commences from the crowd as he refuses to flee and instead stands his ground against these three approaching rivals. Hurse slips through the ropes into the ring and now raises the chair, rushing straight at Hodges who pulls back his fist in the ready position.

That’s when the chair slips out of Hurse’s hand and falls to the canvas, coinciding with Matt lunging forward as the two men embrace with a big hug.

Comeau: WHAT!?!

The crowd is shocked as Hodges and Hurse share a manly hug in the center of the ring. They both hop up and down excitedly to a chorus of loud boos. Brooks stands back laughing so hard that she has to wipe tears from her eyes.

Moore: Awww, their settling their differences with a hug. All matches should end like this, because it makes me horny.

Comeau: I can’t believe that we’ve been forced to endure yet another Alpha Generation swerve. This is worse than being rickrolled.

All the people who were supporting Hodges just a few short moments ago are now verbally ripping him to shreds. However, Hodges does not care as Hurse continues to squeeze him excitedly. Phantom watches all of this with utter confusion, his eyes awkwardly blinking as he stands on the apron.

Matt and Hurse now turn extending a pear of arms out towards Brooks, who cups her hand over her mouth. She then shrugs and steps forward, embracing the two men as they all three huddle together in one big hug. Phantom smiles and steps over the ropes, moving towards the trio to get in on the hug. Unfortunately Hurse wedges his hand to the big man’s chest and refuses to allow him to join the party.

Mark: I’m still sitting here in shock, apparently Matt Hodges has aligned himself with the Alpha Generation.

Susie: I’m shocked too, but that’s because I still have a finger in this electrical socket.

The outrage of the fans is exacerbated as Robin steps to one side of Hodges and Hurse occupies the other. Both competitors lift Matt’s arms up high in a victorious pose. A very smug and manipulative expression resides on Matt’s face as the crowd jumps all over him as well as Brooks and Hurse. The trio of manipulative individuals grin all the wider as the fans unleash their hatred upon them.

LAW & ORDER

Hellkat: I called this meeting of brilliant legal minds together on behalf of my husband.

The maniacal, frightening Hellkat lurks in Fully Loaded’s dressing room as Axl Evermore stands behind her holding a bag of ice to his neck. She stands in the center of the room, overlooking a small audience.

Hellkat: As you all may be presently aware of Desolation suffered an injury at the Overbooked Extravaganza thanks to that great big cheater miccheeteren Johnny Kingdom. I’m here now to set the record straight about why he lost and how he was injured so we can begin to pursue legal avenues to get our revenge.

Axl Evermore: I bet it had something to do with that damned Essa Rios.

Hellkat holds her palm up to Axl.

Hellkat: Close, but don’t cut me off or you’ll find a dead mouse in your boot. You see, what happened is my husband accidentally walked past David Freak backstage who had far too much baby oil slathered all over his pudgy body and as thus the gleam from his skin temporarily blinded Desolation. This left him in no condition to face Kingdom, which Johnny took full advantage of, even going as far as to heinously hit two brainbusters on my husband.

Max Craven: How badly was he injured?

The camera zooms out to reveal Craven seated on the edge of a couch, still covered in sweat.

Hellkat: You’ll find out shortly, but right now let’s concentrate on this lawsuit. As you can see I’ve assembled an all star team of lawyers, and I’ll be delegating your duties right now. Ladder….

Max looks up to his right at the freakishly tall ladder. This week it sports a very nice tux and has a legal briefcase taped to one of its rungs.

Hellkat: You will dig up any dirt you can on Johnny Kingdom. I’m talking about bugging his phones, finding out if he has an actual personality, rifling through his trash which I imagine consists mainly of worn out muppet porn DVDs and so and so forth.

Ladder remains stoic as it takes in all of this information.

Hellkat: Dented up Emo Trash Can…

The very same emo trash can that Desolation shooting star pressed several weeks ago appears on the sofa beside Ladder. A great deal of tape has been wrapped around it and it seems that some of the dents have been banged out.

Hellkat: You will be our sassy little assistant who will probably end up being raped or murdered when everything starts to go well. Irwin R. Schyster….

