“I wonder how many dogs it takes to make a pan full of stir-fry..?” he said casually. The cook gave him a glare and went back to flipping puppy tenders. Jalie spotted a Dr. Seuss display in one of the store window’s and practically dragged Seth to it. She ran inside the store and pulled the life-size Grinch from the window, spinning it around happily. The clerk rushed over, looking like he’s had a day full of crying kids and equally cranky mothers, and snatched the stuffed Grinch.

“Stop touching, or i’ll be in quite the tight cinch.” he explained. “Hey!” Jalie shouted, protruding her lip as she whimpered and pouted. “I think what my wife is trying to say... Is that we’d like to buy the display.” Seth explained.

“That rhymed. You’re getting into the spirit already, honey.” Jalie said, grinning. “I think this Grinch would make my day, wouldn’t you say?” she went on, amusing herself.

The clerk rolled his eyes and let out a deep breath.

“It isn‘t for sale! I don’t care if you pout or you sigh or you wail.” he drawled.

“Well.. I think that you‘ll find if you just change your mind, we have enough money. Am I right honey?“ Jalie asked, smiling.

“I‘ll pay fifty bucks, which is quite the deal for us cheap ol‘ canucks.” Seth bargained. The clerk looked at him with a sneer and a snort.

“That’s half what we paid! Besides, we don’t make deals of that sort.”

“A hundred dollars. Fine. Pay him, love, so that Grinch can be mine.” Jalie replied.

She grabbed the stuffed green fellow and walked out of the store with a spring in her step, while Seth paid the man so the deal was kept.

.Dos.

Spencer’s was crowded, although not quite so much as the toy stores and Sears. Jalie was standing in front of the section dedicated to Ozzy Osbourne, with Ozzy pillows, blanket, clocks, lunchboxes, and the like. She picked up one of each, stacking them on her arms and stumbling over to the counter.

“Hold these for a minute, will ya?”

She didn’t let the cashier respond, and instead headed to the back of the store where the light displays were held. She was mesmerized by a pink strobe.

“Hey, honey...”

“AH!” Jalie yelped. “I told you not to sneak up on me like that.” She told him, punching his arm.

“You told me to make a noise when I walk up behind you so I don’t scare you. Yet when I do, it still scares you. So I guess I might as well have some fun with it then, eh?”

Jalie playfully stuck her tongue out at him.

“Guess what I found?” Seth asked, knowing full well she couldn‘t answer. She raised an eyebrow and Seth brought his hand out from behind his back. “A woodpecker!” There he stood, smiling, with a penis made of wood in his hand.

“Cute...” She snickered.

“They have a bunch of funny shit in this one section. Titty Pasta, “Pin the Penis on the Pimp”, boobmuffs...

Seth grabbed her by the arm and led her to the adult humour section. There she found herself staring at all sorts of goodies. She seemed particularly interested in a Kama Sutra book and began flipping through the pages as Seth ran off again. Jalie’s eyes slowly grew as she turned the book to the side.

“We have to try this...” She noted to herself.

Seth came back and stood next to Jalie with a grin on his face. Jalie tore her eyes from the book and looked at him, then down to find a drinking container in the shape of a penis sticking out of his pants.

“Very nice. I’d like to see you take that to work with us.” Jalie said.

“Yeah? Well I just might.” Seth replied, sticking his nose in the air.

“You can beat on Mad Dogg with it and see how long it takes for him to submit...” Jalie suggested.

“I imagine it wouldn’t be his first time...” Seth added.

He set the item back on the shelf and took off once again, leaving Jalie to her book. This time he returned holding a large rectangular box in front of him.

“I got something for you, honey...” He said with a grin.

Jalie looked at him a little suspiciously. She opened the box and went digging through the paper. Her eyes suddenly widened and Seth’s grin grew bigger.

“Surprise...”

Jalie pushed the paper aside and got all excited.

“Let’s go.” She ordered.

She put the lid back on and grabbed the book. Seth followed her up to the counter, still holding the box in front of him. She tossed the Kama Sutra book on the counter beside the Ozzy supplies as the cashier began to ring them up. He glanced at the book, then back at Jalie and smirked, thus causing Seth to lean over and slap him. Once their items were bagged the two left the store.

“You do realize we got nothing that we came for, right?” Seth noted.

“Right now, I don’t care...” Jalie exclaimed as she led Seth towards the bathrooms.

.[Violence].

Layton..

What else can I say to you? You, my friend, are the dog shit on the shoe of life. That is what I can say. But, other than that..? I’ve got nothing. Not because you’ve left me speechless, or because I have nothing against you, it’s just the fact that i’ve already made my opinion on you known. Granted you could argue the opinion of one person isn’t worth a whole lot, but then again, i’m a little higher on the EWO ladder than you are, my friend. And everyone knows it. Thus the reason (as I stated before) I am in the title match in place of someone such as yourself.

Now, to be honest, I really see no reasonable point to continue on about when you’ve done nothing to deserve it, in a sense. Sure, you’re an idiot and you deserve a swift kick to the ass, but that doesn’t mean you deserve my time.. Get my drift?

Please tell me I'm dreaming...

There obviously wasn't enough competition to put us against a decent pairing. And these random pairing tournaments never work. Look and Erik Dean and IceZ. They won their match then turned on each other. Layton and Allisa are at least familiar with one another, so they automatically had an advantage from the beginning, as do Cody and myself. Sure, one of the random pairings could have gotten lucky and won this thing, but what kind of champions would they be? Nothing but a flash in the pan. Cody and myself have been planning for this for some time now. We are fully prepared for what’s at stake, whereas others think it’s their lucky day for being entered. I personally think this all is a waste of time. If Epic wanted the best team for the job, he should’ve just come to us.

No need for this “third party” bullshit.

And who is unfortunate enough to face us? Mad Dogg and Dirk Phoenix. What’s the point? Dirk has already proven he’s below par in the ring, on several occasions. Although my favourite would have to be his feeble attempt to beat my wife.

You got beaten by a girl!

Odd how we haven’t heard too much from Mr. Phoenix, aside from his little conversation with his partner. Usually he doesn’t know when to shut up. Perhaps he has finally learned his lesson; Your words always taste better when they’re short and sweet. Or maybe he just doesn’t care anymore. He didn’t seem too enthusiastic, and neither did his partner. I’m glad they recognize the fact that Cody and I aren’t people you want to cross paths with. Their biggest fault? Not having any confidence. Mad Dogg said he wasn’t even ready. You can’t play this game with luck. You’ll lose every time. That just shows how inexperienced they are. You cannot show weakness, especially to veterans such as Cody and myself. So pay attention, you could learn a few things tomorrow night.

Fin.