OPENING VIDEO PACKAGE

RIOT!

An explosion of pyrotechnics rock the staging and ring areas, ushering us into another live IWC telecast. The fans are rejoicing, jumping excitedly with their signs held high while the somewhat excited vocals of Mark Comeau and Susie Moore can be heard in the background.

Mark Comeau: Welcome to another week of IWC non stop adrenaline.

Susie Moore: That’s not fair, girls don’t have adrenaline.

Comeau: Um, they don’t have testosterone, Susie.

Susie: Really? Then why have I been taking those testosterone injections? Maybe that’s why I have so much hair on my chest.

Comeau: Tonight we’ve got a stacked card of excellent in ring action, and we’re going to find out the six entries into the Weapon’s Lair match that makes it’s long awaited return at Extinction.

JASON WHEELER VS. PAT EVANS

The low sound of a cat sends chills down the audience’s spines as the familiar strings of the electric guitar takes over. The audience turns to the entrance way as the big screen reads a single word before showing clips most audience member will remember. "WHEELER".

Open your heart it's gonna be alriiiiiiiii....

SING IT!

Thunder, rain, and lightning
>Danger, water rising
Clamour, sirens wailing
It's such a bad sign

The crowd goes nuts at this sight but Wheeler doesn't come out of the big screen even though the music continues.

Shadows of dark creatures
Steel clouds floating in the air
People run for shelter
What's gonna happen to us!?
All the steps we take, all the moves we make, all the pain at stake
I see the chaos for everyone
who are we what can we do
You and I are same in the way
that we have our own styles that we won't change

The audience isn't sure what to make of it until a small cry from a group of people comes from an audience exit way. Crouching on the archway to the exit is The Black Cat himself.

Yours is filled with evil and mine's not there is no way I can lose
Can't hold on much longer - But I will never let go
I know it's a one way track - Tell me now how long this'll last
I'm not gonna think this way - Nor will I count on others
Close my eyes and feel it burn - Now I see what I've gotta do
OPEN YOUR HEART, IT'S GONNA BE ALRIGHT

He looks as the audience tries to get past the security guards and hops down.

If it won't stop,
there will be no future for us
Its heart is tied down by all the hate, gotta set him free

Wheeler almost runs down the stairs, hoping over the rail and sliding into the ring. He then stays there for a moment before slowly pulling himself up. The N.H.B Championship glistens around his waist, which he takes a moment to savor by running his palm around it’s surface in concentric circles.

Can't hold on much longer - But I will never let go
I know it's a one way track - Tell me now how long this'll last
I'm not gonna think this way - Nor will I count on others
Close my eyes and feel it burn - Now I see what I've gotta do
OPEN YOUR HEART, IT'S GONNA BE ALRIGHT

The song repeats the last line as the Black Cat leaps to the turnbuckle, posing for the fans as the song winds down and he awaits his opponent.

Comeau: And we’re kicking things off with one of the hottest running rivalries in the IWC. “The Black Cat” Jason Wheeler coming out here to possibly settle the score with Submission Champion Pat Evans. The war these two have waged since last year has been epic.

Susie: I’ll tell you what’s epic, the size of my big toe nail. I haven’t cut it since I was five, now it’s wrapped all the way round my foot.

Mark: Sick.

Jason drops down out of the corner and eagerly eyes the entry way while handing the N.H.B title off to the official. “Outsider” begins to blare over the PA system, eliciting the rage of the fans. Through the curtains with no hesitation one Pat Evans emerges. His Submission title hangs carelessly from his grasp while he moves rather stoically towards the ring. Jason is getting anxious as Evans nears the squared circle, just waiting for this battle to commence. Evans hops to the apron and slips through the ropes, throwing his belt over his shoulder and shooting a repulsed glare in Jason’s direction.

Comeau: The tension is quite palpable between these two. Evans maybe going into this with a little more confidence since he owns a pinfall victory against Jason in their last one on one encounter at Paranoia V. Will history repeat itself tonight?

Moore: History always repeats itself, I mean, I’m constantly being checked into the same hospitals I eat too much garland from the Christmas tree.

The N.H.B and Submission Champions lurk across the ring from one another, their animosity escalating as they eye each other closely. Obviously they’re mentally prepared for what lies ahead, having encountered one another on a number of occasions. The bell now sounds and both men hesitantly progress out of their corners.

Mark: And we are underway with a singles rematch from Paranoia V.

Susie: I like singles, especially craft cheese singles, you can eat as many as you want and vomit them up effortlessly.

Comeau: Terrific.

A smug Evans steps forward and digs his finger directly into Jason’s sternum.

Pat Evans: If you were disappointed at Paranoia, just wait till I’m through with you tonight.

The despicable Champion chuckles as Wheeler sighs and lowers his head doubtfully. That’s when Jason suddenly looks up and slaps Pat’s cheek with great force, causing his rival to be staggered.

In anger Evans throws a jab that Wheeler ducks under, rushing into the cables behind his opponent. Pat spins around as Wheeler springs to the middle cable then flies in reverse into a back elbow. The point of his elbow connects directly to Jason’s sternum, both men being knocked to the canvas as a result.

Comeau: Wheeler with a big slap followed by that flying back elbow.

Moore: He just hit Pat in the boobies.

The Black Cat rolls to his feet as Evans gets to his knees behind him, Jason spinning into a roundhouse kick. The Submission Champ ducks the kick as Wheeler’s back now faces him, Evans standing and catching his arm. He hooks it, setting up for the Spinal Tap to squeals from the onlookers.

Evans lifts him into the air when Wheeler suddenly twists his body and falls sideways to the canvas, countering into an arm drag. Pat ducks his head and rolls forward across the canvas before spilling to the outside mats where he lands surprisingly on his feet. He leans back first against the apron, blinking his eyes awkwardly.

That’s when the N.H.B Champion steps up behind him, taking hold of the top rope then springing feet first to the middle one. He keeps hold of the top cable and now swings his legs down right into the upper back of Evans with a dropkick, launching him forward into the barricade.

He turns and crashes against it forcefully spine first. The crowd is rallied behind Wheeler who rolls backwards to his feet then rushes at the cables, jumping to the top one. He balances himself before taking flight, soaring through the air for a splash on Evans who steps out of the way at the last second. Pat pushes him down chest first right into the steel railing of the barricade.

Susie: Oh no, Jason may have just busted one of his implants.

Mark: Um, okay. Wheeler went high risk but crashed right into that barrier. Evans had him scouted perfectly on that occasion.

Jason covers his chest with both arms, backing right into the shoulder of Evans. He is hoisted into a back drop position then charged at the exposed turnbuckle post; being thrown split legged testicles first right into it. Wheeler cannot even interpret his pain as he wraps his legs around the post, his eyes bulging from their sockets.

Moore: CHESTER A. ARTHUR!

Comeau: Wheeler thrown genitalia first into the ring post.

Susie: I think that was a literal balls buster.

The diabolical Evans climbs up onto the apron behind Wheeler, grabbing his hair and beginning to deliver repeated kicks to his kidneys. Jason, who is still wrapped around the post roars in pain while Evans pulls him forward face first into the post now.

His skull bounces off of it and causes him to fall back first onto the apron as Evans stomps on him until he rolls back into the ring.

A battered Jason rolls into the ring still gripping at his forehead and beginning to stand up when Evans rushes at his side. He connects with a brutal running knee strike directly to Jason’s forehead, knocking him to the canvas across his back in a motionless heap. He spins around and then lunges into the air, coming down knee first directly into his forehead.

The impact causes Wheeler to sit up swiping his hands across his forehead as Evans pulls him right back down to the canvas across his spine. He now grabs his kneepad, sliding it down to his ankle then dropping with his exposed knee crap directly into Jason’s forehead yet again.

Groans emanate from the fans as Jason holds his forehead and starts to sluggishly get up. He rolls into the cables, grabbing hold of them and dragging his body to his feet. His palm remains pressed to his forehead as Evans steps in to press the advantage, taking him around the neck and snapping back into the DDT.

Somehow Wheeler keeps hold of the ropes, causing Pat to crash to his spine, unable to hit the DDT on his still standing opponent.

Susie: HEY! Those ropes just gave Zelda an unfair advantage.

Comeau: His NAME is Jason Wheeler.

Moore: Oh, so I guess Zelda is just his stage name?

With Evans laid out on the canvas Jason turns towards the ropes and jumps onto them, dropping the back of his thighs on the top cable. He bounces off the ropes into an Arabian press only to have Evans roll out of the way.

Jason crashes hard sternum and face first against the canvas while Pat rolls under the ropes to the apron, beginning to stand up. He rises to his feet and takes the top cable, perhaps preparing to bust out a rare high flying move of his own on his struggling opponent.

Wheeler painfully stands up, his back turned towards Evans when Pat begins to lob himself over the cables. As soon as he gets airborne Jason flips over backwards into the Pele kick. His boot connects with the top of Evans’ skull, knocking him out of the air and sending him crashing to the outside mats to a loud reception from the crowd.

Mark: OH what a kick from Wheeler, it’s almost as if he has eyes in the back of his head.

Moore: Maybe he’s one of those aliens from the Twilight Zone.

Evans rolls around on the outside mats gripping at his skull in shock as Jason slowly begins to stand up on the inside of the ring. He grips at his chest due to that impact with the barricade earlier and now takes off across the ring, dropping into a baseball slide under the ropes.

Pat just stands up when the Black Cat slides under the ropes and wraps his legs around his neck. He goes for a head scissors from the baseball slide only for Evans to catch him around the legs, swinging his opponent’s body around and catching him under his arm. The fans scream as Pat drops Wheeler viciously with a side slam on the outside mats.

Jason’s spine may be demolished after the vicious slam into the mats, perhaps permanent injuries inflicted. After much delay he rolls to his knees, progressing towards his feet when Evans takes him around the neck snapping back into the DDT.

Comeau: ARGH, DDT into the mats, Evans missed it earlier but he got all of it this time.

Susie: How dare he, Pat is just like the neighbor children, always messing with my lawn gnomes.

Mark: For the last time, Jason is not a lawn gnome, nor an elf, nor Zelda!

After having his skull driven with a straight impact into the mats Wheeler is dead weight as he’s rolled back into the ring. Pat slides in himself, scampering into the lateral press.

The Black Cat forces his shoulder from the ring, as Evans immediately steps around his head, locking his legs about his neck. He falls to his back, applying the head scissors submission on the drained Wheeler, who has withstood far to many impacts around the ring.

The referee crouches over Wheeler, checking on his condition, inquiring as to rather or not he submits. Pain may course throughout every inch of his anatomy but Wheeler refuses to give in, unwilling to allow Evans to best him yet again.

To the hysterics of the crowd Jason begins to twist his aching frame from side to side.

Comeau: Wheeler trying so hard to get out of this hold.

Susie: I hate being trapped in things, handcuffs cause skin rashes.

Wheeler rolls to his side and pulls Evans along with him, both men laid out across their stomachs. That’s when Evans does a push up, legs still wrapped around Jason’s head. To the shock, and disgust of many viewers, Evans uses his pelvis to push Wheeler down face first into the canvas.

As the head meet canvas even more damage is inflicted to Jason’s already damaged cranium. He rolls to his back as Pat crawls into the lateral press.

Again Wheeler possesses that last remaining ditch of effort to get his shoulder out from under Pat’s body. The Submission title holder rushes to his feet and takes hold of Jason’s hair, sitting him up only to place him in a modified Katihajimi.

The air is being ripped from Wheeler’s lungs and the blood is being refused to his brain. All hope quickly beginning to fade. Despite all of this Jason begins to bridge his way up to his feet, fighting through the pain.

Comeau: The modified tazzmission still not enough to hold Wheeler down.

Susie: Untrue, Tazz could beat anyone, I loved him and his entire wacky family of spinning vermin.

With the crowd rallied behind him Jason reaches his feet and now Evans tries to alternate into the Time to Go to Sleep. Jason shoves his spine into Pat’s sternum and begins to charge backwards across the ring in an attempt to break free from the hold.

However, Evans wedges his feet hard to the canvas, using his sizeable weight and height advantage to hold Jason at bay. That’s when Wheeler drops to his knees, scoots backwards through Evans’ legs and places him in a rear waistlock.

To Jason’s shock Pat performs a standing switch, hooking his arm from behind while setting up for the Spinal Tap yet again. This time Evans gets him half up for the move when Jason reaches in reverse with his legs, tangling them around Pat’s waist. He falls forward and pulls the Submission Champ down into a roll up.

He is seated right on top of Pat’s chest, holding down on the back of his legs.

Pat kicks out, launching Jason forward. The ever so quick Black Cat ducks his head into a roll, ending up on his feet before he charges into the cables.

His light frame bounces speedily from the ropes as he now comes back in at a kneeling Evans. Screams of dismay are elicited from the fans as Evans launches himself from his knees into a headbunt right to the N.H.B title holder’s stomach. He is doubled over by this shot while Evans stands up in front of him and takes hold of his neck.

He lifts Evans up into the air going for a reverse suplex, throwing him forward so that he can crash down sternum first into the ring. To Pat’s sheer disbelief Wheeler lands directly on his feet instead and then lunges forward into a rolling Liger kick. The back of his body hits Pat’s face and chest violently as both men are now taken to the canvas.

Mark: A big rolling kick from Wheeler!

Susie: I can kick, actually I know Tae-Bow, does that make me a wrestler?

Comeau: I think a pumpkin has a better chance of being a wrestler than you.

Moore: Pumpkins can be awfully crafty.

Evans and Wheeler agonizingly force their way to their feet when Jason lunges into a jumping back heel kick. His heel connects right against Pat’s jaw, the impact knocking him to the canvas.

The aggravated Evans grips at his jaw and rises to his feet when Jason hops into the air once more. This time it’s his knee that connects with the face of his long time rival. Pat is sent reeling backwards into the ropes, falling against them for support.

His tired body leans on them for support when Wheeler comes barreling forward, jumping into the air with a step up knee strike directly to his forehead. The impact addles Evans as Jason drops down in front of him and then applies a sideheadlock.

Pat is seemingly powerless to fight off Wheeler who rushes forward to connect with a bulldog. To the shock of many Evans counters by lifting Jason up into the air in a back drop position. That’s when Wheeler shifts his weight and comes crashing down on top of Pat’s sternum with a crossbody.

The Champion tumbles to his back and Wheeler immediately hooks Pat’s leg.

Evans gets his shoulder up and rolls backwards, pushing Jason over onto his back and reversing the lateral press into one of his own.

Jason kicks out and both men begin to rush to their feet.

Mark: Counter after counter between these two phenomenal athletes. They definitely know each other very well.

Susie: Until you’ve wore another person’s underwear you never truly know them.

Comeau: Thanks for that wonderful albeit disgusting pearl of wisdom.

The bitter rivals and champions chase their respective opponent to their feet when Wheeler dives towards Evans for the spinning heel kick. On this occasion Pat catches Wheeler across his sternum right in the middle of his kick then throws him up into the air.

Jason lands on Pat’s shoulders as he drops him into a sensational powerbomb. Evans dropped to his knees while hitting the move and now stands, diving forward into the jackknife cover.

Jason gets his shoulder up, resulting in heavy applause from the masses. A disgruntled Pat sits up, mumbling obscenities beneath his breath.

Spitefully Pat turns around and takes Jason by the hair, rolling his damaged body towards his feet while rifling off with right hands and forearm shivers. Each blow inflicts tremendous damage to Jason’s already targeted skull before he’s finally pulled into position for the piledriver.

Evans drives the point of his elbow down into the small of Wheeler’s back, inflicting even greater damage before lifting his nimble opponent into the air. He is on the verge of unleashing a dreaded piledriver when Wheeler tangles his legs around Pat’s neck, sitting up in the process.

The crowd is erupting as Wheeler finds himself in a seated position on Pat’s shoulders, perhaps going for the hurricaran. Evans rushes forward to powerbomb him though, throwing his Wheeler forward for the maneuver. To the shock and awe of all those gathered, Jason actually flips over and lands on his feet after being launched into the powerbomb.

An astonished Evans charges forward into the Claim to Fame (Sky High Press). Evans is driven forcefully spine first into the canvas as the official makes the count.

Pat is now the one who kicks out, as this match continues to be a dead heap.

Mark: So close, so CLOSE!

Susie: But there’s no cigar. And I don’t smoke, so I don’t want it either.

An explosion of cheers rock the Manhattan Center as Jason Wheeler has just secured a HUGE victory over Pat Evans.

Comeau: And now he’s done it, Jason Wheeler has just defeated Pat Evans! He’s gotten his revenge for that Paranoia loss here tonight on Riot!

Susie: Woohoo, Zelda prevails yet again!

The fans are still showering Jason with praise as he rises to his knees, lifting his arms up victory in an exasperated pose.

ENTERING THE LAIR

An exhausted Jason Wheeler stands up in the ring, leaning on the ropes for support after this grueling encounter has finally concluded. He swipes the back of his hand across his forehead, removing the sweat and reaching for his kidneys which are just enflamed with pain. Before he has time to recuperate “Falling in the Black” by Skillet hits the PA system, resulting in the repulsion of the fans.

Mark: Wheeler just survived an incredibly grueling encounter with Pat Evans, but his issues with the Conspiracy are not through as of yet.

Susie: The rest of the Conspiracy is coming out? I hope it’s for a group hug.

Without much hesitation the curtains part and Christian Savior emerges, World title shimmering over his shoulder. A very pompous grin resides on his face as his eyes interlock with Jason’s. The mere presence of his brother dredges up Wheeler’s repressed homicidal tendencies which are further exacerbated as one Dan Douglas strolls through the curtains, microphone in hand.

Dan Douglas: Jason, Jason, Jason, what am I going to do with you?

Douglas is shaking his head as now, inexplicably his private security force, decked out in full riot gear, stroll out behind him.

Dan: No matter what I throw your way you just won’t leave, you won’t give up. Your as pugnacious and irritating as a tick.

Wheeler actually grins slightly, finding that last statement to be rather complimentary.

Douglas: So what do I do with you Wheeler? Send my hand picked security force out there to destroy you? Maybe I should stop holding Christian back and let the Champ mangle your androgynies ass.

A smirking Christian lifts the World title up high much to Wheeler’s annoyance. Douglas puts his finger to his chin and begins to shake his head.

Dan: Nah, I think I’ll take the lazier approach, the one that involves the least amount of work for the Conspiracy and my security force. So instead of degrading Savior by putting him in the ring against you once again I’m going to let the Weapon’s Lair do all the work.

Jason tilts his head, wondering what Douglas is getting at as the plotting president progresses.

Dan: That’s right Jason Wheeler, you are hereby the first entry in the Weapon’s Lair match at Extinction for the number one contendership.

A loud reaction is heard from the crowd as Wheeler smirks slightly, unconcerned with the ominous Lair.

Mark: Wow, Jason Wheeler is going to enter the Weapon’s Lair?

Susie: Yay, maybe he can practice interior design and spruce up the Lair a bit.

Savior and Douglas are both chuckling at the thought of Wheeler being dismantled in the Weapon’s Lair.

Dan: Savior and I are going to take great joy in watching our enemies destroy you in the most violent, chaotic setting imaginable. And once you’ve been mangled, bloodied, brutalized and permanently crippled in the Lair, we’ll finally be able to wipe our hands clean of you.

The amused Savior swipes his palms emphatically together.

Douglas: One way or another you will be taken care of at Extinction, Jason, but as for tonight I’m sick of looking at you, therefore my private security is here to escort you from the building.

Wheeler rolls his eyes.

Dan: That’s right, your barred from ringside for your partner, Porno Lad’s….

Douglas scoffs at the mere mention of the name.

Douglas:…match, and your barred from the Manhattan Center for the rest of the night. And since Porny is going to be fighting the newest Conspiracy member up next, your presence is no longer tolerable. Security, get this flamboyant MJ impersonator out of my building.