For some reason a severally underpaid Mike Rotunda is present in full I.R.S. digs.

Hellkat: You will ensure that suing Kingdom for fifty zillion dollars breaks no tax laws. And now no one will ever be able to tell me I haven’t urinated on Mike Rotunda.

The former I.R.S finds himself disturbed by this news while Hellkat continues.

Hellkat: And finally Hellkat, THAT’S ME, will valiantly represent my husband in court.

Craven: Is this honestly the best legal team you could find?

Hellkat: Well where is the guy who handles your paternity suits?

Max: He died six months ago.

Hellkat: What a pathetic excuse. It doesn’t matter anyway because this legal team will overcome Johnny Kingdom, we will get our fifty zillion dollars, we will get revenge on that traitorous Cartel title belt, and we will get revenge for my husband.

Evermore scratches at the back of his head.

Evermore: You know, it might actually help if you let us know Desolation’s condition.

For once Hellkat appears almost despondent.

Hellkat: Fine, but I’ll warn you, your not going to like what you see.

Evermore is intrigued, as his partner while Hellkat approaches the broom closet, opening it up and then stepping inside. A wheelchair is then pushed out with Desolation seated in it. He is slouched over backwards with a melancholy expression on his face, his mouth hanging slightly open with saliva seeping out. A big Eric Cartman plushy is wedged under his motionless arm.

Axl: So he turned into the masked Golga?

Hellkat: NYAH. I wish, but apparently the two brainbusters he took has made Desolation….

She takes a deep breath, paining her to say it.

Hellkat: …retarded.

Desolation slouches back in his wheelchair now trying to eat the stuffed Eric Cartman doll.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

IWC….At least Chuck Taylor wont’ scare your children

MENDING OLD WOUNDS

10...

9...

8...

7...

6...

The crowd starts booing as the countdown continues, as it signifies the arrival of a certain superstar. Their jeers quiet as the countdown reaches...

5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

A series of bright fireworks go off as people yell and boo the recognizable countdown.

You think you know me?!

I’m…

As the smoke clears, Christian Savior is seen with his back to the audience, his arms outstretched!

Falling in the black
Slipping through the cracks
Falling to the depths can I ever go back
Dreaming of the way it used to be
Can you hear me

Spinning around, the figure reveals himself to be Christian Savior, wearing his black pants and phoenix-logo shirt, along with a long black trenchcoat. The World and N.H.B title belts are wrapped around his shoulders as he tilts his head back and forth, planting a kiss on them both.

Falling in the black
Slipping through the cracks
Falling to the depths can I ever go back
Falling inside the black
Falling inside falling inside the black

Savior makes his way down the ring, ignoring what words are being shouted by the audience.

Tonight I'm so alone
This sorrow takes ahold
Don't leave me here so cold
(Never want to be so cold)

Your touch used to be so kind
Your touch used to give me life
I've waited all this time, I've wasted so much time

Don't leave me alone
Cause I barely see at all
Don't leave me alone, I'm

Savior climbs up onto the apron, removing his coat. He discards it to a stagehand then slips through the ropes with both titles still shimmering over his shoulders. Without delay he makes his way across the ring and requests the use of a microphone.

Comeau: As if we haven’t heard enough from Christian tonight now he’s got hold of the microphone yet again.

Moore: Maybe he’ll say something funny, like boogers. Te-he.

Mark: I imagine this has something to do with his statement about Jason Wheeler joining the Conspiracy.

Susie: You have a very limited imagination.

The condescending Savior stares up the ramp rather eagerly.

Savior: The wait is over, the time is now. Jason Wheeler, bring your ass out here and give your baby bro a big old hug. You know you want to associate with greatness, and it doesn’t get any greater than the IWC World Champion.

The fans are disgusted as Christian again smooches with his IWC World title belt.

Christian: You know, we’ve been fighting for so long I’ve completely forgotten what turned us into enemies, although I’m assuming it had something to do with your ego. But I’m willing to forgive you just his once Jason, so come on bro, just waltz on our here and….

