Lezzies and Midol and Tampons, oh my!

.[Forward]. Boy, did WE get our asses kicked, eh? I know, I know. I’ll admit it when someone got the better of me. Sure, we were outnumbered... But not by much. Dunn and his buddies were one up on us that night... Plain and simple. I applaud the whole table incident too... Very nice. If I wasn’t on the receiving end I would have been cheering my ass off. I must admit though, I felt a little left out when Seth and Cody were both busted open and I wasn’t. In theory, I should be pissed about what happened... Threaten Dunn and his goons, and proceed to piss and moan like a diva on the rag. Right? Maybe. But I can recognize a good ass kicking when I see, or feel one. However this doesn’t mean anyone should come to any conclusions about me either. Unlike Jasmine Lee, I won’t take it lying down. Dunn was one up on us... Which means next time, we go two up on him, and so on. All in all it adds up to an incredibly violent, and highly entertaining feud which i’m proud to be a part of. Even if I do come out with a few bumps and bruises, broken ribs, whatever. It’s all in good fun. Plus, bruises are fun to poke at. Now. There’s something I wanted to mention about a certain promo I saw the other day. Suave Jones. Boy do you sound like a Colombian drug dealer! Tell me, how many lines could a wetback snort if a wetback could snort lines? And that’s not a racist comment... I AM a wetback. Jones made the mistake of referring to Seth and I as rookies. Rookies? Where the fuck have YOU been Rico? You’re the rookie, jackass. Seth and I have been in this business for years... We know our way around. I’m not trying to make a name for myself. I have made a name for myself. I am more than you will ever fuckin’ be... And my careers not even half over. I shattered the expectations of my peers, and changed the face of womens wrestling forever. What have you done? .[Lezzies and Midol and Tampons, oh my!]. .[..i honestly don't know..]. SCENE: Female Empowerment Convention DATE: September 23rd, 2004 TIME: 1:35 P.M. LOCATION: San Diego, California The cameras fade in to a crowded gymnasium in downtown San Diego. The room is crowded with butch-looking women, and the occasional chick in a business suit. Towards the front is a small stage set-up with a podium where a woman is seen addressing the crowd. Backstage, in a small corner, we see Jalie Thomas sitting in a folding chair and looking very uncomfortable. Suddenly her cell phone rings. She burrows into her pockets, finally emerging with it. Jalie Thomas: Hi babe. Seth Thomas: Hey. How’s the convention going? Jalie Thomas: Not good. I think some chick tried to grab my ass earlier. Seth Thomas: Ooh, kinky. You get her number? Jalie Thomas: She looked like Roseanne with more facial hair. Seth Thomas: That’s disturbing. Anyway, when are you supposed to speak? Jalie Thomas: Any minute now, actually. Seth Thomas: Aright... Well good luck babe. I’ll see you at home. Jalie Thomas: Yeah... if I make it. She hangs up, glancing at the curtain as she hears her name being announced. She stands and heads onto the stage to no reaction whatsoever. Let’s be honest... How many feminists watch wrestling? Jalie taps the microphone and clears her throat. Jalie Thomas: Yeah... I was invited here to speak on behalf of uh.. Women in professional wrestling. Or at least that’s what the cue card says. We feel that our role in the business is merely for show... And that the sexist views of our male peers are smothering us in what could be a pleasant work environment... Oh you people better be paying me well for this. I, along with several of my female co-workers are fighting hard to change the idealistic views of what a woman’s role should be, not just in the workplace, but in life itself. She sighs loudly, before continuing her speech. Jalie Thomas: We are fighting. We’re fighting for better job opportunities. Better healthcare. Better welfare benefits. God this is bullshit! Don’t you fucking realize that because of the threats to sue, women get better fucking jobs than every one else 9 times out of 10? Don’t you realize, that you get the same god damn healthcare as an average working male? And welfare... Yes, I’m gonna give you fucking people MY tax dollars so that you can sit on your ass and eat donuts while you watch your soap operas? No! Either shut up and get your asses to work without bitching over benefits packages, or get your asses back in the fucking kitchen! A roar goes up in the crowd. Jalie ducks a high heel aimed at her head. Jalie Thomas: Yeah the truth fuckin’ hurts, doesn’t it? Say, here’s an idea... Would you shut the fuck up if we installed a hot water tub in the drawer beneath the stove? That way you can soak your bare feet while you make your man, who does most of the hard labor, his dinner. She laughs maniacally, as a number of items are being pitched at her from the crowd. Jalie reaches beneath the podium and pulls out a box of tampons, then begins throwing them into the crowd. Jalie Thomas: Maybe, if you looked at how much men worked also, you’d realize that house-work isn’t all that bad, is it? So why don’t you all take a god damn Midol and quit wasting space with your fucking protests?! Feminism is just a way for ugly women and lesbians to be accepted into society! Jalie flips them off, before ducking off stage. The group director storms on stage and begins ranting. Director: Ladies, I deeply apologize for this disturbance, I had NO idea- The cameras switch to Jalie who’s standing just in front of the curtain and holding up a sign that reads “Iron My Shirt, Bitch!”. She removes a smashed package of Twinkies from her pocket and pitches it, smacking the woman in the forehead. Security guards appear at the opposite end of the stage and head for Jalie at a run. She ducks behind the curtain and takes off as the scene fades. .[Action - 9/25/04]. HAHAHAHAHA! Xyza got fired. I find that funny. That’s what happens when your confidence is disproportionate to your abilities. Now... Unfortunately for me, none of my opponents have even shown their faces yet. This makes me very unhappy. And when I’m unhappy, more people become unhappy. Because when I’m unhappy... I’m a raging bitch. Hell, I’m a raging bitch anyway but who cares. What matters, is that these two don’t even have the nerve to speak to me. Either that, or they’re a little slow. Maybe both. Who knows? If they aren’t going to bother showing up... Then they’re likely to have the same fate as Johansen did. Not that i’d mind, but it’s just less eye candy for the guys. The straight ones, anyway. It seems like it’s taking forever for this match to come. I’ve done zero preparing for it... Honestly, it’s not like I need to. This match is basically a warm-up. My opponents have obviously put in no effort... So why should I waste my energy? Simply put, I shouldn’t. And I’m not going to. Fin.