The President’s finger is directed at a chuckling Wheeler who is handed his N.H.B Championship by the referee. He throws it over his shoulder and strangely cooperates with the security detail now surrounding the ring. He slips through the ropes and drops to the outside mats, flanked on all sides by Douglas’ security then starting up the ramp.

Mark: A stunning start to tonight’s Riot! Jason Wheeler finds out he’ll be one of the six involved in the Weapon’s Lair at Extinction and now he’s being barred from the arena.

Susie: I’m sure Porno Lad will do fine on his own, as long as he does some break dancing.

Jason stoically marches up the ramp with security forming walls at both his sides and separating him from the Conspiracy members on the stage. As Wheeler passes by Christian his brother is sticking out his jaw, pointing to it and daring Jason to hit him.

Wheeler smirks slightly and keeps on walking. A confused, angered Evans watches all of this from the ring as he sits in the corner recuperating. Once Wheeler has passed out of sight with security in tow, Douglas turns back to the squared circle.

Dan: Now it’s time for you people to witness the power of the Conspiracy’s newest member, and the second entrant into the Weapon’s Lair, when Nathan Creed defeats Porno Lad in that ring after the commercial break, hahaha.

Savior is also chuckling as the two begin to back peddle towards the curtains.

Comeau: Nathan Creed being announced as the second man entered into the Weapon’s Lair, and apparently we’re going to see him collide with Porno Lad UP NEXT!

COMMERCIAL BREAK

IWC….At least there’s no CP Munk

PORNO LAD VS. NATHAN CREED

Tension fills the air in anticipation of the next superstar to enter the ring when the lights dim down. Adam Gontier's soothing voice cuts the tension swiftly

"Pain, Without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all"

The drum beat kicks in for Three Days Grace's song 'Pain' and the lights flash synchronized to the beat. Nathan Creed walks from behind the curtain, his expression stoic as he stares down at the ring. He snaps his neck from side to side whilst ringing his wrists. The song takes a change in mood and softens as Creed starts a slow walk towards the ring accompanied by a low blue light that replaces the strobes. Also joining him on his way to the ring is one Krissie McMorris, who is smiling from ear to ear in a very devious fashion.

"You're sick of feeling numb,
You're not the only one,
I'll take you by the hand,
And I'll show you a world that you can understand,
This life is filled with hurt,
When happiness doesn't work,
Trust me and take my hand,
When the lights go out you will understand"

As the verse nears its end Creed reaches the ring and slides under the rope. He bounds to his feet as the song changes beat as the chorus hits and the lights change again into a flash of bright strobe lights. Krissie remains at ringside, watching the amnesiac that she’s manipulated into believing they’re still together.

"Pain, without love,
Pain, can't get enough,
Pain, I like it rough,
Cause I'd rather have pain than nothing at all"

The start of the chorus causes Creed to scream, throwing his arms to the side in a Dreamer-esque pose. He stretches his arms by tugging on the ring ropes and begins a quick warm up technique before pacing around the ring, eyes sharp and focused, waiting for the technical display, that is a Nathan Creed match, to begin.

Comeau: Krissie McMorris repulsively accompanying Nathan Creed to the ring, who we just found out will be stepping into the Weapon’s Lair at Extinction. It’s just disgusting what they’re doing to this man.

Susie: Forcing him to be in porn?

Mark: Thankfully no.

Moore: Then they have nothing in common with my uncle.

Comeau: I can’t believe Krissie McMorris and the rest of the Conspiracy has Nathan believing he’s a member of their group, one of their allies in fact.

The words “How about I just do whatever I want” boom through the arena speakers and then Original Prankster blasts through the speakers

Porno Lad steps out from behind the curtain wearing an expensive white leather jacket. on his left arm he has the lovely Emily Morris on his right the beautiful Katilyn Bueller. With BFG in the rear looking around suspiciously for any terrorist would be assassins or any other threats.

Until the break of dawn
Life, life, cannot go by the letter
Time, time, Prozac can make it better
Noise, noise, any kind will do
Can you feel it slip away, well it's all on you

As he walks he smirks confidently pointing to the crowd and then shaking his head in an expression that just says “you just want to be like me.” Strangely he keeps one of his hands tucked behind his back, hiding it.

Crime, crime, rockin' like Janet Reno
Time, time, eighteen and life in Chino
Freud, Freud, all alone it's true
Well you see the coming day catches up to you, yeah

Porno lad stops and throws out his arms both woman spin around throwing there hair back arching there backs back as a blast of pyro goes off.

Knock down the walls-
It's alive in you
Knock down the place-
You're alone it's true
Knock down the world-
It's alive in you
You're gonna keep your head up through it all
You're gonna bust out on it-
Original Prankster
Break out, yeah-
Original, yeah
Bust out on it-
Original Prankster
You'll never stop now, stop now, that's what the main men say

As the chorus rings he briefly stops to tell his entourage to go backstage, informing him that he’ll handle Creed on his own.

You can do it!

You know it smells like shit, goddamn
Tag team, the double header
Son of Sam, fire always makes it better
Navigate, with style and aplomb
'Cause wherever you're at that's the trip youse on!

Porno Lad hops to the apron with his hand still tucked behind his back while slipping through the ropes, Nathan giving him a suspicious stare.

Hey!

Lies, lies, says he down in the Bahamas
Tries, tries, bangin' little hoochy mammas
No way, none of this is true
Well you see the coming day when the joke's on you, yeah

Porno lad confidently and steps into the ring he does a little twirl and throws his jacket open pointing at him self.

Comeau: Porno Lad has hit this company like a….

Susie: Shit storm?

Mark: I wasn’t going to use that analogy but sure, why not? Since he’s gotten here Porno Lad has been tormenting people left and right, will he do the same to Creed on the eve of their Quest for the Crowns tournament match?

Moore: I hope so, I love Porno Lad, he reminds me of Nickelodeon.

A smirking Porno Lad hangs back in his corner as the amnesiac Creed gives him a piercing stare. All the while Krissie McMorris remains at ringside, barking out orders to her boyfriend. He cracks his knuckles then strolls forward when PL does a little stutter step in his direction, then extends his palm outward.

Comeau: Porno Lad actually looking for a handshake before we get underway.

Susie: That’s nice, although I hate things that shake, ever since I suffered shaking baby syndrome.

The newest Conspiracy member stares down into the palm and then up into Porno Lad’s face, questioning what he should do here. His eyes then cut to Krissie at ringside, who shrugs with a great big smile.

Her reaction prompts the gracious Creed to slap his palm into Porno Lad’s, both men embracing with a friendly shake. The grinning, fun loving Porno Lad now makes a puckering motion in Nathan’s direction, prompting him to try and get his hand free.

To Creed’s shock he can’t get his hand free from the palm of his opponent. A grinning Porno Lad lifts a finger to his lips as if he suddenly remembers something.

Porno Lad: Oh, that’s right. I was playing with industrial strength adhesives earlier.

This revelation infuriates Nathan, realizing that his hand is super-glued to Porno Lad’s. He desperately tries to yank free but can’t do so. He pulls back one of his hands, looking for a knife edge chop, but can’t connect due to the awkward placement of their bodies and his other hand being trapped in the prankster’s palm.

Mark: What the hell? I think Nathan Creed and Porno Lad are glued together.

Moore: That’s awesome, the power of two now becomes the power of one! Their just like the Transformers, or the megazords!

Porno Lad looks sympathetic to Creed’s plight before he delivers a boot right to his opponent’s ribs. The shot doubles Creed over as with their hands still stuck together Porno Lad applies a side headlock. The Conspiracy tries his best to free himself, twisting and turning his body to get out of the headlock.

That’s when he hits an elbow to Porno Lad’s ribs, weakening the submission then falling away from his stunned opposition. His glue smeared hand drags Porno Lad down to the canvas in an variation of the arm drag. The prankster ducks his head and rolls forward and uses his glued hand to pull Nathan over top of him.

Creed rolls over his opponent and onto his back as Porno Lad gets to his knees at his side, dropping a knee right into Nathan’s bicep.

Comeau: Those glued together palms are really useful for Porno Lad.

Moore: I once got into glue and my feet were trapped to the ceiling for three whole days.

The crowd chuckles over the glued together palms of both competitors, especially as Porno Lad drags Nathan back to his feet utilizing the industrial strength adhesive. Nathan gets back to an upright base when Porno Lad drops into a baseball slide between his legs.

He stands up behind him with Nathan’s arm pulled under his taint. Porno Lad looks back and forth at the screaming fans and now begins to yank up and down on Creed’s arm, repeatedly driving it into his testicles. Laughter emanates from the fans as they count along with each blow to the genitalia.

Finally Porno Lad pulls up on Nathan’s arm with such force that it sends Creed flipping forward and crashing onto his back. With their hands still glued together Porno Lad jumps over his opponent and drags him onto his chest and stomach.

PL gets to his knees at his side and begins to drive elbows down into the bicep of Nathan’s trapped arm. Despite these shots Nathan begins to stand up when Porno Lad swings around under his wrist, placing him in an arm ringer.

Mark: I can’t believe what we’re seeing here. Porno Lad has actually glued Nathan’s hand to his own and now he’s dominating the submission specialist. This has got Creed completely befuddled.

Moore: Befuddled? I had to sue my dentist for doing that to me while under anesthesia.

Creed reaches out with his free hand and palms Porno Lad’s face, digging his fingers into his eyes. He now pushes him backwards into the cables, Porno Lad hitting them spine first. He now rakes his eyes viciously and then instinctively tries to Irish Whip him across the ring.

However, Creed forgot that their hands are glued together, causing him to rush right alongside Porno Lad into the ropes. Both men bounce off the cables side by side as Porno Lad tries to reverse into a whip of his own. He twists Creed around when Nathan reverses, then Porno Lad counters, both men spinning several times due to their adhesive bonded palms.

Finally they stop when Creed boots the prankster to his ribs and places him in a front chancery. He lifts him up into the air with his own free arm into a vertical suplex. Porno Lad is slammed hard spine first into the ring when Creed floats over into the lateral press.

Porno Lad gets his shoulder up.

Mark: Thank God all those Irish whips are over.

Susie: It was making me seasick.

Creed stands up and swings around, wrapping his legs about the bicep of PL, locking in a grapevine. Porno Lad bites his lower lip and begins to drag himself across the ring in the direction of the cables, desperate to get free. He extends his foot and places it over the bottom cable.

As soon as the referee informs Creed that PL reached the ropes, Nathan rises to his feet and begins to stomp down at Porno Lad repeatedly.

Despite the stomps PL begins to rise to his feet, leaning against the ropes with their hands still glued. Creed steps back with fist clinched and rushes forward only for Porno Lad to back drop him over the ropes. However, with their hands still glued Porno Lad is spun around and dragged over the cables as well, both men crashing to the outside mats.

Mark: Ouch, these two keep forgetting that their hands are glued together.

Susie: I forget when I tie my shoes together before I hit the floor and get an ouchie.

Creed stands desperately trying to get his hand out of Porno Lad’s, who is kneeling before him. The angered Creed throws a jab into his opponent’s forehead when the rival delivers a shot of his own. Both men stand up when Porno Lad drags Creed forward ribs first into his knee.

Nathan doubles over in pain when Porno Lad kicks him hard to the sternum. The impact causes Creed to stand upright before he’s grabbed by the back of the head and charged at the announce table. Creed’s face is driven down into the hard surface with resounding effect.

Comeau: Now these two are right out here in front of us.

Moore: They better not try to steal my Snickers!

Creed is turned and rolled back into the ring while Porno Lad’s devious eyes shift to the vacant steel chair where Kailey Worf would usually be seated. He licks his lips, salivating at the thought of using it before he reaches for the steel. Unfortunately he can’t reach it, his hand remaining attached to Creed inside of the ring.

He now begins to pull Nathan back towards the ropes and reaches out even further for the chair. Unfortunately for Porno Lad, his adversary wraps his free arm around the bottom cable, refusing to be tugged any further.

An aggravated Porno Lad stretches as far as his body will allow, his fingers falling several feet short of the chair. They twiddle in it’s direction, PL so anxious to take hold of it but Creed only tightens his grip on the bottom rope.

Mark: Porno Lad trying his best to grab that chair, which proved quite useful in his bout against Hurse several weeks ago.

Susie: I love chairs, they nicely support my bottom.

Porno Lad’s fingers continue to fall short of the chair when Nathan sits up behind the ropes and pulls him into the apron. His opponent collides sternum first against the apron while Creed uses their glued hands to tug him back into the ring.

A stunned Porno Lad stands up Creed tugs him forward into a hard elbow right to the jaw. This shot disorientates the king of pranks as he falls to his back, looking on the verge of unconsciousness. Creed now points towards the turnbuckle and then slits his thumb across his throat to a resoundingly negative response.

The smirking Creed steps towards the corner only to sadly remember that he’s stuck to his opponent, who is now dead weight on the canvas. Nathan grabs the wrist of Porno Lad with his one available hand, dragging him towards the corner.

That’s when Porno Lad sits up and tugs on Creed’s hand, dragging him down into the small package.

Nathan kicks out just before the three count as he rushes to his feet and then stomps down at his seated opponent’s face. This strike knocks him to the canvas as Nathan now places his foot on Porno Lad’s forearm, trying to rip his palm free.

Every muscle in Creed’s face is tensed before he finally tears his palm out of Porno Lad’s.

Comeau: Creed getting his hand free finally from that glue.

Moore: I hope it was glue.

As soon as he frees his palm it shoots towards his face, sticking directly to his nose and eyes. Creed now tries to pull his palm down off of his face but can’t get it off. Through a crack in his fingers he can see Porno Lad barreling towards him. Once again he’s forced to use his left hand to deliver a knife edge chop right across the inbound PL’s sternum.

The shot echoes throughout the arena as Porno Lad drops to the canvas then rolls across it to his feet. His chest may be blood red but it doesn’t stop him from reaching his feet, then walking right into a headbunt from Creed with his hand still trapped against his forehead.

The strike sends Porno Lad to the canvas as Creed grabs his wrist, continuing to try and pry his hand from his face.

Susie: Hehehe, Nathan’s sticky hand is stuck to his face. He shouldn’t have been playing with himself before this match, that’s Krissie’s job.

Comeau: Actually that glue is still all over Creed’s palm, sticking it to his face, yet he’s still doing surprisingly well.

Nathan turns away from Porno Lad, tugging as hard as possible on his wrist. He finally gives up and turns right towards Porno Lad, throwing a lariat at his slowly rising body.

Porno Lad ducks the lariat then rushes into the ropes behind Creed, springing to the middle one then twisting towards his partially blind opponent. The Conspiracy member turns right into a dropkick to his chest, knocking him to the canvas.

The stunned Nathan remains sprawled out across the canvas, still fighting with his sticky palm. In the process of this struggle Porno Lad charges in and leaps into the air, delivering a double stomp directly to his ribs then falling down into a back first senton splash.

His back connects viciously with Creed’s ribs, causing him much dismay as he rolls in the direction of the ropes. His hand reaches out, fishing for the cables and finally finding the middle one as he begrudgingly rises to his feet.

Comeau: Porno Lad really taking advantage of Nathan’s glued hand.

Susie: These guys seriously need girlfriends.

In his battered state Creed reaches his feet, turning right as Porno Lad lunges forward into an elbow strike to his jaw. He now raises a knee into his ribs, doubling Nathan over before taking his hair and leading him to the center of the ring. When there PL pops him to the back of his hand, his fist originally intended for his opponent’s face but thankfully the palm is blocking it.

PL now launches another right hand at Creed’s head which the submission specialist surprisingly ducks. This causes Porno Lad to turn with his back to his opponent. Creed wraps his one free arm around his adversary’s waist then drops back into a single arm release German suplex.

The light frame of Porno Lad crashes across the canvas on the back of his head. He rolls over and falls to the canvas across his spine as Nathan gets up and once again makes the throat slit motion, but has to go over the back of his other wrist in the process.

He now steps towards the turnbuckle with his hand still trapped against his face. The frazzled Nathan slips through the ropes and begins to climb the corner, although he’s impeded by his lack of two hands.

Porno Lad remains spread on the canvas beneath him as Creed gets to the very top rope and now launches himself off, soaring through the air for the diving headbunt. He crashes with the back of his knuckles against Porno Lad’s sternum.

Comeau: Creed hitting the flying….ummm….hand-bunt.

Susie: QUACAMOLE!

Creed rolls to his back, convulsing in pain despite the fact that his hand took the majority of the damage from that sensational dive. He now crawls into the lateral press, hooking one of his opponent’s legs for the pinfall.

Porno Lad defiantly kicks out to a rousing ovation from the Manhattan Center faithful. A dejected Nathan sits up and immediately tries to free his hand from his face yet again.

He rises to his knees, desperately dragging on his hand until it’s almost free, but that’s when he spots Porno Lad standing up from between the cracks in his fingers. He catches the discombobulated PL by the hair, helping him all the way up then delivering another hand-bunt to his forehead. The collision sends his opposition tumbling back to the ring.

Creed rubs at the back of his fingers painfully before jumping into the air with an extension of his leg. Porno Lad rolls out of the way though, causing Creed to land on his seat with his opposition rushing into the ropes in front of him. He bounces off of the cables and then lunges forward into a hard knee strike directly to the back of Creed’s fist and face.

A stunned Nathan tumbles to his back, laying motionless as his opposition charges into the cables at his side. He springs to the middle one and takes flight, twisting in mid-air to come down leg first right across Nathan’s skull and fingers.

Susie: Look, Porno can fly just like a fairy. Not the type of fairies that march in that parade I’m always asked to participate in either.

Mark: Um, sure. Anyway Porno Lad’s use of glue working out better for him than he originally planned.

Moore: I like glue too, it’s delicious.

A confident Porno Lad gets back to his feet and again rushes into the ropes, springing to the middle one. He flips straight over backwards into a moonsault only for Creed to get his knees up into the air this time. Porno Lad crashes ribs first against them and grits his teeth in pain as he rolls across the canvas.

The perspiring Creed begins to achieve an upright base as he spots his opponent sluggishly beginning to stand up in front of him, once again through the slits of his fingers. He steps straight to the rising Porno Lad’s side and wraps his free arm around his waist. He drops back into a single arm side suplex, slamming his opposition hard against the canvas.

Nathan now crawls into the cover.

Porno Lad lobs his shoulder from the ring as Nathan sits up, fighting to free his face from his adhesive bonded palm. Krissie is shouting at her amnesia suffering boyfriend to lick his palm in the hopes that his saliva will break the glue. He doesn’t listen out of fear of his tongue sticking to his palm.

He turns back towards Porno Lad now and grabs one of his legs. He lifts it up into the air and then pulls him over onto his chest, applying the single leg Boston Crab.

Susie: Block jaw Nathan sure is accomplishing a lot with just one arm.

Comeau: That he is Susie, he may actually even have the submission here.

Porno Lad pushes himself up onto his palms, gritting his teeth in pain and glaring towards the far away ropes. In exhaustion he begins to pull his lapsed body towards them but then realizes Creed’s hold isn’t at 100 percent. Therefore he’s able to free himself by rolling to his back.

He frees his leg from the one arm of Creed then sits up, wrapping his arms around Nathan’s waist. He is pulled down into a backwards roll, PL seated on the back of his thighs, folding Creed up into a pinning position.

Nathan kicks out at the last second, launching Porno Lad forward.

The mischievous prankster charges into the cables in front of a rising Nathan and jumps to the middle rope. He moonsaults over backwards when Creed drops down out of the way. Yet again he avoids the Porno Lad’s springboard moonsault, causing his opponent to have to land on his feet this time.

Almost immediately Creed steps towards him, going for a single leg take down. Porno Lad hops on one foot though then hops into the air, going for the enzugari. Nathan ducks the inbound shin of his opponent as PL lands on his elbows and knees in front of him.