The End of All Hope hits the speakers and cuts Savior off in mid-sentence. His excited eyes look up quickly towards “The Black Cat” Jason Wheeler who has sauntered onto the stage. Jason has his arms crossed and is shaking his head with a slight smirk on his face before progressing towards the ring. With no hesitation he jumps to the apron then front flips over the top rope into the ring, landing almost right in front of the casual Christian.

Mark: Jason Wheeler is here, but let’s hear what he has to say before jumping to conclusions like Psycho, Riggs and Billy Mayne.

Moore: And he flipped, did you see him flip? That was cool, that was cooler than Angelina Jolie’s lips!

Jason smugly observes his confident brother as Christian paces before him.

Savior: Alright big brother, we’ve been going through long enough, it’s time to drop the whole act.

A confused Wheeler mouths the word “act” in shock.

Christian: It’s time for the bothers to re-unite and the Conspiracy to take out everyone who ever slighted us. Can you imagine the combined powers of the Black Cat, the Rising Phoenix, the Submission Champion and the President of the IWC. We’d be UNSTOPPABLE.

Jason rubs at his jaw, as if contemplating it.

Savior: Join us Wheeler, you’ve got no one else but me, your family. Join the Conspiracy and fulfill all of your fantasies. All I ask in return is that you apologize.

The boos intensify in the building as Wheeler nods his head in a mocking manner.

Christian: Just tell me your sorry for betraying me and we can become the most powerful army in the history of wrestling. What do you say big bro?

The mic is thrust into Jason’s palm as he gazes down at it. He lifts the microphone to his lips, contemplating his answer as the whole arena waits on pins and needles. That’s when the mic is abruptly dropped and Jason sticks two middle fingers up into Christian’s shocked face.

Comeau: How’s that for an answer.

Moore: I can answer any question by flipping people off? AWESOME.

The fans are cheering as an official slides into the ring.

CHRISTIAN SAVIOR © VS. JASON WHEELER

The bell rings as Savior takes his championship and swings it immediately at Jason’s head. His brother avoids this dastardly strike by ducking it and rushing into the ropes behind Christian. He jumps over the cables to the apron then springs to the top rope, Savior turning around as the Black Cat flies through the air connecting with a lariat.

Comeau: Springboard lariat from Wheeler kicking off this N.H.B title bout. The war these two have waged finally comes full circle right here on what has been an unbelievable night.

Moore: Something tells me I’ll be shouting a lot more GI Joe names.

Mark: LAME.

The Challenger rolls to his feet and turns towards a rising Savior, immediately taking out one of his legs with a front dropkick to the shin. Savior flips over forward and lands on his back, Wheeler rolling away from him to a standing base. He immediately rushes at the cables off to Christian’s side, springing to the middle one then taking flight. He twists around in mid-air before crashing down leg first right across the champion’s throat.

Mark: Wheeler all fired up for this emotional N.H.B title bout.

Moore: He’s madder than the Mad Hatter, and he’s just as short.

Savior is gasping for air as he rolls towards the ropes, grabbing hold of the cables and beginning to stand up. Obviously Christian wasn’t counting on such fast paced action to kick start this contest as Jason comes roaring towards him.

Christian sidesteps an inbound Wheeler and pushes him along through the ropes. This causes Wheeler to have to grab the middle cable and transition his body, landing feet first on the apron. Savior turns around and charges at Jason who bends forward and sticks his head through the ropes, his cranium ending up under the seat of his long time rival.

The Black Cat stands up and back drops Savior right over the ropes, sending him plummeting to the outside mats with great force. Savior splats across the mats reaching for his kidneys in absolute shock over this physicality from his own brother.

Despite his pain he starts to stand up right as Jason lunges to the middle rope and flips over backwards into a moonsault. In mid-air however, Wheeler twists around so that he crashes back first right into Savior’s shoulder, knocking both men down to the mats to a rousing response from the crowd.

Mark: Wheeler using his own body as a weapon, taking that big risk greater reward approach to this heated confrontation.

Moore: I do the same whenever I microwave waffles while taking a bath.

The fans are still going nuts as Wheeler approaches the ring, grabbing the tarp hung from the apron and lifting it out of his way. He now reaches under the squared circle and retrieves a kindo stick, swinging it around his wrist in a menacing manner. The Challenger now swings the stick right at a rising Christian’s skull only for the Rising Phoenix to duck it. As a result the stick slams against the top of the barricade, Wheeler turning around and receiving a hard big boot right to the face.

This impact knocks Jason over the barricade and into the crowd, the fans clearing out of his way. Christian leans on the apron taking deep breathes and trying to recover before snatching the kindo stick off of the mats. He lifts it over his head and approaches Jason with a diabolical luster in his eyes, prepared to take his brother’s head off with the weapon.

That’s when Jason stands up behind the barricade, inexplicably holding a beer which he takes a swig of then spits directly into Christian’s eyes. Savior drops the cane and begins to swipe at his burning pupils in agony. He leans against the steel steps still trying to cleanse his eyeballs of the beer.

Susie: Hey, how come Jason gets to drink a beer but I don’t?

Comeau: Because you don’t have enough brain-cells left to sacrifice.

Jason discards the glass of alcohol and then springs onto the barricade, taking flight towards his distracted brother. Savior suddenly sidesteps his sibling and pushes him down face first into the steel steps with devastating results. The impact inflicts great damage to Wheeler, causing him to stagger backwards awkwardly blinking his eyes as he tries to remain conscious.

That’s when Christian sweeps his legs out from under him, causing Jason to land on his back with Savior holding onto his shins. Savior drops back and catapults Wheeler through the air, sending him flying face first into the exposed steel turnbuckle post. The skull of the Challenger connects with great force against the steel as Jason now crumbles to the mats.

Comeau: Savior catapulting his brother into the tunbuckle.

Moore: These two seriously need to take a page from the Winslows and listen to that “We Are Family” song, it cures all wrongs.

Jason is swiping at his forehead as he tries his best to remain conscious, already forcing himself up to his feet. Although he can barely stabilize his legs beneath him Jason stands just long enough to turn and be smacked right between the eyes with the kindo stick. A loud gasp is heard from the crowd as the cane connects with skull, knocking Jason right back down to the mats.

A maniacal Savior steps over his brother and swings the cane right down into his ribs at this point. He now does it again and again and again, wearing Wheeler out with the stick before finally tossing it into the crowd. Savior now grabs Jason around the neck, pulling him to his feet and rolling his brother into the ring. He slides in himself and crawls into the cover.

The referee drops to make the count.

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Jason launches his shoulder from the ring while keeping a palm on his banged up forehead.

Mark: Wheeler suffering multiple shots from the Singapore cane but he is remaining in this very physical N.H.B title bout.

Moore: Those are major OUCHIES!

Savior sits Wheeler up on the canvas and immediately locks him in a rear chinlock. He’s got his arms tightly clamped about Jason’s neck, choking the very life from his body. However, Wheeler will not be kept down, least not of all by his younger brother. He starts to force himself to his feet, both men standing up with Savior still twisting and ripping at the neck with the rear chinlock. That’s when Jason twists his body, bending forward and wedging his shoulder to Christian’s ribs.

Savior locks on a front chancery as Jason powers him backwards into the turnbuckle spine first. This impact causes Christian to almost break the front chancery but somehow he keeps it applied and now pulls himself up the corner in reverse. He sits on the top rope about to launch himself off into a tornado DDT.

Before the Champion can connect Jason lobs a well timed right hand far south of the beltline. Christian’s eyes widen from his sheer pain as Wheeler lunges into the air, wrapping his legs around his opponent’s neck and giving him a hurricarana off the top rope. The fans are stunned by Jason’s sheer vertical leap which sends Savior flipping over and slamming into the ring.

Comeau: What a hurricarana by Wheeler!

Moore: He jumped higher than the aliens in the Arrival. They had cricket legs Mark, it was fascinating!

Mark: I believe you, now let go of my tie!

Christian reaches for his kidneys and starts rolling to his knees when Wheeler blasts him across the jaw with a right hand. He takes Savior by the hair and pulls him to his feet before delivering a standing dropkick right to his brother’s jaw. The kick sends Savior spiraling into the turnbuckle, falling against it for support.