Creed steps back as the master of the pranks starts to stand up in front of him. The second he reaches his feet Nathan charges forward, catching him by the hair and pulling him down into a face buster. Porno Lad rolls to his back, shocked that he’s on the defensive even though his opponent’s offense is severally limited by the use of just ONE hand.

Susie: Oh no, Porny is down, and he’s not under me, so that’s bad!

Comeau: I can imagine. Somehow Creed is hanging in there.

A worn Creed gets back to his feet and glares at the backside of his struggling opponent. He steps up behind him and grabs hold of PL’s hair, bending his body over backwards into a reverse DDT position. Obviously Nathan is setting up for the Upset (Eye of the Hurricane).

Instinctively he swings his other arm around to hit the move but has plum forgot that his hand is stuck to his face. Therefore he is unable to hit the move, his exposed back now turned towards Porno Lad who turns and lunges into the air.

He lands on Creed’s shoulders from behind, and sticks one of his legs between Nathan’s arm and face before dropping forward. Nathan is pulled down into a forward roll as the crowd screams, Porno Lad seated on his chest and holding down the back of his legs.

The entire arena erupts into a wave of shock as Porno Lad rolls off of Creed, who is still trying his best to remove his palm from his face.

Comeau: And he’s done it again! Porno Lad remains undefeated with a shocking roll up on Nathan Creed!

Susie: Is there nothing this man can’t do? Besides wear a hairnet?

The fans are exploding, absolutely erupting into a pure joygasm while Porno Lad rolls to his feet, celebrating and shaking his hips towards an appalled McMorris at ringside.

A MESSAGE

Porno Lad is leaning spine first against the turnbuckle for support, recuperating from this grueling encounter while Nathan is rolling across the canvas still trying to finagle his hand from his face.

Comeau: What a grueling victory for Porno Lad here tonight thanks to that industrial strength adhesive but now we’ve got to…WAIT A MINUTE!

Susie: It’s the GOONIES!

To the shock of the fans Riggs and Psycho slide into the ring in front of a recovering Porno Lad and immediately pounce on him. The stunned prankster steps out of the corner slugging Riggs to the forehead before Psycho steps up behind the nimble athlete, clubbing him viciously to the upper back.

Psycho spins PL around and catches him across the chest, hoisting him into the air then delivering the t-bone suplex. His light frame is thrown half way across the ring as a result, sending him plummeting into the canvas.

Comeau: Psycho and Riggs absolutely blindsiding Porno Lad but why!?!

Susie: Maybe they aren’t fans of porn.

The number one contender Riggs urges his partner to stand the debilitated Porno Lad up. The big man steps over PL, grabbing his arms and placing them in almost a modified chickenwing. He’s unable to defend himself, far too exhausted from his encounter with Creed to do so.

Speaking of Nathan, Krissie McMorris quickly yanked him out of the ring at the first sight of Psycho and Riggs. He leans against Krissie for support as the two make their way around the squared circle, Nathan’s scarred brother following him with his demented eyes.

From Riggs’ pocket a steel fork has been retrieved.

Comeau: Oh no, oh no, come on Riggs, don’t do this.

Susie: Is he going to make a salad?

Porno Lad continues to have his arms pinned behind his back before Riggs steps towards him and drives the fork right between his eyes. The steel points rip the prankster’s flesh and sends him crumbling to the canvas amongst a wave of despair from the sold out crowd.

Comeau: AHHH…

Susie: Riggs and Psycho are trying to eat Porno Lad.

The prankster has crumbled to his back, both hands wrapped in front of his face as a trail of claret streams from his broken flesh. Riggs steps back admiring the fork gripped in his hand, looking at it’s reddened tips and smiling.

At this point Psycho has rolled under the ropes to the outside and approaches an object that he dropped on his way to the ring. He grabs a folded up black body bag and rolls back into the ring into the ring. He unzips it quickly and stretches it across the canvas.

Comeau: What is this now? This is just taking things too far.

Susie: Are they setting up a picnic blanket?

A disorientated, badly damaged Porno Lad is rolled into the sack and Riggs zips him up inside of it like he were a corpse. All the while Psycho has stormed across the ring and demanded the use of a microphone, one being handed to him by Kailey Worf. Actually he rips it out of her clutches and storms to the center of the ring, leaving the announcer somewhat dejected.

Psycho: Did you see that Jason, well did ya!?!

It’s clear that this raging psychopath is directing his comments to one Jason Wheeler, who was barred from the arena just a few moments earlier.

Psycho: I hope you get a good look at your partner, because the same fate is waiting for you in the Weapon’s Lair!

A mixed response is heard from the crowd as Riggs finally takes his savage eyes off of the body bag. He steps to his partner’s side, placing his hand on Psycho’s large, tense shoulder.

Psycho: The chances of serious bodily harm coming to you in that demonic structure has just increased, because PSYCHO has been added to the Weapon’s Lair at Extinction!

The screams from the fans become even louder, all of them stunned and frightened at the thought of Psycho competing in his first Weapon’s Lair match.

Psycho: And Psycho is going to make you suffer like never before for associating with Conspiracy sympathizers like your partner here. But the pain inflicted on him will be nothing compared to what I do to you in the Lair, and they’ll be carting you away in a body bag as well. One way or another the stain on the IWC known as Jason Wheeler will be lifted at Extinction, and at the same time, his brother will be dealt an equally as cruel blow by Riggs.

The Painted Warrior looks up and lifts the bloodied fork above his head.

Psycho: Psycho and Riggs will leave everyone laying in our wake at Extinction, just like tonight when we SAVE the IWC Tag Team Titles from those two bald failures. Our journey to rescue this company from low life leaches like Porno Lad here, his partner Wheeler, and the Conspiracy starts tonight when our hands are raised high in victory.

Psycho throws down the microphone as he and Riggs symbolically raise their arms up high like they are holding the Tag Team title belts.

Comeau: Some shocking statements made by Psycho and Riggs here tonight, using Porno Lad to send a message to Jason Wheeler and claiming that they will take the Tag Titles this evening. Plus, we now know that Psycho will be in the Weapon’s Lair as well.

Susie: Everyone’s in the Weapon’s Lair. Who next, Burt and Ernie? Because that would be INCREDIBLE!

Riggs and Psycho continue to raise their arms aloft but behind their back two figures have rolled out from under the ring. The crowd immediately jumps all over Matt Hodges and Hurse who reach through the cables grabbing the bottom of the body bag Porno Lad is trapped in.

Comeau: Wait, what the hell is this? Now Porno Lad is being grabbed by Matt Hodges and Hurse who were hiding under the ring.

Susie: Wow, I wish I was part of the magical kingdom under the ring, but I hear you have to book reservations months in advance.

Hurse and Matt slide Porno Lad out under the ropes, who is far too damaged to put up a fight of any kind. Matt quickly grabs the lower half of the bag and Hurse takes the upper half. The two carry Porno Lad in the body bag up the ramp towards the curtains.

Comeau: Matt Hodges and Hurse are kidnapping Porno Lad!

Susie: What will he pay the ransom with? Ron Jeremy films?

DON’T DO ME NO FAVORS

The reaction from the fans is quite deafening as Orlando Cruze marches through the backstage area. Yet again both Tag Team Title belts adorn his shoulder as he progresses towards a concession table, reaching out for the coffee pot. He’s on the brink of enjoying some rejuvenating caffeine when he’s rudely interrupted in mid pour by an all too familiar tone.

I told you I’d fix things.

A cold chill goes up Orlando’s spine, causing him to stand as rigidly as a board. His head turns slowly until his eyes trace the outline of Sallie, his former lover. She seems unconcerned as she stands behind the Icon smiling slightly, as if pleased with herself.

Orlando: What do you mean?

Sallie sighs before spelling it out for him.

Sallie: I’m talking about the Weapon’s Lair, and including both you and Johnny Kingdom in it. That was all my idea. So see, I’m taking steps to right my past mistakes.

A response she wasn’t counting on was laughter, but that’s exactly what comes from Orlando’s clinched teeth.

Cruze: So let me get this straight, your trying to make up for your association with Douglas and the constant beat downs that you organized on me by sticking me in the Weapon’s Lair?

Sallie nods enthusiastically.

Orlando: This is how you show that you’re a changed person, by putting me in a match where I’ll be mangled, battered, bloodied, and have years shaved off of my career? Jeez, thanks a lot for that.

The pride over her idea begins to fade.

Cruze: And to further rectify your past mistakes you stick five other individuals in there who by all accounts hate my guys and would enjoy nothing more than decimating me?

Sallie lowers her head and scratches at the back of her neck.

Cruze: Do me a favor Sallie, and stop trying to do me favors. I’m not buying this whole redemption act, and if you want me to, you’re going to have to do something a little more beneficial for yours truly than sticking me in the most sadistic match imaginable. I’ll be seeing you in court.

Orlando takes a swig of his coffee and starts off down the corridor, Sallie watching him leave with despair creeping into her eyes. She realizes that Orlando is still not convinced that she’s turned over a new leaf.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

IWC….Beware of Dragon Dragon’s Awesomeness.

AURORA ROSE VS. KAELEN STORM

As the music fades in from the already crunching Introduction to "Six" by All That Remains. Kaelen steps out from backstage, the light meets him in the center of the rampway as he makes his way down to the ring. He tightens up a pair of gloves as he walks towards the squared circle. He steps up towards the ring, only turning at the top step to raise his arm once towards the crowd.

Mark: And we’re back live with the debut of this young man from Burbank, California. And from what I understand he’s quite a multi-faceted individual, trained in a multitude of styles. This should make him quite the challenge for Aurora Freak.

Susie: He looks scary, scarier than a math equation. I’m not sure I like him.

Comeau: Well, we’ll gauge what he’s capable of right now!

Kaelen stretches slightly in his corner in anticipation of Aurora Rose. He doesn’t have to wait long as Open Wounds by Skillet streams throughout the building and sends many of the fans into an uproar. Aurora Rose Freak gets quite the ovation as she saunters through the curtains onto the stage, followed as always by her brash forced husband David. For some reason Mr. Freak looks quite enthused as he rubs his hands together, almost gleeful with excitement. Aurora rushes the ropes and now slides into the ring, throwing up a rock gesture to the fans.

Mark: These two shockingly starting to get along and co-exist after their forced marriage at the hands of the dastardly Krissie McMorris.

Susie: They’re just as cute of a couple as John Lennon and Yoko Ono.

Aurora turns right in time to spot Kaelen moving towards her. Instead of catching her off guard with a fist he extends his palm, looking for the shake. Aurora takes hold of it in a surprising show of respect between these two very similar competitors. The bell rings while Freak watches this handshake with a keen eye.

Both athletes step back then lunge forward into a collar elbow but Aurora transitions smoothly into the arm ringer. She switches that hold up into an over the shoulder top wrist lock. Storm slips rather quickly out of the hold and behind Aurora’s back, shoving her forward into the ropes.

She bounces off them chest first then drops back into a reverse roll, her ankles land right on top of Kaelen’s shoulders. Obviously she is about to hit a modified head scissors before Kaelen shoves her off.

Comeau: Head scissors attempt from Aurora perhaps a little too early as this young man had it well scouted.

Susie: He is young, that’s why I like him.

Mark: But you just said…

Moore: Something about UNICORNS?

Comeau: No, just forget it.

Aurora rolls to her feet and turns towards Storm, who is in the midst of tapping his temple, showing he can match Rose in a war of wits. She smirks as the two start towards each other, applying another collar elbow. Kaelen switches fluidly into a reverse waist lock, trying to take Aurora over.

She slaps desperately at his hands and tries to push down on the wrists to free herself before rushing forward into the cables. She wraps her arms around the top cable and pushes off with her back, sending Kaelen rolling to his feet.

The second he stands up Aurora drops into a backwards roll, her legs landing on his shoulders. She snaps him over with ease this time with the head scissors. Storm crashes into the canvas and rolls to his feet, leaning on the ropes a tad stunned.

All the while Aurora taps her temple on her way to her feet. Storm smirks and swipes his hand down his face.

Comeau: She got him that time.

Susie: With a machete?

Mark: Um no.

Susie: Rats, it would make things easier.

David stares penetratingly into the ring, slapping the aprons and yelling the word “aggression” repeatedly to Aurora. She placates him by pretending to listen before stepping forward into the battlefield. The first real shot is fired as she delivers a kick to Storm’s stomach then proceeds to unload on him with right hands to the forehead.

She whips him off across the ring only to have Kaelen turn, reversing the Irish whip and instead pulling her forward into a drop toe hold. Aurora slams into the canvas while Storm jumps to his feet, rushes into the ropes and springs to the second one.

He flips over backwards at first looking for the moonsault only to have Aurora roll out of the way. In mid-air Kaelen twists his body and drops back first into the canvas, allowing him to roll quickly to his feet.

The second that he stands up Rose lunges into the air, looking for a leg lariat. Storm ducks it and Aurora lands on her feet behind him, her opponent spinning around and hooking one of her arms. She is now hoisted into the air for the half nelson slam when Rose reaches back with her legs, tangling them around Kaelen’s waist.

She falls forward, pulling him down into a roll up that leaves her seated on his chest holding down the back of his legs.

Kaelen kicks out and Aurora rolls back to her feet. Just as Storm is getting up Aurora drops into a leg sweep, taking his feet out from under him. He crashes to the canvas and Aurora gets to her feet, her spine facing him. To screams from the crowd Aurora flips over backwards, performing a standing moonsault.

Storm rolls out of the way and Aurora lands directly on her feet, rushing at her dodging opponent. Kaelen catches her with a small package.

Aurora kicks out and both athletes scramble to their feet.

Moore: Can someone please pause this so I can catch up? This is just as frantic as Pong.

Mark: Great analogy, and by that I mean your brain is pure feces. These two wrestle a very similar style and it’s really showing at this point.

David watches the action intently, clutching to something in his gym pants. The two competitors rise at virtually the same time and Aurora immediately pulls Kaelen’s head down into the side headlock. She squeezes at his cranium with all her upper body strength before Storm hooks her shoulder and hooks the back of her knee.

He lifts up both halves of her body, flipping her over backwards. Somehow Aurora lands like a cat on her feet, a rather shocked Kaelen rushing into a spinning back heel kick to his ribs.

The impact knocks the air from his body while Aurora extends her leg across the back of his neck. She’s now setting up for the Rock Dropper. However, Storm stands up, lifting her into the air with her leg still trapped across the back of his head.

She shockingly transitions into a hurricarana, flipping him over. Kaelen rolls through though, the two ending up with Aurora held in a sunset flip style pin.

Aurora kicks out.

Comeau: This action continuing at break neck speed.

Susie: I broke my neck when I was three because my mother dropped me, and then it happened again six months ago.

Again both athletes race each other to their feet, neither one obtaining the upper hand as of yet. As soon as they stand Storm catches Rose’s arm, swings under it and applies the twisting arm ringer. Aurora crumbles to her knees almost immediately due to the crippling pain.

Kaelen twists with a little extra vigor on the arm, hoping to earn a quick tap out. To his dismay though, Aurora drops sideways and away from Kaelen, pulling him down into a modified arm drag. Storm rolls across the canvas to his feet then turns right in time to spot Aurora getting up.

As she reaches her feet Kaelen charges in and jumps into the air, swinging around her shoulder and placing his arm across her neck. She is driven into the canvas with a neck tie, Storm landing on his feet behind her then leaning back into the cover.

Rose forces her shoulder from the canvas but at the same time has one of her arms taken by Storm. He applies a modified fujiwara, desperately trying to wrench the shoulder from the rest of her body. David watches on while biting his nails, captivated by this action.

Mark: Inverted Fujiwara from Kaelen, who is doing some significant damage to the arm.

Susie: It might be ripped off, which would be cool because Aurora be able to hold her severed arm and wash the hard to reach parts of her back.

Although in a lot of pain Aurora reaches up with her free hand, locking it around Kaelen’s jaw. She pulls back on his head enough for her far knee to lift and catch him to the temple. The result of her knee hitting skull reverberates all throughout his brain, causing him to weaken the hold.

David smiles widely but mumbles words of encouragement beneath his breath as Aurora has freed herself from the hold and is now rolling to her feet. Storm is doing the same just as Rose throws a right hand.

Kaelen sidesteps the inbound fist and hooks her arm around behind her back into the hammerlock. He keeps hold of her arm long enough to pull her around into a front chancery as well, going for the hammerlock DDT. Aurora reaches out with her free hand and hooks the back of Storm’s knee, lifting up on it.

He crashes to his back as a result and now Aurora flips forward, coming down with a senton elbow drop right to his chest. Kaelen convulses as a result while Aurora rolls to her feet then flips forward into a senton leg drop.

This move nails him to the throat, causing Storm’s body to launch into the air as his head remains stationary on the canvas.

Moore: It’s like Aurora is an acrobat in a circus, which would make David Freak the clown. Quick, ask him to make me a balloon animal.

Comeau: David is not a circus clown, and why that clarification had to come from my mouth I will never quite understand or forgive you for.

Aurora doesn’t go for the pin, instead she rises to her feet and rushes backwards into the ropes, ricocheting from them. She builds speed before lunging into the air, swinging her legs beneath her and coming down knee first straight into his face.

Kaelen’s entire body begins to shake while Aurora drops and hooks his leg.

Storm kicks out, getting his shoulder up in the nick of time. The fans are actually getting slightly behind him despite his mysterious, unfamiliar past. He sits up when Aurora stomps him to the back of the head, takes him around the neck and rolls him to his feet.

David is shouting gibberish that he’s heard from numerous Rocky movies as Aurora pulls Kaelen to his feet and places him in position for the stunner. She drops down to hit the move but Kaelen pulls his head free at the last second, causing her to land on her feet directly in front of him.

Storm takes her around the neck in a dragon sleeper position and bridges her up to her feet before taking her over into the roll of the dice diamond cutter.

Aurora crashes with great speed face first into the ring, sending her rolling to her back while Storm is rolling to the ropes. He takes hold of them and steps towards Rose who is severally disorientated. By sheer instinct and adrenaline alone she rises to her feet, not even knowing where she is.

That’s when Kaelen steps in taking her around the neck then lifting her up into a suplex position. He drops her down out of the vertical suplex into a sitout powerbomb. He leans forward into the back of her legs.

Aurora kicks out and in the process rolls into the ropes leaving an agitated Kaelen sitting on the canvas, loosing his cool.

A battered Rose has rolled towards the ropes, dragging herself up them out of desperation. The second she stands an angered Storm steps in with a hard, jaw shaking jab. She almost falls over due to the severe impact while Kaelen takes her by the wrist and whips her across the ring, stomping his boot as if signaling for the Dime Out (Roaring Big Boot).

Susie: He’s stomping his foot, possibly signaling that he’s marked a location to urinate.

Mark: Actually I think he’s motioning for something involving his boot.

Somehow Aurora is able to catch herself when she hits the opposite cables, wrapping her arms around the top rope. A mildly peeved Kaelen watches on in dismay before David jumps onto the apron behind him. He’s showering Storm with insults as Kaelen swings at his head with a kick.

Freak jumps back though and Kaelen turns towards a recovering Aurora. He gives her no more time to regroup, barreling towards her when Rose lunges out of the ropes, connecting with a front dropkick to his knee. With his legs cut from beneath him, Storm flies forward and lands throat first against the second rope.

Aurora realizes this as she drags her aching body to her feet and now rushes forward. She extends her leg, swinging around the middle rope and hitting a knee directly to his face. The 61-knee knocks Kaelen to his feet and sends him staggering backwards, throwing wild punches.

That’s before Rose takes him around the neck and rushes forward at the cables, jumping into the air and wedging her feet to the top rope. She pushes herself off and around into the Sinful Desires (Stratusfaction.) His face slams hard against the canvas and sends Storm rolling to his back.

Comeau: The Sinful Desires connects and Aurora has taken out Storm possibly for good. The veteran on the verge of victory.