Jason now comes charging in and jumps extremely high into the air, landing right on top of Savior’s shoulders and sternum. As soon as he lands in this seated base he begins to deck Christian to the forehead over and over again, the crowd reacting with great applause.

That’s before Christian wraps his arms around Jason’s waist and begins to rush out of the corner going for a powerbomb. However, Wheeler snaps back flipping Savior over into a hurricarana. Surprisingly Savior rolls through though, causing Jason to end up on the back of his shoulders with Christian sitting up wedging his shoulders to the back of his Challenger’s thighs.

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Wheeler kicks out, rolling over in reverse to his feet as Christian does the same. The World and N.H.B Champion rushes forward into a lariat only to have Wheeler duck it, catching both of his sibling’s arms and dragging him down into the backslide.

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Christian kicks out, rolling over in reverse to his feet as Jason stands up in front of him. The quick Christian takes the Black Cat around the neck, setting up for the diamond cutter. Before he can connect Jason frees his head and wraps his arms around Savior’s waist, dropping into a backwards roll. He pulls Savior down with him, ending up seated on the back of the Champion’s thighs, folding his body up like an accordion.

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Savior kicks out, launching Wheeler forward.

Comeau: A series of close nearfalls between Champion and Challenger. These two know each other very well.

Susie: Are they in competitive roller derby together?

Mark: No, they’re brothers.

Moore: SINCE WHEN?

Jason staggers forward after this kick out, twisting around and charging at the rising Savior. As soon as he steps in the Rising Phoenix lunges high into the air, catching Wheeler around the neck with the diamond cutter. Jason crashes hard into the canvas, rolling over onto his back while the double champion crawls into the cover. He hooks both of Wheeler’s legs for the pin.

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At the last second Wheeler lobs his shoulder from the ring, rolling away from Savior to the outside of the ring. He falls to his knees on the mats, palming his face in pain.

Mark: Savior was seconds away from victory after connecting with the diamond cutter. Jason has certainly put all his naysayers to shame thus far, showing that he does indeed have that fighting spirit going into this match.

An aching Wheeler gets to his feet still holding his neck when Christian dives through the ropes feet first, dropkicking Jason to the upper back. The impact sends Jason rushing forward face first into the top edge of the barricade. His skull bashes against it violently and causes every fan to cringe. Jason stands up after the collision and reveals that his nose is awkwardly bent and a huge gash has been opened across the bridge between his eyes.

Susie: ZARTAN!

Mark: Oh God, Wheeler’s nose looks like it’s been horribly broken after that face first collision with the barricade! Who know how much damage that just did to his brain.

Savior stands up on the apron then rushes across it, diving off into a lariat to the upright Wheeler’s throat. Jason collapses to his back with Savior coming down beside him, smirking from ear to ear. The disgusting grin exacerbates the rage of the fans as Christian approaches his brother, dragging him up to his feet.

The second Wheeler reaches an upright base Christian boots him viciously under the jaw. The stiff impact sends Jason collapsing into the steel steps. He twists around and slams against the stairs face first, leaving a bloody smear on the steps. Finally he collapses onto his back, his face quickly becoming a crimson mask.

Now Savior approaches the barricade, grabbing one of the steel plates attached to it and ripping it from the barrier. He pulls it towards the ring and sets the huge steel plate up diagonally against the apron. It is now in an upright yet diagonal position, ready to inflict further suffrage.

Mark: And this brutal N.H.B title bout is about to be kicked up a notch.

Moore: He’s made himself a little handicap ramp. Quick, get me a wheelchair and one of those cool handicap stickers.

The very exhausted Wheeler begins to stand up with claret just dripping off of his face when Savior scoops him up into the air. He steps towards the steel barricade plate and scoop slams Wheeler back first right into it. His light body bounces off of the steel and sends him into convulsions as he rolls around on the mats.

Comeau: A scoop slam into that huge steel plate!

A bloodied Wheeler rolls around agonizing, gripping at his spine all the while. Savior methodically approaches his brother, helping the Black Cat up to his feet and beginning to drag him up the ramp still grinning deviously. They reach the top of the ramp when Savior scoops his sibling up to his shoulder and then charges forward at the steel setting around the entry way.