Susie: There were too many “v’s” in that sentence, and by the way, I loved that show, especially the face peeling lizard aliens. Uh oh, I just wet myself.

Aurora crawls into the cover, eliciting a loud response from the fans.

Kaelen launches his shoulder from the ring, somehow avoiding defeat.

Susie: CHARLOTTE’S WEB!

Comeau: Unbelievably Kaelen Storm kicked out of the Sinful Desires. This young competitor is really proving himself here tonight.

Aurora is flabbergasted, enflamed with rage in fact as she stands up and waits for Storm to stand. Kaelen is just starting to get to his feet when Aurora steps in, slapping on the side headlock and rushing forward into the ropes. She is on the brink of hitting them when Storm pushes her off, sending her charging into the cables.

Rose turns and ricochets from the cables back first before charging right at Kaelen who throws a lariat. Aurora ducks it, hooking his arm then shooting her legs out across his spine. She wraps them around Kaelen’s far arm, going for the crucifix pin.

However, Kaelen shoves her up into the air, catching her in a fireman’s carry, perhaps setting up for the death valley driver. Somehow Aurora is able to twist around into a seated position on Kaelen’s shoulders however, setting up for a hurricarana.

Just when she is on the brink of hitting this move her eyes meet with Nathan Creed who is now standing on the stage alongside Krissie McMorris. The fans boo heinously at the sight of the duo while Krissie blows a kiss towards a distracted Aurora.

Comeau: What the hell are those two doing here?

Susie: I haven’t got a clue, but it’s nice to know Nathan was able to free his face from his hand after that super glue mishap.

Krissie is whispering into Nathan’s ear as he gives Aurora an enraged glare. Aurora is so confused by this glance that she doesn’t respond to Kaelen in time as he pushes up on her thighs, sending her flipping in reverse and landing on her feet.

She balances herself and rushes forward only to have Kaelen spin around into the Dime Out (Roaring Boot). The kick almost knocks Aurora’s distracted head off as she flips over backwards and crashes into the canvas.

Comeau: OHHH, what a sickening boot from Storm!

Susie: Aurora’s going to have a boot imprint on her face and David will surely find it kinky.

Freak is threatening Creed and McMorris from the end of the ramp, demanding they leave. Behind his back Aurora is now being pinned by Storm.

David turns around and his eyes open wide out of shock.

Comeau: And Kaelen Storm has picked up his first win here in the IWC thanks to one of the most vicious boots I’ve ever seen.

Susie: I’ve seen some nasty boots, mostly after I step in duck shit.

The crowd is still stunned by the outcome of this contest as Kaelen sits up victorious, raising his arms aloft. Finally Creed has been backed through the curtains by Krissie, although he didn’t want to budge. Who knows what he was told about Aurora but it’s got him looking quite homicidal.

Kaelen rolls under the ropes and marches right past David who follows him with angered eyes.

THE HONEYMOON BEGINS

Freak rolls into the ring under the ropes after this trying, grueling encounter, nervously approaching a recovering Aurora. He rubs at the back of his head apprehensively while now holding a microphone, having retrieved it before he entered the ring.

Comeau: I don’t think Freak should be in the ring with Aurora right now, he might serve as a good punching bag.

Susie: That’s what my parents always told me I was good for.

David tentatively lifts the mic to his lips.

David: Um, sugar knees, real sorry about the way this all turned out, but I’ve got some wonderful news for you.

Aurora pulls herself up the ropes, obviously in no mood for this. Before she can stop David finagles an object free from his pocket, revealing two plane tickets.

Freak: Jean Laffette finally gave us our wedding present, and granted it isn’t the race car shaped bed that I really wanted, it’s still thoughtful. He’s paid for our entire honeymoon, including two coach plane tickets to LAS VEGAS!

The look that Rose is beaming in David’s direction is almost castrating in its malice.

Freak: I know, I know, your as excited as I am to see Wayne Newton but before we get to the honeymoon, I want to ask you a favor.

Aurora is stunned that he could ask for a favor at a time like this.

David: If it’s not too much to ask, I want you to stay away from ringside during my match tonight.

Rose is stunned and appalled.

Freak: Not because you’re a liability but because I want to beat Christian Savior completely on my own. This roster has placed a lot of faith in me to face the World Champion tonight, so it’s time for me to give these people a reason to believe in me, to believe in the revolution.

Strangely Aurora is coming around, realizing that her husband’s intentions are noble after all.

David: I don’t want there to be any excuses for Savior. I want to beat him, and beat him straight up in this ring tonight to show the Conspiracy just how seriously they need to take this revolution.

Aurora stands up in her exhausted state while nodding sympathetically.

Freak: So please Rose, just wait for me backstage while I deal with this joke of a World Champion.

Surprisingly Rose pats David on the shoulder then turns, vacating the ring. Freak watches her leave while tossing away the microphone and hopping in place. His bout against the Rising Phoenix is scheduled to come up next and David isn’t about to go anywhere.

Comeau: David doing the honorable thing, not wanting any distractions at ringside or anyone who might interfere on his behalf. He wants to beat Savior tonight and do it straight up.

Susie: It’s not fair, I want to see Wayne Newton too.

David continues to look more motivated than ever before as he paces in the ring.

Mark: Well, we’re going to see it up next, David Freak versus Christian Savior.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Now Available on DVD

FUCK OFF

Billy Mayne’s smirking face comes into the camera’s view with a microphone lifted to his upturned lips.

Billy Mayne: It’s not very often that I get to interview people of real prestige around here, but now is one of those rare moments. For once, instead of wishing to slit my wrists while conducting an interview, I’ll do it with some real enthusiasm, because I happen to be joined by the Alpha Generation.

Boos echo throughout the backstage corridors as the camera pans out to bring into view former SCW World Champion Matt Hodges, and former IWC World Champion Hurse. Both men occupy opposite sides of Mayne, who finds himself excited to be in this Alpha sandwich.

Billy: Gentlemen, earlier tonight we saw you abduct Porno Lad…

Billy looks around at his surroundings before shrugging.

Mayne: But where is he?

The grins on the faces of Hodges and Hurse could bring light to a black hole.

Hodges: He’s safely under lock and key, we’ve got that big dumb ox Phantom watching him until we’re ready.

Billy: Ready for what?

Hurse: Ready to make that bastard pay for the way he’s traumatized me. Just look, look at my hand, look at the way it shakes.

Hurse extends his comically shaking hand.

Hurse: Do you have any idea how bad my nerves have been since Porno Lad joined the roster? Every waking moment of my day has been spent wondering how he’s going to prank me. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I can’t even use the bathroom without living in constant fear.

Hodges: That all ends tonight though, when with my assistance, Hurse exacts his revenge on that annoying Ashton Kutchner wannabe.

Hurse: Then our minds will be free of fear and all the concerns will be lifted from our shoulders as we challenge for the Tag Team Titles.

Matt: And win them in convincing fashion.

Hurse: Yeah, it should be as easy as abducting and brutalizing Porno Lad. I can’t wait to not only win the belts tonight, but have our public execution.

Hodges: It should be fun.

Where’s mommy?

Matt and Hurse are equally as stunned by the presence of Phantom, who looks quite flustered as his demonic eyes cut between the two.

Hodges: How should we know Jolly Green?

Phantom: I asked where my momma is! Tell me right now!

His fists ball up as Hurse steps between Hodges and Phantom.

Hurse: Robin is busy thinking up ways to apologize to Hellkat for last week’s little debacle. She’s going to go out there and smooth things over with Hellkat, and that’s exactly what you should be doing as well, on top of guarding our prisoner. Why aren’t you at your post?

Phantom: Relax, Porno Lad is locked in a closet just like you asked, which means I’m through doing favors for you. I need to talk to mommy, I have questions for her.

This information doesn’t sit very well with either Hodges or Hurse.

Hurse: Um, what kind of questions my little man?

Phantom gives him a stern, disgusted look with his face contorting in anger.

Phantom: Fuck off.

With that Phantom turns and marches down the corridor, leaving Hodges and Hurse equally as stunned.

Hurse: That little brat, that’s it, I’m sending him to military school.

DAVID FREAK VS. CHRISTIAN SAVIOR

The show finally returns to the ring where David Freak is anxiously waiting for his encounter with Christian Savior. He paces with eyes locked on the entry way.

Mark: Well we’re back after some turbulence amongst the Alpha Generation backstage, and if your just joining us you missed David Freak laying down the law to Aurora before this match. He’s obviously still out here on his own with something to prove.

Susie: Is he trying to prove that he can walk and think at the same time? Because that’s really not as easy as it sounds.

Comeau: Well, David is taking up the revolution against the Conspiracy here tonight.

David stands stoically in the center of the ring, no antics tonight as his eyes lock sternly on the stage. Anticipation builds for the arrival of the World Champion as Skillet’s “Falling into the Black” tears through the speakers, eliciting the hatred of the masses.

Comeau: Listen to this dejected reaction from the fans.

Susie: Why? Is Bono coming out?

The fans find themselves fickle however, when they spot only Dan Douglas marching through the curtains and onto the stage. The World Heavyweight title belt resides over the President’s shoulder as he swaggers to the ring in his dapper duds.

Mark: What is Dan Douglas doing coming out here? Where’s Christian Savior?

Susie: I bet he’s getting one of those facial treatments with the cucumbers over the eyes and stuff, although I just use pickles, and then I eat them afterwards.

Freak looks just as perplexed as the fans while Douglas starts up the stairs and stops on the apron, microphone in hand. He glares rather apathetically at the man who jumped the Conspiracy last week.

Dan: David my dear boy. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, well sometimes, but Christian and I have decided that your just not worth his time or energy.

This biased opinion leaves the fans swelling with rage and Freak dejected.

Douglas: It’s no slight against you and your lackluster abilities, but Savior has got to be rested up for his World title match against Riggs at Extinction. He can’t be exhausting himself against, how do I put this delicately, JOBBERS. So I’m afraid we’ll just have to re-schedule this match at the Champ’s earliest convenience. Sorry for the misunderst…

The microphone is snatched out of his hand by Freak, who’s had enough as he backs to the center of the ring.

Douglas: What biased decision making from Dan Douglas, it’s about time David cut him off.

Moore: And it’s about time I lost my last baby tooth. I have it here in a jar if you want to see it.

Dan: I’ll pass, thanks though.

A disturbing, fear inspiring smile is beamed towards the apprehensive President from the unstable Freak.

David: I’m afraid that’s just not going to work for me Douglas. I came here with the noblest intentions of pulverizing Savior and nothing, or nobody is going to change that. So either Christian comes to this ring, or you leave it in a body bag. Your decision Douglas.

A highly exaggerated gulp forces its way down the fear stricken Douglas’ throat. David begins to inch towards him as Dan looks frozen by his fear. That’s when David is spun around and a chain wrapped fist is swung directly between his eyes. The impact knocks David to the canvas and a smiling Savior stands over him.

Comeau: Oh COME ON! Savior just waffled Freak with a chain wrapped fist after sliding into the ring from the crowd.

Susie: Waffles are fun, but pancakes are boring.

The crowd is verbally jumping all over Savior who has the referee in his face, reading him the riot act. He casually unravels the chain from his fist and tosses it to a chuckling Douglas. All the while David is rolling across the canvas holding his forehead which has been lacerated from the chain shot.

Mark: This match hasn’t even started yet and already David is bleeding.

Susie: His Aunt Flow must be making an unexpected visit.

Freak leans on the ropes chest first now with blood trickling from an open gash in his forehead, the referee checking on his condition and inquiring as to rather he wants to proceed or not. Douglas is already motioning for Savior to come with him, as the President drops to the mats and starts up the ramp.

The World Champion rolls under the ropes and proceeds up the ramp with a spring in his step. His pearly whites flash audaciously towards the homicidal New Yorkers.

Comeau: Well Douglas and Savior found a way out of this match any means necessary.

David now falls into the referee from his kneeling base, shaking him and demanding something. Referee Wright looks stunned before he nods and calls for the bell, starting the match. A confused Savior turns towards the ring, his face twisted with uncertainty while mouthing the words “are you serious?”

Douglas is equally as bewildered as David stands up in the ring, blood streaming down his face and his feet barely holding up his body.

David: COME ON….CHAMP!

Anger sets into Savior’s eyes as the official starts a ten count, trying to disqualify the World Champion.

Mark: It looks like I was wrong, Savior hasn’t gotten out of this match. I can’t believe David’s balls, after taking a chain shot he still wants this match.

Susie: Yeah, I can’t believe David’s balls either, is it natural to have three of them?

Savior frantically looks back and forth at a stunned Douglas and the ring as the official’s count nears ten. Finally he rushes down the ramp and slides into the squared circle, a bludgeoned David pouncing on him.

Christian can’t even rise from his knees as Freak waylays him with rapid fire clubbing blows over the back. Christian knees trying to get up but David won’t stop landing the forearms and driving his knee into the top of his head.

Finally Savior pushes him off and rises to his feet when David stands in front of him, delivering a hard forearm shot directly to the side of his face. The collision knocks Christian loopy, sending him staggering backwards into the ropes.

Comeau: Freak absolutely unloading on Savior. I have no idea where he’s getting this from.

Susie: Probably that third genital.

Savior is shocked as David begins to chop him over and over again to the sternum, unloading a series of vicious knife edge slices. Already Savior’s chest is becoming as red as the claret flowing from Freak’s forehead, before David takes the Champ by the wrist and attempts to whip him across the ring.

However, Christian steps to the center of the ring, turns to face Freak, reverses the wrist lock and pulls him into a front chancery. Before Freak can react he’s hoisted into the implant DDT, the top of his lacerated skull being driven forcefully into the canvas.

A bloody imprint of his skull is left in the ring as David rolls onto his back and Savior sits on the canvas. A lewd smile inhabits the pompous Christian’s face as he stares at a proud Douglas. Savior now crawls into the cover and hooks the leg gingerly.

The Manhattan Center explodes as David kicks out just before the three, lobbing his shoulder into the air to the disbelief of all those watching.

Savior sits up now, his lower lip trembling and his eyes brimming with unbridled animosity.

Susie: David reaching for the heavens, maybe he sees that bright tunnel, full of angles, deceased loved ones, and my favorite TV sitcom family from Hangin With Mr. Cooper.

The crowd is still as stunned as Savior who rises to his feet and backs into one of the corners, watching David dejectedly. The official checks on Freak’s condition, asking him once again if he can continue before he’s grabbed by the shirt. Freak holds onto the striped clothe and pulls himself to his seat to a rousing response.

This reaction changes however, when Savior bounces off the ropes and charges forward right into a boot to David’s claret covered forehead. The full on strike knocks David to his back across the canvas, the referee again getting on Savior’s case.

Christian acts innocent but beneath his eyes one can tell he is satisfying his unquenchable blood lust. This becomes more pronounced as Savior steps towards David, takes him by the hair, drags him to his knees and delivers a straight headbunt to his laceration.

David is knocked to the canvas with Christian standing over him, some of his opponent’s blood now gracing his forehead. Savior emphatically wipes it away and tries to discard the blood droplets into a rabidly hostile crowd.

Mark: Savior trying to shower the fans with David’s blood. What a piece of work.

Susie: I knew Christian was a robot. No human’s hair could be that fabulous.

David desperately tries to get up despite everything he’s got going against him. His feet are planted to the ring when Savior steps to his side and sweeps his legs out from under him. David crashes to his back all over again after the Russin Leg sweep.

Savior rolls away from him to his knees, referee Wright pleading with the World Champion to please give David some recovery time. Christian isn’t abiding to these demands while David rolls to his elbows and knees, trying his best to stand up yet again.

The crowd is solidly behind him, slapping the barricades and stomping their feet to rally David back to his feet. Although he’s already lost a substantial amount of blood and took a brain scrambling shot to the skull, Freak is back upright.

He stands just long enough for Christian to connect with a spinning heel kick right to his forehead, directly on the gash. David tumbles to the ring yet again while Savior rolls across it to his knees, laughing as he motions to Freak then just as quickly waves him off dismissively.

Comeau: Savior now toying with David. He’s trying to send a message to everyone who believes in this revolution.

Susie: I wouldn’t want a Freak toy, unless it came with the kung fu death grip.

The ever so cocky Christian stands and begins to pivot between feet and stretch his quads as he waits for David to get up. Freak is struggling with everything that he’s got to stand, his body drained of it’s energy and now going on nothing more than adrenaline and motivation.

He gets closer and closer to an upright base, the fans pinning their hopes and dreams on his already exhausted shoulders. He finally stands to a lung blowing reaction then turns as Savior confidently lunges into the air, catching him around the neck for the diamond cutter.

Somehow Freak slips free, catches Savior by the back of the tights and rolls him up into the school boy. Everyone and their mother is erupting as the referee makes the count. Douglas is throwing a conniption fit as the official’s hand slaps the canvas.

Christian kicks out, getting his shoulder from the canvas just in the nick of time. He rolls backwards to his knees as David stands and swings around into a wild right hand. It connects to Christian’s temple before David pulls his arm back and lunges into the lariat.

Savior rolls under the arm however, ending up behind Freak who turns into the diamond cutter.

Comeau: Ohhh, it seemed like Freak was starting to put something together but just that quickly it was cut off by Christian.

Susie: It was cut off? So does that mean David’s a woman now? At last, someone to share my Rainbow Bright doll collection with.

Christian sits up on the canvas and winks towards the smirking President before leaning back into another arrogant pin, lightly hooking the unconscious David’s leg. The crowd has become quiet as the official makes the count.

Suddenly they come alive yet again as David kicks out to their sheer astonishment.

Mark: Oh my, OH MY, David kicked out of the diamond cutter!!

Susie: That’s as serious as a case of herpes!

Savior rolls to his knees and immediately begins to intimidate the referee into changing his decision. Obviously Christian did not come here to work tonight and he’s making that known to the referee. At the same time Douglas is lobbing threats at Wright from the outside of the ring.

This allows David a few valuable moments of recovery time, as he exhaustedly turns to his side. Blood still dampens his face as he finds himself powerless to stand. That’s when Savior drops down beside him, locking his arms around his neck in a rear naked choke.

The air is being deprived to Freak’s head as it’s twisted and wrenched violently by the aggressive, now crazed World Heavyweight Champion. The grin on Douglas’ face returns and threatens to cut his head in half as he gets glee from watching this destruction of Freak.

Comeau: Christian showing no remorse as he wrenches, rips and tears at Freak’s head with the rear naked choke. I desire David’s commitment but at this point he may want to throw in the towel.

Susie: I wear towels on my head to make myself look Muslim.

Mark: How horribly stereotypical of you.

Moore: Te-he, I don’t even own a stereo.

Every fan is showering David with their support, trying to infuse his tired, aching muscles with their energy. Despite their loudest pleas Freak falls to the canvas, laying limply on his shoulder, completely spent at this point. This doesn’t stop Christian from wrenching even further back on the neck, his eyes filling with pure sadism.

The referee steps in snatching hold of Freak’s wrist, lifting it tentatively into the air. He allows it to drop for the first time then lifts his wrist into the air again. Every fan watches closely as the arm falls lifelessly to the canvas a second time. This results in boos and the lowering of voices, the fans sitting on pins and needles as Freak’s arm is hoisted into the air a third time.

Douglas is already swiping his palms together and climbing onto the apron to congratulate Savior as Freak’s arm falls yet again. This time it shoots back into the air emphatically, bringing the fans back to life. Christian can’t believe it and Dan is absolutely stunned on the apron.

Comeau: You’ve got to be kidding me.

Susie: Did I tell my joke and not even realize it?

Mark: Thankfully, no, David somehow has found the strength to keep going in this match. How is he doing this?

Moore: He must have had a breakfast with lots of fiber.

David sits up on the canvas, the air being cut off to his already bloodied head but he refuses to remain grounded. Christian exerts as much strength as he can on the hold but it isn’t enough, David is intent on standing and there’s nothing that is going to stop him.