He attempts to drive Jason face first into it when the Black Cat slips off of his shoulder, landing on his feet behind him. Christian turns around when the Challenger bolts at him only to be caught by the leg and flapjacked face first into the steel struts supporting the titontron. However, Jason catches hold of the steel before connecting with it and now kicks down into the side of Christian’s jaw. The stomp causes Savior to staggers backwards, looking frazzled while Wheeler is perched on the steel strut above him.

Jason turns around cautiously on the strut and now dives forward at Savior, landing right on top of his shoulders. The crowd is stunned before Christian counters with a sit-out powerbomb right on top of the steel stage.

Mark: OHHH! Christian just, he just powerbombed Wheeler right on top of the stage!

Susie: These guys need to stop trying to be like Spider-Man, their not even wearing the blue pajamas.

Both Savior and Wheeler are down with the crowd still reeling over this action. They stand to get a better view of an exasperated Savior crawling into the cover on the bloodied Wheeler. He hooks his leg for the pinfall.

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NO! Jason kicks out to a loud eruption from the crowd. As a result Christian sits up, mumbling obscenities beneath his breath and turning towards the official. Referee Wright recalls what Savior did to him at the Overbooked Extravaganza, holding his palms up defensively and informing him that Wheeler kicked out right before three.

Despite his frustration Christian pulls Wheeler’s bloodied, broken body to his feet and begins to drag him towards the ring. He briefly stops to blast Jason over the back with a forearm strike, then spins him around into a hard right hand. This strike causes the claret drenched Jason to stagger backwards into that steel plate positioned diagonal against the apron.

Christian backs away from him before arrogantly bending forward, hands pressed to his knees.

Comeau: Now Christian is setting up for the Blaze of Glory. What more are these two going to put each other through?

Moore: An entire season of Gilmore Girls?

The plotting Savior now rushes forward and dives at Wheeler who steps out of the way at the last second. As a result Savior lunges face first into the steel plate, smashing his body against it to a deafening roar from the crowd. Christian tumbles off of the steel and drops to the mats, looking greatly disorientated.

Susie: Why’d he spear the steel plate? That bully.

Comeau: Wheeler getting out of the way of the Blaze of Glory just in the nick of time! I don’t know how he had the remaining energy to do that.

Christian sluggishly begins to stand up holding his forehead when a bloodied Wheeler delivers a basement dropkick to his lower back. The shot sends Savior charging forward and bashing face first into the exposed tunbuckle post. Christian bounces off of the steel then tumbles to the mats, Wheeler obtaining some vindication after his earlier collision with the turnbuckle.

A shaken Savior rolls towards the barricade, sitting himself up back first against it. He tries to remain conscious before a crazed Wheeler charges in and throws himself at Christian back first upside down. The senton style collision drives Savior forcefully back first against the barricade to another loud response from the packed crowd.

Mark: Wheeler throwing himself at Savior yet again, despite what his body has been put through in this insane title bout.

Moore: I throw myself at people all the time, it’s why I’ve been hit with so many sexual harassment lawsuits.

A “Wheeler” chant has commenced from the crowd as Jason sluggishly begins to get to his feet, the blood on his face beginning to dry. He grabs Christian by the hair, dragging him to his feet then rolling him into the ring under the ropes. The Rising Phoenix ends up sprawled out across his back in the center of the squared circle while Wheeler stands up on the apron, taking hold of the top rope.

Comeau: Jason could be going for that springboard 450 that he’s employed to finish off Christian in the past.

Moore: It’s going to end already? Good, this chair is making my butt hurt.

Mark: I doubt it’s the chair.

Wheeler springs to the top rope and now takes flight with the 450 only to have Christian roll out of the way. As a result Jason ducks into a forward roll, ending up right on his feet then turning towards Savior who comes barreling in for the spear.

Wheeler leapfrogs Christian who ends up speeding into the ropes behind him. He bounces off the ropes and comes back in at Wheeler who lunges into the air upside down, reaching back with his legs and hooking them under Christian’s armpits. He falls to the canvas and pulls Savior over into a forward roll, ending up seated on his chest and holding down the back of the Champion’s legs.

The crowd is going nuts as the official makes the count.

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Christian just kicks out in time, saving his No Holds Barred title.

Comeau: Oh my, Jason so close to winning the N.H.B title there.

Moore: Can we just say he won it so I can take a nap?

Wheeler rolls backwards to his feet as an exhausted Savior begins to stand up in front of him. The moment that Savior gets to his knee Jason almost beheads him with a lethal shin kick to the side of the head. Savior sways from side to side as Jason takes him around the neck then hooks his leg, lifting Christian to his feet as he sets up for the Excalibur.

Savior is able to spin his body free though, immediately taking Wheeler by the wrist and pulling him into a front chancery. He now grabs the back of Jason’s tights, setting up for the elevated DDT on his bloodied opponent. He begins to lift up on Wheeler when the Black Cat sticks out his leg and connects with an inside trip, forcing Christian to tumble backwards to the canvas.

Jason turns his back towards Savior and flips over in reverse, going for a standing moonsault. That’s when Christian rolls out of the way, causing the Challenger to change up his move, and landing gracefully on his feet instead of connecting with the moonsault.

Christian jumps to his feet and then goes for the diamond cutter, catching Wheeler around his claret smeared face. That’s when Jason pushes him off into the ropes, sending Savior into the cables. Christian bounces off the cables and comes back in at Wheeler who catches him with the Claim to Fame (Sky High Press). Savior is slammed down hard into the ring as Wheeler sits up going for the pin.

Comeau: A new champion on the verge of being crowned!

Moore: This is going to be bigger than Jay Leno’s chin!

Referee Wright drops and begins to make the count to a loud reception from the fans.

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New Champion, new Champion, wait, no! Right before the third slap of the canvas Riggs enters the ring and lunges forward into the shining wizard right to Wheeler’s face.

Comeau: NO! Riggs breaking up the three count by attacking his former partner!

Moore: I thought clowns were suppose to be nice and juggle apples!

Jason has been rendered unconscious by this shinning wizard as Riggs stands up and begins to stomp down at his bloodied body. All the while Psycho has now slid into the ring as well, stepping over Christian with a steel chair in hand. He lifts up high into the air then drives it down hard into Christian’s ribcage.

Mark: Like it or not it appears that Psycho and Riggs are making good on their promise. They said that they wouldn’t let this ABOMINATION of a match go down tonight and they were serious. In the process though, they’re screwing Wheeler out of the N.H.B Championship.

Moore: That’s good for Christian, but bad for Jason. I’m so good at observing things, like this match and my, um, um, shoe size.

Psycho throws aside the chair and places his foot to the World Champion’s throat, choking the life out of him. All the while Riggs continues to stomp down at his bloodied forearm partner. He now bends down over Wheeler so that their face to face.

Riggs: Your weak Wheeler, you let the title CONTROL your life, it distracts you from what you really should be doing in this match. DESTROYING THE CONSPIRACY!

Riggs places Jason in a side headlock and now begins to punch him repeatedly to the forehead, apparently enraged that Wheeler was going for the win instead of destroying Savior. That’s when to an arena shaking ovation, Orlando Cruze and Johnny Kingdom come bolting down the ramp towards the ring.

Moore: It’s the Mr. Clean Army!

Mark: The Tag Team Champions rushing the ring! After the curveball Savior threw at them earlier they aren’t about to let Christian skate by with his championship yet again.

Kingdom and Orlando slide into the ring, jumping to their feet and finding themselves face to face with both Riggs and Psycho. The psychotic duo have risen to greet the champions, as they briefly glance at each other then into the faces of the Icon and the Team Leader.

Psycho: Well, well, it’s the FAILURES!

Psycho glares right into Orlando’s eyes as he utters these words. This prompts Orlando to lob a fist right into the Sadistic One’s jaw. Now Riggs lunges at Kingdom, the two coming to blows. The crowd is going nuts as the Tag Champs are brawling with Psycho and Riggs.

Comeau: Things have broken down between these two teams! Apparently Psycho and Riggs attacking Orlando and Kingdom because the champs failed to destroy the Conspiracy. This is insanity!