Freak feeds off the crowd’s support and the realization that the hopes of an entire federation are on his shoulders. He finally stands up and delivers an elbow to a stunned Christian’s ribs. Savior begins to break the headlock as David nails him again with his elbow.

Disbelief sweeps through Savior as Freak now delivers a knife edge chop right across the Champion’s sternum. The stiff impact staggers Savior and forces him to break the hold as David rushes into the cables in front of him.

He bounces off and comes back in for the clothesline from hell that Christian ducks, sliding around behind David, catching him by the neck and dropping into a layout reverse DDT. The energy is swept from the sails of the fans as Freak slams hard into the canvas across the back of his head.

Savior crawls up beside him and hooks his leg with more seriousness this time.

Again Douglas is on the verge of celebrating before Freak kicks out and does so with gusto. Christian rolls to his knees, slapping the canvas with both palms repeatedly, in an absolute rage at this point.

Susie: Oops he did it again.

Mark: That he did, Freak kicking out to our sheer astonishment.

Christian rises to his feet and looks towards the outside in anger, Douglas shaking his head sadly as if he’s let down his World Champion. Neither man had banked on this match going this long as Savior turns towards the bloodied, laid out Freak, reaching down for his legs.

Without warning Freak nips from his shoulders, his legs wrapping around Christian’s neck and using them to flip his opponent over into a modified head scissors.

Savior slams across the canvas and rolls to his seat, grabbing at his neck in pain.

Comeau: David still had enough left in him to pull off that move!

An agonizing Freak stands, whipping clotted blood from his face and stepping towards a reeling Savior. Christian has just reached his feet when David takes him by the bangs and slugs him to the forehead. David does it once again, the crowd swept up into a frenzy.

Savior tries to remain upright even as he’s drilled again right between the eyes, Freak getting his much due revenge. Another devastating right knocks Savior backwards into the ropes as David takes him by the wrist, whipping him across the ring.

Once again Christian reverses it though, pulling Freak forward and lunging into the air for the code breaker. Freak pushes Christian off though, sending him crashing spine first into the ring. The crowd is pumped as David steps forward, grabbing Savior’s legs, tucking them under his armpits and dropping back into a catapult.

Savior is launched sternum first right into the top turnbuckle post, his body bouncing off as he staggers backwards to the center of the ring. At the same time David is rushing into the ropes in front of him, setting up for the clothesline from hell.

As soon as he hits the ropes, Dan reaches under them, grabbing hold of Freak’s ankle. David turns around and kicks down at Douglas’ arm who clears them from harm’s way in the nick of time.

Mark: Dammit, as if being hit in the head with a chain weren’t bad enough, Douglas has to get involved as well.

Susie: Big deal, like being hit in the head is all that bad. I had someone try to drop an anvil on me once, and a freaking umbrella did nothing to protect me.

Comeau: That was Willy the Coyote.

Moore: Oh yeah.

Freak turns around and now rushes forward at the still dazed Savior, going for the clothesline from hell. Savior side steps the inbound arm and pushes Freak along by the back of the head into the cables. A stunned David bounces off the ropes and comes back in at Christian who twists around and charges in for a spear.

David actually has the wherewithal to leapfrog Savior and pull him down into the sunset flip. However, Freak stands up and leaps forward into the jackknife cover, all of his weight coming down on top of Christian’s sternum.

Savior desperately tries to kick out, his entire body shaking when the official makes the count.

Savior kicks out, eliciting a wave of despair from the crowd, who thought Freak had snuck in with the victory. David sits up, blood inching its way down his face and his eyes filled with raw emotion.

He stands up at the same time that Christian does and hits him with a huge forearm shiver. The shot sends Savior around into a spin, his back facing the World Champion who takes him over into a bridging German suplex.

The fans are standing, hooked on each slap of the canvas.

Savior kicks out yet again, causing great dread for the fans and Freak alike. Douglas has his hand over his heart, slapping the apron with the other palm and demanding the referee slow down his count.

Comeau: I’m speechless…

Susie: And I’m Susie…

Mark: No, no, no, forget it! Freak has almost picked up the victory twice. This is amazing.

David rises to his knees with his hands on his knees, refusing to be held back by his injuries. An amazed Savior begins to stand up in front of him when David delivers another chop across his already reddened sternum. A second chop lands on the World Champion’s chest before Freak roars and spins around into a roaring knife edge chop right across the side of Christian’s face.

It connects and almost snaps Savior’s neck as he stands there staggeringly. David now rushes backwards into the ropes, intent on hitting the clothesline from hell. He bounces from the cables and comes back in at Christian who delivers a straight superkick directly to Freak’s jaw.

The stiff impact knocks David backwards into the ropes as he tumbles through them. The front of his shins hit the top rope and slingshot his feet back to the canvas, causing him to stand up and rush forward into a rebound clothesline from hell.

The impact is so vicious it sends Christian into a corkscrew, everyone jumping from their seats excitedly. David gets to his knees, feeding off the energy and crawling into the cover. He hooks both of Christian’s legs for the pinfall.

Dan is half way in the ring before Christian kicks out, resulting in boos and screams from the fans. David rolls across the canvas to his elbows and knees, blood mixing with sweat as it cascades from his shocked features.

Mark: BOY WAS THAT CLOSE!

Susie: That was closer than my finger to this electrical socket.

Savior grips at his throat as he rolls to his knees, Freak calling for the support of the fans through a primal roar. He awkwardly stumbles towards the champ and clobbers him over the back with a clubbing blow then pulls him into a short arm clothesline from hell.

Christian ducks it, rushing into the ropes behind Freak who spins around right into rib shattering spear. David is launched from his feet and sent crashing to the ring viciously across his back as Christian lunges with his last remaining strength into the cover.

Comeau: Oh the spear from Savior! Does Freak have enough left to kick out!?!

The referee makes the count with the crowd screaming loudly.

And Savior has somehow fought his way out of quite the predicament. He gets to his knees in exhaustion as Dan slips into the ring with the World title, dropping it on Savior’s shoulder.

Mark: I don’t believe it, after all that it came down to the spear on Freak’s weakened body. Yet again Christian has snuck his way to victory.

Susie: I wouldn’t want to play checkers with Christian, he cheats too much.

Savior lifts the title aloft while rubbing at his throat, still stunned by the valiant effort that the bloodied Freak put into this contest.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

A PUBLIC EXECUTION

The show returns to the ring just in time to catch the furious reaction of the fans, who are irate at the sounds of House of the Rising Sun. The curtains part and through them Matt Hodges marches backwards, holding onto the lower end of a body bag. Hurse is on the other side as both men haphazardly carry Porno Lad towards the ring.

Comeau: Uh oh, Hodges and Hurse promised that they were going to make an example of Porno Lad before their match and apparently they’re men of their words.

Moore: What kind of example? I hope they tar and feather him, he’d be like a big chicken, which is wonderful.

The bag containing Porno Lad sways from side to side as the chuckling Alpha Generation members reach the ring. They put him on top of the apron and then roll their impending victim under the ropes into the squared circle. Porno Lad can be seen writhing around in the body bag, trying to free himself.

Mark: I shudder to think of what these two are about to do to Porno Lad, hopefully it’s not as heinous as what Psycho and Riggs did earlier.

Susie: I still can’t believe Riggs tried to eat Porno Lad, he looks like he’d taste too sour.

The Alpha individuals slip through the ropes into the ring, standing on opposite sides of Porno Lad. It’s at this point that Hodges retrieves a microphone from his back pocket, casually lifting it to his smirking lips.

Matt: What? Did you people think we were lying? Did you think we wouldn’t go through with the public execution that we promised?

Hodges makes a jerking off motion.

Hodges: Please, you people are just as retarded as Desolation. We guaranteed that Porno Lad would suffer for his past transgressions against us, that after tonight there would be no more pranks, no more fun and games or Punk’d style hijinks, and now we’re going to deliver on our promise.

The microphone is thrust towards Hurse, who graciously takes hold of it.

Hurse: Porno Lad didn’t know what he was getting himself into when he started to toy with me. That’s like picking a fight with a wolverine, or a badger, or a really angry rabbit.

Susie: I love rabbits, especially wearing them.

Hurse: You don’t mess with me, you don’t tangle with Matt Hodges, and you don’t disturb the Alpha Generation. Porno Lad is about to show each and everyone of you the consequences for doing all of the above. And after what we do to this little bastard with the enchanting hair style no one will stand in the Alpha Generation’s way ever again and we can get back to winning titles. Like the Tag Team titles.

The reference to the later title match has the fans’ skin crawling just thinking about Hodges and Hurse winning the tag belts.

Hurse: It’s time now for Porno Lad’s pranks to end.

Hodges chuckles as he and Hurse approach the body bag. The microphone is tossed over Hurse’s shoulder as he slaps his palms together, rubbing them against one another gleefully. Obviously both men are savoring this moment as Matt bends down, beginning to unzip the body bag.

Mark: Something tells me we’re about to see a truly gruesome event.

Susie: Is Anne Heche inside of that bag?

Hurse is crouching, palms to his knees and eagerness creeping in. Neither man can wait any longer to absolutely decimate the prankster as the body bag is slowly unzipped. That’s when to a loud reaction Porno Lad appears, but not in the body bag, instead he’s standing on the stage.

Comeau: Wait a minute, how did Porno Lad…isn’t he in the….how is he on the…?

Susie: Maybe Porno Lad is the Masked Magician!

Hodges looks up and around Hurse, spotting the source of the fans’ outburst, the presence of a smiling Porno Lad on the stage. A bandage is held to his forehead after that earlier stab from the fork as he raises his hand, waving his fingers towards Matt.

Hodges is utterly perplexed as Hurse turns and observes Porno Lad as well, great confusion setting into the Master of Control. He turns frantically back to the sack, his face going white at the sight of Pat Evans lunging out of the body bag. With a nightstick in hand he strikes Matt right to the side of the face. The shot knocks Hodges down hard to the canvas.

Comeau: WHAT THE!?! Pat Evans was inside of the body bag!

Moore: Then he’s the Masked Magician.

Hurse scrambles towards Evans, reaching down for his throat only to have Evans turn and crack the nightstick over his skull. Hurse crashes to the canvas as Pat stands up, kicking the body bag away from his feet. The crowd is giving this sight a very mixed reaction, but many of them are quite amused with the way Hurse and Hodges have yet again been foiled by the Submission Champion.

Pat strolls across the ring placing the nightstick over his shoulder and snatching the microphone from the canvas. He grins as he lifts the mic.

Pat Evans: Hey Hurse, I got one word for ya….GOTCHA!

For the first time in ages Evans is laughing.

Evans: Oh and before I leave, by Dan Douglas’ decree, your tag team title match starts…RIGHT NOW!

Another mixed reception is heard from the screaming fans as Pat steps across the ring. He slips through the ropes to the apron as his eyes meet with Porno Lad. PL gives him a thumbs up then follows it up with a middle finger shot directly in Evans’ direction. Pat is amused by this display before dropping to the mats and moving up the ramp.

Comeau: Yet again Pat Evans and Porno Lad have gotten the better of Hurse and now he and Hodges have been left laying moments before their big tag title match.

Susie: Porno Lad is the greatest, all he needs now is a trucker cap.

Hodges and Hurse are writhing on the canvas as a referee rushes down the ramp and slides into the ring. He stands up anticipation of this match commencing.

JOHNNY KINGDOM & ORLANDO CRUZE ©
VS.
RIGGS & PSYCHO
VS.
MATT HODGES & HURSE
TAG TEAM TITLES

Suddenly the Sacrament hits the PA system and results in a loud outcry of cheers and boos from the crowd. Through the curtains strolls Riggs and Psycho, both men looking conflicted by what has happened, as the man they attacked earlier, and one of their biggest rivals in the Conspiracy, have unintentionally just done them a tremendous favor. Hodges and Hurse have rolled across the canvas into the ropes, trying to help each other up desperately.

Comeau: Boy, this isn’t good for the Alpha Generation, but victory is no guarantee for Riggs and Psycho, because they still have to contend with the Tag Team Champions.

Susie: Team Mr. Clean are gonna give these two a run for their money.

Hurse and Hodges can barely stand up, still reeling from that nightstick shot. Matt falls through the ropes to the apron, leaving Hurse alone in the ring as Psycho and Riggs climb the steps. They enter the squared circle and find themselves grinning at the prospect of destroying their weakened, frail opponents. That’s when You Know My Name blasts through the PA system.

The fans jump from their seats in super excitement as Orlando Cruze saunters onto the stage. Once again he’s holding both of the Tag Team Title belts as he progresses angrily towards the two demented freaks in the squared circle. With no fear he hops to the apron, giving Riggs and Psycho a penetrating stare.

Comeau: The Icon is here and boy does he ever look focused on making these two eat their words.

Susie: Words are too fattening.

Orlando lifts both of the tag belts into the air in one palm while Riggs and Psycho seethe with anger at the mere sight of him.

WAKE UP

Wake Up by the Lost Prophets screeches over the PA system and elicits a massive pop from the fans. With no delay Johnny Kingdom moves through the curtains wearing the Cartel Champion the Cartel Championship belt over his shoulder. The fans are rallying behind him as his feet crash down on the mats surrounding the ring. He takes a moment to eye Orlando, who returns the stare, the tension between them able to be cut in a knife.

Mark: It shocks me every time I see these two coming out here and working together given their bitter hatred of one another. Somehow they’ve managed to coexist in the past but will they have the same luck here tonight?

It’s quite obvious that Psycho has no intention of exiting the ring, refusing to so much as even listen to his tag team partner. Riggs doesn’t put up much in the way of fuss, graciously allowing his partner to commence this match on their behalf. A conniving Hurse finds himself frightened when he turns around in the ring to find Psycho staring back at him.

He gulps in a highly exaggerated manner, realizing he’s about to face off with his longest rival as the bell sounds in the background. He rubs at his jaw, having no desire to face the monster, especially after the brutality Evans just unleashed on him. As soon as the bell chimes echo throughout the arena Hurse turns and tags out to Orlando Cruze, refusing to face his nemesis.

Psycho can care less who he faces as Hurse extends his palms out towards the scarred sociopath.

Hurse: Don’t say I never gave you nothing.

He winks towards the man who took away his World Championship as Orlando slips into the ring, and nods with a feint smile. Obviously he is appreciative of Hurse’s willingness to let him get his hands on Psycho, an individual the Icon has been feuding with for several weeks.

Hurse goes a little too far though as he pats Orlando on the shoulder. Immediately Cruze’s eyes shift to the palm then to the face of partner Kingdom, who is shaking his head sympathetically.

The Icon turns back to Hurse and reciprocates the friendly pat on the shoulder with a vicious European Uppercut right to the Alpha Gen member’s jaw.

Comeau: Orlando not taking kindly to being touched.

Susie: That happens to me all the time, especially on the subway. Orlando should do what I did and invest in a rape whistle.

The brutal Euro uppercut sends Hurse stumbling backwards in the direction of Psycho. The second he gets within reach of the monster, Psycho spins him around and lifts him up into the air, scoop slamming him back first into the turnbuckle.

Mark: OHHH!

Moore: I hope Psycho wasn’t planning on that turnbuckle catching Hurse.

Hurse drops to the canvas, writhing in anguish while Hodges watches all of this stunned from the apron. In a fit of anger he begins to chastise both men in the ring, verbally berating them for their illegal dissection of his tag team partner.

This crude behavior from Hodges elicits a shocking response from Orlando and Psycho, both men turning to glare at one another awkwardly. They now shrug and rush across the ring, both men hooking Hodge’s arms and then double hip tossing him over the ropes.

A shocked Matt crashes into the canvas and then rolls to his feet before Psycho connects with a mafia kick to his jaw. The grazing blow causes Hodges to stumble into Orlando’s shoulder, who quickly lifts up his opposition into a back drop position.

However he steps towards Hurse who is struggling to reach his knees. He finally achieves a kneeling base when Hodges is seated on top of his shoulder and Riggs springs to the top rope behind both them. He comes flying off and catching the back of Matt’s head, pulling him face first into the canvas with the bulldog. At the same time Hodges pulls Hurse via his pelvis directly nose first into the ring.

Mark: It’s nice to see that the teams of Psycho & Riggs and Kingdom & Cruze can agree on something, their mutual dislike of the Alpha Generation.

Susie: I think the Alpha Generation’s fan club meeting could be held in a tool shack. TE-HE, that was catty.

Hodges and Hurse already seem like they’ve been taken out of the contest as they roll to the outside of the ring. The second both men spill to the mats Psycho spins towards Orlando and goes for another mafia kick. The Icon ducks it and Psycho spins right into a vicious chop across the chest, followed by a rocking right hand to the jaw.

The shocked Psycho is then booted to the ribs as Orlando takes him by the hair, charging him across the ring forehead first into one of the turnbuckles. The impact is disorientating for the Sadistic One, who spins around right into a series of kicks and forearms to the body.

Comeau: Orlando unleashing all of his pint up hostilities on Psycho. He has not taken kindly to the comments made by Psycho over the past few weeks.

Susie: It’s not mean to call someone a failure, that was my father’s pet name for me.

The reeling Psycho tries to cover up but can’t prevent the blows from landing as Orlando takes him by the wrist. He drags him out of the corner into a short arm forearm strike. The collision knocks Psycho backwards into the ropes as Orlando now rushes forward for a lariat to take him to the outside of the ring.

Psycho side steps him at the last second though, pitching Cruze through the ropes to the outside of the ring. The Icon splats across the mats but quickly begins to rush to his feet. As the former Champion rises to his feet a vengeful Hurse rushes around the ring straight at him.

Unfortunately he charges right into a high back drop from Orlando, sending him tumbling back first hard into the outside mats. Orlando now turns back towards the ring with the fans cheering him on, having no idea that Riggs has entered the squared circle and is charging at his tag team partner.

Psycho bends forward in the ring, catching his inbound partner by the inner thighs and throwing him not only over his head but over the ropes as well. Riggs crashes down seat first right across Orlando’s sternum as both men spill to the mats with a thud.

Comeau: WHAT A DIVE!

Susie: Wow, tag matches seem so fun, it’s like the circus without any scary clowns.

A smirking Psycho stands up straight, amused by the move he just delivered on the unsuspecting Cruze. However, he now finds HIMSELF caught off guard with a dropkick from Johnny Kingdom. The Team Leader has apparently seen enough, entering the ring and taking out the wide opponent.

Psycho tumbles to the ring and scrambles across it to his feet. He stands just in time for Kingdom to pop him across the jaw, then do so once again. These incredibly high impact blows have Psycho absolutely reeling as he stumbles backwards across the ring.

Mark: Johnny has had his fill of Psycho.

Susie: Yeah, Psycho does look high in fat and calories.

The referee is desperately trying to regain some sort of order in this contest, which has been pure anarchy since the opening bell. Kingdom lunges forward into Psycho’s jaw with a forearm that knocks him backwards into one of the corners. His wide spine presses against the corner when Kingdom comes charging in and jumping high into the air, landing another forearm strike.

The shot disorientates the scarred competitior as Kingdom steps to the center of the ring then comes charging in once more. He lunges high into the air when Psycho reaches out and catches him across the sternum, sweeping his legs out from under him with a standing STO slam.

The Team Leader is driven forcefully into the canvas across his back while Psycho remains pressed against the corner for support.

Moore: He just swatted one of the Baldies out of the air like he were nothing more than a Warwick Davis Leprechaun.

Comeau: I preferred Willow myself.

Johnny rolls across the canvas reaching for his kidneys in pain as Psycho barrels out of the corner and lunges into the air. With an extension of his back he comes crashing down spine first right into Kingdom’s ribs with a senton splash. The impact results in excruciating pain for the former World Champion as the diabolical Psycho rushes to his feet.

On the outside of the ring Orlando has now been whipped by Riggs directly into the steel plated barricade. The stunned Icon slams into the barrier hard shoulder first, bashing from its surface viciously. All the while Hodges and Hurse have crawled across the mats, meeting each other half way and now trying to hide in the shadows while their opponents decimate each other.

Psycho pounces on Kingdom with a hard stomp directly to his face, Johnny rolling to his hands and knees as a result. The second he pushes himself up into a crawling base Psycho stomps down on one of his hands, trying to inflict as much damage as possible.

Johnny rises to his knees and protects his damaged fingers as Psycho forces him all the way to his feet only to land a high impact headbunt. The collision causes Johnny to twist in circles as he stumbles into the ropes, leaning against them kidneys first.

Behind him on the outside of the ring a plotting Hurse and Hodges are trying to be as discreet as possible as they strategize a sneak attack. The dazed Team Leader looks up at Psycho who comes barreling forward, looking for a headbunt right to his opponent’s ribs.

At the last second Johnny sidesteps him though, pushing Psycho along and through the ropes. The gigantically proportioned Psycho twists in mid-air and crashes into both Hodges and Hurse back first. All three men plummet to the outside mats to a loud roar from the sold out crowd.

Comeau: Johnny almost with a sixth sense allowing him to take out virtually all of his opposition.

Susie: Are you saying that he has a Spidey Sense? Because that would be WICKED!

Johnny turns around and takes hold of the top rope, preparing to perform a high flying move on his recuperating opponents outside. He steadies himself and begins to jump into the air when Riggs slides into the ring behind him and wraps his arms around Johnny’s ankle.

Kingdom can’t perform a high flying crossbody as he had planned, forced to turn around now and begin to stomp Riggs repeatedly to the forehead. The Painted Warrior rolls across the ring towards the ropes, ending up on the apron when Psycho slides in behind him.

He steps up right behind Johnny, wedging his shoulder to his spine then lifting him up into the air. Before the Team Leader has a chance to respond, he’s twisted around into a sit-out blue thunder bomb. Psycho leans forward into the back of Johnny’s thighs for the pin.

Kingdom launches his shoulder from the ring. Clearly the referee has now decided that Kingdom and Psycho are the legal men by process of elimination.

Hodges and Hurse are dragging themselves to their feet but refuse to get back into their corner, instead watching the action from the outside mats.

Mark: What a slam by Psycho on the distracted Kingdom. This man and Riggs make such a proficient tandem.

Susie: Just like peanut butter and swiss cheese.

Comeau: Thanks, I think I just threw up in my mouth.

Moore: I do that every time I see Psycho’s face.

An irritated Psycho stands up and steps to his corner, tagging out to Riggs who had just gotten back to his feet. The Sadistic One now approaches Kingdom, taking him by the arm and standing him up. Riggs steps to his opposite side, also hooking one of his arms before both men lift Johnny and bring him down ribs first across their raised knees.

The double gut buster inflicts a lot of damage on the already weakened Team Leader who is now stood up and places in a front chancery by Riggs who lifts him into the air for a vertical suplex.

Instead of finishing the move he drops Johnny backwards right on top of his partner’s shoulder, Psycho dropping to his knees with an over the shoulder back breaker. The impact proves devastating as Kingdom flips over and tumbles to the mats, Riggs spinning around and flipping forward into a jackknife cover.

Johnny pushes Riggs off of him before the three count can be made.

Mark: A close pinfall by Riggs and Psycho after some impressive teamwork.

Susie: The only thing that impresses me is my reflection in Johnny’s head.

The crowd is screaming for the Team Leader to stand up, which shockingly Johnny is abiding to. He sluggishly begins to rise when Riggs steps in and jabs him across the forehead, then does so again. Each shot further discombobulates Johnny, who swings his arms to remain upright as he staggers across the canvas.

He falls against the cables as Riggs chops him hard across his sternum then takes him by the wrist. Riggs whips him across the ring directly into the cables then bends forward for the back drop. As Johnny comes back in he stops just short of his waiting opponent and delivers a hard punt kick straight to his chest.

The shot causes Riggs to stand up straight in a dazed state while Johnny charges backwards into the ropes, building momentum. He bounces off of the cables and comes back in at Riggs who suddenly lunges into the air, twisting around into a hard back elbow that sends Johnny crumbling to the ring.

Riggs falls beside him and scoots into the lateral press, wedging his forearm to Johnny’s face for good measure.

Johnny kicks out yet again, preventing a pinfall as Riggs protests to the referee. The number one contender rises to his feet now and grabs Johnny around the neck, rolling him to a kneeling base. The Painted Warrior slaps his knee, setting up for a million dollar knee lift as he rushes into the ropes.

Susie: Te-he, Riggs is playing paddycakes on his knee.

Comeau: Actually he’s calling for a knee strike which he may be on the verge of seeing.

Riggs now charges into he ropes, hitting them back first when Hodges jumps onto the apron behind him, delivering a grazing forearm to his back. This prompts Riggs to step forward then lunge into he air, connecting with a corkscrew kick right to Matt’s face.

As the kick connects Hodges is knocked momentarily retarded, twisting and tumbling ribs first onto Hurse’s shoulder, who was waiting to catch his tag team partner. After landing the maneuver Riggs stands back up and charges directly at the slouched over Kingdom.

He launches his knee up into the face but at the last second Johnny side steps it and sticks his head under Riggs’ armpit. The shocked goth is hoisted into the air and spun into the Angle Slam. Riggs crashes violently into the ring spine first, leaving both he and his opponent spent on the canvas.

Comeau: Kingdom landing a very high impact spinning back drop but now he must make that tag.

Susie: Oh no, I hope he doesn’t tag me, I don’t want to be in there against monsters.

Riggs and Kingdom both begin to show signs of life, rolling to their sides and moving sluggishly towards their corners. Johnny’s entire body is enflamed with pain as he begins to crawl desperately towards his corner, Riggs doing the same.

The fans are screaming as Kingdom reaches out for the ropes and then suddenly realizes that there is no Orlando present to make the tag. Cruze is still recovering on the outside of the ring, crawling across the mats towards his corner and leaving Johnny with no body to make the hot tag to.

Riggs does not face the same problem as he lunges from his knees and slaps the outstretched hand of the leviathan, Psycho. The grotesque apparition steps over the ropes and pounces on the kneeling Kingdom with a boot right to the back of his head.

The shot knocks Kingdom to the canvas and sends him rolling across it in the direction of his corner. He grabs the corner ropes and pulls himself to his feet, leaning on the turnbuckle chest first. That’s when Psycho barrels towards him and jumps into the air with a stinger splash directly to the upper back of the Team Leader.

Johnny is squashed against the turnbuckle as Psycho takes him by the shoulder and pulls him spine first into his shoulders. He stands up straight at this point with Kingdom trapped in the torture rack. A smiling Psycho relishes in the suffrage he’s inflicting as he steps to the center of the ring, twisting and mangling the Team Leader across his shoulders.

Johnny is absolutely writhing in pain, trying desperately to free himself before he blatantly rakes Psycho’s eyes, and has no reservations or quandaries about doing so.

Psycho roars in pain as a result and lets Kingdom slip off of his shoulders, landing on the canvas in front of him. To his disbelief Johnny has transitioned from the torture rack into a front chancery on his opponent, shooting his arm out to his side and calling for the Exodus Finale (Brainbuster DDT).

Before he can connect Psycho wedges his hands to Johnny’s sternum and shoves him backwards into the ropes. He bounces off and comes back in at Psycho who catches him with a tilt a whirl that leads to his opponent planted across his shoulder.

Psycho turns and rushes across the canvas for a running powerslam when Kingdom slips off his shoulder landing on his feet behind his opponent. Before Psycho has the chance to respond, Johnny connects with a jumping reverse neckbreaker.

Comeau: Big neckbreaker by Kingdom, who really needs to make that tag now. He’s not going to get many more opportunities to do so at this point.

Susie: Who’s he gonna tag though, there’s no one in his corner, except for maybe his imaginary friend. Or, or, maybe it’s an invisible bear, YAY!

Mark: Were you born retarded or was it all that glue you sniffed as a child?

Kingdom forces himself up to his elbows and knees, his eyes looking towards his still empty corner. A brief glimmer of hope appears though, as Orlando pulls himself up onto the apron, protecting his damaged shoulder. Orlando now reaches over the ropes, pleading for the tag.

Shockingly, there almost seems to be concern in Orlando’s eyes for his partner’s condition and happiness lurking in Kingdom’s pupils at the sight of his tag team partner. Kingdom crawls towards his bitter nemesis, reaching out with twiddling fingers for the tag.

Their hands are on the verge of connecting when Hodges and Hurse pull Orlando down out of the apron to the outside mats.

Comeau: Damnit, Hodges and Hurse refusing to tag into this match and now trying to keep Kingdom from tagging out to Orlando.

Cruze turns into a right hand from Hodges, which spins him in the direction of a waiting Hurse. The Master of Control goes for a right of his own only to have it blocked. The Icon now pops Hurse hard across his jaw, then turns and delivers a European Uppercut to Matt’s face.

Finally Orlando spins around, takes Hurse by the back of the head and charges him shoulder first directly into Matt’s stomach almost with a spear. Both men crash to the mats as Orlando turns back to the ring, anxious to make the tag. However, he’s too late as Psycho has stepped up behind Kingdom, wedged his shoulder to his spine and hoisted him into a particularly nasty back drop driver.

Johnny flips over to his seat, looking absolutely stunned by this impact while Psycho crawls across the ring and makes the tag to Riggs. The Painted Warrior slips into the ring and approaches the seated Kingdom, delivering an absolutely vicious spinning back heel kick directly to his face.

The sound of the boot connecting with skull echoes throughout the arena as Johnny tumbles to his back as Riggs falls into the cover. He hooks the leg for the three count.

To a piercing ovation from the crowd, Kingdom again kicks out, narrowly preventing defeat.

Susie: Ew, they almost won, I wonder how they would celebrate. Random castrations?

Comeau: You never know with these two, but yes, Riggs was seemingly seconds from securing the Tag Titles for his team. I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen the belts in this type of jeopardy.

Moore: I hate that show, Alex Tribeck’s mustache frightens me, and Ken Jennings is terrifying.

Orlando climbs back up into his corner, anxiously extending his hand for the tag as an exhausted Kingdom rolls to his elbows and knees, trying to find the strength to stand up. Riggs makes it all the more agonizing as he begins to deliver clubbing blows to Johnny’s upper back.

He now connects with a hard forearm to the side of Johnny’s head before taking him around the neck, setting up for the jawbreaker. He jumps into the air and lands on his seat to connect with one of his patented moves but is shocked when he realizes that he didn’t pull Kingdom down into the jawbreaker.

At the last second Kingdom fought it off and Riggs now finds himself seated in front of his opponent who lunges forward into a flip over blockbuster.

Mark: Ohhh, Kingdom taking a page out of Max Craven’s handbook with that seated blockbuster variation.

Susie: Max has a playbook? Is it a pop up book? I don’t want to be poked in the eye by anything.

Orlando is stomping his foot and slapping the top turnbuckle pad, trying to rally the fans in support behind Kingdom. They stand up slapping the barricades and also stomping their feet against the cement, creating quite the ruckus in the Manhattan Center.

Johnny is feeding off the raw emotion, slowly getting to his feet when Psycho steps into the ring behind him and spins the Team Leader around. He takes him by the wrist, whipping him into the turnbuckle spine first then charging in for a big splash.

He jumps into the air once again when Johnny steps out of the way, causing Psycho to fly over the corner and slap forehead first against the top of the turnbuckle post. Johnny now ducks into a forward roll and dives out of it into the tag to Orlando, eliciting a loud reception from the crowd.

Comeau: Orlando finally has got the tag back into this match, and it couldn’t have come at a better time.

Susie: Yep, I think House just went to commercial break.

A disorientated Psycho staggers backwards into his partner’s waiting arms. The recovering Riggs keeps his associate upright as both men turn around and find themselves shocked at the sight of Orlando pulling himself over the top rope into a double lariat.

His thick arms connect to both of their throats, knocking the two competitors down hard to the ring amongst a rousing response from the crowd. Orlando now rises to his feet as Riggs rolls to a standing base as well and comes staggering towards the Icon who delivers a roaring European Uppercut.

The impact to Riggs’ jaw, sends him flying backwards into the corner as Orlando turns in time to spot Psycho barreling towards him. Orlando side steps his inbound opponent and pushes him along into the ropes. He bounces off and comes back in at Cruze who catches him with a release over head belly to belly suplex.

Psycho crashes hard against the canvas as Orlando turns to his elbows and knees, really cooking at this point. As soon as he stands though, Riggs charges up behind him delivering a mafia kick to the back of the head.

The shot knocks Orlando to his knees while Riggs turns around and finds himself shocked to be pulled into the shoulders of one of Johnny Kingdom. The Team Leader has gotten his second wind as he spins in circles holding Riggs in a fireman’s carry and waiting for Orlando to stand.

As soon as his partner gets up Kingdom pulls Riggs over into the death valley driver and at the same time Orlando catches his opponent’s legs on his shoulders, dropping into a sit-out powerbomb. The crowd pops over the tremendous tag team maneuver.

Mark: That’s what I like to see, some actual tag team maneuvers from Kingdom and Cruze, who are becoming more and more comfortable working with each other.

Susie: I’m still not comfortable working with you, because your hand is constantly on my ass.

Comeau: That’s not my hand Susie.

Moore: Oh, ohhh, I was wondering why my palm smelt so funky.

Orlando leans forward with his shoulders pressed to the back of Riggs’ thighs as the official makes the count.

Hodges dives into the fray and drops a double axehandle to the back of Orlando’s head, breaking up the pinfall.

Johnny spins around and spots this, charging at the rising Hodges and catching him with a running knee strike to his face. The shot knocks Hodges backwards into the corner, which keeps him propped up as the official steps in to check on his condition.

Behind the referee’s back Hurse has slid into the ring, Tag Team title belt in hand. He charges at Johnny, swinging the championship wildly at his head only for Johnny do duck it. As a result Hurse rushes onward right into the waiting shoulder of Orlando, who lifts him into the air and spins him around into a Double A spinebuster.

As Hurse is driven into the canvas the crowd erupts, pleased that his attempted cheating backfired miserably. Orlando begins to stand up behind Kingdom who turns in time to catch the inbound foot of Hodges. Matt had rushed out of the corner with a superkick only for the Team Leader to catch it right before it could land against his jaw.

Johnny pushes the foot down but is shocked as Matt goes into a full spin and attempts to connect with a dragon leg whip kick. Kingdom ducks out of the way however, and the back of Hodges’ boot connects with Orlando’s face. The shot knocks Cruze to the canvas as Hodges falls to his elbows and knees.

He stands up when Kingdom wraps his arms around his waist from behind. Matt charges forward into the ropes, dragging Kingdom along behind him and then hitting the cables sternum first. He tries to hold on and prevent being rolled up but is unable to as Johnny drops backwards.

Hodges is pulled into a reverse roll and then yanked out of it into a rolling German suplex. Matt is slammed hard across the back of his head and shoulders before rolling lifelessly under the ropes to the apron. An equally as damaged Hurse has rolled to the opposite apron, both men trying to recover.

Comeau: Hodges and Hurse tried to cheat their way to the tag team titles but both men have now been laid to waste.

Susie: Waste is fun, I use to play in the radioactive type all the time, until I lost the hair on my head and started growing hair on my chest.

Mark: Interesting.

Inside of the ring the action continues to escalate as Kingdom crawls towards the tag title belt that Hurse tried to take his head off with. He snatches the gold off of the canvas and then turns, spotting Orlando from the corner of his eye.

The Icon has just reached his feet and turns sluggishly towards Kingdom who spins around with the belt, prepared to take his partner’s head off. However, at the very last second he stops, the strap just inches removed from Orlando’s face. Cruze takes a step back out of shock, realizing he was within seconds of being knocked unconscious by his own partner.

A seething Kingdom locks eyes with the Icon, either man unsure of his partner’s motives. That’s when Psycho and Riggs club Cruze and Kingdom to their backs respectively.

Comeau: Kingdom looked like he was going to lay out Cruze with the belt, but for some reason he hesitated, just like last week when Orlando was on the verge of using that spike.

Susie: Maybe Kingdom got caught in some type of time warp or was frozen like Captain America?

Psycho steps over Orlando and begins to stomp him repeatedly while Riggs drives repeated forearm strikes into Johnny’s face. He now pulls the Team Leader up and spins him around into a reverse waist lock while Psycho stands Orlando only to hook his neck and his leg for a fisherman suplex.

The Tag Champions are fighting to free themselves when Hodges pulls himself over the top rope, flying over the heads of Riggs and Kingdom and catching the Painted Warrior around the waist on the way down. At the same time Hurse has sprung to the top rope and now flips over Psycho, catching him around his waist as well.

Both Psycho and Riggs are pulled down into sunset flips, which causes them to drag Kingdom into a bridging German suplex, and Orlando into a bridging fisherman suplex. The referee is utterly confused before dropping and slapping the canvas with both palms as Orlando, Kingdom, Psycho, and Riggs are all being pinned in some fashion.

Everyone kicks out at the very last second, resulting in a standing ovation from the fans.

Mark: That had to have been one of the craziest things I’ve ever seen.

Susie: Then you’ve obviously never seen my vagina.

The crowd is still buzzing over that last series of pinfalls as all six men lay on the canvas recovering. It doesn’t take long for the teams of Hodges/Hurse and Riggs/Psycho to reach their feet though. All four men get up and immediately begin to exchange fisticuffs with one another.

Hodges is teeing off on Riggs and Hurse is battling it out with Psycho. Fists are flying all over the ring before Psycho delivers a shot devastating enough to knock Hurse to the canvas. At the same time Hodges connects with a step up enzugari to the back of Riggs’ head, knocking him to his elbows and knees.

Matt then stands with his back to the ropes as a surprisingly recovered Kingdom charges across the ring, stepping off of Riggs’ back and launching himself into a crossbody that connects to Hodges’ sternum. Both men tumble over the top rope and crash to the outside mats.

At the same time Orlando charges across the ring into a lariat to Psycho’s throat that takes them both over the ropes to the outside as well.

The fans are still going nuts as Riggs rises to his feet and finds himself shocked to be caught in Hurse’s clutches/ The Master of Control holds Riggs in a stunner position before rushing across the ring and dragging the number one contender along behind him.

He seems to be setting up for the Disinfectant (Contra Code) to much despair. Before he can run into the cables however, Riggs pulls his head free and takes his opponent around the neck. He holds him in a reverse DDT position before lifting Hurse up into a reverse suplex only to drop him on his shoulder.

Riggs now spins around and connects with the Hopskotch (Michinoku Driver II) to a major pop from the Manhattan Center crowd.

Comeau: The Hopskotch from Riggs! We may have NEW Tag Team Champions!

Susie: Am I suppose to be excited? Okay, YAY!

Riggs crawls into the hook of the legs, going for the pinfall to a loud ovation from the fans.

Somehow Hodges is able to re-enter the ring and dive in to beak up the pinfall in the nick of time. The break up causes Riggs to roll across the ring, getting to his feet in a fit of anger, especially as an exasperated Matt charges towards him.

He rushes at Riggs and then is caught in a tilt a whirl but ends up on top of Riggs’ shoulder. He is setting up for another Hopskotch. He pulls Matt down into the move but somehow Hodges flips forward, landing directly on his feet with a tremendous display of agility.

Riggs, who had fallen to his seat has no time to respond as Matt spins around and charges in with a brutal front dropkick directly to his face. Both boots meet Riggs’ forehead with an equal amount of brutality, sending the number one contender rolling towards the ropes.

Hodges now stands up, celebrating when he turns right into a boot to the gut from one Johnny Kingdom. The Team Leader places him in a front chancery then hoists him into the air, connecting with a running version of the brainbuster DDT. The top of Hodges’ head meets the canvas with incredible force while Johnny crawls into the cover.