Referee Wright stands back unable to do anything about this due to the fact that this match is no holds barred. Kingdom and Riggs brawl towards the ropes before Johnny is caught with a knee to the ribs, doubling him over. Riggs now jumps into the air for a leg lariat only for Kingdom to catch him on top of his shoulder, standing up and throwing him over the ropes.

Riggs tumbles to the mats, rolling across them onto his feet and holding his back when Johnny dives over the cables into a crossbody. He crashes down right on top of the painted warrior to screams from the crowd. Inside of the ring Orlando is repeatedly jabbing Psycho to the jaw before he is booted to the ribs, doubling him over. Psycho now drags Cruze down skull first into the ring with a vicious DDT.

The impact causes the Icon to roll across the ring into the turnbuckle, sitting against it for support. Psycho shouts in a deranged condition at the former World Champion.

Psycho: This war doesn’t have room for failures Cruze. You failed to take out the Conspiracy and that makes you just as culpable as them!

Psycho now turns around walking right into a spear from Christian Savior. The fans react with shock as Psycho is driven hard into the canvas back first.

Comeau: Savior now taking out Psycho with the Blaze of Glory.

Susie: This is crazier than a Hellkat promo!

Psycho grips at his ribs and rolls to the outside of the ring while Savior turns around to face the rising Wheeler’s back. Jason gets to an upright base with the help of the ropes, painfully turning towards Christian who catches him with the code breaker. Jason’s bloody face bounces off of the diabolical Savior’s knees, causing him to crumble to the canvas, now completely laid out.

Christian crawls into the cover, hooking Jason’s leg with the fans screaming loudly.

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Boos echo throughout the building before the fans realize that Wheeler has kicked out, having launched his shoulder from the ring at the last second.

Comeau: Somehow Jason got his shoulder up after the codebreaker! Talk about a wild main event.

Christian rises to his feet and now bends forward, hands palming his knees in preparation for the spear. A demonic twinkle lingers in his eyes as Jason deliberately begins to stand, every inch of him in utter agony. Christian now begins to charge forward for another spear when he’s grabbed by the shoulder and spun around into the Rock Bottom by Orlando.

The roof is almost blown off the building at the sight of Cruze laying Christian out. The Icon now rolls out of the ring as Jason turns around and charges forward, jumping into the air with a standing shooting star press. He crashes down right on top of Savior, hooking his leg for the pin.

Mark: The Rock Bottom followed by the standing shooting star press! Will it be enough to finish off Christian!?!

Susie: Quick, make a wish. I’m gonna wish my fingers are made of chicken.

The fans are on their feet going nuts as the official drops down making the count. On the outside of the ring Kingdom and Cruze are still brawling with Riggs and Psycho while the fans chant along with each slap of the canvas.

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3!

A triumphant roar is heard from the crowd as Jason Wheeler has just won the No Holds Barred Championship.

Mark: He’s done it, I cannot believe it, but Jason Wheeler has just become the new N.H.B champ.

Susie: Well your wish came true, now where my chicken fingers!?!

The fans are still on their feet erupting while an exhausted, bloodied Wheeler forces himself to his feet. The referee raises his arm into the air as Jason almost collapses due to the brutality he’s suffered. He still has the strength to take the N.H.B title from the official’s hands though before dropping to his knees.

As sweat streams down his body Jason lifts the N.H.B gold towards his face, pressing it against his possibly broken nose. Christian rolls to his side, trying to get up as his jaw drops with the realization that his N.H.B title has been stolen from him thanks to his own brother and Orlando Cruze.

Wheeler continues to kneel and lean face first into the gold plate of his newly won title.

Mark: Christian Savior’s six month N.H.B title reign has been ended, a new champion has been crowned here tonight on Riot! and Orlando Cruze obtained some vindication. What an emotional moment.

Moore: It’s so emotional it’s making me minstrel.

Jason approaches one of the corners, climbing it and lifting the N.H.B belt above his head to a rousing ovation from the crowd. All the while Riggs and Psycho are still brawling with the Team Leader and the Icon as they battle up the ramp towards the backstage area. Inside of the ring Savior’s features are trembling in anger and despair as his brother stands on the corner above him lifting the newly won belt aloft.

FADE TO BLACK