Comeau: The Exodus Finale from Kingdom. He could be on the verge of retaining the Tag Team Titles.

Susie: Again? Team Rogaine with another victory?

The referee slides in and makes the count.

Psycho drags Kingdom out of the lateral press then jumps into the air, big splashing his kidneys. A roar of pain emanates from Kingdom as Psycho stands up, taking him around the jaw and leading him up to his feet. He takes him around the neck, setting up for the Psychotic Episode.

Suddenly Psycho is grabbed by the shoulder though and spun around, his head being trapped in a stunner position by a recovered Hurse. The former World Champion rushes forward, stepping up the turnbuckle then flipping in reverse with the Disinfectant (Contra Code).

The back of Psycho’s head slams viciously into the canvas, seemingly taking him out of the equation. Hurse begins to stand up at this point, holding his cranium and staggering around, trying to fall into the cover but having difficulties getting his bearings.

He just turns to go for the pin when Kingdom charges in and almost decapitates him with a lariat. Johnny pulled down his elbow pad in order for his bicep to meet Hurse’s throat with neck cracking velocity.

Hurse is flipped completely over backwards after the impact while behind a kneeling Kingdom, Orlando crawls into the cover on Hodges, hooking both of his legs.

Comeau: They did it again!

Susie: They broke wind in public?

Mark: NO! Orlando Cruze has just pinned Matt Hodges, meaning he and Kingdom have retained the Tag Titles miraculously.

Moore: Oh, then that’s not as stinky.

The fans are screaming wildly, going absolutely nuts as bodies litter the ring and ringside area, everyone suffering from the physicality unleashed in this tag team encounter. The Icon stands up and staggers towards the ropes, falling against them as his arm is raised in victory. A dazed Hodges rolls across the canvas towards the ropes, right near Hurse who is now seated motionlessly in a corner.

Psycho and Riggs have spilled to the outside mats holding their skulls and looking irate in regards to how this match just turned out.

A COURT SUMMONS

An exhausted Johnny Kingdom is leaning on his forearms and knees against the canvas, sweating up a storm after this incredibly physical, fast paced thrill ride of a match. All the while Orlando has pulled himself up into a corner, using it as a prop to hold himself up. He too is exasperated from one of the most grueling defenses of the tag titles yet.

Comeau: These two just endured one of the most competitive Quest for the Crowns Tournament matches I think we’ve ever seen. What a match for those Tag Team Titles.

Susie: It was so much fun I think I skipped my period.

Tension begins to mount in the building at this point as Kingdom stands up, turning and finding his eyes interlocked with Orlando’s. A still adrenaline fueled Cruze steps forward, finding himself nose to nose with the Team Leader. While cooler heads prevailed in their tag match, the same cannot be said for the aftermath.

Comeau: Uh oh, these two can only stay cohesive for so long.

Susie: Oh no, not more cohesive. You saw what it did to Nathan earlier.

Orlando and Johnny immediately begin to jaw jack with one another when the Team Leader slightly headbunts the Icon. Cruze is pushed back a bit before he steps forward and rams his own forehead against Johnny’s skull, both men grinding noses at this point.

Hold it, hold it boyos.

The crowd reacts with mixed applause as Max Craven comes charging down the ramp, dressed in some kind of cheap bailiff costume. He slides into the ring with microphone in hand and a piece of paper occupying the other palm.

Mark: What is Max Craven doing out here?

Susie: And why is he dressed like one of the Village People?

Craven stands up and strolls immediately towards a perplexed Kingdom.

Max: Sorry to interrupt this bald head love fest but Mr. Kingdom I’m here to serve you with a summons.

Comeau: A summons?

Craven: A summons demanding that you Johnny Kingdom appear in Hellkat’s court….

Johnny rips the summons out of his hand and begins to read it, looking appalled.

Johnny: This was drawn on construction paper.

Craven: It doesn’t matter what it’s written on, it’s just as legally binding as a real summons. You will show up in Hellkat’s court or face the consequences. So don’t leave the ring, because your trial starts NEXT.

The microphone is thrown down to the canvas at Kingdom’s feet as Craven backwards towards the ropes. Now Johnny looks over his shoulder at Orlando, the Icon giving him a look that implies nothing has been resolved, and that they’ll finish their issues later.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

IWC….At least there are no rewind buttons

HELLKAT’S COURT

The show returns with some unusual People’s Court style music dramatically playing in the background. Oddly enough during the commercial break a courtroom has been assembled inside of the ring. A witness booth has been arranged beside an elevated seat for the judge. Dramatic narration is employed to set the stage as an irritated Johnny Kingdom sits in a chair just under the judge’s podium, the Cartel title glistening over his shoulder.

Narrator: On this edition of Hellkat’s Court…

Hellkat is shown sliding through the ropes holding a briefcase and wearing a pear of lenseless glasses.

Narrator: The plaintiff claims that Johnny Kingdom inflicted irreversible damage on her husband’s incredibly ginormous brain, a brain bigger than the combination of Aurora Rose’s fake breasts and Robin Brooks’ massive penis. She also claims that he is in possession of stolen property. She now intends to sue him for fifty gagillion dollars.

Johnny scrutinizes Hellkat as she passes, the kitty briefly giving him a lashing through a stretch of her tongue. She stops beside Desolation on the other side of the ring who is in his wheelchair, stroking the hair of a Treasure Troll doll.

Narrator: The defendant claims that Hellkat’s husband had it coming because he was an egotistical, H.P Lovecraft worshipping psychopath with a pudgy waist. He also claims that he has stolen nothing from Hellkat, and that the Cartel Championship deserves its freedom. Both sides of this case will now be heard and be judged with as much bias as humanly possible in Hellkat’s court.

The People’s Court music cuts out in the background as Max Craven stands just under the podium, wearing a modified police uniform with super short shorts.

Craven: We will now hear the case of Hellkat versus Patrick Stewart Head, all rise for the honorable judge….Bob.

The portly Bob appears behind the judge’s podium, taking a seat with his robes. The fat man looks around in confusion at the plaintiff and the defendant.

Bob: Bob like robe, it be tingly.

He rubs at his robe to much delight.

Hellkat: Your honor, I move that you just go ahead and announce me the winner because Johnny Kingdom’s head is far too shinny and it threatens to blind anyone in close proximity to it.

Johnny: I’d rather be bald than growing mange sweetheart.

Hellkat self consciously reaches for her hair, feeling it to make sure it’s just as perfect as she remembered.

Bob: ORDER, ORDER…

Bob is slamming a salami against the stand forcing everyone to hush.

Bob: Bob order twelve tacos with ham.

Hellkat: Judge Bob, just look at my husband. Look at what Desolation has been reduced to thanks to that cowardly Michael Chiklis look alike. It’s bad enough he walks around resembling a human scrotum but what he did to the Dark Man was just as below the belt. I don’t even know where he got that Treasure Troll doll!

Kingdom: Maybe he’s rubbing the gem in the tummy and wishing for a less convoluted wife.

Hellkat: NYAH! Your honor, my husband’s appearance is evidence enough, and if it isn’t, I’ve saved Desolation’s stool samples and urine for the past few weeks to show his level of retardation.

She lifts a big bag full of a yellow substance from her brief case, which only holds this sack, a half eaten fish, and some of Tia’s doodles.

Bob: Bob pee in bag too.

Johnny: Your honor, can I refute these ridiculous claims made by Hellkat, please. If your not too busy obsessing with mnooses that is?

Bob rubs at his jaw, contemplating his response thoroughly.

Bob: The mnooses be in the parsley patch.

For a moment the Team Leader is dumbfounded.

Kingdom: I’ll take that as a yes. Listen, Desolation was obviously retarded before I ever wrestled him. He had to be if he sought out to feud with the Team Leader. Picking a fight with yours truly is more dimwitted than Jason Wheeler, but slightly less androgynies.

Hellkat: Shhh Kingdom, no one should listen to your defense, your not lawyerly at all, you don’t even have a briefcase or glasses, GLASSES. Besides, your testimony is discredited by hanging out with that traitorous Cartel title.

Kingdom: The Cartel title made its decision; it picked a noble, honorable path by distancing itself from a group of tattooed, Star Trek loving loons. Besides, I shouldn’t be judged by the company I keep. It’s not guilt by association Hellkat.

Hellkat: It should be, especially considering your agreement to team with that odious Orlando Cruze. I understand that your both valiantly representing the Hair Club for Men but teaming with Orlando is punishable by firing squad.

Her attention turns back towards the judge who has taken a bite of his salami gavel.

Hellkat: I’d like to call my first witness.

Johnny: Oh come on, this is getting beyond ridiculous.

Hellkat: I’d like to call Axl Evermore to our cheap facsimile of a stand.

Kingdom: I object on the basis that he’s an idiot with a fruity ponytail.

Bob: The mnooses overrule.

Axl Evermore makes his way down the ramp now dressed in his ring gear, he hops to the apron, slips through the ropes and takes a seat in the witness stand. Max approaches him with the Cthulhu Mythos book held in his hand, Evermore places his palm on the back of it.

Craven: Do you swear to tell the truth as you choose to remember it?

Evermore: Eh’, probably.

Max: Good enough for me.

Max steps aside while Kingdom runs his palm down his face, dragging on his lower lip in the process.

Hellkat: Mr. Evermore.

Axl: Madam Hellkat.

Hellkat: Now that I have you under oath, I have but just one question. Do you, or do you not watch Chuck Norris movies religiously?

Axl begins to sweat heavily, comically whipping it away from his brow.

Evermore: Well, well, well, I need something to get me through my day.

Hellkat: And did you, or did you not use my medically prescribed deodorant backstage just twelve minutes ago?

Evermore looks panicked.

Axl: It’s so fragrant.

Kingdom: Your honor, do these questions have any relevance to our case whatsoever?

Hellkat: I’m getting to that! Now Axl, toots, at Extinction did you see what Johnny Kingdom did to my poor, temporarily blinded husband?

For a moment Evermore thinks about it before nodding.

Hellkat: And what did you see?

Axl: Well, I’m just assuming Kingdom didn’t get his required daily dosage of frappachino because he was raging worse than the Hulk on Viagra. He was completely out of control, even when he had the match seemingly won he tried to injure Desolation even further by hitting an unnecessary brainbuster on the apron. It was obvious even before the match that Kingdom was off his rocker, he wouldn’t listen to reason when I tried to calm him down. In fact, he tried to injure me just like he injured Desolation by delivering a Brainbuster off the top rope.

Hellkat: So he has a history of being unstable and having a head shaped like a penis?

Kingdom: Your honor, I object, Axl isn’t an expert in psychology or on penises, since he lacks brains and balls.

Bob: The mnooses say overruled.

Hellkat: I have no further questions your honor. Your witness Kingdom.

Hellkat returns to Desolation’s side as Johnny stands up and asks Axl only one question.

Johnny: Axl? Do you think your talented?

Evermore: That be a bit of an understatement.

Kingdom: Okay, I move his entire testimony be stricken on the basis of insanity.

Bob thinks about it for a moment before nodding much to Hellkat’s bereavement.

Hellkat: Your honor, since Axl was my only witness and my husband is sitting here eating a Treasure Troll doll’s hair I rest my case.

Kingdom: Good, then I would like to call a witness your honor. The Cartel Champion, the Cartel title belt.

Shock emanates from the crowd as Hellkat looks outraged. Evermore steps down out of the witness stand and Kingdom places the Cartel title belt in the still warm seat. Johnny now begins to pace in a lawyerly manner.

Johnny: Cartel title belt, on the night in question did Desolation not trying to permanently injure me as well? If I’m right, say nothing.

The Cartel champion does or says nothing much to Kingdom’s amusement.

Kingdom: Excellent, your silence literally says it all. So what your indicating is that by delivering two Exodus Finales it was self defense. Again, say nothing if I’m right.

There comes no response from the inanimate champion.

Johnny: Just as I thought. Your honor, I rest my case. What I did at the Overbooked Extravaganza was in the interest of self preservation. Desolation was far more crazed than I was heading into the match, I mean, he resurrected Spin the Wheel, Make the Deal TWICE. I had to do whatever I could to protect myself from such a level of blatant insanity.

Bob begins to nod, perhaps sympathizing with Kingdom’s defense. Hellkat will have none of this.

Hellkat: Your honor, I’d like to question the witness, and treat it as hostile.

Bob nods and Hellkat approaches the title, Kingdom standing back with his arms crossed.

Hellkat: Cartel title belt, is it not true that you’re a backstabber, and a traitor and would say anything you could to get yourself out of a sticky situation?

Kingdom: Your honor, I object….

Hellkat: Oh really, well I think the Cartel title is about to discredit itself by showing its true colors.

Before Kingdom can so much as respond to such a wild allegation, Hellkat grabs the title off the stand and swings it right into Johnny’s forehead. The gold bashes off of his skull and the crowd screams in disbelief. Hellkat now towers over Kingdom with the Cartel Champion hanging from her palm.

Bob: Bob find in favor of plaintiff, she have more mnooses.

The salami is slammed again to emphasize the closure of this case, and Bob quickly clears out of harms way. A stunned Kingdom rolls across the canvas cradling his face in his palms before Hellkat throws down the belt and drops an elbow on it to take the champion out of the equation.

Max Craven quickly steps in and drops down, placing the belt in a fujiwara submission hold, forcing it to watch as Hellkat and Evermore drag the dazed Kingdom to his feet. Hellkat looks into Johnny’s eyes.

Hellkat: This is only the beginning Kingy, because I’m going to be in the Weapon’s Lair too and next week, I’m facing the Cartel Champion.

This statement is emphatically made before she and Evermore charge Kingdom at the judge’s stand and throw him head first through the wood. It shatters all around his body and comes crashing down on top of him with the crowd wailing and cheering at the same time.

Kingdom now lays under a mess of shattered wood planks while Hellkat kneels over him, staring down at the man who made her husband retarded. Desolation drools and watches with half of the Treasure Troll sticking out of one of his nostrils.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

ROBIN BROOKS & PHANTOM
VS.
AXL EVERMORE & HELLKAT

Hellkat and Evermore stand back in their corner now, discussing what they did to Johnny Kingdom, who has been cleared from the ring along with the courtroom setting. Referee Fitzpatrick is in the squared circle alongside the heavily tattooed kitty and the slick Evermore. Desolation now sits at ringside, slapping his hands together excitedly.

Comeau: Welcome back to Riot! and what a wonderfully weird segment we just witnessed ending with Hellkat announcing that she’s the sixth person in the Weapon’s Lair and then putting Johnny Kingdom through that wooden podium.

Susie: And Hellkat won her lawsuit, Johnny better not pay that gagillion dollars in all pennies, they get stuck in my nostrils too easily.

Mark: Blasted pennies, but now we’re apparently scheduled to cap things off here this evening with what should be a blockbuster tag team encounter as Hellkat looks for further revenge against Robin Brooks.

That’s when “The Game” by Disturbed hits the PA system and both Robin Brooks and Phantom storm out onto the stage. There is zero delay from either the X-Class Champion or her gargantuan son, who is already scanning the crowd with his eyes, looking for someone. The two immediately progress towards the ring amongst the jeers of the fans. Robin doesn’t wait for the musical interlude to build to her arrival, instead she slips right through the ropes and immediately gets into Hellkat’s face. The two are nose to nose while Phantom climbs up onto the apron.

Comeau: Robin looks mighty miffed, quite hostile in fact tonight.

Susie: Probably because she had to spend thousands on baby food to feed Phantom.

Mark: Actually Robin took offense to the revelation that Hurse saw Hellkat in a compromised position last week, plus Hellkat did spend much of their tag match using Brooks as a weapon.

Phantom steps over the ropes and into the ring, giving up his search while Robin and Hellkat immediately begin to jaw jack.

Robin: You think you’re real cute huh? That you can just go around seducing any man you want? I knew there was a reason Steven was so eager to get you on board with the Alpha Generation. You succubus.

Brooks pie faces Hellkat who steps back still flowing with estrogen over that attack on Kingdom, prompting her to turn and deliver a straight slap to Robin’s cheek. The shot knocks the Black Widow backwards where she is caught against Phantom’s massive sternum.

He wraps her arms around her waist, suddenly being jolted back into reality. He assists his mother out of the way then rushes forward for a lariat at Hellkat. She ducks under the way and Phantom continues forward right into a dropkick from Evermore.

His boots land to his face, knocking Phantom backwards into Hellkat who connects with a spinning heel kick to the back of his massive skull.

The shot knocks Phantom to knees and fists, propping himself up as both Hellkat and Evermore get up on opposite sides of their opponent. They both rush into opposite cables, bouncing off them launching themselves forward into front dropkicks to either side of Phantom’s large cranium.

Mark: Hellkat and Evermore connecting with a lethal series of kicks.

Susie: They should combine all their legs into one devastating fighting force, just like the Rockettes.

Phantom crumbles to the canvas across his ample front side while Hellkat rises to her feet and turns just in time to catch an inbound Brooks. She places her hands to Robin’s ribs, throwing her up into the air then stepping out of the way as she crashes down on top of Phantom’s back in a lateral press position.

Hellkat now turns her back to both opponents, sticking out her foot and placing it in the cupped hands of Evermore. He lifts up on her foot and sends her flipping into a moonsault where she crashes down on top of Robin’s and Phantom’s backs.

Comeau: An aerial combination from Evermore and Hellkat, who have shown signs of sheer brilliance as a tag team.

Susie: Their teamwork is almost as brilliant as me. My teachers always told me I was special, which is why I got those nifty scissors that couldn’t technically cut anything but I still liked to jab them in my ears.

A loud pop is heard from the fans as Hellkat rolls across the canvas to her feet. Fitzpatrick jumps in her path, demanding she vacate the ring before Hellkat tussles his hair and finally leaves the squared circle. The ref removes a comb and immediately begins to straighten his hair out.

This happens right as Evermore rushes into the ropes in front of Phantom, bouncing off and coming back in at the slowly rising goliath. Phantom suddenly reaches out and catches the inbound Axl by the throat, setting up for a chokeslam.

All the while Robin has rolled into a corner, sitting there for support and watching the action through dazed eyes. The shadowy behemoth stands and takes Axl by the back of the pants, already intent on hitting the chokeslam. That’s before Evermore delivers a quick swiping kick to the side of Phantom’s knee.

He now employs his other foot to connect with the opposite side of his opposition’s knee cap. Phantom breaks the choke as Evermore pulls his large head down into a European Uppercut. The shot staggers him before Evermore dives forward into a forearm strike across the side of his face.

Phantom is further staggered by these blows while Axl turns, charging into the ropes and bouncing off the cables. He begins to come back in at his dazed opponent before Robin steps up to his side, connecting with the step up enzugari to the back of his head.

The stiff kick sends Axl stumbling forward right into Phantom’s arm. He lifts him up into the air and slams him down into the canvas with the sideslam. The X-Class Champ rolls to the outside of the ring while Phantom hooks Axl’s legs for the pinfall.

Evermore kicks out, sitting up almost immediately on the canvas.

Comeau: Robin exploiting the referee’s ignorance by not being cleared from the ring like Hellkat was and then taking out Axl with a step up enzugari.

Susie: The ref had to fix his hair, it’s a truly beautiful mullet after all. Truly awe inspiring.

Phantom stands up and grabs the wrist of Evermore, using this grasp to pull Axl back down to the canvas across his spine. Once he’s laid out Phantom extends his leg and drops it right across Axl’s throat, causing him to convulse slightly. Phantom rolls to his feet and then rushes into the cables, ricocheting off of them. He comes back in at the laid out Axl and lunges into the air, coming down with the point of his elbow directly into the Fully Loaded member’s sternum.

All of the weight crashing down on him inflicts a significant amount of damage and leaves Axl clutching at his chest. He rolls to his knees, arms draped over his sternum when Phantom stands up and steps to his side, hooking his arms around Axl’s waist.

Evermore is dead lifted from the canvas, being flipped over into the side slam. Axl’s frame is driven with such force against the canvas that shockwaves of pain reverberate all throughout his body.

He winces while rolling to his side, Robin cackling with delight from the apron and Hellkat growing impatient.

Comeau: Phantom really throwing his weight around in this match.

Susie: Is he the Blob from X-Men? If I throw myself out at him am I going to be swallowed by his stomach?

Mark: You never know this day and age.

A battered Axl begins to stand when Phantom clobbers him between the eyes via a straight punch. The impact sends Evermore spinning away, trying to balance himself. Phantom quickly takes him by the shoulder, spinning him around and going for a big boot to his jaw.

Axl ducks this inbound boot, rushing across the ring into the cables. He bounces off them lunges into the air at a turning Phantom who catches Evermore across his chest, blocking the crossbody. The big man then throws the Sex & Violence member up into the air, twisting him around so that he lands on his shoulder.

Phantom begins to rush forward in order to hit the running powerslam only to spot that strange woman in the crowd. The same mysterious lass who was present last week is in the crowd yet again, this time holding a sign with the words “Kris Kiern” written across its surface. An arrow is pointed own at herself and a very sympathetic expression inhabits her eyes.

Phantom tilts his head, observing her oddly when Evermore twists his body, slipping off of his shoulder, taking him around the neck and ultimately pulling him down into a vicious DDT. The top of Phantom’s cranium collides with force against the canvas.

Such impact leads him to roll across the ring towards Robin who reaches over the ropes slapping his back. She now pulls herself towards the top rope, reaching the highest point of the turnbuckle and stalking her prey.

Comeau: Robin stopping on the top rope, perhaps looking to catch Evermore unaware.

Susie: Maybe she suddenly caught a fear of heights.

Mark: It isn’t contagious.

Moore: Oh, so you can only catch it through kissing then?

Axl fights through the multiple collisions his body has withstood while valiantly rising to his feet. Unfortunately the second he stands he turns right into Robin flying through the air, looking for her own crossbody from a higher elevation.

However, the move proves to be a fatal error for the user yet again as Axl drops out of the way and Brooks crashes across the canvas with a splat. Evermore continues to roll before finding himself wedged against the cables back first, utilizing them to ascend to his feet.

He finds himself shocked to spot Phantom back upright and lobbing a boot towards his head. Evermore ducks down out of the way and causes Phantom to crotch himself across the top rope. A roar of agony emits from the giant as his testicles are strained over the cable.

Evermore is smiling in his direction while Hellkat shouts something towards a rising Robin.

Hellkat: I bet you can sympathize with that type of pain, aye Robin?

Brooks stands up in anger and goes for a superkick to the back of Axl’s head. Evermore spins around and ducks the inbound foot of his opponent, Robin’s leg traveling towards Phantom’s face now. Just when it seems she is going to superkick him just like at the Overbooked Extravaganza her foot stops just short of his jaw.

Robin lowers her foot to the canvas and smiles towards Phantom.

Robin: See, I’d never willingly hurt you baby.

Suddenly Axl dropkicks Robin to the back, sending her crashing into Phantom and crashing into his side. The big man spills over the ropes to the outside mats while Brooks staggers backwards into the waiting arms of Evermore. He pulls her down into the back slide as the official makes the count.

Fitzpatrick’s hand does not meet the canvas a third time because Robin has already kicked out. She drops to her knees, gets to her feet and rushes backwards into the ropes. Evermore stands up while stooped forward when Robin catches him around the neck, jumping into the air and pulling him around into the tornado DDT.

Axl’s skull meets the ring with quite the thud, causing him to roll to his back where he now lays motionless.

Comeau: Tornado DDT rocking Evermore, he was caught completely unprepared for that move from our X-Class Champion.

Susie: I was just as shocked when I found out Barrack Obama was African American.

Robin crawls towards Evermore, beaming a quick stare towards Hellkat then digging her nails into Axl’s eyes. She begins to rake them back and forth as Evermore tries desperately to push them away. Fitzpatrick is jumping all over Robin’s case, counting to five in order to disqualify her before Brooks ceases at four.

An agitated Axl rolls away reaching for his eyes when Brooks steps in and slaps him to the back of his head.

Robin: This is what you get when you associate with trash like Hellkat.

She slaps him yet again to the back of the head then stomps Evermore to the side of the face. The shot knocks him rolling towards the corner, falling against it spine first.

As soon as he ends up in this seated position Robin charges towards him, the Champion grabbing the top rope and kicking lower body up into the air. Obviously she intends on swinging her feet down directly into Evermore’s sternum only for the two time Cartel Champion to stand up and twist catching her on top of his shoulders.

Axl has Robin in a fireman’s carry as he turns to face the center of the ring and drops forward into a rolling senton. Brooks crashes hard against the canvas on her back while Evermore rolls forward to his feet then steps in and tags Hellkat.

Susie: YES, YES, SHE’S IN THERE! Clean Cheetara’s clock Hellkat, there can be only one female Thundercat. Lion-O just won’t spread his seed to anyone, you’ve got to earn it.

Comeau: I’ll pretend I heard none of that and just say Hellkat’s got the hot tag, let’s see what she does with it.

Hellkat slides into the ring and storms right towards Robin who holds up her palms defensively. No amount of begging off will stop Hellkat from almost ripping her in half with a spear. Brooks is taken down to the canvas and Hellkat crawls up to her side, aggressively delivering rapid fire punches to her forehead.

Robin squirms back and forth, trying to free herself and finally getting away long enough to stand. She begins to storm towards Hellkat who catches her across the sternum with a chop, then a spinning mafia kick right to the jaw. The impact disorientates Brooks but doesn’t remove her from her feet.

After delivering the kick Hellkat spins so that her back is facing Robin then flips in reverse, connecting with the Pele. Her shin hits Brooks right to the top of her head, knocking her to the canvas. Hellkat gets to her feet and spots Phantom starting to drag himself up onto the apron.

She charges in and dives feet first through the ropes, hitting a dropkick to his sternum and knocking Phantom to the outside mats. He lands on his feet albeit stooped over gripping at his sternum while Hellkat remains seated on the second rope.

A crude smile inhabits her face as Robin stands and rushes up behind the seated Hellkat, going for a strike to her back. However, Hellkat lifts her legs up into the air over the top rope, sliding around it into a modified skin of the cat. Her shins land right on top of Robin’s shoulders with Hellkat elevated above the ring, holding onto the top rope.

She lets go of it and swings around, hitting a leg scissors that sends Robin flipping through the air. They both spill to the canvas with Hellkat immediately getting to her feet.

All the while Evermore is running across the apron and diving off into a forward flipping senton, crashing down right on top of a still recovering Phantom’s sternum. Both men crash to the mats while inside of the ring Hellkat has taken Robin by the hair, forcing her to a crouching base while raining down knees on her forehead.

Comeau: Hellkat wasn’t through unleashing her tensions on Kingdom, now she’s taking it out on Brooks, getting a measure of payback.

Susie: Maybe she’ll sue Robin too and get another gagillion bucks. I can buy a whole house out of gingerbread if I had that type of money.

The knees continue to collide with Robin’s forehead as she tries her best to cover up with the use of her arms. The feisty feline now rushes in and delivers a straight running shin kick directly to Robin’s face while both palms were still covering it.

Despite possibly having shattered fingers Brooks may also be suffering a cracked cranium as she tumbles to her back. Brooks looks absolutely stunned by these succession of strikes, rolling across the canvas and beginning to stand up. She barely reaches her feet before being booted to the ribs and whipped across the ring.

Brooks charges into the turnbuckle but grabs the top ropes, kicking her legs up into the air and forming a straight line with her body. Hellkat charges in and steps under his legs though, catching them on top of her shoulders. She turns away from Brooks, about to pull down on the bag of her shins and connect with the Alabama Slam style spinebuster.

However, Brooks lets go of the ropes and swings her body around, flipping Hellkat over sideways into a head scissors piledriver. The top of Hellkat’s head collides violently with the ring, causing her to flip over onto her knees.

Moore: SPOILED SALAMI!

Comeau: Hellkat dumped right on top of her head with a sensational move from Robin Brooks.

The vicious kitty drops over sideways to her knees, swaying from side to side with unconscious eyes. A recovering Robin steps in and takes her around the neck, pulling her to her feet and hooking her arm around behind her back. Brooks sweeps her leg and hits a hammerlock DDT.

The top of Hellkat’s head again meets the canvas with particularly nasty force. Hellkat flips over onto her back and a dazed Robin dives desperately into the cover, hooking the leg in the process.

Axl enters the ring and drags Robin off of his partner. She turns looking furious but has no time to unload on Evermore, who is already charging at the ropes and flipping over them towards a recuperating Phantom. He lands right on top of Phantom’s shoulder, going for another flipping senton only to be caught this time.

Phantom turns now and delivers a dominator that slams Axl down ribs first right on top of the announce table. Mark and Susie jump back in shock.

Mark: Axl may have had his hip broken on our table.

Moore: Now he’ll never be able to do a good Elvis impersonation.

Evermore remains draped over the edge of the table, holding his ribs and roaring in agony. Inside of the ring Brooks has mounted Hellkat’s sternum and is rocketing off with right hands to her forehead. She pulls Hellkat by the hair up to her seat then delivers a dropkick directly to her forehead.

The collision knocks Hellkat to her back while her opponent reaches her feet then jumps over her, traveling into the cables. She springs to the middle rope then flips over backwards with an asai moonsault, crashing down right across Hellkat’s face, inflicting even further damage on it.

She now falls forward into the lateral press with a hook of the leg.

Hellkat is able to get her own shoulder from the canvas at this point, causing Robin to go into an estrogen induced rage. She stands up and begins to stop lividly at every inch of Hellkat’s anatomy while Phantom climbs up onto the apron, getting back into their corner.

Robin grabs Hellkat by the wrist now and begins to drag her up to her feet. She places the kitty in a front chancery, drags her to an upright base then lifts her into a rather brutal brainbuster. Hellkat is driven into the canvas across the top of her head yet again while Robin keeps the front chancery established.

She rolls to her side and pulls Hellkat along with her as they both reach a standing base. Brooks changes from the front chancery into a double underhook as she hoists Hellkat into the air, rushes forward and dumps the former World Champion right on top of her head.

The double underhook side piledriver results in Hellkat’s body folding up like an accordion before it springs from the canvas and she crashes to her back.

Susie: Anymore drops on the head and she’ll be eating Treasure Trolls right alongside Desolation.

Comeau: And I think we have far too many retards around the ring as it is.

Evermore is laying on the outside mats, with his arms crossed over his ribs, unable to come to his partner’s aid. All the while Brooks crawls into another cover, hooking both legs this time.

Hellkat again kicks out, even after those last two devastating head drops. Robin sits up, looking absolutely speechless while the crowd erupts, rallying behind the dominating feline.

An outraged Brooks stands up and grabs Hellkat’s hair, forcing her up into a front chancery submission. She is twisting at the neck with all of her strength while backing towards her corner, reaching out for the tag. Phantom slaps her palm and enters the ring as Brooks whips her across the ring into the corner.

Hellkat hits the turnbuckle hard spine first as Robin comes barreling in, jumping into the air and twisting into a back elbow that connects right to her opponent’s chest.

A glimpse of pain can be seen on Hellkat’s face as Phantom now charges across the ring and engulfs her with the folds of his fat via big splash.

Moore: Oh no, Hellkat’s face was just swallowed by Phantom’s man-boobies. He must think she cut her in the buffet line.

Phantom grabs the back of Hellkat’s head and charges her out of the corner directly into a high knee lift from Brooks. The plotting Black Widow places her in a front chancery and lifts Hellkat into the for possibly another brainbuster while Phantom steps in to watch.

As soon as she gets Hellkat up into the air the knee of her opponent cracks against her forehead. Hellkat hits another knee to the top of Robin’s head then extends her legs outward, dropping them on top of Phantom’s shoulders as he lurks in front of his mother.

Robin breaks the front chancery as Hellkat pulls Phantom around into a head scissors. Brooks steps out of the way just in time to avoid her brutish son who was flipped towards her and now spills into the canvas. Hellkat tries to stand in a daze when Brooks rushes forward her, jumping into the air for a spinning heel kick.

However, Hellkat sidesteps her and at the same time catches Brooks around the waist, dragging her down out of mid-air into a German suplex. A loud eruption of cheers are heard from the crowd as Robin slams hard into the ring then rolls across it, writhing in pain.

Comeau: Hellkat with a resurgence in offense, taking out both of her opponents in this wild exchange.

Susie: I had a wild exchange once, but it involved bodily fluids and it’s protected by the rape shield law.

Hellkat staggers to her feet and stumbles towards the ropes, unaware that Phantom is residing on the opposite side of them. She doesn’t realize this until he stands and snatches her by the throat, Phantom looking to chokeslam her to the outside of the ring.

Hellkat drives the tip of her elbow repeatedly into his bicep though, causing him to break the hold. She now rushes into the ropes running perpendicular to the ones he’s standing opposite of. She springs to the second rope, flies into the air, twists around as she soars over the top cable and catches Phantom around the neck, pulling him around into a tornado DDT right on the apron.

The top of Phantom’s skull rams into the hardest portion of the ring, leaving him in an incredibly incoherent state and bringing the fans out of their seats. Well, with the exception of one fan, that woman who continues to hold up the sign featuring Phantom’s real name and watching with heightened fear.

Comeau: Can you believe the move we just saw from Hellkat?

Susie: Sure I can, it was just as believable as Santa Claus.

Phantom somehow remains on the apron, sitting back up with his eyes rolling to the back of his head. Hellkat slides into the ring and rushes across it, having fully recovered from Robin’s earlier assault. She bounces off the cables and roars across the ring before diving feet first through the top and middle rope, hitting another front dropkick, this time to Phantom’s upper back.

The shot knocks him to the outside mats as Hellkat now sits on the middle cable yet again, continuing to catch her breath and leaning slightly backwards. She has no idea that Robin is running into the ropes running perpendicular to the one’s she’s seated on. Brooks jumps to the middle rope, springs off into a backwards moonsault and crashes across Hellkat’s upper half.

Hellkat, who was seated on the second rope, is now driven down back first into the canvas with Brooks landing on top of her. Again the crowd explodes with the exception of that one concerned female bystander.

Comeau: Oh, another moonsault from Robin but this one inflicting much more damage. This tag team encounter is pure anarchy.

Brooks rolls across the canvas and begins to stand up when Evermore slips into the ring in front of her and charges at his kneeling opponent. He grips at his ribs before taking her around the neck, stuffing her head under his seat then lifting her into a powerbomb. However, he drops back into the olleyoop, slamming Robin face and sternum first into the canvas.

Mark: Now a reverse powerbomb of sorts by Evermore, this action is just all over the place!

Susie: Much like an episode of Melrose Place.

Evermore sits up slowly, still gripping at his ribs while Robin rolls to the outside mats, spilling onto them in a heap of pain. She grabs at her ribs, suffering some significant damage as she staggers towards the time keeper, snatching her X-Class title belt out of his hands.

Moore: Oh, I guess Robin wants to look at herself in the title belt again, see how pretty she looks.

Mark: I think she has other intentions for the belt Susie.

Susie: Like using it to hold up her pants?

Shockingly Phantom is showing signs of life, desperately dragging himself up the ropes and onto the apron. Evermore turns around to spot and now rushes forward, lunging into the air. Somehow Phantom twists his body on the apron and catches Axl on his shoulders.

Before Evermore has time to react Phantom turns and pulls him over into the Death Valley Driver. Evermore is slammed with brutal force against the apron while Phantom now sits with a demonic expression on his face.

The crowd is stunned by this heinous slam on the apron as Phantom gets to his feet and turns towards the ring just in time to spot Hellkat charging in with a right hand. He blocks it and responds with a headbunt, knocking the tattooed feline down to the canvas.

In his exhausted state he steps over the ropes, sweating pure Crisco at this point. However, he refuses to let his injuries hold him back, stepping over a rising Hellkat’s head and dragging it under his seat. He now signals for the Insomnia, taking Hellkat around the waist and lifting her up into the air onto his shoulders.

The referee is checking on Axl’s condition on the apron with the crowd screaming, realizing Hellkat is on the verge of being finished off.

Comeau: Helkat being hoisted up for the Insomnia, this could very well be the end.

Susie: Of time? But there are so many things I’ve never done, I haven’t once stood in the line at the post office, or jaywalked. It can’t end like this, not now!

Phantom lifts her up for the elevated reverse bomb when Hellkat nimbly slips over his head, landing on her feet right behind him. It’s at this point that Robin slides into the ring in front of her nemesis, rushing forward and swinging the X-Class title belt right at Hellkat’s forehead.

She ducks it as Phantom turns around and walks right into a shot from the X-Class title belt. The big man crumbles to the canvas as Robin stands over him, looking stunned by what she’s just done.

Moore: CHILD ABUSE, CHILD ABUSE!

Comeau: Robin just took out Phantom AGAIN! This time with her title belt.

Robin finally just shrugs and turns back towards Hellkat only to have the X-Class title belt superkicked back into her face by the feisty feline. The shot knocks Brooks to the canvas as Hellkat turns towards the laid out Phantom, looking back and forth at the fans.

She now just lunges into the lateral press on the hefty figure as the official turns away from Evermore and makes the count.

A rip roaring reaction tears through the arena as Axl Evermore and Hellkat have just picked up the victory in this action packed tag team encounter.

Susie: WHOOPI! The Wonder Twins have done it, and they didn’t even have to turn into water or a dinosaur or anything!

Comeau: Evermore and Hellkat victorious here tonight on Riot! after that accidental shot from the X-Class title belt. I bet Robin is kicking herself right now.

The fans are still standing and celebrating while Hellkat assists Evermore through the ropes, helping him up to his feet. He grips at his ribs while lifting Hellkat’s arm up high and pointing in her direction.

An absolutely infuriated Brooks has regained consciousness just in time to witness this spectacle in the center of the ring. She now turns and kicks the barricade with force, absolutely flipping out over what she’s seeing.

Mark: Robin does not like what has transpired, but thanks to her Hellkat and Evermore are victorious this evening.

Robin is still flipping out while grabbing her X-Class title belt off of the canvas. She throws it over her shoulder and points directly at Hellkat, shouting the words “this isn’t over.” Hellkat moves her fingers in a mocking talking fashion which even further unsettles the vindictive Black Widow.

Robin seems content with leaving the unconscious Phantom behind. But before any further harm can come to him at the hands of his opponent, Hellkat and Evermore scramble, because Johnny Kingdom has come bolting down the ramp with chair in hand.

Moore: Watch out kitty, watch out, Johnny is about to take one of your nine lives.

Comeau: Kingdom looking for revenge after what happened just a few short moments ago.

He slides into the squared circle, jumping to his feet with the steel gripped tightly and his face a bloodied puddle. The EMTs had no time to suture his wounds or so much as bandage them before he came out here to avenge the earlier beat-down performed by Hellkat and Evermore.

Hellkat backs away from the ring where the homicidal Kingdom resides, stepping around to the wheelchair holding Desolation and beginning to push it towards the ramp. Robin watches all of this with a smile on her face before Kingdom turns towards the only person remaining in the ring, a recovering Phantom.

Johnny’s ravenous, rage fueled eyes shift back to a smirking Evermore and an annoyed Hellkat before he swings his chair with incredible force right into Phantom’s cranium. The steel almost demolishes over Phantom’s thick skull, knocking him to the canvas.

Comeau: My God, Kingdom just waffled Phantom!

Susie: He should have pancakced him, they taste better.

Phantom lays unconscious on the canvas while Kingdom throws down the chair then motions for Hellkat and Axl to enter the ring. Neither competitor takes him up on his offer and instead back up the ramp. All the while Robin watches from the stage, shaking her head.

The show closes on the bloodied, rage fueled eyes of the Team Leader sternly locked on the smiling face of Hellkat.

FADE TO BLACK